Romantic Love | Marianne Williamson

Hello everybody. How are you? Great to see those of you here in New York, and it's great to see those of you who I cannot see, but who I know are seeing us. Um, happy Tuesday to everybody. Did you have a good week since last I saw you? Anybody here tonight for the first time? Lovely to have you here. Welcome.

As you probably know, we talk here on Tuesday nights about principles of A Course of Miracles and other Universal spiritual themes, specifically how they apply to our modern everyday existence. Um, A Course of Miracles says that we think we have many different problems, but we really only have one, and that is our separation from God. So we seek to apply that idea to rethink our lives, lives by recognizing all the ways in which the way we think and the way we behave is at odds with the deepest truth of who we are. And that deepest truth of who we are is God, or love. So we seek to convert spiritually. It's not a religious conversion, it's a spiritual conversion from one mindset that leads to one kind of experience and behavior, to another mindset that leads to another kind of experience and behavior. So that's why we're here tonight. We're going to talk about romantic love, which I think is a specific, uh, worldly situation that could use a little bit of spiritual insight. So, uh, we're going to go there tonight.

Before we do anything else, please introduce yourselves to the people who are around you, to your right and to your left, and in front of you and behind you.

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Also, before we begin this evening, we want to take a moment to express our condolences to those of you who live in England. Uh, we're all aware, as people all over the world are, of the terrible tragedy, uh, in Manchester, and you are in our prayers, um, and will remain so. And we will include you in our prayers here tonight.

We all take a deep breath. We see in the middle of our mind a little ball of golden light, and we watch this light as it begins to grow larger and larger until now it covers the entire inner vision of our mind. And we see for ourselves within this light a beautiful temple, and we see a garden that surrounds the temple, and a body of water that flows through the garden. We see that the inside of the temple is lit as well by this same beautiful golden light. And here we are, for we have been drawn together by the power and in the presence of God. We devote our time spent together, all of our relationships and experiences with one another, to Him. And we pray that His holiest Spirit be upon us, entering into the deepest regions of our thoughts and of our feelings, that we might thus be lifted above and beyond the shadows, the limitations, and the fears of this world, to the endless love and peace that lay beyond.

On this night, dear God, we pray for Your comfort, Your healing for the people of Manchester, England. Those who have lost their loved ones, and for the people who themselves passed. For those children, our hearts break with the people of that community, and we pray for their power to endure and to heal. And so it is. Together we all say, Amen.

I'd like to begin by reading from a, um, um, study that came out from Harvard just this month, and I had it open. Okay. And this has to do with romantic relationships. Now, this is speaking specifically, uh, a study regarding people 18 to 25, but you'll see how this applies to the larger culture, um, including everyone. It says, "Large numbers of teens and young adults are unprepared for caring, lasting romantic relationships and are anxious about developing them. Yet, it appears that parents, educators, and other adults often provide young people with little or no guidance in developing these relationships. The good news is that a high percentage of young people want this guidance. While parents wring their hands about whether to have the sex talk with their kids, far fewer parents fret about how to talk to their kids about what mature love is, or about what it actually takes to develop a healthy, mature romantic relationship. Yet, 70% of the 18 to 25 year olds who were who responded to the survey reported wishing they had received more information from their parents about some emotional aspect of a romantic relationship, including how to have a more mature relationship, that was 38%; how to deal with breakups, that's 36%; how to avoid getting hurt in a relationship, that's 34%; and how to begin a relationship at 27%. 65% of respondents to our survey of 18 to 25 year olds wished that they had received guidance on some emotional aspect of romantic relationships in a health or sex education class at school. Yet, sex education also tends not to engage young people in any depth about what mature love is, or how one develops a mature, healthy relationship. Most sex education is either focused narrowly on abstinence or on disaster prevention, how not to get pregnant or contract sexually transmitted diseases."

I thought that was interesting. I thought it was interesting, particularly because even when we do talk about what to tell our kids about relationships, it has to do with the sexual aspect, but not necessarily within the context of a larger, uh, sense of of mature and healthy love between two people. These days, though, conversation about way more than just two people is in vogue, but we can get to that later, too. We could even just start with two, but that, that brings up some things, but not till later.

So, A Course in Miracles is very interesting when you look at it in terms of all of these conversations, because even among people who are way older than 25 years old, we all live in this large cultural milieu where most of our conversation regarding romance and regarding any kind of romantic or sexual love has to do with pathology. We talk about love addiction, we talk about love avoidance, we love it, we talk about, uh, loving a sociopath, we talk about commitment phobes, we talk about all the things that separate us from each other. Now, this is not to say that some of that conversation is important. It's not to say that sometimes it's not very insightful, but we have actually settled into this place where we talk about the sickness, but we don't even talk about the healing. You know, there's a yin and a yang here. One's the crucifixion, one's the resurrection. One's the sickness, yes, but the other is getting into the solution, getting into the resurrection, getting into that which is beyond the sickness. If all you do is analyze a sickness, that of itself does not get you to health.

And when it comes to spiritual insight regarding romance and sexuality and all of that kind of thing, the issue is not that we just continue to have a conversation about what the ego does. Not that we just continue to have a conversation about where you got it, Mommy, Daddy, all the stuff in your childhood. We don't even necessarily buy into that. With all due respect to Sigmund Freud, he just get, he, we bought a bill of goods about how it all has to do with your childhood. And now we're all at a point where we just are supposed to accept this huge platitude that all of it has to do with Mommy and all of it has to do with Daddy. Which, to some extent, is true. However, taken by the ego, that has landed us in a place where too many people are avoiding love in the name of needing to first heal their childhood. First, let me tell you, most people don't need to heal their childhood, they need to heal their adulthood. And one of the ways, and one of the ways you heal your adulthood, adulthood is not by dwelling in the past, but by dwelling in the present.

And I know, as many books as I've read, as much as I've been through, and as much as I've seen regarding the various dysfunctions and pathologies and neuroses in relationships, as much as I've seen in myself, and as much as I've seen in others, even though much of that insight that's part of the popular current psychological jargon has its truth, healing from it does not have to do with just analyzing it. Because you can't analyze the darkness to get to the light. You dismantle the darkness by invoking the light. And so, in this subject, as in every other, the issue is for us to understand what is it that we're going for. Because if we knew what it was we were going for, that is light. A Course of Miracles defines light as understanding. So it is a, it is a dearth of understanding. It is an avoidance of the spiritual context, which is the ultimate understanding of why we even should be in romantic relationships. If we don't have a context for that, which is light, how can we then complain that darkness, I, is, is, is abroad? How can we complain about the darkness when we ourselves have no clue what the light is? So, of course, it's simple for the ego to just blame Mommy or Daddy. But the ego's real task, whether it's saying that the issue is coming from Mommy or Daddy, isn't even, isn't relevant. The ego always will make sure that it is somehow the other person's fault. And if it wasn't, you know, if it just wasn't that the other person is has a problem with relationships, or has a problem with commitment, or has a problem, whatever, then you might be able to have a real relationship. Or sometimes the ego actually poses as taking responsibility for itself by saying, "I know, I know, the problem is that I even attract that kind of person." But still, you're not taking responsibility because, so you're still, you're judging and blaming someone else.

All of this, from a Course of Miracles perspective, totally fits into the ego's plan. Because the ego's plan in, in love, the Course of Miracles says, the dictates of the ego in love is: seek but do not find. And that's where we are. We're always seeking, but isn't it funny how much seeking and how little finding?

So I want to talk about A Course of Miracles and its issue regarding this topic, because like everything else, in this, as in everything else, the Course of Miracles says the thinking of God is 180 degrees away from the thinking of the world. So let's talk about the larger metaphysical construct here. The Course in Miracles says that God created all of us as one. There is only one begotten son, means we are all it. And our oneness with the Oneness is the only comfort that there is. And the source of that Oneness is God. God meaning the great mind. The Course of Miracles says God is an idea. If we have a problem with that, it is because we haven't accepted that we are ideas, and we are ideas in the mind of God. Now, when we are aligned in our thinking with the truth of God, that is the same thing as saying we are aligned in our thinking with the truth of who we are. We're not talking about God outside us. When we are aligned with the truth of who we are, we are full, we are complete.

