Transcription
As the concierge of the New York building, I have the keys to the city. It's just that the face you're wearing, man, you can never judge anyone by their face. I agree, and I've learned that over the years, but with the face you're wearing, you're hiding something. I look at you with that face and I think, this guy is hiding something. It's true, it's not right to judge by someone's face because there are very ugly people or people with strange faces who are surgeons and save lives, but this gentleman, with that face, you're hiding something from me, there's something strange about you. You know what they say, one man's trash is another man's treasure. One man's trash is another man's treasure. Well, let's see, it depends on how you look at it, I don't know what to tell you, honestly, I've never heard anyone say that before, but if you feel better, bastard, I'm not a vagrant, I have many houses. Right now I'm living in a beautiful house on the west side of the city. Like, you have many houses to rent or sublet or whatever people do here. I've already managed to live for free by going from place to place. I take care of children, dogs, plants, I take care of everything. I live without paying a cent. The average American moves twice in a decade. RJ Andrews lives in over 50 places every year, and after three months on this side, today is a moving day. To survive in New York, all I need is my coat rack, and it turns out it's on these wheels. It's my coat rack and my transport cart. This is his life, I mean, this is his life, it's all he has. I'll tell you what to do. This is the rabbit, his name is Winston. Winston. And cute. Taking care of the plants is easy. The Greeks only when they need them. The letters go right here. I mean, let's see, this is incredible. You go into people's houses, take care of their rabbit, tidy up the house, and so on, in exchange for being able to sleep there. He takes care of houses to sleep in them, just for that. Not renting affects my personal and social life in some aspects profoundly because I don't have a permanent place to live. That's the sacrifice that doesn't allow me to say, "Hey everyone, come to my house, let's have a nice gathering or things like that." But let's see, he lives like this partly because he wants to, not because he perfectly could. He could have a job and rent a room somewhere. That's the problem with this, it's because he wants to, because he could have a job and not, well, not have a mansion, but he could have a rented room and he doesn't do it because it doesn't come from his... What is this? What does this say? Sioux Falls, South Dakota. My name is Abdul, and I'm an extreme cheapskate, and this is my best friend, Mr. Sausage. The magic begins when I take out my friend. Everyone wants to take a picture with him. Everyone goes crazy for this thing. So if business is slow, I bring out Mr. Sausage and that's it. My husband haggles over everything, absolutely everything, whether it's a necessity or something I want or something he wants. He haggles over everything. Can we leave it at 3.43? What do you think? No, no, you know me, and we can do that, okay. I think this one will be more moderate, but hey, I'll look at it because it's also good to be more moderate. However, haggling for gasoline seems crazy to me. How are you going to haggle for gasoline? I mean, gasoline costs what it costs, right? You can't get gasoline, the liter costs, I don't know, one euro. You can't just give me 90 cents. It's not going to be one euro for gasoline. How does that work? And the man telling him, or better yet, I don't know if this can be done. No one has ever haggled with me for five liters of gasoline at 3.50. So with 50, deal. I want two big burgers. Look how he haggles at McDonald's, I'm dying. How he haggles at McDonald's, it kills me. It's 11.50, 11.64. Correct. So why don't we remove the 64 cents and leave it at 11 dollars? But how, how, how can that be? How are you going to haggle at McDonald's? I don't think anyone has ever done it. He wants to remove a milkshake or a burger, of course. The guy is coming, the guy is telling him, okay, if you want me to make it cheaper, I'll remove something, right? Of course not. I'll take it all. Agreed. Yes, it would be 11.64. Let's remove 14 cents and leave it at 11.50. Spectacular, spectacular. He's trying to save 14 cents. When Abdul haggles, I think, this is another store I won't be able to return to. I won't be able to return to these stores. Don't always look at the price. 95 dollars is a lot of money. Stop doing that. Every time we go out, you have to... That's why I leave you at home alone. Let me see how much we have in total. 135. Very good. Are you ready with your purchases? If you give them a winding... Excuse me, I'd like to discuss the price a bit. Her face, her face is me. She is me. Is there any discount for this jacket? Well, we try to set the best possible price for all our items, but what I can do is give you a 10 dollar discount, and still people are like, "You're annoying, [ __ ] annoying, viral discount, 10 dollars, and get out of here and don't come back, I hate you." And take off another 5 dollars for each item for being new customers. I'll give you a 20% discount. That is, we take off 10 dollars from each item. It won't reduce the total by 20%, and it will be 327 dollars. So we're entering at 400, at 322, 322, 327. Yes, it's like, he even got it. He haggled. It cost over 400 dollars, and now it's 300. 