The Real Reason I Left

Hello. Welcome back to Making the Argument. And today I'm going to talk about, um, two things, really. Uh, one is why I decided to leave political office, uh, long before I would have had to. And, uh, why I'm actually optimistic about America's political future, despite the fact that Virginia is attempting to California itself right now. And despite the fact that the, the right seems determined, uh, to get in the most public of food fights, sometimes over important stuff, uh, and sometimes over stupid stuff, right before a midterm election, which is increasingly leading me to believe that we're probably going to lose control of at least the House of Representatives, um, at a time where we really, really can't afford to report too. And yet, despite all that, I'm optimistic. So you have to stick around for the second part.

So the first part is, why did I leave office? And this kind of plays into some of my frustrations right now with respect to what is going on on the right. Um, so if you, if you actually look at the way that the Republican party operates and you look at our, our party platform, there's a lot of stuff in there. I mean, the reason why I'm, I'm a Republican, despite all my frustration with the Republican party, is because of the platform. When I look at the platform, when I look at the stated beliefs of the Republican party, I, I tend to align with, uh, the vast majority of it. There's some stuff they don't do as, as much as I would like, or they're not as hardcore as I would like to be. Uh, but I, but I generally support it. And then when I look at the, the Democratic party platform, I, I see, uh, a lot of things that just absolutely disgust me. So, so it's a pretty obvious choice to become a Republican.

And then when it came time to run for office, again, my, my, I, I never had like this ambition that I was going to serve in an elected office one day. U, but I, I was in a position where I actually challenged a Republican incumbent. So the, the person that was representing me at the time in the Virginia House of Delegates was a 14-year Republican incumbent and, uh, and, and had a, had a decent voting record, decent voting record, and, and a, and a decent guy, right? Um, but there were some votes on what I thought were some, some core issues having to do with, with taxes and, and things of that nature that didn't make sense to me for the district that we were in. Plus, I saw this district as an opportunity to carry, you know, legislation that was going to advance conservativism, not just kind of like hold the line. And so, I, I announced that I was going to run. He decided he was going to retire and focus more on his business and whatnot. And, uh, and, and again, we, we get along. Like, I, I certainly don't bear him any ill will. I'm, I'm glad he's doing well in business and family and whatnot. And, uh, and he's always been very, very courteous and, and kind to me.

And then I, uh, and then I started serving in the legislature. And right off the bat, you start to recognize some things about the way that politics works. Um, and one of the things that you, you recognize right away is that certain, um, certain ideas you had about the way it would work behind the scenes, um, is, is accurate, but you don't really fully appreciate its power until you get there. And one of the most frustrating things you learn is that a lot of the people that you thought would be your, your biggest allies when you got in there, are not. Um, because there are so many of the, the people that are pushing either bad policies or are just totally unwilling to fight, are people from the safest districts. Uh, they're the people from the sort of districts where they're winning by 30, 40 points on election night. That's if they even get a challenger. Half the time they don't even get a challenger because the Democrats know there's no point running in their district. A, and, and yet these are guys that are not carrying the tough legislation and they're not very supportive of you when you carry it. In fact, they're, they're constantly making arguments about how you should leave the cultural stuff alone, or, you know, we don't, we don't need more stuff on guns, or that's going to put some of our, our people in purple districts in, in a bad situation.

And so, you constantly find yourself in this position where you're, you're trying to be reasonable, but you also think that the Republican party should not just be about holding the line. It should be about advancing. It should be about moving the Overton window further to the right. Because after all, if we believe that conservative policy is good, is a net good, not just for ourselves, but, but for, for the commonwealth or for the state, then, uh, why wouldn't you do these things? And the inevitable answer is, political practicalities. It's like, Nick, look, the bottom line is, certain stuff is just not popular with the population in general. And while I would vote for it every single time, you know, we really got to think about maintaining our majority. And the thing is, is what makes this argument so frustrating is that there is a reasonable element to it. And the reasonable element is, is that obviously, if you can't control the speakership, then you can't control the committees, which means you can't get anything done, right? Because the speaker controls committees. And so there's a part of you that says, okay, I understand it. But when, when can we do the things? And it's always, well, when we get the majority, or when we have the governor and the Senate and the house, then we can do the things. And, and you look at that, you're like, "Okay, there's a certain element of that as reasonable, because if I carry a bill and it just dies in the Senate, what's the point? If I carry a bill and it just dies on the governor's desk, what's the point?" And I would argue, I would push back. I would say, "Well, the point is, is to, is to make the argument for good legislation and then force them to kill it and run against them for voting against it."

