سلاح النكد - الحلقة 13

[Music] After our master Ishmael, peace be upon him, got married, his father, our master Abraham, peace be upon him, came to visit him but did not find him at home. He asked his wife about him, and she said, "He went out to seek sustenance for us." He asked about their livelihood, and she said, "We are people, we are in hardship and distress." She complained to him. He said, "When your husband comes, give him my greetings and tell him to change the threshold of his door." When our master Ishmael, peace be upon him, came, he felt something was amiss, as if someone had visited. He asked, "Did anyone come to you?" She said, "Yes, an old man came, and so and so. He asked about you, and I told him. He asked me how our livelihood was, and I told him we are in hardship and distress." He said, "Did he instruct you to do anything?" She said, "Yes, he ordered me to give you his greetings and to say, 'Change the threshold of your door.'" He said, "That was my father, and he ordered me to divorce you. Take your family and leave." So he divorced her. Then he married another woman. Then our master Abraham came a second time and did not find our master Ishmael, peace be upon them both. He asked his wife about him, and she said, "He went out to seek sustenance for us, to look for us." He asked, "How are you?" He asked her about their livelihood and their condition. She said, "We are in good circumstances and abundance," and she praised God, the Blessed and Exalted. He said, "When your husband comes, give him my greetings and tell him to keep the threshold of his door firm." When our master Ishmael, peace be upon him, came, he asked, "Did anyone come to you?" She said, "Yes, an old man of good appearance came to us," and she praised him. He asked me about you, and I told him. He asked me how our livelihood was, and I told him, "We are well." Ishmael said, "Did he instruct you to do anything?" She said, "Yes, he sends you his greetings and orders you to keep the threshold of your door firm." He said, "That was my father, who orders me to keep you and not to leave you." Ibn Hajar said, "His saying, 'the threshold of your door,' is a metaphor for the wife. 'Keep the threshold of your door firm' is a metaphor for the wife. He named her thus because of the qualities she possesses: guarding the door, fasting for the sake of the House, and what is inside this door. The wife guards the door and preserves the home. The threshold of the house is a metaphor for the wife who guards and preserves her home. It is not appropriate for spouses to have the private matters of their home exposed to people, with complaints and distress. Thank God for what you have, and thank God for what you have. Do not make nagging your way of venting, nor your way of getting what you want. Indeed, God gives through gentleness what He does not give through harshness." Thus said the Messenger of God, may God's prayers and peace be upon him. There is a great difference between a husband who considers his wife a refuge where he can relax and one whose dealings with her are as if she is a source of threat if he does not do what she wants. Then let him prepare himself for days of nagging. And if he asks, "What is wrong with you?" the answer is, "Nothing." And there is a difference between a wife who finds comfort and tranquility with her husband and a wife who does not know whether today's dealings will be gentle or harsh. Yes, married life has pressures, and one may be affected by them. But in reality, does the burden lighten when one resorts to nagging and to being sullen? We too felt pressures. Asma, may God be pleased with her, the daughter of Abu Bakr, may God be pleased with her, said, "Al-Zubayr ibn al-Awwam, may God be pleased with him, married me. He had no wealth on earth, no slaves, and nothing but his camel and his horse." She said, "I used to feed his horse and manage its affairs. I would tie it, tether it, untether it, and wash it. I would fetch water and carry the large leather bucket. When it tore, I would mend it. I would knead, and I was not good at baking. My neighbors from the Ansar would bake for me. We were women of truth. I would carry the date pits from the land of Al-Zubayr, which the Messenger of God, may God's prayers and peace be upon him, had granted him, on my head. She would carry the date pits on her head and transport them. She said, and it was two-thirds of a farsakh away from me." Why did she do this? The reason that made her patient was that her husband and her father were busy with what the Prophet, may God's prayers and peace be upon him, commanded them, and they were not free to attend to household matters themselves. So the women would suffice the men from the burden of the household and what was in it, so that they could be occupied with what they were in, in support of Islam. Asma did not make nagging her slogan, nor was complaining what she always spoke about. Fatima complained about what her hands suffered from the mill. Using the mill sometimes affects the hands, even when one grinds grains. So she asked her father, the Messenger of God, may God's prayers and peace be upon him, for a servant. He said to her and to our master Ali, "Shall I not guide you to something better than what you asked for? When you go to bed, or when you go to your bed, then glorify God thirty-three times, praise God thirty-three times, and say God is Great thirty-four times." He said, may God's prayers and peace be upon him, "It is better for you than a servant." One resorts to the remembrance of God and engages in what helps him. He does not make nagging and complaining his means of dealing with these pressures. Yes, a woman is not a servant to her husband, nor is she his slave. And the husband should win her heart and treat her well. But if a woman enters into this matter thinking that every day will be full of joy, happiness, bliss, and comfort, then she will become contrary to inspiration. Do good for the sake of God, the Blessed and Exalted, and reward your wife with good for the sake of God, the Blessed and Exalted, even if it is something that one might consider small. And from Abu Dharr, may God be pleased with him, that he said, the Prophet, may God's prayers and peace be upon him, said, "Do not belittle any good deed, even if it is meeting your brother with a cheerful face." "Do not belittle it" means do this good deed and do not miss out on acquiring these good deeds. Your smile in your brother's face is charity. Your smile in your wife's face and your smile in your husband's face, God willing, will open doors for you, and you will see its blessings in your life. We ask God, the Exalted, to set our affairs right and to make our matters easy. Praise be to God, and may God's prayers and peace be upon His Messenger. Ramadan is a lifetime opportunity, a light in the expanse of time, and it reflects the gentleness of the river. In it is the Night of Decree, a beacon in our evenings, and it erases our sorrows and flows in our eyes. And from it is the splendor of dawn.