Now, we have been taught by the thinking of the world, a paradigm, a mindset, a worldview that has dominated the consciousness of humanity for ages, that we are separate. The separation, this is everything in A Course of Miracles. There is the consciousness of unity, and there is the consciousness of separation. The physical senses reveal evidence that appears to support the idea of separation, because my physical eyes say, "You're over there, and I'm over here." My physical senses tell me I am separate from you, and my physical senses tell me that I am separate from God, because my physical senses don't see God. Now, this has induced within us all, A Course of Miracles says, on levels that we have no, no concept. The level that this has introduced a level of hysteria. Think of the worst heartbreak that you have ever experienced, the worst sense of betrayal, the worst sense of neglect, the worst sense of of abandonment, the worst sense of, "Oh my God, where did it go? Or where did she go?" Whether it was Mommy or Daddy, or or a lover or a spouse, that is a fraction of the hysteria that we are experiencing unknowingly, based on the fact that we can't find that which we know is our completion, which is divine.

Okay. Now, A Course in Miracles says that a mind which is at one with God, the spirit, is the true mind. But then there is a separation that occurred millions of years, as we know it ago, but it actually never occurred at all, because time itself is not real. And that is a separation where there is an aspect of mind, and in A Course of Miracles, it is called the ego. There are many, you, you, you know, whenever you hear these principles based on other religious or spiritual, uh, systems, you know, you get, "Oh, I understand that principle. We call it something else." That's fine. It doesn't matter what the words are. There's one truth spoken in many different ways. But it's the idea of the belief that you are separate. And the belief that you are separate wreaks all manner of havoc, because it is insane to think that I'm separate, because in fact, I'm not. So when I think I'm separate from you, by definition, I'm off my truth. I'm unaligned with my higher truth. If I'm unaligned with my higher truth, I cannot be wise.

Now, the ego mind, the way the mind operates, all mind is vigilant on behalf of itself. So love is always seeking further expression of love. That which is not love, or ego mind, is also always seeking further expression of itself. But all of this is your mind. So your mind that is working against love within you is smart, because you are. And its intention, just as the intention of the spirit is that you self-actualize and know bliss, the intention of the, that which is not love, ego mind, is to destroy you. A Course of Miracles says the ego is suspicious at best, best, and vicious at worst. If you use a, take, take as an example, uh, one form of ego is addiction. So look at something like drug addiction or alcoholism. They're not out to inconvenience you, they're out, if you allow them to, to destroy you and take your family down as well, obviously. Okay. So this is very serious stuff, this sick thinking that we have within us.

So the ego mind, you being your own intelligence used against yourself, is not going to come up to you and say, "Hi, I'm your self-loathing." If it said, "Hi, I'm that which is not love within you, out to destroy everything you've ever worked for, everything you've ever dreamed of, and everything you've ever hoped for," then obviously you wouldn't listen to it. But we know how that works. We know how it works in addiction. We know how it works. Every place you think of the stupidest things you've ever done, you've probably thought were a good idea at the time. All the ways in which the mind can be very, very insidious.

So the ego mind first tells you you are separate from God, and you're like, totally hysterical. You're totally unhappy. You totally know that you are incomplete. Something's missing. I'm not, I'm, something's missing, something's missing, I'm incomplete. So the ego mind, whose intention is that you remain in that hell of a sense of incompletion, doesn't then say to you, "Well, if you just pray more, and meditate more, and forgive more, and have more mercy and more compassion, then you will experience once again your Oneness with God, which is your Oneness with all beings, and you'll be happy." Your ego, once again, its dictate in love is: seek but do not find. Your ego is not going to tell you wise truth. The ego responds this way: "Oh, I know it is so hard for you that you, it, you're so lonely, and you're so bereft, and you're so feeling cut off from the truth of who you are in the entire universe. I have an idea." And that idea is the following: "You know, there's one person out there. There's one person out there, and they would complete you."

Now, the problem with this, the Course of Miracles says, is that then you are seeking salvation in separation. Because if I'm separating out one part of the sonship and thinking my completion lies with you, in you, then I am cutting, I am actually cutting myself off further from that which is my ultimate completion. Not even to mention the pressure I'm putting on you, which is how this all works out, right? So I am seeking my salvation in separation, and that is what the modern egoic concept of romantic love is. The point here is not that romantic love is bad at all. It's obviously one of the most beautiful human experiences. The issue here is that the dictates of the ego, and the way the ego thinks about it, is actually the ultimate sabotage of romantic love rather than proponent of it.

I remember many years ago, when Helen Reddy, singer named Helen Reddy, sang that song, "You and Me Against the World." And I remember thinking, and this, I think this was before I did the Course in Miracles, but this was supposed to be a very romantic song. "You and Me Against the World." And I remember thinking, "I don't care who you are, darling, that is so bad odds." I mean, that's just like, you and me against the world. And that was presented like it was something really romantic. You and me over here against the world. Right? Now, you don't even stop to think like, "Well, that's sick. That would be kind of unfortunate." And yet, the ego has this idea that there is this one person. Now, we've already talked about the fact that the very concept is an ego lie, because it is the idea of separation, of salvation through separation. But now let's take it a little deeper. You have come to believe that you are incomplete, and you believe that you are incomplete because when we are cut off from our Oneness with God, we are cut off from our Oneness with all the universe. We feel there is something damaged about us. We feel that there is something lacking in us.

Now, the ego mind, when it tells us there is one person out there who will complete you, is actually, look at the core belief here. The core belief is that I'm not enough as I am. Now, the core belief is that I am not enough. The core belief is that something is lacking. So I'm looking for someone who will provide what I feel I'm lacking. A Course of Miracles points out what should be obvious: this is not love, this is theft. That you want this person to give you. And by the way, the Course actually says if you get enough of that, you probably be be done with them, okay? So it's like when Jerry Maguire, and that movie, when Tom Cruise says to Renee Zellweger, "Right? You complete me." And for about 15 seconds, it sounds so romantic. And then, no, but it seems so good. It seems so good. But actually, once again, look at the way the deeper mind is operating here, because the core belief is that without you, I am nothing. Go back to what I said a few minutes ago about the pressure this puts on you. And it makes my energy towards you more, by definition, about what I think I need from you and what you can give to me, rather than a context which actually promotes love by making you feel how fun it is to be around me, because I'm not trying to get this all the time. I'm actually standing in a place of what I can give rather than what I can get. But as long as I have that core belief of my own own incompleteness without you, then even if I'm standing in a place of giving, it is usually a giving to get, which makes you feel more controlled and taken from, ultimately, than actually served. Does that make sense?

Now, the way the Course of Miracles talks about this, it has two expressions: the special relationship and the holy relationship. Relationships, according to A Course of Miracles, are assignments made by the Holy Spirit. The universe is intentional. Just as the embryo is programmed to become the baby, the acorn is programmed to become the oak tree, the bud is programmed to become the blossom, we are all similarly programmed to become the highest expression of ourselves living on this Earth. The difference between you and the acorn is that you, in any given moment, can decide to say no. The acorn doesn't have free will, and you do. So spiritual seeking is about training our minds into a yes position. A yes position, meaning, "May God's will be done," knowing that God is love and will is thought. So in any situation where we enter in, knowing who we are in the mind of God, which then and then aligns us with the recognition of who we are in relation to each other, which then aligns us to our purpose on this Earth, which is to be vessels of God's love for all human beings, that actually is the best placement for romance. But if we follow the dictates of the ego, it is the idea that this is not about an inclusive love with the universe, it's about an exclusive love. Just you and me, me and you are the source of my happiness, and you complete me. And so, in all of that, romantic imagery has within it the seeds of deep pathology.

