Transcription
[Music] We're going through the book of Proverbs chapter by chapter, verse by verse. And today we come to Proverbs chapter 18, which contains proverbs on a lot of different subjects and topics. Yet there are several proverbs within this chapter that have to do with wisdom in getting along with other people. So we'll give that general heading to this chapter.
But we do it with the understanding that Proverbs chapter 18 is part of a larger section in the book of Proverbs running basically through chapter 10 to 22 that present a collection of one verse, two line sayings of wisdom. These sayings of wisdom should guide our lives in a real, although general sense, and they should be understood and applied in their appropriate conditions. So let's take a look here starting now at verse 1 of Proverbs 18.
The proverb reads, "A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire. He rages against all wise judgment." To cut one's self off from family, friends, and community is often to express a selfish desire. It shows an unwillingness to make the small and sometimes their large sacrifices that we all must make in order to get along with others. It can be rightly and wisely said, "A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire." And then it says in the second line, "He rages against all wise judgment."
Now understand that God has designed humanity after his own triune nature. In other words, God designed us to live in community. There has been a community of sorts in the Godhead from all eternity past. God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, all dwelling together, one God in three persons, but there is at least some aspect of community within the persons of the Trinity. Well, again, we are designed in the same pattern. And the instinct that many people have for what you might call excessive isolation, that instinct must not be overindulged. It is against all wise judgment. I know that many of us are introverts and we kind of like being alone and there's a place for that. I'm not saying there's zero place for that in life. No, there certainly is. But again, a man who isolates himself seeks his own desire. He rages against all wise judgment. Friends, beware of excessive isolation. Maybe you're the kind of person somewhat like me. I tend to charge my batteries, so to speak. I kind of gain energy from being alone, and I sort of spend energy by being with others. Well, I I don't want to be in the place where I'm never spending that energy with other people because it's good and it's appropriate to do. Again, I'll just read the proverb one more time. Listen to it carefully. Listen to it with your heart. "A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire. He rages against all wise judgment."
I like what G. Kimmel Morgan said about this proverb. He said the protest of this proverb is against the self-satisfaction which makes a man separate himself from the thoughts and opinions of others. Such a one finally rages against or quarrels with all sound wisdom. Friends, there's a lot we can learn from other people and so we should beware of any instinct to over-isolate ourselves from other people.
Proverbs 18:2, "A fool has no delight in understanding, but in expressing his own heart." The wise man or woman has great satisfaction in knowledge, in understanding, and in wisdom. Now, this is not so with the fool. The fool finds no delight in wisdom, but only in expressing, as the second line says, his own heart. What does delight the fool is expressing his own heart. If he asks questions, it's just to show how clever he is rather than really to learn. The fool is focused on self instead of God or others. And the fool's folly flows from this wrong priority and the wrong place to find delight. No wonder that John Trap, that Puritan commentator, said, "It is easier to deal with 20 men's reasons than with one man's will." That's certainly true when it comes to dealing with the fool who has no delight in understanding but really only in expressing his own heart.
Proverbs 18:3, "When the wicked comes, contempt comes also, and with dishonor comes reproach." The wicked brings contempt with them. What is contempt? Well, it's a proud, superior attitude that thinks itself better than others and looks at other people who are thought to be lesser than them. It looks at them with scorn. Yet, it can also be said that contempt follows the wicked because God will soon scorn those who scorn others. When the wicked comes, contempt comes also. It goes with them and it comes after them. And don't miss the second line of Proverbs 18:3 which says, "And with dishonor comes reproach." The wicked brings insults, that is reproach, upon those they consider to be dishonorable. Do you know people like that? They always think they're better than others. They're always insulting other people. Well friends, that's a wicked attitude of heart and it brings contempt, and contempt from God will follow it.
Proverbs 18:4, "The words of a man's mouth are deep waters. The wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook." The idea here is not that everyone's speech is deep and meaningful. I mean, that's the first line. The words of a man's mouth are deep waters. No, the idea is is that we will reveal the depths of our heart by the words of our mouth. Whatever's in your heart, whatever's in your mind, it's probably going to come out in your words at some times or another. And therefore, the wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook. When the wellspring of a man's being is rooted in wisdom, well then it will flow out in their words. I like what Adam Clark had to say about this. He said that is the wise sayings of a wise man are like deep waters. However much you pump or draw off, you do not appear to lessen them. You know what it's like at the ocean or even a big lake. Even if you were to draw out or pump out a lot of water, it doesn't seem like the water level goes down at all. That's how it is with the wisdom of a wise man. And it's our words that reveal the depths of our heart.
