Transcription
I want to talk to you properly in this video, and I don't want to talk to you like a friend, not like some motivational speaker, not like somebody reading recycled advice off the internet. I want to talk to you like somebody who genuinely understands what narcissistic relationships do to people psychologically. Because I think a lot of you are exhausted. In fact, I know a lot of you are. I read all the comments. And not just because of the narcissist, but because of the amount of energy you are pouring into things and never going to give you the peace that you want and that you deserve. And honestly, I think some of you probably already know that, and that's why you're watching this video. You can probably feel it in your nervous system. You are emotionally running on fumes, trying to solve a person who benefits from your confusion.
So, in this video, I want to give you a real talk. It's not going to be long, and I recommend you stay until the end. Four things you need to stop doing with narcissists, and you need to stop it not because you're weak, definitely not because you're stupid or anything like that, because these four things are keeping you emotionally trapped inside of their system. And I really think if you understand what I'm about to explain to you, something is going to click for you. Or I hope it's going to click.
The first thing you need to stop doing is this. It's trying to make them finally understand the pain that you're going through. And I know that probably hurts because you think that they should know. Because some of you have spent years trying to explain yourself perfectly. You explained calmly, you explained emotionally, you wrote paragraphs, you cried, you begged, you you tried examples, you you tried silence, anger, disconnection, you tried patience and deep down a part of you still somewhere believes, and I know this is true, if they could just fully understand how much they hurt me. Maybe, just maybe, they would change. But here is the painful truth most people avoid saying directly enough. Your pain is not confusing to a narcissist. Your pain is not confusing, it's inconvenient to them. And that's very different. Sit with that for a moment. It's not it's inconvenience. And once you understand that difference, your entire perception starts changing because you stop speaking to them like they're emotionally healthy people temporarily behaving badly, and you start seeing the reality. A narcissist often understands your emotions far more than you actually think. They just emotionally prioritize themselves above your emotions. That's why explaining yourself endlessly endlessly just changes nothing. You're trying to unlock empathy with logic. And I and I get that. And empathy does not appear because your explanation becomes more perfect.
The second thing you need to do or you should stop doing is obsessing over fairness. And that's very hard. This is one This one keeps people trapped for years and years after relationships because healthy people naturally believe if I am fair, surely eventually they will be fair back to me. Oh, no. No, that's not true. Narcissists do not see relationships as emotional partnerships, so you're not a team. They often see them as an emotional negotiation, which means fairness only matters if it benefits one thing, and that is them. And honestly, one of the biggest mindset shifts you will ever have is realizing this. You are trying to play chess emotionally with someone flipping the board over whenever they start to lose. That's why you feel constantly constantly exhausted because you are still expecting structure from a person that wants chaos. And some of you you simply need to just hear this and hear this directly. Closure is not watching them suddenly become accountable because that will not happen. Closure is emotionally accepting that they probably won't ever give you closure. And that's the freedom that you're going to need.
The third thing that you need to stop doing is monitoring them. And I know that's going to sound hard, and you might pretend that you don't or you might say you don't, but you need to stop checking their social media, watching who they follow, watching their relationships, watching their stories, watching Never watch their stories because I mean, they're going to see that. Watch whether they seem happy. Watch if karma hits them. Listen to me carefully when I say this. Every second you're emotionally monitoring a narcissist your nervous system stays attached to them. And honestly, I think a lot of people confuse obsession with unfinished love. And it's not always love. Sometimes your brain is stuck in survival mode trying to predict danger. That's why victims become hyper-focused on narcissists after the relationship. Your nervous system got trained to scan them constantly. But the problem is every time you check them, you reopen the emotional wound on yourself. And meanwhile, they continue occupying mental space they no longer deserve access to.
Now, the fourth and final one. I think might genuinely be the probably the most important one of all and that's why I saved it to last. Stop trying to prove your worth to somebody committed to misunderstanding you. Think about that. Some of you are still trying to win emotionally. So, you're still trying to show them I was loyal. I was loving. I was patient. I deserve better. You lost something amazing. And I'm sure they did. But listen, healthy love does not require a courtroom level defense presentation. A narcissist often keep people trapped because they make love feel like a constant audition. You keep thinking if I can just explain myself properly, behave perfectly, heal enough, stay calm enough, love enough, then maybe finally they will value enough. But your value was never ever the problem. The problem was giving somebody unlimited access to you while they benefited from making you question your worth.
By the way, just just quickly, if you're new here, my name is Brandon. I have over 1 million people that follow my daily insights on Instagram, Facebook, and here on YouTube. If you're finding this video helpful, I'd really appreciate if you like the video. Just click like and let me know what you found helpful in the comments and consider subscribing because I make new videos like this every single week.
Now, here is the part I really want to leave you with when it comes to this video. Narcissistic relationships train people to abandon themselves slowly. This is the real damage. Not just the manipulation, not just the lies they tell, or the cheating, or the the way they affect your self-worth. It's the way you slowly stop trusting your own mind. You know this, your own instincts, your own worth, your own your own reality. And healing is not becoming cold because there was never anything wrong with you. Healing is finally stopping the behavior that keeps you emotionally tied to somebody who survives through your emotional energy. Because honestly the narcissist does not need to physically be in your life to still emotionally control your nervous system. Oh, no. And some of you are still emotionally fighting battles with people who are not even in the room anymore. They've moved on. But for you it's still there. That's why this matters. This is not just about getting over somebody. This is way more important than that. This is about reclaiming your emotional focus. It's about taking back your life, changing your mindset, your peace, your identity, and your future. And one thing I've noticed about survivors who truly heal, who truly move on, they stop trying to win against the narcissist and start rebuilding themselves so deeply that the narcissist eventually becomes emotionally irrelevant to them. And that is strong. In my eyes, that's a win. That is power. It's not looking for revenge. It's not proving a point, not finally getting that apology that will never come. Stop looking for closure. It's emotional detachment. That's the thing narcissists fear most as well.
Now, if you found this video helpful, I'm going to put another one on the screen right now that I think you'll like. Check it out.