23 Patterns of Demonic Attacks: How to Tell When Thoughts AREN'T YOURS | Jesus Way Podcast 037

The voice had gone away for a while. They came back in about December of 1990, but it was it was they were different this time. It was like offering me an instantaneous path to wealth, power, riches, and fame. But I had to sell my soul to it. I admit it. It was tempting, and I was at rock bottom.

So, what I started doing is I started praying the most intense prayers I've ever done in my life to God. I said, "I need a sign. If I didn't get a legitimate sign, I probably would end up killing myself. I mean, it was it was just I was done. I was exhausted from these battles."

They're making 11 billion dollars a year selling antiscychotic drugs worldwide. They don't want a cure. They want to be just keep treating these symptoms. Schizophrenia is not a physical problem. It's a spiritual problem. These voices are negative energetic entities. They can put thoughts in your mind and they sound just like your own thoughts. It's stuff like, well, you're worthless. You're stupid. Nobody likes you. And it ends up with, "Why don't you just kill yourself?"

I went through the fire. Understand that external entities, paranormal experiences, they they're they're real. They're real. Shalom. Peace be with you, my friends, and welcome back to the Jesus Way podcast. I'm your host, Aaron Abkkey, joined alongside our co-host, Mr. James Benfico, and today we're doing a part two interview with Dr. Jerry Marzinski. Now, our first episode absolutely lit up the YouTube airways. We It's still trending and going pretty viral. It's received um a lot of amazing comments and feedback and people are you guys are really interested in this subject of demonology and negative entity possession and how this all works and what the metaphysics of it are. And so Dr. Jerry actually offered us James at the end of the episode after we finished recording a part two interview and he said if you guys ever want to do a part two I have a really amazing client who he said it's his most amazing client testimonial of a man who goes by anonymous or anon who uh used to be you know fully down the road of demonic possession in a psych ward the whole nine yards and somehow made it out of that predicament and today has a successful life a healthy family and is a successful engineer. So, a pretty miraculous kind of hero story of one of the rare few individuals who ever makes it out of these kind of facilities. And so, I was actually unable to make this interview. So, James took this one solo and he described it to me um afterwards on the phone just how incredible this interview really was. And Dr. Jerry Marzinski was not not exaggerating about the kind of amazing stories this guy has to tell from his own experience. But I think the interesting thing, James, to me was, you know, our first episode focused almost exclusively on demonic possession via uh drug induction. So, street drugs like meth and heroin opening these portals to the demonic and even anti-csychotic pharmacy drugs do the same thing and open these same portals. But, uh, this person, anonymous, was was not induced into demonic possession via drugs, right? But some some kind of other mechanism, I think.

Yeah. Well, it was really eye opening and I think everyone can relate with the power of a negative thought to spiral and to spiral and before you know it, days become weeks and weeks become months. And that's what happened with this individual. He really spiraled into darkness and the these thoughts that he was worthless in the eyes of God and that he should kill himself. all these terrible thoughts just spiraled and spiraled and he found himself in a psych ward and then I believe they started treating him treating him with the anti-csychotic drugs. But it was a really powerful fascinating story. I was honestly blown away by some of the stories of entity attacks and visions, how he was treated in the facilities and his road to redemption. Really a beautiful mind-blowing story. I think everyone's really going to enjoy it. But it goes to show how these negative entities really view shame, fear, guilt, all of these things as food. It's their food source.

So the cattle go to graze where the grass is, right? If someone is is filled with negativity, they're going to go there to feed. And then they actually farm it by instigating even more negativity. So, it's this vicious cycle and um I think Anon's his bravery and courage and kind of the synchronicities and little winks from God he got even at his darkest moments to lead him back to living a loving successful life is really inspiring.

Yeah. To put it lightly, very grateful that he's able to or willing to talk with us publicly about these things even if he is still, you know, going by an anonymous name. It takes bravery to share these stories. And uh the other thing I wanted to say that you just pulled out, James, is some people might watch this interview and say, "Oh, well, if it was just negative thoughts that led this person into horrific demonic possession, then you know, am I screwed? Like any little negative thought I think can just lead me to demonic possession." And we want to be clear, that's definitely not what we're saying and not how we think this works. But we can say that a negative thought is definitely where the broad row that leads to destruction begins is a negative thoughts because thoughts that we keep thinking become stories. Stories we keep telling ourselves become beliefs. Beliefs we hold strongly become identities. And so I think negative entities, James, really are feeding off of or are permitted entry into one's consciousness via your self-perceptions, your beliefs. If I believe about myself things that are contrary to how God sees me, if I believe I'm a victim, I'm lacking, I'm unworthy of love, any such negative identity, that is antithetical to truth. And so it creates openings and opportunities for the negative polarity who is also on that thought system to use that as an entry point. So what we are saying is we don't want to let those negative thoughts continue to spiral. We don't want to adopt these negative identities and stories about ourselves because yes, they definitely can lead to these kinds of things we're going to discuss today. But suffice to say, the last thing worth covering here is the whole element ofnosticism because this got brought up in our first interview a little bit. It was kind of cool to find this out actually. We were like, "Oh, mid mid interview we're like, "Oh, Jerry's like a gnostic. That's kind of cool. We don't meet a lot of gnostics, you know." So,

but it seems like he does. I don't know what school ofnosticism he kind of um studies or prefers. There's so many schools ofnosticism, but give us your take on because you said the Gnostic element came up again in the second interview. Is that right?

Yes, it came up quite a bit and it's a fascinating conversation. It seems like Dr. Jerry and Anon have been I don't even know if they'd identify as gnostics, but they're certainly inspired by Gnostic thought. And you know we find gnostic thought very interesting the philosophy the cosmology and there is a lot of truth in it. However you know we talk ex extensively on this podcast about the original form of Christianity w which was from these Nazarene Hebrew followers of Yeshua the oldest most original form of the faith. and they had some key distinctions with the Gnostic tradition which came a bit later and then the Gnostic tradition bifurcated into like 60 schools. So there's a lot of variation but there's some common denominators innosticism that we agree with and some we strongly disagree with but nonetheless um it was a fascinating discussion and I think it provides a really great framework through uh viewing especially spiritual warfare.

Yeah. Yeah, it's really interesting because I think uh you mentioned that Anan says in this interview that he actually thinks he might have encountered the demiurge from the Gnostic school of thought. We've said this on episodes before, but in case you haven't heard us talk about this, the one of the most foundational or common denominator beliefs ofnosticism is called gnostic dualism, which is the belief that matter itself, not just the earth or something, but literally matter itself, like atoms, are inherently evil. And spirit is inherently good. And so we're trying to escape from the physical realm, which is evil, to the spiritual realm, which is good. And so they believe that the Old Testament Yahweh was a demon or a demiurge who created this entire physical realm. So we have some agreements with that and some disagreements. Right? I think the Gnostics were virtually correct on almost everything they they said about the mistakes and errors within orthodoxy, both Jewish orthodoxy and Christian orthodoxy. They pointed out a lot of the the fallacies and flaws in their thinking such as, "Hey, this uh Old Testament Yahweh guy is definitely not the same God revealed in Jesus." So, we agree with those things, right? But the conclusions that the Gnostics came to to try and answer some of those questions or errors, uh, we often times disagree with even though we think they're they're moving in the right direction, but we don't think they fully got all the way there in many of the cases, such as with Gnostic dualism. Orthodox Christianity is similar to the Gnostics in that they believe that the world is run by the devil. The the earth is the devil's realm playground, right? And so we're trying to escape it like the gnostics are to get to heaven after the second coming. But we would disagree with the Gnostics on the idea that the devil created the earth and we would side with orthodoxy that no, God created the earth as it says in Genesis. But because mankind fell introduced, you know, flesh consumption, violence, war, all these things, then it became an environment for the negative polarity to have their way with. So it seems like the world is evil because we see evil things happen. But the ontology of the world, of reality, is not evil. It's good. God created the earth and said that it was good. So those are some little distinctions, right, of where we agree and disagree withnosticism. We're definitely more on the Gnostic side of things than the Orthodoxy side of things. But the fact remains that the Nazarenes, as you said, James, were huge opponents of the Gnostics in the centuries after Jesus whennosticism was on the rise. The Jewish Christian Nazarines were one of the biggest opponents alongside Orthodoxy and Orthodox Judaism. It was this kind of wild west of theology happening. And so, yeah, we're obviously we side with the Nazarene Essene tradition, but we share similarities with Gnosticism. So, we just wanted to give that clarification before we dive into today's interview.

Yeah. It's such a fascinating t topic. We could talk about it all day, but again, the main distinction is this escapism, escaping to heaven versus a Nazarene understanding. Rudolph Steiner shared this understanding of the spiritualization of matter. We just talked about a participatory esquetology, which basically means that humanity co-creating heaven and earth with God.

through participation in virtue which are emanations from God. So as as mankind becomes more virtuous, we can create a more virtuous world and it's almost contagious. So that that's our role here. That's the purpose of life according to the Hebrew Christians to live like Christ and to change the world accordingly. And to me that gives a lot of meaning to life as opposed to just this being one hellacious escape room, right?

Yes.

pretty good description ofnosticism actually.

So, nonetheless, this was an absolutely fascinating interview. Um, I was blown away at moments and it it really touched my heart. So, I hope everyone enjoys it. Strap in. Stay tuned. It's coming right up. The reason that we model our diet and lifestyle after the Essenes and Nazarines is because they were widely known in ancient times for having extraordinary physical and spiritual health. And they lived to be an average age of over a 100red years old. These weren't some weak hippies hiding out in the wilderness. These were people who could walk 20 miles a day, work the land with their bare hands, and maintain the energy for hours of meditation, contemplation, traveling, study. And they understood something that we're only now rediscovering. The foods we eat determine the health of our body in the same way that the thoughts we think determine the health of our mind. And that's why for years now, I have loved organic muscle supplements. Organic muscle is 100% plant-based, certified organic with no artificial additives whatsoever.

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Jerry reached out after our last episode and first of all the reception from anyone has been nothing short of remarkable. I think you mentioned that many people have reached out to you about inquiring about the Mace method.

