Transcription
Hi gorgeous, glamorous girls, and welcome back to my YouTube channel! Or, if you're new here, welcome. My name is Scarlet. Thank you for joining us today. I wanted to do a sit-down, chatty, get-ready-with-me type video where I teach you guys how to be extremely [Music] [Applause] [Music] magnetic.
I feel like this is a really important skill to have as part of an overall glow-up. You can glow up your appearance, you can be looking as beautiful as possible on the outside, but you have to have that charisma about you, that magnetism, that makes everyone like you, that draws people to you. I have researched and I feel like tried to master this skill over many years, so I thought I would share with you guys everything that I know from listening to podcasts, studying certain characters like Serena van der Woodsen. I feel like Naomi from The Wolf of Wall Street is another very, like, magnetic type character. Anyway, I've compiled a list of 10 of my absolute best tips on how to be more charming and get people to like you, which is magnetism. And I'm going to get ready while I talk about this. I've had a lot of people asking to see my current makeup routine for, like, everyday, so that's what you're going to see while I talk about this. I think a big part of magnetism as well is, like, being approachable. Approachable. You don't want unapproachable makeup, you just want simple, sort of, girl-next-door, anyone can talk to me, but I still look really attractive kind of vibe. So that's the vibe that we try to give off with our makeup. Anyway, without further ado, let's get into my 10 tips. Before I start, if you're not subscribed to my channel already, make sure you subscribe so you can level up, glow up, and become your best self inside and out. We're all on this journey together.
Tip number one is to level up your compliments. You want to tailor them to the individual and make them really unique. What I mean by this is, it's one thing to compliment someone when you first meet them or when you first interact with them and say something like, "I love your outfit," "Wow, you're so pretty." Like, that's a generic compliment, okay? We want to make the compliments unique and tailored to the individual and ensure that you are giving a compliment that could not be recycled and reused with the person next to them and any other person you have a conversation with at that time. You have to identify something that sets them aside from everyone else in that room and compliment that thing. For example, you could say, "You have such a great sense of style," and then that would lead into asking a question, "Where's this from? This from who? Who's your style inspiration?" You would only give that compliment to someone who genuinely does have a really great sense of style and looks really fashionable. Another really great one, I think, is to compliment people's confidence and say something like, "You seem so confident. Where do you get your confidence from?" A compliment that leads into a question as well is always good because it's going to keep the conversation flowing. But the point is to make your compliments unique to the person. And before you give a compliment, ask yourself, "Could I recycle this same compliment with the people next to them?" And if the answer is yes, don't say that. Think of something more unique to the person. People love to be complimented. They're going to like you more if you give them compliments, and specifically compliments that seem really sincere, hence why they have to be tailored to the individual.
Tip number two is to flirt with everyone. Hear me out, because that sounds ridiculous, but this is what I mean by that. Don't just flirt with the people who you're interested in romantically. With guys, whatever, flirt with everyone. Flirt with people you have zero romantic interest in, and not in a romantic way at all. Start communicating with people as you would flirting. It does not have to be in a romantic way. Generally, flirting is kind of just like having a light, bubbly sort of conversation, giggling, being playful, sometimes lightly teasing people. Think of how you naturally flirt, and whatever that is, bring that into every conversation that you have. Because when you're flirting with someone, obviously you're trying to present your best, most likable self, and we normally reserve that side of us for people that we're romantically interested in only. But it shouldn't be like that. If you want people to like you, flirt with them, compliment them, maintain good eye contact with them, laugh, smile, lightly tease them. Presenting a giggly, bubbly sort of flirtatious side of your personality is going to make you likable in every situation. If you just commit to at least a week, seven days of flirting with everyone, flirt with the cashier, flirt with people in business, flirt with your doctor, flirt with whoever it is, a middle-aged woman down the street. Put on your best, most flirtatious, sort of bubbly, light-hearted, playful personality in every conversation that you are in with zero romantic intentions. It's forcing you to create this sort of magnetism about yourself. It's just kind of like throwing you in the deep end and forcing magnetism. So I would commit to just a week of flirting with everyone and see how it changes your communication with everyone around you and how people receive you.
