Transcription
The desire to fit in is something that humans have deeply ingrained in their minds. You can see this as children begin to develop, how they eagerly want to mimic the other children around them. They want to impersonate and try to be like other people.
This tendency to fit in, or to want to fit in, it has its benefits on many occasions. But also, on other hands, it has harmful effects. Because sometimes, as you go throughout life, some of the things that you fit into before no longer serve where you're trying to go. And so many of these tendencies are there are kind of preventing you from realizing your potential. Many of the ideas, customs, beliefs become hindrances where once they may have served as a, an a benefit.
And so there was this young lady named Sandy who worked in a nursing home. And one day she came to work. And as she was helping one of her favorite clients, a 90-year-old man named Devon, he began to realize that there was something different about her behavior that day. And so he asked her. He said, "Sandy, what's going on with you today? I noticed that there's something different with you today. You're not acting as you usually act." And Sandy responded. She says, "Oh, there's nothing wrong."
And so Devon, he knows her, so he didn't believe that. He's been around her, he didn't believe that. And he decided to probe a little bit deeper and in a more inviting type of tone to try to get out what it is that she has hiding and that what, what's bothering her for the day. And so with some hesitation, Sandy eventually sat down and she began to express that she's been having some problems struggling with some of the ideas that she had been brought up with. To her, many of the ideas that she had been brought up with and the beliefs that she had weren't making a lot of sense. So she had been struggling with them for some time.
And the problem was is that she had a lot of these questions and concerns, but she didn't have anyone that she can go and ask. She was afraid of what people would think about her and she was scared of the criticism and the opinions of other people and what they might have felt towards her if she asked some of these questions. She said she felt like a slave to people's opinions and how she didn't know what to do and that it was almost like her being inside of a prison.
And when Devon was hearing all of this, he stuck his finger out in the middle of her talking and said, "Stop right there." He said, "The first thing I want to do is I want to congratulate you." Sandy says, "Congratulate me for what?" He says, "You've gotten to a point further than I have in the first 89 years of my life by doing something that took me 89 years to do." She said, "What is that?" He says, "Recognize and acknowledge that there was a problem." He says, "Now that you have recognized and acknowledge that there is a problem somewhere, he says that you're one of the people that could actually be helped."
"Now listen closely," is what he says afterwards. "When I was a child, I was given clothes, food, shelter, love. I was given all these things." He says, "He says I also was given a set of beliefs. Not only was I given a set of beliefs, but also all the people around me had these sets of beliefs and all of my friends had these sets of beliefs." And so as I became an older child, I went to go ask my parents about some of these beliefs that we had and some of these ideas that we had just to see if I can get some more understanding because I was a little bit more curious. And to my surprise, when I asked my parents some of these thought-provoking questions, I was scolded and also harshly criticized.
And so what happened to Devon is that Devon internalized what had happened and interpreted it in a certain way that told Devon that it was not okay to ask questions regarding certain subjects openly and that these subjects and questions were to be avoided. And so Devon did. Now, when Devon got around his peer group, if there were anyone in the group who then began to voice certain opinions and questions that went against certain beliefs, Devon then found himself repeating the same pattern of behavior that his parents displayed towards him. He would then find himself criticizing and scolding other people for asking certain questions. And this activity was a norm within that group all the way up into the latter years of Devon's life. This particular behavior was the accepted norm.
Then when Devon turned 89 years old, that's when Devon found himself in a strange predicament. And now that he had all this time alone, he began to ponder and he began to think deeply and reflect on his life. Many of the thoughts began to arise, ideas that he once had suppressed began to reemerge, questions on some of the beliefs that he had and he held and why he had some of those beliefs. He came to realize that many of the accepted beliefs that he had, he never understood why he accepted those beliefs. And on top of that, he began to realize that the people that he had received those beliefs from, they never really understood why they accepted those beliefs.
And so he put his head down and he began to really dwell on the fact of how much time he has spent living a prepackaged life. And the fact that he had been living this prepackaged life based on a four-letter word called fear. Fear to question norms, fear to question beliefs, fear of the unknown, fear of other people's opinions, fear of rejection. Many types and versions of fear is what he realized that had been in the way and had been the main cause of him living this prepackaged life.
