7 Weapons of Self-Destruction Every Christian Must Defeat | Pastor Rick

In Romans chapter 8, the Bible tells us that the Spirit of God living within you can give you the antidote to every one of these weapons. Now, before we even get into the text, I want you to write these seven things down. It's not on your outline, so you're just going to have to write it somewhere, scribble it over on the side. These are the seven weapons of self-destruction. You can talk to any psychologist and they'll tell you that these are the seven things that mess up people's lives more than anything else. And we're going to look at the cure for these weapons of self-destruction.

The first weapon of self-destruction is shame. Shame. You cannot be happy and feel ashamed at the same time. When you feel ashamed, when you feel guilty, when you feel regrets, that just robs all your happiness. God doesn't want you to walk around feeling guilty. God doesn't want you walking around feeling ashamed. God doesn't want you walking around with regrets. In fact, that's why he sent Jesus on the cross to die for all of your sins. But shame is the first, number one destroyer of happiness.

The second weapon of self-destruction is uncontrolled thoughts. If you don't learn how to control your thoughts, your thoughts will ruin your life because you say to stuff to yourself that causes unhappiness, causes grief, causes pressure. You must learn how to control your thoughts.

The third weapon of self-destruction is compulsions. Compulsions are those inner drives, inner desires. You can call them lusts, you can call them habits, you can call them impulses, but they're those things in your life you feel like, "I felt like I just had to do it." Even though you knew it was wrong, "I just had to do it." And those compulsions, you've got to learn how to deal with those and how to fight that weapon of self-destruction because if you do things by your compulsions, you'll mess up your life.

The fourth weapon of self-destruction is fear. And fear is an enormous destroyer of happiness, of potential, of God's purpose for your life. It will limit your life. You've got to learn how to master your fears.

The fifth weapon of self-destruction is hopelessness. Hopelessness keeps you from keeping on. When you start to feel hopeless about anything, you get discouraged and want to give up. If you feel hopeless about your marriage, if you feel hopeless about ever getting married, if you feel hopeless about your finances, or you feel hopeless about your health, hopelessness is a self-destructive weapon that you use on you. And when you turn it inward, it robs you of God's plan for your life.

Number six, bitterness is a huge weapon of self-destruction because life is unfair, and we don't all get the same thing, and life is broken, and we're stuck, and some people get better than you, and you get jealous, and you get envious, and some people hurt you. You can either get better or bitter. And bitterness is a cancer that will eat you alive, and it will, it's a poison that'll eat you on the inside. You never hurt other people with your bitterness like you hurt yourself. You always hurt you the most. It is a self-destructive emotion. There is no value to bitterness in your life. There's no value to holding on to a grudge. All it does is make you miserable.

And the seventh weapon of self-destruction is insecurity. You've got to deal with this one because if you don't learn how to deal with insecurity in your life, it's going to cause you to do foolish things. When you're insecure and you're trying to show everybody else that you're very confident, you'll say stupid things. You'll do stupid things. You'll pose. And the only people impressed by posers are other posers. Okay? Everybody sees through it. The only people who are impressed by fakes are other fakes. So, you know, when you're insecure, you can't hide it. You have to deal with it.

Now, the classic passage on dealing with these weapons of self-destruction is Romans 7 and Romans 8. Now, at the end of Romans 7, Paul says this. Look up here on the screen. He's outlined the battle going on inside himself and he says, "What a miserable person I am." Because I'm miserable. You know, as I said, all those things I want to do that I know are good, I end up not doing. And all those things that I don't want to do, I end up doing. And I'm really messing up my life. "What a miserable person I am. I've tried everything and nothing helps." He says, "Who will free me from this life dominated by sin?"

Now, he doesn't say, "What will free me?" Because the answer to you, the problem inside you, the mess ups in your life that you'd like to change, the answer is not a pill. It's not a program. It's not a book. It's not a tape. It's not a seminar. It's not hypnosis. The answer is a person. It is Jesus Christ and His Spirit inside you. And Romans 8 is the answer to Romans 7, that the Spirit of God inside you gives you the antidote to all seven of these negative emotions.

Now, what I want us to look at this weekend is, how can I be free from me? How can I be set free from me? And the way we're going to look at this is the truths of Romans 8. I have put them in a practical way of listing seven mental habits that you need to do that will help you apply the truth of Romans chapter 8. And so we're going to look at these seven mental habits that explain the great truths of Romans 8.

Romans 8 is the greatest chapter in the Bible. In my opinion, it's the greatest chapter. They once did a study of Bible scholars and said, "If you could only have one chapter of the Bible and you're on a desert island, which one would you take?" And about 90% of them said, "I'd take Romans 8." So, this is a very strong passage. You need to take a lot of notes today.

Number one, the first step in being set free from me is this: I must remind myself daily what Jesus did for me. That's the starting point. I've got to remind myself every day of what Jesus did for me. What is salvation? What are the benefits of it? You see, we have a lot of people who are saved who don't act like it. They run around all the time filled with shame and uncontrolled thoughts and compulsions and fear and bitterness and insecurity. And they're believers, but they're not set free from me. And the first step is you've got to remind yourself what Jesus actually did for you.

