Before You Give Up, Watch This

You were made to rise, to take your pain and convert it to purpose. [Music] To take your struggle and transform it into meaning. In a world of concession, of self-sabotage and defeat, you were made to rise. And so it's critical that you look around where you are now and adjust your lens. It's critical that you see the present moment not as an ending, the culmination of wrong turns or broken plans, but as the beginning of what all that will be turned into—the start of the next chapter. [Music] A new road, because you were made to rise.

Life has an interesting way of not pushing us to be more until our backs are against the wall, until we've fallen or found ourselves where we don't belong. But it's down in the ashes that we're presented this blessing, that we're given the chance to be more than we've ever been. You weren't made to look around and call this diminished reality home. No, you were made to rise. Life is about decisions: what to accept and what to cut away. And it's in our moments of distress we must find our calm; when we feel low, that we must remember the heights we're capable of obtaining. Look, our greatest invitations, they often feel like defeat, like hopelessness. But see beyond that narrative. Look in the mirror and know that what looks back at you isn't the problem; it's the reason you'll succeed. Someday you'll see the present as the moment that made you. The days that shake you, just as a sculptor arrives at his masterpiece. So stand up, brush yourself off, and look up, because that is where you're going. Now is where it begins. You weren't made to accept what is. [Music] You were made to rise. [Music]

I came across a quote recently that said, "The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces." I thought this demonstrated, or captured, a realization that's pretty hard to articulate, and that is just how tempting it is to rationalize stopping or discontinuing your journey when life gets tough. How much sense it always makes to want to call it quits when things get uncomfortable. It's like it's not just that doing something valuable is hard; it's that it's hard, and every three feet there's an invitation to not have to do it anymore. There's an endless supply of exit signs and escape routes. Therefore, accomplishing a goal is simultaneously saying yes to the challenging things while also saying no to the comfortable things. It's fighting off two demons at once. The good news, though, is that you were made to do just that; you just have to change the way you internalize the process. You have to change what you see along the way.

I talk a lot about perfection as the enemy, and that's something I wholeheartedly believe to be true. But I generally talk about it in the context of perfection keeping us from starting, right? I try and unveil perfection as, uh, this defense mechanism that it truly is. [Music] Oh, things aren't perfect, I'll wait. Things aren't exactly where I want them to be, then I won't go. Emphasizing that it's in going that perfection is crafted, like a statue being chiseled from stone. You fall, you get back up, and find that in doing so you end up with a little more clarity than you had when you started. You let the trials and tribulations of the journey refine the product. And so that's the beginning, right? That's finding the courage to start, removing the idea of perfect when really it's just our fears masked. But what about when you've already started? What about when you're underway, when you're in the midst of those trials and tribulations? Because we all know this: when you're in pain, your body wants one thing—to remove yourself from the pain. When things are uncomfortable, your default is to seek out those aforementioned parking spaces, reprieve from the grasp of the unknown. Things aren't perfect, then I'm done here. Things feel awkward or uncomfortable or unclear, then why bother? What I want to do right now is make the argument that it's most important to continue forward when we're in these moments. It's most critical to move forward when the road is unclear and those tempting parking spaces start revealing themselves. Things are not perfect, maybe even far from perfect. This is right about the time when we forget why we started.

I've run into this in my past, right, particularly with injuries. There was a period in my not too distant past when my ankle and shoulder were simultaneously messed up, right? So couldn't run, couldn't really do any upper body work. My physical activity really took a dive, right? So I'm a little discouraged, and sure enough, I found the "eat whatever you want" parking space. It's like, who cares, you're not working out, what's the point? Just focus on the business, put a pause on all that stuff. And then eating whatever I wanted became, well, what's the point of getting up at five when I could just get up at seven? I sleep two hours longer, is how I rationalize it. It's not like I'm going to be running. [Music] And then there goes some very important alone time, thinking time. And you can see how easily the wheels sort of fall off the wagon, not because you're a bad person or don't want the result, but because the second thing stopped being perfect or working the way I wanted them to. I found a parking space. There will be few stretches of time in life when everything's perfect, things going exactly how you want them to. It will simply be the exception, not the rule. And then the question becomes, can you put your head down and continue forward, knowing that life will call for adaptation and adjustment, but that those tempting exit signs are not for you? They are weakness; they are for those who forget their strength and their courage.

I mentioned a little while ago that growth is fighting two demons: saying yes to the mountain ahead and no to the off-ramps. But when you step back and look at things differently, you change the dynamic; you put the odds in your favor. When the off-ramps become reminders of your strength as you pass them one by one, indicators of your commitment to move forward. And when the mountain ahead becomes merely the way—not some giant sacrifice or monster—but merely a path, things simplify in a way that empowers you on your mission. There is no perfect or imperfect; there is adjusting when necessary and taking the next little step along the way. And using the previous example, it's like, I'm injured, okay, this will definitely be a time for adjustment. Maybe it's yoga, stretching, practicing being more patient, maybe greater emphasis on meditation, mental strength—whatever it is—but we don't stop; we continue stepping forward. The next step will look a little different, but that's all. If perfect is a standard one seeking to maintain, they'll always be pulling over; they'll always be backing off, because very rarely do we have stretches of perfection. Life is an adjustment game, not a perfection game. Life asks, what can you do when your hands are tied behind your back? What can you do when you're tired? What can you do when you've just endured loss, when your pride hurts, your plans fail? And trust me, that's when you see all those off-ramps; that's when something in the back of your mind says, "Hey, all this goes away if you just throw in the towel, just go seek perfection somewhere else; you'll find it there." But you can chase that rabbit down a million paths. There is no perfection waiting for you, and there is no flawless pursuit. Life comes down to, what will you do now, where you are, with what you have? Can you find a way to win when it hurts?

Look, we all need to understand that life is innately difficult, and success calls for a simplification: that is adapting and stepping forward; that's all. Things are hard, you step; things don't go as you planned, you adapt, and you step, but you are always moving towards that north star, whatever it is for you. It's deeming those parking spaces insignificant with regard to your life and your journey. Quitting is not brought about by the external world. No, failure is a decision; failure is saying, "You know what, this costs more effort than I'm willing to pay." Those parking spaces have become more tempting than the top of this mountain. Failure is a choice. And so, for one to succeed, they must simply stay in motion, choose adaptation over a self-imposed end. Yeah, enjoy those moments of perfection, the times the stars do align, but see them as the exception, not the rule. We are not defined when things are great; we are defined by our ability to pick up the pieces and keep moving forward when they're not. Our lives are shaped by the exits we don't take, the parking spaces we don't even notice as we ascend the mountain that is life, because anything other than the road ahead was never an option. [Music] You didn't succeed because things were perfect; you succeeded because you found a way to win when they weren't.

The hard thing brought me through hell, but also to that which exists on the other side. The hard thing prompted me to question and doubt. [Music] But also provided the pieces I used to build my confidence, little by little. [Music] It made me ask the tough questions, the ones maybe I didn't want to hear the answer to, but also gave me the power to transform those answers I didn't like. The hard thing meant forfeiting being the expert in my world in exchange for the role of student in a foreign arena. Gave me new ladders to climb, new possibilities to reach for. It showed that true growth requires a willingness to be the beginner. It took some people out of my arms, my circle, my work, and in some cases my life altogether, but always seemed to open the door to those souls better aligned, those conducive to the journey and the process. Let's remember what the hard thing is beyond the pain, because we all know it does bring that; beyond the challenges, because there are certainly many; beyond all that exists, the hope and the change and the promise. Robert Frost says, "The best way out is always through." Through, because it's the chaos, the haze, the darkness of night that shapes us. It's in being broken that we learn to rebuild our world with the pieces, and perhaps most importantly, we learned that such a rebuilding process is possible to begin with; that the now is not mandatory or permanent. The hard thing, as it turns out, is nothing more than a transaction: turbulence for the view above the clouds, fear in the moment for confidence in the future. It's learning that although life sometimes appears to paint a picture of conformity and helplessness, there's always a path leading to the very place we need to go; it just asks we find the courage to walk it. Churchill has said, "The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity; the optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty." And this beautiful message rings true, because from the difficulty is the advantage. And sure, our first instinct is to see the problem; our eyes tend to initially fixate on that which is unfortunate, but beyond that is where we get the most incredible things life provides. It's as if one is removing the shell or outer layer in order to get to the nutrients in the center, the ingredients required for growth, the pieces necessary to experience life at its fullest. And so we must be reminded that those opportunities, they're not rare, they're not reserved for everyone but you; they just tend to disguise themselves as the things we're most inclined to disregard or walk by. But if one finds the courage to move into them, through them, if one can see the difficulty not as a deterrent but as a bargain, they'll be given everything on the other side. Reality is not changed with a magic wand or the granting of a wish; it's from staring down the hard thing and moving directly into it, one little step at a time. [Music]

I was having dinner not too long ago with a friend of mine—um, I see him as somewhat of a mentor as well; he's a bit older, a couple decades on me—as an entrepreneur. And we were talking about personal development, different ways to invest in yourself, what has the most ROI, kind of throwing ideas back and forth. And I started talking about different coaches I've linked up with, some of my observations on that, and he jumped right into this story. Says, "Eddie, way back in the day, I paid a huge amount of money to spend the weekend with someone that I admired as an entrepreneur, as a business mind, with the intent to learn about him, his systems, his approach to his business and life. The whole thing was basically an investment into my journey." And he went on to say, "I arrived for the weekend; didn't take me long to feel completely underwhelmed, completely let down. Everything about the guy and his organization was sloppy; nothing seemed to be methodical; very little was extraordinary or groundbreaking." He said, "I couldn't believe it, you know, especially after tens of thousands of dollars spent, right? He spent a lot of money; couldn't believe that someone, uh, he looked up to had so little to offer." And I'm sitting there just kind of like wide-eyed, like, "Oh, man," and almost instinctively I said, "Man, you must have been so angry." And he goes, in this cheerful voice, "I wasn't angry at all." This is a direct quote. He says, "It was the best money I've ever spent in my life." I said, "Oh, yeah, how?" He says, "It was that day I learned that, hey, if this clown can do it, if this guy can pull it off, what in the world is stopping me? What's my excuse?" Basically said that day has been directly correlated, uh, to the success he's had since. [Music] Wow, right? To, uh, to which I responded, "Hey, thank you for the theme to what will become this Monday's YouTube video," right? Because the world needs to hear this message; so many of us need this.

There's a tendency to put other people—people we don't know, people we know nothing about, right—on a pedestal and see ourselves as perpetual outsiders looking in. This notion that they have what I don't, when so often that thing they have is simply, even solely, self-belief. I know so many competent people that second-guess themselves out of starting or growth or progress. [Music] They see their inadequacies as substantially greater than their strengths. They don't go because they contemplate; they don't speak because they internalize; they don't create because they worry. And it's like, if you don't, someone else will. [Music] And that someone else could very easily be less suited for the job. [Music] But they did the thing that you wouldn't—the thing, as it turns out, that matters most: they trusted themselves to give it a shot. They understood that nothing starts until one looks in the mirror and believes in the pair of eyes staring back. [Music] And I look back and it just all makes perfect sense, you know? I think of the frustration in my parents' faces when I was a kid; I would say, "I can't do that," right? It was the frustration of people who care deeply about me watching me get in my own way, right? "Yes, you can, Eddie; you are the one stopping you." You know my grandfather's saying, "Everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time; no one is that special." And I think it's a critical reminder. It's not to say that success isn't warranted, that people who have done great things aren't qualified or talented or haven't earned it. No, not at all, the opposite, in fact. Time plus effort plus consistency tends to land people in pretty remarkable places. But it's like, no one takes that path or starts that journey unless they see themselves as worthy of it, until they give themselves permission. It makes you wonder how many people are simply too intimidated to lace up their shoes and walk out the front door. Don't even give it the thought: "Hey, that's someone else's reality; I'm confined to this space right here."