Proverbs 18:5, "It is not good to show partiality to the wicked or to overthrow the righteous in judgment." Now the truth of this proverb is obvious to any person who has a true moral compass. It points in the right direction. Yet there are many reasons why someone might be tempted to show partiality to the wicked. Many people today show partiality to the wicked out of misplaced compassion or out of a desire to please other people. Sometimes people do it because of some kind of bribe, whether it's a direct bribe or something that's more indirect, or there may be many other reasons why people today would want to show partiality to the wicked. Now, Adam Clark well says about this. We must not in judicial cases pay any attention to a man's riches, influence, friends, offices, etc., but judge the case according to its own merits. Well, he's a wicked man, but he has a lot of money. Don't show partiality to him. Well, he's a wicked man, but he's of a protected class. Don't show partiality to him. Well, he's a wicked man, but he has influential friends. Don't show partiality to him. So it's not good to show partiality to the wicked or as the second line says to overthrow the righteous in judgment. When someone shows partiality to the wicked, they will also overthrow the righteous in judgment. Whether they intend to or not, each aspect of injustice is sin. It's sin to show partiality to the wicked and it's also sin to overthrow the righteous. Charles Bridges, that commentator on Proverbs, he put it like this: "For justice to happen, the cause must be heard, not the person. Let the person be punished for his wickedness, not the wickedness be covered for the person's sake. When one is partial to the wicked, the rights of God are despised and the claims of his justice are thrown away." My friends, this is a true principle and needs to be taken more seriously in our modern day and age.
Proverbs 18:6, "A fool's lips enter into contention, and his mouth calls for blows." It is in the nature of the fool to argue. Their words often bring them into contention. So his lips, the words that he speaks, the communication that he gives, that is always entering into fighting and arguing. But what about his mouth? His mouth calls for blows, for a smack in the face, the the a punch from the fist. You see, the contentious words of the fool invite punishment. And sometimes the punishment will be physical correction, the the blows or the strikes of a rod of correction.
Proverbs 18:7, "A fool's mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul." The words of the fool show his folly, but they also work towards his destruction. Many a fool has been ruined because of his foolish words. That's why it says in the second line, his lips are the snare of his soul. Now, as in most places in the book of Proverbs, snare here speaks of the life-being of the fool. It includes the inner spiritual self, but it isn't restricted to it. The the fool's life is trapped, caught in a snare by his foolish words.
Proverbs 18:8, "The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, and they go down into the inmost body." The gossip, whispering, and evil reports that are brought by the talebearer. That's the person of interest here in Proverbs 18:8. The gossip and whispering and evil reports brought by the talebearer are almost always impossible to resist. We want to hear them. And even those people who should know better find it difficult to tell the talebearer to stop talking. Have you ever heard the phrase, "If you don't have anything good to say about somebody, then don't say anything"? Well, somebody made a clever twist on that saying and they said basically, "If you don't have anything good to say to about anybody, then come sit right next to me." There's sort of that tendency within us, is there not? And the importance of this proverb is expressed in its repetition. This proverb is repeated later in Proverbs chapter 26:22. Look, there's something about the words of the talebearer, the gossip, the person who gives us juicy, entertaining tidbits about the lives and often the faults and sins of other people. Man, we love to hear it. Yet, the damage that the talebearer brings is great. John Trap in his commentary described some of that damage. He said this: "He that takes away a man's good name kills him alive and ruins him and his posterity, being herein worse than Cain. For he, in killing his brother, made him live forever and eternalized his name." There's some wisdom what John Trap said there. You know, even when Cain killed Abel, we remember Abel as a noble martyr for the truth, a man who pleased God by his faith, as Hebrews chapter 11 tells us. But the talebearer, the gossip, the whisperer, the one who loves to spread juicy tidbits of bad information, whether it's true or not, friends, that person does a lot of damage to somebody's reputation. Bruce Waltke puts it like this. Unlike the fool's insolent speech that hurts himself in hurting others, gossip destroys the relationship of others, even the closest of friends. That's why it's true what it says here in verse 8. "The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, and they go down into the inmost body." When we receive the words of a talebearer, they normally have an effect on us. When something is received by you and going down into your inmost body, even if you can't perceive it, it has an effect on you. And the words that we hear, those juicy tidbits of gossip and whispering campaigns, they go down into us and often change the way that we think and that we feel about people. Even if what the uh talebearer says isn't true or at least isn't confirmed, God gave a strong word regarding the confirmation of testimony, saying, "Let every word be established by two or three witnesses." And once we start eating these tasty trifles, it's hard to stop. Instead of eating the tasty trifles of the talebearer, I think Jeremiah, and this was mentioned by Bruce Walke in his commentary, Jeremiah gives us a better example. Jeremiah ate God's word and he delighted in it. That's in Jeremiah 15:16. That's what we should be. Instead of feasting on the tasty trifles of the talebearer, spend more time in God's word.