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But then you would get, you would get the, the pinser attack. So you'd get the people in the more moderate districts that would be worried that your bill on guns or your bill on abortion, or even your tax bills, would, would deprive their constituents of certain funding and cost them the election, right? And everything was about, you can't cost the guys in the purple seats the election because then you'll lose the majority. Okay, some element, there's an element of truth to that, right? That's not a totally unreasonable argument. But then the other pinser movement would come from the guys on, on the very, very safe districts, and they would always put themselves in a position to be defending these guys. But in reality, you would look at it and be like, "You just don't want this stuff, do you?" And that's, that's the frustrating part. The frustrating part was not when you learned that people in purple districts didn't want everything that you wanted to do, or didn't agree with as much on the Republican party platform as they might have advertised. Um, or you had some that they did, but they also knew they were in a tough district and so they just wanted consideration for that, which was perfectly reasonable. No, no, it was, it was the people that you would get in deep red districts when, at the end of the day, they didn't want those things. And that's why they'd never carry legislation and they'd never speak about it, and they would often times quietly work behind the scenes to try to kill it if you worked on it. And, and it was always to support these guys in the purple district, but in reality, they just didn't want that legislation.

And after a while of serving in that capacity, you start to wonder, man, am I, am I really having the impact I want? And, and we had some wins, right? We had some wins there. There were definitely times where we're able to draw attention to things. And because being in the legislature is not just about voting, right? And it's not just about carrying the legislation. It's also about speaking up for things. You have a platform to speak. Go use it. And we did get some wins on that front. I was happy for that. But I, I got to the point where I also realized that by staying in office, there were certain things that I, I couldn't do to the extent that I would like. Um, and I, I've people have noticed that I've become a little bit more outspoken on certain things and, and they kind of wonder, well, why weren't you more outspoken when you were in office? Well, first of all, I was, uh, but second of all, it was because there are conversations that you have to have as a, as a caucus, and there needs to be a reasonable expectation that the things that you talk about in that caucus meeting remain confidential, because you're talking strategy, and you want everyone to be honest about what their strategy is and what they would like to do and why they think it would be the appropriate one. And we had some big, we had some big battles in, in some of those caucus meetings. But I always, I always protected the confidentiality of them because I thought that was appropriate, because I do think it's appropriate for legislators to be able to come together and to discuss things and to strategize. Now, if they had ever talked about doing something illegal or, you know, that would have been a deal breaker, but they didn't. It was largely just about how do we, how do we craft legislation? How do we talk about it? How do we strategize? Who should we have talk about it? What are the various points we should bring to bear? What's our messaging strategy? And, and if you can't have those honest conversations with a bunch of people in a confidential setting, it's not that the conversations start, or that the people end up getting a more transparent process. What it is, is the conversations they don't take place, and now it's just little cabals of people meeting to discuss things or doing what they want. So maintaining the confidentiality of a caucus meeting and things like that, that was important. I stand by that. I don't regret maintaining that confidentiality. But I did get to a point where I, I wanted to be a little bit more open about what the types of things that go on. And what, what people need to understand is that you should not just take your representative's word for things. Now, if they've developed a track record over time, um, and, and you, you have, you have seen that you can trust them to vote the right way, to not just vote the right way, but to actually carry the bills, to get up there and talk about it, to advocate. Um, there is a point where your legislator should earn the benefit of the doubt. That doesn't mean absolute loyalty. Nobody in politics is owed your absolute loyalty. But if someone has been willing to, to go out there and take the slings and the arrows, sometimes from their own side, in order to stand up for the right thing, and you throw those guys overboard right off the, the moment you don't understand what they did, or the moment you might not agree with something that they did, that's problematic, because you're never going to agree with somebody 100% of the time. What, what you're hoping for is somebody that you can agree with 100% of the time on principle, and then there might be a strategy disagreement, right? You see this in the pro-life movement, or the abolition movement. You see this within, uh, sometimes the gun strategy, like what's the best strategy to get to what we both want? And sometimes there can be heated discussions on those things, and that's perfectly fine, that should take place. But we should be careful that a strategy discussion doesn't cause us to end friendships or, or to totally end loyalties anymore, because we didn't agree on the best way to get to a particular outcome. Sometimes you can have honest disagreements about the best strategy. You shouldn't have. I mean, if you're having a bunch of disagreements on principle, or whether or not we should even get to that place, that's when you get into a place where it's like, "Dude, you don't represent me anymore, and you either need to be, you need to change, or we need to primary you." That's perfectly acceptable. But I, I came into situations where I would have people that didn't have any problem with my voting record, or didn't have any problem with, with what I was saying or doing. Uh, but then somebody new would be running, and it's like, well, I'm gonna support this guy because they're the, they're the shiny bright new object. And it's like, and, and again, when you're, when you're in the fight, and, and people that really should have your back, don't have your back, it's incredibly demoralizing. Um, the other thing that I, I found out a lot about politics, which caused me at some point to just kind of, you know, not want to, or to not think it was the best area where I could impact change anymore, uh, was, you had people that have expectations on what you could accomplish that was way beyond what was within your power to accomplish. So, for instance, as a legislator, I would have people go like, "Well, Nick, you talk about this stuff all the time. Stop talking and get it done." Okay. Well, I, I carried the bill. I voted for the bill. I talked about the bill. I advocated for the bill. What? What more do you want me to do? I want you to get it done. Okay, genius. I'm one vote out of a hundred in the House of Delegates. I'm one vote out of 40 in the Senate. And if the governor doesn't sign the bill, it doesn't go into law. So, I need at least 51 votes in the House, 21 votes in the Virginia Senate. And I need the governor to sign it. Now, if one of those people doesn't want to do that, right? If one of those chambers doesn't want to, there is nothing more I can do to get it done, right? I can't do that. And I would have these conversations with people. I would honestly have people look me in the eye be like, "You're just making excuses." I, yeah, my excuse is the Constitution. I'm, I'm not allowed to just waltz in, you know, seize power and do the things you would like. I have to follow a process, and I'm trying to follow that process as diligently as possible, while at the same time informing you about what's going on, right? But at the end of the day, I can't mandate my bill into law, right? I, I've got to, I've got to work through things. And, uh, and, and most people, the vast majority of people understood that, right? But there would, there would be some who again, would be on your side, but then they would be frustrated that, why have you had to carry this bill six years in a row? Well, last year the Senate killed it. The year before that the governor killed it. You know, it's like, you're going through, going, that's, that's why like, it, I'm doing my best here, man. So, that was a frustrating point.