Now, the Course of Miracles talks about how the, well, it does not use these words, the philosophy, however, is that the universe is intentional. As I was saying before, the embryo turns into the baby, the acorn into the oak tree, you into your enlightened self. Your enlightened self means the full actualization of your divine potential. That's what Buddha represents, that's what Moses represents, that's what Jesus represents, that's what all the great avatars represent. They are people who have actualized the divine potential that lies within us all. And that is the, not only the intention of the universe that you self-actualize, but relationships, everything. The Holy Spirit does is provided, is given to us for God's purpose, which is to help you self-actualize. Okay, got that? But anything that happens, not only does the spirit within you seek to use it for its purposes, the ego seeks to use it for its purposes. That's how powerful the mind is.

So when we meet people, why they are brought into our lives? They are brought into our lives in order to exponentially increase the maximal soul growth opportunity for both people involved. Are you with me? That's why we meet people. Sometimes it's, um, that they're your child, sometimes it's they're your, your, your friend, sometimes your employer, employee, parent, president, whatever it is. And romantic, romantic love is one form of assignment, okay? It is one form of assignment.

Now, these assignments, we do not notice that you do not always grow from meeting people that you totally dig and do everything you want them to do all the time. It is easy to be enlightened around people who do exactly what we want them to do all of the time. That's pretty easy, and then we'd all be enlightened masters. So the universe, because its goal is our self-actualization, doesn't just send us people who behave the way we want them to all the time, okay? It sends us to say that we have maximal growth opportunity with another person means the following: everywhere that they have limits and blocks to love, those places deep within them will be triggered by contact with me. All the places where I have blocks and shadows and resistance to love, I will be triggered in relationship with them.

Now, how does this work? If I meet you, and it is obvious that you are going to trigger the hell out of me, and the first day or night that we meet, then I would not remain there to learn these lessons. So, you know, it's like the Greek mythology of Cupid's arrows. What happens is that when there is someone with whom we can have that maximal soul growth opportunity within a romantic context, we are actually given a spontaneous enlightenment experience, right? Uh, across a crowded room, your eyes lock across a crowded room. Now, it's interesting because a lot of modern psychotherapeutic theorizing today says that when you meet somebody and there's that immediate hit, that immediate click, that immediate, "Oh my God, this is it," whatever, a lot of modern theorizing says that's just projection. And it says, "Later, reality will set in." A Course of Miracles says the opposite. A Course of Miracles says that's actually you were given the gift of absolute truth. You were actually lifted to the mountaintop where you saw how gorgeous that person was. You know what? You weren't wrong. And they saw how gorgeous you are. The issue is not that that was projection, that was clear heavenly vision. It's not that that's projection and then later reality will set in. It's that that is truth, and later illusions will set in. Because the illusion is that you are, whether or not you take yourself up off the floor, that's the illusion. The illusion is you are less cool because you didn't put the cap on the toothpaste or whatever.

So when we have those enlightenment experiences, the issue is not that that is not real. The issue is the following: if we do not have the personality structure to be able to hold that much enlightenment, to be able to hold that much light, and if a sacred container is not created, then what happens is that all that light comes up, but everything that is light brings up love, brings up everything unlike itself. Now, the special relationship, then, when we first meet those people, it's all fantastic, and we have that experience, and it's wonderful. And this is not to poo-poo that, but it is to say that once the Holy Spirit has brought you together, it's not going to just let you stay within what is an artificially constructed enlightenment domain when you yourself and the other person have not actually achieved that on a consistent level of personality yet. W. So what happens is that if we do not have a container, if we do not have a spiritual container, then what happens is that fairly shortly, all that which is the resistance to love, which is triggered in the space of that person, will be brought up. Because we heal through a kind of detox process. Stuff has to come up in order to be released.

Now, that is the point where the ego says, "This is terrible. This is a horrible relationship." And one or both people will see this as obvious evidence that we should not be doing this, because we're not right for each other. From A Course of Miracles perspective, that's not necessarily evidence of that at all. You might be saying, "Oh, this is terrible." It's like God's up there going, "Oh, this is good." Because this person, the fact that that person cannot behave that way without you losing your cool, that that person cannot behave that way without you losing your serenity, with that, that person cannot act that way without you going into some denial of love, that's the lesson to be learned. And the ego mind, of course, which has as its goal that we do not find love, does what it always does. It points to the other person. "If only she weren't so needy. If only he weren't so, uh, so avoidant. If only she weren't so controlling. If only he weren't so judgmental." And all of that.

So I want to read to you from A Course of Miracles, one of, I think, one of the most powerful sections in the Course. It's called "The Healed Relationship." Now, the whole point in relationship, but particularly, you see this so dramatically in, in romantic love, is the issue of the transformation of the special relationship to the holy relationship. The ego specializes in the special relationship. The ego says, "I am looking for someone who will basically do what I want you to do, you know, when I want you to do it, and we're going to have a great time, right?" But the truth of the matter is, that's not the purpose of the other person. And to the extent to which you are carrying the energy to make them feel like that is their purpose, they will feel repelled rather than attracted. And that will make it less likely rather than more likely that that's exactly what will occur. The holy relationship is one in which two people are not looking for the other person to complete them, but rather understands that that's the game going on here. The holy relationship is one in which we recognize that the relationship is like a hospital of the soul. Now, these issues apply to not just romantic love, every relationship we have. The issue is from the special to the holy.

So in the holy relationship, you understand that stuff's going to come up. Your worst aspects are going to come up, and my worst aspects are going to come up. But in the presence of atonement for our own mistakes, which mean, and we're not going to get to that place unless we're able to develop the skill of non-reactively listening when the other person points it out. Atonement for our own mistakes, nonviolent communication, so that all these really gnarly things can be said without attack or judgment or blame. An ability and a willingness to forgive the other person, and non-judgment and compassion. These spiritual tools and spiritual techniques are as applicable, if not even more significant, within a romantic context as within every other. And that is why ultimately the issues in relationship are the same whether you're talking about romance or anything else.

When I think of my own life, my own experiences, I think of where I got it right, where I got it wrong, where things went well, where things didn't go well. And in the places where I can look and see that I got got it wrong, it wasn't that I didn't have enough of the information about the current psychological jargon and analysis, even as important as those things often are. It was that I didn't practice what I preach about A Course of Miracles, about not judging, about not blaming, about not attacking, and so forth.

So A Course of Miracles says that when there is deep love, this stuff's going to come up. So part of, you know, I'm very much from the generation that, you know, we started the whole trend of the over-casualization of sex. And I understand that that was, you know, at the time, it had, it had its value, you know, because some old sort of thought patterns did need to be smashed. But without a sacred container, and especially where sex is involved, this is such profound energies. You know, women have been, uh, honed and have been over millions of years of evolution, instinctively and hormonally trained. You know, we make fun, "Oh, I'm buying the dishes already. I just had a good date. I'm already, you know, registering my bridal registry." We make fun of that, but there's a hormonal reason for this that has to do with the propagation of the species. That once certain certain, uh, chemicals are released from the brain and so forth, the woman, over millions of years of evolution, making sure that the species will continue, starts to want to nest. And men, because of millions of years of evolution, start to want to move on to the next one to spread their seed. And we, in the modern world, have become very arrogant about nature. We become very arrogant about thinking that so many of the things that we can know just kind of override some of these hormonal forces. And then we make the other wrong for having these impulses that come from millions of years of evolutionary training within the very cells of our body.

So when we have these profound enlightenment experiences, it seems like we can just casually move into it. And we start, all of us start making assumptions. And, you know, these same principles apply in gay relationships as well as in straight relationships. Some of these masculine-feminine aspects don't have to do with whether it's gay, straight, transgender. It, it's, it's deeper psychic forces that are at work here. And everybody needs to apply it in their own particular way.