Tip number three, and I kind of just touched on this, but maintain eye contact with everyone that you're speaking to. Eye contact is so important in conversations. Not only does it make you appear more attractive, which is obviously an important part of magnetism, it makes you appear more confident, and it shows that you're really interested in the person who is speaking to you, you're interested in what they're saying. If someone's telling you about themselves, about their day, about their life, whatever it is, and you're looking off to the side, you're looking up, you're looking down at your shoes, they're going to think you're not interested in what they're saying. And a part of being magnetic is people like you because you're interested in them. You make them feel special by showing, like, fully dedicated interest. So when someone's talking about themselves, particularly, do not break eye contact with them. Nod along, show that you're listening, show that you're interested in what they're saying, because it's going to make them feel interesting, and in turn, they're going to like you for making them feel that way. But with that being said, eye contact is also just important because it makes you more attractive. I don't know what it is about eye contact, but people are more attracted to those who they hold eye contact with. Being confident is attractive, and eye contact shows confidence. It is so important with connecting with the people that you're speaking to. Do not ever be the first to break eye contact.
Tip number four is, when you're having a conversation with someone, be fully present in the moment. Try not to appear distracted or like you have anywhere else to be. Make that person feel like they are the center of the universe during that conversation. You want to be actively listening to everything that they're saying. Keep your mouth closed when they're speaking to you. Don't interrupt them. Don't come in with your own shared experience or say anything to validate what they're saying. Just shut your mouth, look into their eyes, listen to what they're saying, be present. And of course, it's really important, you need to pay attention to what the person is saying to you. I think sometimes when we approach a conversation, we need to refocus and re-center ourselves to be really present in that moment. So figure out what works for you. I like to wiggle my toes. That kind of just, like, helps me to be grounded, like, "Okay, here I am. I'm right here in this moment." And sometimes we need something else to do. We can't just stand there and really pay attention. And sometimes it's important to just take a moment to breathe before we refocus on the person. Take a deep breath, focus on your breath, and then say, "Now I'm listening. Now I'm paying attention." Just take that little tiny moment to yourself before you enter a conversation. One deep breath, wiggle our toes, refocus on the person, and really listen to what they're saying to you. If you're really listening, it's going to help you to ask intelligent questions about what they're saying to show that you're listening.
Tip number five is really important. You want to convey familiarity. You want to make the person that you're speaking to feel like they have known you their whole lives, even if it's your first time ever meeting them and ever having a conversation with them. Approach every conversation as if you have known that person forever. Through this, by having a very warm and friendly demeanor, try not to be awkward and uncomfortable and act like you're meeting a stranger for the first time. Pretend, fake it till you make it. Pretend in your own brain, "Oh, I'm having a conversation with an old friend from years ago." It kind of just rushed straight into the conversation you would have with someone who you've already met, rather than doing all of the awkward formalities that we feel like we have to do with someone that we're meeting for the first time. This is going to make others feel very comfortable around you, which is the most important part about being magnetic is that people feel comfortable in your presence. If people feel uncomfortable speaking to you or being around you, they're not going to like you. But if they immediately feel welcomed, they feel comfortable, they feel like they can be themselves, they can talk about whatever, and it's a very friendly sort of vibe between you, they're going to like you immediately. And the best way to do that is by approaching the conversation like you have known this person your whole life.
Tip number six is to laugh and smile a lot in conversation. People just like people who have a good, vibrant, happy energy about them. People like positive people. They don't like sad sacks, sorry to put it that way. Even if you feel like you're not in a good mood, whatever, you don't have anything to be happy and laugh about, just pretend. Just fake it until you make it. People are going to like you a lot more if you're smiling a lot, if you're laughing, giggling, and you have like a light, vibrant, bubbly sort of personality. So train yourself to stop doing the resting bitch face. Smile at strangers across the room. Anytime you catch someone's eye, smile at them. You'll be surprised, a lot of the time people smile back and then we'll circle towards a conversation with you later on because you smiled across the room. They just think that you're friendly, they think you're approachable, and a nice person. People just like smiley, happy people.
Tip number seven kind of goes off the back of this. Resist the urge to speak badly about other people or about situations. No one likes a complainer, and no one likes a gossip. You could be at the worst party ever, but you should never be talking to people saying, "Oh my gosh, this is the worst party ever. This sucks." People are going to remember you in a negative kind of way, rather than, I mean, if you don't have anything good to say, just don't say anything. But I think that we should be praising publicly and criticizing privately. Do not speak badly about anyone. I don't care how awful they've been to you or how much they've wronged you, do not speak badly about others in conversation unless it's like with your very close inner circle in a very private setting. What you can do is praise, praise others around you. Even if you don't know someone, "Wow, look at that girl over there. I love her outfit." Or find something to compliment about the situation you're in. And maybe you're at a really bad party, but I don't know, maybe the food's good. So find something you can praise publicly. And instead of your first resort being to criticize, make your first resort some sort of praise.
