Femme Fatale 2025 - Module 8 (Q&A)

[Music] [Music] she emerged from within me like a goddess from water. she filled her lungs with new air with a sigh that meant everything: relief, rebirth, release. she took in the world around her with an understanding of its fragility and strength. she let the waters of her past run down her face. she took on a new name. she took on a new way. she became whole. she lives in me. she saved me. she is me. come.

[Music] [Music] hello gorgeous goddesses and welcome to the first Q&A of the program. we have some beautiful questions on the thread today. I look forward to diving in, but I wanted to share something with you. so I love this program for so many different reasons, and in the way that I believe in mentorship and coaching, for me, it's not just about learning. it's about training. training for things. it's about really becoming more during certain conversations, like having something be a part of your life and taking on a context for your life. and so whenever I take on the femme fatale context for my life, I always feel the most magical things happen. it puts me in a state of receiving. it allows me to see life even more beautiful than ever. it really sets a context that, like, a heightened, beautiful context for my life. and the deeper we go into the program, the softer and softer and the more effects that I feel in my own life. and it's why I love doing it every year because it's not just about what you learn, it's about how you train. and so I feel like this goddess training is such an important piece of our lives.

and so this weekend, we had Kevin's niece come over with her new boyfriend. and I remember the first time I ever met Claire. she was a very, uh, intelligent, free-spirited little girl. and, you know, I was 25 years old and Kevin was 36 years old. and he invited me over to his family. and both his siblings are older than him. they already have kids. and so let's, let's see, how old would Claire have been when I met her?

[Music] um, maybe eight, seven or eight years old. and I just remember thinking she was so adorable and so cute and so funny. and, you know, I was able to be like a, a friend, an ally, a big sister, um, throughout her journey of her life. and, you know, a few times a year, we were able to spend quality time together. and now she's the grown woman. she goes to college in Montreal. and she comes and spends time with Kevin and I sometimes. and we take good care of her when she's here. and she just has a soft space to land. and we got to meet her new boyfriend. and she started playing the guitar. and I just had this weekend of softness where I just, I, I got present to how much time had passed. seeing her, her mature face and her, the way that she's interacting with this, this boy, this man who's now her, her person. and, you know, offering her a cocktail. and she's playing the guitar. and I'm just seeing how life has unfolded without, in a blink. like it was 5 seconds ago, she was a little kid. and now she's, she's in love. and she's playing the guitar. and she's telling me about her dreams. and it just reminded me so much of all of us. and how much life is going to change for us in the next, you know, 15 years, 12 years, 13 years, 14 years. like how much we grow without even realizing it. how much we change without even realizing it. and the beauty of our development. and what we decide to choose to think about. and what we de-cide to train about. and who we fall in love with. and what we talk about. our evolution is just as beautiful and as precious as from being a child to being a young woman. it's like right now, you're going from being who you are to who you're becoming. and the next decade plus is going to be a masterpiece. it's going to come with highs and lows. it's going to come with new things that you learn. it's going to come with milestones. it's going to come with life events. and it's like, how often can you just be present with the, the beautiful changing of the seasons of your life and appreciate it? and not be so much in a hurry to put something there or to make something happen or to be successful enough, just to actually experience the joy of being alive. and that's the beautiful thing about the goddess. she, she like breathes in the beauty and the enoughness of this moment. whereas the badass is making more happen. and the boss is making sure everything, you know, balances out in the end. the goddess is the one that gets to breathe in the beauty that is today with no reason other than she chose it. and she was able to see it. so just want to continue to encourage you as often as possible to have those goddess moments in your life with yourself, with your kids, with your nieces and nephews, with your friends. time is passing. there's lessons in that time passing. if you soften, it's a really beautiful thing.

so let's jump into the Q&A now. the first question that I have here is about the portal drop. but the question is, how do you know if it's your feelings or if it's somebody else's feelings? now, there's a, there's a story attached to this, but I don't feel like I need to, to share it in order to answer the question properly. you are going to have moments in life where you feel empathy towards other people's feelings. and it feels as though you are the one experiencing the pain. this will happen sometimes with your parents. it'll happen with your siblings if they're going through something difficult. but it could literally happen with someone going through something on the news where you cannot help but put yourself exactly in their situation. and it feels like it's happening through your body. it doesn't actually matter whether it's yours or someone else's. it can have the absolute same effects if you take it on. and so it doesn't matter whether you just took on something you heard in the news and you're thinking of certain people in the world. it doesn't matter whether you're taking on a family member's stress or heartache. if you're feeling it in your body, you get to tap. you get to do the breathwork. you get to do the portal drop because the feelings you're feeling are yours, even if the story you're feeling is not yours. so you can process the emotions the exact same way.

the next question, Melanie has said, the biggest energy wins. so my question is, how do we increase the power of our own energy, strengthen our boundaries, and truly hold space for ourselves and all that we're meant to be? I really struggle with this, especially with my husband. he triggers me in the bad child that I was with my stepmother. I've done a lot of healing and releasing work around this, and I still feel bullied by his energy, even when he doesn't say anything. so what I would look at is, when you feel bullied by this person's energy, what does that mean? does it mean you feel you need to behave the way that he would prefer you to behave? does it mean that you feel like you need to think the way that he thinks you should think? because what's often missing is our conviction in ourselves. so I'll give you an example. let's say I believe with all of my heart that women are supposed to be soft like a peach with a strong core on the inside. and that they're supposed to have attached to their fuzzy little peach self, a huge juicy bank account. and I believe that when they regulate their nervous systems and they can really be powerful leaders in the world, there is no greater force on earth than a peach woman with a big juicy bank account. there is nothing more powerful in the world. now, let's say I believe this with all of my spirit. but someone else believes that women should not be distracted by money. that women that care about money become cold. that women who care about money become not good parents, not good people. that they're selfish, that they're self-centered. and that women need to be tough because the world is hard. and when I'm saying what I'm saying, I have people in my inbox saying, what you're saying is so dangerous. you're telling women they should be soft. so many women have been through so much, and you want them to be soft. we need our shell. we need our hard exterior. and they scream at me in my inbox. if I don't have conviction in what I'm saying, that screaming is going to touch me because I'm going to say, oh gosh, did I do something wrong? it'll make me question what I'm doing. that's what the little child inside of us did when we were little and we got yelled at. did I do something wrong? we question ourselves. but when I'm in full conviction, and someone comes in and they start yelling at me and they say that I don't feel that. I think you are an absolute conviction of the opposite of me. keep living your life. don't worry about what I say. you're allowed to be completely right. there's a whole section of the world that agrees with you. why would you waste your time watching my stuff? and I don't wobble in my conviction. I say, you get to be right. and so what I would look at with your partner, since you're living together and you love each other, it's like you can't necessarily say, you go live your life over there and I'll go live my life over here. but what you can say is, you get to still have your conviction about whatever it is that you believe in. it's just, I also get to have mine. so in certain places, maybe we don't need to talk about it. you have your opinion, I have my opinion. I know people. I have helped couples through one, um, one of the two is Republican and the other one is Democrat. like, can you imagine being married to someone and your political views are entirely opposite? like, that is something very difficult to, to navigate. and so I've helped people manage to do that. if you can have that, you can have anything. and so it's really just in your full conviction in yourself and his full conviction in himself. and you not needing the other one to agree with you in order to feel like you're right. that's the maturity for most of us. in order to feel like we're right, not only do we need someone else to agree with us, but if they didn't, even without yelling, would be wobbly. so imagine with yelling. the stronger the conviction, the less we get triggered by other people's opinions, thoughts, or or lashing out. and you increase your conviction with your contemplation, with your training. so like, let's say, for example, I believe that fuzzy peach women with big bank accounts are the key to the and the gateway to the next level paradigm on earth. so I am training constantly to be exactly that. and the more I become that, the better the woman I am, the better everything's working around me. so that helps my conviction. the more women around me who become successful in this way and who love their lives and whose marriages are getting better and who everything's getting better, that's creating conviction for me. I'm constantly plugged into it, into it, seeing where the shortcomings are, refining what I'm doing. but I'm convinced in what I'm doing because I'm living by it. so I think living by your conviction also really helps. if you're living your life from what you believe in rather than just preaching something, your conviction will also grow.