When you go into to this profound holy experiment, this profound opportunity, the, the problem what the ego will do is have us undervalue and underestimate how significant this is. And how harmful, even though you might have been hurt so much in your past, and even though you might have hurt other people a lot in your past, next time you're out, you will be tempted to underestimate how harmful this can be when we let all all these energies just erupt and there is no sacred container. Sacred container is prayer, meditation, and commitment. What is the commitment? That two people understand, "It feels good now, but the rock and roll is going to start. Your craziness is going to come up here, and my craziness is going to come up here." So do you even get that as a concept? Right? Because if it's somebody who doesn't get that as a concept, it is self-endangerment to move forward there. It is a sabotage of self. It is a great undervaluing of self to move forward into that space with someone who doesn't even get that that's a concept. And that, of course, that will occur. And who you, you would reasonably expect might think, "If that craziness starts, will actually just include that. Therefore, this isn't a good relationship." And move away, which will hurt you, right? I mean, today you hear way too much of people who say, you know, "Somebody came in for a short period of time, and then the woman was upset because she had gone to all these deep, deep places." And then you hear projected into the world, a lot in the culture today, "Oh, the problem is she got too attached." No, the problem is not that she got too attached. The problem might be that she was not taken great. That's where self-care comes in. What were you doing allowing yourself to get attached in a context where there had actually been no agreement from the other person, where he even wanted you to get attached? Does that make sense?

Okay. So A Course of Miracles talks about this transition from the special relationship to the holy relationship. That the Holy Spirit brought you together, and then takes the relationship under His care and guidance for holization purposes. And a lot of what feels to us like pain and suffering is actually, if we allow it to be, the holizing process. This is what the Course of Miracles says. It's a section called "The Healed Relationship." It's very powerful. It's in p, on page 362 of the text. "The holy relationship is the expression of the holy instant in living in this world. Like everything about salvation, the holy instant is a practical device witnessed to by its results. The holy instant never fails. The experience of it is always felt. Yet, without expression, it is not remembered. The holy relationship is a constant reminder of the experience in which the relationship became what it is. And as the unholy relationship is a continuing hymn of hate in praise to its maker, so is the holy relationship a happy song of praise to the redeemer of relationships."

Okay. Now, what this means is the holy instant is an instant where I see you only as you are. I, I, I, I don't see your past. I'm not bringing your past into this moment. All I wish to do is to bless you and be blessed by you. Which is pretty easy if I just met you. You, however, that will not last long. So what starts to happen is that the, the hymn, the hatred, the ego mind comes in, and it has to do with expectations and how you behave and all that kind of stuff. So practicing the holy instant inside, inside romantic love or any relationship, you know, these relationships are very, very difficult. It's, am I willing to see you as you are? Now, am I willing to enter this meeting knowing that the only reason we are together is to be a blessing on each other? Now, look, there aren't that many people that are really going to understand the language. If you say, "I only want to have this love affair if you and I both understand that we're doing this in order to walk to God together," you know. And I don't, yeah. And not only are there people about whom you probably would best not use that language, but also don't kid yourself, because many people who would use that language, or at least would use it if it would get you at night, um, don't have a clue what it really means. Because to walk to God together means your stuff, your reasons for me to judge you and blame you will occur, and reasons for you to judge and blame me will occur, and reasons for me to find you not good enough will occur, and reasons for you to find me not good enough will occur. It will happen. It has to happen. That's the only way the relationship can grow and evolve. But, but are we committed that to the best of our ability, we will remain firm in knowing that the only reason that we are here is to own that in this moment, if I am having a judgmental thought about you, it is not about your behavior, it is about me being unwilling to accept your behavior. Now, that doesn't mean if you get to that place that you will necessarily be led to stay there. So you don't have to worry that the way of the spirit will keep you or draw you into dysfunctional relationships. You don't have to worry about that. You don't have to worry that the spirit of God is somehow less psychologically astute than you are. Does that make sense?

So the, the, the key to relationship is that you see it as a practice of the holy instant. So right there, look at this container. So your romantic love, whether the other person sees it that way or not, whether, and you know, they might not have the same language for this, but once again, the commitment has got to be there for it to be safe. Commitment to it being a spiritual process. So you start with that, that I understand that things will happen in this relation. You know, part of the training of A Course of Miracles, and this is, once again, it's attitudinal training. It's training those attitudinal muscles. Because the cornerstone belief of the ego is that no matter what is happening, it's about her, it's about him. And the cornerstone of the Holy Spirit's training is, "No, it's about me." And the temptation of the ego is always that somehow you're guilty. And the training of the Holy Spirit is, "No, you are innocent." Now, this sounds like lovely theory, but it is not always easy to apply in relationships. And it is particularly difficult at times to apply in romantic relationships. You with me so far?

The Course says, "The holy relationship is a major step toward the perception of the real world." And remember, the real world is heaven. It's not this craziness of dysfunction and pathology and anxiety and depression that is like this veil of ego soup. We want to get beyond this to peace of mind and happiness, and where humanity should be. Well, the holy relationship is a major step towards that. So that, right there, that right there.

So the ego says, "You want a relationship for your own purposes." And that's a big principle in A Course of Miracles. You think everything's about you. And that is, that's the malignant thought. The malignant cell in the body is one that says, "I'm not here to collaborate with other cells to serve the healthy function of the whole. I'm off to do my own thing." And that's, that's a malignancy. And it's a malignancy in the body, and it's also malignancy in consciousness. The problem with the universe is that with the human race is that we have been infected by malignant consciousness, consciousness that it's all about me. If, if I think it's all about me, I'm just looking for a relationship that completes me as I understand it. The container is no, is that because we are together, there will be a greater opportunity for you to more quickly become the person that you're capable of being, and I will have a greater qu, uh, possibility and opportunity to more quickly become the person I am capable of being. You will, because you are in relationship with me, every morning be blessed by me. Every morning, my training will be to remind you how wonderful you are. My training will be that every day, to the best of my ability, I will be a space in which you can more easily recognize your own glory, that you might become the man or the woman that you're capable of being.

Now, just that kind of thinking, think how very different that is than the ego thinking that dominates this culture. The ego thinking that dominates this culture has people going into their therapist, and the therapist asking you, "Is this relationship really fulfilling all your needs?" As opposed to, "In this relationship, are you really giving all you have? Are you generous in this relationship? Are you compassionate in this relationship? Or are you judgmental in this relationship? Are you always finding fault?" Now, none of this is easy, by the way. A Course of Miracles says each of us has a highly individualized curriculum. Now, there's no time in this section tonight. We could do a whole seminar on this. We don't, we don't have time to read all of this. But let me just go through some of these principles.

A Course of Miracles says, "Once you, the old unholy relationship becomes transformed and seen anew." So you go from the ego relationship to the, uh, holy relationship, from the special relationship to the holy relationship. "The holy relationship is a phenomenal teaching accomplishment in all its aspects. As it begins, develops, and becomes accomplished, it represents the reversal of the unholy relationship." And then it says, "Be comforted in this: the only difficult phase is the beginning. For here the goal of the relationship is abruptly shifted to the exact opposite of what it was. In other words, before the goal of the relationship was to get you to do what I want, and all of a sudden the goal is for us to serve God together." Which means, by definition, you, you are actually subconsciously programmed to do everything that will show me my blocks to love, so that I might become a more loving person. But I will become more, a more loving person when I realize how unloving I am in the presence of someone who acts like you, right? "Be comforted only in this: the only difficult phase is is the beginning. For here the goal of the relationship is abruptly shifted. This invitation is accepted immediately. The Holy Spirit wastes no time."