Tip number eight, and this kind of contradicts everything I've just said, I know it's hard because obviously, if you're watching this video, you do care about if people like you and you want to be magnetic. The less you care, the more magnetic you will be. So you want to give off the vibe that you don't really care that much whether someone likes you, whether they hate you. You're secure in yourself, and it doesn't affect you. You need to stop worrying about if everyone likes you and instead worry about if you like them. You should approach every conversation with someone, whether it's a new friend, an old friend, someone you're meeting for the first time, or someone you have known forever, with a very lighthearted demeanor. It's very unserious. It's not life or death. It's not like, "Oh my God, if this person doesn't like me, I am going to be up all night thinking about it." It's unserious because you're so secure in yourself, you're confident in who you are, that you kind of feel like, "If they like me, great. If they don't, I'm fine." And people will like you more because you don't have this serious energy about you. Everything you do is effortless, it's unserious. So really, the less you care, the more magnetic you will be. And I know that's a contradiction. Just focus on loving yourself and being confident in yourself and who you are, and stop worrying about what anyone else thinks because everyone's just thinking about themselves. No one's really thinking about you anyway.
Tip number nine is, you want to try and convey genuine curiosity and engagement into your conversations with others. Say, for example, you're at school or you're at work, and you had a conversation with someone that was about a 10-minute conversation, and then you went on with your day. You both had work to do, you got on with work. An hour or two later, re-approach that person and bring up something that they said to you in that conversation a couple of hours ago. "I can't stop thinking about how you told me XYZ. I can't stop thinking about how, I don't know," say that they told you their weekend plans were to go to a music festival. "I can't stop thinking about you going to the music festival. I'm so excited for you. Have you thought about what you're going to wear yet?" That shows that you were genuinely so engaged and interested in that conversation. You remembered something that they told you and you followed up with it, and it's going to make you super likable because you're engaged in the other person, in what they're saying to you, and you have genuine curiosity about them, about their conversation, about their lives. I promise you, if you use that exact tactic of following up on a conversation, that person is going to really like you. Another way to show that you are genuinely curious and engaged in a conversation with another person is to use their name very frequently. People love the sound of their own name. It shows that your attention is fully directed at that one individual, and it just, it makes people feel special to hear their name as well, and the fact that you remember their name, you're using their name often. I don't know, it makes people feel special, and they're going to like you more.
Tip number 10 kind of summarizes everything that I just said to you. Start using the SHR method. That means Seen, Heard, Remembered method. And again, this is backed by psychology. I didn't make this up. In every conversation with another person, you want to make that person leave feeling that they were seen by you, they were heard by you, and they're remembered by you. So to make people feel seen, like I said before, eye contact, use their name, compliment something very specific about them visually. Then you want to make people feel heard, and you do this by active listening, listening and paying attention to what they're saying. Do all of those tips that I told you about, refocusing, wiggling your toes, taking deep breaths, focus on what that person is saying to you, and ask intelligent questions about what they're saying so that they know that they're heard. And that leads to remembered. And this one's a bit tricky. You could use the notes app in your phone to make some notes after a conversation with someone if it's someone who you really want them to like you, or just train yourself. I don't do notes app or anything like that. I've just trained myself to really pay attention when people are talking to me. So important that you make people feel remembered. So when you see that individual again, you have to bring up something that they told you or just something to show that you remembered what they were saying to you. Obviously, you need to remember the basic things about them, their name, where they live, what they do for a job, like what they study at school, whatever. Just reference a few of those things casually in conversation. And if you do those three steps, the SHR method, Seen, Heard, Remembered, everyone you have a conversation with is going to like you. You're going to be so magnetic. That is literally the cheat code.
And when you've put it that way, those 10 tips, like, it's not that difficult. The most important thing is, like, this stuff takes practice. It takes training. It takes rewiring your brain. It's not something that's going to come to you immediately. It's something that you need to work on and practice and try every single day. Use these pieces of advice wisely. Make people like you because you want to be a good person, you want to set a good example, and you want to be kind to others and be a kind, inclusive, nice person. If you're not already, make sure you subscribe to my channel for lots more advice, lots more girly tips. I will see you guys next week. I hope you all have a gorgeous, glamorous week, and thank you so much for watching. Bye!