I can now see how you've helped after these last two weeks. mature conversations. this is really good. uh, I just figured out how old I'll be in 15 years. 84. that grounded me in the moment so intensely. this is awesome. uh, who else feels like they're walking around so naked now, so vulnerable, leaning in to embrace this new way? this is the thing. it's like, in our nakedness, we're vulnerable and we're facing our fears. in us covering up what we're afraid of or ashamed of, we're protected. we're no longer naked, but we're not authentic. we're worried that if anyone saw us naked, they wouldn't love us. and so really, might as well be naked and figure it out. it feels more vulnerable, but the gateway to the freedom is far more available. someone was recently being mean and insulting and hurting my feelings about myself. I need to be stronger as a peach. and it's like, your feelings might get hurt. that's, that's okay. but it's not avoiding living fully out of fear that someone will hurt your feelings. my feelings still get hurt sometimes, you know. I had someone write yesterday on on my, uh, woman master class thing, like, this woman is a scam. can't anybody see this? and it hit me right in the same place it always has. it's not like I just feel like I was like, gosh, I poured my heart out on that thing. like, how does this still happen? how could someone even see that? but it would not stop me from going forward. it would not slow me down. it would not deter me. it would not change the way I coach today. it would not change the way I coach tomorrow. it'll not make me need a minute or need a break or need to cry or need to, I don't mean to do any of that stuff, whereas in the past I may have. but now I feel it. but my feelings get dealt with differently. people can still be mean. you still can feel it. but it doesn't affect you or change you or sway you. or it'll slow you down. and that's where the power really works.

okay, let's see. um, when feelings come up as we're building our conviction and we're attacked by others, do you recommend portal dropping or anything else? I find when I'm in freeze or fight. so portal drop is my favorite for that. like when I'm in a conversation with someone, even sometimes I've coached people who get really triggered during the coaching and they get their energy starts to rise. I don't know if that's ever happened to you before. or even in a conversation where you're very calm, but the other person's getting agitated. and you still have to be in the conversation. you can't just walk away from it. portal dropping clears the energy beautifully. but there's also knowing that when we're done with the conversation, you still get to tap. and you get to breathwork as soon as that person's gone. so it's like, portal drop while you're in front of them, breathe deeply, trust the process. and when they're gone, you can do any of the deeper work. I don't think I'm there yet. we grow, we grow, we grow, we grow. I can't wait to share what has transpired in my world today. massive softening and forgiveness towards myself over a trauma from 61 years ago. liberation. I've never had such a beautiful softening and release. I'm so happy. meanwhile, that was a masterpiece. this, the thing for my people that are meant for me, that get it, it's a masterpiece. for people who are not my people, who don't know what it is, something else. so what does it matter? like, I couldn't fight it. I couldn't, what do you want me to say? like, there's nothing I can say or do. it's like, that's their perspective. so the only thing I can do is say, the people it was meant for loved it. but it doesn't stop the feeling. we're human. we're not robots. but then you, you just, you, you respond on to it differently. at a point, people can fear the truth and laugh, lash out, jealousy about earnings. this, all these things are all femme fatale stuff too, by the way. this is when I also tell myself, these people have never taken femme fatale. uh, when I feel attacked, I feel like my energy shrinks. like I can't seem to stand up for myself. and this is what going through. oh, by the way, there's an energy healing session with Nicole tomorrow evening. and she's asked me to tell you if you can to bring a white candle. I don't know what's going to happen on that, but that sounds beautiful. um, we tend to shrink when we feel attacked because the first time in our lives where we ever felt bullied or attacked by a person that was bigger than us, we were tiny little chicken nuggets. and we better do what we're told, or else we get into more trouble. this is a very childlike response. so as we mature and as we train for the goddess, instead of the baby goddess, I don't know if you guys have had a chance to watch the baby goddess module that I dropped. but as we become more of that full goddess, the response becomes very different. instead of shrinking, we can hold our own and just see what's happening in front of us. that probably the person that's yelling at us is in baby goddess. like the person who's yelling has lost emotional control. it used to be before I thought the loudest person was probably the one with most conviction. but the strongest is not necessarily the loudest. sometimes the loudest is the one that's lost control. the one that is the most afraid. the one that feels like if they don't scream, no one will listen. so I feel more conviction in my silence. that I believe most people feel in they're yelling at the top of their lungs. that's power. eventually, it doesn't matter how you behave. your behavior is just a representation of your power. if you scream and yell, that doesn't mean you're bigger or stronger. sometimes it means you feel smaller and weaker. so to hold yourself together in those moments where someone's yelling at you is the ultimate strength. and that comes with time. there's nothing you could do to make them see different. no. and what's the point anyway? my people loved it. why would I waste my time trying to get somebody who did get it, didn't get it, to get it, when I can just be grateful and revel in the energy of the people who got it and expand my energy and compound my, my audience and compound the results of what's good? let people be. just let them. it doesn't matter that they don't agree. what matters is that you find the people who do. and that you do the work with them. and that you can hold your ground when someone doesn't. but we don't need to change anyone's opinion. that's not important.