Proverbs 18:9, "He who is slothful in his work is a brother to him who is a great destroyer." Now friends, there are times when entertainment or leisure can perhaps be excused. You could say there's time when we have permission to be lazy. You're on vacation. You're on your day off, your Sabbath, so to speak. You're you're you're at a time of rest. Oh, no. We understand that. But that's not what this proverb is talking about. It doesn't say he who is slothful on the Sabbath. It doesn't say he who is slothful on his vacation. No. What does it say? He who is slothful in his work. There's never an excuse to be lazy or slothful in work. You know, we previously noted this in Proverbs 15:19, but I'll repeat it again. Laziness is a sin in at least three ways. I don't limit it to these three ways, but here are three clear ways that laziness is a sin. Number one, laziness is theft because you live off the work of other people. Number two, laziness is selfishness. You live for yourself and your own comfort. And number three, laziness is a neglect of duty. You don't do what you should do. Therefore, "He who is slothful in his work is a brother to him who is a great destroyer." You know, we often think of laziness as a fairly innocent sin. But it is not. The lazy man is a close associate, a brother to the one who brings great destruction. Uh G. Camel Morgan put it like this. It means that in life there can be no neutrality. Every man lives in the midst of a conflict between good and evil. He must and does take part therein. If he is not helping Jehovah against the mighty, he is helping the mighty against Jehovah. It's going to be one or the other. And Morgan also noted this principle in other biblical passages. In other words, uh Jesus said, "He that doesn't gather with me scatters." In other words, if you're not working with Jesus, you're working against him. And then Morgan also brought this up that James in his letter said that the one who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin. Friends, if a person were to be given management over a very large property, a company, a home, or an estate, and they were to ruin that property, they ruined it through vandalism. They they ruined it through destruction. Well, then we take a look at them and we say, "Oh, they're a great destroyer. Look at the destruction that they did. They they they tore down that building. They they ruined this. They wrecked that." Yet if that same person allows that business, that property, that estate to fall into disrepair and uselessness through neglect and through laziness, they also are a great destroyer. They just did it another way. Friends, laziness destroys. All right, before I leave this verse, let me remind you one more time. This isn't talking about taking legitimate rest or recreation. Notice what it says. "He who is slothful in his work." Brothers and sisters, when it's time to work, work. And don't be lazy about it. If you're lazy in your work, you are an associate of the great destroyer.
