Transcription
My name is Diana Lopez and this is Medusa's Awakening Podcast.
Trigger warning. This episode might address sensitive subjects that may be distressing for some listeners. Topics discussed include violence, sexual violence, childhood abuse, mental health issues, and substance abuse. Please be mindful of your own well-being while listening. If you find these topics triggering or difficult, seek support from a mental health professional or a trusted individual. We thank you for listening.
Hello everyone and welcome back for another episode of the Medusa's Awakening podcast. I know I have not recorded in quite some time because, well, honestly, I've been busy, okay? So leave me alone. Um, I did some traveling. I've been working on my nonprofit um campaign that I'm, you know, striving to do. And uh, honestly, um, your girl was able to get a couple of interviews on the local uh news station. So that was um, talking about sweating through my clothes um on air, that was quite the um ordeal for me because I don't like cameras for somebody who's doing a podcast that's being recorded on video. Um, anyway, so, so who I have here with me today is Sam Taylor, all the way from across the pond in the UK. Sam Taylor is founder of Dopilo Village and Finally Free CIC. This is a community of women helping each other and a domestic violence village where women heal from domestic abuse. Welcome, Sam, to my podcast and thank you so much for doing this with me today.
>> Thank you for having me.
Now, Sam, um, as we were talking, like, this is such an amazing, amazing effort that you're putting forth over there and, you know, I want the listeners to understand like, what led you to creating such a great um system that you want to set up for women.
>> Basically, my own domestic violence um. I've been married to the nice guy. Uh, I settled for the nice guy, and that nice guy really wasn't that nice. Um, he became uh, abusive practically within 3 months of getting married and moving in together. Um, but I didn't quite realize it was domestic violence or or domestic abuse at that point. Uh, cuz it still wasn't really spoken about that much. Even, you know, 7 years ago, it wasn't really spoken about that much. And I had no idea what was happening. I just thought it was normal. Um, because everybody, every man spoke to their wives that way. So, you know. And then um, I got pregnant around 4 years later, and that's when the hell really started. Um, there was no help. Nobody cared what he was doing. We were um, he was in the army. So, I was a military wife.
>> And as a military wife, uh, you're practically forgotten. Um, whatever rules might apply to the civilian world, definitely do not apply to the military world. Uh, domestic violence is so normal in the military world that nobody cares. Um, so then I opened Dopaw Village and at first, it was the aim to make money so I could leave with my children. Um, because he just got more and more violent. Um, and yeah. So, when I then realized that nobody was helping anybody and I wasn't just the only woman going through this, I decided that I wanted to open domestic violence shelters so that women, children, and their pets can flee without any red tape. Um, so, yeah, that's basically how I came up with the idea.
>> That's beautiful because you're absolutely right. You know, it is, you know, even here in the US, you know, there are obviously shelters throughout, but uh, my biggest gripe is the when people go find, try to find funding for this, as you well know, can be very, very difficult. And when they do, it's always just enough for what they have now. It's never enough to grow. And so whenever we're going around trying to help women either escape a situation or try to find help, it's always met with, "There's no room. There's no room. There's no room." um, or they're only invited in for a period of time, and then after that, and the period of time is not like, "Oh, let's give you a year to get on your feet, find you either the proper education you want or need, the, and then the job that you want or need, and then the housing that goes with it, right?" It, it is um, just to be able to escape in that moment, and then after a certain amount of time, it's like, "Okay, well, that's it. That's all we can give you." And then, and then where do you go from there? You know?
>> That's basically the same in the UK. So, I've had a lot of reports from you guys in America where it's been maybe six, nine days. Like, that's it. It's literally days um with you guys, which isn't really surprising um, because, you know, it's America.
>> Yeah.
>> But in um, in England, the minimum time is uh, 6 weeks. We do. So, with my shelters, um, there's going to be no time limits. There's going to be no red tape. So, when I was wanting to flee, um, I was told that I can't take my pets and that there's no space for my children, and I would have to give my children up into foster care. So, of course, that was never going to happen. So, that's why I want to open a shelter where there is no time limit because in what the hell are you going to do in six weeks? Absolutely nothing. um, especially not how um, the housing market is because it's just as crap over here as it is over there with you guys.
>> Yeah.
>> Um, and I wanted people to be able to protect their pets because they're their pets, and for some people, the pets are just as important as the children.
>> Absolutely.
>> And one, and I have a dog and three cats. So, there was absolutely nowhere for me to go. Um, in, even as far as I'm aware, there are no other shelters that allow pets. Um, maybe a cat if you're lucky, but definitely no dogs. And um, the, there are various charities that will allow you to give them your pet until you're back on your feet. But that also comes with red tape. They can't see the pets. They don't get updated. These people might not see their their pets for two, three years. Um, I've had people say that the pet died in foster care or um, they were abusive to their pets, and all that kind of stuff. So, if we just have the pets with the women and their children, all of that stops. The, the animals are looked after. It helps the family that's that has fled because it is going to be difficult. Cuz the shelters can be as perfectly run as possible. It could be literally >> a heaven on earth, >> but they're still fleeing domestic violence. We still need to make, there's still going to be trauma, still going to be a lot of heartache. They're losing absolutely everything. They're losing their entire lives >> because of a freaking man, >> right? Um, it is so, just make it as easy as possible. Um, and yeah, and just, and just help the women and their children and their pets.
>> Yeah.
>> Their lives. If that takes, you know, 6 months or 3 years, it doesn't, it makes no difference. We will help them from start to finish.
