Financial Audit: Intervention

You accused her of cheating. You had to go through all her Instagram messages, all her text messages, all that.

He just leaned in to kiss me and I just let it happen. I I didn't know what to do. You have no agency. What the hell is this? What?

He's like 6' five.

One thing you don't know is that uh yeah, she has like fully just gone out and sent her ex while you guys are together.

He tried to specifically turn off the vanish mode autodelete stuff on your phone and you wouldn't let him. It wasn't on.

That shit was literally on.

It was not. I saw you grab my phone and turn it on and then be like, "Look, it's on."

This is the moment where we can stop an actual mistake from happening. Once you guys get slightly out of the excitement, this relationship's done.

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Hi, my name is Stacy. I'm 25 years old.

I am Aaron, 26. We're from Ever, Washington.

And this is Financial Audit. Hey guys, thanks for coming to Austin. Happy to have you. Stacy, what do you do for a living in Everett?

I am a commercial wallpaper hanger and painter.

Okay, interesting. I I've never even heard of people doing that. The painting part, sure, but commercial wallpaper, why not? Okay, sure. What do you make doing that? Hanging wallpaper.

456 an hour.

Really? $45 an hour?

Okay. You're doing well. I'd say you're doing really well. Okay. Wow. I mean, that's as far as hourly income goes on this show. pretty damn good. How many hours a week are you working?

40, but lately I've been doing like 60. It's been pretty brutal.

That's incred. Well, by choice or they're making you

uh a little bit of both. I'm the only wallpaper hanger. They're hard to come by.

Yeah, cuz who the hell is hanging wallpaper? But sure.

Starbucks wants the wallpaper.

You've been doing a lot of double nights.

So many Starbucks.

Nice. Very. You work nights?

Yeah, sometimes.

Okay, cool. So, what does that translate to into money that hits your account per paycheck cycle? I think roughly uh 1,400 a week.

Lot of taxes are what hits. Yeah.

Well, not a lot of taxes. You're not in that lot of taxes range.

No, you're not.

Okay. H the union. I don't They take a lot for like a tax.

Okay. Maybe union, but that's not taxes like in the state of Washington either. It's like you're not

like No.

Okay. Yeah.

No.

Got to lock in a little bit. It's like 9. It's like 9% over there,

huh?

My taxes.

9% what?

I don't know.

I don't know anything about taxes, man. I just go on Turbo Tax. I file every year. I don't really give a shit.

Well, sure, but we're talking about her.

Okay. So, that is $6,66 a month.

Okay. On average, I you know, some weeks are going to be or some months are longer, some weeks or some months are less, but that's what it averaged out to. Pretty good. Now Aaron, we can talk about you since you wanted to talk about yourself. Very happy about that. How's your opportunity? What do you do for your job?

I am a uh maintenance technician for an apartment complex company.

Okay. So you don't make the money.

Uh no, but you know I I do try.

Hey, shack up with the golden goose. The mother of money. Sugar mama. We love it. What do you make?

I make about 25 an hour.

Okay. But you know, for Washington, obviously you do need more money. 25 would stretch further here than there, but Okay, very good. What uh 40 hours a week?

Uh yeah, just about. You have to get OT approved by the bigger bosses and whatnot, but you know, if you're encountering in a leak or a fire situation, that kind of just

So, what hits your account per paycheck cycle? What is that cycle?

Um I would say average it can be about 16,000 and some change

every

uh sorry, every two weeks.

Okay.

1,600.

Oh, yeah. I mean I

Okay. No, I mean I understood. Uh, but okay. 3,200. Very good. Okay. Wonderful. So like half of what she's making. You guys are doing well together.

You guys are doing well together.

Yeah. For the most part.

How long have we been together?

5 months.

5 months.

Okay. So this is not a marriage. I don't at least I don't think it's You guys are not married, right?

15 years though. So I mean it's been We're not married.

Well, that has nothing to do with anything I just asked. But I appreciate the lore drop. Um,

hey, it's good

so far.

What is

that? We've known each other for so long.

Okay. Very good. But you've been together for 5 months.

Yeah.

Okay. I don't really understand the the point of that part, but I Thank you. That was beneficial. So, $9,266, but I can't really combine it cuz you guys have only been together for 5 months. Do you even live together? I mean, probably not. That would be crazy. Yeah, we

Okay, that's crazy.

Yeah, we live together currently.

How long have you guys lived together?

About Yeah, five months.

December.

Yeah,

December.

You guys moved in on the first date?

Yeah. I mean, if you really want to say it like that, then yeah, just about the answer would be preferable.

Yeah, we moved in basically right away. Yeah.

How how Okay. I mean, you guys are honeymoon phasing it. That's fine. Listen, I mean, is marriage even in the picture here? I don't know. With how quick you guys are moving? I'm surprised you're not at this point. Um, okay. Uh, well, we're not combining this. I mean, that is an interesting financial position, I guess, to be in on this side of the table.

We want to combine things. We

5 months in. What the hell is wrong with you? That's a mess. No, don't be a delusional.

We need to get our shit together before we combine things. And then I want to for sure.

Yes, but I wouldn't say that's when you combine. When you get your shit together. I think you should get your shit together regardless. I don't think we're getting together. We're combining all of our bank accounts five months after getting together and immediately moving in. That's a little too quick. And I'm someone that has no problem with moving quick, but combining finances five months in, honeymoon phase, what the hell is wrong with you? Not even close. Not even something we'd consider.

You know, just kind of happens. And

it sure does. And you have a choice whether or not it does for the most part, including combining finances. So, what the hell are you talking about? It happens. What?

Well, I mean, I love her. I mean, what do you want me to say?

No. Very good. But you're in the honeymoon phase. I mean, come on. before we combine all these accounts, before you have any legal protections that come with marriage, by the way. So, like, all right, to be fair, she's the one that mostly wants to combine shit at this point. Want to combine?

Well, I'm not saying that. It's just like he just said, we're not we're not even married yet. So, I don't

I know, but I thought you wanted to, too.

Look, you're the breadwinner in this relationship. Let's just

Well, make that very blatantly truth. I mean, as much as I have a fully comped unit, so technically I'm making 37 an hour if we're being realistic, cuz rent's like what, $1,750,

but I mean, you're already wanting to combine. I want you to have your own. I got my own stuff. You'd think it would be he would who would want to combine cuz he's the one that doesn't make money for the area and you make good money, but you want to combine. Why? Cuz you have like no pressures. You feel nothing.

Uh, well, I mean, obviously there's some pressure else I wouldn't be here. But I feel like I mean h where do I want to go with this?

Why do you want to combine so quick?

You think I'd be the gold digger.

Who's the married? Okay, that's a bit weird. Can Can we not like not be married to another guy before you?

To be fair, I told her I wanted I wanted to wait a year before we talked seriously about marriage. I mean, we talk about it. You know what I'm saying? Like who doesn't? uh just from when we started dating around December. So, I mean, it's not like I'm looking to marry her right now. Do I want to? I mean, yeah, but

Well, I feel like with the path she's going, she'd do it in this exact second.

If I could marry you guys, I feel like she would.

I mean,

she's laughing like a witch about it.

Yeah. I mean, she kind of Yeah. Sometimes I don't want to go home to my wife. Anyh who, so I mean your wife.

See, he's not opposed.

I mean, I call her my wife.

Are you guys married?

No, I call her my wife. It's more in the metaphorical sense. We're we're boyfriend girlfriend, but of five months. This is like a high school thing. What the hell are you guys doing? The reality is you guys rem at a funeral and you her that night.

Yeah.

There you go. Now, there is an actually interesting element into this. Why did you say I don't care about you in a pool?

Talk if I'm being honest with you.

Insane.

Yeah. So, you guys met at a funeral

pretty much married and you bent her over over the casket. Hey, I was going through the divorce process. Okay.

Were you guys at this funeral that you guys fucked up?

Our buddy reached out to me. He wanted me there for moral support. I tried gathering friends.

You should have been there for moral support instead of bending her over.

All right. That was later that night. We were very drunk, but you know, I I could have said no. I mean, we love going berserk. I mean, I love it. It's It's great. It's great. I love it.

I don't say that after he just said, "Oh."

Oh, he did.

Yes. You said you were she she was like blacked out drunk.

Oh, we were both drunk.

Yeah, but you've seen the posters.

Seen the posters? If

Have you seen the posters?

That's a double standard.

How long were you in the divorce process at this point? Do you know?

Oh, god. Like 2 months. Not very long.

Yeah, my husband was um deployed. I was trying to figure

Oh, very good.

Yeah. No, he was deployed and I was trying to figure out like I was trying to get all my ducks in a row before, you know, like leaving. And

you're leaving a dude while he's overseas? was pretty brutal. He was an asshole

He was an asshole I had to get out of there. Um

what was he an asshole He was overseas just texting mean things.

Well, it was life is just easier when he wasn't home. When he was home, I did all the cooking. I did all the cleaning. I took care of everything. I felt like a mother when I don't have kids. Like I I don't know. It's just every time he left, it was easier when he was gone. And so, I mean, why put myself through all of that when I could just go somewhere else?

Yeah. Yeah. And immediately check up to a funeral with him. Okay. And you weren't married, right?

No, I was just dating a 40-year-old.

Yeah, you heard that. I did not stutter.

No, I'm just looking at your age. I mean, I don't care. I think you were a 26-y old.

Always wanted to a mil in high school. And you know, I'm 25.

26. Oh, 25. Wow.

Yeah. Well, you know, I was a bitch

Basically a kid.

Yeah. I was groomed. I Uhhuh.

That's some strong language.

Yeah.

Okay. Stop.

So, okay. Well, you were dating this woman.

Uh, end of how long?

It was about two years, about to be three.

What? You were three?

Yeah, I was about We were about to go on our third year of dating, but near the end.

When did you break up with her?

Uh, it was before her and I did anything to be fair. So,

okay.

It was already going downhill.

He's giving a face.

What is that face? You want to you want to put it out there? You want to lay your nuts out on the table?

Fine. My My nuts are tucked under the table.

What do you want to say?

Feel like this is the time out. This Okay. I love my strong

Okay, dude. My goodness. You're a

They had a little crossover, but I'm not supposed to say that. I just gave a look. So, I mean,

you're not supposed to say it.

I don't think so, right?

No. What? No.

Well, you guys didn't tell me.

I thought there was some crossover. Wasn't that on the list of like, oh, you just don't want to call

Okay. Oh, go. Beat that name for what it's worth. Yes, we're not calling the ex. That's on your list. Okay, that's fine. But what? There was a crossover of what?