Proverbs 18:10, "The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous run to it and are safe." God provides a wonderful and strong defense. And this is rooted not in a magical saying of the name of God as if it were a charm or a spell, but no, it's rooted in the fact that the name of the Lord is a declaration of his character, his person, in all that he is and all that he stands for. Yahweh, that is the Lord, is a strong tower. Therefore, the name of the Lord is a strong tower. And because the name of Yahweh represents his character in all of its aspects, the believer can think about the aspects of God's character and find a strong, safe refuge in them. It can be as simple as this: Lord, you you are a God of love, so I find refuge in your love. Lord, you are a God of mercy, so I find refuge in your mercy. Lord, you are a God of strength, so I find refuge in your strength. Lord, you are a God of righteousness, so I find refuge in your righteousness. All of these things collectively and so much more are like a strong tower that we can find refuge in in the Lord when times are difficult, when there's crisis crashing upon us. "The name of the Lord is a strong tower." And I like what Charles Bridges, the commentator, had to say about this. He said this: "Within these walls, which of us needs to worry that the sharpest arrow can harm us? We realize our security from external trouble as we exercise our faith. We are safe from God's avenging justice, safe from the curse of the law, safe from sin, from condemnation, from the second death." No, people, that is a strong tower. And I love the second line of this proverb. "The righteous run to it and are safe." God invites all to find refuge in his name. Whoever calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. That's in Joel 2:32 and in Acts 2:21. It's also found in Romans 10:13. God put it three times in the scriptures so we would all know it. "Whoever calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." Now those who humbly run to God and find refuge with him are his righteous ones. And so it is the righteous who run to it. Again, John Trap put it like this. All creatures run to their refuges when hunted. Run therefore to God by praying and not fainting. This is the best policy for security. Uh have you ever seen a rabbit run for its little den? Have you ever seen a bird find refuge in its nest? Even a fish will find a place around the rocks that is its own refuge. Friends, creatures run to their refuges when they're hunted. When you feel like you're hunted and stressed and bothered, run to the Lord. Run to the name of the Lord and find refuge in his character, in the greatness of his person. I'll add one more thought to this by Charles Spurgeon. He thought about that phrase, "they run to it." And this is what he said: "This running appears to me to imply that they have nothing to carry. A man who has a load, the heavier the load may be, the more will he be impeded in his flight. But the righteous run like racers in the games who have thrown off everything. Their sins they leave to mercy and their righteousness to the moles and bats." I like that idea by Spurgeon. The fact that the righteous run to it and are saved gives the implication that they have nothing in their hands. They're not holding on to their sins. They're not holding on to their own perceived righteousness. They're not holding on to their cares and concerns. They they let all of that go and they run to the Lord empty-handed to receive the safety that he has to give to them.
Proverbs 18:11, "The rich man's wealth is his strong city and like a high wall in his own esteem." Now the previous proverb, verse 10, told us that the righteous find their strong tower in God and in his character. Here in verse 11, we find a rich man who sees his own wealth as his own strong city. Uh so the man who trusts in his riches, and we take that to be the sense here in verse 11. It's not merely that this person is rich, but they find in their riches their own strong city. You see, he's only rich in material things, but he's not rich in God. He finds his refuge in wealth. Such a man who trusts in his own riches has no refuge when those riches fail. Instead, his own riches are like a high wall in his own esteem. To give the second line of verse 11, you see, the rich man sees his wealth as safe and sure, as secure as a high wall around a strong city. Yet, this is only in his own esteem. Both the Lord and the wise man or woman, they know that wealth is not truly a strong city. It's not truly a high wall. Dwayne Garrett commented this on this proverb. Wealth does afford a measure of protection, but the danger of wealth is precisely that it gives its possessor the illusion of greater security than it can provide. Oh, that is true.
Proverbs 18:12, "Before destruction, the heart of a man is haughty, and before honor is humility." Since pride leads the way to destruction, we saw that back at Proverbs chapter 16 verse 18. Since pride leads the way to destruction, we should expect that the haughty heart is ready to receive its just destruction. Spurgeon said it like this. There is no wisdom in a self-exaltation. Other vices have some excuse for men seem to gain by them. Avarice, pleasure, lust have some plea. But the man who is proud sells his soul cheaply. All is nothing for one puff of empty wind, one word of sweet applause, the soul is gone and not a drop is left. Friends, before destruction, the heart of man is haughty. Now look at the second aspect here of Proverbs 18:12 where it says, "And before honor is humility." Wise people know that humility leads the way to honor. If you want destruction, be haughty. But if you want honor, show humility. And again, I'll quote Spurgeon one more time. It is not humility to underrate yourself. Humility is to think of yourself, if you can, as God thinks of you. Friends, don't get this twisted idea of what humility is. Humility is not being good at something and then pretending or saying that you're not. Let's say you're really good at playing the guitar. I I can't play any musical instrument, but I know people who are wonderful guitar players. There you are. You're good at playing the guitar. Humility is not saying, "Oh, I'm not good at playing the guitar." No. Humility is just being real about it, being grateful that God gave you the talent and the willingness to work at it and then praising God for it all. It's not to underrate yourself as Spurgeon said, but as the best you're able to think of you as God thinks of you. And of course, if we want an example of this truth, "before honor is humility," we look to the glorious example of Jesus Christ. Philippians 2:1-10 puts it so powerfully how Jesus embraced the lowest levels of humility, extending even to the depths of death on a cross, but then God highly exalted him and gave him the name which is above every name, and that ultimately at the name of Jesus every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father. That humility and exaltation of Jesus. That is the greatest and purest example of this principle, "before honor is humility."