Yeah, it it was a it was gang busters. But, you know, I gave a a brief explanation about MACE, which is a a cutting edge new energetic psychotherapy that works better than anything I've ever seen in my entire almost 50 year career. I mean, it it it gets to the cause of mental illness and it'll get rid of trauma in less than an hour. It's having a little bit of hard a little more of a hard time with schizophrenia. I' I'd say maybe 30% 25 30% of the people who approach us with schizophrenia the voices disappear. That that's not great but it's a whole lot better than psychiatry which has a zero resolution rate. Nothing none of those medicines that they dish out cure anything. And this takes care of trauma. that takes care of uh uh regular all kinds of different psych psychiatric problems and and it's it drains them. It energetically drains them in an hour or less. So they are no longer there. You can the the patient can remember the incident but there's no charge to it. There's no emotional charge to it. So it's like draining a car battery. You drain, you can charge a car battery up to full, drain it down to nothing and it becomes a boat anchor. It doesn't work anymore. The same thing with these negative identities that the Mace method drains. And it's the only psychotherapies that I've seen that has a spiritual component, you know, which is it wouldn't work without it. So what Mace found was that negative energy flows into positive toward positive energy. And the Mace method hooks up a system where that negative energy in in the person's psyche is funneled into the person's spirit and is transposed into positive energy. So it's it's something that's so far out of psychiatry purview or psychies that it it's it just they're like the stone age now.

Right.

So uh a little recap. I spent close to 45 years studying the voices that schizophrenics hear. And like everybody else, when I when I uh was in graduate school, they were telling me that these voices are auditory hallucinations. That's not what I saw when I got onto the front lines. I worked at the probably the biggest psychiatric hospital on the planet at the time. There were 10,000 psychiatric patients there. time I arrived. So, there was an endless supply of schizophrenics, none of the staff were the least bit interested in what the voices were telling these patients. Not at all. You know, they they thought, well, they were auditory hallucinations. And you think of a hallucination, it it's like, you know, uh verbal cabbage word word salad, you know. So, I guess they were all thinking that. But I noticed that there was a onetoone correlation between these people getting in trouble and how often and how strong their voices were. And nobody knew what the voices were saying and nobody was interested in it except for me. So I started asking these people and I found that they they were running patterns. The first pattern is that they were consistently negative. they they're they were always negative and if they were saying anything positive, it was only to sneak around behind the the patient and stab them in the back later. So trying to get their trust and then they would grab hold and they wouldn't let go. Right? So uh I got to wondering like, you know, why aren't they random? Why aren't they all over the place? If they're a hallucination, they should be just all over the place. But they weren't. They were confined to that negative trajectory always. They stayed on that. The next question was what held them on that negative trajectory. Why weren't these voices sometimes positive, sometimes negative, some sometimes something in between wasn't? So, you know, they were consistently negative. So it was the first pattern I saw and it piqued my interest because if these voices were running patterns, they could not be hallucinations, auditory hallucinations like the psychiatric mafia insisted and like the universities were teaching, right? Couldn't be. So I started looking for more patterns and they showed up one after another after another. The second one was when a uh one of the patients came into my office and said uh you know the voices hit me last night and I started praying the 23rd Psalm. He said the voices reacted like worms thrown on a hot frying pan. So I said that's interesting. So I started asking all my other schizophrenic patients and all the ones that were to come what happened when they read the Bible. What happened when they repeated the 23rd Psalm? What happened when they went to church? The voices always reacted negatively consistently, you know, and uh so I started asking them, you know, like what did the voices do when you entered the church? And it broke down into three categories. If they were if they were very weak, they would disappear. They would just shut up. And if they were moderate strength, then they started making all kinds of noise, you know, mocking the preacher, uh, saying, uh, Jesus couldn't even save himself. What makes you think he's going to save you? And and just interfering with the person listening to the sermon. They would block it. You know, they would get louder. Right now, if they were very strong, they would drive the person right out of the church. They would get up and they would run out, right? they couldn't deal with it. So, what kind of hallucination would be anti-religious? Second pattern. Right now, for you psychiatrists out there and and you university guys who are are saying, "Oh, yeah, you got to have double blind uh research and um uh peer-reviewed stuff for any of this to be true." No, you just go ask your freaking patients what they're hearing. You know, ask them if the voices are negative. Ask them if the voices are anti-religious. Ask them if they feel a lack of energy after the voices attack. It's right there. The information is right there in front of you. You know, just open your eyes and faking look. It's right there. There's 23 of these patterns on my website at jerrymarzinski.com. They're right there for everybody to see. All you got to do is go look. Especially you clinicians that are starting to suspect that these voices are something other than what the psychiatric mafia is telling you they are and what uh the big pharma is telling you. Big big pharma got everything to lose from you finding out what these things actually are. They're making 11 billion dollar a year selling antiscychotic drugs worldwide. That's not million. It's billion. They don't want a cure. They want you to they want to be just keep treating these symptoms and nobody cures. I mean uh there's there's one fellow who asked a p panel of about 10 psychiatrists if they ever cured anybody and the answer from all of them was no. And they don't. These drugs are toxic. They're not curing anybody. They're not fixing anybody. With schizophrenia, even if the voices disappear when you stop taking the drugs, they come back. Right? So basically all they're doing is drugging the brain. Schizophrenia is not a physical problem. It's a spiritual problem. You know, these voices are negative energetic entities. They can put thoughts in your mind and they sound just like your own thoughts. You know, it's just like the thousands of thoughts you hear every day, but it's stuff like, well, you're worthless. You're stupid. Nobody likes you. um you know and and it ends up with why don't you just kill yourself and unfortunately 50,000 people in the United States are killing themselves every single year. A great number of them are on antiscychotic and anti-depressant medications which sometimes have a warning about suicidal ideiation and they're making $4.7 billion dollars selling any any uh depressant drugs that don't don't work. They don't they don't get at the cost. They don't get it, you know, like the Mace Energy method does. It gets at the cause and it neutralizes the cause. These people are stuck in the physical. You know, everything is physical. The the whole medical system was taken over by the Rockefellers back in the in the early 50s, I believe it was. They made it even before that, they made it illegal to for universities to teach any kind of medicine except pharmacological medicine. Everything had to be based around drugs because they were making Rockefellers were making money because they owned the the oil which these a lot of these drugs are made from or components of it you know so you know stuff like uh Tesla's uh violet ray was outlawed naturopathy was outlawed uh acupuncture was outlawed all of those were were uh advertised as quackery and any medical doctor who tried to use any of that or referred anybody to any of that was lost their license. Any university that refused to teach pharmacological medicine was not allowed to graduate doctors. All right? So from that time on the deep state medical mafia, psychiatric mafia had control of the medical system and they still do. All right. So those those drugs are toxic, especially the antiscychotics. They do permanent neurological re brain damage with long-term use. It's been shown over and over again with autopsy after autopsy after autopsy of psychiatric patients in state hospitals who've been taking those antiscychotic drugs for a long time. It's irreversible neurological damage. They won't tell you that. And if you go to a psychiatrist and he orders those drugs for you, he won't tell you that either. But it's been proven.

It seems like these same negative entities that are convincing people to take themselves out, these same entities and influences are running a muck in the pharmaceutical industry. really probably most of the major institutions in the world, the military-industrial complex, it's I was just talking to Boston 2% about this, how uh the cartels even will consecrate their batches of meth to the angel of death. So this this negative influence, this spiritual disease is infiltrating all these institutions and they all play into each other to cause more suffering and more death because that is their food supply.

Yes.

it seems to be their food supply. Fear, anxiety, shame, guilt.

And Patrick would know, you know, he's he's been there. Now, one thing I saw when I was working in the psychology department of the state prison that prisoners were flooding into the prison because of going psych psychotic on meth, you know, and it, you know, they start hearing voices when they're high and they go, "Oh, that's just a hallucination and it'll go away when I come down." And then, you know, it does happen. it goes away. And it may be 10, 15, 25, 50 times later, they don't go away. And then those people are just as psychotic as any any patient in the mental hospital.

My goodness.

The voices do not go away. That that meth does something. It opens people up and allows these negative entities in there like no other drug I've ever seen.

It's extremely open.

They open portals.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. No doubt.

Well, I I would love to bring in our guest here today who Jerry, we were speaking and you said, "Man, you have got to talk to this guy. It's one of the most fascinating stories I've ever heard and we feel very blessed to have you on the show today and on. Thank you for joining us."