>> Yeah. That's a, I mean, that's going to be such amazing and beautiful work um for everybody because the more that you can say, "Look, we have a village supporting all of you that need this, you know, that need the help," because the one thing that I cannot stand is the people that have never gone through this to say, "Why doesn't she just leave?"
>> Oh, I hear that.
>> That's all, that's all they have to do is just get up and leave. Like, it is the number one most dangerous situation is leaving. And it, it is even the most dangerous situation for law enforcement to arrive on scene is domestic abuse.
>> Yes. Because how many times does it end in a violent, especially here where people are just, you know, happy-go-lucky shooting everybody. Yeah. Shooting each other for fun. And so the woman is just, "Just leave." That's all they have to do. Just get.
>> Also, how often have women called the cops and then they, and then they were raped by cops or abused by cops or even shot by cops? You know what I mean? So, it's, we can't really trust cops anyway. Um, especially in England, there's over a thousand. There's currently over a thousand police officers being investigated for domestic violence and rape. So that's over a thousand cops. So when I, so when when my ex-husband um, strangled me and threw me on the floor and battered the crap out of me, >> the cops came. >> And I said to him, "What are you going to do? Or am I just going to be another statistic?" And he goes, "Yeah, pretty much."
>> So, I was not helped. I was giving no help. He, my ex-husband likes to play the victim and, you know, the usual crying and I'm, "Oh, please, my head," and yeah, winds me up. Um, he was taken, he was taken to hospital for psychiatric help because that's what these abusive do is they, they pretend to be mentally ill and then they get sectioned and then they don't get charged. Nothing happens to them. So,
>> And then welcome back into the home, you know, like they could just.
>> Basically.
>> Just walk right back into the home and do it all over again.
>> I left my husband in before my son was born. I left him in November of 2021.
>> Congratulations.
>> That, that was great. That really was great. But it took me four years to get rid of him.
>> Mhm.
>> That's the thing. It's not like, "Okay, so I'm just going to remove myself from this situation and that's it." He's just going to give up. Like, oftentimes they do not. Because how many reports in the news, especially here in the United States, where it is an ex who gunned down a woman, shot her 20 times, and then ran her over. That was just the other day.
>> It, it's not, that's not that doesn't end it for them. That's why the refuge is needed. So important because what people don't talk about at all is post-separation abuse.
>> And for me personally, that has been worse than the abuse in the marriage because we're not together anymore. I have to co-parent with you because we have children together. H, but his version of co-parenting is to still try and abuse me whatever way he possibly can. A lot of gaslighting and all, you know, a lot of canceling visitation with his children because I've got something going on, kind of thing, and that's what he does quite, quite regularly. Um, but yeah, um, leaving is the most dangerous time ever. So, that's why when the women, when we eventually open and we can eventually take women, it's, it's not going to be so difficult with 50,000 forms. It's going to be either a phone call where we do a risk assessment over the phone.
>> Mhm.
>> They get picked up by um, our security staff. Uh, we, we will have links with the police. So, the police can attend if needed um, to arrest because over in England here, it is illegal. Domestic violence is illegal. So, realistically, they can get arrested. Um, but, you know, so should they turn back up from work or whatever may not else um, the women are protected. And then it, it pretty much goes from leaving the house to put the biggest wedge between these two people as possible. So, one thing that women really struggle with is all the paperwork.
>> Absolutely.
>> It's so much paperwork to make sure that these men aren't allowed to go anywhere near women and their children. It's absolutely insane. We have something what's called a non-molestation order, which is basically where um, the parent can't be near the children or the mother, for example.
>> Um, it's like a restraining order, the paper it's written on.
>> Um, but that alone, that.
>> Just like a restraining order.
>> Yeah.
>> Um, that paperwork alone is 40 pages.
>> Insane. Yeah. And it's constantly repeating itself, trying to trip you up.
>> You up almost like, but you said this here and then, but on page.
>> Exactly.
>> 27.
>> Yeah. And I have written so many non-molestation orders for other women because they just can't cope with the amount of paperwork. And I'm just like, "Are you? No wonder women aren't filing these because it's so stressful. They are traumatized. Most women nowadays have ADHD and autism. They are, we are all undiagnosed, right?"
>> Because why diagnose women, right? Because if we knew what was wrong with us, or not wrong with us, but if we, if we know how our brain works, we can actually navigate the world easier. So, that that's not to do, right?
>> Keep us oppressed every way, shape, or form. Uh, but.
>> Yeah.
>> But also, uh, we don't, we, we do have legal aid here so that we can get a lawyer and stuff in like pro bono, and all that kind of stuff. You don't get, you, you don't get the same defense. Uh, they put minimum effort into the cases and um, it's just, you still have to do a lot of paperwork yourself. So, with with our um, charity or CIC, we're going to have lawyers working for us that's going to do absolutely everything for these women. File for divorce, file for non-molestation orders, file for absolutely everything. And then so she can then just heal. She doesn't have to deal with any of that kind of stuff. Um, she doesn't even have to go to court. It can all be done via a video link. And just helping women navigate the complexity that is domestic abuse and domestic violence because they are both two different things. Violence, obviously, you know, they batter you and hurt you physically. Abuse is all mentally and psych, and psychological.
>> And financial, right? Because.
>> Oh my god. My ex-husband's cost me around 60 grand.
>> Yeah. And how often is it that it's the men are able to, most of the time, be able to go and hire that lawyer, whereas the women are left with not a penny and then they're having to depend on.
>> Somebody from legal aid, which is awesome that you get the free service, but it's not going to be compared to that person that you pay for. Right.