Proverbs 18:13, "He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him." It is common to give a quick, impulsive answer to questions and problems. It's easy to respond without thinking or without hearing the full story. Sometimes we're more interested in what we hope to say next than what the matter before us really is. But friends, "he who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him." To whatever extent that we do this, it's foolish and shameful. I like what Adam Clark said about this. He said, "There are many also that give judgment before they hear the whole of the cause and express an opinion before they hear the state of the case. How absurd, stupid, and foolish." That quote from Adam Clark, he's really telling us how he thinks about that. But it is foolish. It's folly because it is a wrong or misguided answer or likely is, and it's a shame because we don't represent ourselves well when we do this. No friends, it is true. "He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him." Don't be so quick to share your opinion, to give your take, to express your thoughts on a matter. Wait, consider, hear more than one side. Let time give a little more information on the matter. Don't be guilty of both foolishness and fall into shame.
Proverbs 18:14, "The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness, but who can bear a broken spirit?" There have been many people who have labored long under sickness. Yet I know believers who even under periods of long illness or injury, sometimes severely so, they have felt themselves sustained, sometimes miraculously so, by the strength of their spirit. Charles Bridges put it like this. He said, "Christian principle strengthens natural strength. Outward troubles are bearable. Yes, more than bearable if there is peace within." Yes, "the spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness. But who can bear a broken spirit?" Friends, when the spirit is broken, instead of giving life, it proves to be something that few people can bear. Let me read to you an extended quote from Charles Spurgeon. Spurgeon was a man who suffered with some chronic sickness and illness throughout his life. He actually died fairly young in his mid-50s uh because of these chronic illnesses and occasional injuries. So he knew firsthand what he was talking about. Spurgeon said this: "There are some who have been greatly wounded, no doubt, through sickness. A wounded spirit may be the result of diseases which seriously shake the nervous system. Let us be very tender with brethren and sisters who got into that condition. I have heard some say rather unkindly, 'Sister so and so is nervous. We can hardly speak in her presence.' Yes, but talking like that will not help her. There are many persons who have had this trying kind of nervousness greatly aggravated by the unkindness or thoughtlessness of friends. It is a real disease. It is not imaginary. Imagination no doubt contributes to it and increases it. But still there is a reality about it. There are some forms of physical disorder in which a person lying in bed feels great pain through another person simply walking across the room. Oh, you say that is more imagination. Well, you may think so if you like, but if you are ever in that painful condition, as I have been many a time, I will warrant that you will not talk in that fashion again." Spurgeon, commenting on this phrase, "who can bear a broken spirit," encourages us, you, me, to have maybe more compassion upon those who are sick, injured, who have some sort of chronic illness, to be encouraging to them rather than discouraging.
Proverbs 18:15, "The heart of the prudent acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge." The wise desire more wisdom, and they know how to get it. They show their prudence, that is wisdom, by seeking and getting more knowledge. "The heart of the prudent acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge." Wise men and women seek after wisdom with all their being, with their heart, with their ear. They are given over to the pursuit of more wisdom. This is why in a general sense, the wise become more wise or wiser, and the fool becomes more foolish.