Thank you, James. So, listening to Jerry talk about his experiences, I just I mean, my memories are coming back. Yep. Remember that. remember that. Remember that. Went through a lot of this stuff. So, I'm a recovered schizophrenic. I had it in my early 20s after graduating college. And I'll tell you the I the reason I recovered was because I came to the conclusion that it was a spiritual battle and that's what got me through it. I haven't been on any meds for it since about 1992. 90 1993 was the last time I had to take anything for it. I I hated being on the meds. I My objective was to get off of them at the time. So, it all started when I graduated college. I had some time on my hands. So, this is about maybe 1989, 1990. And I kind of started reading the the Bible on my own. I wanted to read it from start to finish a little bit because I always heard it from a middle person. I had a generic Christian upbringing. I mean, I was baptized Greek Orthodox, attended a a Methodist Sunday school, and was in a ca a Roman Catholic youth group. We did the usual stuff, you know, like coloring the animals for Noah's arc and and that sort of thing in the Sunday schools. And I remember, you know, learning about demons and that sort of thing. I I really didn't take it that quite literal. I wasn't something I was into. I I wasn't into the occult or anything like that. So, as I started to read the Bible, I was trying to kind of decide what direction head in life, who I wanted wanted to become. And something started happening in my mind. I mean, part of it was a sometimes I felt euphoric. Um, at times I kind of I'd say I felt Christlike, but I didn't quite know what to do with those sensations or or experiences. And then I also found I started to kind of have these negative thoughts like something was starting to tell me that, you know, give it up. Uh, you're no good. You'll never amount to anything. You're a failure from the start. a lot of the the things that Jerry had mentioned that his patients had mentioned as well. And I grew up I was a I was a kind of well- behaved student growing up in high school and and elementary school. I wasn't a real troublemaker or anything like that. I valued the education system, public education system that I went through. I had I had some friends. So, it wasn't like I was alone or anything like that. But, uh after I started encountering these thoughts, it it became almost like I didn't know what was going on here. It's like, okay, are these my own thoughts, or is this something authentic paranormal occurring? I mean, I'm I'm a rational, logical mechanical engineer. That's what I got my degree in. But I had taken some courses on abnormal psychology, too, as part of a my minor. And then when I started encountering some of these experience, hearing these voices, I'm like, "Wow, you know, this I know that the books on abnormal psychology, they talk about schizophrenia, but this feels very different. This feels like something's trying to kind of take over my personality, take over my body. Something something was going on." So these the thoughts kept telling me how worthless I was. And they definitely they encourage you to commit suicide. They're they'll actually tell you how to do it sometimes. Um, I remember one of the thoughts or very strong voices you might say kept telling me to climb a high tension electrical w tower and jump into the high voltage wires. That's the way they wanted me to to out myself. And again, I'm on the fence this entire time. I'm going back and forth. It's like, is this just my mind playing tricks on me? Is or is this something authentically paranormal coming after me? Sometimes they are very strong thoughts. Sometimes there are very strong voices and and I was going back and forth and and here I am sometimes having this feeling feeling Christlike. I'm reading reading the Bible a little bit both old and new testament trying to sort through some things and then to have these experiences on on top of it that being like feeling like there's some voices working upon me. It's like what is going on here? I mean it was causing cognitive dissonance in my mind trying to comprehend all this stuff. And what was happening, I was kind of going deep into my own psyche to kind of deal with some early uh family dysfunctional issues. And I think what these thoughts or voices do, they they will take any negative thoughts or negative experience that you've had and they will amplify them. It's like they're stirring them up to to the surface.

It generates negative emotional energy. That's what they feed off of. So, I was dealing with this and I was getting more and more depressed at the same time. It's almost like a whole different bandwidth of across the spectrum of DSM was occurring. There's times I probably felt a little bipolar. There's times I was extremely depressed, probably some manic mania thrown in there. And I'm trying to sort through what's going on here. And I I was I was crashing basically what it was psychologically, uh, emotionally, mentally.

Did those thoughts sound any different than your regular thoughts? Was there was there any difference in inonation or or

um for at the beginning for the most part? No. They sound they sound like my thoughts.

Yeah. That's where they get that's where they trick you because they sound just like your thoughts. So you assume that it's you

and and they'll tell you things like now this this is you just thinking this. that this is your own mind going back and forth on this.

right? And I remember a prisoner that asked them and demanded to know who they were, what are you, who are you? And the response is, "We are you. We are you."

So eventually I I crashed so hard in the depression. I mean, I wasn't I wasn't eating anymore. These these voices were telling me that I wasn't worthy to eat food. Um, probably I was probably probably down about 100 pounds and I'm about six foot two. So, I I lost a lot of weight and I just I I couldn't function in life anymore. I mean, I couldn't even add two plus two together because these these voices were constantly in your head. It's like they're berating you. Every possible negative thing thing they're they're telling you they're trying to isolate you from families and friends. They're they're trying to make you paranoid and they're they're telling you things that you're not quite sure what to believe or not or who to trust. your your whole reality is being thrown off. And I knew at the time that my mind wasn't right. I knew something was going on. So finally I crashed at the point where I my whole body started thrashing and I was on a very low dose of lithium at the time and I was I tell you the voices were so much in my head I didn't remember even take the lithium I think. So I probably wasn't even taking it. So I was rushed to the ER. They ran some tests. I think did an MRI. They wanted to see if it was something uh physiological or neurolog neurological, but it turned out it was none of those. They concluded that it was psychological. But I'll tell you, I felt like something else was trying to enter my body and take control of it, like moving my arms and legs, like it wasn't me. Something else was was doing that. And they I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital after being in in the emergency room. Uh, I was there for about four weeks. This is in the autumn of 1990. I think it was about September, October or No, no, wait a second. Just trying to keep the year straight. Any it was in I think it was around 1990. She was 1999 1991. But I I was admitted to this into a psychiatric hospital for about a month there. And they would kept asking me, "Are you hearing voices? Are you hearing things?" And I I would kind of tell the caveat. I said, "Yeah, I'm hearing voices, but it's like my mind's just playing tricks on me." It was almost like you're kind of in in a dream state, but just the mind the mind would not shut down. It was constantly you constantly bombarded with these voices and these thoughts telling you all sorts of things. And they made it very difficult to sleep. They wouldn't wouldn't want you to sleep. And I remember the attacks would get accelerated a lot stronger during say maybe from 2:00 to 4:00 in the morning. Uh, you'd wake up sometimes and then they'd be attacking if they even let you fell asleep.

Non. What about after the sun went down? Did did they feel stronger when the sun went down?

Uh yeah, I would say I would say yes because you had nothing else to really focus on and you'd be lying in bed and then you're trying to fall asleep and the mind is just constantly going with these voices. It's like you can't get to get to sleep. It's like they're keeping you up.

I feel like it's strategic. It is

be because lack of sleep just strengthens it gives them more power over the individual and and I've I've told this story with Jerry, but the reason I got into all of this is because my best friend took his own life years ago.

Thank you, brother. I appreciate it.

And it was after a few nights of not sleeping. He had also recently gotten a amphetamine prescription and he was hearing voices uh preceding his suicide. So, I really believe that if he had gotten some good rest in the days leading up, he probably wouldn't have been as susceptible to these voices urging him to

well, you look at the magnitude of the problem when you got 50,000 people in the United States alone killing themselves every year with psych psychiatrists killing themselves at a rate higher than the average. you know that you those people are get having thoughts in their head to kill themselves. They don't just randomly go out and go you know there's without any thinking kill themselves. Those thoughts are being put there by these entities.

I I came very close to doing it. I mean I was at the point where I was getting out pipes hooking up up to my exhaust in my car getting duct tape out and but higher thoughts were entering my mind. And I had two nieces at the time and I remember part of me was just that compassion for the younger generation like if their uncle killed himself that would give them a permission slip to do so as well if they ever face a tough crisis. So that's that's kind of what stopped me because I had two younger nieces and I just realized you know I I didn't want to screw up their world in their life of doing that. And that's kind of what stopped me sometimes. But it it was my mind's going back and forth as far as are these my own thoughts? Is this a spiritual battle? Is this something paranormal? So, I mentioned Yeah. I ended up in the psychiatric hospital. That was about September, October 1990. I I got the dates. I remember the dates now. And when when you're in there, you're a guinea pig. They don't know what what drugs to give you or or what pills to work. And they gave me all sorts of combinations of drugs. Uh pink ones, blue ones. If that didn't work, they gave you octagon shaped ones. Uh and these drugs, they're not the type of ones you want to take for recreational enjoyment. I mean about the baseline.

Oh yeah. So like I'm an engineer. I took chemistry and biology. So I understand a little bit how science works. And they were telling me that your brain chemistry is off. And I and I asked them, okay, my brain chemistry, well, what's the baseline? Where where should it be? Where should it be? They just gave me blank looks.

The doctors there and the nursing staff, they couldn't. probably you're probably the only patient who ever asked them that.

They skipped right over it.

Um because you know,

how can something be off if there's not a baseline?

Well, that exactly like if you have a swing pool, you have a swimming pool, you want to keep your pH at a certain level. Same idea. If your if your brain chemistry is off or where should it be type of thing, but that's that's the uh marketing excuse that the pharmaceutical industry uses is that it's all your brain chemistry is off and these drugs fix the brain chemistry. Again, this was a lie came up by Eli Lily back in the in the 70s, I think, when they came out with Prozac. They needed some reason for it to to explain why it worked. So, they just made one up. It had a clear blue. Now, they're teaching it in the universities. They taught it for years. It's in all the textbooks and it's a freaking lie.

So, none of these pills were doing anything. You know, they give you the little cup. They make sure you take it. Um, I just remember every day I was trying a different combination see if this did it or that or that did it. There'd be group therapy too and I remember this the psychiatrist I was seeing in the hospital. Yeah. I probably had total of 20 minutes with with him him a day and I feel like some of the people in the psychiatric hospital of the staff were possibly demons or archons themselves. I mean, some of them were very nice. Other ones you weren't so sure if they're looking out for your best interest, but none of none of the pills were working. Um, I remember there's some days I don't even remember being in the in the psychiatric hospital. Like there's three or four days where just my mind was just wiped. It was I don't know. It was from the drugs they were giving me or from the paranormal attacks that I I was encountering. But I do remember the voices getting very very strong on one particular night and they they would attack. It almost sounded like you ever go to see a play before the play or a movie starts in the movie theater everyone's talking back and forth before the show actually starts. That's kind of what it was like. I was hearing a multitude of voices. It sound like women's voices, men's voices, even possibly children's voices, but it was a cacophony. And I'm trying to ignore this. says, "I'm trying to fight this stuff." And I I never said to the staff in the hospital, "Hey, I'm hearing negative voices or saying mean things." I'm just saying, "Yeah, I'm hearing some stuff sometimes, but I just told him it's just just my mind playing tricks on me."

Could you feel your energy being drained while this was happening

after the attacks? I remember I felt very very weak. Just totally drained.

That's consistent. They That's They're feeding off of that angst, that off of that that fear, that confusion, that anxiety. That's their food. That's what they want to generate.

This is what Robert Monroe also validated this in his research that these entities are feeding off negative energy like that.

Oh, did he? Yeah, that's good.

Yeah, the word luch. Now, I'm not sure Robert Monroe's research of, you know, are they feeding off just our negative luch? Are they feeding off positive luch as well? You know,

it's just negative. Consistently negative. That's what they feed off of. They're low frequency entities. You could argue that angels, positively polarized beings, I don't know a feed off is the right word, but we all, anyone who has a heart for God or, you know, love for others, we all feed off love, right? So, the positive polarity will feed off of love and service and and positive things. If you see, you know, a cute puppy or whatever, someone doing something nice, that makes you feel good. It gives you energy.