what module was portal dropping? I feel like I've deleted this module seven. my parents' energy can be very chaotic and negative. do you respond to these people or ignore? ignore, ignore, ignore. and delete. deleting is the best part because like, they think they're so powerful, but they forget we're the only people who can delete their comment. they can't delete our live stream. they can't delete our post. but just like this, we deleted their comment. that feels very powerful. like, here's the most powerful I think I can do. erased. like that feels good for me. I like that. um, okay, my greatest challenge and expansion are being mother and wife. I totally get that. um, so the portal dropping module is the one where we create, we take all the energy, we turn it into a different color, and we take the ball of light and we drop it. drop it like it's hot. and I call it the portal drop. you port, you drop it in your portal. um, it was in module 7 of this program. we're all intelligent women attending and buying your classes. that is very true. I forgave an old friend and actually called her and had a beautiful conversation. I don't expect us to build bridges together, but it was really nice to not hold the pain. and I'm a grief specialist. I work with individuals on this, but I needed the kick in the pants to soften towards her. this is my second time around in femme fatale and so much is shifting. Marta, that is fantastic and thank you for sharing that. when I forgave myself, I also told myself I hadn't taken femme fatale yet. I love that. okay, so Emma gave us clarifications. the healing session is at 4:30 PM Eastern Standard Time with Nicole tomorrow. and to bring a candle. okay, let's see. let's see. let's see. the first time we take our new level up out for a spin, that first backlash feels like grabbing onto an electric fence. oh yeah. you know, when you're like, oh yes, in the incubation process of the femme fatale program, I feel so strong. I've got this. nothing can stop me. you go in the real world, you try it on, you get backlash. like, okay, wait. was I not as strong as I thought I was? not prepared for that. but then you go back and you get stronger. um, I love that module. I was laughing at myself recognizing her, the baby goddess. I loved your faces and I felt so called out. what's the boy version of baby goddess? it's just the little boy. it's just the little boy. and we know the little boy really well because he comes out when you go into your mothering energy. when you go into mothering badass, you got little boy. it's not my fault. I didn't know. you didn't tell me. I didn't do it on purpose. why are you screaming at me? I didn't hear you. I didn't know. you know exactly what that sounds like. it's the same thing. can't help but think those beautiful orchids behind Melanie look like Angel L. I love that. I'm seeing them so differently now. my, my orchid angel lings. I was in the last round of femme fatale and I was in a head-on collision and missed all from my injury. and I'm so grateful to be here right now. I met someone that makes me want to open my heart and I'm scared. but with this second chance in this program, I feel like I can feel the pain, if not his love, because of this work. I know that I'm the one and my man will know my heart. candy, wow. that is incredible. gosh, I love you guys so much. what's it like to go dancing with you, Melanie? depends on the time. sometimes it's wild. sometimes it's silly. sometimes I feel triggered with my hubby. and then portal drop and feel silence. and yet feel like I want to win. can you speak to that? well, this is when you're in your masculine because masculine is winning or losing. feminine is healing. so you'll just notice the more you're in your masculine, the more you'll want to win. um, I don't know how long the healing session will be. if you prefer to just watch it on the replay, it will be recorded for you, so you can watch it on the replay if you want to be there for however long you can be and watch the rest on the replay. you can also do that. I can see the same pattern with my mom and Nana and my mom. so snappy with each other. and we have a super short fuse for mothers in this family. and I want to change it. suggestions? keep going through the program. we're going to be doing more lineage work in here and more mother wood, motherhood wounds. that's going to be really helpful. um, let's see. I would love to know if there are forever foes or real. because my goodness, those are prizewinning. the orchids are gorgeous. oh, no, they're real. Kevin got them to me for, got them for me for Valentine's Day. they're my favorite flowers. you got me red roses and white orchids. um, is it masculine to need to have the credit? yes, everything that is external validation, winning or losing, is all masculine energetics. um, Nicole said to prep for 90 minutes. thank you, Kylie. I find myself so much more gentle with myself since this program. no more should have energy. that's life-changing. um, the winning feeling is addicting. is there a way to shift the feeling when we do get to the attachment of winning something? we can do in the moment now. so important. it's not bad to be in masculine energy. it's not like feminine energy equals good, masculine energy equals bad. I love to win. I love to succeed. I love those things. but my life is far more led in the feminine, where although I love to win, I don't get my worth from winning. the feminine is our worthiness. I was born worthy and nothing has changed. and I love to win. like winning for me in business feels the same as winning a game of Monopoly. you know, it's like, it, it's winning. it's fun. it was awesome. losing feels like, ah, like my, my worth has not been impacted. where I feel women really lose their quality of life is when their attachment to their worth and their identity is in the masculine. but having fun masculine things to play with, oh my gosh, you can have that in your life, of course. it's when it starts to hit your nervous system like it's the truth of your worthiness that it's a problem. the forgiveness process was so different for this round. forgiving them for not having the capacity for showing up differently versus what they did to me was a game changer. Amanda, that's huge. um, okay, Nicole is saying the healing session will be one and a half hour tomorrow or or one and a half hour. but you can leave sometime on the back end if you can. okay. and again, we're going to, we're going to deepen some of this. I'm seeing more questions are being added, but I've got, I got to do this one. I'm going to go, I'm going to go back to the Q&A thread. okay. uh, Melanie said to process your emotions after your forgiveness and give it time. what does it mean to process emotion and how do you do it? so every healing session that you're going to do, the portal dropping, the breathwork, the tapping, these are things that are going to help you process emotions. so if you can imagine the feeling of, like, if I make a mess on the floor, let's say I drop water on my hardwood floor. I pick up the water. there's no, there's no problem. but let's say I drop wine on my white couch that's made of material, then it's going to leave a stain. and so the difference between just like moving on from things and processing emotion is the difference between if there's a stain or there's not a stain. so there's going to be things in your life that don't leave a stain. someone will say something and then be like, I was such a jerk. I'm so sorry I said it that way. and like, okay, don't worry about it. no stain. but then there's other times somebody will do something and it'll leave a stain. and you'll be like, I don't know if I will ever be able to remove the stain from this. and there's times we're so hurt, we don't even want to try. I don't know if this has ever happened to you before. like, you've, you've stained something and you're, you're so upset by it that you don't even want to try to clean it up because there's no point because it's ruined. whatever it was, it was ruined. so forgiveness is like, I forgive you that you caused a stain on the couch. then I'm going to try to pick it up. if I don't forgive you, I might want it to stain just to prove to you that it can't be fixed. I won't even try to pick it up. I'll say, well, you've ruined my couch and there's nothing you can do about it. and there's nothing anybody can do about it. the forgiveness is the thing that you say, look, I know you didn't do it on purpose. or I know you didn't know better. or I forgive you. I let it go. I release you. whatever it is. and then the second part is removing the stain from the couch. if you say, well, if I can remove the stain from the couch, I'll forgive you, which is what a lot of people do, then they stay with stains for a very long time. and they stay with an attachment to the person for the very long time. because even if they can't fully remove the stain, every time they look at the stain, they think of their anger towards the person who did the stain. so what we want is, as soon as the person, as soon as you can forgive for the stain, you forgive. and then you've got to process the emotion. and depending on how deep the stain is, you're going to have different things. like, for some people, you'll, you'll have a special spray, you'll spray it on, it'll come right out. other times, you'll put baking soda and all kinds of stuff. it'll have to linger. it'll have to wait. it'll have to sit there with the product on it for a while. other times, you'll have to get a professional in to come in and help you take it out. and it's the same thing with our feelings. you know, sometimes it'll feel like if you just breathe through it, have a good night's sleep, give it a little bit of time, you know, you'll feel better. other times, it'll feel like a portal drop, a tapping session, a breathwork session will really help. other times, you'll be like, I think I want to hire Nicole for a one-on-one call. you know, I want to hire somebody. I want to talk about it. I'll get a professional in with me. but what we tend to not want to do is process the pain. we just want the stain to just immediately go away. processing the pain means being with the pain, feeling it, experiencing it, all the things that you're also learning in the program. this analogy is perfection. yay, Melanie. can you expand a portal drop in moment? like, do we need to know the energy or just go with the feeling? so the, the thing is, your feeling is the reason you portal drop. so let's say I'm feeling overwhelmed. I can even do this if I'm feeling overexcited. so I have portal dropped. like, I have had clients send me 300, 400, $500,000 like this. and the feeling of that amount of money coming into my bank account is quite spectacular. and so I have had to portal drop sometimes because the sheer amount of excitement that I'm feeling is making it hard to concentrate on other things I need to do. and I'll portal drop excitement. so like, my, I'm short of breath. I can't focus. I'm speaking really fast. and I've got to go and be really connect, really strong and powerful on a meeting. but I'm giddy and I'm freaking out because something epic's about to happen in my life. and so I'm like, okay, what's the color that I'm feeling in my body? and it's like, yellow. okay, all right, yellow. very good. where is it? everywhere. okay, relax. pull it out of your body. put it all in the white ball of light. got it. portal drop. I become strong, powerful. I've kept all my energy, but I can focus again. so it doesn't matter whether it's positive energy, sad energy, mad energy, nervous energy, excited energy. it's just when you're overwhelmed with an emotion, whichever one it is, and you want to contain it and drop it. so you still feel all of your power, but you're focused. that's the, that's the vibe of a portal drop. um, let's see. let's see. let's see. let's see. um, if the person helps me stain removal, then I'm more likely to forgive faster. okay. but here's the thing. you've got to also remember this. what if the person, so you, we're thinking about the mess. the person who made the stain has a certain level of emotional intelligence. so not everyone that makes a stain on your couch has the emotional intelligence of your mother. like a grown-up that knows how to clean a, a stain. some people have the emotional intelligence of a one-year-old that accidentally knocked your wine glass while they were breastfeeding. or, you know, knocked or knocked a thing over when they were not, you know, they dropped a, a thing of juice all over as they were walking and they made a stain. you're going to tell them they need to help you pick up the wine? like they knocked with their foot a wine. someone brought you a glass of wine for when you were done breastfeeding and you just knocked it. not, not on purpose. or brought it for your sister or whatever it is. and the baby knocks it with their foot. you're going to be like, you are going to help me clean up this mess. or I'm not going to forgive you. like, that doesn't work. you know, you got a cup of coffee next to you and your one-year-old knocks it with their foot while they're doing something. you're going to make them get down and wash the couch. so what helps sometimes is to realize, like, not everyone has the, the emotional intelligence to be like, it's just a stain. I've got this. some people are ashamed. they feel guilty. they freak out. they, they feel so bad. they feel like they've ruined your couch. they feel like you'll never love them again. they don't know how to clean a couch. they don't know what to use. and some people, believe it or not, like the one-year-old who's knocked over your coffee cup will make it worse. they'll say, let's put this on it and let's try to rub it. and now you're like, don't rub it. you've got to just tap it. why did you do that? you spread it everywhere. you know, so you've got to also remember, not everyone knows what to do with a stain. not everyone knows what to do with emotional intelligence. okay, let's see. oh, wait. I said I was going, I was staying on this for a minute. um, next thing. my question is about the visualization of the goddess. I was the goddess arriving. and what I found was myself standing and waiting as a child. what is the meaning for this? so it just means that you see the emotional intelligence part of you as fragile and small. so when you see the goddess as really big, you understand its power. you're giving her a lot of power and a lot of responsibility. when you're showing up and you're seeing the goddess is very small, it feels like you still have a feeling the goddess is the smallest or the weakest part of you. but we de-velop that inside of the program. but it's just a subconscious like, the god, the goddess is the smallest part of me. instead of the Goddess, I'm giving the goddess all the power. that's what it means. okay. so when you ask, like, how to portal drop while driving or in a moving vehicle, and I can't hold the white light in front of me, seems like it's escaping because of the movement. I want you to think like, when you're first being in a car, when you're a kid or whatever, you can't even drink in the car. you're like, trying to drink and you're like, so to try to imagine portal dropping is like the understanding that doing it in the car is not going to be the first place it's going to make sense. once you can do it second nature, you'll be able to do it. like, I remember when I first started driving, watching my friends change a disc, a CD in the car to play music. and I was like, how do you do that? if I take one finger off the wheel, I'm afraid we're going to crash. and you've got your coffee in one hand, you're driving the car with your knee, and you're changing the CD. like, who are you? what are you? an octopus? like, how does this work? so I wouldn't say that at first, before portal dropping is second nature, that you'll be able to do it in the front seat of a car or while you're driving or while you're doing something else because it requires your attention. but eventually, you will be able to to do it. at that point, I would start practicing it on solid ground as your main focus. and then you'll see you can multitask with it. I called in my goddess to connect with her for advice on how to navigate a situation. the situation was, I was working on multiple in-depth projects for my business. in the moment, I felt unsettled, disconnected, frustrated, frustrated by not self-themed, and ready to implode. she beautifully said to me, I can't help you with this. for this, you need to turn the CEO. connect with her. is it beneficial to create this image of all three archetypes to call on either of them accordingly? or was she just reminding me that it was a moment to be strong and use wisdom? so the way I see it, the, the goddess is the one that is just in the being. she doesn't do business. she's not, she's not worried about how many people join your master class. she's not worried about how much money you make. she doesn't mind the results. like, that's not her. that's not her realm. the badass doesn't care about how you feel. she just going to do what she's got to do. like, it's 5:00 in the morning. the baby's crying. you're up and you're doing what you've got to do. it's time. you've got to do homework. you've got to do breakfast. you've got to do this. you've got to go to work. you're in traffic jam. the badass just does what she's got to do regardless of how you feel. the boss is the one that takes the two identities, puts them together and makes a business work. so we want to be in business relying more so on the boss or the CEO archetype more than the goddess. because the goddess is the one that, it's like, we don't need any of this. we are grateful and we are worthy even if nobody buys. we don't need money. we can walk barefoot in the grass and eat little, you know, flower tops. I think I see basil over there. should I get you some? smell this. it'll relax you. so the CEO is not the goddess. the CEO is the CEO. however, you need the emotional intelligence of the goddess in order to be able to regulate the CEO. because when something crazy happens and the badass is like, I'll take over, but there's no emotional intelligence, you don't make the same moves. so if you're feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and ready to explode, it's because either you're not regulating your emotional intelligence in the things that you've got to do. and so if you were to go with the goddess, you might have put everything down and gone to take a bath and thought about it, walked away from it, taken a walk. but if you've got to still be in the business, the goddess is not the best archetype. the boss is. so for me, it's this leadership. I love to see the leader as the boss, the one who says, for me, for you, for us. so let's say I'm working on something in my business and I am feeling out of my depth and I feel frustrated and I feel like I'm going to explode. a lot of the times I'm going to breathe and I'm going to look at the for me, for you, for us approach. what does alpha fem need? and how does me modeling this in alpha fem impact my clients and my, my teaching? and then how does that impact the industry? and then how does that impact the world? I get present with my responsibility. so this is more like the leadership archetype, the, the boss vibe, which is more of the leader, the one that realizes your impact on the world. the one that realizes the responsibility and your abilities in a more mature kind of way. I hope that's helpful. okay, the next part. Melanie, this came up during Nicole's tapping session. so I asked there as well because I felt something like a ball stuck in my, in my throat. but I'm wondering, how do we know if we're disconnected from our feelings? my parents were divorced when I was four. and my dad, who was a single parent and alcoholic the majority of my childhood, and retired military, raised me. I spent many of the days alone with no one to see, hold, feed, groom me, etc. etc. but I can remember there were messages along the way that reassured me that God was with me. I don't know if I stopped feeling along the way, where, um, somewhere but I, but I asked me, but ask me to go through tapping and make phrases while I tap. and I'm the most uncoordinated and discombobulated person ever. I don't know what to say. cars eventually rolled down my face. and I felt anger and sadness. since being an adult, I thought I was emotionally intelligent because nothing really shook me. people compliment me on how I'm able to move on so easily and ask how I do it. so I'm wondering, how does a person know if there's an unprocessed emotion which they masterfully stuff down versus them being emotionally intelligent? like, how long do you allow yourself to process emotions? an old boyfriend of mine asked me years ago, and only once, why do you let an argument ruin your whole day? and since then, my practice has been not to dwell. so I feel like I feel things. and I also feel like I get over it. I just want to make sure that I'm not in denial over here. okay, there's two things I want to say. I believe that everything that comes into our life is shaping us all the time. and so my dad, I remember when I was like five years old and I was crying about something. my dad said to me in French, and he said it with a tone that meant, now, and what it means, fair is man up. I was five. so his solution to his daughter crying was to tell her to man up in a very serious tone. and I just remember feeling, because I remember this, it was one of like, core memory unlocked. I just remember feeling like, if he's going to respect me as an equal, I need to not do this. and so in front of my dad, I did not want to cry. now, did this stunt me emotionally? I can't tell. I don't know. but what I do know is that in my life, when things were really tough, I tried really hard not to get super emotional about it and to man up. it was a big part of what made me highly masculine. when I started processing my feelings, what I realized is that sometimes I don't feel my feelings if I think people will think less of me if I feel them. when I realized that was the blanket that made me so tough, I asked myself, do I still want to wear this blanket? or am I willing to let it go? because now, if my dad said man up, I would say, no, learn to have a daughter. know your role. don't put your need to feel like you know what you're doing on me. just the fact that you only know how to handle men is not my problem. figure out how to be a dad to a daughter. that's your job. I don't know how to say that as a 5-year-old. so I just was like, okay, sir. I'm working on it, sir. I'll figure it out. so did it. but did it give me power where when I'm in a business meeting, I can hold my own? yes. I know how to man up. my dad gave me that code. but do I need to live by it? no. when I realized that I thought I was inconveniencing people or I was less than whenever I had emotions, that's when I decided to give it up. so there are parts that you can process in this way. but the other part of this, when it comes to the tapping, I had a really hard time with the tapping when I first started. and this is why I actually trust in it so much as a tool. the first time I ever started tapping, I had the same feeling as you. it felt like, I don't know if anyone has ever asked you to do the thing where you tap your head and rub your belly at the same time. it, it felt like that. either I would stop tapping or I would stop talking. one of the two things would stop at the same time. and it, it felt like I was so focused on doing the tapping at the right places. I was so in my head with it that I couldn't think of the emotions that I was feeling. so it's also in the same thing as like portal dropping in the car. it's learning to actually understand the tapping. so even if you started tapping by just saying, like, I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. like, if that's all you said at first, until you got through the motion, you could do that. then what helped me was to write things down to get started. so one of, one of the main reasons I started tapping, this is the first time I ever tapped, was because I had to go and do one of my demonstrations in the store that