Now, I'm not going to, I can't, there's no time here to read the entire two pages of the rest of that, although we can after the break, if you like. But one of the things it talks about is how your ego will become very intense at this time, and finding all kinds of fault with your brother. Now, this is the issue in today's world, where there is so much sickness in this area, and there is so much dysfunction in this area, and there is so much commitment phobia, and there is so much avoidance, and there is so much addiction. It's so easy to find faults, because we have all become so smart and so intelligent about what the sickness looks like. But the fact that you can point to this particular sickness, psych, in the psychological dynamic with another person, still means that the issue is for you to be able to practice love in a particular moment and forgive. Now, once again, that doesn't mean you would necessarily stay there. But the Course of Miracles says in this section that the ego will begin to screech. The ego will begin to shriek. The ego will begin to talk about how, "Obviously, this is not the relationship for you. This is not the relationship for you." And the Course of Miracles says, I think that this is the only place in the Course of Miracles where it's italicized: "Hear not this." Now, it says, "This is not the time to reject your brother." And so this is what happens in the world today. We go only so far, and then everything breaks apart. Because once the really important stuff begins, the ego says, "Oh, this is awful." Now, sometimes, as the Course of Miracles says, it doesn't actually leave the other person physically, it just shuts down. And so what you see is relationships where people, they stay together, but what they do is just accommodate and basically go into numbness. And so the vital life force is cut off. So the Course of Miracles talks about that in that section. It says, "The ego says you don't necessarily have have to leave each other, but to cut off the vital juices, and then you actually have an excuse to stay together and not face those things, because you're not going to be intimate enough anymore that those things would even really be coming up. You figured a."

place you have subconsciously come to a place where you can accommodate each other's stuff so there's not serious growth going on. so there's not death and rejection. but neither is there the fostering of new life. does that make sense?

and the course of miracles says that is where we must have faith. now I understand why the Harvard study shows that even when people talk about telling young people about sex, they're still not talking about what a mature, healthy relationship is. I have a friend who was talking about, I think I mentioned this once before, a friend who was talking about her, her, her son in junior high school who was talking about oral sex that the other kids were having at school. and she was kind of freaked out and didn't, and was talking about the girls and giving the guys and the oral sex and all that. and she said, "I just didn't even know what to say to him." and I, and I said, "What you should say to him is, does he love her? That's what you should say. You don't avoid the topic. The kids are doing it. But also, it's not a sexual conversation."

the worst part of that, the worst part of it is not that he's only in the eighth grade and, and, and, uh, and they're getting, you know, oral sex at school. that, that's not of itself the worst. we could all have conversations about what age things should start. the worst part of it is the objectification, whether no matter how old he is. that's the worst part of it. and that's the conversation we're not having. it's not just a conversation about sex. sex, people kind of figure out. but what we're not having a conversation about is love. what we're not having a conversation about is commitment.

the issue is not to make the kid feel wrong. the kids are going to do what the kids are going to do. but that so much is done at such an early age and no one is even talking about why that people come together for a very holy purpose. and that, in, in when it comes to love and sex and mature relationship, when we do not see this as a container for holy energies, that energy, anytime there's powerful energy, it will either be used for you or against you. and when we're talking about nakedness, you know, physical nakedness is the least of it. in intimate love, we, it's not just that we get physically naked. that's relatively easy. but when we have gotten emotionally naked in front of another person, psychologically naked in front of another person, and that is treated casually, this hurts people. it hurts people. it hurts people on the level of the soul and on the level of the spirit, every bit as much as it hurts people physically if you just kind of knock them around physically.

and we, the theme for this, this period of time on the planet is that we must rise. we must rise to become men and women that many of us perhaps not even thought we needed to be in this lifetime. we have a, we've talked about this before, we have a crisis of adulthood in this, in this society. we have too many men who are still stuck in the, the mental temp of a boy. and we have too many women who's still stuck in the mental template of a girl. and all this victimization talk and just talking about what other people do wrong, all this trying to get what I want, I can, I get what I want in a relationship. this is so, and it poses as something spiritual, but it's not so spiritual. the highest spiritual mountaintop is not just getting what you want. and even this polyamory craze is interesting. I'm not being a judgment, but I am saying this because anything can be used by the Holy Spirit or by the ego. but even this polyamory craze, well, that's a perfect excuse to just move on when it got tough. because nobody ever has to go deep. if all you, if you just keep getting to have to go wide. we, we must grow now in ways that we had not expected in this lifetime to have to grow. we cannot avoid continue to avoid politics. if anything is obvious, it's where that takes us. we cannot avoid society. we cannot avoid economics. look what just happened in Manchester. these are very, very serious times. and we want to be available to God to be the men and women that we are capable of being.

love relationships, romantic relationships, when they go wrong, are debilitating. romantic relationships, when they go right, are platforms for our highest becoming. but this is just one area where we have been arrogant. where we have thought that it was all about our own thinking rather than God's thinking. and when the, from a course in miracles perspective, whether you are not in a relationship, whether you would like to be in a relationship, whether you are in a relationship, whether you were thinking about a relationship that happened long ago and are seeking to reconcile it, or envisioning the relationship that you would like, from a course in miracles perspective, there's only one issue. and that is that this experience be something that enables you and someone else to be a greater blessing on the planet. that your desire is to be the ble, a blessing in the life of someone. if I hear one more person, I'm writing down, "What is I want? What is I want? What it is I want and I'm manifesting it." half the time, if I, you know, there have been times in my life, if I got that guy, what I said I wanted, he'd be gone so quickly. so what was, why was there a point in me meeting him? rather than saying, "What I would have wanted is to be the woman that would be a blessing on someone's life."

now you might look at something like spiritual laws and say, "Well, what does that have to do with romantic law?" but it has to do with everything. you tell me, in the midst of the kind of craziness that inevitably comes up that I mentioned here tonight, non-reactivity. doesn't matter. what could be a greater tool in romantic love than that? you can hear what that other person is saying without freaking out. especially men and women. you know, men are, you know, I'm, I'm a big proponent of the philosophy of Pat Allen. she says, Pat Allen says, first of all, she says, "A man's greatest psychic craving is that his thoughts be respected." and a greatest, a woman's greatest psychic craving is that her feelings be cherished. you know, sometimes with love, it's not just about learning how to love, but learning what love feels like to the other person. but another thing that Pat Allen says that always fascinated me, she said, "Men don't like want to lie. they end up lying when the woman makes it so obvious that they will freak out if he tells her the truth." and if you're really honest with yourself, how many times at the beginning of relationships, you didn't ask the truth because you might not have really wanted to hear it? and how many other times when the man tried to tell you the truth, you weren't, you didn't have the capacity for non-reactivity? so a real rel, real conversation couldn't begin without your freaking out and judging him. how many times have we shown men a kind of disrespect for their thoughts and then not known why he wasn't attracted? how many times have men simply not known that cherishing the feelings of the woman? and once again, these issues are the same in gay relationships or straight.

we live in a society today though that we're not even giving the time to building that container or that sacred space. we don't wake up in the morning and, and pray together. and when the Catholics say, "The family that stays together prays together, stays together," that's not just because there's an injunction against divorce. for you to wake up in the morning with the person that you, that you love and pray together and ask that the Holy Spirit take this relationship under his guidance and that he sit at your table and sleep in your bed, and may you only see the innocence and the truth and love in each other today. and may you not be tempted to the thoughts that would lead you away from a deeper realization of the beauty in the other person, because those thoughts will be there.

so in romantic love, as within everything else, if we don't start taking time for God, if we don't start taking time for actually the lifestyle changes that are involved in getting this right, then at a time when we most need to be boosted, when we most need to be lifted up, we will continue to either have relationships that tear us down or relationships where we're together with someone, it doesn't exactly tear us down, but we can't honestly say it lifts us up either. and all of that can change. it changes, as the Bible says, in the twinkling of an eye. but the course of miracles says whether or something is holy or unholy is determined by our sense of its purpose. so that's the basic bottom line here. what is the purpose of your relationship? and if the purpose of your relationship is just all the hot and superficial stuff, and everything we can have that sometimes and it works and it's fun for a while, and then either the pain or the numbness begins to set in, and it cannot be otherwise.

so as we take the idea of the cultivation of a holy relationship into our hearts, then we completely change the paradigm. we are not looking just for fun, not at a time like this. we are looking for situations that allow us to become the men and women that we are capable of being. knowing that when we are deeply loved, and we are deeply accepted, and we are deeply affirmed. you know, I'm so tired of hearing how kids need their self-esteem to be propped up. what adult doesn't? at what age do we stop needing that? at what age do you st, you know, we talk about when the kid leaves the house, say, "How brilliant you are, how good you are." at what age do we stop needing that? that kid's not going to the workplace. that kid's not having to worry about the bills today. it's men and women, real men and women, who need somebody who, who's going to be there to tell you how beautiful you are, how good you are.