Proverbs 18:16, "A man's gift makes room for him and brings him before great men." A previous proverb, Proverbs 17:8, spoke of a present in the sense of a bribe. The Hebrew word was the same word for a bribe, but a different Hebrew word is used here. This proverb is a simple recognition of fact that generosity and politeness will open many doors. "A man's gift," and again, this is not the Hebrew word used for a bribe. "A man's gift makes room for him." If you're interested on that Hebrew word, Allan Ross says this: "Matan or gift is more general than bribe. Here the proverb simply says that a gift can expedite matters but it says nothing about bribing judges." So as verse 16 says, "A man's gift makes room for him and brings him before great men." It is true that a gift can be effective in gaining an audience of even great men. We are grateful that no gift is required for us to come before the greatest man. Do you want to come before the greatest man who ever lived? Friends, that's Jesus Christ, undeniably, indisputably. You don't have to bring a gift. You don't have to pay or or or give something for any kind of access. No, Jesus Christ offers his work as a mediator completely without cost. We come to him just as we are with our empty hands, and we can come into the presence of the greatest of men. Charles Bridges put it like this: "Blessed be God. We do not lack any gifts to bring before him. Our welcome is free. The door of access is forever open. Our treasure of grace in his unchanging favor is unfathomable."
Proverbs 18:17, "The first one to plead his cause seems right until his neighbor comes and examines him." This is a strong and familiar principle. When we hear the first side of a dispute or a debate, we often think that the first one to plead his cause seems right, and we're quick to take their side against the other. Don't be so quick, my friend, because wisdom understands the second line of here, Proverbs 18:17, "until his neighbor comes and examines him." You see, the judgment is often very different when the other side is heard from his neighbor. The second voice may confront the first one to plead his cause and give both sides to the story. Adam Clark said this: "Any man may in the first instance make out a fair tale because he has the choice of circumstances and arguments. But when the neighbor comes and searches him, he examines all, dissects all, swears and cross-questions every witness, and brings out truth and fact." Friends, this proverb has a real application to our judicial system. Now, obviously, it goes far beyond the judicial system, but consider what Proverbs 18:17 would have to say about our judicial system. "The first one to plead his cause seems right until his neighbor comes and examines him." It's not just that the neighbor presents their side of the story, but they actually examine the first one who presents his case. Bruce Walkey put it like this. Thus, the proverb teaches the equality of disputants and instructs the disciple not only to hear both sides of an argument, but to demand direct cross-examination before rendering a decision. So, this is more than hearing both sides of the story. It's allowing, for example, the accused to ask questions of the accuser, and that there be a legitimate back and forth. Now, with this principle in mind, it's important not only that we apply this, of course, to our judicial system, not only that we apply it to our personal relationships and evaluations of other people, but also that we argue for and defend biblical truth in a way that can stand before the examination of other people. It's possible for people to give arguments for the Christian faith that sound convincing, but they can be easily exposed or answered by an adversary. And people who do that do no good in defending and advancing God's kingdom.
Proverbs 18:18, "Casting lots causes contentions to cease and keeps the mighty apart." When there is an argument or a dispute, appealing to an outside authority to solve the matter can make contentions to cease. In this case, the outside authority is the casting of lots. But that principle can be applied to other agreed-upon authorities. So when there's contention between two people, how are you going to decide it? Is it going to be person one or person two? Well, sometimes the way to solve it is to not take person one's case or understanding or person two's, but to go to an outside authority. Here the outside authority is the casting of lots. "Casting lots causes contentions to cease and keeps the mighty apart." When an outside authority settles the contention, it can keep mighty warriors from fighting and from killing each other.
Proverbs 18:19, "A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city. And contentions are like the bars of a castle." Friends, there is a price to pay in offending a brother. To win that brother back to friendship and cooperation is difficult. It's often more difficult than we ever think. Therefore, we should avoid offending our brother and do it only if it's necessary. And then when we do it, doing all that we can to be blameless so that whatever offense is taken is actually because of him and not because of us. I I I like what Adam Clark had to say about this. He said, "If we take the words according to the common version, we see them express what alas we know to be too generally true. That when brothers fall out, it is with extreme difficulty that they can be reconciled. And fraternal enmities are generally strong and inveterate." That's why it says here in the second line of Proverbs 18:19, "contentions are like the bars of a castle." The conflict and contentions that come from a brother offended can be as difficult to break as the bars of a castle. They also may imprison those people caught in the contentions. I like what Charles Bridges quoted from John Chrysostom. Here's the quote. Chrysostom gives this rule: "Have but one enemy, the devil. With him never be reconciled. With your brother, never fall out."