I was selling the Mr stickies and stuff, and I was having panic attacks because I couldn't sell. I just knew I was going to fail in advance. It felt like no one was going to buy from me. And just the thought of gathering that crowd, knowing they didn't want to be there, knowing I was probably not going to make money, knowing it was just starting to cause a panic inside of me. And so I couldn't get myself to do to even pick up the phone, something I was so good at before. I was just in paralysis.

And so I started tapping to get myself to just do the job. And so I would say things like, "Even though I am so stressed to pick up the phone right now, I profoundly love and accept myself." And, "Even though I used to be so good at this, and I feel I'm so stupid for not freaking out and being so nervous about this, I profoundly love and accept myself." And, "Even though I know there's nothing to worry about, and I'm still causing myself so much anxiety, I profoundly love and accept myself." And, "Even though I know this is all stupid and ridiculous, and there's no purpose for this, and there's no logic in this, and I'm frustrated with myself, I profoundly love and accept myself."

And I would write these things down. "What do I really feel?" And then I would read them and tap. Now, when you're being guided by someone else, you're following their rhythm. It feels like you need to go faster. But when you do it on your own terms, and you're like, "Okay, I'm starting here. This is all I'm doing." And I'm reading my paper, and I feel, "I say it until I feel it." And then I change to something else. And then I say that. "I'm reading the paper. Even though I'm so mad at myself because I used to be so good at this, and I don't know what happened, and what changed, and I'm so mad at me, I profoundly love and accept myself." And you say it until you mean it, and then you move on to something else.

It did take a little bit of a robotic thing at first, but then eventually I felt the energy drop in my body, and it was okay, and it was good to go. I remember being in the middle of the aisle of a Canadian Tire, saying to myself, "Even though I'm nervous that someone's going to watch me tapping, I profoundly love and accept myself." "Although I'm distracted by what I should actually be saying, because all I keep thinking about is I'm going to come face to face with someone in one of these aisles, and they're going to wonder why I'm tapping on my face like a psycho, I profoundly love and accept myself."

I got so used to saying the truth about what I was feeling that it's like I took out a block from my body. And it what it made me good at doing was actually saying exactly what's wrong. I realized for a long time I wasn't even comfortable saying the truth of what was wrong. It had to sound good enough. I had to put something together that other people would deem valid of me being worried about. When the tapping helped me so much, because I got to say everything, all the way to the silliest thing, which is, "Now I feel annoyed that I've got to tap because I'm standing in the middle of a grocery store, tapping underneath my nose, and I think if anyone saw me, they'd think I'm nuts, but I profoundly love and accept myself." And that being part of the process just felt so liberating that I got to feel honest with myself. And I got to put the whole thing down. So let yourself practice. Let it be janky. Let it be just the energy of it. "I forgive myself. I forgive myself. I forgive myself." Then write the stuff out first. Practice it. Let it be a work in progress. Train yourself to be able to use this tool.

Okay, I have two questions. One is about myself. I wrote my forgiveness letter and did the tapping straight after. I tapped the feelings I have towards my mom: disappointment, anger, sadness. Gradually, I started feeling hopeless, abandoned, lost, and that I no longer trust her. I understood I need to focus on my feelings rather than my story, but my mind tells me that I'm ignoring the story, I'm avoiding the issue. I guess this is a pattern of resistance. But do you have any recommendations? Say that while you're tapping, "Even though while I'm tapping, the story is coming back louder than ever, I profoundly love and accept myself." And, "Even though I'm getting distracted by my feelings because I'm all wrapped up in the story, I profoundly love and accept myself." And, "Even though it feels like if I let go of the story, I'm invalidating all of my feelings, I profoundly love and accept myself." And, "Even though I'm feeling sadder now than I did when I first started tapping, I profoundly love and accept myself." Go into the emotion. See if it unblocks. What happens with us is we start processing an emotion until we hit something we think is wrong, and we don't want to go deeper. But sometimes in going through that, you actually break through. You know, it's like maybe you've never let yourself actually feel that. Maybe every time you've got to a certain point in your feelings, you fear having to give up your story, and then you want to hold on to it. So you stop processing it because you're afraid you're going to let go of the story that validates your entire experience. We don't know what it is, but go through the story. Don't stop it when you think you've lost it. Acknowledge the thoughts.