I remember going to a Harville Hendricks workshop many years ago with someone, and he had a very powerful thing where one partner, you sit, and then I remember he had to like circle me and just say all the wonderful things about me. and then he had to sit there, and I had to circle and say wonderful things about him. it was hard. Harville Hendricks is good. the Omega therapy in Mar, in Harville Hendricks is very much the secular annunciation of the spiritual principles in the Course in Miracles, where you were triggered by the childhood wound. and what he calls the old and the new brain, or what the Course in Miracles would call the, the, the ego or the Holy Spirit.

so what I invite you to do tonight is to take all of your thoughts. you know, the Course in Miracles says anything that has not worked in your life or is not working in your life is not just about what you did or did not do. and it's not just about what someone else did or did not do. it's about the way, the way we think about it, that is what gives birth to all the dysfunction. it was a thought that gave birth to the craziness in Manchester. it is a thought that gives birth to all behavior and all manifestation. and the Course in Miracles says that the, that the greatest power you have to change your world is to rethink it, to change your mind about it.

and before we go into the meditation, I just want to emphasize again what we're talking about here, which you may or may not say out loud, because in some situations it would sound ridiculous. I'm not asking you to say anything. we're talking about what you think. this does not make your love life less sexy. it makes your love life far more sexy because you feel safe. what's sexier than a person who feels safe? what's sexier than a person who feels comfortable in their skin? and so they're not grasping to control the other person. they're not grasping and trying to make something happen, or they're not putting out their hands all the time trying to get you to go away. so when you say, "May God's will be done," that just means, "May God's love be done. May I see the innocence in this person." Namaste is, is, is simply, "May the love in me salute the love in you. May I not see through the ego's eyes. May I see who be, how beautiful you are." and everybody, subconsciously knows everything. nothing is more attractive. nothing you can do can make you more attractive than for the person you are with to feel subconsciously. they won't even necessarily register it on a conscious level, but they will know if you are looking at them and thinking that they are beautiful and thinking that they are wonderful and blessing them throughout the day. and if it's, even if you can't go any further than that, you might be in a relationship. you might have been married to somebody for a long time, and it's just something's dried up. it might be something as simple as, as of this night, when you wake up in the morning, might be something you say to them when they leave the door, leave in the morning. but it might be just something you think. is you just blast them with love all day. blast them with blessing all day. blast them with forgiveness all day. it, the power lies inside us. and as much as our culture is so ego-oriented that it's all about what happens on the outside, both what I've seen in other people's experiences and what I've experienced in my own, the outside stuff goes only so far, maybe 10% really. and that 90% which is the inside stuff makes it or breaks it in the most real sense. does that make sense?

okay, so let's close our eyes. and the relationship that is called to mind has already appeared to us. it might be a relationship that you are already in. it might be a relationship from your past. it might be a relationship you long for. or it might even be that you don't even go there any longer. and in this sacred space, you recognize why we now ask the Holy Spirit of God to show us the sacred temple of romantic love within us. what does it look like? is it made of crystal? is it made of light? is it made of wood? what is this beautiful temple space within your consciousness? it is the place where God brought you together. and now see yourself joined by that person within that temple, in that moment where you recognized each other, in that place where your soul quickened, and so did theirs, at the recognition of a divine partner. so someone with whom, for however period of time, physical proximity would serve our soul growth. we stood together. revisit this place, the vision of which has been so eroded by pain and conflict, by boredom, by numbness. and remember that the light of that sacred joining, the truth you once knew, if only for a moment, is the only truth there is.

and now, as you to stand with this person, allow the voice for God to speak to you directly. where have you deviated? where did you abandon? where did you neglect? where did you fall short? where did you attack? where did you disrespect? where did you withhold attention? where did you run away? where did you have no mercy? allow yourself to go there. to allow these thoughts that live within you, the guidance and the illumination of the Holy Spirit to fill your mind, that you might see. and now turn to the spirit of this divine romantic partner, or any partner, and tell them in the silence of your heart that you are sorry. I'm sorry that I attacked, and I'm sorry that I blamed. I'm sorry that I neglected. I'm sorry that I didn't listen. I'm sorry that I held on to the past. I'm sorry that I behaved like a child. I'm sorry that I lacked courage. I'm sorry that I lacked patience. I'm sorry that I have not risen to the occasion of loving such a one as you.

allow these thoughts and realizations to come to us and begin the process here in the sacred space of making amends to the one you love. and now, in spirit, take the hand of this person and dedicate the relationship to God. whether it is past or present, or someone you haven't even met yet, is irrelevant. give the relationship to God. devote it to God to use for God's purposes. we pray for forgiveness for, for all of the places where we have allowed fear to block our love. and pray now for the opportunity to love more deeply, to approve, to affirm with generosity and care and blessing on another human being, the way God cares for us. we release that person from our condemnation and judgment and blame. we take our hooks out of them, our how they should be or how they should have behaved, that the hook of that unforgiveness shall now be removed from us. we free them from the past, that we ourselves might now be freed. praying only that they be loved, that they be blessed, and that they be happy. teach us, dear God, how to love one another. remove the blocks to the awareness of your presence, that we might see the infinite beauty and light of those you have sent us to love. let us lovingly release those who wish no longer to be here. and lovingly release those who we ourselves know we belong with no longer. but in this moment, we open to the miracle of divine and radical alchemical transformation, as we ourselves are rebuilt from deep within, as men and women capable and practiced and expert and masters at the highest love, that we ourselves might be a space for radical transformation in those around us, who find in our presence joyful capacity to be the person we know they are. dear God, may we begin again. our history, our love affairs, and our marriages. may they all be reborn. our thoughts about love radically transformed. no longer the casual, small-minded little issues of ego preoccupation, but lifted now to the grander and magnitude of divine purpose. may this temple of love we have visited tonight remain firmly imprinted upon our consciousness. let us visit here daily, that our hearts and our lives shall be made new. and so it is. together we all say, amen.

and thank you to Adam Isidor. now, before I make announcements, because we are in this conversation about relationships, I thought this would be a good one before we, we, we break into that. is there anybody who has any questions based specifically on the conversation that we've had so far tonight? anybody have anything? questions or anything like that? okay, good. all right, we're complete on that. and I will, uh, go to our announcements. um, as many of you know, to many of you, it's irrelevant, but to many of you, it's not. I've created a new online class that's beginning June 5th called Aging Miraculously. so just as, uh, the Course of Miracles, we take the principles of the Course and apply them to everything. uh, that, in that course, we apply it to that. uh, the, it begins on June 5th. you can, uh, go to marianne.com to get the information. details at agingmiraculously.com. the issue that we are dealing with here is that while the body ages, the spirit does not. and in this situation, as in everything, the Course of Miracles says enlightenment is a shift in self-perception from body identification to spirit identification. the more we identify with the soul, uh, our experience of the body changes. the more we identify with the, uh, experience of the body, the more detrimental that is, including to the body. the online course includes instructional videos delivered over a four-week period, two live calls that include, uh, Q&A coaching, private online community, and material that I am writing and will be delivered to you as part of the course. again, you can go to agingmiraculously.com or to marianne.com to find out more.

for those of you here in New York, particularly, I, well, actually not. I will be with Deepak Chopra tomorrow night at ABC Home Base, carpet and home, but I think it's sold out. we're talking about integrative politics. I think the event is sold out. that's tomorrow at 7 PM. but it's available on Facebook Live. but these Facebook Lives, I've, I've had quite a few experiences where the sound isn't good enough. so I don't know. but it will be on Facebook Live. and I hear the event is sold out. okay. I will be doing a, a weekend event called My Miraculous Life at Omega Institute, June 30th through July 2nd. uh, if you want to know more about that, a weekend experience that will be, uh, also on marianne.com. a couple of things here in New York. I'll be speaking briefly at the Educational Alliance first annual event and Expo, 6:00 to 8:00 PM on Wednesday, May 31st. that free event takes place at the penthouse at the Manny Cantor Center at 197 East Broadway. and I, I'm happy to support that event because it is all about education of people 50 years and older. I will, uh, you can find out about that at marianne.com. I'll also be doing a benefit talk for another great organization, the Inner City Foundation for Charity and Education. their annual ladies luncheon that is June 3rd, June 1st, Thursday, June 1st in Greenwich, Connecticut. so, uh, if you're interested in any of that, in Greenwich or here, or anything, please contact, uh, please look at marianne.com. all details, all that, marianne.com. if you're not on my email list and you'd like to be, I would appreciate that. uh, my books and CDs and all that back there. and I think some out there also want to take this opportunity to thank all the great volunteers who really enable all this to happen. and Gail, thank you for letting us be here. okay. okay.