And this is how the Holy Spirit sets me free from shame. Let's look at these verses. Romans 8:1-4. First, he says, "So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Jesus Christ." Now, let me stop there before we go any further. No condemnation means God doesn't judge you for all the things you've done wrong. If you've trusted Christ, because Jesus took all that judgment on the cross. He doesn't have to judge you because Jesus was judged. He doesn't have to condemn you because Jesus took your condemnation. He took your wrath. He paid your penalty. He did your time for you.

Now, the Bible says that if I'm a believer and I belong to Christ, look at that verse. "There is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus." Circle the phrase "belong to Christ Jesus." This whole passage is talking about people who've given their life to Jesus. This doesn't apply to you if you haven't made that decision yet. But if you've received Christ into your life, the Bible says you're under no condemnation. That means God doesn't get mad at you when you sin. Did you hear that? God does not get mad at you when you sin if you belong to Jesus Christ because He's already taken the payment.

Now notice, it doesn't say that after I become a Christian, I won't sin. You're still going to sin. It doesn't say I'm not going to make mistakes. You're still going to make mistakes. It doesn't say I'm not going to fail and look stupid. You're going to fail and look stupid. It just says you're under no condemnation. In other words, you don't have to walk around with shame. You don't have to walk around with guilt. Because when Jesus Christ died on the cross, he not only paid for all of the sins you committed last week, last year, and your entire life. He committed. He's already paid for the sins that you're going to commit tomorrow, next week, and the rest of your life. They're already paid for. That's good news.

>> That is good news. No condemnation. That means there is no reason for a Christian to walk around in shame because I stop and I remind myself, Jesus paid for all of my sins. He already knew before I was born every sin I was going to do and He paid for it.

Now the next part of that verse says, "For the power of the life-giving Spirit," that's the Holy Spirit, God's Spirit, "has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death."

Now, what does that verse mean? The second thing I remember is that because I'm a believer and I have Jesus, I have a new power in my life greater than willpower. You see, before you became a Christian, the only thing you had to use against your bad habits was sheer willpower. And how long does that work? Not very long. He says, "Now there's a new power in you." Unfortunately, a lot of Christians are still simply relying on willpower to change. They've never figured out how to connect into spiritual power, into the power of the Holy Spirit, into the power of Jesus inside you. He says, "There's a new power in you. There's a new sheriff in town." And when you want to change things in your life, it's not just "if it's to be, it's up to me." It's not just my own willpower. It is God's power in me. I have been given a power greater than willpower. We're going to look at this more in the next verses.

Then the next thing it says, "The law of Moses could not save us because of our sinful nature." Now, laws, keeping God's laws cannot save you. Guy says, "Well, I know I'm going to heaven." You say, "How do you know?" He says, "Cuz I keep the Ten Commandments." I say, "Name them." [clears throat] You don't not only not keep the Ten Commandments, you couldn't even name all of them. If I asked you to stand up right now, you couldn't even. How can you keep them if you don't even know them all? By the way, keeping laws never works. Why? It says because of our sinful nature. Laws simply work on outside behavior. They don't work on inside change. They don't change you on the inside.

For instance, if I were to bring a pig out here, a big sow that had been rolling around in the mud and the dirt and eating garbage and it stinks to high heaven, and say, "What is this?" You'd say, "It's a pig." Now, I take that pig backstage and I run it through a couple of car washes. And then I put it in a bathtub and I have bath salts and perfumed soap suds and I get it all cleaned up and I brush the pig's teeth and I sprinkle some fufu juice on it, you know, some Chanel No. 5, you know, that would be appropriate for a pig. Okay? And I rub it down with Oil of Olay so its skin is just silky, silky soft. And then I tie a ribbon around its neck and I put a bonnet on it and I put some eyeshadow and fake eyelashes on this pig and I put a dress on it and I put some lipstick on this pig and I bring this pig out and I say, "Now, what is it?"

>> Still a pig. Okay, you may have spiffed up the outside, but the nature has remained unchanged. And this is what happens with self-help programs is that we spiff up the outside and we by sheer willpower say, "I'm going to take a bath. I'm going to get on some new clothes. I'm going to change my behavior." And all the outside looks different, but inside it's still the same nature. If you're going to have radical change, transforming change in your life, it's got to change your nature. And only God can do that. No self-help program can change your heart.

Which, by the way, is why I'm not a politician. If I have zero faith in politics or laws to change human behavior. Why? Because it's just fixing the outside. You can pass a law that says nobody will be a bigot or a racist. Is that going to change anybody's heart? No. Only Jesus can change that heart. And I have seen people come to Christ and they change from a racist into a compassionate person and from a bigot into a loving person. Only Jesus can change that. If I thought you could change human behavior by laws, I'd be a politician. But there's no track record that it actually changes people. Only God can change the inside.

Which, by the way, is why we don't spend so much time promoting all political laws. You know, there are some Christians who think they're going to make the world a better place just by creating a law. Well, people just break it. I mean, they want a law against this sin and a law against this sin and a law against this sin and a law against this sin and a law against this sin and a law against this sin and they think that's going to change people. No, people just going to break the law. You do. God has given all kinds of laws in His word and you don't obey those and you break them all the time. See, one of the things we know here at Saddleback is you don't expect somebody to act like a believer until he is one, 'cause he doesn't have the power to change. He doesn't have the ability to change. So passing a law that says everybody's going to be moral or everybody's going to do this, that doesn't change. That's cleaning up the pig. It doesn't change our nature.