>> Yeah. And not everybody gets it. There's still red tape. So, so legal aid was abolished in 2012, and uh, only criminals can get legal aid, and then in, in criminals are normally men. So, of course, they need to get legal aid. Domestic violence is usually women. Of course, they get very little legal aid, and that comes with red tape. So, I was helping a woman. I was helping a woman back in January. Horrendous, horrendous, horrendous, horrendous man. That man is one day is going to be in the news for killing a woman. I can absolutely guarantee it. Um, she bought a house, she had everything. She was the one with money before him.
>> He was obviously in the army as well. Um, he was with the Welsh Guards um with the Royal Welsh in in Wales. Horrendous, horrific man. Took all of her money. The house that he was living in, he basically destroyed. And then after he destroyed her uh and taken absolutely every penny that woman has got, he moved on to the next rich one. Luckily, I managed to stop that. I managed to stop that relationship within like 3 months because I found her. I messaged her, and they ended like.
>> And she's a millionaire. And she was a millionaire. So, and he was already, they would get together like 3, 4 months, and she was already, he was already trying to move into the house. So, in England, if you, if a man moves into a house or sets up residency because he's there 5 days a week, right?
>> He lives there. So he's entitled to some of that house and some of that money and all that kind of stuff. That man is extremely clever. But anyway, so, but she owns the house, and because she owns the house, uh, she doesn't get legal aid, but she can't work because she's got three severely disabled children. You guys would call it a level three.
>> Autism.
>> Uh, we don't do it by levels here. um, and he would be a level three. So, they are all really severe. Severe enough that realistically they would have to be in a care facility. So, um, this, she's extremely struggling, really, really, she was very much struggling, and she can't get legal aid because she owns the house. Uh, but the house is so bad. It's in so, it's so bad um that it can't be sold because it's so bad. So,
>> She's in this catch-22. And so many women have this catch-22 where they have assets, but she can't sell it because it's too bad. Or if she does sell it, then he will take half of it because he only paid one year's mortgage out of 20, and now he thinks that he owns it all. So, uh, yeah, there's just too much red tape for domestic violence and and domestic abuse in general when it comes to women. Um, men tend to get, men, even though the myth is that men don't get any help, men do get help. They tend to get a little bit more when when they actually ask for it. And that's the problem, and how they just don't ask for help.
>> Whereas we do ask for help, and then we're met with, "Yeah, but not all men."
>> Um, yeah. Exactly.
>> Right. But I just don't want.
>> I don't want that to happen. It's, there's, there's no need for it to happen. We have an excellent team of volunteers. Um, I'm speaking to various councils um, within my region and across the UK, and they are all up for it. It's literally just opening the first shelter, getting the first outcomes, and then everybody else wants to adopt my system too because the current system just isn't working.
>> So, what is the current system um, currently where you are?
>> [ __ ] Yeah.
>> Honestly, it is just [ __ ]. Um, so for my cursing Americans, it's quite normal in England.
>> Um, but no, it's it's crap. Um, you can only go to the council, or you can go to independent ones. If you're lucky, you'll get six weeks. There are some that have longer period time, but not very much of them.
>> The government.
>> Do you have a lot of shelters? Is there access? Government spends 49 million pounds a year on domestic violence shelters.
>> We do have them. They are there. But the problem is that.
>> It's a scam. So, what people need to understand is that domestic violence is a business. So, um, there's a huge difference between a charity and a CIC. So, that's, and the reason why I'm a CIC is because I don't want the government telling me how I can run my shelters.
>> But with that comes, I don't get tax.
>> I have to pay tax on funding. I have to pay tax on absolutely everything. I don't get tax breaks.
>> And I have to put 65% back into the business, which obviously, that's the entire point. 100% is going back.
>> That's the point. Yeah. Right.
>> So, but with a charity, they get government funding and they get all these tax rebates, and they have all these really high CO wages, and it's, it's one loophole in, in between another loophole. But.
>> They do all of that because it's a business. It's to, they're not doing it because they are kind-hearted people. Some of them, of course, they are, but the majority of them just couldn't give a crap. To them, it's just money and looking good and, you know, all that kind of stuff. So, but.
>> There's definitely out there. Yeah, for sure.
>> You know, they are going to be some small independent shelters that obviously like care and, you know, they pull their hair out just like I do every single day. But the majority of them, we have.
>> Women's Aid, which is practically the UK-wide um, and.
>> And we have uh, Refuge. That's the, those are the two main ones.
>> Oh, okay.
>> Good luck calling them. You won't get any help. I called them for four years once a week.
>> Oh my gosh.
>> Yeah. And nothing. I just kept being uh, signposted to here, signposted to there. I obviously, I called for other people as well as, as well as for myself.
>> I have probably called them.
>> Over 300 times in the last four years, and not one person got help. That's.
>> Yeah. And that charity gets a minimum of £35 million from the government. That's not including all the other money that they get.
>> And, and what do their, what does that look like? Like, what is it, a huge facility where, or.
>> No, they have basic shelters like I would have. So, they, they have, you know, normal shelters where there's anything between 10 and 50 women living there, and they're practically left to their own devices. If they're lucky, they have therapy, but that's pretty much it.
>> So, it sounds like a lot of lining of the pockets.
>> Maybe much lining of the pockets. So, how it works is um, I open a shelter, I give my costs to the council, and the council says yes or no. Um, and that's basically what um, everybody else has to do as well. So, the councils pay for the, for the refuge. Everything else that comes in should be paying for everything else. So, it's maybe confusing to me why all these charities are getting all these millions of money, but nothing is actually happening because the c because the council are paying for the, for the shelter. So, where's all this money going? This money can pay for clothing and, you know, all that kind of stuff. So, it's very confusing to me. I have spoken to a few shelters, of course, um, that don't get no funding. It's all literally done by donations because they offer too much for the council to pay for.