The other frustrating point was, you would run into people where, uh, they were conservatives, um, but they all had their one little issue where they weren't very conservative on, right? Like they had their government spending that they liked, or they had their government regulation that they liked. And because they had supported you, they thought that on this one thing, you would side with them over your stated principles. And when you didn't do that, they got angry with you, right? And, and sometimes it could be donors. Sometimes it could be, uh, you know, like really positive supporters where what they, what they thought was, is that all of their support or their donations equaled you will do what they ask when they ask. They won't ask you much, but when they do ask, they expect to get the answer they want. And when you have to tell those people no, uh, they can withdraw support. They can get frustrated with you. And it's demoralizing. Again, it's another one of those demoralizing features. And, and I learned all of this kind of early on, because I said no a lot, because I didn't want more government spending. I didn't want more government regulations. I, I wanted the government out of our lives. And, um, the bottom line is, is that a lot of times it's a lot easier to advocate for government spending, because then, oh, somebody's getting something, and the people that are having to pay more don't always make the connection that they're having to pay more because of the goodie you gave away to somebody else. And so when you make a lot of principled stances on those things, um, you make a lot more enemies than you do when you just say yes a lot. And, and it's, it's always hardest to say no to your friends. Uh, but I had to say no to my friends a lot. Uh, and sometimes I, I understood it, right? They would, they would want something, and they had a good reason for it, but I didn't think it was the right role of government, and so I said no. And, um, and then there would be some other issues where the people that would really like you for saying no all the time, every once in a while, you'd find yourself in a position where it's like, man, I don't like either course of action, but in this course of action, the yes actually gets us closer to what we want. And man, they showed up immediately. It was like, nope, you, you voted for that. Well, yeah, because the alternative was worse, and I don't care. I don't care. I, I don't want any of that, so I'm not supporting you anymore. Okay. Well, the guy you're going to get instead of me is going to vote for all the things you hate. But if this is the hill you want to die on, just understand that you're okay. You're dying on all the hills. You just don't realize it yet. And, and that was the issue, because my issue with compromise was, I, I wouldn't compromise on principle. Uh, but if I could, but if we could compromise on strategy, or we could compromise on procedure, in order to get us to a better position, I would try to work with people in order to achieve that. But I just would not compromise on principle. Um, and so after 10 years, I just found that the bottom line is, is that's not what's rewarded in politics, right? Is, as much as people say they want people of principle. Um, and they want fighters. That's the other one. I want a fighter. Well, everyone wants a fighter until you're the one they're fighting against. And like I said, that's what happens, right? A lot of, there were conservatives who are nice people, and they wanted a fighter, and they love that you fought for the Second Amendment, and they love that you fought for life. Uh, but hey, when it comes to this government grant program that they really want, because it helps them personally, uh, they, they want you to vote for that. And I would say no. Like, what do you mean no? Like, because it's a new government grant program. I don't want more government spending. Um, and, and then all of a sudden, they didn't like the fact that you were a fighter. Then all of a sudden, you better listen. You better do what they want, or else you were in trouble. And I just chose to be in trouble a lot.