100 dollars. Spectacular. Things as they are. You can ignore it, okay, because you can hate it, but it highly hates you, you know that, okay. You can hate it, but he just reduced it by 100 dollars for your face, just because. Keep that in mind. Our tenth anniversary is approaching, and I want to do something special for my wife. Since I don't want to spend a lot of money, I set a budget of 25 dollars. I mean, 10 years, the tenth anniversary with your partner, and you say, "Wow, I'm going to do something special, I'm going to spend 25 dollars." What the [ __ ] are you going to do with 25 dollars? Are you going to give her a Big Mac and then a dessert? So I'll take my good friend Rick with me. One thing is not having, because, of course, there are two very important things here. You, for example, don't have money, you're going through a bad time, and it's okay. You don't give her anything because you can't, okay. Your girlfriend will be delighted, she'll love you very much, and you'll support each other. But to have, I mean, your image, to have a lot of money and give her a McDonald's meal and a kiss, man, and a kiss. What do you think? He wants to pull off this anniversary with 25 dollars. I told him, "You're crazy, Rick." Rick has never gone shopping with me, so he doesn't know how I haggle, he doesn't even know that I always do it. I know Rick, give me a divorce, crack. He'll be surprised today. One of my stops is the party supply store. I have a great strategy. When you bring things that are out of season, they'll surely give you a discount. For me, balloons are balloons, and the store had some on sale. Discounted balloons, but who discounts balloons? How much does a balloon cost? I don't know. I think in this life there are things that are not worth haggling over. I understand. You buy a car or a house, you try to haggle, damn, give me a discount, but a balloon. Who haggles for a balloon? The intention is what counts. From 10 to 12 dollars. 10 to 12 dollars. I can go see if I have any clearance balloons. There are some around. I can check. Clearance. Look here, it's a sale. Anniversary sale. This one is clear, she'll like it, won't she? Of course, they're colorful, they serve their purpose, but the price for it, man, I can't believe it. He's going to buy balloons for the anniversary, but a balloon that says "Anniversary Sale," it's not for an anniversary. It's not for your partner's anniversary, it's from a store's sale. It's a bit, a bit too much for me. Does he have other options that aren't as expensive as this one? I was very embarrassed. We were at the counter, the balloon cost 2.99, and he was still haggling with the seller. And he inflates them with helium, right? He'll inspect it, check it, put three-quarters helium in it. Well, it probably won't float. Air is cheaper. Clear. This guy thought he was going to be moderate, but he's spectacular. He's haggling. I mean, he's telling him, okay, one balloon, and if you put less air in the balloons, will you charge me less? I mean, he's telling you, if I put less air in, it won't float. Well, and if we only put air in the balloons, how much would they cost? He'd save maybe a couple of dollars, maybe it would be seven or eight dollars. If he does something a little simpler, do it with air. Oxygen isn't free. We breathe it every day, but I have to pay him for his oxygen. I won't use my oxygen. I'll take this uninflated. That way he has another one that's discontinued, like these. That's all. Well, I have another one, but it's just a police car. And amazing. You wouldn't want a police car, and gas. The idea is to have fun, and this car will stand out. Many currencies. Let's add this. I'm really starting to feel sick. I'm starting to think I'm losing it. This is surreal. This is even the other woman was less shocking than this. I mean, it's your wife's anniversary, you're buying balloons, but [ __ ] what? In fact, one says "Anniversary Sale," it's not even for celebrating a person's anniversary. I don't know. To save money, you take them uninflated, like, "I'll inflate them myself." And the guy says, "Hey, do you have any others?" And I also have one here that's a police car, but this has nothing to do with your wife. He says, "But I'll take it." 3.75 dollars. He says, "I can't do that, I've already given you a very good price, and you're still haggling, and you're still haggling." The real price is 2.25, and we have a deal at 2.50. Almost accepted at 2.50. Accepted at 2.25. If we can do 2.45, half of that is 2.45. Thank you very much. I always see different types of customers at the counter, but I can't say I've seen anyone so cheap. Spectacular. I really liked it, honestly. I really liked it. It's very spectacular, amazing, and it blew my mind for days. If you have more things like this, send them to me because, well, because it's very good.