>> Oh, wow. Yeah.
>> Yeah. So, yeah, it's not, it's, it's a no matter in what country you are,
>> Charities.
>> And that's what people need to understand. It's a business, and these, these people make a [ __ ] ton of money.
>> Um, on, on it, and to them, domestic violence is a business.
>> Yeah. Which is, I mean, it's just so horrible because it is already hard enough for women to finally make that decision to go and, and to make that decision to go means being able to safety plan.
>> Being able to identify like, it, and it's baby steps because when I first started my volunteer work at the Asian Women's Shelter, you know, it was, you have to go through like 40 hours of training. And, you know, um, and then doing additional training on your own time too, you know, just so you can make sure that you are up to date on whatever the new thing is, right? Like, whatever is going to be most helpful in today um, day and age. And it's already women, I think on average takes them about seven times, right? So that, or seven phone calls, right? Into.
>> And, and if you call the first time, right? If you are on your first of however many times it takes you call, and you get stonewalled, or you get the sense of there is no help already, and then, and then what does that do for her? And what does that do for.
>> You know, and especially if she has children, and especially if she has animals.
>> Yeah. Just, and the entire system just doesn't work. And we need to stop looking at the government for help because the government just doesn't care. Um, they spend £49 million a year on shelters alone, yet we don't have enough shelter space. I currently have a waiting list of over 3,000 women.
>> Who currently want a shelter space. So, if the government actually cared about women and their safety, we wouldn't need these shelters to begin with.
>> Exactly.
>> I would like if, if, if the government said tomorrow, you know, well, we're actually going to take this serious now.
>> We wouldn't need shelters because all these men would just go straight to jail.
>> Right? And I know.
>> I don't understand why that's not the case because you, as, as everything, even, even here too, prison is a business.
>> Yeah.
>> So, why aren't you putting these men in.
>> For profit.
>> Right? Put these p, put these men into prison. They can do all the crappy jobs nobody else wants to do,
>> You know, and then pay them [ __ ] one penny an hour because that's all they [ __ ] deserve anyway. And all these violent men at the same time get education and have to, you know, be deprogrammed from their red pillness.
>> Exactly.
>> Society would be a better place.
>> Yeah. That's what my biggest thing is is, you know, especially with the, the trafficking, like the buyers, right? Um, where is the education for rehabilitation? It's just kind of like that for now. For example, you had that show called Adolescence out of your neck of the woods. And I think that after that show, I saw reports that they're considering doing like anti-misogyny classes for doing it.
>> They're see, they're already implementing it. And here I'm just like.
>> We need that here because.
>> It's needed everywhere, first of all, because you have way too many bad men who have.
>> Social media, who have platforms that are being followed by these young boys, and their word is gold, and that is who they're striving to be, that, that male dominance. So, how do we, if, if jail isn't the answer to get them to stop, then where's the education? You know, the, where's the education that needs to happen? And that's where we also come, come in because we are, uh, I have written, or it's been written as we speak, um, an education program, and we are going to be educating um, schools in the UK. We're going to do it like assembly style and all that kind of stuff.
>> Yeah.
>> And we're going to start from um, here, it would be like year five. So, as they go into secondary school, so they'll be like 10 years old because the youngest rapist is nine.
>> Yeah.
>> So, that's, there are a lot of child predators.
>> Yeah. Here too. Yeah. On my um, on my TikTok, I have teenagers speaking to me like I was, like I'm just nothing because I'm a woman. I'm like, "Where has, where has society gone wrong so badly?" And why is it our generation that's fixing it?
>> I know. We're trying. Right.
>> Yeah.
>> Right. And then we get the pushback from all the boomers. I'm just like.
>> I know.
>> Shut up. Just honestly, shut up. The reason this world is like this is because of you guys.
>> It's because of y'all. Yeah. Yeah.
>> So, see you later. You're old enough already now. It's time that you depart.
>> Push away. Apart. Continue living on this planet. Shut the [ __ ] up. Let us take over and let us fix your mistakes because I'm, I'm honestly sick. I'm, I'm just sick to death of this "boys will be boys" crap. Um, it doesn't work because "boys will be boys" does not mean beating up your wife or abusing your children. No need excuse.
>> Trafficking children, like, you know, all this, like, America is number one trafficking hub of the world.
>> Yeah.
>> And, you know, and no matter where you are in the world um, no matter where the stats are, men are always on the leaderboard when it comes.
>> And this is, and this is what is going to prompt change is we need our young ones, our young female queens out there. Honestly, I have.
>> Look into being. We, we need to take over the government, is what needs to happen.
>> I think we are though.
>> I think we are though because women left, right, and center are speaking up. I have an amazing team of uni students, female uni students. They are all between 18 and 21, and those girls have fire in their stomach that I have never seen. Um.
>> That's beautiful. And if you look at like all these young artists, the songs that they're coming out with.
>> Yeah.
>> They, they are, they are on freaking point. Like.
>> Yeah.
>> Be Miller has an amazing song. Um, I won't say it because there's a lot of swearing in it, but.
>> Yeah.
>> That woman's absolutely on point. Um, so I think we are turning into a, a matriarchy, and that's why men are kicking off because they no longer. I think men are scared that we're going to treat them the same as they have treated us for 3,000 years.