So, so when I look at the various reasons why I left office, it, it came to the point where it was, um, you know, I, I, it was a little bit frustrating having to tell people that you generally agreed with, no, because they wanted the government to do something you didn't think the government should do. Um, it definitely got frustrating when somebody would accuse you of something. They'd say you voted a certain way, or you supported something that you didn't. And instead of the people that had, instead of the people that you had faithfully served for years, giving you the benefit of the doubt and asking you before they challenged you, they just challenged you, or they started talking about you or accusing you of stuff publicly that you had to then stop what you were doing and go take time to correct it and say, "No, I didn't do that, and here's the proof." Um, that got frustrating. The other part was, is I wanted people to have a better, a better view of what was going on on the inside, um, that I didn't feel would have been appropriate to share while I was still in. And I know that, I know that's going to anger some people, because like, you should just be transparent with people all the time. Guys, when you elect someone, you delegate your authority to them to go legislate and operate on your behalf. And like I said before, it's not that I didn't want to reveal stuff that was going on, but we did have to have sessions where we could have closed-door sessions where we could have honest conversations with one another about strategy. And a lot of those, those conversations were more useful than they weren't. They were more useful than they weren't. And all it takes is for you to betray the confidence of that discussion once, and now you, you eliminate the trust that needs to take place in those. And so I, I wasn't willing to do that, right? And I, and I stand by that decision. But now that I'm out, uh, without betraying that trust, I can still tell you that the biggest thing I learned from being in those conversations is, and I, and this is something I used to talk about, is you need to not just take your representative's word for things, you need to go back and check their voting record. And don't just check their voting record. Ask them what conservative bills they've carried. Because if they're going down there and they're in a safe district, and the only thing they carry is, oh, a bill for a road, or a bill for a grant for this career technical education center, or all they do is they, they deal with some sort of what we call home cooking, which is some bill that impacts the locality but doesn't do anything else. If that's all they're doing, that might be good. That might be good work. They may be doing some good stuff that needs to be done. But you need to ask, why aren't you carrying the other stuff? Why aren't you co-patroning it or co-sponsoring it? Why aren't you getting up and, and helping with this? Why aren't you talk, why is it that when it's campaign season, you talk about this stuff, but when it's legislating season, I, I don't see you anywhere around these topics, right? You got to ask those questions. And if they don't give you good answers, then you need to start asking yourself, do we need to change out this person in a safe district with somebody that is actually going to do those things? Um, so those are all the reasons why I, I left elected office.