Think back to the early days of any incredible transformation, right? I'm going to use a, a pretty cliché example, but I think it will do a, a great job of demonstrating my point. Think back to Michael Jordan playing JV basketball in high school, his sophomore year, because he didn't make the varsity team, okay? And at that point, if he was looking for evidence as to why he wasn't quite good enough, there it was; he could have easily found it: not skilled enough, not quick enough, lacks vision, certainly, as this coach pointed out, not tall enough, right? What in the world gave him the right, despite his circumstances, to think he was good enough to ultimately play at a high level? Who gave him permission to be that guy? [Music] He did. And it's just that we don't see or think about any of that now. We see the NBA legend, the greatest ever, forgetting that at one point he wasn't. And his life continuously consisted of crossroads where he had to bet on himself, times where instead of accepting outcomes that weren't ideal, he sacrificed; he said, "I do not accept that." He put in hours, which is the concept that we take for granted, right? People don't sacrifice unless they believe something will come from the blood, sweat, and tears. He believed that it would; you have to believe that it will as well. In fact, your life, if you started right now, made a little dot or mark on the present moment, then you could live two simultaneous existences at once: one track where you saw yourself as something extraordinary and sought to live that out, and the other track where the same you saw greatness as some intimidating, larger-than-life reality reserved for other people, the few. You viewed yourself as an outsider, average, incapable, undeserving. The difference between where those tracks would end up would be worlds apart. Again, because humans follow through on who they believe themselves to be. We don't do things unless we believe they're possible; we don't sacrifice unless there's some sort of delayed gratification; we don't climb unless there exists a summit. What makes life both beautiful and mysterious is that we have to arrive at those outcomes before they exist. As Babe Ruth famously said in that article in the 1940s, "It's hard to beat a person who never gives up," and it's hard to beat them because they believe themselves worthy of what they are chasing. So when will you, when will you find yourself worthy of that next level? When will you find yourself worthy of the financial success, the physique, the significant other, growth in your business? When will you let yourself be more, or different, or happy, or whatever it is that seems just outside the scope of your reality? This world is built by people who understood what they wanted and granted themselves the freedom to pursue it. No superhuman strength required to place greater value on yourself. [Music] No record-breaking IQ necessary to live life on your terms, just a choice, truly a decision. And sure, it will be strange and awkward at first; you'll feel like an imposter in your own body at times. After all, getting what you've never had means doing what you've never done, but this is par for the course; this is life, and life cannot give you what you don't ask for. You can't arrive at a destination you're not traveling to; you can't be who you don't believe you're capable of becoming. So know that that aforementioned reflection in the mirror has a depth to it that must be explored, and that what separates immobility from infinity is the understanding that, hey, if it's possible, then it is most definitely possible for me.

There's an old idea that once you've started, you're halfway there. [Music] How does that make sense, one might wonder? Once you've started, you've only just begun, and that's true, technically. But here's the thing: the journey, the ins and outs, ups and downs, trials and tribulations, they can all be dealt with. They knock us down from time to time, no doubt, but we learn, we adjust, and carry on as we move forward. Most success stories, they're crushed not because of that adversity along the way, but because they never begin; they never take shape or materialize. We can't make them real in our heads; we can't convince ourselves that they'll ever be anything other than fiction. [Music] We think that's for someone else; we look around and assume that reality is different than my reality. And overcoming this mental constraint is always the most challenging step, and that's saying the one I continuously find myself coming back to. Human beings always follow through on who they believe themselves to be; continues to be true. If you don't believe you're worthy of something, [Music] its pursuit is lost before it began. So while the mind tries to paint pictures of how scary that road is ahead, how it's too different or big or complex, understand that should you move forward, you'll find all that complexity can be broken down: one day, one situation, one little step at a time. The only real demon here is the possibility of inaction, because you couldn't make yourself believe it; you couldn't see yourself at the top of that mountain, and so the front door was never opened. Emerson says, "Hitch your wagon to a star," a beautiful reminder that that star is proof your dreams are real, and only as real as the conviction with which you move towards them. Green light your own glory, your own contentment, because contrary to what we might think, no one comes up and bestows that upon us. To live life fully is a decision. Decision's Latin root words: cut off; it's removing and abandoning your restraint in order to be more authentically you, in order that you'll give yourself permission to chase down that which makes you feel alive and soak up all that aligns with your heart and soul. Once you start, you're halfway there. I know that first step often perceived as the beginning, but in actuality a point few ever give themselves the luxury of experiencing. Step one: believe it's possible. Step two: believe you're worthy. Step three: go. Everything else works itself out. You're capable of dancing through life's chaos, of managing the world's unknowns. So know that, understand that, but most importantly, be one of the few who gives themselves permission to experience that, and it starts now. [Music] So [Music]

There's a quote attributed to Lincoln; he says, "Be sure to put your feet in the right place, then stand firm." The other day I was listening to Dan Carlin's podcast called Hardcore History, which, side note, is an incredible podcast; the guy's a brilliant storyteller. And as I was listening, um, there's a specific idea that I wanted to dive into, an idea that I believe if we make an effort to understand and fully commit to is capable of changing our lives. But first, some quick context, right? So Dan starts off this episode called "King of Kings," talking about the Battle of Thermopylae in the year 480 BC in ancient Greece. It's that famous story that a lot of us know where King Leonidas leads that small army, uh, which includes 300 Spartans, against this massive Persian military force that's invading. And the quick version is essentially Xerxes, who's the king of the Persian empire and in charge of that massive army, tells the much smaller Spartan force that if they lay down their weapons, if they submit to him and let, you know, the Persians pass, no harm will be inflicted upon them; they'll be free to go, go about their lives. And here's the famous line in response to the Persian command to lay down their weapons: the Spartans respond, "Molon Labe," which means, "Come and take them." It's a Spartan's way of saying, "Look, the only way we're laying these weapons down is if you rip them from our cold, dead hands," right? With everything on the line, the odds stacked against them, the ground beneath them basically shaking from the march of a far superior fighting force moving directly towards their location, they would not let go of their principles. [Music] They were fighting for something bigger than them, and I couldn't stop thinking about this idea long after I hit pause on the episode. I guess I was awestruck by the power of living life with that type of conviction, because I know in my soul that's the north star I should be gravitating towards; we all should: the strength to be unrelenting with regard to that which we care about. The aforementioned quote from Lincoln about finding the right place for our feet and then holding steady, with everything you have, all that you are, holding firm, I just couldn't get that out of my head. And then it came to me that that invading force represents so much in our personal lives, so many things; one example being the difficult or adverse circumstances, are trying times when you're most likely to concede that perhaps you're no bigger than that world around you. Maybe life is a movie and I'm merely the audience; my job is to clap, laugh, gasp, or cry. I'm a cog in a wheel, a line in a script, powerless. In which case you should be reminded of Viktor Frankl's famous observation that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. In other

Words, the outside world may change; it may evolve, but it will never have power over how you choose to internalize and view what's happening. That's innately yours. So when the circumstances feel like they demand more than you can give, when they suggest you leave your interpretation of life behind, the correct response is, as the Spartans defiantly said, "Come and take it."

That army could represent a push back against your values, the pillars of your individual foundation that you feel, amidst all the pressure, tempted to let go of. After all, it's easier to retreat than stand toe to toe with others; it's easier to abandon than it is to defend, at least in the short term. But as Victor Hugo writes, "You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something sometime in your life." The enemies obviously not being the point. I'm a believer in the conservation of enemy approach to life; allies just pragmatically get you a lot further. But here's the reality: anyone who stands for something will undoubtedly create divide; they'll be criticized and condemned. And when one feels the pressure of that criticism, they must understand that it does not invalidate who they are or their worldview. That is yours; you are the only one who can give up or relinquish that control. So, as the Spartans said, "Come and take it."

And then lastly, my thoughts went to little things that make us who we are—those tiny pieces of ourselves that we, little by little, one by one, over time, give away; the concessions that fade into the background as we evolve to fit in so that we don't stand out. As Emerson beautifully put it, "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." And so that attacking army just might be the universe attempting to mold you to it—perhaps not all at once, but more like that frog placed in water and put on the stove, but the heat increasing so slowly over time that he doesn't realize the heat will soon overtake him. Externalities do not dictate; they are objects in need of meaning, and you are the architect here. If it means something to you, it's worth holding on to—during the difficult times and the easy times, when it's popular and when it's not. There is value within you, specific to you, a value that must be nurtured in order to expand. Others can't and won't see that; the world around you may, even with all its complexities, seek to suppress it, but that flame is there; it's there, and it's yours. And to anyone or anything looking to extinguish its light, "Come and take it." After all, what is a life if not one lived on your own terms? The goal is not to simply exist, but to define the plane on which you'll evolve, to devise your own parameters; be yourself as that world looks to make you something else.

So here's to digging deep, to finding within yourself the courage to stand up to the great armies of chaos, conflict, adversity, and their perpetual conquest; to remember how strong you are, how much control you have as you navigate the unknowns and redefine the right nows. Don't let your strength be the thing you give away; don't let your heart be what gets left behind; don't let your thoughts become illusions of what could have been if only you'd held on. And look, I'm not saying it's easy; in fact, I know that the meaningful road will necessarily be the one that requires the most of us, that makes us question who we are and where we're going. It will ask that when our minds race with doubt, and our knees shake with fear, we find a way to stand regardless, to walk to our demons, look them square in the eye, and proclaim that whatever it takes, we are willing to give, that we will fight until there's nothing left, go until we can go no further, and hold with conviction all that matters most. So the next time life demands that you fall back or bow down, the next time chaos emerges in the distance and asks only that you lay down your arms, here's to being strong enough, certain enough, courageous enough to say one thing and one thing only: "Come and take them."

There are a handful of recorded lectures online by Jim Rohn, who has definitely become one of my favorite thinkers over the years, and I found this little nugget the other day that I wanted to share. He says, "There are four emotions that will change your life: disgust, decision, desire, and resolve," and I want to talk about the first one because I found the story to be incredibly powerful and also relatable, right, in various aspects of life over the years. So he—he frames it by talking about a Girl Scout walking up to his front door to try and sell him some Girl Scout cookies when he's 25 years old and he's broke, doesn't have any money at the time, and tells her what I assume to be a white lie as to why he can't buy the cookies at that particular time, right? So he tells her that he can't; she walks away. He says, after he closes the door and goes back inside, he felt something that completely changed his life: disgust—an overwhelming feeling that he simply didn't want to live like that anymore. He didn't want to lie; he didn't want to be broke. And I'm quoting him: he says, "Uh, the day you can say, 'I've had it,' may not be the day it ends, but the day it begins."