Proverbs 18:20, "A man's stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth. From the produce of his lips, he shall be filled." For some people, it's possible for them to make their living by what they say. Now, I've lived most of my life as a Bible preacher, teacher, a pastor. You could say that in some sense that my stomach has been satisfied by the fruit of my mouth. And such people can do this. They satisfy their stomach and perhaps the stomachs of their family from what they say, the fruit of their mouth. And that's why it says there in the second line, "From the produce of his lips, he shall be filled." You you see for those people, what they say will fill their stomach and fulfill their financial obligations. But at the same time, this proverb, and I'm going to quote Bruce Waltke here. This proverb forces the thought that whatever a person dishes out, whether beneficial or harmful, he himself will feed on it to full measure through what his audience in return dishes out to him. In other words, if you've been dishing out ill and evil and contention and scorn from your lips, from your mouth, then maybe that's what you're going to get back from other people.
Proverbs 18:21, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." The previous proverb said how what a man speaks could provide for his stomach. But here the idea is extended to remind us that the tongue not only has the power of provision, at least for some people, but also it has the power of life and death. Alan Ross in his commentary says that the midrash, that's a Jewish commentary on the scriptures, the midrash mentions this point, showing one way that it can cause death. The evil tongue slays three: it slays the slanderer, the slandered, and the listener. There's a lot of death and hopefully even more so life in the power of the tongue. And in the second line here in verse 21, it says, "Those who love it will eat its fruit." Those who are wise enough to love and appreciate the power of what a man says will be blessed and will eat the pleasant fruit of wise and effective speech.
Proverbs 18:22, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." If you can remember back to Genesis chapter 2, it tells us that God brought together the first husband and wife. And in this, God gave marriage between a man and a woman as a gift to humanity, both as a whole but also as a blessing on an individual level. Now, some commentators believe that this implies this proverb implies, "He who finds a good wife." Uh John Trap and Alan Ross said, well, the idea here is of a good wife. But there were other commentators who insisted that it doesn't mean it's not talking about a good wife or a bad wife, just any wife. Uh Matthew Poole and Adam Clark were among those. Uh Alan Ross says, although it does not say it, the verse clearly means a good wife. He was of those that thought a good wife was implied. But Matthew Poole said this: "For a wife, though she be not the best of her kind, is to be esteemed a blessing, being useful both for the society of life (Genesis 2:18) and for the mitigation of a man's cares and troubles, and for the prevention of sins." So Matthew Poole is at the Well, it doesn't matter if it's a good wife or bad wife. It's still a blessing. It's still good. Adam Clark said this, adding kind of on Matthew Poole's side. He said this: "Marriage, with all its troubles and embarrassments, is a blessing from God. And there are few cases where a wife of any sort is not better than none." So it says here again, verse 22 of Proverbs 18, "He who finds a wife," whether it implies good or bad, I'll let you decide, "finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." Now, it would be easy for me to come down on the side of saying it's implying a good wife because I have such a good wife. My own wife is such a blessing and a fulfillment of this verse. Who I who have found a good wife have found a good thing and through that, I should say verse 22, it says I have obtained favor from the Lord. In Genesis 2:18, God said that it was not good for man to be alone. God's gift of Eve to Adam was a demonstration of God's favor, and God still gives that gift of favor. In the modern Western world, the cultural incentives for marriage seem to become weaker year by year. But God's declaration that marriage is a blessing and a gift, that it is good, and the giving of his favor doesn't depend upon cultural incentives. Listen, sometimes you'll hear it from men today. Oh, well, it's not worth it to get married. Women have all the power. They can take half my money. This reason, that reason. Uh the courts are so biased against men. And they have many reasons. And listen, some of those reasons may be real. They may be legitimate. I'm not here to judge those reasons right here. I'm just saying that God's reasons for the goodness of marriage and the favor that he puts upon it. It doesn't depend on those present circumstances. Bruce Waltke put it like this. As with the first man, the creator gives each fractured male with whom he is pleased one wife to complete the abundant life he intended. Friends, in some sense, most of us, except for those who are given that specific gift of celibacy, most men, you're not whole until you have a wife that makes you complete, that fulfills that great promise of being made one flesh. Derek Kidner adds, "The wording, especially in the Hebrew, strikingly resembles that of Proverbs 8:35." Okay, let me pause that Derek Kidner quote. Let me read you Proverbs 8:35. "For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from the Lord." Okay, in Proverbs 8:35, wisdom is speaking. Wisdom says, "Whoever finds me, whoever finds wisdom, obtains life and favor from the Lord." Derek Kidner is simply pointing out that this verse here, Proverbs 18:22, has remarkably similar wording to that verse. And so the suggestion here, according to Derek Kidner, is that after wisdom itself, the best of God's blessings is a good wife. Well, I would say amen to that. And as someone who has received such a wonderful blessing, I say praise the Lord.