But the number one reason why is, is Tina and I really sat down and prayed about it. And I remember, I, I remember feeling these frustrations at the same time that we were doing other work that was having a huge impact. And it was like, okay, why, why am I going to continue in a, in a, in a position where I don't feel like I'm getting much done, um, when I could focus on another area where I feel like I am getting a lot of things done. And then I started looking around. It's like, okay, well, is there anybody that could replace me in the job that I'm currently doing that I think would do an excellent job? And it was like, you know, there, there is. It was like, okay, well, if we feel like God's calling us into this area where things are going, you know, where, where we're actually having an impact, and we know someone else that we think can have a positive impact in this other area in elected office, well, then why would we stay there? And that's kind of a bizarre question for people, because a lot of people have the attitude, well, if I can continue to win the seat, of course, I should stay, because then I'll gain seniority and experience and all these other things, and then I'll be able to get more stuff done. But in reality, what a lot of, a lot of the reason why those people in safe red districts don't take on the controversial issues is because they're hedging their bets. They know that their party is not always going to be in charge. And if they're the ones that are not irritating the Democrats, well, then maybe they don't get all the stuff they want, but they'll get their budget amendment passed. And so they wink, wink, nod, nod. I'm not like those other guys that, that give the floor speeches and come after you. No, I'm a good guy. I'm, I'm the guy you can have a drink with, and you can pass my little bills over here, because I'm not making you mad. And that's what they're doing. And, and for them, they're like, oh, see, I'm serving my constituents because I'm able to get stuff done regardless. It's like, well, yeah, but you get little stuff done at the expense of all the big stuff. And after a while, you don't get any of it done, because now they have the sort of power that they do in a place like Virginia, and they don't got to give you the time of day, right? And that's what's happening. That's what's happening. People compromise too much with the guys that only put up with them when they don't have enough power to crush them. And now that they have enough power to crush them, they're realizing, "Oh, I, I don't get my stuff." No, you don't get your stuff. You don't get your stuff because they don't need you anymore. And, and instead of supporting the people on your own team that would have had your back during these times, you decided to hedge your bets with the other side of the aisle, and now they don't need you, and now you're getting crushed, and you kind of deserve it. And you kind of deserve it.

So we did. So I, I, I decided, okay, I got, you know, we feel like we're being led in a different direction. And we found somebody that was a great replacement, Karen Hamilton, and she, she has not disappointed in the least. She's been doing an excellent job. And, and I'm not even the least bit shocked that she's doing an excellent job. And there's also great guys down in the, like in the Virginia General Assembly, Phil Scott, um, Eric Zur, uh, I mean, Tim Griffin, Tom Garrett, uh, we, there, there's more. There's others, but we got some great guys down there that are doing some really good work. Um, so why am I, why am I optimistic?

And the reason why I'm optimistic is because the stuff that was, did seem to be, uh, yielding fruit was, every time I would go in an airport to go fly to speak somewhere, or to go talk to a conference, or whatever it was, I'd have someone stop me in the airport. And they didn't say, more often than not, they didn't say, "Hey, thank you for that bill you carried, or thank you for that floor speech you gave." They would say, "Hey, thank you for that, that video that you did on raising daughters. Um, I just had my first little girl, and I've watched it three times, and it, and it's really helped me." And, you know, or, or thank you for that, that conversation that you had, that, that discussion you had on marriage. Uh, it's really helped me work something through. Or having, uh, having a college student coming up and go, you know, my dad started watching your videos, and now he's working really hard, um, he's working really hard on being a husband and being a father, and it's, it's really impacted our family. Um, those ones, kind of, as a, as a dad, those ones, those ones get you. Or someone that says, "Hey, thank you. I'm, um, I've actually opened up my Bible and I'm really leaning into my faith in a way I never have before." Or, "You brought me to the faith." I'm like, "You can't give me a better compliment than that." And so that's the stuff that gives me hope.

