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When it comes to abundance, which money is an integral part of in today's world, it isn't just about finding a way to get what you want. It's about what is blocking you from getting what you want. Every person alive has internal blocks to getting what they want. And nearly every person alive has internal blocks related to money. But today, I'm going to reveal to you the number one thing that is blocking financial abundance.
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I'm going to tell you what it is first and then explain it in total detail so you really get it and can apply this knowledge to your own life. The number one thing that blocks people's financial abundance is beliefs and their corresponding behaviors that block the things you want beliefs that block money but that maintain negative loyalties to the people you care about. We call these negative loyalty patterns.
Human beings are a profoundly relationally dependent species. Our capacity to survive and thrive is dependent on our relationships. This is a beautiful thing because it could make us masters of interdependence and symbiosis. But to the opposite, it can open the door for some serious dysfunction. As a person, your sense of survival and beyond that well-being is linked to your level of closeness and alignment with the people in your life. So on a totally subconscious level, you adopt beliefs and tell yourself and everyone else stories that keep you aligned with, in confluence with, experiencing closeness with, and allied to other people, most especially your early caregivers such as your parents. But those beliefs and stories may be detrimental to your well-being and best interests. if these beliefs block you from what you want and need. Obviously, if they do that, they're detrimental.
So, just to be crystal clear, a negative loyalty pattern can take on many, many forms, but the function is the same. It's a belief and/or behavior that keeps you aligned with, in confluence with, experiencing closeness with, and allied to another person. Again, most especially our early caregivers, but that is detrimental to your well-being and best interests. If you want to learn even more about this, by the way, you can watch my video that's titled, "What is a negative loyalty pattern?"
So, now you're probably wondering, "Well, how exactly does this work? How does a negative loyalty pattern block financial abundance?" To explain this, I'm going to give you some examples. Let's say that you have a mother who feels burdened by you. She doesn't actually want to be caretaking a child. And a lot of the elements of caretaking are about providership. And therefore, your mother is your first experience of abundance. You're likely to adopt a belief that you don't deserve abundance in order to keep yourself feeling close to your mother. After all, if you did believe that you deserve abundance, what would that have meant about your mother and her relationship with you?
Or for example, let's do a super common one. Say you're a little toddler and you crawl towards the things you want, but the people in your life keep picking you up and pulling you away from the things you're trying to reach. You may adopt the belief, "I'm not going to get what I want in life. there's no point to going for it." But this belief keeps you from facing the fact that the people in your life keep acting as an oppositional force to your desires rather than as a supporting force to your desires. It keeps you allied with them.
Or for example, say that you grew up in a wealthy family and you spent your childhood always watching your dad working and making money and never having any time for you. So you develop the belief that making money keeps you away from relationships. As a result, you feel resistance to focusing on money and you end up the person in the family who's not very successful financially. But what you don't see is that this belief, this story that you tell yourself may cover for the fact that your dad isn't actually dedicated to having relationships in general, maybe most especially a relationship with his kids. You never put it together that dad does always make time for golf. He makes time for the things that he wants to do. This belief about money can cover over the reality that your dad did not actually want to put energy and time and effort into the relationship with you. The belief that money keeps you away from relationships limits your abundance because why? Well, you're not going to go for money because focusing on money is going to make you feel alone. It's basically a built-in shock mechanism, a shock collar against money. But it does keep you more close to your father, more with him than admitting that it wasn't money that kept him away from you. He chose to do that on his own all along.
It is worth a special mention that beliefs around your worthiness or deserving of the things you want have an especially direct link to these negative loyalty patterns that affect abundance. Something important to get is that thoughts, most especially beliefs, they shape our perception of reality and we behave according to our perception of reality. Beliefs create behavior. So if we have these beliefs that are oppositional to the things we want, including money, we will be making decisions and acting in ways that are oppositional to getting the things we want. We will be acting in ways that are oppositional to money. It is in essence a form of what we often call self-sabotage. The thing is is that self-sabotage is really just about a part of us believing that a certain behavior is in fact in our best interests, even if it comes with a serious consequence. If you want to learn more about this, by the way, you can watch my video that's titled There is no such thing as self-sabotage.
Everyone has these beliefs that help them to stay connected to the people they love the most. And don't let your anger or resistance fool you. You're probably still maintaining loyalty to people who you loved and were hurt by and who you think you hate or even have let go of.
So, how do you find these beliefs? And what do you do with them once you find them? Well, you want to look at your desires. As a person, you're constantly wanting. Identify something you want and then ask yourself, why am I not able to have that? Now, I'm not looking for you to have the answer. What I'm looking for you to do is come up with a a list of kind of excuses as to why you don't have it. There are likely several answers. I just want you to put down whatever comes to mind. You don't have to be right. The goal is to get yourself to kind of vomit up all kinds of thoughts that you've been thinking. For example, let's say that you were to write down, "I want to be a millionaire." Well, you ask yourself, "Why am I not able to have that? Who am I to be a millionaire? Everyone wants to be a millionaire. It doesn't mean everyone can be. I don't have any good ideas. The chance of me winning the lottery is like one in 80 million. The only way I can do that is to win the lottery. Every millionaire I've ever met has a more aggressive go-getter personality than me." You get the point, right? Whole list like that.