And that feeling, which, of course, on the surface seems like a terrible thing, right? No one wants to feel disgust with their circumstance, but it's ultimately one of the most powerful indicators life can present to us. There has always been, and I assume will continue to be, that point in many, uh, different facets of my life where I say, "Enough is enough." I just never thought to categorize it and label it like he did, but that's what it is—you know, getting to a point where you look around and realize you've conceded too much, you've strayed too far beyond what matters to you, you've left too much on the table. That feeling, again, while uncomfortable, is often what becomes the first step towards that which is truly meaningful: a better version of yourself. A realization, by the way, that's not, uh, some denunciation of who you are, right? It's not saying, "I'm not good enough" or "I'm inadequate." I would describe it as the exact opposite; it's thinking enough of yourself to acknowledge that you're better than this. It's saying, "Yeah, there's a reality where I stay the same, where I don't change, where I allow this to just be my life, but that's not the reality I'm going to choose because I respect myself too much to continue living with that dissonance between my actions and who I know I truly am." And I think at a deep level we all understand this. You know, so many times in life, funny enough, we don't change until we have to, until our backs are completely against the wall. It took me years in my previous professional life to say, "Enough is enough," but ultimately got to that point. I've been there, uh, in relationships, been there with my creative work, been there with my finances. And what's especially interesting is that as you grow, evolve, and your goals change, what you expect of yourself changes, grows along with you. You'll find yourself at that place again and again and again, and that's good; listen to it, right? That's your intuition telling you you're ready for more, that something else awaits, that the status quo is no longer sufficient. And there lies the opportunity to recognize and associate that feeling of disgust, as Rohn calls it, with the need to change, or an opportunity to change before things blow up or become more difficult than they need to be. Everything in your life has been allowed by you to some extent. Now that's an important thing to understand. If there's someone in your life that's making it hell, you, to an extent, are responsible for that, right? No one gets your time without your permission. If you're doing things that don't move, motivate, or inspire you, well, the reality is you're choosing those actions. Now the circumstances may be specific to—to you; they may be difficult, and I understand that, but are you asking yourself how you can begin moving away from it, how you can put walls between yourself and the things that drag you down? Because the bottom line is it's very easy to become accustomed to things that are a drain on our lives—the old frog in the boiling water, right? You throw a frog in a pot of hot water, it'll jump right out, but you put it in a pot of cool water and you slowly but incrementally increase the temperature until it's boiling, the frog won't realize it's burning alive. I think in the same way we learn to live with that situational disgust; the things we're unhappy with just become the baseline or normal; it becomes regular. And what I love about this Girl Scout cookie story is that light bulb moment where it's like, "No, I don't have to accept this; I can take back control; I dictate how I'm going to live, and I know this isn't it." Now you don't need to have all the answers right away; in fact, you most certainly won't have them, but every journey, as the saying goes, begins with the first step. That's precisely why the moment is so powerful; you don't start moving to that new place until you realize that you want to start moving away from where you are.

Rohn talks about disgust being a powerful motivator; that's why it's the initial leverage you need to create that momentum to see the gap between where you want to be and where you are. And this is ultimately a call to that realization: do an audit on yourself and your contentment; the places you find lacking, they're calling for your attention, and it's normal; it's okay; it's part of life, but it's also your opportunity to begin making that change. I like very simple, very straightforward notes to help me parse through this: simple list, two columns—on the left, everything that brings me some level of anxiety or that is a drain on my peace; and on the column on the right, directly across from it, simply what I plan to do about each item—nothing major, but a tangible, manageable step. Because as Jim Rohn says, you begin to utilize that feeling of disgust or discontent to act; you turn that message into something beautiful, an adventure, some variation of growth; that's where the good stuff is. By the way, it also changes our relationship with those emotions when they emerge; it's no longer, "Poor me, I'm stuck, my life is hard," and the list goes on and on. No, it's, "Oh, this doesn't feel good; how can I use it to connect me to something that does?" Let's listen to that: "I don't like the feeling of making excuses as to why I can't buy the cookies; I don't like the feeling of not having the financial resources." Obviously can't fix it overnight, but let's make a plan; let's allow the wheels to hit the road, right? Which, hey, who knows, might be more than I've ever done. This is the magic beginning he alludes to—the confidence being earned, the purpose, the meaning, and ultimately being that we only get results where we place our attention; the outcome we've been looking for. So when you find yourself at that point, when you experience a repetition of disappointment or frustration with your circumstance, let that be the gift it's trying to be; let it be the reason you will soon wake up a different person, moving towards that which aligns with who you are. Every step you take is an investment; every decision to do the difficult thing is a gift to your future self.

Think about this for a second: one of the many things that makes being human so incredible is our ability to engage in delayed gratification—to do things now that will elevate us at a future time. And at a fundamental level we understand that; we've heard the famous marshmallow study where kids were left alone in a room with a marshmallow placed in front of them, and the ones who showed restraint and could resist eating it ended up, in many regards, being more successful as adults. We've all heard the mantras, "Working hard pays off"—that's valuable, but I'd like to take it a step further, because when you say "yes" in the face of adversity, when you move forward when tired, seek out a way amidst the chaos of life, you are contributing to a foundation so powerful that it will elevate you in ways outside your current level of awareness. By simply saying "yes" when I was unsure and often fearful, by continuing to write and speak, I was unknowingly building these opportunities that would manifest years later, right? Many of which were not planned; they were not methodical. My dedication and my north star never changed; I held on tightly to those, but the surrounding components were always moving and transforming. People are in my life today because of steps I took five years ago. I know things about myself and my hopes and my dreams because of risks I took when I was, let's face it, too ignorant to understand their repercussions, but I knew it felt right. See, here's what I did understand: if I, as Emerson put it, hitched my wagon to a star and moved towards it when I felt great and when I didn't, when I was confident and when I wasn't, when I was winning and when I was not, I knew the other stuff would take care of itself. I trusted the process. And here's why that matters; here's why I'm taking you all on a little trip down memory lane: because writing, speaking, inspiring, storytelling—they are my world within. What is yours? What is it that moves you, that lights up your soul? I want you to know that—I want you to know that because its pursuit requires not only a delayed gratification but an acceptance that your dedication will evolve in ways so incredible that you can't even imagine—that all those little decisions become emergent and together represent something more powerful than the sum of its parts. I love the example or idea of the human brain, right? So complex and powerful that it appears almost divine; it's essentially a universe behind our eyes. Even our understanding, our comprehension, is minimal; we are awed by its capability, yet it's not about one single piece of the brain, the tissues or the neurons individually; it's the network—all these microscopic occurrences create together something bigger than everything combined, creating a consciousness we can't even find or point to when looking at the evidence, but we know it exists, and we know it's somehow derived from this ball of nervous tissue. This is not unlike one's pursuit of excellence; the level of achievement or consciousness we are searching for, it can't be singularly identified; it's emergent; it materializes after the discipline, after the consistent work, after the self-belief, after the will to do what is required, whether we wanted to in the moment or we didn't. Then we get our quote-unquote consciousness. You can't and won't always see the value in your dedication, in your sacrifice, and let me level with you: I get how crazy it feels to think, "Yeah, but someday it will mean something; someday that work will put people in my life that will change my world, elevate my existence; it will create opportunities that expedite my evolution, lessons and occurrences that will amplify my wisdom and worldview." But that's the name of the game. If you know in your heart you are pointing to the right star, then it's just about stepping, adjusting, and repeating: move, adjust, move, adjust, move, adjust. There will be a time when you look over your shoulder and are stunned by what you've created, by the distance you traveled. Look, you can't see the future; you can't know what everything will mean and what will occur, but you can continue forward into the darkness so that when the long-awaited light inevitably presents itself, you are in position to receive it, to stand on the foundation you have been building all along. Don't think so much; you might overlook the obvious; you might see past all that you've achieved. Don't move so quickly; you might overstep the moment; you might miss all the beauty you're creating.

One can wake up, get dressed, walk out the door thinking that they're on their way to a someday achievable brilliant finale and simultaneously fail to understand the miracle of the now. It's in what you're doing now, who you're helping now, what you're becoming now. Your miracle is now. You can't see your impact because it materializes behind you as your back is to it and you step toward those distant horizons—a direct link between always wanting to be better and never feeling like you're good enough. If you don't properly compartmentalize the two, you'll always be chasing something you can't obtain while you walk right by the brilliance you're piecing together in real time—that carrot just outside of reach for the runner on the treadmill. And I'm not saying your goals and aspirations aren't incredible; I'm not saying you aren't one in a million; I'm not saying you won't shock, change, add unparalleled value to the world. No, that's most certainly possible, but I'm saying you're doing that now too—like right now. You're not on a trajectory to someday be one in a million; you are one in a million on a trajectory to live life fully, to further expand, explore as you should, but let's not lose perspective along the way. It's hard to watch someone who has changed your life feel like they're not good enough; it just is. It's hard to watch something so beautiful feel like they must first evolve before they're worthy. And it's like, "Sure, I get it; we celebrate visible, tangible successes—the innovators and CEOs, world-class talents, people who have built the present and will build the future." But notice there are no ceremonies for the ones who lift others up every day, who lead by example, who show up again and again when they're going through their own private hell. There are no record books for them, but I'll tell you what: if there were, you'd be there. And if I could remind you of that every day, I would. The small things you do do not feel so small to those around you; in fact, your mere existence changed my life, and I know I'm not alone—not even close to alone. It's a tough world we live in—tough enough to bring even the strongest amongst us to our knees—yet you think you're flawed and insufficient. I ask, "Compared to what?" A lot of people would have folded a long time ago; wouldn't be fighting for a dream or standing for anything; a lot of people wouldn't be giving so much of themselves. Again, I continuously run into this question: why is it that the ones who are changing the world—not with their social media follower account but with their actions—so often fail to see their own value? Perhaps they're using the wrong measuring sticks; maybe their sights are set so high they don't realize all that they're making better along the way; maybe they don't know that every soul they light up puts in motion a ripple effect, an exponential value add. But if you just lift your head up and look around, you would see quite the ripple effect; you would see quite the chain reaction; you would see that you are not just working towards change; you are actively embodying it. Don't be the only one who can't see that. Why do I say this? Why spend the time? Well, because one, I think it's not something we say enough: the ones who truly change us or make our lives better need to be told that; there's just something tragic about keeping it to ourselves. And two, because you don't give yourself enough credit; you're blind to the path you've traveled and the dragons you've slayed. I couldn't believe my ears when you apologize for being weak. Weak? Weak is retreating; weak is being selfish; weak is forfeiting your gifts. Those descriptors are antithetical to who you are. And sure, we all slip into them once in a while; we're human beings; we all endure our valleys of despair, but to fight with everything you have on your way back up—that is not weakness; that's courage. I think our definitions might be crossed here. See, I'm a firm believer that absolutely we have to be our own greatest critics, no doubt, but the value in that, the expectation is that it's coupled with a commitment to also be our own greatest ally. Are you—are you your own greatest ally? Because sometimes I'm not so sure. Do you see how much light you bring to the world? Much better people around you are when you enter a room and smile, when you listen to them in their problem, when you inspire them by making decisions with so much at stake, when you don't let the hardship of your past keep you down? And I know how hard it's been. I'm telling you this because maybe you don't know; maybe you talk so much about what the future will be and how big and incredible things will become that you overlook the parallel world you are creating with each step along the way. A pilgrim, a wanderer in search of an impact—you are already making. So look, keep your head up and your expectations high; you will do remarkable things, but don't be afraid to look over your shoulder and see that you already are. Don't beat yourself up for not yet arriving at an imaginary place while you change the world along the way. Give yourself the same grace and compassion you would give to me; allow that for yourself. Don't think so much that you overlook the obvious; you just might see past all that you've achieved. And don't move so quickly that you overstep the moment; you might just miss all that beauty that you're creating. This isn't a pep talk; this is me holding up a mirror so that you can see the value add. You're not merely an IOU to some future self; you are all the people around you whose lives you make better every day—the lives you touch by being you.