Because a couple of times now, uh, I've been invited to go speak at college campuses. And I've been invited by Young America's Foundation. I've been invited by Turning Point USA. I was just at a, a Turning Point USA event in Virginia Tech earlier today. Uh, I was one at, at University of Virginia, not, not long ago, about to do another one in Buffalo, New York, another one in, in Minnesota. And, um, it always shocks. I, I get the questions you would expect, a lot of times. You know, we were asking, they're asking questions about ICE and immigration policy, and they were asking questions about tax policy, and, and I expected those. I expect those in a political environment. I did not expect the number of questions that I have been getting about being a good man, being a good husband, being a good father, being a good wife. Um, a lot of questions about faith, a lot of questions about family. And that's what's made me the most optimistic. Because I'm watching, I'm watching a younger generation, um, a lot of young men, but also young women, ask me the questions about the things which are most fundamental and important in their life, and the things for which they have the most control over in their life. And the reason why that's so encouraging is because if, if you think about what a representative republic is, it, it is, it is we use democratic processes. We're not a democracy, but we use democratic processes in order to select representatives, in order to select leaders, uh, to carry legislation, to enforce laws, to do all these things. And a lot of times we get so focused in on who those people are, because that's, it's a very important question. It's obviously a good one.

I'll tell you another thing I'm encouraged about, and that is American Financing. Because ladies and gentlemen, let's face it, there is a lot of people out there that have steady jobs, that have worked very, very hard their entire lives, and yet they still can't get out from underneath high-interest debt. There's a lot of people during COVID where all of a sudden you're not allowed to go to work because the government wouldn't let you, or your business just got crushed as a result. There were families that were living on credit cards, not because they wanted to, not because they were being frivolous, but because they were just trying to make ends meet and not get kicked out of their house. And now they have this looming high-interest debt that they can't get rid of. And that is where American Financing comes into play, because they have plans to help you with that. In fact, many customers of American Financing are saving about $800 a month on average. And that is a huge difference for most households. Because when you can consolidate that high-interest debt into a much, much lower one, not only are you saving money right now, right, but it's also saving you money long-term, right? So, if you want to learn more about this, here's the other good news, right? These guys aren't working on the sort of commissions where they're just desperately trying to get you to sign up for anything. No, they want to help. They want to learn about what you've got, what your unique plans are, what your unique issues are, and they want to be able to help you come up with a solution to it. So, go over and call right now. That's 866-886-2026. Once again, that's 866-886-2026. Or visit americanfinancing.net/ET/MTA. That's americanfinancing.net/mta to see how much you could save and possibly delay your next two mortgage payments. Again, that's 866-886-2026. Doesn't cost you anything to give them a call. But listen, don't, don't be continuing to worry about making the next payments on a high-interest loan when you can consolidate that. Go call American Financing. I have, I have worked with these guys before, and I have nothing but good things to say about them. Go call them up.

But we don't ask enough questions about, how do you get those people? How do you get those people in the first place? Because the, the pe, the same people running around going, "Ah, politicians are all the same." One, that's not true. Uh, and two, they aren't asking the question, "Well, then how do you get better ones?" They're like, "Well, the, the system's rigged. It's, it's, it's, it's designed to create a certain." That may all be true, but how do you change that? Like, do you love the founders? Oh, I love the founders. The founders are great. Okay. Well, how do you get them? And, and what these young students are asking is basically, how do I become the sort of man that attracts, how, how do I become a sort of godly man that attracts the kind of godly woman that will allow us to raise godly children? And it's like, asking those questions is how you get both better voters and better elected officials, because they're focused on the fundamental questions about how do you get to truth and, and how do you get to objective morality? Because once you believe that the truth is the truth, it's not your perspective. It's not your truth versus my truth. It's not your morality versus my morality. It's the idea that, no, there is objective truth, and there are things that are either good or evil in this world. When you have people that actually have that kind of commitment, and they have something they can reference as a source beyond themselves, not just their own preferences, those are the sort of people that you get that are willing to think about things logically, but to understand that there, there are boundaries with respect to what their power is. They're, they're not to serve an elected office in order to reward all their buddies with the things that they want, or their voters. They're there to serve a purpose. And sometimes that purpose means saying no a lot, because it's not a legitimate function of government, because we're not going to render unto Caesar that which is God's. Those are the important questions they're asking.