It wasn't really a crossover. I It was

of seeing that person and her at the funeral.

No, wait. Sorry.

Crossover of what?

Like, well, you guys were dating kind of even though it was like towards the end when things were rocky.

No, I broke it off with her before anything really happened.

I'm saying that. I don't know.

I wasn't aware of that. You sure you just say that for the camera that there was no crossover? Cuz it seems like there was a crossover.

No, there there was not cuz then the relationship would just be based on cheating. I mean

at least at least on my end. I mean at least on my end. So

it would be based on cheating. Why did she have the perception that it was based on cheating? I mean, like I had said earlier, I'm just chalking it up as like miscommunication. I probably just didn't simply tell her that.

That's what I'm assuming at this point. I mean,

okay, I feel like I'm being kind of jerked off right now.

I could I mean,

okay, that's not a joke. That's like I feel like Come on. I feel like first of all, she was like, "Weren't she supposed to not say that?" And then like no one told me anything. And it's just like, and now you're saying it didn't happen. I'm reading this very weird.

I do not know why she said that.

Why would she say Wait, didn't we want to not talk about that or something?

We talked about a no no list in there. I just didn't want to

the no list. Yeah, but you told me the no list.

Certain things that I didn't really want to specify on the timeline cuz I didn't want to

timeline.

Yeah, timeline. Yeah.

Well, we're not giving dates.

No.

No. I'm just asking if you were seeing her while you guys No, she Oh,

but there was that thing with her kid.

What thing? Do you want to elaborate on that?

Stop seeing her. So, the kid like missed you and wanted to see you.

Oh, yeah. She had called the Well, you know, we're co- the ex and I were still co-workers and whatnot. And I had gotten pretty close with the child. We would game together, blah blah blah. and he didn't really have the necessary closure to understand like, oh, you know, Aaron is not going to be here anymore. Okay. Okay. Whatever. That's a mess. I I don't know. I don't understand.

I feel like I'm getting jerked around. I I don't know what's real, what's not, BUT WHO KNOWS what the relationship is based on. Um Oh, but I think we all get the vibe. So, why did we move in so quick? Was it cuz you had nowhere else to go after immediately leaving her, being with her? No. Um, I was already living in Excuse me. I'm so sorry. Uh, I was already living in Monroe at the time with a old roommate I was I've been friends with since high school. Uh, to make a long story short on that, my company offers free comped rent for their workers. So, I wanted to park.

Yeah. Very uh I wanted to jump ship,

have some free rent. We were discussion. I mean, at the time, I was either going to move in with my parents or my grandpa. And I talked to him about it. He was like, "Oh, we could just get an apartment together."

Okay. Wait, so you guys at the funeral?

Yes.

Stuck it raw.

Yes.

Oh, a hookup at the funeral. Not even rat. I finished inside. I painted her like a canvas. What do you want me to say?

No one needs to know that.

He's going to get all descriptive. I mean, Jesus.

I wasn't going to go that descriptive. I didn't need to know. Isn't that risky?

I took a I took a plan B the next day.

Thank cuz I'm going to say with how quick

noises

well uh not not the way you guys are doing it. The reason I actually asked that I don't ask that just cuz I'm a degenerate and I am but either even without that it's because how quick you guys are moving. You know how many accidental pregnancies happen in these kind of situations? And if you're raw dogging on that first me

babies are slimy and gross right now.

Right. And you're not on birth control and he's blasting raw blood load. So

I'm on birth control now. I'm good.

She's always been on birth control.

Uh I mini pill.

Great. So the like Yep. Okay. Good luck.

What's so bad about that though?

The implant sucks. I was on my period for like 3 months at a time.

Shit every day exact same time. No flaws. And that's even still the lowest effective. But even still. Okay. So blew that load. And then how many days after? Well, and then how quick did we move in?

Uh, okay. So,

a month after that, right?

Just about a little under a month.

Yeah.

And we got on a lease together.

Uh,

shared lease. Cuz that's risky. A month in

to even just see each other.

I paid for all the deposits. I'm sure you did. He has no money.

Yeah, I didn't have the money at the time. I was going to have my grandma help me with a little bit of it.

We're confident he's not with you just for the money and housing. And

I'm not no gold digger. I think that's some bullshit bullshit. Housing's free from him. So, I mean, I don't know. I just had to pay the damage deposit.

Yeah, just with how quick he's moving, though. But, but no, you're all for it, though.

I mean, we're about to get the twobedroom, and I want I want to pay for all that stuff.

Oh, you're upgrading.

Yeah. So, it's going to be

upgrading while on financial audit.

Uh, so I was what I had wanted when I first was looking for the comp department was a 2x1. I wanted the space. She came into the picture. Now, that became very much more required, but one wasn't ready at the time. So, we've been making the one by one work

and then we got approved for it. So, all we have to pay for is just

Okay. Okay. Maybe you're not gold digging. That's fine.

A new pet in Yeah. I want to pay I don't give a fuck. Okay. I want to pay for all that.

I don't care about this pet. So, maybe you were trying to quickly get out of this husband situation though.

Hey, I would have moved in with my grandma or my my

Well, exactly. I'm just still sus at how quick you guys moved in together. I'm trying to figure that out. I feel like someone was running from something, but you get free housing, but you're with you're going through the divorce. It's just you don't move in that quick. You don't get on a lease together that quick. I know you put the money down, but even still, it's so risky.

I will admit, I usually like to move slower in a relationship, but

this is the literal opposite, but even still, lack of that. It's like

I'm the love of your life. Okay. There is no risk.

Oh, there's that. You're not wrong about that. I've wanted you since high school and then I finally wasn't chicken shit to admit that finally. Everyone knew. Everyone knew I was I was so into you. But

who's obsessed with high school? This guy. I don't understand. People's who people's whose lives even starting mid20s who are still obsessed with high schools live the most pathetic life. It's the highlight of their lives. Like what the hell Okay, great. You worshiped her in high school. Yippi. We all had high school crushes and you finally got yours.

Yeah.

Just using your high school crush to get out of that marriage. Move in real quick. Have some fun. You taking advantage of me?

No. No. I wouldn't do that.

Sometimes I feel like you don't believe me though.

I mean, why?

Why? Why?

Why? Why? Why do you even feel that? There's been a couple instances where I ask her why she even feels that.

I don't know. I feel like he he doubts me a lot or like he questions my like actions or I can't even think of anything specific, but I just feel like he questions my motives a lot. You want to be my sugar daddy? Is that what you want?

I mean, traditionally, I'd like to like to I mean,

you get a better job

because we have the free housing. We want to save up enough money to get a house after being married, obviously,

which could be like in 5 seconds with your guys' rate with like 30 kids. Like, you guys are going crazy.

Shit 60k to buy a house right now in 5 seconds. Yeah, I'd get married to her, but that's just not a reality.

Okay. Can you shit 60k in 5 seconds?

Dude, you are just Who is around you ever in an enjoyable way? I don't understand.

Very fair statement to me.

That's not a good thing, buddy.

I'm so used to it. I've heard it for so long.

And you like this?

You know, the day is never

You like his personality?

It's never boring.

I'm bored listening to him. It's It's What the hell He's just saying things for I don't know, reaction or like I I don't I don't understand. No, this is all me.

You can't tell me you don't want a reaction from people when you say certain things.

If I'm really trying to piss them off, lay your dick on everyone off. You're just saying things for Were you a loser in high school?

A little bit.

Yeah. You're obsessed with high school. No reason. He's trying to make up for it. This is This is how people talk that we're like losers.

Yes. Okay.

Okay.

He's making up for it. Hey, you got the girl. Move the on, dude.

Noted.

Move the on. Get over it. There were good times in high school, but stop with THIS HIGH SCHOOL. I DON'T CARE. I digress.

No one cares. You shouldn't care.

Dude, I had a great high school experience. I loved my high school. Okay.

I hated high school. It was terrible. And that's great, too. That doesn't matter. But I don't like jerk off to it. It isn't the height of my life cuz my life isn't pathetic. If high school or college is the height of your life, you're not living life. you just moved on and just didn't do anything.

It's not like I'm jerking my dick to the high school memories. I just I reminisce about the good times I had in high school. My home life was shit then and high school was my escape at the time. So, I mean, I just kind of reminisce from time to time and drowning in student loans with massive interest rates. I see it on the show all the time. People get a loan to advance their careers only to be left with skyhigh interest rates and crazy minimums that leave their paycheck gutted. Maybe you've already gone to a normal lender to try to refinance your private student loans and they looked at your less than perfect credit score and hung up the phone. Maybe part of you even thought, "Yeah, that tracks. I guess I'm stuck. Stop it." You don't deserve to be buried in a highinterest loan for the rest of your life because you hit a rough patch. The banks aren't rejecting you because you're a lost cause. They're rejecting you because you're not profitable enough for them at a manageable rate. That's where Y refi comes in. Why Rei works specifically with borrowers who can't get refinancing through traditional lenders. It's their whole thing. They refinance private student loans, so you're only paying interest between.1% and 5.99%. And they legally cannot charge you more than that. They'll even customize your payments to get you out of debt at a pace that works for you. And if you need a co-borrower released from your loan, they've got a program for that, too. Plus, their team is in Phoenix, Arizona. So, when you call them, you talk to a real person. It only takes 3 minutes to check your rates, and it doesn't impact your credit score. If you've been told no a million times, try Yrefi. Head to yrefi.com/hammer. That is y refy.com/hammer or call8 yrefi78. That is 888 yrefi78. Break free from the highinterest trap and get your finances under control once and for all. If you or your child spent years growing up on social media and experienced serious mental health struggles, you should hear this. Recently, a jury ordered Meta and YouTube to pay millions for their role in designing and promoting addictive platforms. They knew their apps could contribute to anxiety, depression, and body image issues, but did not share those risks while prioritizing profits. The recent historic verdict underscores the consequences of those decisions. Now, Morgan and Morgan is stepping up to hold these platforms accountable for the harm they caused. Click the link in my bio to take a short quiz. You may be entitled to a potential recovery of over $1,000. Listen, I mean, you haven't brought it up yet, Stacy, but I'm being told you have trust issues of Mr. Aaron from some previous experiences or things. I I don't know what what what's happening. If you're moving so quick with this guy and you're having these trust issues, like what what are they? That's bad. How will you rebuttal, Stacy?

It's not a rebuttal, but if you are having trust issues, of which I'm being told you haven't brought up yet, I want to hear them. I I did almost leave that night, but basically during the Super Bowl, um

Oh, okay.