let's talk about anything you want to talk about. uh, raise your hand. I will try, try to the best of my ability to say something useful. yes, ma'am. hi, Marianne. um, last week I thanked you for teaching me how to pray. I started coming here last fall after reading "A Return to Love" and had my mind blown and opened and kapow. um, and then I asked last week also for special prayers for my parents. I'm at the point to take care of them now. and last fall when I was coming, I asked one day for special prayers for my boyfriend who has drinking issues. so this past weekend, a woman walks into my life, and she works in a nursing home, and she is an Al-Anon sponsor. you told me, "Go to Al-Anon." so I now have an Al-Anon sponsor. and I know it's because of the prayers I'm saying, and I'm doing the workbook. I'm up to day 119. so it's working for me. and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I don't take any credit for that because anybody who heard your story would suggest Al-Anon. absolutely. okay. okay. who, is somebody over here? yes, sir. hi. hi. how are you? hi. fine. you want to, if, if it's comfortable for you, stand up so that the people on live stream can see. oh, sure. hi. um, yeah, my, your, you said some really beautiful things up there. thank you. um, my question is, I'm going to be here so that they can see you. sure. is how you would, how you would recommend someone choose a partner. um, you know, you talked a lot about the sort of, uh, way that love is not exclusivist, right? but it seems to me that when you choose a partner in romantic love, you're, that choice is inherently not egalitarian, because the fact you're supposed to love everybody doesn't mean you're supposed to sleep with everybody, right? exactly. okay. like, do make that clear. okay. so this, so this is the issue. from a Course in Miracles perspective, it says we are to make no choices and make no decisions by ourselves. so when it comes to that, as much as to anything else, the more you pray, the more you meditate, the Course in Miracles, doing the workbook exercises, whatever your practice is, the more of a finely tuned intuitional instrument you are. we have become. we are too quick in our society. we are assaulted, uh, by this bombardment of ultimately meaningless stimulus all the time. too many of us lack impulse control for that very reason. and that's what meditation does. that's what prayer does. something like that, particularly when, when you know, and I think this is a very significant issue for the reasons we talked about earlier tonight, uh, in men and in women, uh, when it comes to picking a sexual partner, it should not be a quick decision. it should not be a casual decision. too much is at stake. this is people's, this is people's psyches we're talking about here. and casual, you know, casual decisions in this area can be harmful and are deeply out of integrity. you, our society doesn't use words like character and integrity and ethics enough. and it is unethical to, to get involved in a deep romantic situation with someone where you yourself do not really, having prayed about this and thought about this, feel that you are guided by God to make the deeper efforts involved. and it's either lacking in self-care for yourself. and this has to do with men, women, gay, straight, uh, but it's lacking in self-care for yourself to be casual about the decision. and it's lacking an ethics towards another person to be casual about the decision. and you know, a lot of times with men, uh, they'll say something like, "Well, I'm really, I, I don't really, I'm not really looking for a relationship." and the woman ignores the communication and then, you know, thinks things like, "Well, he hasn't been with me yet." well, he was honest. and then complains when, actually, he had said that. and a lot of times, a woman is saying, "Well, I'm not really looking for a relationship." but usually, usually with a woman, that's actually betrayal of her, her, her deeper heart's feeling. but she's come to the point of just deciding, "I can't get more." so I'll just pretend to go along with that, even to myself. and as I, I say, I say in my book, "A Return to Love," which has become a line that's rather well known, uh, "If the train doesn't stop at your station, it's not your train." you know, it's true that if you, if you were more honest about the fact that you really were looking for something deeper and he's not interested, that's okay. let that go because there's another train behind that one. but the, we are as a culture, um, not careful and reflective enough about that decision. so how do you know? your spirit will tell you. God will tell you. but it's like any other conversation. you have to stay in the conversation long enough to really hear what, what is being said. and also, another thing we do is we, and I think women do this, I don't know if this is true of men, but sometimes we don't have the larger conversation with the man because we're afraid to. we're afraid it might run him off, or, you know, to really, to know what he is there for and what he is interested in. and a lot of times then later, the woman feels like, "He didn't this or that." and then either he or someone else points out, "He never said he would." you know what I mean? so it's that whole thing of what it takes to build a container. and we're not children anymore. that's the point. you know, too many, it, it's one thing. I mean, I was in my 20s. you know, I understand that, you know, this is when you're a team and you're 20, this is when this is all worked out. but there are too many people in our culture who in their 30s and their 40s and 50s and beyond are still going through these things. it's particularly causing, uh, trouble among women because women have, have issues of childbearing years and limits in terms of the age of the ovaries that men do not have. and this should be honored and respected by women and by other women and by men. does that make sense? and does that answer your question? thanks. you. yes, ma'am. over there. so you say that, thank you, by the way, for your talk. it was incredibly enlightening. um, when you say God will answer, but you also, when I say God, what, when you say God will answer, right? like, you pray and God will answer. for me, I have resistance to that. okay. but you had said God/love, and love, I get on a deep level. so how I understand, okay. so the Course in Miracles actually uses the phrase "the voice for God." I mean, it actually, it is a large part of the philosophy of a Course in Miracles that there is a voice for God. now, the Course in Miracles says sometimes, uh, spirit speaks to you through your brothers. sometimes it is like a conversation you have with a friend who just gives you that peace, or a book that you read, or somebody you don't even know who says something. so it's not like the voice for God never comes to other people because sometimes it does. but the ultimate check-in is in your own gut and your own heart. now, it's not as simple as, you know, one sounds like, you know, the ego sounds like Taylor Swift, you know, and the spirit's Harry Styles or something. it's not like that. they're both your voice. but the Course in Miracles says, you know, you heard correctly if you are at peace. if you are at peace. and I think a lot of times the problem is not that we didn't hear. the problem is that we didn't like what we heard. so a lot of times we say, "Well, I don't know." you absolutely know. and I say here all the time, whatever you hear while you're in a room like this, listen to yourself. because when you're in a room full of people who are praying together, it's difficult to lie to yourself. because it's, you're not confused. you might be sad about what you hear, but it's less confusing. that's really the value of meetings and congregational experiences. does that make sense? and also, the other thing is, take your time. in too many things. you know, this is true in business, definitely, but it's also true in love. you don't owe it to anyone to rush to a decision. we feel too rushed in our society. we don't value reflection enough. we don't value deep consideration enough. you know, if you're in a business meeting or in a, in a relationship thing, you might not, the words of, you know, "Can I pray about this and get back to you?" might not be the appropriate words to use. but, you know, you can just say, "I need a few days to think about this," or whatever. does that make sense? and the issue of whether or not to join in, in a deep romantic attachment, the idea of, of, of movies and the experiences of youth, um, aside, for most adults, that is something about which it is reasonable and mature and meaningful and spiritual to go through the conversations within your heart and perhaps conversation with the other person that would really determine whether or not that sacred container will be there, outside of which people get hurt. and people getting hurt, when your heart gets hurt and your psyche gets hurt, that's no less important than when your, when your body gets hurt. and, and most of us, if we're honest with ourselves, have the scars to show that. does that make sense? yes, ma'am. in the back there. hi. um, so my question to you is about health. health. yeah. and how does one, I know obviously everything is in, is in prayer and connection to God, and it's in, in his hands ultimately. but how does one continue on a path of difficult health since childhood and find the continuation and kind of the hope that there is? have you been dealing with physical, not, not myself personally, but a loved one. okay. yeah. does this person have a serious spiritual path? I believe deep down, but I think that she's been very disillusioned and disappointed, almost by that, that like God's response has not been quick. and, and that she, well, if you're looking at God as your errand boy and he doesn't produce what you sent him out to get for you immediately, um, I understand where you would feel disillusioned. but as the Course in Miracles says, disillusionment is a good thing. it means you're no longer under an illusion. because what's an illusion? there is the belief that that's what God is about. but I mean, if it's like something that's been, that someone has struggled with since childhood, you know, that