And, and to give you an idea of what I typically tell them, if it's a, if it's a young man asking me, "How do I, how do I find a wife and how do I get married?" I, I always basically tell them the same thing. I said, "Look, the first thing that you got to do is you, you've got to look at your own life and look, take a, take a hard analysis of yourself on what can you improve as, as far as yourself spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, physically, professionally, right? Because those, those categories are going to play out. Like spiritually, it's like your relationship with God. Like what do you believe about God? Can you actually defend your faith? Do you know what it actually says? Not what people in Hollywood or whatnot tell you about it, or do you know what it actually says and why? Do you know what the context was? You know what the cultural context was? Right? Do you understand these things? Do you understand what scripture says about who you are and where you should get your identity? Because that isn't politics. That isn't your political party. Right? Do you understand that? And then on the emotional side, do you have control? Do you have good self-control? It was funny. I, it's funny. I'm talking about this now because earlier today, there was one instance where I was just frustrated. I did not have the best self-control, right? But the, the point was, is I recognize that I'm not making excuses for why I was frustrated. I did. It was like, "No, I should have handled that better." Right? The, the emotional maturity of being able to let your emotions inform your actions without directing them is really important. The intellectual. I tell all these guys like, "Look, if you're not out there constantly improving your mind through reading, through listening, through discussions, through talking, through, through contemplating important ideas, well then how are you going to be the sort of person that your wife can trust to guide? And how can you be the sort of person that your kids can trust to give you sound wis, to give them sound advice and wisdom?" And then, and then on the, the physical, I always tell the guys like, "Guys, you need to stay in shape, man. If you want to be able to protect, if you want to be able to provide, you need to stay in shape. Get to the gym because you can control that, right? That's not something you got to ask permission for. That's not something you got to wait for the next, you know, school board meeting or the next election on. You can just go get in shape. You don't, you don't got to ask permission to do any of the things I'm telling you to do. You can just go do it right now. Go get in shape. And I always tell men, men need a violent hobby. It could be shooting, it could be hunting, it could be jiu-jitsu, it could be boxing, whatever it is. Men need a violent hobby because we are instructed to protect, right? So, do that. And then finally, the professional. I'm always telling the guys, hey, you need to develop marketable skill sets. There's a lot of people out there chasing credentials, right? They take out $100,000 in college loans to go get a degree that empowers them to do nothing except get a job interview, right? They get the interview, and then the, the firm decides that, oh, this person's just an activist. Or, or they get the job even, and then it's like, oh, well, this person isn't competent. They don't have capabilities. They just had a credential, right? They paid their money, they went to class, they got the credential, and now they're here, and they're good for nothing. So I always tell men like, make sure you're focusing on professional attributes. So that's your work ethic, your character, your trustworthiness, and then combine that with capabilities, marketable capabilities. You can actually do stuff, right? If it's practice law, it's practice law, right? If it's practice medicine, it's practice medicine. If it's welding, it's welding. But you can actually do something where you can deliver on the promise you make when you get hired. Or if you own the business, you can deliver on the promise you make to your customers. Those are capabilities. Credentials are nice, but if, if a credential does not equal capabilities, it's ultimately worthless. It'll get you the interview. It might even get you the job, but it'll never sustain it. So, I say, "Guys, focus on these things."