During the Super Bowl, he had his old roommate come over and you know, we were sitting there watching it and the old roommate looks at uh looks at you and says, "Oh, so when are you going to pay me rent?" And I looked at him because he told me that he stopped paying rent two months ago. And then like two weeks before that when we went to Oregon for a trip, he, you know, you were like, "Oh, I have all this money now. you know, I feel so free and happy, which that was a lie, too, obviously. And then, yeah, it finally came out that he was still paying him rent. How much was it like $900?

Wait, why?

So,

just to be nice, which you were way too nice sometimes. That is

Yeah.

Wait, what's what's the trust issue

that he's like doing it by? Why? Yeah, but but no, you were like a month in. Like, why would he even have to tell you what he's doing with his money?

I know, but he shouldn't be paying

unless he's specifically lying. I mean, I agree he probably shouldn't, but

when I have to pay for all like the groceries and the damage deposits and the pet deposits and I'm struggling,

but you shouldn't be. You should That's the point. You shouldn't be taking care of everything a month into a relationship. It makes no sense and creates weird dependencies,

but he has the money to pay other people.

Exactly. And you shouldn't be taking care of someone a month into a relationship. This is like you guys are just figuring out having fun.

For the record, I don't want her to take care of me. I'm just saying. Either way, you probably shouldn't have been given him money. Why were you?

It was very short notice to give my old roommate the heads up like, "Hey, I need to move out now."

You didn't have a lease agreement with him, though, so it's just not necessary.

No, but it's the courtesy. I've been friends with

And that place is not worth $900 a month. Like, that was not worth it. Should have been like $400 at the most.

Peace of mind. I didn't have to worry about the tweakers in Everett. I mean, Jesus Christ. Monroe is probably the one and only place I don't have to feel like I have to bring my gun around. Anyhow, I was being nice. I told him I'd pay him about 3 months of rent when rent comes,

which is insane. You don't have to do that.

Okay, to be fair, no one has to be fair with that organ. No, he didn't have to ask. He's my friend. I wanted to help him out. And to be fair with that organ shit, by the way, no,

for the organ shit for the organ shit. I wasn't even paying him around that time. So that was the truth when I told you I actually feel so fine for a month.

I pay him for two months.

No, that's bullshit bullshit.

All right, for one of the months. I'll give you that one.

See, don't lie to me now.

Why are you lying? Well, I don't understand the point.

Don't do that.

Wh What is the point? Why create trust issues this closely? Why lie? It's It was pointless. I don't get it.

I just wish you could have been honest with me. Yeah. Do you is this like a repeated pattern? Just these lies for no reason to look better cuz what a stupid pointless thing to lie about. And if I catch someone lying about that, it makes me question everything. Cuz when there's actually consequential things talking about, well, I mean earlier I felt like you were lying to me and now you're just calling a small lies. Like I don't understand. Feel like I can't trust you. What? At the end of the day, I wanted to just help him. And I'm sorry that you

really picked up a lot of the burden of paying a lot of the bills, the food.

Does he even pay rent to his dad?

Yeah, of course he does.

Oh, okay. But that's not even again what matters. I mean, you can do what you want with your money, but if you're lying about it, that's the weird thing, right? Cuz we're not married. You're barely even in the relationship at that point. You were literally a month in. We're talking Super Bowl night. So, it just it it makes no sense. I don't know. You guys are moving way too quick. It's scary. And then this is going to blow up and things are going to be intertangled. And I've had to deal with this on the show who people exes have had money that's been already intertangled and we've had to like try to rip it apart and it's weird. It get it gets up. And she says she's noticing sketchy behaviors on your transactions, too. What What are they? Should you even be noticing transactions 5 months in on a ship? Maybe, maybe that's okay.

I just noticed a lot of zels. I've never seen so many zel transfers. Is it zel or is it something like PayPal or whatever?

Oh, well, with my so many zel transfers with Navy Federal, it's zel cuz it's baked into the app or the bank institution.

Why are so many zel transfers? Why do you need that much? Why can't you do like an automatic withdrawal or like have it like automatically put in your checking or something? There's so many zels. It's so that I don't have a lot of money in my checking for all the shit that I pay for on my end

and then I won't have any money. I can at least control it to an extent.

That's just exhausting. I mean,

that's necessary. I feel like that's not normal.

It's exhausting, but as you can see, we're on the show. My money management is shit

So, I mean,

but I'm also zelling you the most for all the wine you want me to get while I'm at work. And then afterward,

I feel like that's I feel like you zel a lot of other people. I can pull up my Navy Federal right now. Show it to Papa Hammer right here. And he's going to probably take my sign on this one.

I don't need to look.

Okay.

Okay. You're buying her a lot of wine.

Uh when I'm at

You don't buy me that much wine. It's only when you go to Costco.

The zelling thing is not the biggest issue. But is that not a little bit of a wakeup call that quick into the relationship? She's seeing zels and she's like already red flags and alarms are going off in her head. She doesn't trust you already and you guys are moving so quick that when the honeymoon excitement ends, the only thing that's going to be left is the lack of trust. There's no foundation here other than excitement cuz a load got dropped on a day of a funeral. So, it's just going to be lack of trust that's left. It's going to be fights. It's going to be battles. It's going to be brutal. I just love Costco. I mean, Jesus Christ. They just

What? I mean, that's that Okay.

What?

Nothing. I kind of spaced out a little bit, but you know

what?

Yeah, just a little pathetic. A little bit.

What's wrong with you? Why can't you just listen? It's scary that she can't trust you at this point when everything is so good. What's it going to be when everything becomes normal? The excitement is done. It's normal life. At that point, all that's going to be left is the lack of trust.

I mean, you can trust me. I've been pretty cards on the table about a lot of shit at this point. We've

been good. We've gone through our road bumps

and pretty intense.

Yeah, I I will say they were very goddamn intense, but

you know, I I love you a lot. I love you very much. I want to have kids with you someday.

GOD, PLEASE NO. NO, NO, NO.

GUYS, you're five months in like I'm also somebody that Jeez, man. Dude, not even 5 months in at this point, bro. And also, what road bumps at this point a few months in?

A lot of shit I won't go into a lot of it.

No, why don't you go into a lot of it because you know,

hey, remember when you're on a show to talk about things? Maybe you should talk about things.

You ain't give me a no no.

There was

Where's the no?

I have the nos. I'm avoiding the nos. Tell me the things aren't that aren't the nos.

I'll just give you a brief summary, but I'm not going to be very specific on what happened that night. There was one night we went to a bar. I said something. I was very drunk, mind you. And I said something that was very a lot to take in. I am not going to disclose what was said that night. Just understand it was really big bomb. Just you don't just set it out there. I wasn't I wasn't Yeah, just go with it. I wasn't thinking. I mean, I know what it is and you didn't put it on the no list for me. It said you have a criminal past. criminal,

right?

No,

I'm not I'm not gonna disclose what the thing was. I'm not disclosing whatever it was.

However,

I mean, I You didn't tell me not to talk about it.

It was a lot for her to take in.

It's the criminal record.

Whatever. So, we're about to go to bed.

Hopefully, it's not I mean, I would have trust issues with someone with a criminal record. I'll be honest. I I personally would.

We went to bed. I got up and I left the house. I was gone. I went to some fancy bar in Seattle and I spent like I don't know like shit $100 on drinks and food and I didn't come back until like four in the morning. But I can't believe he brought his dad home though.

It was a lot.

I know, but like I don't see why you need to like

Did you tell the person you're with

that shit

I didn't want to disclose it that fast and I wasn't think

Oh, you guys are moving quick on everything else. I think if you guys are moving that quick, you got to bump everything else up with it. selfie boother. Go with that one on the chin. Fair enough. Bad setting. Take that chin on the little TV prompt.

And I was drunk. I wasn't thinking about it. And I

It must have been pretty egregious for her to walk out that night.

Well, I was trying to just talk about it later, but she was like, "No, what is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? You can tell me. It's fine. We're safe. I love you."

You wanted to go to bed. I couldn't go to bed.

I I had to leave.

What' you do?

I'm not just

It's that bad.

I'm not disclosing it on here. It must have been that bad for you. I'm not disclosing it. I hear I already heard that part. That's why I'm not going to ask again. But oh my goodness, if you're not willing to talk about it and she left that night, that has to be pretty egregious.

That's all I'm thinking, which honestly would make me nervous, too. That's probably also why you can't find a decent job.

No, I'm not a felon.

I have a pretty clean record. Yeah,

you're not a felon, then what? I don't Well, again, I'm not going to ask again. I'm not going to push your boundary if that's a boundary, which I'm picking up that it is. I don't know why you didn't tell me not to bring that up before, but um

I thought I did. So, my bad.

You didn't,

but okay, that's fine. Be more prepared next time. There won't be a next time, but be more prepared next time.

Um Okay. Yeah. I mean, so I would have trust issues, too. And now, I mean, I I I I'll be completely honest. I have trust issues. I mean, I caught you in the little lies. Felt like you were big lying to me earlier, and now there's this thing that you're being hyper vague about. And I'm just going to let you know based on a few episodes in the past. I'm not going to pressure you to tell me. You do not have to tell me. I'm very okay with you not to tell me.

Appreciate that. Thank you.

Of course. But I am going to let you know based on previous episodes, the vagueness makes it look worse than it likely is.

I'd rather take that on the chin.

Okay. I'll let you take it on the chin.

Yeah.

Um but

I'm going to have a hard time trusting you and I don't blame her for having that issue. And again, that is what scares me. Finances are one of the large re leading causes for divorce in this country. And if right now there's this big boiling pot of lack of trust, but it doesn't matter as much because everything is so good, everything is so honeymoon, everything is so exciting, what happens when that just becomes normal and all that's left is a steaming pile of lack of trust. That's nerous for me personally, especially if we're about to intertwine our finances so quick. I don't know. Are you okay?

I don't know. Yeah. No, I just

don't do No, I'm just wrong with that.

Don't do to me whatever you did to someone. I I actually don't even know. So, I like that was a joke. I I don't know what you did, right?

But, um, listen, I I don't know. I mean, Aaron specifically avoids that you've lied or you've admitted that you've lied during money conversations with Stacy because you want to avoid the conflict. That's what you told Colton. That's what you told Colton. You You lie in conversations and you're admitting to that. How the hell is there a future here? I know he just worshiped you and that's some easy dick. Like very very good. And you were able to get free housing out of it. Very good. Out of a divorce. Like come on. I'm starting to connect some dots in my head. But why the hell are you dealing with this?