The other day I went to check out an open mic—basically, people sign up to share their short stories, their poetry, stuff like that—and I'm sitting there soaking it all in, enjoying each one as they went up on stage. And eventually this girl makes her way up; the first thing she does is she tells the room, "Hey, I've never done this before, but I've always wanted to, so here I am." She, uh, takes out her phone, begins reading some of her poems, and pretty quickly two things stuck out to me. One is she was brilliant—just so incredibly talented that I'm thinking, "Man, if she keeps doing this, she's gonna find herself in some crazy places; she's really gonna make an impact." That was the first thing. And the second, as I sat there and watched, uh, was that I noticed that her hands were visibly shaking. I was pretty close to the stage, um, and I could see this happening to the point where she had to place one on top of the other, right, to keep the hand that was holding her phone from bouncing around while she read. That's how visibly nervous she was. And immediately my mind went down this road, reflecting back on the moments I've had just like that, because man, I've been there—where you're both determined and terrified at the same time, but somehow the desire to try outweighs the fear just enough for you to find yourself in that exact situation, just enough that you step into a foreign world still wondering whether you made the right move. You know, every step of the way—from the car, the building, onto the stage—until you hit the point where, "Okay, well, now you can't turn back; now you're here; you can't leave." And the thing is, and this is what was so beautiful to me, she was never forced to do this at gunpoint; no one made her step into that chaos; it was self-created. She could have stayed home; she could have closed her journal or the notes app on her phone, and that would have been the end of that. But no, not today. Today one yes would lead to another, would lead to another, and another. And despite the nerves, the sweaty palms and shaky hands, she would open a new chapter in the story of her life, prove to herself that she's bolder than she thought she was just a few hours ago—that there's upside when you confront those unknowns in life. And as I sat and watched, I was so incredibly moved, so proud, so impressed—partly because I know that to many of the people in that room it might not have looked like much, you know? It's like, "Okay, great, round of applause for the new artist or poet; welcome." But I knew the gravity of the moment; I understood how big it truly was. And regardless of what words came out of her mouth or how well they were assembled, that night was not about the performance; no, it was about new beginnings; it was about outstretched wings, opening one's eyes.

To the learned helplessness and pinpointing the opportunity that was simply waiting for that first step to occur. [Music] And see that's what I want to emphasize; that's what I believe every single one of us needs to understand to fully get the biggest moves we make in life. Well, it's easy to convince ourselves that they aren't necessary or worth it. The things that transform us hide themselves a lot of the time; they don't feel urgent, they aren't life or death decisions. They can be the stages we never step on, the people we never talk to, the chances we never take. [Music]

Because, well, what happens if we simply stay right where we are? Say thank you, but no thank you to those fleeting opportunities? Nothing. Nothing happens. More of the same. And realistically, nothing is far less scary than all that other stuff. We don't fear nothingness; we don't intrinsically fear more of the same. No, we fear stepping onto the stage; we fear vulnerability; we fear messing up, looking stupid, being judged. And yeah, when you do nothing, you get to skip all that, avoid all that discomfort and that potential pain. But you also miss the feeling of victory, of closing your eyes at night knowing how badly you wanted to just let that ship sail, how terrified you were about what could go wrong, but you did it anyway. You get to feel you have earned the rush of stepping into a chaotic world and, even if temporarily, you tamed it. That's what life is about.

Always remember that we have a natural proclivity to avoid pain, not to pursue the things that make us feel alive. Deep down in our DNA, there exist instructions—instructions to run away from the things that could hurt us, embarrass us. Our minds will race, our bodies will kick and scream, our hands will shake. That's just the way it goes. And so we prove to ourselves that it's all conquerable, that reality can be relearned. It's a layer of resistance that has to be faced and then dismantled. Why was I so moved that night? Because I got to watch in real time someone dismantling that fear on their way to something incredible. It's courage—stepping into the arena, not for the people next to you or anyone else, but for you, because you know there's more; you know that where you are pales in comparison to where you can be.

I'm definitely one to look back from time to time and reflect, and I'll tell you what I'm incredibly thankful for: the hard times that shaped me, the challenges that were forced upon me and made me who I am. But beyond that, and perhaps even more so, the times I stepped out on my own accord, terrified and manufactured change; the times that the fear of staying the same eclipsed the fear of failure. [Music] The times I could have stayed home, woken up the next morning and lost nothing, but instead saw what there was to be gained and threw myself into that metaphorical fire so that confidence could be forged and new chapters could be written.

Let's all remember how out of focus the present moment looks; remember how inclined we are to look at life through a lens of scarcity. We are trying to avoid, avoid, avoid. But if you can even briefly find the strength to step back and ask, what is there to be gained? You see that not going is the real danger. And those stages that seem arbitrary, that seem like optional stops along the way, well, they're just as imperative as the air you breathe; they are not some things, they are everything. We all hit a point where we look back on the roads we traveled and see the culmination of footsteps that have come to constitute our lives. [Music] And we want that moment to feel full, like no stone was left unturned, like we put it all on the line. So will you step onto this stage of life? Stand your ground as the curtain opens, read your poems to a foreign audience? Will you share your voice, even though it trembles? Because if you do, you're giving yourself permission to truly live, to feel. Look, we're not here for a long time; this is a very short ride, so why not give as much of yourself to the world for as long as you possibly can? Why not step out knowing [Music] that the difference between nothing and everything is what you do with shaky hands? [Music] The miracle isn't that I finished; the miracle is that I had the courage to start—John Bingham.

We all share a commonality: the runner on the starting blocks, the one at work, the one studying, the one trying to create the best life possible for their family. See, we are all at a beginning, looking up at an idea—nothing given, nothing to adjust or react to, no, just an idea. And ideas, when we are at the bottom looking up, they're deceptive in nature: their size, their weight, their breath. They like to present themselves as much more than they actually are. And so, to turn ideas into things, one needs to see themselves not as some descendant of Mount Olympus tasked with lifting that 2,000-ton boulder before them, but as one armed with an understanding, the awareness that the 2,000-ton boulder before them can be broken down piece by piece, that it is nothing more than a facade. And while it may stop most in their tracks, you are simply not most—not because the world treats you differently, but because you see the world differently. By knowing you are bigger than the sum of its parts, you have defanged this wolf; you have put yourself in position to do that which makes the world tremble, that which causes even the most confident to doubt. You have put yourself in position to begin. [Music]

See, there is a time to look at the top of the mountain, breaking through the clouds, powerful and majestic. And then there is a time to look at your feet, and right now is the latter. You're not concerned with the big things—no, not right now. Your job is to move forward into this hate, to not see but adapt, to not know but trust things will materialize, and you know that, but at the same time you can't control the future. Your battle is right now, and it's with the space immediately in front of you; it's with the thoughts attempting to deceive you; it's with the things the outside world will tell you. But forward motion is the antidote to all of that, and so forward you must go. The beginning is always the hardest because our thoughts are a mightier foe than life's obstacles. Thoughts take on lives of their own; they become monsters, demons, dead ends. Obstacles, on the other hand, just ask that we adjust. There is no obstacle that can't be addressed by stepping into it. [Music] And so, while the temptation is to sit thinking, speculating about how challenging the road ahead, this is where you think less and move more; harness the world as it comes. Because the truth is, nothing is as big as it appears to be. Life is incredibly solvable; every problem has a solution; every bad chapter ends; every setback is a chance to be more than you've ever been. But how would you know that if you bowed down to the mountains in your head? How would you know that if you never began? [Music]

So let today be the dotted line you sign with your future self: a promise to be aware that the mountaintop peers over you, but to not be distracted by its shadow; to take the climb one rock, one step, one second at a time. Let it be an acknowledgement that nothing life throws at you can't be broken down and conquered, so long as you don't get in your own way. Gone are the days of being held captive behind steel bars of self-doubt and fear. That road ahead is not the problem; it never was. Refusing to give yourself permission to travel down it was the problem. So, without constraints, meet life head-on. Let the trials and tribulations emerge, because they will, but know that you will rise to meet them. Let the unknown highlight all that you don't know, you can't see. Fine, the one thing you are sure of is that you will, one by one, transform the unseen into strength. And when those thoughts emerge, telling you that you've gone too far, that you're in over your head, that this isn't meant for you, know them not as truth, but as the only obstacle that can derail and distract you. Don't have time for make-believe monsters—no, not today. So onward you go, to map the unknown, to tame the untamed, to live your life the way it was meant to be lived. [Music] [Music]

In John Maxwell's book, *The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership*, he talks about momentum and how the saying, "If you can't take the heat, then get out of the kitchen," doesn't quite get it right, advocating that it should instead be, "If you can't create the heat, then get out of the kitchen." And being that we are all leaders in our own lives, I think he hits on something that none of us should overlook: the power of momentum, of not waiting but creating, reminding ourselves that we are not spectators sitting in the stands and simply reacting to or complaining about the events taking place below. No, we have the ability to change the things we do not like and create the ones that don't yet exist when we know they should. [Music] Too much of the time we react to that metaphorical heat in the kitchen, as John alludes to, forgetting that we can dial it up or down. We're not only characters that have been created; we are ourselves creators.

I talk a lot about mental shifts that have changed my life, and there are plenty, but perhaps the most important was the realization that I can do something about the things I don't like. And I know that sounds simple, probably even obvious, but I look back at various stages of my life, and I'm blown away by the amount of things I tolerated for years and years simply because I gave it no thought. There were so many questions that I never asked, so many opportunities I never explored, until I realized, hey, you can stop accepting those things you don't want. It's amazing the power of a simple list that was created: two columns—left side, all the things that bothered me, that I wasn't happy with, or the I knew should be there that had been lacking; and then on the right column, what I'm going to do about it. Every single item, each one—what's the step I'm going to take? And I just poured my heart onto that paper. It's like you look down and feel like you have finally moved into the driver's seat. There's something incredible about knowing that you have taken control, something satisfying knowing that you're not just accepting what falls out of the sky and lands in your hands. [Music] Especially since we seem to have this proclivity to box ourselves in. Human beings are amazing in their ability to adapt, but the danger is when we adapt to and normalize a reality that falls short of what matters to us. [Music] The danger is in forgetting that nothing happens without momentum, and momentum is self-made.