My second question is about my daughter. She's very sensitive and emotional, even more so than I am. She's highly empathetic. And a few days ago, I got angry at her. And when this happens, she always pleads with me, "Don't be angry, please don't be." I told her I was angry, and that there was nothing she could do about it. I reassured her that I love her, but I'm angry. This made her burst into tears, saying, "I'm so sad." I tried explaining to her that she can't control other people's feelings. I'm concerned that her high empathy might cause her suffering as she grows up. She's only four, but already so aware. How can I support her? Children are mirrors, and so your daughter is probably showing you a very solid mirror of how you feel about your mom. I would think as you do the lineage work in this program, you're going to realize that all the things that she's showing you are the things that you have felt, but you've locked in your body your whole life. She's just willing to show you. And it's possible that your mom didn't have the open good that you have with her. And so you would have never shared those things with your mom. You would have just, if she would have said, "Stop crying now," you would have said, "Okay," and then you would have thought, felt abandoned by her and disappointed and all these things because of her reaction. Whereas she's telling you in real time what she's feeling. But this lineage work is so powerful because just because the behavior is different doesn't mean the feelings are different. I think as you heal this with your mother, it'll change things with your daughter. And as you heal things with your daughter, it'll change things with your mother. Just keep being in the process with this program.

Okay, the next one. I have two things I'd love to ask you. One, can you talk about the relationship between forgiveness and power? When I wrote my forgiveness letter, I found that the ones that I had the hardest time letting go of were those who I felt powerless in the situation that had hurt me. My mom, for example. I know perfectly well that she did her best with what she had. More so, I can see my own responsibility on many of the events that hurt me. Still, I found it very difficult to let go of the stories because I could feel how she still held power over me on some points, and the behaviors that hurt me that kept repeating themselves. I couldn't forgive her fully. Or maybe I forgave her, but couldn't let go of the stories and the fear of them repeating. So the forgiveness is not like, "I forgive you because I don't think you'll ever do it again." The forgiveness isn't, "I forgive you because I don't think you did it on purpose." The forgiveness is not, "I forgive you because you're a nice person and you didn't mean to." The forgiveness is, "I forgive you because that's all you knew how to do. You didn't have better tools. You didn't know better. This is what you had, and I cannot hold on to this story for the rest of my life for either one of us." But then I might still be left with sadness, anger, which feels really crappy. When now I'm left with all these feelings, and I don't have you to blame for it anymore because I've left you off the hook with my forgiving. So now I have to process it because I can't blame you for it anymore. I can't just put it on you anymore. I've forgiven you. So whatever is left over, I need to process. But when we don't want to give up the story, it's very hard to forgive because the story is the buffer. It's like if my heart got broken, and I blame you for it, I don't need to process all of my fears about my heart being broken. I just need to be angry with you, and I can blame you for not wanting to start new relationships, and I can blame you for not trusting people, and I can blame you. And I can bring the story back. There's no growth for me. I'm stuck. But it's your fault, which feels great. Whereas if I forgive you, I still have all of these blocks, but now I have to face them, which is something we tend to not want to do. And that's why this program is so powerful. So you felt powerless because you felt she was the one in charge. But if you actually saw her as powerless too in the situation, imagine in your story that she had the power to do better when she didn't. Her emotions were capped. Her capacity was capped. She was reactive. She wished she was behaving differently, and she couldn't. That's where you actually gain the power when you realize, like, I've put her in a position of absolute knowing she could have done better. She was capable and she chose not to. So I feel hurt. But if you actually see it as it is, you'd be like, she was incapable of doing any better. This was her maximum. Now I just have to deal with my feelings.

The next piece I'd love to hear you talk more about is reconnecting with the divine within and the opening of it to someone else. Something moved inside of me during the last call when you talked about it. What you shared absolutely landed for me, but now I'm a little puzzled as to how to uncover what is lying underneath all the conditioning. Can you share a little more about what the process was that got you to reconnect with that part of you, and what practices and habits helped you? How did you do it? So there is going to be more of that in this program. We're not done with that. The portal drop was the opening. But what I will say is just reconnecting to my body for myself, and it not just being a part of me that gets activated when I'm in relationship with somebody else. Even just the portal dropping, even just tapping into the power of myself, seeing it, magic on legs when I walk into a room, understanding the power of my femininity, talking about my body differently, feeling about my body differently, all those things helped. But we are going to go deeper into this. The portal drop connects you to your womb. It connects you to your body in ways that you could go days, weeks, months without thinking of your body in that way, unless someone else were to want to be with you, touch you, be with you. When you're on your own, you can completely disconnect. So this is about having a relationship with your body, and then we can deepen the wisdom. But at first, it's just even being aware that we are magic on legs, aware that we even have this magic inside of us. That we think about it, and we feel about it, then we can add extra context.

How do you go about processing the emotions of something that happened a really long time ago? So the only reason we may still even think about something that happened a really long time ago is because of the story. So one of the reasons I tell people, "Live your life the way you want to tell the story in hindsight," is because if you want to remember something forever, make a story about it. If you want to make memories forever, make a story about whatever it is you want to remember. Unfortunately, our best stories are usually the ones about our pain. We remember intricate detail. We believe we know people's motives. We remember the look in their eye. We remember the way it felt. We remember the lighting. We remember the sound. We remember everything. And so because we lock in our stories so deeply, it becomes really difficult to ever forget them. So the first thing is, when you decide to forgive the story and you're letting go of the story, that doesn't mean you're not still going to have feelings about it in that moment, because your feelings are locked into the story. But if you realize without the story, there's no feelings, you may have nothing to process at all. And this has happened to me in the past. Once I started doing this work, certain memories would come up for me, and I'd be able to actually, from all of the maturity that's come from this program, be able to look at myself and be able to look at the situation that happened and completely dismantle it. It's like, gosh, this was not at all what I thought it was. Especially with ex-boyfriends, you know, holding a story that I had been cheated on, and that I had no value, and that I wasn't worthy of love, and all this. And then all of a sudden, I saw where my motherhood wounds were coming in, and where I was being so mothering, and how the little boy was coming out, and how I created so much chaos. And I don't even have any feelings about it anymore. And there was nothing left to process. But as long as I had the story, I was angry, I was a victim, I was all this. And as soon as I realized the story had no more meaning after all the work I'd done, no more story, no more feelings. But sometimes it's deeper than that. It's with someone that's still in your life. There's still attachment. So then you've got to process the feelings through tapping, through breathwork, through portal dropping. Like, a lot of people think processing your feelings means forgiving. That's where the mistake is. It's like, "Okay, I need to forgive it, so now my feelings are processed." It's like, no, the processing is you don't feel it the way it used to feel anymore. So what did you have to move the energy out of your body? Or you need to feel it a certain way? Or you need to let yourself go into it? Or you need to let yourself go through it? Or you need to dissect it through your thoughts, through your feelings? Or you need to move the energy. Like whatever tools you've got, you've got to move it. It's not enough to just say, "Okay, well, I guess that's it then." You're sorry. Like, "Okay, that moves the story." But what about the emotions? This is the part I don't understand. How we've never been taught this. This is the biggest part. That when I started really understanding processing emotions, I'm like, "I never even heard of this." It's been, "Forgive and move on." And no wonder all of us are holding this huge baggage. We don't know where to put it because it's like, "I forgave in words, but what do I do with the truth that's been tucked under my arm for the past 30 years?" Because I'm just holding that and taking it everywhere with me. And it's like, "Well, did you forgive them?" "I, yes." "Are you sure? Because it kind of still looks like you're holding on to it." "Well, I mean, what am I supposed to do with all these feelings?" "Exactly. It's not processed." So it's having tools to actually feel your feelings. Actually feel your feelings. That's what processing them means. You feel them until they go, instead of holding them in, resisting them, in order to not feel them, so that you never feel them.