God put into effect. Notice here. So God knew that laws couldn't save us. But God put into effect a different plan to save us. He sent His own Son in a human body like ours, except that ours is sinful. And God destroyed sin's control over us by giving His Son as a sacrifice for our sins. In other words, He gave us the power to make those changes, to forgive us and to change us. And then it said, He did this. Jesus died on the cross so that the requirement of the law would be fully accomplished for us. Circle the phrase "for us." What is He saying there? That Jesus not only paid for all your sins, He did all the right things for you. Those of us who no longer follow our sinful nature, but instead follow the Spirit.

Now, if you really are serious about changing your life for the better, you've got to start where God tells you to start. And God says you don't start with your behavior, your actions. And you don't start with your feelings, your emotions. You start with your mind. The battle for you to be set free from me starts in changing your mind. "Be renewed. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." The Bible teaches very clearly that the way we act is determined by the way we feel, and the way we feel is determined by the way we think.

For instance, if I'm acting depressed, it's because I feel depressed. And if I'm feeling depressed, it's because I'm thinking depressed thoughts. And if I want to get over my depression, I don't force myself to change my behavior. That doesn't work. And I don't force myself to change my feelings. You can't change a feeling. You cannot force a feeling. A guy says, "You know, I don't love my wife anymore." So, how do I say, "Well, okay. What are you going to do about it?" "Well, I'm just going to force myself to feel that I love her." How will that work? It doesn't work. You can't force a feeling. It's like telling a crying kid, "Now I command you to be happy." "I'm trying, Daddy. I'm trying." You cannot force a feeling. In fact, when you try to force a feeling, everybody knows you're faking it. You can't force a feeling. You can't fight that feeling anymore. [laughter] If you laughed at that, you're really old. Okay? You are really, really old. Okay? Now, [snorts] uh, what you do is you change the way you think. And if you change the way you think, that's going to change the way you feel, and it will change the way you act.

So, if you say, "You know, I don't have any feelings for my wife anymore." You can act your way into a feeling, and you can think your way into a feeling, but you can't feel your way into a feeling. If you start acting loving toward your wife and you start thinking loving thoughts toward your wife, I'm going to tell you what, the feelings will come back. They will return. You act your way into a feeling and you think your way into a feeling, but you don't feel your way into feeling.

Now, the good thing about this is that now that you're a Christian, you have the Holy Spirit inside of you. And so, you can ask Him to help you put good thoughts in your mind. So, now you're not just on your own. You're not just out here trying to think up stuff by yourself on what would be a good thing for me to think about. You can say, "Holy Spirit, put good thoughts in my mind." That's the second thing we learn from Romans 8. Write this down.

Number two, the second mental habit to defeat the weapons of self-destruction is: I ask the Holy Spirit to give me better thoughts. I ask the Holy Spirit to give me better thoughts. And if you ask Him to give you better thoughts, do you think He will? Of course He will. Of course He's going to give you better thoughts. That's a prayer He's going to answer. I asked the Holy Spirit to give me better thoughts. This is the second key to permanent change in your life.

Now, this is what it says in the next two verses, verses 5 and 6 of Romans 8. "Those who live according to the sinful nature have their mindset on what that nature desires. But those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their mindset on what the Spirit desires." Now, there are two kinds of mindsets. Circle "mindsets." There's the mindset of your old nature, and there's the mindset of the Holy Spirit. There's the mindset of the way I normally think about my life, and there's the mindset of how the Spirit sees my life. Which one's going to be true? The one that the Spirit says.

So, I have to choose between these mindsets. Am I going to set my mind on the way I normally think about my life, or am I going to set my mind on the way God thinks about my life? Now, there's a big difference in choosing these mindsets because if you choose one, you're going to get one response, and if you choose the other, you're going to get another. And the next part of the verse tells us what that is. "The mind of sinful man is what?" That means it's self-destructive. Thoughts that you come up with yourself are going to tend to be self-destructive. "The mind of sinful man is death." But "the mind controlled by the Spirit is what?" Life and peace. Okay, I don't normally do this, but how many of you would like to have life and peace this summer? Yeah, me too. I would like to have life and peace this summer. And it's all about the mindset you choose. The economy may not change. It probably won't. Your problems probably won't change, those ones that are persistent. But your mindset can change. And that's the difference between a life of self-destruction or a life of life and peace.

Now, this is the Holy Spirit's answer to uncontrolled thoughts. What I do is I ask the Holy Spirit to give me better thoughts. And this is the principle of replacement. I want you to write this word down: replacement. The principle of replacement is anytime you want to change something in your life and you're serious about changing it, you don't resist it, you replace it. When you've got something negative in your life, you don't resist it, you replace it. You say, "I want to stop smoking." You don't smoke, go, "I want to stop smoking. I want to stop smoking. I want to stop smoking." You know, it's like Frog and Toad together, that story we read last week. "I don't want to eat a cookie," and I just ate one. "I don't want to eat a cookie," and I just ate one. "I don't want to eat a cookie." No. Because the whole time you're focusing on what you don't want, and whatever you focus on gets your attention. Whatever gets your attention gets you. That's why if you want to break any bad habit in your life, the key is not to resist it but to refocus. Whatever you resist persists because you keep focusing on it.