One of my favorite stories is about a man walking through the circus. He sees these enormous elephants, each with one end of a rope tied around one of their legs, and the other end of that rope connected to a chair. The man, as he's walking by, he's curious, asked one of the trainers, "Hey, isn't that dangerous? Couldn't the elephant easily break free and get away if you want?" And the trainer says, "No, see, we started doing this when they were baby elephants, and when they were babies they couldn't physically break free; they weren't strong enough. And so, over the years, as they grew and became bigger, stronger, it never dawned on them that by simply pulling on that rope or walking away they could break free." These chains might as well be invisible, and that's what they were—mental. The rope wasn't keeping the elephants to the chair; the elephants were keeping the elephants to the chair. And there's something there in that message for all of us. For some of us in this particular moment, maybe it's big picture; for others, maybe we're at a season of life where it's simply creating momentum, uh, in some type of smaller capacity. And I travel through these ups and downs personally all the time; I think that's a healthy thing; it's a sign that you're looking for that growth, you're checking the world around you for those imaginary ropes. Recently, I went through a period where I just felt too long had gone by without something significant happening; I needed to create momentum. And so I asked, well, who was I reaching out to? How was I pushing myself? What was I doing that scared me? What was I doing that was growing? How can I take things up a level? All these little levers of opportunity are all around us, but we have to know to look for them, to see them, and pull. And it's truly an incredible thing. You do that, and you start to feel the movement underneath you, the momentum, the excitement, because you're trying new things, you're taking new risks, talking to new people, and that's how that snowball grows. We have to realize that we are mighty big elephants perpetually tied to these comically small chairs. We have to create that heat in the kitchen because we're not only capable, we are ready, we are equipped to move forward. See, the moment is never going to be perfect; the momentum will never come to be on its own. Those things wait; they wait for you to stop watching life go by and click start on the stopwatch. [Music]

Yeah, time has always ticked away, but it will never mean as much as it's about to now. Tick-tock whispers the opportunity, signifying that in order to evolve, we must decide we are bold enough to go where we have not yet gone and strong enough to leave some things behind, to choose to accept some discomfort and its impermanence instead of a regret that is forever. [Music] And that's a trade that demands we look into the future and find value in the unseen. It's a move that says the seconds ticking by mean too much to dishonor them by not making the most of what's around you. And those answers are always there. At the end of the day, that's what it's all about, right? We make decisions without even realizing we're making them. To accept the current moment as fate is to choose what you're given over what is possible, over everything that's out there, available for you. It's never too late to pull on that rope around your foot, to be who you, as the saying goes, might have been. Know that in your world nothing consistently shows up or exists without your stamp of approval; that will always be true. Nothing carries on without you allowing it to do so, and that understanding will be the difference between the ground level and the exponential heights you are capable of reaching. Creation, the email, the phone call, the ride, the book, the period of time, the step out the door—any and all of life's seemingly unremarkable characteristics. [Music] Within them is your ticket to greatness. Just know that you have to be the one that winds the clock; you are the sun around which everything else revolves, the architect that makes something of value from them. There will always be momentum where you decide there should be momentum, so pick your head up, open the door, and step out into the world of potential that awaits. [Music] [Music]

If someone were to tell you life is easy, they'd be incorrect. If they were to tell you there's a specified path to contentment, they'd be misinformed. [Music] If they were to tell you there's a book of answers to every question you'll come across, that'd be misled. [Music] The point is not that life is easy, predictable, or defined. The point is that, despite the fact that it's none of those things, you're capable of making something from it; that from a seemingly endless barrage of unknowns exists the pieces to build something truly extraordinary. I came across a quote a few years ago from Abraham Maslow and a concept that, uh, was in Ernest Becker's book, *The Denial of Death*, and the idea is we are simultaneously gods and worms. And every once in a while you come across an idea that changes the way you see things; that's definitely one of them, right? A duality that is, is perpetually under tension: gods and worms. We're animals; we're flesh and bone, eroding by the day. We're given a temporary stay on a giant rock rotating around the sun, while simultaneously equipped with the power to not only be aware of that finitude but to transcend it, to dream, to see things that are not yet there. Our minds are miraculous; we are both gods and worms. So what do we do about this? How about use the fact that we're going to die, the fact that in many ways we don't have control, the fact that life is messy and unpredictable and often a maze of complete chaos, to, rather than shrink because of it, take off the guardrails and reach for the heavens, to put things into existence that do not yet exist? Why not go all in? [Music] After all, the thing about living, as the saying goes, is that no one makes it out alive. No one hops on the roller coaster to constantly look at their watch, to dwell on its temporary nature—no, it's to enjoy the ride. And what is our time here but a few short rides around the sun? So when it feels like life is too big, when the day overwhelms or disintegrates into chaos, [Music] don't fixate on the rocky nature of the world around you, but on your ability to take it all and make it mean something. Cherish the idea that although everything around you is dictated by natural laws and constraints, your mind is bound by nothing, and where you seek answers you will find them; where you pursue more you will unlock it. Our finitude, our challenges are essential to our existence; they remind us that we have nothing to lose, that the song will end, so why not dance like it's your last time? Because, sure, in time we will be dirt for worms, but that's exactly why, as long as we're here, we'll live to, in our own unique way, bridge the gap between the ground we walk on and the heavens above.

Looking back and understanding what you might have done differently is a source of strength; awareness is a currency of sorts. But being sorry for yesterday, dwelling on the days gone by—that is a waste of time. [Music] See, those feelings of discontent, the emotions that rise to the surface as our minds sort through that catalog of regret—you know, the emotions that try and pull you back down into the very moment in which they occurred—if you let them lead you by the hand back into a manufactured hell, they will, and down you will go, reliving an expired pain that you can neither prevent nor do anything about. After all, it is the past. But alternatively, if we can do one of the hardest things for humans to do, which is depersonalize the occurrence, remove the emotion and find the value, you stand face to face with an advantage in life that is exponential. Not only are you refusing to be defined or tortured by yesterday, but you're creating a framework by which you can actually use that pain to make a better right now. You're acknowledging that your mistakes are not indicative of a current reflection in the mirror; they're not metal bars keeping you closed in; their opportunities in disguise. A friend of mine once told me, "From our pain comes our purpose; from our despair comes our hope." It's from the times we got it oh so completely wrong that we can now arm ourselves with the ability to get it right, to be better and faster and stronger and wiser. The reality or life in the big city, as the saying goes, is having to fall in order to rise again, because if nothing falls there are no ashes from which to rebuild. We change when we've lost; we evolve when we're cornered; we become more when life shakes our worldview. There's power in this suffering—that is, if you choose to find it, and that's always a decision that's ours to make. Again, those same memories that can pull you down if you let them can also be used to elevate yourself higher than you've ever been. [Music]

There's a saying that life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent what you do about it, and when you think about it, it's obvious, because knowledge is only as powerful as our willingness to put that knowledge to work. Yesterday's pain, its lessons, can be the very reason you transform, evolve to a higher version of yourself, but that's only if you stop using those lessons as an attack on your self-esteem and start seeing them as the gateway to tomorrow. Otherwise, they'll remain that ball and chain around your ankle. Is the mistake that cost you your business? Maybe the inaction that fractured a relationship? A swing and miss that hurt your pride somewhere along the way? Are they going to remain sources of pain in your mind, mental images or reflections of where you fell short? Are they going to fuel the comeback, this sequel? [Music] When we fall, we're given one of life's greatest gifts: a part two, armed with the knowledge we otherwise would never had, armed with an understanding that with the failures comes the strength. As I've grown, I've placed more and more emphasis on thinking, how do I perceive myself? Because when that slips, life is never too far behind. But when you capture and maintain a healthy perspective, things seem to improve along with—not because thinking makes it so, but because how we think prompts how we act, and how we act changes our lives. It's that simple. [Music] So the question, "Okay, that happened; now what does it mean to you?" will always be crucial. "What are you going to do about it now?" will always be imperative. And if you look, you'll find that opportunity everywhere.

I was thinking recently about all the books I've read, all the podcasts I consume, and there are a ton, right? But how valuable is that information if I don't act? How much could any of it mean if it's consumed and then forgotten—a memory with an image and a title? I'd be better off reading one good book a year, listening to one podcast, and injecting that wisdom into my life immediately, acting on it, using it to manufacture momentum, right? If the acting is more important than the knowing, why have I not placed greater emphasis on the action—like 90 percent more emphasis? And I think that's a question we should all be asking. And so let's move from the book example back to the thinking, reminiscing about our mistakes, the times we let ourselves down. What are our memories if not just little novels where we, as the main characters, embark upon the hero's journey—warriors called to something greater, leaving a previous world, facing our demons, learning about ourselves along the way—perhaps cut short, left without a conclusion, only in need of an ending? [Music] And these painful experiences are essentially us walking around with novels unfinished in our heads. We've done the work; we've learned the lessons, endured the pain. And rather than continuing to revisit that discomfort of the moment, that stopping point, rather than dwelling on how we shut the book after the conflict occurred, let's open it back up and integrate that value, that lesson into the present. Let's grow from it; let's evolve because of it. [Music] That's what's so beautiful, so exciting about the future: it hasn't happened yet; it's in your control; you're painting that picture now, in real time. And so how convenient that you fell yesterday; now you have an opportunity to be stronger today. And how incredible that you learned what action or inaction was not in line with the person you want to be; now you have an opportunity to root all that out. And how beautiful that you felt the pain of quitting, of stopping short, of throwing in the towel; now as you push forward into that great unknown, you have a reminder, a benchmark to compare with the difficulty of the present moment. You can silence the voice in your head begging you to slow down because you now know what the alternative looks like. To put it simply, you are not the same person you were yesterday, specifically because of what you've been through. You have those mistakes to thank for the meaningful road you will travel. And let that be the expectation: we don't get through life without mistakes; there is no perfect journey. And the ones who move courageously into the future know that more than anyone: life pushes back; the world has a say; and sometimes that means we must be humbled along the way; it means we swing and miss; it means plans fall apart. But you will prevail—maybe not immediately, but eventually, because you perceive the adversity as merely a cost of admission, specifically because you don't let it run loops in your mind; rather, you extract the value and transform it into momentum. You are not your past; you are what you decide to make of your past. [Music] Empowerment is

Knowing that you have control of your life, that you create the expectations, and you carry them out—whether it be tomorrow, in a month, in a year, or even longer—it's knowing that the image in your head is the standard. It's fact. [Music]

Because when you leave the door open, when you leave the door to your ambitions cracked even the smallest amount, the realities of the present moment, they find their way in, and they create dissonance. They want you to see; they want you to be intimidated by the gap between what you have and what you want.

And truly, the greatest gift I've ever given myself is to start every pursuit knowing that whatever I'm chasing, whatever it is I want to obtain, it will be reality. It's possible. Period. That's my starting point. All I have to do is connect the dots—no questions, just steps. So there's a certainty that I possess as I move on to the next level.

And as a creator—whether I'm creating for, you know, my YouTube channels, collaborations, clients—it doesn't really matter; there's a common theme, right? And it's that the world can't see the image you have in your head until you complete it, upload it, share it, email the final result. You know what the outcome will be in a way that just can't be expressed or articulated; it can only be shown upon completion. And you must be the one to show it.