>> And rather than just realizing, if we are in charge, then everything will come become better, including your life and your loneliness epidemic, which.
>> Right.
>> It's just a consequence epidemic in my eyes because women are evolving. We're now are becoming smarter and wiser. Well, not becoming, we always have been. Um, but because we're not, we are no longer as oppressed as we were 75 years ago. Um, things are becoming posit, everything good that has ever happened, it wasn't because of a man.
>> Right.
>> And that's what men need to start understanding. It's.
>> Right.
>> We are. Every country is practically going into World War II. We are, we are literally that this close and having a World War II again. So, and that's because of men. Every war ever starts because of men. Every rape statistic is because of men. Every, every everything negative is because of men.
>> So, if men just stop being [ __ ] snowflakes, just got over themselves.
>> Yeah.
>> Just realize, maybe, maybe we aren't the actual leaders because who are they protecting.
>> Themselves.
>> Yeah. I mean.
>> And there's so many time, there's like laws here in the United States which just, and it's slowly state by state, but there's still states out there that make it legal to marry a child.
>> Well, I'm not being funny, but what did Trump do the other day?
>> Now the legal age is 14.
>> Yeah. So, you know, it's, it's important to to note that for all those women and girls that are growing up.
>> If you want to see change, be a part of the change. We can no longer, we can no longer depend on somebody to save us. It's not going to happen. It is not going to happen. And.
>> Women save each other. They're going to have, you're. Oh, they, there are so many videos out there that you see where like, just recently, there was a girl at a concert um, I think it was in LA, that she had, you know, was walking to her seat. She had a drink in her hand, and she accidentally spilled it on this guy, and this guy roid-raged it out. Like, she was apologizing. She was like, "I'm so sorry." You know, she was just trying to get to her seat. It was crowded.
>> And he leaves. He comes back and proceeds to beat her unconscious.
>> Is that the one from the football stadium?
>> Uh-huh. I think so. And, and, uh, and it was only women that were trying to get him to stop. All these men just stood there.
>> And so the days of men are our protectors is over. That's done.
>> When will they ever protect us though? If you think about it, think about it. No matter what war there is, there's always going to be soldiers that are raping women and children left, right, and center. We see it every day in um, what they're doing to Gaza. Um, you know, they have done it in World War I, World War II, every war they've gone to. The British, they are British army are disgusting what they do to the people in Kenya. So, when have men ever been our protectors?
>> Yeah. And there's reports um of UN workers.
>> Right.
>> Going to these refugee camps and basically bartering. You won't get fed until you perform a sexual favor. And it's not just women, it's kids too.
>> Exactly.
>> So, you're withholding food from pe, the most vulnerable.
>> In order to sex. Like, that's your thing. Like, that's what you do. Only when the only way men can succeed is by bringing down women and children because they aren't natural leaders. They never have been. Men are misunderstanding what a protector is, and what what they are is territorial.
>> Correct.
>> Right. So, when we had um, we had foreigners um, that uh, raped and murdered uh, children, we had, we had riots because of it and all that kind of stuff.
>> Um.
>> It was, it was horrendous. But, but when a white man does it, there's no riots. There's only riots when a, when a brown, black, foreigner, whatever does it. And that's because they don't care about women and children. A, it's their racism showing, but also um, they don't care about it because, or they only care about it then it's because um, a white, a black person has done it because, you know, only a white person can harm a white person.
>> Oh yeah. I mean, even here, they have this, this beautiful woman, Lake and Riley, who was raped and murdered, and she was the one that, right? She did everything right. You know, she, she, she would tell people where she was going. She would be aware of her surroundings. She would do all the right things, and still wound up being raped and murdered. And what was the solution to that problem? Because the man who did it happened to be in an il, illegal, right? Or somebody who was not in the country legally. Was to create a bill that doesn't [ __ ] help anything like you. And it was to create a bill against foreigners.
>> Yeah.
>> That's, that was their solution to that problem. And it's like, you know, that happens here every day for American citizens.
>> Yeah.
>> All the time.
>> They just don't care. Um, because we also need to understand, uh, that.
>> Oppressing women benefits the patriarchy.
>> Absolutely.
>> In every country where there's a man involved or at at the top, that society is crumbling. But when there's a woman on top and a woman's in charge, it's always thriving. Every business where a woman's on top or it's it's mainly led by women, they are thriving. They, they always outperform the males. It's always been that way. A really good example um is back in the day when they, when they were doing gymnastics, it was, it was a joint sport. Women and girls, uh, women and and men did it together. When they realized that women were outperforming the boys by quite huge margins, they separated the sport because the girls were better than the boys, and the boys were never winning anything.
>> Mhm.
>> And that's just, that's a really good way of seeing it. And, and same with like schools and stuff. You, like, I don't know if you have it over, over at your end, but we had it in the news the other day where um, boys are being left behind in school rather than girls are exceeding.
>> Exceeding.
>> Right. It's always.
>> The poor, the poor, poor boys, right? Like, shut up. Like, if boys are failing everywhere in life, then why don't you try and fix that root problem rather than trying to.
>> Fix. Let's get to the root of that problem.
>> Yeah.
>> Instead of, and not only that, raise up still the women. To, and the girls that are needing it because, you know, it's.