Proverbs 18:23, "The poor man uses entreaties, but the rich answers roughly." It is sadly true that often when a person is poor in money or maybe poor in influence, that all they can do is beg for favor and justice. That's what an entreaty is. It's begging. "The poor man uses entreaties." In verse 23, the second line says, "But the rich answers roughly." The rich man or woman can speak boldly, even rudely. Well, because they have resources of money and influence. Friends, Solomon here described the world as it is, not as it should be. We sense in this proverb a quiet plea from Solomon to make a better world than what is described here in this proverb. Friends, think about it. Jesus was compassionate both to the poor man and to the rich man. He never answered roughly to a person based on their economic status.
Proverbs 18:24, "A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." This is a basic but often ignored principle. If you want friends, you should be friendly to others. You can't stand back, fold your arms, and just kind of say, "Why isn't anybody being friendly to me?" No, you go out and be friendly to others. "A man who has friends must himself be friendly." If you're not friendly, then even the friends you have will leave you soon. But then the second line of this proverb is very instructive. "But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Even when a man has friends, there's something that will disappoint in human friendship. The flesh and blood friends of this world are important and they are a blessing. But we need the friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Now, here we are at the end of Proverbs chapter 18. And at the end of our studies through Proverbs, at the end of each chapter, we like to take a look at different ways that it may point to Jesus Christ. Here is a beautiful and powerful way that Proverbs chapter 18 points to Jesus Christ. Jesus is the friend who sticks closer than a brother. He called us no longer servants but friends. And there's a very interesting transition in this proverb. Notice here it says, "A man who has friends" (plural) "must himself be friendly." But "there is a friend" (singular) "who sticks closer than a brother." Alan Ross said about this, "It's better to have one good, faithful friend than numerous unreliable ones." But friends, I think it's in the singular more than any reason because we apply this to Jesus, our friend, as a spiritual principle. I'm not saying that it's likely that Solomon had this in mind that this was the Messiah, but it surely points to Jesus. Jesus is the friend whose loyalty goes beyond even the connection we would have with a blood brother. Jesus is that friend who sticks closer than a brother. And let me read to you this quote from Charles Spurgeon that I think so fittingly applies this principle of understanding that Jesus Christ can be for each one of us that friend who sticks closer than a brother. Here's the quote from Spurgeon: "Now I have a question to ask. That question I ask of every man and every woman in this place and of every child too. Is Jesus Christ your friend? Have you a friend at court, at heaven's court? Is the judge of quick and dead your friend? Can you say that you love him? And has he ever revealed himself in the way of love to you? Dear hearer, do not answer that question for your neighbor. Answer it for yourself. Pure or peasant, rich or poor, learned or illiterate. This question is for each of you. Therefore, ask it. Is Christ my friend?" Dear brother or sister, I hope you know the joy of having Jesus Christ as the friend who sticks closer than a brother. That is our prayer. Lord, you are so many things to us, Jesus. You're our savior. You're our Lord. You're our master. You're our commander. You're the captain of our salvation. You're our creator. Lord, it it strikes us that you would go so far as to call us friends. Lord Jesus, we want to know you in every aspect, in every title, in every office, but among those we do not want to neglect knowing you as friend. Oh, oh yes, a reverent friend, an honored friend, but a friend, that friend who sticks closer than a brother. Lord, give us the wisdom to see this, to live in this, to walk in this. We pray this Lord in Jesus' name. Amen.
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