By the way, the reason that's so significant is because there's no difference between making a film or realizing a dream. Either way, there's no rewards, there's no applause, there's no assurances until you're done. [Music] Until you've crossed the finish line. Just like a client can only point to things they've seen as a reference point, well, the people around you, they only know the present moment; they only know how things are. And so it's borderline crazy to put those opinions on a pedestal, right? To absorb that criticism, to adhere to those rules; they navigate around the now, the present, not the future, not where you're going. Right? Who cares about them now? You'll just be looking back at it as you make your way on to your next goal.

See, all this circles back to those dots that need to be connected, because the places you're going, the things you're becoming, they require three things: the understanding that all problems have solutions, the certainty that you will find them, and the persistence to power through. That's all. That's the mentality that will put you in a position to do anything you want; it will empower you.

It's not that the people around you are dumb, or that the world wants you to fail; it's just that placing your fate in their hands is—is meaningless. To discount your dream based on how things are or the opinion of someone else is like a pilot worrying about airspace he's already flown through, or asking the random dude in seat 22B to fly the plane, right? They are passengers on the journey—a journey that is worth the climb, that will be rewarding, that is waiting, but you have to be the one to see it, and you have to see it before the world does. You have to believe it before anyone else will, because you'll build brick by brick on a foundation that the rest of the world would simply walk right by. Why? Because right now it's not a skyscraper with a beautiful architecture, 50 floors, and an incredible view; right now it's an ordinary plot of land that no one would think twice about.

So remember: yes, it's possible; yes, there is a way. And when we focus on the vision and connecting the dot in front of you, the world opens up. Be your own biggest fan; learn to cherish the sound of your own applause, because that is always what must come first. [Music]

I find it interesting that what we want most is often brought about by the inverse of what we'd expect. It's a paradox that's amazed me for much of my adult life. And what do I mean? Well, here are a few examples: the best way to achieve freedom in your life is to be incredibly disciplined—two things that are seemingly opposite in a sense—or that the worst of times often open the door to the best of times, or it's from a position of strength that one is best able to ensure peace, or from our suffering, our pain comes our purpose and contentment, right? And you get the point; I could go on and on and on.

But the reason this is so important, why I think it's worth discussing, is that it sheds light on the value hidden within our struggles. You know, when you realize the paradoxical nature of growth, the discomfort makes a little more sense; it's easier to wrap our hands around. So let's say getting up early—perhaps you weren't a morning person, but you're trying; you're trying because you think those few extra hours in the morning will add some lift, all right? The alarm clock goes off; the last thing you want to do is open your eyes. Maybe you even start thinking, "Who cares? Right? This isn't that important." You begin rationalizing ways you'll go back to bed and just make up for the time throughout the day. But when you simplify the equation, you realize what you have is an opportunity, and you're either going to say yes and capitalize on that opportunity or say no and stay where you are. Discipline, even with the small, seemingly trivial stuff, becomes freedom. And if you want to position yourself for a life on your terms, where you're at the wheel, on your schedule, it means facing demons just like this; it means you fight your fight now so that you can mitigate it later, rather than saying, "I wish," or beating yourself up for not being a little bit tougher in the moment. You instead get that sense of accomplishment; you get the luxury of time and freedom. And I think that's a simple but perfect example of how discomfort in one moment becomes contentment in future moments—not a very intuitive trade-off.

Or how about our low points? We all know—no one escapes low points. I've always found them easier to handle and internalize when I know that it's bringing me closer to something valuable, when I know that there's something good on the other side, and that the pain I'm feeling, the thoughts that are inevitably going to pass through my mind like clouds on a windy day, they're obviously not ideal, but they're not a waste either, because something will come of them. And the goal in that moment, under the duress, is not to move the immovable—after all, you can only control what you can control—but it's to simply put one foot in front of the other until you emerge from the storm, because we all eventually emerge from that storm. It's when we get into the habit of trying to do what is outside the scope of our control that we do ourselves a disservice. Because look, we're human, equipped with human biology and human emotions, navigating a tough world that is indifferent to how we feel or what we think. And while we can certainly strengthen and fortify that emotional IQ, the reality is no one is on a high all the time; life is ups and downs. And when we realize our superpower is not to fight the down times but to accept them, take them in stride, learn from them, and extract the value, we empower ourselves; we're giving ourselves permission to live life just a little fuller after what we've experienced.

The human experience requires many seemingly contradictory puzzle pieces, all working together in unison to create that final illustration we're looking for—not just discipline and freedom, not just low points and high points, but countless others. Jordan Peterson, of course, famously discusses chaos and order, and how both not only exist but are pivotal to a fulfilling life. We are designed for chaos; we must step out into unknowns, situations that feel bigger than us; the courage to do so ultimately becomes the pathway to order. As we get used to the change, we acclimate; we find our answers and ultimately create a sense of fulfillment. The challenge being that now we have conquered our demon; we must prepare for the next, because just like too much chaos isn't good, too much order is equally destructive. Right? Another example of something we'd assume as negative—chaos—being the thing, in actuality, that paves the way for better days. It's a staircase. I've heard Tony Robbins say something similar when talking about our need for both certainty and uncertainty. We must have some elements of everyday life mapped out, but too much creates a mundane existence without the adventure and growth we've been looking for. It's from the unknown we capture more of ourselves; it's from the uncertainty we get growth.

And I say all of this not just because I think it's fascinating in and of itself, but because it's incredibly easy to forget, especially in the thick of things, that it's all essential to life working the way it should work. Those losses become games; the disappointment becomes growth; the down times become launching pads to evolve, experiences, greater adventures, and new chapters. It's certainly not intuitive to look in the mirror when amidst life's chaos and say, "Thank you to the universe." I get that; I'm not implying that you should, but I am saying it helps to know; it helps to be aware of the paradoxical nature of your journey. I look back at the times I was most fearful or angry at myself, and if I could go back and tell that version of me one thing, it would be that all that adversity is going to push me forward, that I'd never have the things I wanted most if I didn't step into all that discomfort, that it's going to be okay, that I'm going to be incredibly thankful for it all, and so will you. This is the push-pull of life, the chaos and order of the day. It is not in spite of, but because of those moments you'll be more than you've ever been. The human experience is a paradox, and the quicker we get that, the quicker we let it work for us. No more fighting unwinnable wars, but rather taking all that we can control and using it to lift ourselves up, to be our best selves, to make tomorrow the miracle that it can be. [Music]

What is the difference? When I think back to the first time I deviated from my comfort zone, my routine, I lost the certainty in my life, and as much as I wanted to go back, I remember telling myself, "One more day. Just one more day," until someday became the current day, and that made all the difference. [Music]

Day one, starting my company. I remember turning the camera on and feeling so lost, saying words into a microphone that I almost didn't press record, but I did. Until one day I realized not only was it bearable, it was my purpose, the vehicle that transported my thoughts to the world, and that made all the difference. During the times when some of the projects I invested the most time and energy into flopped, I remember almost saying, "This isn't for me," but I kept creating; I kept creating until I found that intersection of what I love and what adds value to the world, and that made all the difference.

What's crazy is how small a decision that difference seems in the moment, how insignificant the decision feels as one stands and looks out from their doorway. The difference between going and not going, stepping out or staying in, making the move or waiting one more day—that difference is sometimes disguised in a cloak of triviality, but do not be fooled. The little decision to move forward, to hang on when your ego is screaming at you to just let go, walk away, find some semblance of comfort and predictability. [Music] Those decisions to endure in the moments of hardship are what we come to look back on as the turning points that reshaped and redefined life as we know it. The courage required to make the call, release the video, register the business, send the message, reconnect with that loved one, deviate from what your friends are doing—all those things, they may seem small enough now to spend a minute or two thinking about before moving on to our routines and what we are comfortable doing. After all, it's easy to disregard the small things, but the acorn that becomes the oak tree is small. We must, along with the current reality, see the potential in what those things become.

Ensure there are times where the present and the ideal are so different that it seems almost incomprehensible, but how do we get there? We get there by making the little decisions that will ultimately make the greatest difference. You are always one decision away from that evolution. So next time you find yourself looking down at the step in front of you, the step you know in your soul is the right step, remind yourself, "Yes, it sure would be easy to walk away here; it sure would be easy to turn back." Yeah, it's just one tiny step, but in totality it's exponentially more than that; it's the lifeblood of your new reality, the water to your sea, the oxygen to your lungs; the crossroads in front of you will be, with your permission, the beginning of something larger than life. It will ultimately be the difference. When our backs are against the wall, we're forced to become more; when the clock is ticking, we are tasked with finding answers that hide among us. It's in the darkness we find light, and while lost we find ourselves. The paradox of life is that from our pain comes our purpose, our evolution, and our greatness.

I love thinking back to about 2014, making my way around Boston, having just quit my job, essentially purposeless, clinging to a YouTube channel and a podcast idea that I would name "Your World Within." And why? Why do I think back? Why does this mean everything to me? Well, because at the time I knew nothing; I understood nothing—nothing about speaking or media, audio, video, nothing about running a business, but more importantly, I knew very little about life and what's truly required to progress in a world with infinite moving parts. I didn't know that my lack of understanding is what made everything feel overwhelming and complex, and that it was up to me to simplify. [Music] I didn't know the extent to which I'd have to befriend failure, and that was the most eye-opening realization. Because when you gravitate towards a risk-free existence and you box yourself in, as I had for so long, of course you don't get the upside, but you also don't fail as dramatically either. Life was a simple game of cause and effect: do work, get result—not much room for more than that. And so stepping outside that box in the way that I did changed some rules; I learned some things. First: you can spend time on something, you can exhaust energy on something, and get nothing in the short term for your effort, and I mean nothing—unless you count getting your pride stomped on, unless you count your friends disappearing when you need them most, unless you count self-doubt and a constant worry about not amounting to anything. I mean, these are very raw, very real human emotions; they tend to arise when we start something new, but in them is also the power. This is where the light bulb turns on, and the path emerges. It's where I learned that we only get what we want when we endure—or what we don't. And what a foreign concept when you think about it, right? It's like, "Eddie, take this mic, go stand in front of this audience and pour your heart out." Your knees are shaking; chest is pounding, but dude, trust me, it'll be good for you. And funny enough, it was. It was because the fear in my stomach became the indicator that something new, something exciting, something more was around the corner. Like Pavlov's dog hearing that bell, anytime the fear kicked in, I could feel myself getting closer to something meaningful, to a higher version of myself. [Music] The pain is an invite; sheer terror—and let's face it, that's what it feels like sometimes—it's an upgrade disguised as the monster that you think you should be running from, when it is, as I recently mentioned, the adversary you should befriend. We have to change our relationship with discomfort, because our initial understanding—the one that comes stock in our minds—is never sufficient to build anything of significance; its default setting is to preserve the now, not expand it. And so, just like those stock speakers that came in my 1999 Ford F-150 when I was in my early 20s, let's rip it out; let's customize; let's upgrade the quality of the sound we hear and the things we say to ourselves. What an advantage it is to know that the hard things are what make us level up, to find that awareness. What a blessing that when life's difficulty startles and scatters the masses, you could be the one that remains standing tall, seeking out the advantage amidst the commotion. [Music] Every little act of courage becomes more and more meaningful, powerful. But we must lose ourselves to find ourselves; we must embrace our fears if we are to become courageous; we must fail in order to succeed. And sure, sometimes the price seems steep, but I promise not going costs more; wishing costs more; if onlys cost more. So maybe for you it isn't a YouTube channel or a speaking career; maybe it's something totally different. [Music] But it is something. And should you bring yourself to pursue that which your heart pulls you to pursue, you'll have those moments of defeat where you're mad at yourself for leaving the comfort and safety of your previous world. You'll have times where you have no idea what to do, where you feel alone or stuck or unsure. The difference will be whether you see this as the invite you've been waiting for or the reason to turn around and settle for less. That's the question. How do you internalize all that emotion that will feel like it is consuming you? I couldn't believe how strong that temptation was to go back, nagging at me every day, "Just come off the edge; just be comfortable again." But as my old coach would say in college, when we're doing wall sits or something physically taxing, "15 seconds; you can do anything for 15 seconds." And it is in life—just a culmination of 15-second windows. It's compartmentalizing the process; it's turning the difficult into the advantages. You have the ability to not think like everyone else; you have it within you to rewire your previous conceptions of the world, to see darkness not as your reason to hide from conjured-up monsters but as your invitation to become the light. Remember that the best way to be more is to have the courage to put your back against the wall, and you won't want to in the moment; there will never be a perfect time. But committing to that vulnerability will release from within you the power, the strength, the greatness that has been for so long tucked away. By moving into the chaos, you are simultaneously creating the calm you always dreamed of; you're realizing the possibility that just needed the door left ajar to make its way into your world. [Music] [Music]