He does everything my ex-husband doesn't. He uh cleans the house overseas. He goes grocery shopping with me.

Okay. I don't think they can do that when they're overseas. doesn't he was only gone for 3 months at a time but when he was home I did everything he actually is a contributing member to the household and it's really

contributing lies and deception and

well at least it doesn't feel like I'm taking care of

it was like twoing times that I had a big I had told two big lies about

within a few months is pretty brutal actually that's actually a pretty bad track record that's pretty bad that's not good uh not good there Mr. Aaron, what did he lie about?

What do I lie about?

What did he lie about?

Well,

what was the old roommate thing?

The old roommate thing.

Oh, yeah. That one's

And then

the fact that you lied about it is a bad thing. Not that you were doing it. I mean, I wouldn't advise you doing it, but the lying I don't understand. It was a pointless lie, which is even worse than a lie that like you could have some reasoning for. It makes it even worse. And what's the other lie?

I don't actually may have mistaken overlap.

Was there

I don't think you've lied about anything. I don't know. You were telling Colton that you've specifically lied to avoid confrontation in the financial conversations with the household.

I think I was mostly just referencing the old roommate thing cuz it I mean it was a very

Was there anything else?

It Well, it was a broad No, there's nothing else. I mean

Okay, just checking.

I I it was a very broad question to me in general. So, I just

Yeah, I had replied

Okay, so what are we doing, guys? So, what, what, what the hell is even going on today? 'Cause, uh, let's just be honest. We can all, we can all see it from here. This is a mess. This is a mess this early on in the relationship. I don't know what you guys are doing. I don't think you know what you guys are doing. You guys are having fun, which is fair. Which is fair. Have fun. But does everything else have to move as quick with it? I don't think so. This is a mess, guys. This relationship's a mess. What is going on?

I've always wanted her. I'm not gonna...

I know. You know, you already know. But it's exciting to get with your high school crushes. Does that mean that that's who our spouse is for life? I don't know. And also, why would you even start the relationship out of a lie? Like, the overlap and these other things. It's like, it doesn't make any sense.

We had went to Christmas at her parents, you know, was what was it? Was it last year?

Yeah.

She basically expressed concern about the whole roommate money thing. And I told her my thing on it. Like...

That was like, like a couple weeks into the even after the diddlin' at the funeral. Okay. Interesting.

Yeah.

Why would you be so concerned about it at that point? Like, that's invasive and intrusive.

Because I was paying for everything at that point, and it just doesn't seem fair. He didn't have the money to like, pay for things, you know? And if someone else is getting it that you're not even like living with, then I, I just, it's not fair. So, that confrontation does speak words. But for what it's worth, with how you started the relationship, with how you've done it, with your trust issues, you know, one of the easiest ways to tell someone does something bad or thinks something bad is what they accuse the other person without any proof. And you accused her of cheating. You had to go through all her Instagram messages, all her text messages, all that shit. Why would you accuse her of that? It's not just unless there's like actually something that was seen. Not a very normal thing to accuse.

There was a specific, what was it? It was, um, she had went to a restaurant with her ex to talk about stuff.

Yeah, she's getting a divorce.

Yeah. Let me, let me just elaborate a little more. I'll make it a quicker summary.

It's okay.

You know, she was in a good mood before I had to go walk the dog. I walk the dog. I come back. She's pissed. So, I'm asking her what's going on. Ex-husband's being a dick, this and that, blah, blah, blah. And at some point, you know, I'm just like, "Can I just see like the messages for more context? Like, I feel like you're really not giving me enough to go off of." So, I start reading it. She kind of starts shying away her phone like, "No, let me see the text." And there was essentially some like affection, intimacy that was shared. It wasn't...

There's not affection and intimacy. I mean...

Okay, but you kissed him after the dinner. Like, that's kind of weird to me. Like, there's no affection or intimacy.

He scared you that much. Why are you going to let him do that?

What am I?

You say no. You're a woman in 2020. In 2026.

There was no intimacy. Nothing happened. There was no flirting.

So, you're telling me if he was here right now and he tried to steal another kiss from you, you're going to let that shit happen?

No, I'm not going to let that happen. He's gross.

So, why did you? Why did that happen in the first place?

Why did you kiss him? That's actually kind of crazy.

He's just, he, he just leaned in to kiss me and I just let it happen. I, I didn't know what to do.

You have no agency? What the hell is this? WHAT IS THIS?

HE'S LIKE 6'5".

OH, shut up. He's a little scared. What was he going to do? Take out an axe and slice you in the middle of a restaurant? But you had told me a completely different story about what went down that night. You said you had dinner with them at Red Robin's? You after dinner, you went to Half Price Books to calm down and you got your little sister's son a book. That is not what the...

I did get him a book.

Yeah, but then you also bought your ex-husband a book.

To be fair, I didn't buy him the book.

You both went to Half Price Books together.

By accident.

You guys went to Half Price Books together. You got him a book.

Oh, that's... Why are you guys going to Half Price? That's like a date activity.

Thank you.

That was like right across the street.

That's why I was so concerned.

That's like a date activity. If you were just straight up with me on that shit and I am a hypocrite.

I'm a hypocrite at this point because I lied to you about the rent shit. Hold on.

Okay.

The thing is, you could have told me very straightforward like, "Hey, this is what happened. Something was a little exchanged, went to Half Price Books, and then we left." I still would have been very upset. But then you decided as soon as I...

As soon as I called you out on it.

As soon as I called you out on it, you started freaking the hell out like I was going to hit you.

How you going to react?

I had to give you space.

A lot. I've been through a lot.

Are you angrier? One thing you don't know is that, uh, yeah, she has like fully just gone out and sent her ex flowers while you guys are together. Why?

You want to elaborate on that shit?

I don't know why. I mean, don't hit her. I agree with that. I'm going to hit her. I don't hit women. That's fucked up. I don't know. That was her fear.

Okay, fair enough.

If I loved him, I would send him the boat title with my signature on it.

Do you realize how that sounds?

Why would he be texting you after you guys are going through divorce and you're with him? If you loved me...

If he loved me, you'd send me the boat title. Why would he even have that language?

I don't know why he would have that language. And so instead, I, I sent him flowers and he was not pleased about it. I thought it was kind of funny. He didn't get, he didn't get the boat title.

Okay, hold on. Let me, let me try to...

He was...

get in your mind real quick. So, cards on the table. Was this like a dominance thing with him or was there still a little bit of like a dominance thing? It's like when I bought him a Starbucks when we were exchanging...

Dominance like you kissing him?

No, I didn't kiss him. I didn't kiss him. I didn't kiss him.

That's not what that text said.

I didn't kiss him.

What did the text say? Wait, what did the text say?

I can't, I can't remember even referring to...

I can't really remember at this point 'cause it was long ago. That was a long night, by the way. But it was something you guys, you've been together 5 months. How long ago?

It was something along the lines of like, "You're switching up how you feel now. We exchanged a kiss. Like, why are you so backpedaling on what you said?"

You exchanged a kiss. That's goal-pushing 'cause you were saying he kissed you on the nose. That's not exchanging a kiss.

We did not kiss on the lip. That didn't happen.

Show me the text.

I, I don't have the texts.

Why?

I delete them or else I keep looking back at them. I get anxious.

Why would you keep looking back at that text with your ex?

I have no self-control.

What are you self-controlling from?

It makes me anxious. That's why I haven't blocked on everything. I don't want to go back and look at...

Having self-control from.

Yeah.

Looking back. What would you be having self-control? SELF-CONTROL DOING WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW. Just It's just hard. What is you're saying? Nothing. I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app available on every major platform. You'll get three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Saturday. And to celebrate the app launch, I'm offering 30% off the annual plan in the month of June only. Plus, I have an exclusive offer just for you, but it's limited to the first 1,000 people to purchase. For a one-time payment of $500, you'll get our entire Hammer Elite catalog for life and a limited edition Hammer for Life box packed with limited edition merch you can't get anywhere else. Plus, you'll get access to our exclusive 4-hour Hammer Elite Day live stream on June 27th. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pin comment below. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that's a promise. You can get $200 in bonus cash right now. Listen up. If you want your savings to actually earn something, I got something for you. The average savings accounts right now are paying around 0.39% APY. So, if you've got $5,000 saved, you're earning like $20 a year. And it feels like an insult because that's about nine times lower than what you could be earning. With Chime's high-yield savings account, you can earn 3.75% APY. That same $5,000, that's about $188 a year. $168 more for letting it sit in a better spot. That is a new pair of headphones. That's a weekend getaway. That is real money, not a joke. I tell people all the time, your emergency fund should not just be sitting there doing nothing. Mine's in a high-yield savings account because I want it growing, but still accessible. No lockups, no hoops, no nonsense. It takes just a few minutes to sign up. There's no monthly fees and no minimum balance, which means you get to keep your money. Revolutionary concept, isn't it? And they make saving stupid easy with their automation features. You can set goals like an emergency fund or a vacation, round up purchases automatically, or send part of your paycheck straight into savings. Go to that link or click the link in the description below or scan the QR code on screen to start earning 3.75% APY. Don't put this off. Sign up today and actually make your money work for you. Let's get back to the show. It's like you're in the hot seat, Stacy.

He tried to specifically turn off the vanish mode auto-delete stuff on your phone and you wouldn't let him.

Well, why are you turning on auto-delete? You think you'd...

'Cause he can't trust you after you exchanged a kiss with a guy and now saying it was on your nose. Phone, then it just, it gets deleted. What's the point of that if you can't go in and look at things later? Why are you turning auto-delete on my phone?

No, he, he tried to turn it off.

Yeah, auto-delete off.

It was already... It wasn't on.

Wait.

I saw you.

Are you talking about the disappearing messages shit? That shit was literally on.

It was not on. I saw you grab my phone and turn it on and then be like, "Look, it's on. It was already on. I turned it off."

I have no clue how to turn that on on Instagram.

I get it. I love a good disappearing goon message when I'm in the goon zone.

You can look at your makeup...

Because people like to do crazy things with influencers. So, I don't want to with that shit.

You go that shit crazy stuff.

But you guys are together. And let me be very clear.

No open.

No.

Well, go then. I would be very, very sketched out if I looked over and the girl I'm with is having vanish mode conversations with her ex. You turned it on.

I will say, to be fair, the only... 'Cause I know the guy. The only thing they actually talk about, they don't even talk. They just send memes.