Yeah. because you're on the positive path where someone on the negative path or being on the negative path they get energy from inherently negative acts.

That's how I see it at least.

Yeah.

It's a good model. I mean there there's I I don't know for certain what's going on, but I just know something's going on out there based on my experiences. So that night of hearing the voice though, they got very strong and I was hearing them outside my mind like I'm starting to hear them like around me and I'm I'm there like lying in bed just with my eyes closed just trying trying to fight them to retain my personality because it felt like someone were trying to take over who I was. They were and I remember it was it felt it felt like there was like a several of them and then it became almost like a committees like I tell like some voices were starting to leave and it became like a committee of like 12 then nine then five but I remember one of those voices distinctively saying what are we going to do about him? So, I was in the hospital, lots of stuff went on there. Um, reached the point at the end of four weeks and my HMO health insurance was running out. None of the drugs were working. The next step was I was going to end up in a state psychiatric hospital. They decided to try electrocombulsive therapy, which is ECT. That's where they put the electrodes on the patient's scalp and they basically sent a voltage across the brain. Now, when I when it was done to me, it was in the 1990s. It wasn't like the way it was done like say in the in the ' 60s, '7s, and even early 80s.

Terrific.

I mean,

so they they gave me a they they told me exactly what they were going to do. like they gave me a muscle relaxing because when they give you the the voltage across the the brain, um you can have seizures, you can snap ligaments, break bones, your whole body body will seize, but because they give you the muscle relaxing, you can't move your diaphragm up anymore to breathe. So, they had to put a respirator on you too at the same time to to give you the uh electrical dose. And they did tell me that I would have some short-term memory loss when I was going for the ECT. So they they did it the first time and I got to admit I felt a lot better. It it's like I wasn't hearing the voices. I felt more like myself. If you remember the old vinyl records that used to have the needle that you put in a groove, it's almost like my mind was stuck in this groove of just negative voices, constant bombardment, that I was worthless, I didn't deserve to live anymore. And what that ECT did, the electrocombulsive therapy, is it seemed to lift that needle out of the groove. I was able to kind of have silence my mind for a while. And I was I felt like I could start rebuilding myself. I mean, I was still at rock bottom. Um, I was unemployed. I was at poverty level that year. I still had a functioning credit card, so I was just living off of that to pay for my my necessities. I was paying for my health insurance premiums with my credit card. Food was being paid on a credit card. And I told the staff, I feel I feel much better. And they're like, no, no, you need to have at least six ECT treatments. So even though I felt perfect, much better after the first one, I had to go through five more of them.

Those kill brain cells also.

So I would have been a heck of a lot smarter if it wasn't for those six ECT treatments. So I went through a total of six and I can't say that I felt any better between the first one and the sixth one. So I was discharged from the psychiatric hospital and oh there was times I remember in the hospital too where I was walking in the lobby and I would walk into a wall and I would just keep moving my arms and legs and I I remember how stupid this probably looked but I couldn't find the thought to change direction or or move. It's almost like something else was like testing to see if they could get hold of my body to move it back and forth. I mean, it definitely sounds like an exorcism was being attempted and something was going on there. And again, I I come from a mechanical engineering background. I have a rational mindset. I wasn't into any of this stuff, but you know, looking back what was occurring, it very much meets what, you know, religions tell us about that there are these entities out there, whether you call them demons or archons or jin, there's something

To them. So, I was discharged. Uh, I think around October 1990. The voices were gone. I was trying to to try and get my life back together. I wanted to get I want to get on with my life. I just want to put this whole experience behind me. I wanted to start, you know, find a job, uh, move out of the house, my upbringing, just establish myself as as a human being, start my life again.

And then the voices came back probably about this is probably December of 1990. So the ECT worked temporarily, but then the voices did come back and I was seeing a counselor at the time. I think it was on a low dose of clonopin just kind of like as a mood stabilizer. I but I got to tell you those psychotropic drugs they they gave me in in the hospital, they were just h awful. I remember sometimes it felt like I had 50 pound weights on my feet. I I could barely lift up my my legs, super dry mouth. Um, I remember one time I was looking straight ahead. I would turn my head to the side and what I was looking would go like this. It would shift and catch up to me.

As I turn my head again, it would take a while for what I was seeing to catch up w with with my eyes. So really some some awful side effects.

Well, and those the voices use those side effects. You know, when I was working at that state hospital, psychiatrists were being assaulted at a rate higher than any other staff except the attendant staff that were with these people for 24 hours a day. I found out toward the end of my seven-year work length there. One one patient went off her meds and her mother came up and and we were kind of, you know, why did you do this? You you knew what would happen. We'd have to discharge you if you went off three times. And you went off three times. tell us why did you do it? She said the voices told me that these the drugs that the psychiatrists were giving me were poisoning me. So, and they are toxic. So, there is truth to that, you know, and they pointed to those side effects like Anan was talking about as proof that they were being poisoned. So a lot of the patients especially the males would attack the psychiatrist because they they he they were forcing them to take these meds and they didn't want to be poisoned.

Now I do want to stress the fact in my opinion I think the the pills and the medicines and the pharmaceuticals and the psychotropic drugs sometimes are necessary.

Oh yeah.

Just for the short term. We're talking maybe no more than six months or so.

Um the idea is to get the patient off the drugs. It just sometimes you just go ahead Jerry because you had experience with that. Yeah, I've seen some in the prison where they they need to be on the drugs all the time. They're very dangerous people, you know. Um it like like you said, it should be used for the short term, but there there are a lot of people that are dangerous. You know, a lot of these um mass murder people, they're hearing voices. You know, the the one that just recently killed the little Ukrainian girl, he he was psychotic. You know, they're they're they need to be tranquilized because some of them are so far gone that they're they're never going to be able to function safely in society again. But for the most part, no. If they're keeping these people on these drugs for a long period of time, they're doing more damage than they are good.

Jerry Would you consider like for instance someone who's a mass murderer? It seems like there's a spectrum with these beings and their influence over people from minor influence to more powerful influence all the way to like a full-on possession and and is that what you experienced as well? Like how close were you getting to fully being under the control of these entities? Like how much sovereignty did you have throughout this process?

Well, I'll be honest. There were times where I I almost lost my sovereignty. I mean, I really It became pretty close. I mean, there were certain impulsive things that they would try and get you to do. I don't remember. I wasn't violent of wanting to hurt anybody or anything like that. Now, maybe because they didn't get to that point. I remember I didn't want to throw a brick through uh a former place of employment that I'd been at. And I do think sometimes too with these attacks where I feel like that they were sometimes using other people to incite the negative emotions in me. Like you'd have somebody say a comment just off the cuff. Like where'd that come from? And so I I sometimes think that these entities, they don't just work off their target. I think they may go into people around their target to use them to to try and get their target to emit more, I guess, negative luch.

Yes. So I mentioned I was the voice had gone away for a while. They came back in about December of 1990, but it was a it was they were different this time. It's almost like there was a hierarchy to them. And the first voice came back. It was like offering me an instantaneous path to wealth, power, riches, and fame. But it was like it was offering me mamm.

Wow.

But I had to sell my soul to it. In other words, it was it was trying to make a fouian bargain. It was trying to make a deal with me. And I admit it, it was tempting. I mean, I was in a broken state. I was below poverty level. I was trying on with my life. And they they showed me like a whole path to do it. But you I basically have to give up my ethics, my soul, and everything to go that way. And it was tempting, but I I I just I said no to it because I just felt like I didn't feel like it was coming from a a good source. I had one offer me a um lottery number one time. One of the prisoners, the voices he was hearing offered a lottery number.

I I did the same thing you did and on I I didn't want any part of it.

And you know, here it is. Sometimes I felt I felt Christlike, but I didn't quite know what to do with those sensations or feelings because like you know who who might be any different other nutnut job out there that feels kind of messiahic or Christlike at the time. And then I started having these experience, you know, the offer of wealth and power and riches, being tempted by the devil, so to speak, which is something that Jesus allegedly went through. And I'm having these similar experiences. So this this is adding even more to my madness and my state of mind. Like something weird is going on here. Is this just my mind playing tricks on me? Do I have some underlying psychosis of wanting to be some sort of Christ figure? I mean, I didn't know what was going on in my head with this. Um, the only I can say is I truly believe there was a cosmic battle going on my in my mind. And I'll leave it at that. So I said no to the offer of Mammon. I didn't want that path to riches, wealth, and fame if I had to give up my soul, if I had to give up my ethics.

So then these attacks started to come in stages. So about a month or two later, the next attack, it would make me feel extreme guilt and shame. Um, again trying to get me to end my existence, but it would point out every crime in my life, every crime that I ever committed, however minor they were. And by crimes, I'm talking about baiting, using earthworm as bait when I go fishing. But it started telling what a horrible creature I am that I I kill earthworms and that sort of thing. Um, it would make me feel guilty for every morsel meat that I ever ate. So here it is. This is the great crime against my great sin was that I I'd use live bait to to catch sunnies and bass and trout when I went fishing.

So these entities will go into your mind and pull up some of your past experiences.

Yeah, they can do that. They can pull up every rotten thing you've ever done and start blaming you and generating guilt again to generate that negative emotional energy that they feed off of.

And I think we've all experienced this. you're just in the shower and something you did when you were a kid or something. You bullied someone when you were in elementary school. It comes back into your mind. You're like, "Why? I had forgotten about that. Why is that popping into now I feel bad?"

That's a hit for them.

They're testing. They're testing. I mean, we've all done things in our lives that we're probably not proud of, but we realize, okay, you know, we make amends. We we try and improve ourselves after that. We try not to repeat those errors in in our ways. We we try and learn from our mistakes and to be better better human beings. So I started standing up to these voices. The the one that kept telling me that you know you know it would blame me for every morsel meat I ever ate, every fly and a worm that I killed. So I started defending myself. I started saying God created me with teeth, taste buds, tongue and mouth. Do I not have a right to use them? I said, 'Wh is meat made to taste flavorful and provides the most amount of proteanic energy per volume? I said, 'Wh does God encourage some animals to kill and eat other animals for sustenance? I said, I started telling these voices. I said, take your argument to God, not to me. I didn't make this world. I didn't make this universe. T take it to God.