"Don't you dare reach for your pocket," I told myself. In fact, take that phone and go put it in another room; shut your internet off; set your devices to "Do Not Disturb," and think—please think. [Music] You are losing yourself to distraction, or as Cal Newport puts it, you know, we're in a world that demands more thought, more deep work than ever before, while we all simultaneously become more and more incapable of that focus. And to me, it feels like more than a chuckle at our outrageous screen time or a self-deprecating joke about how reliant we are on our phones, that the dopamine hit—you know, I think it's antithetical overall to what we need, to where we find our purpose—which is a dichotomy that's frustratingly true with so many things, right? That balance—for me, to have a digital business that means so much to me, that I'm so proud of, but also tiptoeing around that same digital world like it's a hungry lion capable of devouring me—that's—that's a real feeling. It's water that's foundational for life, but in too large a quantity will kill; it's the sun that, while integral and responsible for this planet as we know it, also has no problem ending, you know, anything that's too openly exposed to its rays, to its heat. There's always a sweet spot between too much and not enough, right? That happy medium, that intersection is why we're all here. Because when I don't take time to deeply think, when I lose the big picture, I remain in a cycle of routine, and sometimes that's great, right? Morning routine is great; I don't really have to think about it; I'm programmed. Things like driving a car, as he explains in "The Power of Habit"—your foot stepping on the gas, it's involuntary, and thank God for that—but one must be able to step outside that loop and ask the big picture question. We have to make time to at least roughly chart the course, and it'll change; life will present its obstacles, but we will have at least parsed out what matters and what doesn't. When life is all habit and reflex, when you've lost the ability to examine the self because one minute alone with your thoughts is agonizing, well, you—you won't be able to see past the surface of who you are and what you're capable of. [Music]

I want to be clear here: this is not me complaining about perhaps the most prosperous society ever to exist; this is me saying, you know, there are some dangers that we way too easily overlook—that when you outsource your thinking, you outsource your future, and it's not hard to fall into that trap. I just referenced the book "Deep Work" a few minutes ago; I think it's one of the most important books someone can read in this day and age. You know, Cal Newport talking about separating ourselves from distraction. I remember the day I first listened to that book; I was sick, so I wasn't on my usual run; I was walking, and because of that, I felt this urge, as the book was playing, to reach into my pocket and check for notifications, and it really was eye-opening. It's like we are scared to completely immerse ourselves in solitude, but solitude is where we uncover so much; silence is where we hear what our souls have to say; it's where we understand who we are. My favorite Joseph Campbell quote: "The cave you fear holds the treasure you seek." And man, I hate to say it, but I think being alone, even for a short period of time, is that monster lurking in the cave. [Music] You know, the one we're scared to confront, even though it's what we need. Solitude is the demon we are consistently masking in a constant influx of media and small talk and DMs and emails. You know, that stuff has its value, but it's—it's not real in the sense that I find it disconnected from purpose.

So here's something that I've been doing, and you know, I would suggest that you give it a try; it's been certainly helpful in my life. Start small—even if it's 15 minutes—but take a walk by yourself, no phone. And it's challenging at first, because you know you want to be consuming something, even if it's, um, you know, educational, valuable, still, right? No phone, solitude. Think about life; think about who you are; think about what you've always wanted and where your current reality aligns; think about how much you have and how lucky you are; think about any or all of these things, but think. Let your mind go where, amidst the push and pull of life, you don't often let it wander. For example, some thoughts from my walk today: some of it random, sporadic noise; some of it more valuable than others, but all of it valuable because the process in its entirety is valuable. You know, I spend some time thinking about the week ahead, the things I'm excited about and how to prepare for them, and realized one of them—I didn't want to do. Then had that debate with myself: "Well, do I not want to do it because it doesn't align with my goals or because it makes me uncomfortable?" Came to the conclusion that I think it's the latter, so it's staying in my schedule, but I'll reassess. I thought about Florida; I consistently think about how lucky I am to be down here after living in so many cold places; it's just such a beautiful environment, and you know, one that I don't take for granted. I thought about a statement I just heard from a professional athlete after his surgery, talking about how hard it was on him, but that he would rise from the ashes and he would have the best year of his life. And you know, my mind went to one of the most important roles of leadership—that it's not about you or your rise or fall, right? To lead is to make it about the team, about the overall goal, and how grateful I was to come across that video, to see that and—and really dissect it. You know, sometimes the best ways we learn is by seeing what not—

To do right, and I'll take that with me. I'll take that understanding, uh, with me on my own journey. Last thing I remember, I thought about some of the books I've been consuming. I've taken in an insane amount of books over the years, but I practically stopped reading physical books, right? And now I consume mostly on Audible or other audiobook methods. Made me wonder whether the value is equivalent; how much that varies from person to person. Maybe something to research later, right? That's that's all I remember as I sit here now, but the point is, you know, this is stuff that if I don't immerse myself in solitude and break through the barrier of boredom, I don't get to, you know. And maybe you go through a week where you don't find much, but as the saying goes, right, one idea, one concept, one epiphany can truly change the dynamic of your life; could change everything, right?

There are answers just beyond the realm of distraction we operate in. Some of them pertain to trivialities, like the audiobooks in the cold front. Some of them pertain to your goals and your development; who you are, where you're going, and how you'll get there. As Newport says, to simply wait and be bored has become a novel experience in modern life. And while his emphasis and focus is primarily on work and creating an environment to be productive, I want to suggest that it's not only our work that needs saving, but ourselves. We can't lose touch with what matters most. We can't become so shallow in our thoughts and our actions that the beauty remains buried away. There is something in you that's untapped, unfinished, raw talent or desire. There are pieces of you that need to be assembled, and if left alone will wither away unremarkably, quietly, and probably without your noticing.

So my ask is that you think of this as more than, you know, me cheering on long walks. It's not about the walks, right? It's about time alone with yourself and what that opens up for you. It's about recognizing the spaces we need to carve out from the outside world so that when we re-enter the outside world, we know who we are; we understand where we're headed; we don't go where the wind blows; we are able, as the saying goes, to adjust our sails to get to our destination. All you need is more time with you. [Music] [Music]

What's one thing I wish I knew when I was younger that I think people could benefit from today? What single piece of information could have the biggest impact? I spent some time thinking about this question, and the more I think about it, the more the answer becomes incredibly apparent. It's that you are in control of your own life, your own destiny, your own future. And when you take accountability for yourself, life changes, period. And if you thought that was obvious, I would advocate taking a look around; maybe a stroll through social media, the Twitters and Instagrams and TikToks of today. And no, that's not the real world, but it's certainly a microcosm of the real world. What do you see? Well, you see chronic blame: "I don't like where I'm at, or things are so-and-so; that must be your fault, or their fault, or someone else's fault." You see people looking everywhere but in the mirror, actually seeking out victimhood, because that's what brings the attention; that's today's currency. It's much easier to be the victim than the hero, because being the hero means you have to sacrifice something. It's people saying the news or some institution or the federal government is the problem, and if those things would only change, then we'd be good.

Let me explain why I think this mentality is self-sabotage, and why I would take younger me by the hand and I would say, "Listen to what I'm about to tell you." Where you start is often outside of our control. Let's be real; life is not fair. We don't all get dealt the same hand. But this next part, as I once heard Will Smith articulate beautifully, is the same for everyone: what you decide to do about it right now is what matters, and that is the control that we all have. It's not your fault where you start, but it's your responsibility to choose where you end up. You can shake your fist at the sky, or you can start building a life that matters to you. It's easy to blame the world, to be the victim, at least in the short term, but a fulfilling life is about meaning, about fighting for something valuable, about evolving into the version of yourself that you always knew in your heart you could be; you just had to unlock it. See, no one down the road was ever happy with themselves for blaming the world while they literally remained stagnant.

I would say to a younger me, "Worry less about how you're perceived and think more about who you are, what you're capable of, because that you can always control." Stop losing yourself in the news or whatever the narrative of the day is that has nothing to do with your progression; has nothing to do with your very next step. So sure, be informed, but do more, consume less, because by and large it's a distraction. And I would say, the government, which has become the crux of our discourse today, transforming into a modern-day religion: look, the government's job is not to give you anything; it's there to protect what's inherent to you already—your right to live life on your terms. See, satisfaction, it will come from good habits; it will come from self-belief; it will come from taking risks and failing and learning; it will come from the courage to step out into a world that's completely unknown. It will never come from a self-interested politician or body in Washington, red or blue. So stop whining about political optics and focus on where your two feet are taking you right now, because I promise, in the grand scheme of things, that's what matters; that is your strength. Expecting someone else to come along and change your life is like screaming into an abyss.

I would say to my younger self, "When you start looking around and seeing what everyone else has and beating yourself up for not being as good or feeling like you're behind, look, it's great that their success motivates you, but dwelling on it won't make your life better." Life is a race between you and you; it's a fight between yourself and those thoughts that constantly knock on the door, looking to settle into your psyche. If you defeat that demon, you'll be where you want to be, regardless of where others are; you're right where you need to be. So keep your head up and keep moving forward. I'd explain that to become something more, to change [Music] requires a sacrifice that feels so substantial, so big at first that it bullies most people into staying right where they are; that to become something new, you have to learn to play the fool, to get humbled; you have to change your relationship with short-term failure, and that's not easy. But taking control of your life is not supposed to be easy; only worth it. They're different. And I can certainly look back at my own life, think about the times where I was so busy pointing out that I didn't even think to point the finger at myself. I was so worried about life being unfair that I existed in this temporary state of paralysis the whole time, not knowing that I could have been stepping forward; could have been tapping into the single greatest power I possess: control over my own life.