Why'd they kiss?

No, that's a different person. Different person.

Oh, wait. What the hell? Who was that?

What were you referencing?

Well, I'm talking about... You're probably talking roommate. No, I didn't kiss anybody. He's confused.

No, you did. Who did you exchange a kiss with?

Nobody.

The, the ex-husband.

Yeah.

That... Okay, but there's no vanish mode with the...

Ex-husband. I see the cross-connection. Okay, so we were talking about the whole Red Robin situation, right?

And then she jumped. I'm going to assume you jumped to where you were talking about the disappearing messages on Instagram, right?

Yeah.

Okay. So, there was a jump in the conversation. Okay. So, that's where we got mixed up.

Is it not a red flag though, Stacy, that uh Aaron's friends warned you to... Oh, wait. Sorry. Sorry. Actually, reverse. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. One of your friends told you warned you about her before you guys got together.

She's a... But is that not a red flag a little? And then...

That's not a red flag.

And then you kissing your ex. Come on.

There is a whole situ... hated me or she's hated me since high school.

Situation with them in high school. And at the end of the day, to an extent, I sided with that friend. However...

She's nuts. She wanted my other friend to pay for prom. The whole thing. I don't know.

Is it ever a small town?

No. No. Well, at this time, we were going to all so obsessed with prom in high school still.

It's going to prom. I thought that shit was dumb as hell. Anyho...

Great. Yeah, you're right. I... Her...

Dude, you were a loser. You didn't have prom.

Yeah. No shit. I was also poor.

That was it.

She was able to tell me her side of the story, which lined up pretty well with what I was told on that friend's side. So I was like, "Okay, I can."

She's hated me since the beginning. She hated my twin sister, too.

Because, mind you, you guys started with basically cheating from both sides. Like you kissing your ex and you with the overlap. It's like, what the hell? We're jealous 'cause she wants to...

This relationship has no foundation.

That's what it is. No.

Is that what it is?

I think she wants to you really bad.

There is a point where I knew she was into me, but I, it wasn't, I was not reciprocative of that.

No way. That's weird. Yeah, I wasn't really...

Who would be the fourth?

My girlfriend at the time. Not the 40-year-old, but...

Who would be the third then?

Uh...

Her and her husband.

Yeah.

Oh.

Yeah. We all banged in the same room. I wasn't really into it afterwards. And we... No swapping. There wasn't any swapping. It wasn't like that. Just kind of...

Happened that night and shit. No, I wasn't really into it afterwards. I felt very gross. And then...

I would too, probably.

Yeah. No, it was bad.

You wanted so bad.

But they, see, here's the thing. They kept with me on the subject like, "Oh, we're going to ban your girlfriend. Like, it's going to happen again." I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. If she warned you about her, why would she do that?

I assume she still has some resid... a lot of residual...

Or because you guys both started this relationship on borderline cheating on both sides. Come on. Crazy. What we learn at this point is coming to like, you know, save him.

I don't care. There's no foundation to this relationship. I don't even understand the point, guys. Once you guys get slightly out of the excitement, this relationship's done. I mean, come on. It totally is. There's no longevity here. And if there is, it's going to be misery eventually.

I like to think my passion will overpower all that shit.

My past was 5 months ago.

No, no, no. Passion.

Passion.

Passion. Jesus Christ. Read a goddamn book.

Read a book.

What do you? How do you? You don't learn that.

Passion will overpower all the short-term shit.

You were saying like passion.

Well, that's the thing. That's what I'm specifically saying is that this passion, this fiery moment, the honeymoon phase will end and then nothing's left. That started with cheating, trust issues along the way. Nothing's there.

I want to make this...

Free housing and free money.

That's all there is.

I don't want her money, though.

Uh-huh.

No. If I really wanted her money, I would ask her all the time to pay off my car. I would always ask her to buy me booze. I don't, I'm not going to do that.

Why booze? How do you guys drink a lot?

Uh, and a little above average, but, you know, who's counting?

Well, this relationship's going to go down in flames.

Yeah, we're also blue collar. So, I mean...

What?

That's a terrible excuse.

I come from a brown collar family.

Oh my god.

What?

Everyone drinks. Every, a lot of, most blue collar people.

The ages you guys are for drinking has fallen off the cliff dramatically.

Wait, really?

Yes. Really?

Yeah. I think...

Gen Z adults. Yes.

Really? I just smoke more.

I'm sorry. Just because you're an alcoholic doesn't mean everyone else around you is. Just because you're a cheater doesn't mean everyone else around you is. Just because you're a liar doesn't mean everyone else around you is.

That's not how this world works.

Yeah. All right.

Read a book.

Read a book.

A good one.

Yeah.

Okay. What do we think, uh, combined financial score is? I mean, I don't advise combining, but if that's your guys' entire goal, sure, I'll meet you there. But am I doing separate budget or budget together? What are we trying to do, guys? Where, where am I going from from here?

Actually asking, are you willing to do both just to see where we're kind of at or would you...

Separately or together?

I, I mean, both separately and then we do the together budget.

I want, I want us to eventually come together. I mean, we don't split.

Well, maybe it should be together.

Okay. What do we think our household financial score is together then? 0 to 10.

I actually meant to take that test before this, but...

What do you think it is?

Yeah, that didn't happen.

Two.

I was going to say two. 1.5. That test is at calebhammer.com. Get your Hammer financial score for free. See where you stand in the world of money, where you're doing poorly, where you're doing great, what you have to do to get from that poorly to great. And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up in the show, make sure you download the Downwise budgeting app. It is what they will use after this, what they get for free forever, and what you should get the free trial. See if you like it. And if you do, sign up for the annual version. It'll save a lot of money. And when you do, I will personally sign my detailed 30-day meal plan that goes into detail every meal, every drink, every snack you make for every day of the month for meal prepping. Stick it to a budget. This thing is incredible. It has saved people a lot of money. I'll sign it and mail it directly to you. Dollarise.com link below or just download the app. Be very pretty. What are you doing after this, dude?

Yeah, you're rough, man.

Aaron.

What? Trying to read the book? This freak was obsessed with you during high school. Why the hell did you go back?

Yeah, I'm kind of surprised about that, too.

He's my best friend. He was my best friend in high school.

Tell you what, I'm really lucky for this one.

This is good shit.

Sorry, you guys go do your thing.

Dude, I do not... Whoa. What is this personality call? I've met a few people like this douchebag. It's like the worst. No, it's not douchebag. You're not a douchebag. You're like, dude, you're there's something wrong with you.

Appreciate it. And you're like putting on like a your life is a performance. It's so weird. What is this?

Yes.

What is this? Brandon Lindsay.

Oh, shit. Hey guys.

We all know things like this.

Obnoxious. Oh, a performative like cringe lord. Redditor. Redditor. Oh yeah.

Oh, shit. You a bard?

You a bard, bro?

You're doing it still.

Yeah, he doesn't know. It's... It's all...

No one knows.

Did you make this yourself? I've never like, I mean, I can I guess I can be kind of like a verbal bully. I've never wanted to be a physical bully, but I kind of want to kick your ass right now. Now, I don't think I'd necessarily be able to, but I really feel the there's I think some natural evolutionary instinct to like you like to...

Like harm you.

Do you like Caleb Smash? You feel like doing the whole... I am nowhere near a cool individual, but you are just what you are, man. It's just you are Reddit born. Please tell us what a bard is. Everyone is typing in the document curious 'cause no one knows what this is. I honestly, I don't know what that means.

I don't know what that just making shit up.

No, that's an actual term on Reddit. I don't...

You are a Redditor. Oh, we're camping. No.

With these gauges and everything. We knew it.

I'm not an actual Redditor. If anything, I'll look...

You're an elder millennial Redditor.

No, no, no, no. I will look shit up.

So, I'm playing Dark Souls. I'll look shit up on like, where's this boss? This and that. Reddit always has the answers. You have one problem currently that someone had 10 years ago, there was always an answer on that specific goddamn problem.

What's a bard?

I don't know. I got it from...

What did they have the answer for that?

They could.

Why don't you look it up real quick? You got the little fancy uh...

The BTard frequent of 4chan's notorious random image board.

You think that's what Brandon is?

Is it 4? SHE YES, IT IS. Let's go into the first one. Should we look at your Reddit history?

No.

It's hot in here. Can I uh...

Can I go make a call?

Stop.

It's very hot.

Is it a joke?

It's very hot.

Just doing like elder millennial performance. Cringe Lord Predator.

It's very hot right now.

And you like this. And you, you get this gets you wet. This is like that's impressive. My days apparent your biological. This is... It's very... He is Elder Millennial Cringe Lord. Everyone look at the shirt.

What? Oh, yeah. I just thought I'd, you know...

Dude.

Oh. Oh, thank you so much. I appreciate...

Oh, there's a ponytail. I never even saw that.

A ponytail.

No, it's braided.

I braided his hair before we came on this.

Bro. Oh my god.

You got long hair. You know, sometimes if I want to make it easier for her when she pulls my hair, you know. Listen, I, I'm okay saying that I, I won't get canceled saying this 'cause you're a white man, but we need to put people like you in a camp. This shit is... Dude, we need...

Wait, is it for concentration?

Yeah. Kill me now. Any...

That's what I was advocating for in Minecraft. So, whose card is this? This Venture One.

Mine.

Okay.

He doesn't have any one that makes money. What the hell is wrong with you? It's red, which means what is it? What does he mean? There's fees being... What the hell is wrong with you, Stacy? What the possible is wrong with you?

I, I didn't have a debit card for a little bit when I, when I left the house. I didn't have a debit card. Yeah.

Why?

I took, I just time. What do you? Huh?

I, I didn't... Apple Pay.

I, I didn't have, I don't have Apple Pay.

Apple use Apple Pay.

What?

Apple.

Okay.

Isn't that? Isn't that...

Yes. You're an Android user. We know who you are.

I use Reddit. I just use it for the answers. Jesus.

Me look at your history.

I can't log in.

What?

Damn. Yeah. Crazy shit. Actually, you know...

You're so cooked right now.

Crazy as shit. You know, they actually like just deleted the app. It's the whole thing.

Anyways, what happened was I just quickly left the house. I took half the money out of the bank account and then I didn't open a bank account.

I was thinking, I hate him. He, he's the worst. I get that a lot.

He's the worst human I've ever met. I've said that a few times, but you are still beat.

No, you're the worst.

Top five.

Number one.

When I say the worst, it means the worst.

Yes.

So, yes. What's happening with Stacy, girl?