So, these are kind of attacks would go on um for a little while and then there'd be a new one. And I felt like they were different entities because the the vocabulary they used, the inonation was different. And as Jerry said, this isn't just word salad. They're speaking in full sentences, full paragraphs, full full phrases.

With an very malicious intent behind all those phrases.

And again, I'm on the fence. You is just my mind playing tricks on me or is there something authentically paranormal going on here? Is it is this something spiritual? I I didn't know. I didn't know where I was with through all this. So, a later attack, it kept stating how worthless and pathetic humanity and I are. It kept saying there were insignificant lumps of flesh being destined to rot, eaten by worms, bacteria, and I would counter argue. I started arguing against them. Sometimes I would talk out loud to them when nobody was around. If anyone was around, I would talk internally in my head back to them. But I started they would say things like, you know, you're just going to rot in the grave. You human beings, you're just ugly flesh. And I would argue back. I would say, hey, you know, we didn't decide the composition of our flesh, blood, and bones. It was granted or forced upon us, our bodily form. I said, I didn't control my creation. I said, take your arguments to God, not to me. I said, that's where you find the answers. Don't blame me for the human form. And it was odd. In this case, this aronic attack or this negative attack backed off rather quickly. It stopped within a week or two. It's almost like it saw that my defense was strong and it couldn't come back with an argument. So, it backed off right away and I said, "Wait a second. I can win against this." Like, I started to realize this that, hey, I'm standing up to them. They backed off this time. So, then there'd be a whole series there's all these various stages of these attacks that continued on. on. I mean, it was felt like a trial, a tribulation. It was like the these prosecutors or adversaries were were coming and attacking me. And sometimes it wasn't like they were attacking me. It's almost like they were attacking all of humanity. And I was acting almost like as a as a defense attorney or or an advocate for humanity against some of these attacks. I mean, I remember one of the attacks where it would say like humanity did not deserve to exist. It's like these edies were judging all of humanity through my mind and my experiences. I mean, I remember having like internal cinematography visions of like wars, battles, riots, just violence of humanity. And these voices or strong thoughts would say, "See, humanity is an abomination. They will never evolve." And these inquisitors kept saying how worthless and ignorant we are as a creation. that we're not a species that deserve to continue our existence. And I again I would defend myself against these attacks. I would say yes. There's some human beings that are evil, wicked, ignorant, full of hatred. But I said there are others that are good, compassionate, kind, and full of love. And I put forth my defense that you don't condemn an entire species, religion, culture as being entirely imperfect based on the actions of a few. So they were trying to judge all of humanity based on certain instances. And yes, humanity can be cruel and awful and vicious. But comm humanity can also be compassionate, loving and kind. So there were all these various tribunals and trials and tribulations that kept occurring. It's almost like it was different stages of a trial that I was going through. And I remember the last tribunal stage most intensely. It's like something was trying to convince me that God does not exist to give up my faith. Keep in mind, I'm at rock bottom. I mean, I'm I'm at poverty level. I'm dealing with the diagnosis of schizophrenia. I'm trying to get keep my sanity going. I'm trying to get on with my life. Um I'm hearing voices tell me to kill myself. And this last stage kept telling me that God does not exist. Give it up. He's just a figment of imagination. Basically, this attack was trying to remove any remnant of belief or faith in God or a higher consciousness. It was trying to make me a pure materialist. It was telling me things like God is dead. He or she is just a delusional fantasy. So, so give up. And I was at rock bottom and and

What kind of hallucination would do that?

So what I started doing is I started praying the most intense prayers I've ever done in my life to God. I said or what I thought God should be or whatever that higher power out there is. I said God I said I need a sign. I said I don't know if these attacks in my head is just mental illness. I don't know if this is a paranormal. I don't know what's going on. But if you want me to keep going on with these battles, these spiritual battles, I need a sign from you. There's something genuine, authentic going on here because I can't continue with with this. Um, if I didn't get a legitimate sign, I I probably would end up killing myself. I mean, it was it was just I was done. I was exhausted from these battles. So, this is probably about September, October of 1991. So, this is about a year after getting out of the psychiatric hospital and I'm I'm seeing a counselor still and but I'm not going to in depth of all these voices. I mean, she was kind of dealing with some codependent issues I had with with with my mom. I didn't go to everything else that was going on because I tried to kind of keep it separate and I wasn't sure myself what was going on. So, I prayed two weeks as intensely as I could. I said, "God, give me a sign." Uh, and I didn't say what the sign should be because I I didn't want to kind of put prejudice in place and say to God what I wanted the sign to be. I left up up to God to decide. You know, if a uh priest had showed up at my door, I would have accepted that as a sign. If a if a Bible or a major scene arrived in the mail by mistake, was shipped to me by accident, I would accepted that as a sign. But what happened is I had a vision and it was probably the most intense vision I've ever had in my life. It is the most intense vision I've ever had in my life. But it saved my life as well. So I will share with your audience what exactly had occurred. I will share with the audience the vision of what I encountered. So do you see a door here? And it's kind of a light switch.

Yep.

Okay. So, as I mentioned, I was praying as intensely to God for give me a sign that there's something more going on in my head than just pure mental illness. And I was at rock bottom. So, I woke up about 2 o'clock in the morning, about two weeks after the most intense praying, and I could feel there's a presence in my room. I I could feel it. I'm looking around. I didn't see anything. I'm lying on my back. I look up and I see the the light switch or excuse me, the light fixture up there. It's like I had a square light fixture in my room. And this was in in the bedroom that I had grown up in at the time. Then I start to see this kind of grayish silverish black like smoke or mist start entering the room to the left of the light fixture. Is the smoker gray getting bigger as I as I hit the slides?

Yeah.

Okay. At first, I thought it was electrical fire occurring in the light fixture over my head, but it wasn't occurring where the wires were. It was actually occurring in a plane about 6 in or a foot below the ceiling level. And I'm watching this kind of smoke or mist start to enter my room. It's like, what's going on here? And then I realized, oh crap, it's it's a hallucination. Here I am diagnosed as a with a effective schizophrenic disorder and now I'm having starting to have hallucinations. Part of me is like, okay, my condition is getting worse. The other part of me, the scientist of me is saying, okay, well, let me see what my mind is going to tell me. Maybe I have some hidden trauma here that has to come out. I wasn't sure what was going to happen. So more and more of this mist is coming into the room. grayish like fog or silverish and it it was moving the way wasn't moving like smoke. It was moving the way like food coloring would move through a drop of water when you drop like food coloring it into it. I don't know if this mist or fog had sensience in itself, but it was kind of coming in from a plane below the ceiling. Then I start to see like a black portal in the middle of this fog or cloud that's forming. The portal is getting bigger. It's getting oblong shaped, almost ovalshaped. And I could see the smoke or mist was coming in from the inside circumference of this portal opening that's occurring in my room. Now, this isn't normal reality. I'm like, what is going on here? I'm curious and scared at the same time. Wasn't sure where this was going. And again, I feel I I had this I feel something. I feel this presence. So this portal gets bigger and bigger and bigger. More of this mist comes into the room. I'm looking in the portal. It's pitch dark. Really can't see that much. Really couldn't couldn't see well into it. Just looked very dark. And all of a sudden, whoosh, I see these two serpentine or snake- like movements from bottom to top in the portal. And I remember think I remember all the emotions I felt with this experience. It's like, whoa, what is that? And I'm watching it. I'm watching the snake like movements move. It's like it's moving from bottom to top. I can see the end of its tail. And I remember thinking, "Oh, thank goodness. Whatever that is, it's on the other side in that portal and not in my room." But that was a thought. That was a thought I spoke too soon on. So, so more and more the smoke starts to fill the room. It's almost forming like a cloud or fog. And I start to see the snake- like movements on the edges of the cloud. And I'm thinking, crap, this thing is in my room, whatever it is. And again, I'm not sure if I'm having a visual hallucination or if this thing is actually materializing within my room. So, I'm lying on my back looking up at all this occurring. I see the serpentine snake- like movements coming kind of in and out of the cloud almost like it's coming out of the portal and entering the cloud. For a while there, I couldn't see any of the uh the cloud or excuse me, any of the portal behind it, but I saw like turbulence in the edges and then all of a sudden this creature entries pops out of the cloud at about a 2:00 position. It looked just like this. It had I remember it had a mane that was very distinct. It had a mamleian head or face on the side. It had whiskers. It had dark black glossy scales running down its side. And its underbelly had kind of like a a grayish scales on its underbelly. And there was like a this seam that ran seemed to run down its body. And I was a little taken aback because I was seeing serpentine movements. I was expecting this thing to come out with like a snake head or a lizard head on it, but it comes out with like a like it looked like lion like doglike or or monkey like from the side, but it definitely had a a mane. And I'm thinking, what is my crazy schizophrenic brain doing? Why is it coming with this sort of thing for a hallucination? So this I found these entities on these charms probably about 2020. So I'm having this hallucination back in 1991 and I found this on the right hand side in 2020. But these are sometimes called referred to as a Brax stones and they're from maybe oh third or fourth century. Here's some more of them. It this entity goes by many different names. Uh it's referred to as Chinubis. It's referred to, the Gnostics used to refer to as Yaldabouth or the demiurs sacas the cosmic crater. So it has it has different terms depending on the particular reference source of where it comes from. But if you notice there's a seam on this as well.

Running down.

And and even in uh in this on this amulet from the 3 or 4th century, you'd almost see a seam there. There it is. Has like a lionlike head and a serpentine or stink-like body. So, our ancestors saw this this type of entity or creature back in the day. So, I'm more curious than scared at this point in time. So, it comes more into the room. It's almost first came in, it's like it was looking for something and then it turns and faces me head on. It definitely looked lionlike. Some sort of feline creature. Had had a mane. It looked kind of rather disheveled, like it been in a few cat fights. I remember his left eye looked like it was scratched or had a scar on it. It might have even been blind in his left eye. I couldn't I couldn't really distinguish that, but it definitely looked like it had been in a few cat fights. I mean, I could see the details so vividly. I could see whiskers. I could see facial imperfections, stubble on it, and its muzzle was a little was a little bit wider than a lion, but it definitely looked lion-like. and had this like serpentine or snake- like body and then all of a sudden it changes the most horrible thing you could think of.