Now, it's like if I'm flipping TV channels and all of a sudden there's something on TV that I don't really want to watch or shouldn't watch. I don't sit there and go, "I don't want to watch it. I don't want to watch it. I don't want to watch it." I just flip the channel. I replace it. And the moment I replace it, it's gone. It has no grip on me anymore. So, I mean, if you're standing in an airport bookstore and they've got all these girly magazines and you're standing in front of you, say, "I don't want to look at them. I don't want to look at them." What do you do? Well, you don't stand there. You walk away. You okay? You slam the door. If you want to avoid getting stung by bees, you just get away from them. And you replace it with something else.

Now, let's say I had a big, fat, juicy donut sitting right here. Okay? I mean, and it's hot and the glaze is just kind of dripping off the side. Now, if it's sitting here, I don't go, "I don't want that donut. I really, really..." I'm just smelling it. [snorts] Oh, baby. Oh, baby. That yeasty smell. Mmm. Oh, wow. Yeah. No, what do I do? I just look over at you guys. And the moment I see you guys, I've lost it. It's lost its grip on me because my attention has changed. Now, as long as I resist the donut, it doesn't work. But the moment I refocus on something else, I don't even think about it anymore. Does that make sense? Okay.

So, I ask the Holy Spirit to give me better thoughts to replace the negative ones in my mind. Now, you choose what you dwell on. Satan gives you ideas. Those are called temptations. Holy Spirit gives you ideas. Those are called inspiration. You get ideas. But the truth is you choose what you focus on. But now that you're a believer, you have a helper. And you can say, "Holy Spirit, I invite you to give me your ideas." And a lot of times the Holy Spirit, God's Spirit, will say to me, "Hey, Rick, why don't you think about this instead?" Good idea, and I just change my thoughts.

Now, I would encourage you to invite the Holy Spirit to have free access to your mind. You say, "God, you have put Your Spirit inside of me. I give You free access to my mind 24 hours a day. I invite You to suggest good thoughts." Why? Because they'll always be the truth. They'll always be right. They'll always be helpful. They'll always be pure. Those are the things we are to think on. So you invite the Holy Spirit to put thoughts in your mind. Why? Because those who live according to sinful nature have their mind set on one thing. But those who live according to the Spirit have their mind set on another. And the mindset that I normally have leads to self-destruction. And the mindset that God's Spirit gives me leads to peace. And I want peace in my life.

So, and that's why I said, you know, earlier, we don't expect unbelievers to act like believers until they are. They don't have the power. Look at the next verse. "The sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. It can't even do it. Those controlled by sinful nature cannot please God." So, why do you work on passing a law when they don't have the ability to change it? To change. Only God can change us. Change comes from the inside out.

Third principle, third mental habit you're going to need to develop to apply the truths of Romans 8 in your life. And that is this: I realize I have a new ability to say no. I need to remind myself. I need to remember on a daily basis. I need to realize that now that I'm a believer, I have a new ability to say no to the things that are self-destructive in my life. Now, this is very important because before you became a believer, all you had was willpower, and you lost most of those bad habits because willpower wears out. It's not enough. But now with the Spirit in your life, you have a new ability to say no, a new power. And you need to learn how to tap into that power.

I don't know about you, but I can admit pretty honestly that before I had the Holy Spirit in my life, there were some things I just couldn't say no to. I didn't have the ability to say no to them. Now, you can call them compulsions. You can call them habits. You can call them urges. You can call them lusts. You can call them impulses. You can call them your old nature. But the truth is there were some things in my life I just couldn't say no to. I had no ability to say no because I didn't have. I all I had was willpower. Now, now I have God's power, and He gives me the ability to say no.

Look at this verse up here on the screen. Galatians 5:16 says this: "Let the Spirit direct your lives, and you will not satisfy the desires of the old human nature." Now, if I let the Spirit live through me, does it say I won't have those desires? Did is that what it said? No. It says I won't what? I won't satisfy those desires. I won't satisfy those desires. In other words, do I still have the same desires I had before I was a Christian? Yes. Do I still have the same temptations? Yes. Do I still have the same urges and compulsions? Yes. Do I fulfill them? No. Why? Because I have a new power inside of me. And it's not just willpower anymore.

Now, I've heard people say, "But why should I limit any desire in my life that seems natural? Why should I rein it in if it seems if it's a natural desire?" Friends, not everything natural is good for you. I mean, I might naturally want to punch you in the nose. That doesn't mean I should do it. I have a lot of natural desires that I need to not fulfill. For instance, sometimes I have a natural desire to cuss people out on the freeway. Does it mean I should just do it? No. Just because it's natural doesn't mean it's good. Arsenic is natural, but you drink it and it'll kill you. A lot of natural things are poison. So, just because it says natural doesn't mean it's good. There are things in my old nature that are very natural for me to do, but they're self-destructive. I mean, people say, "Well, I, if I feel this way, why shouldn't I give into it?" Because that's called maturity. Maturity is when you do the right thing, not what you feel like doing. Because what you feel like doing isn't always the best for you, the best for somebody else, God's will, or whatever. If everybody just did what they naturally feel like doing, nobody'd go to work tomorrow morning. Nobody would go to work. If everybody did what they naturally feel like doing, you know, every girl would be pregnant long before she got married. You've got to realize that I have a new ability to say no.

Now, this is the good news of Romans chapter 8. Look at the next verse. Verse 9. "But he says, 'You are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are now controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you.'" Now, anybody who does not have the Spirit of God living in them does not belong to Christ.