I, I took all the money or pause again. I'm sorry. I did ask you and then I interrupted you immediately. Okay.

Stacy. As a girl, I, I must advocate for you.

Save your girls. This, this is when you don't talk. The, listen, it's fun right now. This cannot be the guy you're with. I don't, I don't, I don't ever say this in like actual reality, but I'm saying this in reality right now. This is not the guy to be with. It's fun. He was high school. You're a part of friend groups. You probably, you got some good things in common. Congratulations. You got one that cleans. Wonderful. You can get a lot of those. Sounds like you had a shitty ex. No, just because the ex was shitty, don't settle with this blue sky dreaditor freak cringe lord. Melina, please. Please, you can do so much better. Stacy, you can do so much better. You, you can go get a solid five out of 10. That's going to be so much better than this guy.

You have no idea.

Shit. Am I a six?

I feel like he's... No one's going to be as funny as him.

I knew it was coming. I knew I was going to say if you said it, you'd come. I knew you were going to go there. You are the most predictable, pathetic mother.

That ain't coming.

Stacy, please.

Please leave this man.

Stacy, there is a gorgeous man named Mark right behind you that is 10 times better. 10 times better than this pathetic individual. Very hot, by the way, I will say.

Oh my god.

Put a crush on everybody in here.

You got to pop a blood vessel.

Mark, you got Lindsay.

No, no, no.

You're my biggest crush near you.

Is it that good? Is the dick that good? It has to be. There is nothing else that makes sense.

I'm not angry about it.

That has to be it.

I'm not mad.

At that shit crazy style.

Dude.

5 months you're going to be 15 months in.

Dude, you might be the first guest on the show that kills herself. Oh my god.

I don't want you to. You need to leave this.

Now she'll kill me before she does herself. I mean, that's just mandatory shit.

I don't want to look at him. Like I've never had to struggle. I can't. I'm sure I have.

He's cute. I think he's cute.

It's, it's not, it's not a matter of looks, dude. It's just, it's personality. It's the worst personality I think I've been around. Um, leave him. Okay. So, what, what's happened with this? Listen, no matter how bad you are, I will actually just permanently feel bad for you because you're with him. So, I won't even yell at you for this. What's going on?

So, just to kind of like restart my story, I, I left the house before my husband got home. So, leave the house permanently...

Very soon.

I took half the money out of our bank account and for a little bit, I didn't have a debit card because I was just kind of like fight or flight, like get out of there.

You need to fight or flight get the hell out of this relationship.

Fight and flight from everything. But, um, yeah, for what's about a month, I'd say maybe like three weeks, I didn't have a debit card. So, like, I, you know, I put, I paid a lot of stuff with cash. I put a lot of stuff on the credit card. I needed stuff for the apartment because we really didn't have much furniture. Oh, well, we got all of our old stuff, but, you know, we need like a couch and like kitchen stuff, so I just put everything on the credit card.

Do you still want to do that boneless couch shit?

I don't think now is the time to talk about a boneless couch.

Yeah, fair enough. It's fair. It's fair.

Um, but yeah. Or is, or is that one the one I put my lawyer fees on? I think that's what Capital...

I don't know. I don't know. How would I know? I'm not the guy who spent shit on this. I don't see, I don't see your entire purchase history of your life. I see the last month. And what does last month say? It says past due. Why are you past due?

I don't think it was past due.

Okay, you were past due. Stacy, are you? Were past due? If it says past due, it means past due. Past due is past. It's right there. That it's late. You...

Not maybe not credit statement late, but it is past due.

I didn't, I didn't think about it at the time. I was going through, what were you going through? Going through a lot. You were with him. You're going through a lot daily. I get it. I understand.

Take that one.

Well, in the very beginning, I was sleeping on the floor of the apartment and you weren't moved in yet. That was pretty hard.

Air mattress.

Pretty sad.

Air mattress. Not any better. Uh, yeah, I'll take that one on the...

And at that time, I didn't work for like a month. I took a break. I was going through a lot. I needed a break.

Are you getting madder and madder?

No, I'm not getting. I, I'm just honestly, I'm shutting down. I'm shutting down, man. You're just...

You want? I just need you to stop talking. I would like to continue with her. This is like, oh my goodness.

You want to kiss a little?

You've been late two months this year.

Yeah.

WHY?

I...

Two months this year as of a couple months ago, meaning it's probably been worse at this point. Stacey, what the hell are you doing? Is this why you're actually with him? Because you wouldn't be able to survive on your own? 'Cause you're right. I don't think you'd be able to. Not if you're behind on credit cards. If that's actually the reason, tell me afterwards when he's not here and we can rescue you 'cause you need to get the hell away from this loser. Do not have kids with him. If this is the reason, I understand it. That is a valid reason to feel that way. Feel...

I, I can't, I can't give you a good reason why I was past due.

This is the reason you won't leave.

Stacy, is it? Please? No, you can tell me afterwards. I get it. I get it. I wouldn't say it on camera either. Tell me afterwards and we'll get you a hotel for a month or something, dude. We'll get you out of this. We got to get you out of this.

We got to get you out of this, man. Discover it. What's going on?

My Discover card is the one I put.

I'm sorry. No, I didn't even say the balance for the last one. So distracted by this creature.

Okay. Uh, okay. Venture One. You owe $9,518.33. Yeah. And you're behind a couple months. It's probably like a normally like $250 payment, I'm going to say. But of course, you're behind. You're getting fees added. Interest is accruing. It takes 26 years to pay off. If you're still with him at that point, you will have lived the worst life.

I need you can have a better life. It must be hard because you guys have a shared friend group, right?

Yeah.

Shit. So, you can't, you can't because if you leave and then the finances are harder and that shit then a shit...

Oh, and then the friend group. Oh, what have you done to yourself?

You didn't have to do this. You should not have mixed. You should not have mixed fun and friends. It's a mess. It all explodes in the end.

Well, to be fair, I don't talk to a lot of the people, honestly.

Good. So, it doesn't matter. Please go on.

I kind of hate everybody. I'm fine.

This is true.

Surprised you don't hate me. I mean, Jesus Christ.

You let me come out of the show wearing a shirt that says pee pee poo poo poo poo pee pee poo poo. I mean, me, man. Like, this is bad. I'm getting audible reactions from people behind you that are shaking their head. No, you are.

Nobody likes you. I'm so sorry to say this. This is so mean, but nobody likes you. That's too mean. No, no, no. That's like too mean. Honestly, it's really fair. Like...

No, no, no, no. Pause. Like, I call people and shit and all this stuff, but it's always cheeky and it's always, it's with fun. When, when I say nobody likes you, I mean it. And that's like, that, I, that feels too mean. That feels too mean. Like, I feel bad.

No, I feel... No, no, no. I feel bad. Let me feel bad. Shut up. You can't tell me how I feel. I feel bad.

Take it.

Okay, never mind.

What?

No, nothing.

What's up, honey? Can you join me for the second half of this? I just need, I need someone to bounce it out. I need just a normal guy. Oh...

You're like the embodiment of like, "Honey, I'm good." Should not...

Yes. Got to go through life with a good attitude or try to.

I'm technically a millennial by like a year and I'm okay with it. I have no problem with my generation or the generation below me, your generation. But I have a problem with you. You...

I love you, Papa Hammer.

Shit, dude. Brandon, I can't, I can't...

Let it flow.

What do? How do you actually feel about this? I have to know. You had to be just struggling right now.

I do feel a little tense. This is a little hard.

A little, a little.

Well, this guy is doing this. He's handling it well.

He's handling it well.

THIS IS WELL, JOKES.

I DON'T KNOW if I'm handling it well.

No, I'm... Starbucks is shit and a waste of money. And you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make Gamer Subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show, Fat and Fatter.

The number one ranked energy drink is Game.

Literally, the cherry flavor is insane.

Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it or 10% off your order at gamersubs.gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb. Stop bleeding out money making minimum payments across multiple high-interest accounts. Most Americans are spending hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars that could be going toward actually paying down debt instead of lining some bank's pockets. And look, if you're sitting on high-interest credit card debt, a car loan at 18%, or oh my goodness, a payday loan charging you triple-digit interest rates, you need to hear this. If you've already cut up the cards and built better financial habits, but you're still drowning in interest payments, barely making progress, this is for you. I have opened my very own marketplace, a personal loan marketplace that lets you get personalized offers from multiple lenders in one place. You can see if you pre-qualify in minutes, and it won't impact your credit score. But here's the deal, this isn't a magic bullet. If you refinance your debt, but keep swiping, you're just making the problem worse. You still need to fix the behavior that screwed you in the first place. But if you're serious about getting out of debt faster, you could potentially lower your monthly payment by securing a single payment at a much better rate. Check out the link in the description below to see your personalized offers or go to caleb.com. And remember, you still got to do the work. That's...

Well, what is he like normally? Please, just maybe you could sometimes we do guest translations. Translate for me what the hell I'm trying to say 'cause I don't even know what I'm trying to say. I'm, I'm shutting down here out of just millennial cringe. Please, please.

You have very pretty eyes.

I'm going to write down some numbers. Please do some things to translate for me.

You, sir.

Yes.

Are incredibly cringy.

That's fair.

You're coming across like a 4chan Redditor. Crossbreed.

Yes.

Not a compliment.

Good. How should he behave? Adult. Like a normal adult. You say, Caleb, you have a really good point there.

I will take that into heavy consideration.

Okay.

Are you tense enough? What advice would you give for him? 'Cause, uh, I mean, Brandon's a cool dude. He, you know...

Uh, he, he's also friends with his high school people, but, you know, they're, they're cool people. Uh, it's, they're probably everything you wish you were. I'll be honest. What advice would you give for this man so that he could act just like a normal person?

'Cause he, shit, needs it.

What I recommend.

All right.

Is you try to do something cool after high school.

So that you don't have to keep referencing high school.

Elaborate.

Like, okay, like you commit crime and then...

Right.

Work for the maintenance.

Mhm. But if you didn't do that, you could do something really, really, really cool and level up and then you could impress her as opposed to embarrass the millions.

You know what? Honest answer. You make a very good point.

Then why do you keep behaving this way?

I ain't going to lie, man. Show...

I'm pretty goddamn nervous. I'm about to piss my pants.

It's okay to be nervous. Everyone's nervous who comes on the show. That happens three to four times a week. Every upload you see is nervous people. People don't act like you.

Fair. And she says, "This is you doing well." She said, "He's doing well."

I think I'm doing well.

Okay.

Really appreciate that.

You're doing it again.