I'm frequently triggered by my husband having different opinions to mine. Too often, it's not that I only want my views upheld, but there's a gut feeling it's not just about him seeing something differently, but rather him questioning the strength and maturity of my opinions, or thinking his better thinking about his better way of viewpoint. The achievement of a level of maturity that eliminates this is what drew me to Fen fatal. When you've been with someone since you're 18, I'm now 47, it seems the tendency to infantilize finds is it harder to leave. How could I call in my goddess to help with this? So what I would say, and this is actually such a powerful question, if in your relationship you have allowed yourself to be very childlike because it serves you in certain times, then it also is going to serve your partner at certain times. Any behavioral pattern we have becomes a win-win if it's accepted by both parties. So it's kind of like if you got a really powerful and like masculine man, and there's parts about that that you don't love, but in the bedroom you love it. Like, you'll never bring it up because they'll be like, "I don't want that to go away. I love it." If you've brought this really childlike approach to things, and he thinks you're adorable, and he thinks you're funny, and you think he thinks you're all of this, he won't bring up that it's a problem. But where it'll feel like a problem to you is when you have an opinion about something, and he treats you like a little kid. Everything has duality. And so there comes a time sometimes where that identity needs to be put down. You know, maybe you have this rite of passage in this program, and you have, you no longer need to be that cutie little person that you've been, that you can actually put it down. And then once you find yourself not relying on that cute little identity, or the little girl, or like, "Don't yell at me," or "You're being mad with me," or "You're being mean with me," or "Can you do this for me?" Or if you want to put that down, then whenever he's not taking you seriously about something, you can be like, "I'm really serious. This is my belief, and I don't like the way you're talking about it." There will be respect. But what's difficult is when you rely on the little girl in some places, and then you fight against him treating you like that in other places. So sometimes it's us that needs to make a choice on our identity as we're growing into this.

Can you say more about how the portal drop integrates with a powerful sexual experience with a partner? Is it simply having the and knowing that your womb is the connection to the divine? So the portal drop is not necessarily what's going to help you have more sexual intimacy with your partner, but the reconnection to your portal, to your womb, to your body, that is going to help you have a much deeper understanding. What I love about the portal drop is that all of a sudden, you're actually having a relationship with your body for your own power, not just for pleasure, and not just for his pleasure, but actually for power. Like, it's so wild, but money, sex, and power in the womb. Like, you're birthing life, money, power, sex. You're birthing every experience that matters to you through your womb. And so when you have a powerful relationship with your body, you can only just have stronger intimacy. When you have a disjointed relationship with your body, you can only have disjointed intimacy. If it feels like you don't have a relationship with your body unless he's having a relationship with your body, you don't have much authority. You don't have much power. You don't have much say. You don't feel like you're in charge. You don't feel like you're offering something. So it's the more that you understand your own power, the more you realize when you're being intimate that you are giving something so powerful. You're giving access to something so incredibly powerful. Like when you're being intimate with your partner, it's the one time they get access to the divine if you open that energy when you're with them. But you get to access the divine whenever you want. It's in your body. You can drop into your portal, your biggest energy, your emotions, your feelings, your sensuality, your sexuality. You can use the portal for all kinds of things. He only has one thing he can do, one. And it's only when you give him the right and you open it for him. Like that's or or her, your partner, whoever it is. Like you have got to open this portal, or else it doesn't open. But for you, you can process everything, even your emotions in it. That was my biggest breakthrough. Was like, when I connect to this part of me, I have this part of me connected to me all the time. This is where like my real power started to create because it's like, I am just a gold mine. I'm a diamond on legs. I'm everything. I can make money. I can make the most incredible sex. I can make the most incredible power. I can make everything. And when I started sourcing that power from inside of me, everything in my life started to be more powerful. I stopped relying on everything external, and everything became an internal power. And the more you connect with your body, the more you're going to feel this. It's not a cerebral thing. If you just try to listen to what I'm saying, you won't get it. You've really got to reconnect with your body intuitively. Whatever feels like is calling you, but you've got to reconnect in some way. You've got to think about it, journal about it. You're going to feel something. It'll unlock for you if you stay connected and you keep processing this work.

How can I apply the portal drop technique for creative ideas? Well, for me, it's because of focus. So I am sometimes overly creative, or I'm overwhelmed with other things that are clouding my creativity. So I would either portal drop all the creative ideas into one ball of light, drop it in my portal for focus, or all the noise and all the million things I'm thinking I need to do. Like, I want to sit down and I want to create something for my next program, but all I can think about is this client, or that call I need to do, or this live stream I need to do, and this email I need to write. What color is all that pressure? Let me take all the energy, turn it into a white light, portal drop. Then I can single focus with my creativity. It's about moving any energy that's not the only energy you want to be focusing on out of the way. You can also portal drop if you're if you're trying to become intimate with your partner, and it feels like you're thinking about all kinds of stuff, like, "Oh no, I didn't shave my legs. Oh no, I locked the door." It's all the things that are going in your mind. If you're just like, "I'm safe to be intimate right now. What are all the things in my body that are in the way of me being completely open right now? What color are they?" Ball of light, drop it in your portal. Open up your portal. Totally different experience of being intimate. It's like, what's the energy that's clouding the one energy you want to be in?

Okay, how would you say that the root of all resistance, or would you say that the root of all resistance is fear? And without clearing and processing the fears, we're not only remain in resistance but also attract it from the outside world. Thank you so much. I love this. I think that some resistance is fear, and some resistance is misalignment. And it's really important to learn the difference in your body. So when I think about all the things I've managed to do in becoming stronger with my fear, I know I have a strong relationship to my courage. And so if I feel resistance, and I ask myself, "Would courage change this?" And the answer is yes, I know that I can power through. Whereas when it's an uh-uh feeling, like, "This is out of alignment. I would not do this. This is not right for me." You know, let's say someone wants intimacy with you, and you feel resistance. It's not just because you're afraid. Sometimes it's because it's misaligned. No, this is not a person I want to be intimate with. That's not fear. It's no. Other times, it's like, "Okay, I want to build my business, and I've got to go out there and talk about what I do." And it's like, ah, resistance. But it's like, "Would courage help me with this?" Yes. So if courage would help, it's fear. If it's a misalignment, then it's resistance for good reasons.

Resistance versus fear. How to differentiate? Oh, there's two of these back to back. What is the difference in the body and how to navigate if it's a real fear? The thing is, it gets to feel like real fear either way. The question is, is it only fear? You can feel fear to something that is out of alignment that's presenting itself, like someone wanting to be intimate with you that you don't want to be intimate with, and the pressure is building. You feel fear and resistance. It's no. And you're afraid of your feelings. Both of those things could happen. But if it's just fear, you know, like, "I haven't been intimate with a person in a really long time. I'm ready, but I haven't been naked in front of a person in like five years. I haven't taken my clothes off. I haven't undressed in front of someone in a long time. What are they going to think? Is it, what is it going to feel? What am I going to..." That's fear. But it's just fear. It's not, "I'm not ready." It's not, "I don't want this." It's, "What will they think? How will I feel? What if it's weird? What if..." Would courage help me here? Yes. So it's understanding the difference between real resistance, which you are absolutely entitled to, which is the very visceral feeling of no, versus the courage. Like, "Would me having a stronger relationship with courage help me here?"

What's the best way to deal with the fear of success? Success in a deep meaning, or is it just the other way of the fear of failures showing up? But do you see it differently? Well, I would ask myself, "What do I imagine could happen if I got too successful?" You know, for me, things were things like, "Would I end up having to work so many hours that I wouldn't have to give up my quality of life? Would I need to have so many employees that I'd lose touch with the employees that I have? Would it change the company dynamic? Would I have so many clients that I wouldn't feel as connected to the clients that I have in my business? Wouldn't feel the same? Would I lose my sense of safety just going to the grocery store, being a normal person? Would I feel out of touch with reality?" Like, those are the fears that I might feel. So you would ask yourself, "What am I afraid I'll have to face if I did become wildly successful? What are the things that I'm worried might happen that I would be unable to address or might change my quality of life?" So it's not always fear of failing. Sometimes it's really fear of succeeding. Like, imagine I became that successful, and all of a sudden I don't have time for the simple things anymore. Or like, those are real fears. Real fears.

I've been observing and wanting to withhold my love when I don't feel seen, heard, or appreciated. After listening to the modules, I understand that my baby goddess is outplaying in those moments. And I also feel that I put on a shield. How can I stay soft and loving while everything in me wants to withdraw and turn cold and let them realize that what they're missing out on if I don't give them my love or attention anymore? I tend to do this, especially in my relationship and closer friendships. It's not a pretty pattern, and I'm ready to shift it. Any thoughts and tools? PS I'll be sleeping during the live tomorrow, but I'm grateful to receive this input. So we are going to go deeper into this. If you are not, we should have make that a part of the program. Either way, I'll have the Alpha FM team add the "Ice Queen" module into this program because I think it is a really important one to have. And the Ice Queen module is exactly that. When we don't get what we want, we ice people out in order to not feel our feelings. It's like, instead of me feeling inadequate, I'll make sure you feel inadequate. Instead of me feeling like I don't belong, I'll make sure you feel like you don't belong. Instead of me feeling like I'm cast aside, I'll make sure you feel like you're cast aside. It's like, "I won't process this. I'll give it to you instead." This is a normal thing, and we get to grow out of this.