Now, let me stop here and explain this. Some people mistakenly think that you get God kind of piecemeal. That Jesus comes into your life at one point in your life, and then maybe a little bit later the Holy Spirit comes into your life, and then maybe a little bit later you get the Father into your life. No, God is a Trinity, three in one. When you got Jesus, you got all of God. God doesn't come into your life piecemeal. When Jesus comes into your life, the Spirit comes into your life. When Jesus comes into your life, the Father comes into your life. When the Father comes into your life, the Spirit and Jesus come into your life. You can't separate them. You can't divide them up like a piece of pie. So the moment you gave your life to Christ, Jesus Christ put His Spirit in your life, His Spirit. The Spirit of God, the Spirit of the Father, the Spirit of Jesus. It is the Holy Spirit. So you don't get God a little bit at a time. Does that make sense? Okay. God, the Holy Spirit doesn't come in at a later point. He comes in, and you get all of God when you give your life to Christ.

Now the question is, does He have all of you? And the rest of your life, you're going to be giving more and more of your life to Him. And then the more you give, the more power you have. But He says because I have this, I now have a new ability to say no. Look at the next verse. "So dear brothers, you have no obligation anymore to your old sinful nature to do what it begs you to do." This is how God sets me free from my compulsions. Before, when I have felt compelled to do something, compelled to do something, I didn't have anything except willpower to stop myself. Now I've got a new power inside me, and I don't have any obligation anymore to listen to my old nature.

Now, I've heard people tell me, I can't tell you how many people who've had an affair, committed adultery, who told me, "I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't help myself. I just had to do it. I just felt compelled to do it." Well, now you have a new help to stop you. And when somebody says, "I'm a Christian, but I couldn't stop myself," they're lying. They are lying because they simply didn't call on the power that was there available to them, and they didn't rely on the Holy Spirit in that moment of temptation. Compulsions. You know, you can ruin an entire life with one second of compulsion. Just go ask a bunch of the politicians who had scandals this last year. Spent decades building a reputation and in a moment of compulsion lost it all. Stupid, stupid, stupid. But I have a new power, a new ability to say no.

Number four, the fourth mental habit I need to develop if I want to change my life is: I need to turn my thoughts to God whenever I'm afraid. That's the fourth antidote to these weapons of self-destruction. I remind myself every day what Jesus did for me. I ask the Holy Spirit to give me better thoughts. I realize I now have a new ability to say no. And then I turn my thoughts to God whenever I'm afraid. Whenever I'm afraid.

And this is how God's Spirit sets me free from me with the attitude of fear. Romans 8. Look at the next verses. Verses 14 to 16. "For the Spirit God gives you does not make you slaves and cause you to be afraid. Instead, the Spirit makes you God's children. And by the Spirit's power, we cry out to God, 'Father, my Father.'" This is actually the Aramaic word Abba. Abba is not the group. It means daddy, papa. You know, it's da. It's the most basic intimate form of father. Daddy, daddy, my daddy. We cry out to God. Daddy, my daddy. Papa, my papa. Abba, my Abba. God's Spirit joins himself to our spirits to declare that we are God's children.

Now, when I was a kid, I wasn't very fearful at all. I really had almost no fears as a child and was pretty reckless and had a lot of fun growing up. But sometimes as a young child at night, if I heard something that was kind of scary and I was afraid, I would always cry out to my father. I'd say, "Daddy, daddy." And he could hear me from my room in our house, and my dad would come and see me. Now, when I was afraid, I never called out for my mom. And the reason why is I knew my dad was stronger. Now, my dad wasn't a big guy, but he was very strong because he was a hard worker. And I knew he could take on anybody. And so, I'd say, "Daddy," whenever I was afraid, I would cry out to Daddy.

This is exactly what God tells you to do when you're afraid. Stop focusing on your fear. Start focusing on your Father. That's the antidote. Stop focusing on your fear. Start focusing on your Father. Now, He says the antidote to fear is two things. First, He says the Spirit that God has given you doesn't make you slaves, make you afraid, but He makes you God's children. Whenever you are afraid, the first thing you need to do is remember this: whose family you're a part of. I'm a son of God. I'm a daughter of God. I'm a child of God. I'm in the family. And families take care of each other. And there's family protection.

Now, let's say you grew up in Chicago or New York City and your family was a part of the family, okay? The mafia family, okay? And you're walking down the street as a kid, okay? And somebody starts to assault you and you stop, "Oh, wait just a minute. Do you know who I am? Do you know who I am? My father is Guido. And Guido works for Bruno. And Bruno is the capo de capo de capo de capo. He will make you an offer you can't refuse. Are you sure you want to touch me because I'm in the family?" And the guy says, "Well, on second thought, you can have your money back because the family protects you."

Now, when you start to be afraid, God says, "The first thing you say, wait a minute. Do you know who my Father is? My Father is the Creator of the universe. My Father is God. I'm a child of God. I'm in the family. God takes care of His kids." And then I cry out to Father, "Father, would You take care of this fear for me? Will You handle this one for me?" And my Heavenly Father says, "Of course I'll handle it for you. Go back to sleep. You don't have to worry about it. I'll take care of you." When you're afraid, you remember whose family you're in. You're a child of God. You're not a slave. You're a child of God, and He's going to take care of you.