Now, here's the thing. Any question that you could ever ask yourself regarding the why you don't have finances or the why you don't have the things you want, point to these beliefs. For example, if you ask yourself, "Why do other people have wealth regardless of whether they're good people or not and I don't?" is a great question to ask yourself. It's important to really get that money is really only a tool that people use in order to get what they want. So, it isn't about money. It's about the things you want. But you can do this exercise relative to something specific you want and or you can do this exercise relative to money in and of itself. And if you're somebody who really wants to increase your finances, I would do both.
These beliefs are inherent in any point of resistance that you hit to what you want. "I want fill in the blank. Limit limit prevention block." For example, "I want money. Money ruins society. Money is hard to come by. The only way I can make more money is to work more. And I'm already too maxed out at work. No one knows how to make money that fast. And no one I know has money, etc." You get the point, right? "I want this thing block block block block block block block block block block block block block block block block block block block block block block block."
Once you find these beliefs with each one you want to ask yourself if I were to maintain this belief to preserve my idea of someone or my view of someone who would that someone be. You also want to ask yourself and how would this belief manage to do that? You can also ask yourself having this thing that I want whatever you wrote down maybe even having everything I could ever want. this would be a problem for who and why would it be a problem for them? Based on the answer, you can also probably identify other beliefs that you've adopted to stay aligned with them. The good news is once you see this emotional superglue purpose behind these beliefs, it loosens them in your being. After all, if we're telling ourselves this stuff in order to maintain a closeness and loyalty to someone, is it really true?
You can then change these beliefs. to change them. You want to ask yourself with each belief, "Can I know that this is 100% beyond a shadow of a doubt true?" Let's be honest, most of us can't answer yes to that. You also want to spend a moment thinking about what kinds of thoughts you think, how you feel, what decisions you make, the ways you act, the actions you have taken and continue to take or potentially didn't take, and the actions you refuse to take. When you believe that thought, you want to really drive it into your being how horrible this particular belief has been for you and is.
Okay. From there, what you want to do is first come up with alternative evidence and proof to destroy the belief as well as to destroy the emotional payoff you're getting from keeping that belief. Basically, prove it doesn't keep you close and loyal to the person that that belief serves that purpose for. Second, choose what belief you would like to replace the previous one with. And third, write down evidence to support this new belief and proof that backs up this new belief so that you develop a belief in it instead.
Okay, so I'm going to give you a picture of how this looks. Let's say that you discover the belief "it takes time to make money because there's lots of steps you need to take." Let's say that you realize that this belief would serve your father because he had to slowly climb the ladder and work hard to be successful and he definitely made sure to make you aware of that growing up. Well, if you were to make money quickly without needing to jump through the hoops that he had to jump through, you may feel a loss of belonging with him, the father-son relationship you grew up with, where he was teaching you about the world and about how to make it as a man would change. You may feel like you surpassed your dad. And that's terrifying because suddenly it feels like you're alone in the world and maybe it's the closest you've come to the feeling of exposure. You may feel guilty or like a bad person for causing a potential self-esteem collapse in your dad. So, you're trying to maintain that sense of goodness and that sense of closeness with him.
Now, relative to that belief, you're going to ask yourself, "Can I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is 100% true?" Then you're going to look through all the ways that this belief makes you feel, makes you behave, what it makes you think, the actions it makes you take or fail to take. Now, what you're going to do is you're going to shoot holes in the evidence for this belief that it takes time to make money. Also, the emotional payoff that you get. So, what this could look like is "hard work and time are not the only inputs for financial success. Um, offering value and solving a problem could get you far more money far quicker. How about I'm not actually a good person if I'm limiting myself because I would also be limiting my father in terms of what he can achieve. I'm not actually close to my dad if he needs me to be smaller than he is to have a good relationship with him. Another one could be I know somebody that makes so much money in a matter of minutes and it's just down to what job he has." Okay, you get the point. You can keep going for a very long time.
Now, let's say that you switch to this new belief and let's say that the new belief that you want to have is "money can come quickly and easily when I create value." Now, let's say that your proof for this is "there's a lot of times where I have landed huge deals because my client knew somebody else that was looking for the solution that I was offering. Or maybe the way that technology is developing so rapidly turns people into overnight successes. Or the richest people in the world that I watch quite often say that making money is not about time, it's about having the right idea." What I want you to keep in mind is that I've given you an example that gives you a taste of what you should be doing. In reality, you need to find far more proof for both shooting holes in the old belief and for supporting the new belief. You want to get yourself to the place where you really feel the new one a lot more than you feel the old one. In fact, you look at the old belief and you're like, "That's kind of dumb."
You can also do belief turnarounds such as let's say that I have the belief "money is hard to earn." Some examples of turnarounds for this belief could be "money is easy to earn. Poverty is hard to earn. Money is hard to be gifted. I am hard to earn." and challenge yourself to think outside the box. So as come up with at least four items of proof that turn that the turnaround thought like the new thought basically is even more true or as true as the original belief. If you really want to dive into this concept about how to do turnarounds for beliefs, Byron Katie's process that's called the work is really great for this one.
Because negative loyalty patterns are the number one block for finances. Don't forget to challenge any beliefs that having money or having any one thing that you want is oppositional to relationships. For example, "if I get rich, I won't belong anymore." Or "money corrupts people." In case you're interested, I have an entire vault of meditations that are designed to overhaul your mentality and personal vibration around abundance and finances. The link to this vault will be in the description of this video. It is my intention that this exercise frees up those things that are keeping you away from whatever it is that you are wanting and that as a result you line up instantly with whatever it is that you have been wanting. Just remember that finances are a gateway to having what you want but not if you believe that finances themselves are the limitation to having what you want. Have a good week.
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