I remember it was it had very grayish wrinkled prunelike skin. It looked almost like a old man or old hag of decay. It could have been like a combination of a man, old hag, lizard-like, but I just remember it looked extremely frightening looking. Every I remember my skin just went into instantaneous goosebump modes. I had goosebumps all over body. My body it had like a howling screaming expression like it was come to devour me or my soul. And I'm like, what is going on here? I I thought I was going to die. I'm like, this is the end of my existence. my whole body. I just felt like in the state of terror and fright and I had this thought or a higher thought. I don't know if it was my own thought or something else put it in there, but I just remembered I felt like, you know, if this thing's if this is the end of my life, I don't want to go out of the world feeling like this in a state of fright. I didn't want to give this any dissatisfaction of having me die in a state of fright. And this thing felt immensely powerful. So what I did, I just lowered my ego and I just projected love onto it. I just said, you know, you want to make me feel frightened. You want to make me feel terrified and scared. You're coming to destroy me. I don't know if I'm going to live through this. I don't know if I'm you're going to devour my soul. I don't know if I'm going to die. I don't know if you're real or not. I don't know if I'm just imagining you. But I just projected love onto it. And I could actually feel a projection of love go off of me and confront this entity. And the entity felt evil. At least that's the way I was interpreting it. And all of a sudden, it seemed to vaporize or disappear or just kind of disintegrate. It wasn't there anymore. And I I'm thinking to myself, am I still alive? What just happened? I know I'm still in my room because I can still see the square ceiling light fixture. The cloud is still there. And then all of a sudden, this new entity appears overhead. And this entity was very different than the other one. It had a kind of it was looking, but I felt it was of a feminine nature. Now, I'm not an artist. I'm an engineer. But you have to visualize this face was the most intense, beautiful thing I ever saw in my life. sheer beauty. And it had these bronze energetic discharges. They looked like wings. Um they could definitely interpret as wings. It had maybe three or four pairs of them. And I came across this years later.

So our our ancestors encountered these these entities and they're talked about in various religious texts. Um you might have could call an angel. It could be a a sherb, a sarapin, uh what they call maybe a luciferian entity. I don't really know. But the this is a good representation of kind of what it looked like, especially the image in the lower lefthand corner. And it was sheer beauty, the face. And it wasn't like I just saw the beauty. I could feel it viscerally within my body. And part of me was like, you know, I I don't I'm a mere mortal. I don't deserve to be seeing that that this that this this beautiful entity, whatever it is. And I didn't know what it was going to do, but I almost felt like the entity wasn't aware of me. Like I was aware of this entity before it was aware of me. So the entity is just kind of floating there below the ceiling. Its wings are moving and sometimes the wing would actually move across its face a little bit and its eyes were looking downward relative to its hovering position. So, like I said, I I was a seemed aware of this entity before it was aware of me and then all a sudden its eyes open and it's were just staring at each other. I didn't know what was going to happen next, but I just remember this face was unescribable beauty and elegance.

It was a type of beauty that I felt as a mere mortal I should not even be looking upon. And we're just looking at each other. whether it's wings are are are fluttering and I I'm thinking, okay, this is probably going to turn into something really ugly and terrifying. Come at come at me as well, like the last thing did because hey, you know, I'm a diagnosed schizophrenic. You know, I'm having these hallucinations. What's going on here? So, we're just staring at each other and it kind of felt like like an eternity. Um, but it was I'm guessing it's 5 to 10 minutes of of this just looking at me. I don't know if he's trying to decide who I was, if he was trying to figure out where it was. Its wings are fluttering. Its wings are moving. I'm We're just lying there looking at each other. The clouds started to dissipate. The portal's still there behind it. And I knew I was still in my room because I could still see the square ceiling light fixture throughout this entire ordeal. That that was my da d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d dam. That was my constant know that I was still in my room. So, I'm just looking at this beautiful entity, not sure what's going to happen next. And then all of a sudden the entity smiles at me. I could even see dimples forming its face and his face was very humanoid looking. Sheer beauty. I mean it might have even had had flowing hair too. This is just kind of the way I I drew it. But upon that smile I felt this rush or a wave of love, ecstasy, um compassion. It's like it's like it was letting me know everything's going to be okay. Now granted, I'm still a little terrified because this is a normal reality. I mean, it was both exhilarating and terrifying at this at the same time. But I just remember this entity just projected pure unadultered love back at me. And it was an erotic experience. I say erotic, not in in the lower physical body, sexual sense, but erotic like there was a connection going on here at a higher level.

Aeros.

Aeros. Yeah. And the next thing I know, I'm starting to have an out-of- body experience. I'm starting to merge with this entity. Whatever it is, I'm in a state of sheer ecstasy. I'm merging with this entity. It's almost like we're becoming one being. And you know, maybe maybe that's what they mean by hero's gamas, like that this merger with a divine entity or divine emanation. The entity is going in reverse. It's like it's rising back like it's going to go into this portal and I'm be I'm having like an out- of- body experience becoming merging one with this entity. Like I could feel all kind of its thoughts and it's being its essence. It could it could feel me. And just as this entity and I were about to merge 100% and go into this portal that formed in my room, everything went gray and then dark. It's like I was deliberately put back to sleep. I was aware of go out. If you ever been under anesthesia, you know when they say count backwards from five or three and then all a sudden you just feel that rush of the anesthesia take hold. Like you know when you go out from anesthesia, this was the same type of experience. So everything went gray and then dark like like I was literally being put back to sleep. So I woke up the next morning. I I probably about 7:00 or so, about 3 or 4 hours later after this experience. I'm like, "What just happened? What occurred?" There was nothing in my room that I recall to show proof that something had occurred that night. But I knew something in me had had changed. Um the encounter with that second entity, it gave me hope. It returned my will to live. And it's kind of like here I was praying for a sign and I had this intense paranormal divine experience. I mean, it could have been an encounter with both an emanation of God and an emanation of the devil. There's so many different ways to interpret this. I mean, I'm explaining the actual experience itself. But that second entity, it could have been my higher self. It could have been the the Holy Spirit. It could have been an emanation of of God kind of showing its its face to me. Um, it could have been what the Gnostics refer to as um Sophia.

So, there's many different ways to interpret this stuff. Now, I'm going to read something you to you from some of the Gnostic texts. Now, Gnosticism, a lot of people, even mainstream Christianity, view it, oh, it's a heresy and this and that. But, uh, if you really read into it,nosticism was actually the placeholder of Christianity after Christ was crucified, after Jesus was crucified. Nostism was around before the council of na met before the new.

Years before Christ died.

Yeah. And narcissism in my opinion really is the beginnings of Christianity. And it's it's still a Christian message, but it's just a little bit it's a little bit different how they interpret it. Um, but the Gnostics, one of their primary views on Christianity is that, you know, Christ's purpose wasn't to be crucified on the cross and die for our sins. The Gnostics that Christ was here to kind of wake us up to our divine origins. to say, "Hey, there's something going on on this this planet Earth that you know, you're not who you think you are." But I I just discovered nasticism probably in in 2020. But I'm going to read something from an Gnostic text. This is actually from one of the cotices in the Nagamadi library. This is from what the is referred to as the Apocryphin of John. This is written second century probably about 185 the common era but it talks about a lionfaced serpentine entity. So this is quote from the actual apocryphan of John and when she saw the consequences of her desire it changed into a form of a lionfaced serpent and its eyes were like lightning fires which flash. She cast it away from her outside that place. The her in this is what who the refer to as Sophia which is a emanation of God. She cast it away from her outside that place that no one of the immortal ones might see it. For she had created in ignorance and she surrounded it. She surrounded it with a luminous cloud and she placed a throne in the middle of the cloud that no one might see it except the Holy Spirit who is called the mother of the living and she called his name Yaldabath. So here it is. I see this entity with this lionlike head and a serpentine snake- like body. And our ancestors, ancient humans, were talking about this stuff 2,000 years ago. And here's another line, but it talks about it says that Yaldabath had a multitude of faces, more than any of all of them, so that he could put a face before all of them according to his desires. So basically it's saying in the apocryph this entity can change its face and change how it looks. So narcissism gets into the idea there's these these archons there's emanations of God. Um it it doesn't quite follow the mainstream Christianity path and it's very different than what the Vatican has put out.

Well they they the the the church murdered all these all the Gnostics. They they burned all their writings. They they took them out of the Bible. They and they murdered all these people. So they had such a a a drive to kill them. They didn't want what they were saying out.

Now some ofism I believe did make it into the New Testament. If you look at like John uh 12:31, 14:30 or 1611, it refers to an archon of this world or ruler of this world as as being controlling this world. And the fact that John doesn't refer to God as being the ruler of this world, it's saying something else is ruling this world. That's that's a clear statement of narcissism kind of making it into it. And like the Nazis kind of believe that the god of the Old Testament was a a false god, a bad god referred to as the Demurge or Yaldabel. And the God of the New Testament that who Jesus is is talking about is a whole different God, a higher good transcendent God that's kind of untouchable, unreachable. Now, I'm I'm not here to to preach Christianity or or anything like that. I'm just telling there there's multiple paths to Christianity. And I think

This is what our podcast is all about. Um, we're all about the original Christian movement. So, this conversation is right uh up our audience's alley. We we promote on this podcast we agree 100% that the Vatican the the uh Catholic or orthodox tradition is actually like the third or fourth Christian tradition. It was very late to the game. It totally changed the faith. The Gnostics were very early on. On this podcast we promote the Nazarene movement. They were also called Hebrew Christians. It was the original Hebrew followers of Jesus led by his brother James. and they were they were based in Jerusalem and around the trans Jordan, but they had a lot in common with the Gnostic movement and they had an extensive demonology and angelology much like what you're describing. The one nuance is they didn't think that the God of the Old Testament was evil. They had they believed that the Old Testament had been corrupted and that it's basically a an amalgamation of the good true God who Jesus also revealed meshed in with a a demonic entity, the Hassatan, an adversarial force that got merged together and mishmashed into the Old Testament. So the the Hebrew Christians and the Gnostics, there's a ton of of interplay. They're very similar in a lot of these core beliefs. So this is this is what our audience is all about. This original form of Christianity before the Council of Na before the Roman Empire sank its fangs into it and made it a religion of war and power and empire.