So not only did Devon realize that his experiences and his potentials were suppressed because of the four-letter word fear, but also that his peer group and all the people he had known, all of their experiences and their potentials were also suppressed by that four-letter word called fear. And that each and every one of them were living a secret life fueled and ruled and conquered by that four-letter word called fear.
And so Devon lifted up his head and he looked at Sandy and he said with a strong voice, he said, "Listen to me right now. He says, all of the people that were around me, they all have died and so have their opinions." And he said, "I no longer have fear of being chastised or criticized because there's no one to do that around me. That's no longer my concern." But because this understanding took so many years of my life to come to grips with, I'm now left with an ever harassing enemy that dwells within my mind. And the name of that enemy is called regret.
And so he looks at Sandy and he says, "Take these words of insight and use them to break free of the chains of conformity while you can, or else you'll end up just as I am and you'll be best friends with sorrow." Some of the people will respect your decision and those are the people that will stay. Other people will depart. But to live your life in fear of other people's opinion, well, Sandy, that just isn't smart.
And so after Sandy heard the words of Devon, she was torn. She ended up leaving work that day and she was confronted with a reality and she had a lot of heavy decisions that needed to be made. So which option did Sandy choose? That's the question. Did she fall victim to the snares of fear, or did she harness the power within herself to become unafraid and face the problem head on and deal with it?
And the truth of the matter is, many of us are Sandy right now in some way or fashion within our own lives, facing many of the obstacles of conformity and fitting in. And some of us will take heed to the wise words of Devon, but many of us will eventually come to be known as a Devon. But through the power, power that each individual human has access to within their innermost being, you can shake the chains of fear and remove yourselves from the rulership of fear by tapping in and harnessing the opposing power, which is becoming unafraid, facing obstacles head-on and dealing with it, increasing our levels of understanding.
And especially in this, in this uh particular circumstance, by realizing that opinions will die out, they change, they vary from one moment in time to another. Many people have opinions and sets of beliefs that they hold dear to, but the reality is, they hold dear to those beliefs because there's an underlying fear that keeps them trapped within there. And so when someone harnesses the power of being unafraid and releases themselves from those traps, it begins to reflect a certain weakness to many other people. And then they take that weakness out in a form of opinion and trying to get someone to come and conform to that idea that they have always been used to.
So when you let the power of fear, which is a power, when you let the power of fear take control of your life, many of the times you don't get to realize your own self to the fullest extent that you could. And when that happens, you run into the wall as you become older in age. And that, and that wall there makes you have to look back in your entire life on what some of the things you could have done differently. And then from there, that's when you get to live with the enemy of regret.
And so when you have opportunities to face fears, it's better to face fears and deal with, deal with backlash or whatever it has to happen at that moment, than to wait until the latter years when there's almost nothing that you can do and have to deal with regret. So being unafraid is a very powerful trait that can be harnessed and used to break free of having to conform to something that may not fit with what it is you want in your life. But the choice is ultimately up to you.
So this is oology, the earned insights of the erise. And unafraid is just one of the traits, powers that make up the earthqu name. It's one of the powers that we use when we're dealing with confronting obstacles that fear may be what's in the way, trying to to block us from getting past that obstacle. And we have to overcome it using the polarized opposite of whatever is in the way. So being unafraid is the way that we are able to push through, which allows us to realize our own potential self. Because like I said, many people are held back because of fear, so it doesn't allow you to continue to grow.
One of the ways fear is harnessed, it is with people in groups holding on to certain beliefs and not allowing other people to question those things. And if you're questioning certain things, you may be met with a form of resistance or criticism. And so sometimes you have to harness that power of being unafraid and deal with the consequences up front rather than dealing with them later on down the line. Because there's a price to pay whichever way you go. It just depends on which price do you want to pay.
Okay, so hopefully you've learned something in this video. I want to thank you for watching. Uh, my name is Brooklyn St. Michael, and I'll see you on the next one.