And second, you call out to your Father. Now, what are you most afraid of? What are you most afraid of these days? Um, you know, the number one fear people have, I know all the studies. People say it's the fear of speaking in front of others. It's the fear of heights, or, you know, the fear of new social situations. Actually, what I've found as a pastor talking to people for 30 years, the number one fear people have is the fear of being out of control. And when you feel your life is out of control, it creates enormous fear in your life. And the longer you feel it's out of control, you start thinking, "I'm out of control." And then you start thinking, "Maybe I'm losing my mind." And you start fearing, "Maybe I'm going crazy. Maybe I'm going insane." You've all felt this at different times in your life. So, don't act like you're so self-righteous, everybody. "I think I'm losing my mind. I think I'm going crazy. I'm afraid I'm going nuts."

Now, let me just put you at ease. You're not going crazy because crazy people don't fear that. Crazy people are very happy to be crazy and don't care. The very fact that you are afraid you're going crazy means you're rational. So you're not crazy, you're not going crazy. The fear that you're going crazy shows that you're very, very rational. Crazy people aren't afraid of being crazy. So I want everybody to say this: "I'm broken, but I'm not crazy." Okay, let's say it aloud together. "I'm broken, but I'm not crazy." Let's say it again. "I'm broken, but I'm not crazy." Now, some of you are afraid to say it, so let's say it again. Okay, ready? "I'm broken, but I'm not crazy." Everybody's broken. I'm broken. You're broken. The person sitting next to you is broken. We all. Nothing is perfect in this world, but you're not crazy.

Now, the Bible says that we should not be afraid, but we turn to God. I remember one time in Northern California, it's the year I got married, at the end of the year that I got married, 36 years ago, my health broke, and I was began to develop a fear that it's never going to go away. That my life is over. Shoot, my life hadn't even started. Hadn't even started. But I was afraid this is the end of my life. I'm never going to amount to anything. Nothing's going to happen to my life. God isn't going to use me. I'm going to be an invalid my entire life, and on and on and on. And I was filled with these fears. And so we took a month off from work. And Kay and I went to Northern California where my parents lived out in the country in the redwoods. And while we were there, one day I got up in the morning and I was so depressed because these fears were just clawing at my mind all the time. And the phone rang, and my mom picked it up, and she handed it to Kay, and the man said, "Is this where Rick Warren is staying?" And they said, "Yes. Can I talk to him?" She said, "Yes." She hands me the phone. This guy says, "Rick, we've never met. I don't know you. You don't know me. I'm calling from San Diego, but I heard that you were going through a tough time. And I just want to give you a verse, and it is this: God, it's 2 Timothy 1:7. God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power and love and self-control." And he hung up. That verse changed my life.

Here it is on the screen. "For the Spirit that God has given us does not make us fearful or timid. Instead, His Spirit fills us with power, love, and self-control." Now, get this. The more controlled you are by the Holy Spirit, the more self-control you've got to have. You're going to have. You're going to have. Now, get this. A lot of people are afraid of the Holy Spirit. It's like, "I don't want to be filled with the Spirit. Filled with the Spirit, that'll turn me into some nut. I'm going to be some religious fanatic. I'm going to be like some of those people on TV saying, 'Baby, you know, out foul spirit of nicotine,' you know, and I'm going to be falling over backwards and I'm going to be, you know, I'm going to lose control." Actually, it's the exact opposite. The more you have of the Holy Spirit, the more self-controlled you are. In fact, God does not give us, it says, a spirit of fear. So, if you are afraid, that's not from God. That fear is not from God. When God's Spirit comes into your life, you're filled with love. I want that. You're filled with power. I want that. You're filled with self-control. I want that. Okay, Holy Spirit, I want all You've got. Fill me. It doesn't make me some nutcase. It makes me more human. It makes me more natural. It makes me more loving. Makes me more in self-control. Mastered by the Master. I can master anything. Throw it at me. I can handle it. Why? Because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So the Spirit in me doesn't make me a lunatic or religious nut. To be filled with the Spirit makes me more self-controlled. And believe me, brother, you need more self-control. The more Spirit-controlled I am, the more self-controlled I am.

Number five, three more. Let's move these real quickly. The fifth thing we learn from Romans 8 is about the antidote to hopelessness. And that's verses 17 and 18. And the habit I want you to learn to develop is to focus on the long term, not the short term. Focus on the long term, not the short term. You know, there's a very famous study done by Harvard University, very, very famous study, that found out that figured out that the more long-term your thinking is, the more successful you're going to be in life. The shorter term your thinking is, the more failure you're going to be in life. People who fail at life have short-term thinking. They're only thinking about today. They're only thinking about here and now. They're only thinking about what feels good to me right now. But the longer term you think, the more successful you'll be in life. In fact, the longest-term thinkers are those who are most successful in life.

Now, as a Christian, we can win this one hands down because when we think in terms of long-term thinking, we call it eternity. Because we're not just thinking about life here on this earth. We're not thinking about 40, 50 years ahead. We're thinking about trillions and trillions and trillions of years ahead. And living in light of eternity is the key to being the most successful you could possibly be. Thinking in long term.