You do make a good point.

What is this?

What? WHAT WOULD YOU CALL THAT? We keep calling it Reddit and maybe that's what it is, but like, what is that? Nobody...

At this point, it's Twitter. I mean, Jesus Christ.

I don't have a Twitter. I don't...

Okay, that's fine. You're saying he's doing well. What is he like normally? This is a personality audit real quick for the last 10 minutes.

I mean, he's usually like that. He's pretty... Yeah.

This is a normal occurrence.

I'd say it's pretty normal. It's pretty on brand for him.

Shit. Okay.

It's never boring. It's never boring.

I think we would prefer boring.

Boring.

I think boring. If that, if the alternative is boring...

That sounds kind of sick.

You know, how about, how about we do this? Can I throw a genuine suggestion out there? How about I do...

Genuinely 5 minutes of boredom and then we can see the difference? Does that sound good?

I don't know about boredom. I just want you to act normal. No. So...

Okay. So, 5 minutes of normalcy. How about that?

Normalcy would be great. Why don't you just act like a human? Yes. You don't have to be cringe Reddit 4 freak. Got it.

What in life? It's a personality audit. I'm just telling you to shit do again. I am not a perfect embedment of just like, I just saw a shirt. Oh, shit. Really? I'm just so proud of it. Did you see that? Oh my...

I tie-dyed it semi-recently.

Oh, he did his own tie-dye.

Oh, she helped me with that.

Do not neighbor.

I thought we had 5 minutes of normal.

I, I'm being genuine.

No, I know you're being genuine.

All right. You know what? 5 minutes of normalcy starts now.

Okay.

Y we'll start it now.

Sure. Why not?

Okay. Okay. Who's to Discover it? Who? Who is it?

Me.

Okay. What the hell is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? I get it. I'd be spending like crazy.

Amazon. Amazon. Yeah. That, that has all my Amazon purchases on it.

He has a gun, right?

He does. Yeah. I have one, too.

It is locked. It is back at home locked in a gun safe.

Does that say security pocket? Who has access to the safe?

Just me. And...

That's the problem. I... She... That's where I keep all my... That's not my concern. Yours is in your safe.

You have access to it.

My own safe. Yes.

Can we please make sure you have no access to any weapon that can be put in a mouth?

Okay.

In the future, because I don't know how long you're going to be on this earth.

I like to think that's a reasonable request.

Okay.

5 minutes of normalcy.

We, we made it. Now.

We made it 90 seconds.

We made it 90 seconds.

God damn it.

We should start a timer.

I can do that.

Should I do that? All right.

Amazon. Amazon. Amazon. Amazon. Google. Okay. Let's just show me your Amazon, dude. What the...

Hers?

Shut your dick. Are you the upgrade? Are you this guy? Is this you? Is this you?

Is this you?

No.

I think that's your, I think that's my CLA. Is that? Or...

Yeah, probably. Give me your Amazon.

Okay. Okay. Amazon. You just, you want me to take it to orders?

Yeah. Show me your Amazon. Amazon. Thank you. They are an Android household. I consult two things in the car. Let's see.

That means nothing to me.

It's cool.

Shut up. You have a girl shit thing. Okay, maybe you guys are made for each other. My goodness. I just, I don't understand. Why you want. Let's go back to your just your absolute dream.

Okay.

High school. Why did you want her so bad? What was like, what are you shit gooning? So, I'm going to give you a general or genuine answer. No shit.

Why would you shit me?

Because I've been me the whole time. So...

He's been me the whole time. So, be you.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm being me. So, I really was into her in high school because we shared a lot of general interest that I didn't...

really have in common with a lot of people. Uh, her knowledge on like retro gaming stuff was she was the one other person who could really go toe-to-toe with me on it. We agreed on a lot of philosophies and whatnot and I'd like to think we still have the same outlook on life.

>> What is that? I need to know. What are people like you even believing these days?

>> Uh just as is that a broad question or

>> outlook on life.

>> Okay. Um don't be a dick. I mean

>> kind of a dick but I have too. But that's my show. Continue. Um

>> also the cheating thing. Not great lying. Not good. Continue. You're breaking your policy. Continue. What's your outlook? That is pretty policy breaking. Um, I mean just in general like live your life how you want. We're not all here for a long time but a fun time. And

>> you guys have a very unique time. You're right. No one else believes those things. Don't be a dick and live life.

>> Okay. You would have never met anyone else who thought that. I don't know. Politics.

>> I don't like doing politics. It's just gets [ __ ] money.

>> Doing it. You don't have beliefs.

>> I don't sorry I don't like discussing politics in general. They get

>> We're not going to discuss to say what your beliefs are.

>> Perfect. Just what I believe.

>> What are your beliefs?

>> Uh core core core.

>> Okay. Core beliefs. Um I I think taxes are fair to a certain extent as long as they're not ridiculous. I want to keep my gun. Don't take away my land. That's all.

>> [ __ ] He's more libertarian, but he seems like

>> leftist millennial. I'm so confused.

>> Is that libertarian?

>> Yeah.

>> Oh. Oh, okay. Is that anti-government? Like, wait, you don't even know where your political beliefs. I I just consider myself independent. I don't like picking aing side, to be honest.

>> I think we're educated enough to have an opinion.

>> You know what? Keep that and don't vote. Yeah.

>> Okay. Okay. Yeah. You're buying a lot of kids things. You have a kid?

>> No, but it's for my nephew's birthday.

>> He just turned two.

>> I don't even care about this anymore.

>> He just turned two.

>> I'll be honest. A lot of houses.

>> That was quick. Yeah. Oh,

>> ticket master.

>> Ticket master.

>> Okay. Ticket master and sons of monsters and men.

>> No money. We had to see him.

>> That was so good.

>> That was a fun concert.

>> That was so fun. Oh my gosh. He killed it.

>> Reddit.

>> You should have seen his all.

>> You are right. I like him as a I think I like him as a dude. I don't know. We texted a couple times. He almost came on the show. Like I have nothing against it, but you guys are just Why are you the most stereotypical people ever? Like the whitest kids.

>> Okay.

>> You didn't say

>> Oh, fair enough.

>> Also, some of that is probably Everclear and

>> Oh, yeah.

>> I buy direct glasses. That's fine. Listen, that's not the issue. The issue is uh

>> Is that where you got these from?

>> Oh, that Yeah.

>> Yeah, the glasses. That's where she got from the glasses place.

>> Thank you.

>> Okay, $9389 is your minimum there. $250.73 is your payment plan.

>> It's very durable calculator. Shut up. Fair enough.

>> Thank you, Brandon. I appreciate you. And that's you you are you you are my translator here cuz that's exactly what I was thinking. That's that's exactly what I was thinking. You can also translate my desire to kick his ass if you ever feel like it. I I think that's pretty straightforward.

>> Yes. I would just like to see it happen.

>> Yes, sir.

>> I did not say that. I did not think that.

>> No, we you thought it.

>> Okay. A car, I think, is what I'm seeing here.

>> Yeah.

>> Of 20,000. It was a $20,000 car.

>> Oh, okay. So, it's my turn. Yes, it is a uh Toyota Camry SE. So, 2021.

>> Has it not been your turn this entire episode?

>> No. You've been speaking the entire time.

>> Yes.

>> You're [ __ ]

>> You're Toyota Camry. Yes.

>> How do you feel about the word?

>> I don't give a [ __ ] Words are words, man.

>> Yeah, he does. No. Okay. Okay.

>> You could call me the most up [ __ ] you really want. At the end of the day, I could really give a [ __ ] how you feel about me. What I care about.

>> You could give a [ __ ]

>> No, I I don't give a [ __ ] Oh, sorry. Um, I could not give a [ __ ] about how you really feel as long as you're just honest with it. You can call me the most up [ __ ] to my face and I'll shake your hand afterwards.

>> I'm not touching you.

>> Yeah, I don't blame you.

>> I washed my hands though after I pissed, so don't worry. So, you should blame me then

>> about Wait, what?

>> Why talk about washing my hands after you?

>> I mean, then, you know, why like wouldn't he want to shake your hand?

>> Yeah,

>> he doesn't have to shake my hand.

>> I Okay,

>> at the end of the day,

>> but I'll I'll go out and offer you a handshake.

>> No. No.

>> Well, there you go. See,

>> I love you.

>> So, yeah, about the car. Um, pretty much what happened with that is I got a

>> Why do you keep saying that you love me? Well, him

>> me.

>> But him. I desire touch.

>> Dude,

>> you don't have to be with him. You really don't. There are every apparently not a small town. Lots of other people you went to high school with if that's the requirement.

>> A lot of gross people there.

>> Example a

>> uh I'm from Snomish at that you. Yeah. Okay, I'll take that. So, yeah, I got the

>> What the did you just say?

>> I got the car.

>> No, what did you just say? That was a That wasn't English.

>> Yeah, it wasn't going to make sense. See, I'm from Snowomish. That's what you said. There is your transition.

>> A different town.

>> Yeah.

>> Like we care?

>> No.

>> Oh my dude.

>> So, should I go into the car or do you do you want Okay, cool. So, I had a highend day Elantra. It was 2016, couple years back. That got totaled. Wasn't my fault. Car was parked. Someone backed into it. Knocked it 10 ft.

>> Um, so the insurance policy I had cuz it was full coverage. Enterprise gave me a loner. It was the same car I have now. I love that car. great and reliable. Uh went to Enterprise then put a or I got it on a zero down loan because I didn't have the money at the time and still paying it off.

>> Why'd you have to say all that to say you got a zero down loan car?

>> I'm just lord dumping, man. I mean, what do you want me to

>> What it had nothing to do with anything? I don't need

>> to tell you about my current car. Now, do I have to tell you about my first car I got from my [ __ ] family? I would have asked how you got it to be fair.

>> IT WOULDN'T HAVE STARTED BACK WITH MY PREVIOUS CARS. I WOULD HAVE just said I went to the dealership and purchased.

>> Is this the part where you translate for him or shut up?

>> Thank you.

>> I don't think that car is worth it.

>> Yeah, it is. It's worth 19,000. You owe 19,800. So, what I would actually do is sell it and borrow $11,000. Get a $10,000 car. Use the one and pay it off.

>> Do you want a truck?

>> But honestly, I don't give a [ __ ] Can I? But I I don't care. For what it's worth, this actually sucks to feel. And I think I have felt it counted on one hand in the How many episodes have we uploaded?

>> Over 500.