I love this program so much so far. It's exactly what I needed. I'm married since I'm 20, and recently married for 24 years. We were always different, but things started changing when I started my business 5 years ago. 7 years ago, I suddenly lost my mom to an aggressive cancer when my baby boy turned one. I was used to doing everything by myself, including emotional support. Fast forward, my emotional wellness was attacked by my husband most of the time. Since we had no extra help with the kids since my mom passed, both kids are sweet and easy, by the way. He was relieving stress on me, and there was also alcohol in the game, till the point last year in October that dishes were thrown when I hadn't had a chance to wash them. Something in me broke together with those dishes. I'm seriously considering divorce, but whatever happens, I want to be able to have a normal communication because of the kids. When I try to have a good conversation and forgive him, my mother-in-law, no matter how hard I try and contemplate my badass shows up. I am usually very mature in the way that I respond and communicate, but it seems I don't have the filter when the conversation with him starts. I know how my blocks energetically mostly come from. Can you help in how to be able to forgive if the feelings I resent and go against my core values keep coming up? And how do I create a filter between the badass and baby goddess when I'm in conversation? So we are going to move into more of the baby goddess and go badass stuff as we go deeper into the program, and also Alpha communication, which is going to be a game changer. But the one thing I would say, when there is a big shift in family dynamics, or when there's any kind of trauma like this, like your mom passed, you really needed more support, and instead you had less support, and then he also felt less support, and then you wanted him to understand, but he wanted you to understand. The whole thing kind of cracked. One thing that really helps with Kevin and I is we will ask each other really honestly, like, "What would you have needed from me in that moment?" You know, like, let's say something happened like this between Kevin and I, and I didn't wash the dishes, and he threw the dishes on the floor. Before I ever really got mad at Kevin, I would ask him, "What happened? Like, what is going on? It is not about the dishes. What's missing? What, what are you worried about? What is it?" And I think sometimes we get so out of touch in our relationship that it just gets so big. The problems get so big that it's like, "You're nuts. You're crazy. You're not dealing with your emotions properly. Are you insane? Who throws a dish?" But the truth is, there's two ways to go about it. You are allowed to say, "Look, that's violence for me, and that draws a line, and I'm done." You are allowed. And if you go into the relationship, there's also the question of like, "Look, we're not the kind of people that throw dishes at each other. Like, you're not. You're really not okay. You're really upset with me about something. Like, I want to know what it is. I want us to figure this out. I love you. You're my husband. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But like, this way of responding to me makes me really freak out. Like, I don't understand. Can you tell me what you would have needed? What did you really need? Is it really the dishes, or is it bigger than that? Like, what's going on?" And not in a scolding way, but a really open way. And he might say something you hate. He might say, "I don't know. I feel like we've grown apart. I feel like you don't care about me anymore. I feel like we don't have any intimacy. I feel like we're just roommates, and bad roommates at that. I feel like you don't care about what matters." He could say anything. You'd have to be able to just hear it without freaking out, and then go back and forth and figure and be with each other in the pain until there's a breakthrough. And then you decide whether you stay with each other, or if you've gone too far and there's a rupture in the relationship. But I think that, you know, sometimes we're so afraid of addressing big emotional outbursts that we say nothing, and then things get really bad in the relationship because it's like, "How could we talk about what happened? It was so intense. It'll just create another fight." So let's just not talk about it. And then something else happens, and it's like, "Well, we can't talk about that without also talking about the last time this happened." And if we start bringing back this plus the last time it happened, let's just not talk about it. And it creates this wall. We don't have to process anything. We don't have to talk about anything. But there's a wall between us, and that wall gets bigger and bigger. And so the question here is like, "Do you want to have the greatest relationship with your partner? And do you want to move into that? Or are you feeling more like you're complete and you want to move out of that? Or are you in a curiosity state?" But more will become clear throughout the program. Just start contemplating, and you can tap about it. "Even though there's so many things in my marriage that I am not proud of, I profoundly love and accept myself." "Even though I've accepted things that I should not have accepted, I profoundly love and accept myself." "Even though there's all kinds of conversations we haven't had, and I feel like if I open them, I'm going to lose it, I profoundly love and accept myself." "And even though I know I shouldn't talk about them, I feel pulled to, and I want to talk to him about it, I profoundly love and accept myself." Whatever's coming up for you, just tap on it. See what comes up. Go through the emotion.

Okay, let's see. At times, I have feelings of reproach towards my husband, feelings of the financial burden that I'm shouldering, of him not taking part, not being ready, of me sacrificing and feeling depleted. How to move out of those and stand for my power and love and truth? Forgiveness, tapping, journaling, reconnecting with my original feelings towards him. What's your intuition? So when we're in a relationship where it feels like we have all of the burden, we have two choices: to say something or to not say something. And then we have two more options: to say something in the way that repairs, or to say something in the way that destroys. And so this is where Alpha communication is going to become really powerful. Because if you are not able to keep holding this anymore, and there are really solid, like, you are, you want, you need to have this conversation, and you'd be willing to walk away from the relationship if this didn't change. Like, these are the conversations Fatal makes available. Can you all see in this moment that if I'm feeling any kind of pain, or if I'm feeling any kind of resistance to something in my life, and I don't want to face it because I don't want to feel the feeling that comes with it, it makes more sense that I just don't talk about it at all because I don't want to face it? Can you see that it would just make sense that I just would leave it? But inside, I can't run away from it, so it's just going to keep building. But I'm not going to say anything, and it's just going to keep building. But I'm not going to say anything. This is what most of us do. Like, "Okay, I don't want to fight. Put it down. I don't want to have a big blow-up conversation. Put it down. I don't want to divorce over this tonight. Just put it down." Instead of, "Can we talk about this?" Well, I know this partner is never going to change. So stop thinking about it. Okay, so stop thinking about it because you'll never divorce because you love him with all your heart, and there's too many amazing things about him that you would ever consider divorce, or because thinking about divorce scares you, and you don't want to go there. This is where our emotional intelligence is limited. Since we're little, we do that. "I don't want to feel it. I don't want to think about it. I don't want to feel it. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to go there. I don't want to go there." Instead of, "But what if I did go there? At least with myself, can I at least with myself think about it? Can I at least with myself go there? And then I'll decide what I want." So the things for you to contemplate in this are really like, "Do you want to stay married to your husband if things didn't change ever? Do you still want to spend the rest of your life with him? Or are you at a place where it's like, things would need to change, or I can't imagine staying married to you?" That's a really important thing for you to know and for you to ask yourself. But if you're too afraid of feeling the feelings that come with asking that question, you'll just never let yourself ask that question. And when you get clear with it, when you're like, "Oh my gosh, I wouldn't stay if it was like this forever." That's the truth. And it's like, "I have to speak about it." But not in a menacing way, not in an angry way, because I've stayed in this long without talking to him about it because I didn't want to face my feelings. It's as much my fault as anything else. So let me just breathe, take responsibility for the fact that I've let this go way too far, and really find the truth in my body when I'm communicating this. And, "Okay, so what, what is my reproach? Like, what is my real big problem here? Like, I'm holding the whole financial burden. I feel like I'm depleted, and I can't imagine spending the rest of my life like this." Am I allowed to say that? Yes. Do I need to make him a villain because I feel this? Or can I take part in my responsibility that I never said anything? Or that I've never said it in a way that would maybe land? No, I can take responsibility for that. Okay, so then I've got to talk to him and I've got to say, "We need to talk. There's something really important I need to share with you." And then you have an Alpha communication. I'm going to teach you how to do that. Or you basically say, like, "I love you, and I always thought we would just be together forever. Deep in my heart, that's what I want. I want us to be together forever. But there are things happening in our relationship that I'm realizing I don't know how to talk to you about. I don't know how to change. I don't know how to better. And so I just keep shoving them down because I don't think we've got it in us in our marriage to make this better. And I'm realizing that that's not serving me, and it's not serving you. I've been holding on to this for so long, thinking that it's never going to change, and the resentment is building, and I've never even given you a real chance." And, "Yeah, never given me a real chance. I want to share with you how I'm feeling in my life, and I want to see if there's a chance for us to work at this together because I'm realizing I'm really not happy." And you realize, "Gosh, no matter what I've said, I've never said that." Like, no matter what I've said, even if I've said, "You know, I'm really sick of holding the whole burden of everything around here," that's not the same thing as that. Like, finding the real conversation. What's the real thing that you want to say? The real truth. And am I strong enough? And can I be vulnerable enough? And can I trust in myself enough to actually say the real thing with actual strength, and not just throw it on blame, and throw it on this, because I don't know how to hold my emotions? Like this is what this work opens up for you. I can feel my real feeling. I can tell what I actually need. I can tell respon I can take responsibility for where I haven't taken responsibility before. I can hold my power in this discussion. I can share with an open heart. I can be honest without wanting to harm, but taking responsibility if it does. Like, then you're a whole other person when you're talking, and your relationships have a very different outcome.