Now, when you think in long term, you're able to handle short-term pain a whole lot better. You're able to handle short-term losses, short-term failures, short-term hindrances because you're thinking long term. Here at Saddleback, we went 15 years without a building. A lot of pastors would have given up not having a building for 15 years. Saddleback grew over 10,000 people before we built this building. But it didn't bother me because I was thinking long term. I've been spending my entire life as a pastor of one church. So 15 years. So what? That's just 15 years. I was thinking long term. And while you're thinking about today and this week for your life, as your pastor who loves you, I'm always thinking ahead for your life. I'm thinking about what are you going to be at the end of the year? What are you going to be at the end of five years? What are you going to be at the end of 10 years? It's called Decade of Destiny. And that's why I'm thinking about how to help you become all God wants you to be. I'm doing some long-term thinking for your life and going, "Where do I need to take you so that you'll be what you want to be and what God wants you to be in 10 years?" Most people aren't thinking that. The whole society teaches you to think short term. And we'll look at that when we get to the world.

Now, Romans chapter 8, uh, 17 and 18 talks about focusing on the long term. And it talks about the promises of God. The next few verses. "Since we are His children, we will possess." Circle the word "will." That's a promise. That's in the future. It's not now. It doesn't say we do possess. We will. It's long term. "Since we are His children, we will possess the blessings He keeps for His family. And we will also possess, this is really cool, we will also possess with Christ what God has kept for Him." Did you know that the Bible says that when you get to heaven, you're going to get rewarded? You will be rewarded for how well you did with what you were given. What did you do with your time? What did you do with your money? What did you do with your influence? What did you do with your talents? Your time, your talents, your treasure. This is called the stewardship of life. And God has put stuff in your hands, and you're a steward.

of it. You're going to be uh evaluated on that in heaven. And your rewards will be based on that. And you're going to be rewarded.

But not only that, the Bible says you're going to be rewarded not just for how well a steward you were. You're going to be rewarded for what Jesus did. Did you know that? Look at that verse again. It says, "And also we will possess with Christ what God has kept for him." Did you know that the Bible says that in heaven we are going to co-raign with Christ? We're going to be hes from the father. We're going to co-raign with Christ. The easiest way for me to explain that is imagine in heaven this giant theater sign like a big Vegas sign that's flashing that says now starring for eternity Jesus Christ co-starring your name. That's what it means to share in Christ's glory. You're going to do that in heaven. So you need to focus not on your little pity petty pain right now, but on the long-term benefits of doing the right thing and sharing in glory forever.

Notice it says the rest of that verse, for if we share Christ's suffering, we will also share his glory. I consider that what we suffer at this present time cannot be compared. In other words, the small potatoes with all the glory that is going to be revealed in us. to us. He's saying, "Yeah, you know what? It's not always easy living for Christ. It's not always easy doing the right thing. It's not always easy making the moral decision, but the benefit long term is going to far outlast the pain. You need to focus long term, not short term."

Number six, the sixth habit is to remind myself that God is good and in control. This is an application of what the Bible teaches in Romans uh chapter 8. This is how God sets us free from the self-destructive weapon of bitterness. Remind myself that God is good and in control. and you are mean to remind yourself of that over and over and over and over and over every single day.

Now, I don't have time to get into this, but in verses 19 to 25 of Romans chapter 8, Paul describes how sin has damaged the world. If I got into this, the sermon would be twice as long. We don't have time to get into it. So, let me just summarize. In verses 19 to 25, Paul says, "Everything in the world is broken." Everything in the world has lost its original purpose. Everything in the world is suffering. Everything in the world is in pain. And everything in the world is frustrated because sin broke it all down. Everything is frustrated. In fact, look at this verse on the screen. Verse 20. Everything created is subject to frustration. Waiting to be liberated, set free from me. waiting to be liberated from its bondage to decay. All of creation groans in pain like childbirth. And we groan inwardly. We're going, "Oh man, this is tough. This is hard. This is difficult. Why is life so hard?" Says the environment is groaning. I I think earthquakes and I think, you know, uh hurricanes and I think all the wacky weather. Is the Is the environment groaning cuz it's broken? and we groan in pain because relationships are broken. And later you're going to find out that the Holy Spirit groans in pain for you. There are three groans in this chapter.

Now he says that the result of living in a broken world is pain. And the result of pain is bitterness. And that's a self-destructive weapon. When I look out and I go, he's got a nicer house than I do. She's got a better job than I do. How come her kids are like that? How come my and you start comparing and you start getting envious and you start getting jealous and then people hurt you and you get bitter and you get uh uh uh grudges and you get resentful. That's a pain that's going to eat you up. You got to learn how to deal with that weapon of self-destruction. And the way you do it is remind yourself that God is good and in control. That God is good is in control.

The result of living in a broken world is pain. And the result of pain is bitterness. And as a result, we get bitter inside and we start getting resentful and we say life is unfair. Well, yeah, what else is new? Life is unfair. It's cuz it's broken. But the Bible says in Romans 8 that there are four things you need to remember to get over bitterness. Now listen, pain in your life is not optional, but misery is. Pain in your life is not. You're going to have pain in your life. It's called life. Suffering in your life is not optional. You're going to suffer. Misery is moaning is opt optional. Bitterness is optional. And you overcome bitterness by remembering four magnificent truths.

In Romans 8 verse 26 and 27 says this, the Holy Spirit is praying for me. You write that down. The Holy Spirit is praying for me. That helps me overcome bitterness because no matter what I'm going through, I know God's on my side. He's praying for me. It says here, "The Spirit helps us with our weakness." And we don't know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit himself speaks to God for us. Did you see that? God's praying to himself. He's talking to himself about you. You said, "How does God talk to himself?" Oh, you don't ever do that. You talk to yourself all the time. When God talks to himself about you, that's called prayer. Okay? The spirit of God, it says, prays for us and even begs God for us with deep feelings that words cannot explain. God sees what's in our hearts and the spirit speaks to God for his people in the way that God wants. So when you're no matter what you're going through, the first thing he goes, you know what? Right now, the Holy Spirit is praying for me. That's cool.