See, every time you feel anger or the need to blame those around you, you're taking the spotlight off of what matters and placing it on things detrimental to where you want to be, to your journey and your future. Even the most unjust, arbitrary things—let's say you didn't get that promotion you were beyond qualified for, or you were mistreated by someone, or things didn't go the way you wanted them to—you can fill in that blank. But refusing to blame others and immediately taking responsibility, again, even in a situation like that, it gives you one of the greatest advantages in life; it gives you that gift of control. You can now assess the situation; you can now ask yourself, "Hey, what can I do to change this?" You can delve into the why, find the lessons and the value; you can come back and reapproach this thing stronger. Because to blame others, to take on that role of victim, it's essentially living life in the passenger seat. It might be easier, might be less work, less responsibility, but what you never have is control over where that car goes. But when you own it, when you say, "Hey, maybe it's not my fault, but look, it's mine now; it's my responsibility, the good, the bad, every aspect of my life," it puts you in position to change things, to take the wheel and re-route to a destination of your choosing. So that would be my message to the world. I know it's not an easy road; I know life is unfair; I know things aren't perfect. But the best thing you can ever do for yourself is say, "You know what? This is mine to own, and I'm going to look around for that light switch that will create momentum; that little decision that will get the ball rolling. I'm not going to sit back, shake my fist, and blame life; I'm going to walk out that door and create life." That's where you'll find what you're truly looking for.

Can life change in a day? Well, what if we made today a day of action, of being decisive, of promising ourselves that our goal or objective is to make a single move, however small? What if today action is king [Music] and we live by the notion that whether the result of our courage is good or bad, whether it's the result we hoped for, the one that we didn't, at least now we have something to work off of, and that means we've moved beyond where we started? What if today we live by the notion that a vision can change our lives, but a vision without that small step is powerless, and today we take that small step? It's easy to forget how good progress feels, how incredible it is to know that we're moving towards something meaningful in our lives [Music], something that we chose, that we're building; we had the courage to break life down so that piece by piece we could build it back up. We are our happiest when we are progressing; we're designed to map out the unknown, unexplored territory, to make it our own. We're not just flesh and bone, but travelers with godlike capability of seeing that which is not yet there, and with an idea and courage, there's nothing we can't do. And that's why when we stop seeing infinite opportunity, when we pretend that settling is okay, the status quo is enough, we know deep down in our souls that something's missing; we need the next door to unlock. So today, let's find just one door that we can open. It reminds yourself of the shock wave that goes through your system when inspiration guides an idea, and progress turns that idea into reality, because momentum connects every aspect of life [Music]. Not hitting the snooze button can mean seeing the sunrise, which can mean you read three pages in a book you wouldn't have read, which could mean your day improves, which could mean you make a call that you've been meaning to make, which could mean a dozen wheels start turning, not because you did everything, but because you did one thing. Today can be the day that changes your life, and you don't even need the miraculous to make that happen; you just need to push back against the normalcy of your everyday, create little microcosms of chaos that you can tame, you can understand, make your own, and then stack on top of each other. You treat that little voice of uneasiness or nervousness in your stomach as assurance that the path before you is the right one. Remember that almost all decisions are reversible, but that a decision, at least, puts you somewhere, right or wrong; it moves you along and shows you more of life—the things, the people, the places you've never seen before. And the only bad decision is no decision. Some folks never move towards meaning, towards the things that they want in, well, their entire lifetime, because they didn't realize it wasn't an earthquake they needed to shake the old world at its foundation; they needed to make one decision, one decision that might be wrong, but at the very least would reassure them that wrong decisions aren't fatal. A decision allows you to remap a new reality and take another step and another and another. You can change your life today by picking your arena and simply stepping into it. You don't need to be the best or the greatest or the most innovative; no, that's for another day. Today, if you want to change your life, open the door and step in; you'll be amazed at what transpires [Music].

Life is built by quiet believers [Music], those who see what is not and transform all that is; who poke holes in truth and embrace the absurd; the ones who dream while awake and cherish every moment. See, for the quiet believers, it's not about talking; there's nothing to really talk about; words are just noise; it's footsteps that inspire; it is the journey that tells the story. And what quiet believers understand is the subtle line that separates truth and perception; they get that dancing to a beat means sometimes you dance alone, and as Nietzsche points out, sometimes they're even thought to be crazy by those who can't hear the music. In this life, no one comes up, places a hand on your shoulder, and pronounces that your future is great; no one looks you in the eyes and says they can see the life you'll build, money you'll make, or shape you'll be in. Now, that doesn't happen until the next life, the one you've yet to create. So patience, patience, quiet believer; the abstract is just as real as the hand in front of your face [Music], just with a little more road to travel. The sun is as real at night as it is when it rises; things are simply not always what they seem. The impossible, the unimaginable—they're stories, stories that need to be transcribed from one's mind to the paper in front of them; they need a delivery mechanism. And quiet believers, they quietly scream with a megaphone so loud the world can't help but listen, because ready or not, it will be shaped and reshaped again; every moment is a new beginning [Music]. They are the wizards that flew around in a young author's head before she courageously shared the magic; the feeling of that game-winning shot making its way through the basket after school in a North Carolina driveway; an entrepreneur starting a bookstore in his garage, but seeing not books but accessibility, time, a better way. See, the truth about life is some create it and some merely react to it, and well, you, you hold the pen. So dream away, quiet believer, because you have a world to construct, mountains to climb, oceans to cross, and stories to tell. Quiet believer, today is yours, and those changes, they'll propel you; the naysayers will inspire you; the stars, they will guide you, shining bright as a reminder that you are made of the very elements lighting your path. You are an architect, not talking or explaining or promising, but simply showing, leading, earning respect from yourself, attention from the masses, and a place in history. Because quiet believer, looking back, if you found the courage to change even one thing, every second will have been worth the fight [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music].

There has to come a time when it's now or never, where you look at your reflection and realize the cost of waiting is far more expensive than the cost of stepping out into the vast unknown. In every journey, that's when life effectively starts. But here's why this is so tricky: what's caught me off guard so many times in my life, it's the many shapes that waiting takes. See, waiting is not always sitting there and doing nothing; not at all. Sometimes waiting is just the bare minimum; it's moving forward so slightly and so slowly that you can essentially trick yourself into thinking that you're progressing, into thinking you're making it happen, when if you really stopped and looked, if you were honest with yourself, if you really took a second to review, to analyze, you'd see that you're leaving almost everything on the table; you're not creating progress; you're dancing with the idea of progress [Music]. Sometimes waiting can mean just going fast enough to not have to look at the fear you're hiding behind. That's reality, right? I think it's a very normal thing, but I also think life is too short for normalcy. I think we can do better than normal, and I believe with all my heart and soul that the world has for us the spectacular, sitting there on the top shelf, waiting for those who can acquire the self-belief and the awareness to reach out and grab it. And how crazy a thought to realize that we could have been sitting next to the very thing we've needed for days, months, years, but never taught ourselves to extend our hands and reach [Music].

When I look back, the most important moments in my life weren't tangible acquisition; see, the flashy things that try and capture our attention, right—the money, the condos, even social media growth, business growth, whatever it is you're working towards—those things are wonderful; they are benchmarks that hopefully align with your north star, but they are not the difference makers; not at all, right? They were the byproduct of what really mattered; they weren't the moments that moved the needle. My greatest moments were mental shifts, cognitive transformations; that's why I do this for a living. I see how much can change when we step back and look at life just a little differently. It was, uh, my realizing that I was demanding too little of myself; that the world won't seek greatness in me until I see it in me. That shift, that pushed me to demand more of myself, seek bigger challenges, value my work to a greater extent, charge more for my services, and that mental shift is what made some of those externalities possible. It's realizing that if you want it, more is on the table; that yesterday doesn't define you; that it's never too late to begin again; that everything you need, you have, right? These are the ideas that truly change lives; they make the difference. And if we don't become aware of these things, we leave them in the rearview; we walk right by them [Music].

In other words, the most important moments of my life were when someone or something shook me and effectively said, "Hey, look around you; if this is what you want, fine, enjoy, right? But for your information, there is more out there. And if you step up just a little, if you do just a little more, if you pivot and come at this thing a little bit differently, you will further that reach; you'll create another ripple effect that will transform your life." But we must stop and look around. A good friend of mine, and this is just the other day, right? We're having lunch; we're talking about marketing, and, uh, you know, we always joke that, uh, marketing is just a part of the business that I don't particularly enjoy, right? Necessary, but not my favorite. Then we're going through kind of different strategies, uh, ideas, and, uh, he presents one, and I say something like, "You know, I don't need to do that; it seems a little over the top and unfiltered." He goes, "Man, you're hurting your reach; like, what good is that metaphorical restaurant that's not on anyone's radar? You're going to be the best pizza shop that no one knows about." And it just kind of hit me, right? It's like, "Man, I needed to see that differently; maybe there's room to be a little more aggressive." Again, one example of many, and not every time is the idea or opportunity the right one or necessary one, right? But at least you stopped; at least you thought about it; at least you contrasted where you are with the potential upside of doing something differently. That is where we leave opportunity on the table. You know, we, most often, myself included, paint regret as this, uh, the result of this blatant walking away from something, a deliberate declaration, sort of a, "Oh, no, I'm not doing that; no way." And sure, sometimes that's the case; sometimes we're cognizant of our fear and decline to move forward. But I wonder how often our neglect or refusal is softer, more subtle. I wonder how much of our regret comes from simply not stopping and looking around, not letting in alternative points of view that challenge us and force us to level up. How much of our regret comes from simply not understanding how short life is and how quickly time passes by. And if we don't create some abrupt change in our day-to-day, if we don't manufacture some momentum in our lives, even when it feels least ideal to do so, you know, the ship we needed to be on [Music] will sail away without us.

So think back to your hardest days, even the ones that took you out, that brought you to your knees, and realize that you survived every single one of them. You have, for years, been acquiring the armor, piece by piece, to move into something bigger [Music]; you've been learning; you've been evolving. But today, what about sitting down with yourself and having the discussion you don't want to have but need to have? What about asking if it's time to leap where you once stepped, to run where you once walked? What about taking a good look around and asking why you're living in ways that don't serve you, why you're conceding so much of what matters? Again, the evolution you want and need is there; it's always there, and that's the key takeaway here; it will always exist. But the question is, will your commitment to stop, to think, and to reach for it be there? Years from now, looking back, I think we'll find that our willingness to ask those questions mattered more than we could have ever imagined; that silence often implies the lack of adversity needed to evolve. Because the reality you want, it doesn't come to you; you must go to it. And that means reapproaching today's normalcy and comfort, seeing those things for what they are: a continuation of the status quo. Nothing changes until you change. So take a look around; examine those pillars holding up your worldview, not once, but over and over again. And if one, many, or all of them must be knocked down, then so be it. The point here is that you can build. The point here is that life happens on your terms, whether you realize it or not; that doing nothing is accepting what things are; it's a head nod and a thumbs up to reality as is [Music]. So again, ask yourself what you want out of life, and if you are missing that mark, tear down what must be torn down. It might be hard now; it might hurt now; it might be uncomfortable now. But when you're eventually standing upon an existence that aligns with who you are and what you want, you'll see how necessary it all was, how it was there the whole time, and thank god you found it within yourself to reach out and take it [Music]. So [Music] [Music] you