And business.

Exactly. And we see that that force ruling today. I think that same force is ruling today through our governments and these various institutions. It's the same control mechanism that you potentially saw.

There's a spiritual battle going on out there. No doubt doubt in my mind. And the the way to win this is to put forth the the better the better angels of our nature to be healthy forgiveness, healthy love, healthy compassion. It's it's those positive forces and energies and attitudes and approaches that's going to help humanity win this war. Now, after having that hallucination, do you think I told my counselor about it? No way. Do you know why? Because they would have built me up on would have drugged me out e even more so they would have dismissed it as just a hallucination. And I have to admit, James, that was the only thing restoring my sanity after having that that that vision. And actually, at that point, I would say that's where I probably crossed over from a madman to a mystic. Now, I didn't tell anybody about this experience for many many years. Uh I think I I told my future wife about it, but that was like 10 years later. I didn't tell anybody about this experience because I didn't understand it myself. And then to look back on it and to just encounter these images of these entities some well, what is it 199 when this happened? And I just discovered narcissism 2020. How many years went by? I mean, I was trying to put this whole schizophrenic experience. I put air quotes around schizophrenic experience behind me and I, you know, I returned to life of the mundane to, you know, find a job, establish myself in the world and and to uh be productive. So, it just goes to show you that there's a lot of truth in the religious text. I know we have the the the Bible, we have the Old Testament, the New Testament, we have Judeaic sources, Christian sources, but there's even truth to some of the Eastern religions too. Um, you know, be it Buddhism or Hinduism. You my my philosophy is, hey, if God is as infinite as we all think he or she is, then there's got to be an infinite amount of legitimate paths for access. So, I view if there's multiple paths to the Godhead, you choose one that works for you is is kind of my my approach to how how I view the world. Sorry to interrupt you. The core, there's a core in all of these faiths of righteousness, of love, of compassion for the least of these, which is the gospel of Jesus. You, if you know, you didn't love me unless you love the least of these. You must, Jesus said, you must forgive to be forgiven. It's like this metaphysical karmic thing where any unforgiveness you're holding on to in your heart is just connecting you with lower energies. And when you can release that, you could transcend. So I totally agree with you that all of these paths at the root all of these faiths have been corrupted in some sense too but the core the core essence is love and truth.

Absolutely. Now I am by no means a perfect human being but I I I I try to be a decent human being. I try to do the best I can. I mean we live in a world of chaos where we're constantly encountering situations that could be become evil or can become good. And we have to we have to apply our proper judgment and discern between what the correct path we should take. And it's not easy being human. Not at all.

Well, no know that those negative thoughts that are injected into your mind don't come from you. You know, everybody thinks every thought that you have in your head belongs to you because nobody's ever said anything otherwise. That's not true. you you know I really love to talk about so the way you overcame yald deoth that that negative terrifying entity was actually by showing it love and then it you know the uh a beautiful angel came in or you know there's different ways to interpret it but I would love to discuss with you guys the power of love in dealing with these demons and negative voices what is the role Should we? Should we show them love?

That is consistent because anybody I mean they're so disgusting. But anybody who can show them love, they run from it. Just, you know, they they they can't stand it. It's like hitting them with a microwave or a laser beam or something. They they just can't stand being shown love.

Or compassion.

Yeah, it's it's it's a tough question. I've thought about that, too. For example, did I change that previous entity into the beautiful entity by projecting it love or were they two separate entities? Jerry views them as being two separate entities. I'm I keep an open mind for it. I'm I'm really not quite sure. And that's the other thing. Is Is love changing these demons or is it keeping them at bay? I I I don't quite have a solid answer to that as well.

They they don't they don't like it. I'll guarantee you that. I've heard that from scores of schizophrenics. they you know and I tell them if you can do this do it and they can't stand it.

It doesn't it doesn't kill them but they just can't stand it.

So the way I overcame schizophrenia after that I mean I still heard heard the voices after that experience but it was like I know it I now knew that it wasn't my own thoughts. I knew it was an authentic spiritual battle. I knew it was authentically something par paranormal. So, it gave me the focus to be able to stand up to them even more and confront them. And when you start confronting them, they will attack even harder at first. They're kind of like the battle of the bulge. They will come back even more intense and powerful because they don't want you to win. But if they're doing that, it means that you're starting to win. So, initially when you start to confront them, you might have to face even deeper attacks, but realizing it's not you. You're dealing with something paranormal and you can win. You just have to st stand your ground. So I'd say the voices went away probably within a year or two after that. So by '92 93 I don't think I was really hearing the voices at all anymore.

See and that's where the psychiatric mafia and big farmer are so dangerous because they are telling people that your brain is broken. You know that these things are are you know they're hallucinations. In order for anybody to recover, they have to understand just what Anan just said that these voices are not who they are. That these are invaders. So that breaks it breaks them away because if you think that they're you and you're attacking yourself, it's a it's a self-defeating spiral.

It's almost a form of black magic. You're telling someone they're intrinsically have something very wrong with them. And that could that's a negative thought form that these entities can latch on to and that there's no cure other than the only thing they could do is take these toxic medications that are slowly rotting out their brains.

I I think the other reason I was able to cure cure myself is that nobody told me that I couldn't.

That helps.

Right. I I have a question for you. Why do you believe that you were susceptible to this phenomena? because it doesn't sound like you had a drug addiction. Were you were you living in sin? Were what do you think gave the opening to the voices in the first place?

I think deep inside the core of my being, I did have a very strong faith and I don't think it liked that. But having this experience, it crossed over from a faith or belief in God to knowing that there is some form of God. However we choose to define God, I mean, I I see God as being both a fix and a moving target. I just don't think we can our brains are not capable of handling the concept of what God is. We can have glimpses and aspects and portions but to encounter the whole is just it would o overwhelm us. So I I really think that it was basically testing me. It was I had a very deep sense of faith and I think it it didn't like that was one possibility and you know the idea of Asatan you know the the adversary it's there's all different models and stories behind some of these religious myths and sometimes they contradict sometimes they overlap. So from the Judeaic standpoint, Acatan means it's a title. It means the adversary. And asan is actually a part of God's court. As the acetatan tests the human being to see if their soul is good or pure. And know Christianity took it a little different path. They felt like no, Satan's against God. Satan's against humanity. Satan's a individual. So there's different models. In some aspects from the Judeaic perspective, it's more of a title given to whatever I guess you could say whatever angel or demon may act as the adversary. From Christianity, no, Satan's is evil all the time. Satan is against God. But, you know, you look at the book of Job, God and the devil, so to speak, almost like play they're on a play date. I mean, it seems like they're almost like like pals type of thing. And they're they're doing a bet back and forth. I mean, if if if Satan and God were such enemies, I don't think they'd be hanging out making bets, you know, what Job is going to do or not do.

Mhm. Well, we have to, you know, if we believe God is omnipotent and the source of all, the generator of all beings in existence, omnisient, all power, all knowledge existing outside of time and space, then there's it it would be impossible for a a created being to be competing with God, to be like hijacking God's plan because God is the pinnacle of all creation. God has all power. So that that early we believe that the original Hebrew Christian uh paradigm about the devil would be closer to what you just mentioned that it's an assigned angel and as terrifying and real. It's almost like our sparring partner in this realm to develop our characters and our souls. And as horrible and heartbreaking as it can be, you know, I dealt with friends committing suicide and being attacked by demons myself and it was so heartbreaking and just an awful experience. But it totally transformed me all these experiences and it seems that way for you too. What kind of person would would we be if we never had any of these experiences?

Well, I was dealing with a schizophrenic last week in my in my practice where the the voices came out and they said they wouldn't leave. So, I asked them, "Well, what right do you have to be there?" Okay. And uh there was one guy that said the voices said uh uh pornography. So, the guy didn't say that. the voices said that, you know, and and the guy was, you know, like guilty is charged. And there was another one that the voices were telling her, you know, when you ask what right did they have to be there, they could have one after another after another after another and and using Mace, we were getting rid of each one of those as it went along. And this thing was getting more and more furious as we as we this created each of those things. I was surprised that he was giving them to me to be discreated, but I could feel it hitting me through the computer screen. It was like this icky electrical energy. And the the client I was working with, she was in Greece. She said the room got so cold that she had to go put on a sweater.

Oh my god.

Wow.

Yeah. There's there's all these openings. Porn is a big one. Addiction. even gossiping or like I said holding on to unforgiveness.

Um well the big ones are sexual physical or emotional trauma. They you know trauma just opens opens up you know it's kind of like um kind of like amphetamine but it's it's not as volatile. Uh the Ouija boards are another one. You know, I've talked to clients who started playing on the Ouija board and after a while that voice appeared in their head and they were talking in in their head and they couldn't get rid of it. You know, um, you know, drugs are another one.

Um, I have I have a question. Do you think entities can be like sexually transmitted if

Yeah.

Yeah. from one person to the other?

Yeah.

Yeah. I've talked to a number of uh clients who, you know, both male and female that felt they were being raped by these spirits and one of them said it was more enjoyable than actual physical, you know, sexual act.

Wow.

There was one prisoner in U that I was talking to, he was uh he he had this one entity that he said was it was a female that was constantly raping him, you know. And I I made a comment. And I said, 'Well, you you know, you would be the most popular guy on the yard. I mean, you know, something something to that effect. Uh he said, "No, no, it's not like that. It's like when it's happening all the time and this this entity would never speak. It would just kind of breathe, you know, in it in his ear, you know, like, you know, in his ear." He he'd hear that. But he says it's all the time, everywhere. Uh and it can hit anytime. He says it's a nightmare. And there was one female client uh there was she she was the top salesman for a furniture company. She said when she got hit she had to go into the warehouse because it was so intense you know get away with it. So

I don't know what they call that the homunculus or something like if it's male or female.