Second thing, God is using it all for good. That's the second thing I write remember. God is using everything in my life for good. It's not all good, but he's using it all for good. The next verse says this. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who've been called according to his purpose. It's not all good, but God is using it all for good. God is greater than my problems. God is greater than my enemies. God is greater than my critics. And God is using it all for good in my life.

Number three, God wants me to succeed. Did you know that? Did you know that God wants you to succeed? He doesn't want you to fail in your life. He wants you to succeed in your life. God is not against you. If you're a Christian, if you're a believer, God is for you. The Bible says in verse 31, "So what can we say against such wonderful things?" About such wonderful things, all the stuff we've talked about, what do we say about all these wonderful things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Remember, I'm in the family. My father is God. And so God is wants me to succeed.

And finally, number four, God will give me what I need. When I'm feeling blue and when I'm feeling bitter, I need to remind myself that God is good. He's in control. His spirit is praying for me. He's using everything for good in my life. He wants me to succeed, and he's going to give me what I need. Verse 32. Since God did not spare even his own son, but gave him up for us all, won't God give us won't God who gave us Christ give us everything else? Wow. He said, "If God loved you enough to let Jesus die on the cross for you, don't you think he loves you enough to help you with your debt? Don't you think he cares enough to help you with your health? Don't you think he cares about you when your face breaks out? There is nothing in your life that God doesn't care about. I threw that one in because it seems so ridiculous. There is nothing in your life that God doesn't care about. You got an upset upset tummy, God cares about it. He knows every hair on your head. God will give me what I need. If God didn't spare his son to solve my biggest problem, everything else is small potatoes. It's all minor to him. There is no big problem in your life. They're all small problems to God.

Now, finally, we come to the last habit you need to develop. These are all mental habits. You need to take this home, write it down, put it on your windshield of uh yeah, windshield. So, you can't see it, right? [laughter] Put it on your mirror in your in your bathroom, put it on your refrigerator, put it on your visor in your car. So every day you can remind yourself to practice these seven habits that defeat the habits of selfdestruction. And the seventh habit destroys the seventh enemy which is insecurity.

Now the fact is when you feel insecure it really messes up your life. And the worst fear that we have in insecurity is the rejection. Many of you have experienced rejection. You have felt it from your parents. Why can't you be like your sister or your brother? You felt rejected by kids on the playground and they made fun of you and they made made up names. You felt rejected by a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Maybe you've been rejected by a spouse. And nothing hurts more than rejection. But one thing I can tell you this is God's never going to reject you. And the seventh habit is this. Trust that God will never stop loving me. Trust that God will never never stop loving me. I'm in the family. He cannot not love his family. He will never stop loving me.

Romans 8:38-39 in the chapter. Now, I'm convinced that nothing ever can ever separate us from his love. Death can't. Life can't. The angels can't. Demons can't. Satan can't separate you from God. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away. Whether we're high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. I may lose a lot of things in life, but I'll never lose my salvation. You can't lose it because nothing once you're in God's hand, he's not letting go of you. You may want to let go, but he's not letting go of you. You cannot lose your salvation.

Now, my question is this. Do you belong to Christ? Because none of these things are true in your life unless you belong to Christ. Do you have the Holy Spirit in your life? You say, "Well, I don't know." Well, let's make certain of it right now. Let's bow our heads. And I'm going to pray a prayer as we close. And I'm going to ask you to pray it. Say this in your heart.

Dear Jesus Christ, thank you for all that you did for me. Thank you that there's no condemnation in my life for all the sin I've done. You took that condemnation. Thank you that you did what the law couldn't do. Thank you that you destroyed sin's control. Thank you that you accomplished the law in my life and my righteousness is nothing but your righteousness is what ticket I get into heaven on. Help me to never forget what you did for me. And when I feel ashamed, let me remember what you did on the cross for me.

Holy Spirit, I ask you to give me better thoughts. I want to switch mindsets. I don't want the mindset of self-destruction. I want the mindset of life and peace. I don't want to think my old ways. I want to think your new ways. I invite you to put thoughts in my mind all the time for they are the truth. And help me to remember and realize that I have a new ability to say no. Lord, I used to just have willpower, but now I've got spirit power. I'm not obligated to give into those compulsions anymore. That if I ask you for help, you'll help me and give me the strength to say no. Thank you. That no temptation is too strong. And when I'm afraid, help me to turn my thoughts to you. Help me to remember that I'm your child and help me to cry out to you, Father. Daddy, I'm afraid to focus on my father, not my fears. And help me to focus on the long term, not the short term. You know the pain in my life. You know the suffering. I want you to use it for good. And I want you to use it for your glory. And I want to look and focus longterm on eternity, not just the here and now. I want to do the right thing, not the easy thing. And when I start to get bitter and I feel life is unfair and when I feel hurt, help me to remember that you, God, are good and you're in control. That you are praying for me. Thank you for doing that. That you are working all things for good. Thank you for doing that. That you are for me, not against me. Thank you for that. and that you didn't spare Jesus and so you'll give us whatever we need. Thank you for that. Most of all, I thank you that you will never let go of me. You'll never