>> There's so many different ways which, you know, this, us in this generation and in this lifetime now, what I know, what we've been striving for was pushing forward was is to raise up the feminine, right? Is to raise them up to say, "You don't need to, your sole job here on earth is not to get married and have kids." That is not what you are created for. You are created to do whatever it is you want to do. It, even if that is, "I want to get married and raise kids," my, you know, and that is what your soul is burning, like, "I just want to be able to raise these beautiful human beings to be beautiful human beings," you know, in a proper way. Like, that's great. But then also, but it's, it's moving away from also like the, what we're trying to teach young girls now is, it is not your job to make everybody feel comfortable.
>> And it is not your job to sit there and put a smile on your face. So, it, it just warms my heart, especially now when, when you are seeing these videos of women being targeted in public, right? And, and by targeted, I mean, like, these are just girls that are going out for a run, a jog, a walk, or or just being able to go lay in the park.
>> Or just lay and like cry like at the beach, just be by themselves. And here comes some predator that just has to, "I just, but I want to talk to you, and you should talk to me because I want to talk to you." And, you know, exactly that entitlement of just because I come to you and, you know, want your attention, you need to give me attention back. And so many women are fighting against it. And then to hear the men just, and this is my biggest thing with especially with what needs to be taught in these anti-misogyny classes, and ju, and for girls too, like, not that this is part of anti-misogyny, but also being able to take rejection is such a huge thing for you as an individual because being rejected does not means that you're just rejected for that moment in that time. It does not mean you know that you.
>> Life.
>> Right? Or like the [ __ ] in life, that doesn't mean that. But being able to handle rejection and go, "It's okay. This just wasn't meant for me." And be able to move on for that. But I mean.
>> They can't, murdering, stubbing,
>> Cursing women out in public, like, just because, you know, "Hey, you know, can we connect? Can you know, can I get your phone number?" "No, I don't feel comfortable doing that." And then proceed to get cussed out and, you know, and assaulted. And because I don't want to give you a piece of my time. I, that needs to stop. Like, that, that piece needs to stop. And for more women to stand up and like, I know it is very hard in that moment for a lot of, especially young girls, especially because men just have this like, they want to stand over you like this.
>> That's the entire point though, isn't it? It's they want them to be kind of intimidated because nowadays you can't even say, "Oh, I've got a boyfriend or I'm married or I'm I'm a lesbian or I'm this or whatever it may not be."
>> Yeah.
>> It's no longer a valid reason or excuse for these men to not hit on these women, and it doesn't, like I've got, I've got a 17-year-old, and every day she comes home, "Oh, I've been catcalled. I've been this. I've been that." And it was like, and we, we can't defend ourselves over here. So, we are not allowed to have any self-defense weapon. Even, even uh, pepper spray is illegal in England. So, we can't have anything to protect ourselves, and which also, we also want to change the law on that.
>> Yeah. Absolutely.
>> Ridiculous. It's why are.
>> God forbid a woman wants to protect, protect herself, you know? So, I was raised in Germany. So, cuz obviously, like my dad was in the army, so I was raised in Germany.
>> And pepper spray was given to me when I was 16.
>> Just in case. And I've never had to use it. Um, and then I came back to my hometown. I was like, I don't know, I was maybe 25, 26. And I was like, "What the hell's happened here? Completely changed. My, my entire world changed as where I needed pepper spray." And I was quite glad that I could have it. And it wouldn't um, and I would be arrested for it. Whereas in England, you can't do anything whatsoever. And that law also needs to change. So, aren't the village and finding free isn't just going to be um, a small little thing. We are going to, we are going to be a group that is going to be um, fighting for change, actively fighting for change.
>> That's wonderful. Making sure that they are all safe and housed and, you know, divorced and educated and all that kind of stuff, and then also given a new place to live, you know. Um, and but at the same time, we're going to be fighting the government for policy changes and making policy changes and then just doing it, doing whatever we need to do from the inside out, and hopefully that will then make um, a huge difference. Now, how do you, how do you um, see that going as far as in, in your parliament? How, what is the divide as far as women representation?
>> Oh, it's, it's not even, it's like, yeah, there's definitely more men than there is women. But.
>> Close to half? Or.
>> No.
>> Not even that.
>> No, I don't think I don't even think it's even that. Um.
>> In England, politicians get paid just for being politicians. Half of them don't even turn up to anything.
>> Um, if, if they're discussing their wages, it's the entire thing's full. If they're discussing um, domestic violence, there's maybe five people there, and those five people, maybe four of them are women, and one of them is a man, and half the time it's the speaker, right? Um, they just don't care. And that's why I think we need to re, we, we need to, we are better as a group, as a collective. There's only, there's what? Say, for example, there's a thousand MPs. Why are we listening to a thousand MPs when there's millions of us living on this island together? It's the same every single country. We outnumber them by, you know, God knows how many. You know what I mean? So, we just have to, we, what we are going to do, be doing, yes, we're going to be applying for funding and all that kind of stuff as well, of course, but we are not going to be asking them directly for help. You, you're either going to change it, or you don't, but you're not going to like the consequences when you don't change it because we are no longer just sitting by idly doing nothing. So, yeah.
>> Yeah. And I know that's exactly why um, there is such a huge male-dominated campaign about feminism and, you know, "Oh, you're one of those, you know, feminism." And, you know, I've had to explain this to my son. I said, you know, feminism is not just like, "Oh, we're just taking off our bras and throwing them in the air." It is a form of, you know um, the patriarchy is okay. Here, I can put my foot on your, a woman's neck. And feminism is, "Get your [ __ ] foot off my neck."
>> Yeah. Exactly.
>> So, why is it being taught that feminism is such a horrible thing to have in our communities and in our societies? Is because.