>> Um, and I can count on one hands people that like, hey, you can do that, but if you don't, like I don't give a

>> I just don't care if it doesn't work. It's just like I care about you cuz you're a person.

>> Unfortunately, you're not.

>> Yeah.

>> So, it's just like, okay, you got it 88%. Sucks for you, man.

>> Yes.

>> Do something with it. I don't know. I

>> think I got it at 630 credit.

>> I don't care. Is that another story? I don't. Please don't tell me.

>> No, just comment.

>> When I ask your credit score, is it going to be what your first credit score ever was when you first saw it? Sorry, I'm being mean. Okay, I got to stop. Colton, I'm being mean. I'm sorry. Please, I'm being mean. Please, Lindsay, Ma, everyone, audience, I'm sorry. I'm trying to. You don't know if Go to go to like a a like I am a nerd. I'm a nerd. I like going to like the the board game places that you can like play things. I like that. That's fun. But just go to one. Find the most millennial looking individual, sit across from him for an extra for an hour, 30 minutes, which is what I've done right now, and you will you will understand the feeling that I'm having. played Yu-Gi-Oh.

>> Shot your face.

>> Who has Wells Fargo?

>> I have Wells Fargo.

>> Okay. You have a lot of money in there. 5,000. That's good. Well, [ __ ] Nope. Nope. Nope. That's savings. Well, which is that's good. Well, no, it's not. [ __ ] cuz it went down from 7,500.

>> You're taking out 2,000.

>> Yeah. To fix my car.

>> Okay, that is what savings is for. I can appreciate that. But checking went down from 2,400 to 546. And you're getting Mexican food. Steam purchase [ __ ] You're going to gas station getting some [ __ ] What are you going to the gas station getting some [ __ ]

>> Probably a Celsius.

>> Yeah, you are. Okay. Brandon was already looking. He knows what's coming. We all know what's coming.

>> Right on. Q.

>> They're good.

>> You don't deserve it. No. You know what? No. No. No. No. No flavor for them. Get Gamer Subs. It's 40 cents a serving after my discount code. You just ruined it. You were going to get a free tub which would be 40. Well, actually 0 cents deserving because it' be free. Get your free samples. Use my code Caleb. Link in the description below. It's better than energy drinks. Cough. You get nothing. Fair enough. I might sneak one to you afterwards. You get nothing. Oh,

>> I appreciate. Okay.

>> Blazing paddles.

>> Blazing paddles.

>> Blazing paddles. You can say it again, too, if you want.

>> Oh, blazing paddles. No, not you. You

>> I don't know what that is, honestly.

>> You spent $34 there.

>> I Yeah, I couldn't tell you.

>> Quiet now.

>> Shut up.

>> Who's

>> He's just making a dumb joke.

>> Inside joke. Oh, that's a great place to do it on a podcast with people you don't know in front of millions of people. You are a gem.

>> I thought so, too. Eh, depend depending on your views. How did you

>> still

>> Oh, my mom was on meth when she had me.

>> Oh,

>> yeah.

>> Yeah. Hey, see there you go.

>> Collective. Yeah. See, now it makes sense.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Ice was crazy in Hawaii.

>> Let's move on

>> to getting more [ __ ] and selling on money and getting more [ __ ] and high halfp price books. Oh, that's where you're going and making out with your ex. That's great. And go and get into [ __ ] Get some [ __ ] McDonald's. Get into [ __ ] Faux. Get into f razzles.

>> Good.

>> Razles for $128. Razles.

>> Razzles. Did we go to Razles?

>> What's Rzzles? I don't know what it is. What is Raz?

>> It's like Yeah.

>> Well, you spent a lot of money there.

>> That was the night we had our big fight.

>> Parking. Yeah. Uh, cookies, I think. Oh, that's where you confess to being a criminal, of which we will never know more about. And looks likely worse than it is. Hopefully, except with you, maybe not.

>> Maybe it is worse than it looks. Uh, Spencer's gifts. Fantastic.

>> [ __ ] Susy. Okay. [ __ ] [ __ ] Listen, you're spending a lot of money on I'm just It's just so much money. It's so stupid. I'm just I'm just kind of done. Like, I don't I don't care. I don't care. I don't like you guys. I mean, you're okay. I really don't like you. Fair statement.

>> Am I Can I Okay, I need a vote cuz I'm going to be actually mean for a second, but I need to vote whether or not I should actually be mean cuz I'm one of those people that doesn't have a filter, but I'm actually filtering myself right now, which is weird and I don't like it. So, I want permission. Uh, raise your hand if I should be very mean.

>> Uh, you have a vessel.

>> Two two out of three. Okay. [ __ ] Three out of three. Yeah, it was two out of five, then it became three out of five. Okay. So, I got the majority support to be mean. I just want to know what it feels like on the side because I just I would like to just know. Listen again. Um I'm all ears. Erin, if you could just confess you were surrounded by 1 2 3 4 5 6. How do you How does it feel to be surrounded by a room of people that legitimately look down on you and don't like you, which no other guest in this show has ever experienced? How does it feel to actually be hated by everyone in this room right now?

>> I don't really give a [ __ ]

>> Really?

>> Yeah. Everyone's got views, man. Like

>> this isn't views. This is just your personality that people have witnessed. And everyone's been sighing and moaning for an hour and 31 minutes and shaking their heads.

>> And I mean, no one in here, not even you obviously, has to like me. I don't care.

>> I'm just asking how it feels. Nothing. No. Are you sure you can't reflect on it?

>> And try to just like

>> I'll reflect on it later for sure. But like right now, just in the moment, I don't really care. If anything, I feel like I have to take a piss. But, you know,

>> I know we'll get there.

>> We'll get there. We'll we'll let you drain it. Thank you. Drain the main vein.

>> What are you going to say now? It's a floater. Are you going to say that next?

>> No, but that's a good one.

>> Oh,

>> not really. Um,

>> you said it.

>> Oh, okay.

>> I was asking if you're going to do that next. Is this Navy

>> locking in? Yes, that's mine.

>> Well, you're spending a lot of money on [ __ ] And honestly, keep doing that. I don't care. Cool.

>> Good luck. It's It's [ __ ] It's [ __ ] He'sing up his entire life. Do any of us give a [ __ ] I don't think so. It's [ __ ] It's [ __ ] It's [ __ ] It's [ __ ] Okay, Hammer Financial Score. Um, go take a piss and go off. And I cannot wait for the poster to be done so I never have to see you again. That's your Hammer Financial Score. Go yourself. Please go pee. That's That's actually a request.

>> Please never be in front of me

>> um ever again. Oh, he's tripping. He can't even stand

>> his ponytails out of the way. His ass crack.

>> Okay, we're actually going for a second. I know it was. This is pathetic. Please, please, please. Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay, can you please just come sit here for a second if you Colton, can you just come here for a little bit?

>> Yeah. Can you just go share this mic with me?

>> Fine. Thank you.

>> Please just sit down for a second. Maybe this is being Can you It is Can should she leave him?

>> How are you feeling? Yes, you should. But how are you feeling? But you know what's going to happen during the post show, right?

>> Oh.

>> Huh?

>> Yeah.

>> Wait. Oh,

>> what's

>> happening in the post show?

>> I don't.

>> I do.

>> Okay. But but before that, before that, ladies and gentlemen, I just need to know.

>> Should she leave him?

>> Listen, despite looking

>> too much information.

>> I know too much.

>> Despite looking like a beef finished on your chest, you have a lot of really redeeming qualities.

>> Tattoo.

>> Okay, guys. I'm talking about just for the sake of her.

>> Yes. Oh, in the post show.

>> Okay. Well, he's not here in the post show. She's going to

>> pop. What's happening?

>> Um,

>> should we say it?

>> Yeah.

>> Do you want

>> I was going to propose. I was going to get

>> So, this is this is the moment. This is the moment where we can this is the moment where we can stop an actual mistake from happening. Please, Lindsay, girl to girl.

>> Okay,

>> here's the thing. I

>> 5 months is too soon.

>> And also, please don't do it. was too soon.

>> With this man,

>> I I would give it some more time

>> with this man. I

>> I think you're caught up in the moment. Also, I understand that ending one relationship, getting into another relationship can feel healing. I I You need more time.

>> You're married.

>> Yeah. Still legally.

>> Legally. Well, I was I I was planning on like a long engagement.

>> I've met abusive partners that are better than this man. Here's the thing. Now I feel nervous.

>> What? Wait, are you going to do it?

>> Oh, I don't

>> I am heavily advocating for not being with this guy. He is the most cringe individual I've ever met and he's miserable to being around being around. I'm so happy he is taking a piss right now.

>> Now I feel like I need one. Oh my goodness.

>> Okay. Okay. Um, what's the saying? Cuz I think people are trying to be a little nice right now and that's okay. Just can we can read the room. Raise your hand if you think she should not be with him. And I'm going to close.

>> I I'm not raising my hand. I think you should wait.

>> Is it just It's just me and Brandon. Okay, that's split down the middle.

>> Well, I think Ma raised his hand, too. You're a part of this. You want to come over here?

>> No.

>> Okay. Um I think you should wait.

>> I think you should wait to propose.

>> I I personally He's not my flavor.

>> Mhm.

>> I think he's being so kind.

>> I'm being very kind. Uh I think he's obnoxious. Yes. But from a casting standpoint, I 100%

>> producers love people that I hate. So that's why they give away their hand.

>> Somebody that's going to yap on camera.

>> They have to be nice. They have to be nice.

>> No, I just I see things differently.

>> Yeah,

>> that's all. Um I just think it's too soon.

>> Well, ladies and gentlemen, will it happen? Will it not happen? You'll literally find out if you go and join Hammer Elite right now cuz

>> you got him a ring.

>> Yeah.

>> I'll see you there.

>> I'm stressed out right now. I don't know.

>> Why are you stressed?

>> Well, this is your moment.

>> Stacy, is he like this in real life? Does he feel the need to fill every bit of silence?

>> Is it all right if I take a second?

>> Yeah.

>> Okay.

>> Wa. What's up?

>> Oh, no. I just need a moment.

>> That's a really nice way of her saying yourself, dude.

>> You hold on to her with your dear life.

>> I think I should the Powerball every day when I

>> keep her because she is the only one that's going to feel that way. I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app available on every major platform. To celebrate the app launch, I'm offering 30% off the annual plan in the month of June only. Plus, I have an exclusive offer just for you. But I'll only have a,000 available to purchase. You'll get lifetime access to the entire Hammer Elite catalog and my Hammer for Life box packed with limited edition merch. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pin comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join in.