My husband gets loud when he's sad and hurt, and then I pull back because I freeze. He would love for me to hold him in these situations. How do I become strong enough, goddess mode? So the fact is, you have a husband that does has not yet become a powerful leader, and you can't hold that against him because in this program, you're realizing you haven't become the most powerful leader either. Most of us aren't because we've never learned how to do it. So either he takes a personal development journey, you know, Kevin offers the word of men, or you find a person that really can help men become the leader in their own lives, or you can support him in achieving this. And sometimes it will mean having a little bit more of that mothering energy when he's being a little kid, and it might not feel good to do that. It might feel difficult because one of the things with women is when we don't respect our partner, and when we don't see them like the big men, sometimes the attraction is very difficult to tap into. Like, if I don't respect you, it's very hard for me to be attracted or turned on by you. The more I respect you, the more I feel you've got everything together, the more you're strong, the more you're confident, the more I can surrender to you, the more I feel safe with you, the more I'm in charge. The more I'm the mother, the less physically and sexually attracted I am to you. It's normal. So what's difficult is the more you take on that mothering role, the less intimacy you're having. So you've got to find a balance, and you've got to learn to communicate. And that's where Alpha.

Communication is going to come in. We'll figure out how, how to talk to him. How do you actually speak to the people that needs something from you and explain to them, "I can be this, but there is an impact on me if I'm this. I would also love you to be able to do this. However, I'm wondering if there's a way to do it without me having to do this so that we don't also hit this other wall. Are you willing to do this? Are you willing to do this?" Like, we'll figure out how to get it in communication.

But the difficult thing is when our partners behave like little kids, we immediately take on the mothering role, and that starts to chip into the intimacy immediately. It's very hard for a woman to feel sexually alive and attracted to a person who needs her to behave like a mother towards them. It, it just kills the intimacy immediately.

My question is, how can you apply the same thing with women who still carry a narrative that is not the truth? I found this especially in the industry of high influence women in the industry who promote cancel culture, if that makes sense. Whenever I see a person who really needs someone else to be punished, like cancel culture is basically, "I need you to be punished," I just see baby goddess. And so it's me being able to hold my power when I'm with a baby goddess. And if you remember that module, it's like, baby goddess activates baby goddess. So a lot of times you'll see these women that sound really powerful, that they've really just activated the badass, and they sound really strong, but it's really just baby goddess sounded the alarm and badass came in full charge. It's like, am I strong enough to not get swayed by that?

I see all of that behavior like little kids, just little girls wanting to make things equal and fair. Like, "She had more gummy bears than me, and I want vindication." Like, I see, I don't see it like power. I don't see it like, I don't see it that way, so it doesn't trigger me. I think, "Gosh, she's had so many unfair things happened in her life, and she wants someone to be punished for this behavior, and she should have no more friends, and no one should talk to her, and she should not be allowed to come to to the party ever again. We revoke her password, that she has no more friends." Then I feel right, and that feels better. So it's really like diminishing our attachment to other people's behavior. When we can see that is baby goddess with a badass activation, I am not getting attached to that. So it's like, that's their life. They're going to fight battles their whole life because they need things to be fair, or they're going to grow up into goddesses who can handle anything.

If they haven't taken fem fatal yet, or if they took it and I invalidated their entire life experience by saying that, "You don't need to punish everybody," and now they hate me for it, which has actually happened. I have had a hate thread that was like, "I took the fem fatal program, and this woman was trying to tell me that whenever I'm triggered, it's my responsibility." I'm like, "Yeah, that is definitely my stance. Like, that is my stance." But there are other stances out there that are like, "It's not your fault when you're triggered. It's somebody that triggered you, and you need to be able to cut those people out." So if you rather live by that, go live by that. But how is it going to help you to try to cancel me for my beliefs because I'm helping people believe the opposite than you, and that's not fair? It's like, "You're friends with the friend that's not my friend, so you can't be friends with me either." So can you just let people will be and just be like, "Look, we don't believe in the same things. Go do the thing you're doing over there. You don't need to cancel me 'cause I don't believe in the same thing."

"Oh yes, I do, because if I don't cancel you, people might listen to you, and if they listen to you, they might prefer you, and if they prefer you, I'll have less friends, and then I'll lose, and we cannot have that. So you'll be cancelled, baby goddess." If you can just see it that way, your whole life changes.

My question is, how can you uh, wait, wait, there's that one is three times the same one. Okay. The last one. I find it easy to summon and embody the energy of the goddess, and then I find that after some time, I forget and I go back to more unconscious presence. I wonder how you suggest working with this so that I sit that identity as my baseline and not just when I summon her.

It's going to take a moment, but even then, you will not always primarily be in goddess mode. The goddess is the least conducive energy. Like, if you just sit in goddess mode, you're not doing anything. In badass mode, and you're not, you're not leading anything. In boss mode, you're just like, "I like to have goddess day my Tuesday, my God, or my weekend, my goddess day. Tuesday is boss day, and then I have, you know, goddess weekend." But the fact is, I'm going to need the goddess when there's a conflict that arises. I'm going to need the goddess when something happens and I need to deal with it. Like the greatest, calmest version of me that I can. So at first, you do summon her, but eventually, something will happen, and the goddess will go, "Here's what, here's what we're doing." You won't need to go goddess. Yes, like you won't need to do that. She'll just be like, "Here's how you do it." Like the right archetype will respond.

And this is the difference between reaction and response. So the reason we summon her at first is because we're way more used to reacting than responding. And your reaction is, you're out of power, badass, the one who responds to Mom, like the one where there's a panic, there's an emergency, you need to come save me now. That's the fastest one. So your out of power badass is your reaction. In training the goddess, you train a response. And when women can respond instead of react, it's like a whole other world opens up. It's a totally different life when you are responding instead of reacting because you've got choice. There's space. You contemplate. You make a decision. You know, it's so wild because before, if I was at an argument with someone, the minute they would say something I didn't agree with, I would cut them off in the middle of their sentence before they even had a chance to finish it. What the goddess has allowed me to do is to let a person finish an entire sentence I don't agree with, and in all of my power say, "You see, I don't agree with that, and here's why." And then let them cut me off and listen to the whole thing where they cut me off and say, "Look, you did cut me off. I think this is going to go better if we let each other completely talk."

But to your point, here is my thing. I've been able to stay in goddess mode. I never would have been able to do that before. It would have been, "I'm cutting you off because what you're saying is not true." And then, while you, you're cutting me off, I'm making you wrong for cutting me off, although I cut you off. But I'm allowed to cut you off because I'm right. You can't cut me off because you're wrong. So I can't accept any of you cutting me off, but I'll cut you off. You know, the goddess is patient. I can let you have a rant that I don't agree with. It's not because I'm letting you speak that I agree with you, but I'm letting you speak. It changed everything for me. Response instead of reaction.

So as we deepen this program, a lot of pieces that where we are are going to get deepened. Like it's a compound effect. You know, it's not just like you learn this and then that part never matters again. It's like that part makes this part make more sense, and then these two parts make this part make more sense, and then these three parts make that part make more sense. There's a compound effect to this program. And there will be more opportunities for Q&A, but I just want you to tap more into your inner knowing and worry less about the right or the wrong thing. Like, you can't mess it up. You're on a training process. You're, you're learning. You're, you're surrendering into this. And the best part about this program really is the opportunity to learn, have things come up, and then process them in the processing parts. Just tomorrow, there will be another one. So again, 4:30 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. If you have a white candle, bring a white candle. Nicole's going to set an incredible process for you. Uh, and then we have another module coming. Like, there's so much goodness in this program. It's unbelievable. But you've got to let it stack instead of being like, "Wait, wait, I can't learn this yet. I'm still stuck there." It's like, see how it all comes together and surrender just a little bit more.

When we are able to handle ourselves through anything, we can handle everything. The things I've been able to handle in my life now, I just cannot imagine having been able to do this just a few years ago. The strength creates the strength to create the strength. The wisdom creates the wisdom to create the wisdom. It's like you become within the becoming. And so I do definitely recommend doing it in order. Yeah. Um, the only difference to that is if you're like, "I want to be in the live energy, is it going to destroy the program for me?" No, it won't. But if you ever feel like something's missing and you're stuck, go backwards. And you can also take the full program and then take it again. Be in the flow. Take it and be with it. And then take it in order. Like, let yourself train in this program. But every part makes you stronger. And that part makes you stronger. And that part makes you stronger. It's not like one plus one plus one. It's one times and then times and multiplication, multiplication. Then next, you expand your capacity. Just one day at a time. One move at a time. One healing at a time. So take good care of yourself today. I hope these questions landed. I know I spent a lot more time in the in the chat at the beginning, so it made it a longer Q&A, but I think there was a lot of value in answering those questions, so I'm glad that I did. I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day. Enjoy your healing session tomorrow, and I shall see you on Wednesday.

[Music]

She emerged from within me like a goddess from water. She filled her lungs with new air with a sigh that meant everything. Relief, rebirth, release. She took in the world around her with an understanding of its fragility and its strength. She let the waters of her past burn down her face. She took on a new name. She took on a new way. She became. Oh, she lives in me. She saved me. She is me.