>> They don't want women fighting back. And it is, this is the generation. This is it. This is the time where women start to fight back. This is the time where women realize now that help isn't coming. So, I'm going to have to be the help. I'm going to have to be the one that protects, be the protector, instead of.
>> You know, and we can do this without losing our femininity. Like, it doesn't mean that we have to turn into like these, you know, heavy, husky, testosterone-filled women. That's, that's not what it means at all. There is plenty of divine feminine women who are out there that are strong protectors, and they're represented.
>> Yeah. And they're, you know, they're being represented in small ways here and there, but they're out there. And I think that's what women need to understand. Like, yeah. Put on that badass dress, put on those [ __ ] beautiful ass shoes, but still be able to walk into a room and say, "Don't [ __ ] with me."
>> Yeah. Exactly.
>> You know, and we don't have to lose that. It doesn't mean we have to lose that at all. And, you know, the, the times of these men coming out, it's just like, um, women are just too masculine these days. It's like, "Yeah, I have to be because you aren't."
>> Like, you're a princess.
>> Yeah. Because, you know, everything needs to be folded down to you and and handed to you like this.
>> All these men are in their princess era. They, they want to be pumped. They want to be looked after. They want to have all these, you know, they want to be mummied. That, that's what they want, right? They want everything done for them.
They want to do absolutely nothing but the bare minimum of going to work. Yeah. So that's all they want to do. And that's why women are filing for divorce. Like, oh, in the US, I don't know what it is in the UK, but in the US, women, 75% of divorces are filed by women. 85 in England. So what is that? And you know, and you know what prompted me to look that up is why is it so hard and complicated to get divorced? It's because women are filing for it often times than not and they want to make it complicated. Now, there are, there are complicated issues. There are complicated stories, right? And trust me, because when I went through mine and we had to fill out that paperwork about the custody thing, like who's getting who on Martin Luther King Day, I was like, really? Like, but and then my thought was like, damn, people got problems. Like, you know, and for various reasons, but also this paperwork is like, it is meant to keep us in the marriage that we don't want to be in.
Of course, luckily, it's quite easy in England to file for divorce. It took me 20 minutes. Um, it was honestly the most easiest thing to do, but that still comes with other court hearings on top of that, especially if they don't agree. So, um, luckily my ex-husband, obviously raging narcissist, um, I can get him to sign whatever I want him to sign when he's in his kiss my ass phase because he wants my attention. So, it that was fairly easy for me. Uh, we had custody court yesterday. That was fairly easy because he's homeless. Like, what is he gonna fight for, right? Um, because all of a sudden, I'm no longer with him. I'm no longer helping him. I'm no longer doing everything for him. And now he's on the dumps, homeless with no money, right? So, karma. Um, but that's, so I was, I was really lucky that that was quite easy. But divorce, especially in America, they're trying to get rid of no-fault divorce. And why are they doing that? Because it oppresses women. Women have to have a reason and then they have to go to court and explain the reasons and blah, blah, blah. We don't have to do that here. So we have no-fault divorce. So, um, that's probably why your percentage is up by 15 or 10% more than ours. Yes. Probably. Yeah. And that's that, believe it or not, but divorce is the only thing that women are better at than men. Yeah. That's the only thing that we are in the leaderboard.
And yeah, I don't, I honestly, I, I would personally, I think that they should change the laws on marriage and there has to be a change on age and that age has to be a minimum of 25. And I say that because before that, our frontal lobe isn't developed. After that, like around that time, 25, 26 is when it is, when it's developed. Before that, all decisions are made based purely on emotion. Right? I got married the first time when I was 21. I was divorced by the time I was 25. Cuz I was a child. What the hell was I getting married for and having children? Like a child for at 21. And you know what? Kids, kids these days. Yeah. I look at my son's age. He's 19. He's not me at 19. Yeah. No. Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah. The Gen X, the Gen X timeline and that ended, that ended the adult, 18 as the adult, right? Like I get it. Yeah. When you're 18, yeah, you should absolutely be able to vote and have a say and things like that, but stop treating these kids in this generation as though they can make the same decisions we were able to make for ourselves because we live differently. And a lot of the way we lived as a Gen X generation, uh, we, we strive to do, we wanted to do better for the, for the most part. There's plenty of us Gen Xers that are still like reeling in that this is how it has to be. Strong hand down, you know, all that. Um, but we are trying to do better by our kids by being having them be open with their emotions, teaching them more about like how to regulate, you know, things like that. And so it is going to look different. And for those that are not in their healing era or can't see past their own ego, uh, you're making these kids into [ __ ] or you know, they're, and this is why kids are falling apart left and right. Kids are falling apart left and right because of the state of the world that we're in and and then the open access to everything that's going on. And and mind you, now that everything is unfolding and people are finally seeing what the world for what the world actually is, that it is not just affecting kids. It's affecting adults. And you're seeing it over and over again of how these adults are going out in public and just showing their ass over and over again. And and you mean to tell me that it's the kids of this generation? Like, look at yourself. Or the adults are literally having full-blown tantrums. Tantrums. Yeah. Because they weren't taught how to regulate their emotions. And I'm going to hold my hands up. I was exactly the same. And but a little bit of an excuse. I had autism and well, I have autism and ADHD, which was undiagnosed for practically my entire life. I wasn't diagnosed until my daughter was diagnosed at the age of 13. And I was like, "Oh, yeah, that all makes sense. I now know I have X Y Z. I now know what I need to do and how I can regulate my own emotions and all that kind of stuff." But we have, but my emotional tantrums is, you know, me crying or me shouting or, you know, me being loud, right? When a man has an emotional tantrum, he attacks