Yeah. But they they do exist. I've spoken to a lot of patients who they were experienced that.

Well a crazy story. Yeah, I think that these entities can get jealous, too, because years ago, uh, an ex-girlfriend of mine when we were dating, the first time we ever kissed, we were at a party and we went into like a staircase for little privacy and we had our first kiss and right as we kissed, it was like some force pushed us and we almost fell down the stairs and we're like, "Did you feel that?" And she's like, "Oh my god, yeah." So, I'm like, I wonder if there was some spirit either that either had a thing for me or her that got jealous, but it really felt like a jealous energy like trying to sabotage it and that that was one of my first paranormal experiences of my life that I can remember.

Yeah. I mean, there's stuff going on out there like, you know, we speak we speak of the occult and the occult, well, there has a variety of definitions. There is not necessarily a bad thing. It's it's like the word guru. You know, you have a tennis guru, that means they're really good at tennis. You could have some guru that's just milking money off people left and right. That's a bad thing. Well, same with the word occult. They're all like occult Catholic practices. There are occult Christian practices. But it's when it's when they're used properly, you know, for nefarious means where it can become problem. I guess you might say that becomes black magic as opposed to to white magic. And I remember somebody saying something, you know, the problem is as human beings, we really don't know what we're doing.

You know, when they when they experiment with some of this occult stuff and you know, they probably have a point a good point there. You know, do we know what we're doing? Should we even be going there type of thing? I I think a lot of time these spirits, they're like a thoroughbred racehorse. If you're a jockey, well trained, you know how to handle them. If this is your first time riding a horse and you get on a thoroughbred racehorse, you're dead.

I think it's the same idea with some of these spirits. Not necessarily that they're bad or evil. It's just we're not at a point in our spiritual development to be able to properly handle them, interact, and deal with them.

I think there's something in the Bible, I think it's a quote in the Bible, even says, "Test the spirits." I think that that comes from, in other words, it's like your being in politics or friends or in a workforce. Some people are generally your friends are looking out for your best interest, others are not. It's there's probably that same hierarchy in the spirit world. Sony spirits might be okay or cool to hang out with. Other ones, no. You got to protect yourself against them.

Yeah. And they'll try to come across as your friends, you know, when they start off. Once they get your trust, it's like they got their hook in you, you know, and then uh then they eventually once they got your trust, they'll turn on you and by then it's too late.

False light.

And they can appear as anything. I mean, they they can tell you anything. They're consummate liars. You can't believe anything they say. They they they'll lie about everything.

So that second entity like I'm Yeah. could it could have been a false light entity. It could have been what they call a luciferian entity. But the thing is if that second entity truly was evil, why did it give me the will to live? Why did it give me hope again? I mean, I'm just saying if it was something that was there to destroy me, it should have destroyed me. It didn't. It had the opposite effect on on my psyche and and my my being.

Judge a tree by its fruits.

Talking about the the female or the the the female one. Yeah, the the second one. I mean, just

No, no, she had no intention to kill you. The first one did.

And now the second one projected love. I'm wondering can a demon project love? I guess that's a question I'm putting out for. Do you think a demon can project?

Exactly. Are they even in capable of expressing that level of of beauty and love? I don't not that. It's it's kind of like a thief loves stealing stuff. He he'd rather steal it than pay for it, you know? Uh it it's they love bad things, you know, like a drug addict, they they love the drugs. So, it's it's a it's a negative kind of love. It's not like a a positive kind of love. Uh it's the love for bad things. That's that's what Swedenborg says takes people to heaven or hell. It's all based on what you love, right? Do you love goodness? Do you love people? Or do you love, you know, hookers or drugs or crime or whatever?

Yeah. Your love, you magnetize to a realm with other beings who love those same things. So if you love robbing people, you go to a realm where all the souls rob each other all the time. And that's what hell is, right?

Yeah. I've I've extensively studied Swedenborg and and the the negative entities that he talks about match almost exactly, you know, what these schizophrenic voices are, how they behave, you know, the kind of things they say.

So hopefully we've helped your your audience, James, just you know, hey, if they know somebody that's dealing with schizophrenia, I guess what should they do? Should they uh look up Jerry or should they if they come to the conclusion that it's not their own voices that it's coming from something authentically paranormal? That's half the battle.

Yes.

If they have to figure out them, they they have a good probability of beating this and getting past it and everything getting and getting off the the drugs that they're on.

Now, the second thing is to understand that they're consummate liars. And on my website at jerrymarzini.com, you you go there, then go to articles and under the articles, there's a three-part program free charge that talks about how to how to deal with their lies. You know, that they are liars and and what to do about it. But the the abbreviated version of that is to tell them, I see you. I don't believe you. You're a liar. get out.

So they don't want to be seen. They don't want to be recognized. That's the last thing they want is for people to understand who and what they are.

100%.

I think my final prayer to God, I mentioned how I prayed to God to give me a sign. I think that was the sign. I think God said, "Okay, I want to show you what is actually occurring." And he made it visual so that I could see what was what was occurring and then be able to uh heal myself from that. That that's kind of the way I I look at it. and to help the thousands of people that you help by telling the truth about these things over top of what the psychiatric mafia is doing.

Yeah. Yeah. That's the beauty of it all. Your experience is now potentially helping hundreds or thousands of other people understand what they're dealing with and helping them overcome it. So God uses all things for good, which is the miracle of this universe.

And it takes a great amount of bravery to do what Anan has just done. I mean, yeah, most most people they they can't overcome the stigma of it, you know? They just can't deal with that. But, you know, yeah, I made it this far in life. I'm getting close to retirement age, so I got I got it's no longer a threat anymore. Oh, yeah. I I didn't I wouldn't talk about it because just the stigma associated with it. The the idea someone's going to pull up your health records and kind of use it against you in the future and like, you know, Yeah. When I was working, I I don't want that. I didn't talk about this stuff either. you know, they would have gigged me in a heartbeat.

Well, one, you know, we could wrap up soon. This has been absolutely fascinating. But I wanted to ask you, Anon, if you were going through this experience again, is there anything you would do differently? You mentioned recognizing that the thoughts are not your own is a huge step, but are there other steps you can take to help someone who's out there and is potentially hearing these voices and looking for guidance?

Sure. I mean, I wish I knew about narcissism years years ago. It would have made my experience much easier because I I went through it. I went through the fire. I mean, it was it was the shamanic journey and everything else. But if somebody's starting to hear the voices, they're having existential crises to realize it's kind of part of the path of our soul. And that to understand that, hey, external entities, paranormal experiences, they they're they're real. They're real. You you're you're not mad. You're dealing with something right now.

First nations.

And then I think reading spiritual religious texts can help for those that are readers. You know, read some of the texts. read some some of the the better aspects of the Bible and you have to be careful because there are both negative and positive aspects and phrases within the Bible. So you got to be careful. You got to discern what you're going to pull from. And I think that's done deliberately to kind of test us test our souls to Yes.

because you somebody can focus on a certain phrase or passage in the Bible and use it for conducting evil or negative things. But there's other passages in the Bible or other texts the the Gita um even the even the Quran the Quran has has some beautiful texts in it. And I'm going to say this, but the Bible has almost 10 times more statements of evil, negativity than the Quran, believe it or not. But it's just unfortunately certain people tend to focus on the negative passages because they're in an evil they're in their vibration is an evil frequency.

That's why they're focusing on those passages. They're missing the the ones that have higher truths and better truths.

That's an important point. you know, the one thing they need to do is stay away from negative stuff like uh uh you know, these murder mysteries on TV or war stories or, you know, anything negative on that TV because that the TV's got a horrendous amount of negative stuff in it.

Social media, too.

Yep. That feeds these things. Uh what is it? That that acid rock music. What do they call that stuff? Um, like death metal or something.

Yeah. Yeah. Heavy heavy metal. They They love that stuff. They love that stuff, you know. Stay clear of that, you know.

You got to be careful negative.

You got to be careful what portals you may unknowingly open up. That that that's what I'm going to say.

Yes.

Um, James, if I might mention, I did I did write a book.

Amazing.

If I can present it. It's called uh Revelations on Interstellar Highway 10.

Wow. And I have a website asteroxrisising.com. It's it's quite the manuscript, but it took me about 30 years to write. But this is what actually writing of this book led me to nasticism. It led me to Jerry Marzinski. So there's a path to this. And what this book does, it presents several spiritual perspectives from all different religions. It's it's kind of my search for truth is what it was. I'm trying to figure out what God is or is not. And this is kind of some of my experiences. So if anybody's interested in it, you can check out my website again which is aststeroxrising.com and it's available on Amazon and a few other platforms too both ebook and a paperback format.

Okay. And we wrote a book too. It's called an amazing journey through the psychotic mind that talks about how we came to the conclusion that these things are entities and that they're not, you know, auditory hallucinations. Right.

And um my co-author, she she struggled with these things like an did when she was younger, you know, so we were constantly back and forth, you know. I was always running stuff past her and she was saying, "No, no, this is how it is kind of." So I had the the wide perspective from the outside and she actually went through it like a naan did.

Wow. Fascinating. Well, everyone go by their books. We're going to have them in uh the the bio below this video. Jerry Anon, this was absolutely fascinating and moving. Thank you guys so much. The one last point I want to make is about reading the Bible. How there's good and bad mixed in. Guys, if you want the cheat code for how to read the Bible, Jesus told us what the greatest commandment is. It's to love God and love others as you love yourself. So, anything you read in the Bible that does not vibe or coincide or align with the greatest commandment of all is not divinely inspired. Same as that. If if God is commanding you to genocide the amolites or telling you how to have slaves, that clearly does not align with the golden rule to love God, love others as you love yourself. So this is the key of this whole conversation. All of these experiences, they're catalysts to teach us how to love and to live the Jesus way. So thank you everyone so much for tuning in. Thank you Jerry. Thank you Ann. This was such a blessing to have you and we truly appreciate it from the bottom of our heart. Stay tuned for next episode. We have some more amazing content coming for y'all. And check out Jerry's book and Anan's book in the bio. Much love y'all.