And then the very next thing you do is you put yourself into the environment where you're likely to meet the sort of woman that you would want to marry. And the sort of woman you're going to want to marry is a sort of woman that also has a commitment to God, because both of you want to be able to appeal to something beyond yourselves, right? But then there's also developing herself along those same categories, emotionally, intellectually, physically, and professionally. So that's what I tell these, these guys. And, uh, and it seems they, they seem to, they seem to enjoy that answer, in part because it gives them something they can work on again, without having to ask permission of anyone else. They don't got to wait for the next election cycle to achieve those things. And, and the reason why I think that's both, uh, it gives me hope, but it's also very important, is because the thing that really, one of the things that really made America unique throughout most of its history, less so now, um, but I'm hoping we can get back to it, is this idea that our government is not the most important thing about our country. Who, who serves in office is not the most important thing about our country. Uh, the values that our, our country believes in, and the freedoms and opportunity it provides for you to go out and make a life that is truly yours, is what makes it unique. You can, you can have all the elections that you want. You can have all the legislation that you want, but if you don't have Americans that believe that they're the ones that are supposed to be in control of their daily life, I think we fundamentally lose what it means to be an American. And then I don't know what we become, but it's not the kind of rugged individualism combined with a strong sense of faith, family, and community that we were built upon. And that's what I want to see these guys fighting for. Um, I want them to be aware of what's going on politically. I want them to be engaged without being obsessed. Because I've seen it on the right where people become so obsessed with politics that they neglect their family, and then they get more and more frustrated when politics doesn't provide them the things that they want. And then what they do is they make an idol and an identity out of politics, out of their engagement, out of their position. And when it doesn't yield the results, or it doesn't fill the gap of what they're looking for, they're crushed. And then they get incredibly cynical and jaded. And so the fact that so many young people between the ages of 18 to 25 are asking me questions about, how do I honor God? How do I become a better man or woman? How do I become a better husband or wife? How do I become a better mother or father? That tells me that for the first time in a long time, we have a critical mass of a young generation asking those questions, as opposed to just, how do I get a job in politics? Or how do I get into the right law school? Or how do I get into the right college? Um, that should give all of us hope. Those are the right questions. We need more people in that space giving the right answers. I feel very blessed that I'm starting to see more and more guys like that. Whether it's guys like John Lovell with Warrior Poet Society, whether it's guys like Josh Mc Pastor Josh McFersonson, Pastor Josh Howton, um, there are more guys stepping into that space and is stepping into the church space that are demanding that the church and that men in the church actually rise up and take their rightful place and actually provide the sort of examples that young men need. There's more women that are stepping up there, too. Whether it's Allie Beth Stuckey, whether it's Alyssa Childers, whether it's Laya Rose, um, I think of my own wife Tina, now she's into this space too. We're, we're about to do a talk in Santa Barbara where I'm talking about biblical masculinity, and she's talking about biblical femininity. These are the, these are the things that I think we need to be spending more of our time on and less on politics. Uh, I know on the podcast we speak a lot about politics because, hey, it's in the news cycle, and these are important issues, and, and I try to, I try to give a perspective both from as a, as a combat veteran, as a former legislator, and as a, as a Christian husband and father. How do I view these things, and how do I try to lay out a consistent, intellectually consistent, and honest argument for things that are going on, and why I think some things are good and some things are bad. That's important. We'll continue to do it. But just like the majority of my questions are starting to go more into this realm, I want to talk about these things more as well, because I, I don't want the only resource for people looking for this to be when I go and speak. I also want it to be on the channel that we have. So if you see more of that content, that's why, that's why. And, and it's, it's not out of the norm of what we've done before here in the past. We have, um, but I don't want it to shock anybody when we start to dig into those questions a little bit more coming up. And we've also got more videos coming out on our, what we call our mainline, or if you look at the Be A Man, uh, feature where we talk about more about family, about parenting, about those things. Um, but yeah, I just, I just, it's been a, uh, it's been a long, it's been a long few days, uh, where a lot of the fights I've been having online with people have been people that I've always kind of considered to be allies. And, and I don't see why we can't continue to be allies. But the big question that I'm asking of a lot of people on the right is, what is it that you really want? Because I'm starting to think that what we had in common were enemies, um, but not objectives. And, and the first thing, the first thing that has to be decided on is, what is your source of truth and morality? Because if you don't have a, if you don't have a concrete source of truth and morality, and then standards by which you analyze these things, well, then you can compromise all day long without compromising, because you didn't have a fixed place that you could return to and be held accountable by. And I've been held accountable at times where I thought I had done the right thing, or I thought I'd come to the right conclusion, and I, I ended up being wrong. I ended up being wrong. And, and you've got to be able to own up and admit those things. But I'm watching more and more people use a line of reasoning that bears no resemblance to who I thought they were. Um, and unfortunately, that's going to cause more conflict on the right. And like I said, it's coming at a time where we can't really afford it. Uh, but I think the solution to that is to not to not be so obsessed with all, everything that's going on right now. We have to be engaged with it, but not obsessed. Uh, if, if, if we're going to, if we're going to approach obsession with anything, let's approach it with again, what, what I like to say, I think is the key to everything, and that's men and women becoming godly men and women, so they can become godly husbands and wives, so they can become godly mothers and fathers, and then raise up their kids to do the same thing. Because as I've said before, you show me a nation full of those people, and I'll show you a nation whose politics you probably don't have to worry too much about.

Once again, thank you very much for joining us. Really appreciate it. If anything we say here you think is useful or beneficial, please like, subscribe. Also, let us know what you'd like to see more of in the comments. Once again, thank you for joining us. I'll see you next time.