the place. He batters other people and if not even goes as far as murders them because men just don't have the capacity to deal with anything that stresses them out. It's very rare that good men and emotionally intelligent men are extremely rare. We are all looking for the exact same man. You know, straight women are all looking for the exact same man. And maybe out the entire world, maybe there's only like 5,000 of them. So, you know, cuz I've, to me, it is all men. In my life, it has been all men. And I have never met an Well, it has been all. Yeah. In my life, there has been all men. In my daughter's life, there have been all men. It's always the men. Yeah. Before anybody know kicks off, we are aware women can be abusive too and all that kind of stuff. Fully. Absolutely. Pickmes are just as bad as misogynists, even a tiny bit more sometimes. Um, but yeah, well, they have something to prove, you know, it's, it's, and they're also coming from their ego too, that they feel like that's what it looks like, you know, they have something to prove to like, I'm one of you. Yes. And it's like, it's okay, girl. You'll figure it out or not. Yeah, you'll grow up one day, you know, or not. And and and, you know, I, I, I hope that we do come to a time where all women do like, go, this is not it, but we are still going to have men raising little girls in such a way that that's where the pickmes come from. Oh. How often do you see comments from people on social media and then you look on onto their onto their profile and they've got children in their profile and you're just like, "Yeah, you're raising these children like you now and you're a freaking millennial." Like I can't even tell you how often I comment underneath my videos to people going, "At your age, you're still a pickme. It's 2025." Like, it's embarrassing now. Like, at this point, it's embarrassing. Yeah. Why? Like, why are you still like, why are you 60 odd and? Yeah, well, and there, and I, I think too that, um, it's important for any kid to know that, you know, that validation that you are seeking out from all those toxic places and people, that that validation that you're looking for comes within you. Of course, that's where you need to be looking for. You are the one that validates you. Not not somebody saying, you know what, you're right. That's you. You know, you're so validated. You're so validated. You're so validated within yourself. Yes. First. And that is the change that we need to grow between children as a whole and then you start with that. And you know, there just definitely needs to be that this needs to be so mainstream that continue talk. But we are dealing with people that are they think being woke is not being woke is not a flex, people. Like let me just say that. Like, just because it is not a flex. Like stop it. Like you are, you're making a fool out of yourself on a daily. That's how language, that's how language is being twisted. Like being a girl's girl is now a bad thing. Being woke is now a bad thing. No, you have morals. Like we are no longer in society where, you know, you either agree with it or you don't. Um, you have to pick a side. Like you're either on the side of good or you're on the side of evil. And what the world, or a lot of the world currently is on is on the side of evil. Um, what you guys are going through is beyond words. Was going to say, like the entirety of the of Europe is disgusted and embarrassed of what is happening in America and how they are treating practically everybody, cuz it's not just immigrants anymore, or people, it's across the board. They are handcuffing children for crying out loud. Like I saw a video of a two-year-old being handcuffed by a grown ass freaking white man. Like, honestly, that's an entire different podcast. The absolutely life for you, um, is just, you know, of course, there's the odd racist stuff that I think is fantastic, but America is just hating women so much. It's and children. It's Yeah. It's at a level that can't even be explained by men and billionaires. Yeah. Exactly. No, 100%. Yeah. So, so it was such lovely chatting with you and you know, I know we could just go on and on about. We always do though. We always do. But what I want to um, tell people is how, how can people help you? How can? Well, there's various ways people can help. Of course, um, they can go onto Dopes Village dot com and buy merch. I ship throughout the UK and I ship throughout the world. So, I ship to America as well. Uh, but please make sure that you use the correct postage because a lot of been quite cheeky. I've been picking the wrong postage, so I had to cancel. There's a difference between £3 and £11 in postage. It does cost me money. Uh, yes. So, obviously ordering from Dips or Village, um, ordering, uh, donating directly via the GoFundMe and volunteer. Um, I have quite a lot of girls that um, that volunteer that are from Nevada, that are from um, from Canada, because I don't just want this to be an England project or UK project. It's going to eventually be a worldwide project because women, no matter where they are, are going to need help. It happens that I'm in London and I'm the one that come up with it. So, it's starting in London. So, but there are so many other women that you know, from Spain, Germany, we have women from Sweden. So, and we are going to be building a worldwide network of women helping. So, if you know, there's buy, donate or volunteer and yeah, comment, like, share, all that stuff on on on social media. You know what gets people viral. So, yeah, that's basically what people can do and talk to each other. I the only way that we can actually build a village if we if we get out of this co mindset and actually start becoming a community again, um, and helping each other out and that's how it works. Ignore the government and just build your own villages and then we can just become one big massive one and big [ __ ] you to the patriarchy. Women helping women. That's exactly what we're striving for and you know, this is the time that it's going to take off. So that you are so needed and collaboration, everybody who's listening to this, collaborate, collaboration, collaboration. We cannot do this alone and we need to support women all over the world. It's, you know, we start within our homes and our communities and then we expand throughout the world. There is nothing stopping us. Sam, you are so lovely. Thank you so much for coming on and talking with me about this and I wish you all the luck in the world and I look forward to seeing what you build and create and I would love to come out and see it in person. Oh my god. Yes, you're definitely coming over. You're coming over. Absolutely. Thank you so much. You're very welcome. Thank you for listening to Medusa's Awakening Podcast. Stay up to date on new episodes by following, liking, and subscribing to our pages. We are on Instagram at Medusa's_awakening, on YouTube at Medusa's Awakening, and on TikTok at awakening Medusa_Podcast. [Music] Hey. [Music]