someone has struggled with since childhood. no, I understand. I understand. so let me tell you what the principle is in the Course in Miracles. the Course in Miracles says the body, now, what you would say to this person, I don't know. no, I'm just telling you what the principle is, and you take that and apply that, and that relationship is, is befits you. the Course in Miracles says that the body, it's not who you are. you take off your clothes at night. your body is still there. you take off your, your body, your spirit will still be there. your body is only a suit of clothes. and it's a priceless suit of clothes, and it should be treated very, very well. but it itself is only a suit of clothes. the Course in Miracles says the body, and this goes back to the whole conversation we're having tonight, the, the whole sexual thing. the Course in Miracles says the body, as everything else, is holy or unholy as determined by the purposes the mind ascribes to it. the body itself, the Course in Miracles says, is neutral. so whether it's sex or anything else you do, if it is used for God's purposes of deeper joining, then it is a holy thing. but like sex would be an example, and I know I'm going a little bit off the health thing, but I'll get back there. so the ego uses sex as a substitute for communication. the spirit uses sex as a deepening of communication. now, the Course in Miracles says that, remember what I said a few minutes ago, that enlightenment is a shift in self-perception from body identification to spirit identification. now, when I identify with my body, what does that mean? I, and what's real to me are my circumstances. what's real to me is what's going on in the mortal world. what's real to me are the past and other people's thoughts about me and mine of them and successes and failures. and you live on that level of what's going on on in the worldly domain. and that is your belief about what life is. the Course in Miracles says that puts a burden on the body that the body was not intended to carry. and that is what creates sickness. I mean, look, most, most sicknesses emerge from stress. that's what stress is. the body, your life is not about what's going on in your body. the body is just a suit of clothes. and it's, it's a helpful learning device. and it supports you in your purpose. it is not your purpose, however. now, the Course in Miracles says the body heals when we're not looking at it. so the, and, and that makes sense, doesn't it? your mind is just, it's away from it for a while, and then it can regenerate more easily. and that's why I ask if your friend has a serious spiritual practice. nothing is more, more beneficial to the person dealing with health issues than a serious meditation and prayer practice. and one of the reasons it could even be because, in, remember when you meditate, whether it's the Course in Miracles or anything else, you are taken to your right alignment. now, right alignment might include meeting this amazing chiropractor. right alignment might include learning about this amazing herb. you know, it's not like spirit, the Course in Miracles, I don't know, is anybody here familiar with, um, Christian Science? okay. Christian, not many. Christian. the philosophy of Christian Science is basically the same philosophy as Course in Miracles. spirit is real, matter is not. but where Course in Miracles differs from, from, uh, Christian Science is that the Course in Miracles says the Holy Spirit will enter in on the level of your belief system. so it's the spirit of God that is healing you. but if your belief system is such that a direct healing would be kind of blow out your circuitry, it's too much for you to accept, it will come in the form of a particular medicine because it will enter in on the level. but you're meditating. so you're meditating and praying might mean that you do end up with a particular medicine. but the very fact that you meditated and prayed will actually increase the possibility that you meet that doctor. does that make sense? yes. yes, it does. thank you. thank you very much. I, I'd really appreciate it, Marianne, if we could pray for this person. I'm sorry, sorry, sorry to impose. I don't mean to at all. but I'd appreciate if we could pray for this person. sure. be glad to. what is the name of this person? Sarah. Sarah. let's pray for Sarah. and I'm sure that Sarah is not the only person, uh, there could be people dealing with illness in this room, on live stream, someone that is in your heart that you, that you're thinking of. so absolutely. let's say this prayer of physical healing. dear God, we pray that you send the divine physician to Sarah. dear God, she has been ill off and on for a very long time. we pray that the hand of the Holy Divine Physician, by the name of Jesus, or any other, be upon her and upon anyone else in this room who needs the presence of the Divine Physician in your body and in your mind. and if there is anyone for whom we wish the miracle of physical healing, we say their name to God. and so it is. together we all say, amen. yes, ma'am. it's nice to see you again. I was, um, involved in organizing your event when you were running for congress in LA, Cal, Los Angeles. thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for inspiring us. um, my question is about spiritual discipline. um, I have developed over the past years a practice of writing a prayer in the morning and at night. I also, another person said learned from you a lot about prayer that isn't just reciting words. um, and I know that I would be benefited by a real meditation practice as well. um, and any other number of kind of spiritual additions to my life. um, and I find that one of the things that gets in my way is, um, like my, my own resistance or rebellion, and being afraid of triggering that rebellion. wait a minute. okay. I lost you on that one. yeah. a sense of rebellion and a fear of triggering that rebellion. what do you mean by that? in the past, when I've attempted at some points to bring new things into my life that I knew were supportive to me and good for me overall, a person bring, my, no, bring like practices or bring things into my life, um, I can sometimes go the other way or become rebel against them. yeah, I think that's all of us. yeah. so just wanted to hear, um, if you have any thoughts about bringing, instituting new amounts of discipline. take, don't take yourself too seriously here. you know, I think keep it light. life is very serious. the more seriously you take yourself, the less seriously you're going to take the world. the world is very serious right now. so don't take yourself too seriously. you know, you're going to make it. some days, some days you're going to fall off the wagon. some days you're not. it's like physical exercise. some days you're going to do it. some days you're not going to do it. but lighten up on that on yourself, I would think. because you're not lightening up on yourself is an act of rebellion. so the act of rebellion is not just that you didn't do it. the act of rebellion is that you're beating up on yourself for not doing it. the ego is both that which leads us to do the wrong thing and then punishes us savagely for having done so. but I think that the most significant discipline that the Course in Miracles is asking for is not that you did your prayers or meditation today, but that you were a kinder person today. that you forgave others today. that you were less judgmental today. that you were less harsh today. that you were less greedy today. that you were less controlling today. that's, that's the rebellion that we want to watch out for. does that make sense? it's all about how we are with other people. you know, the Course in Miracles says heaven is entered two by two. heaven, which is the awareness of our oneness. so it's really about our relationships with other people. you can't talk about relationship with God that's meaningful without including our relationship with other people. that make sense? okay. who's next? hi. hi, everybody. thank you. hi, everyone. hi, Marianne. um, I meditate. I pray. um, I set alarms on my phone for my angels to tap me on the shoulder during the day. I have a twin sister who's an addict, and she's on disability, she's on, you know, uh, medic, whatever. today she asked me if she could borrow money. and I, if she could, if she could borrow money from me, and she would pay me when she gets her check the first of the month. so I said, "What? You know, it's been an expensive month for me, my graduations, etc. life." and I said, "How, but how much do you need?" "$250." it's like, "Wow, what happened? Are you okay?" and she was honest. she said she needs to, her pain management doctor is only giving her 60 milligrams of whatever, and she needs 80. so blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. we can all write the story. I can, you know. and in any event, I pray about her. I even went to see her in April. I, I, I can't do this. and then there's a part of me that says, "I can't not do it." but I can't give her this money. I can't. and does that mean, you know, like, I, is it my ego playing a guilt trip? close your eyes for a moment. you know, close your eyes for a moment. and God does not need you to make this decision for him. simply ask. remove all your thoughts about this. and simply ask, "Dear God, should I give her the money?" what do you get? no. that's the answer. I'm going to have to let her go then. what? I have to let her go. it's her choice. well, I, you have to let go. it's your choice. maybe yes, maybe no. that, that, I can't give her the money for this. okay. hold on. please. let me just talk about the Course for a moment. the issue from a Course perspective, you may be right. that may, you, you have to let her go. you could also be right from a spiritual perspective. she's your sister. she needs the money. it's $250. so I'm not, I, it's not for me or for us to be enrolled in that one way or the other, because I don't know. but the fact that you pray, that's that's the Course. "Dear God, should I give her the money?" not any of the theorizing. not, "I need to let her go." because you could use lines in the Course of Miracles to justify giving her the money. you could use lines in the Course of Miracles where it talks about, "To hurt if you allow a brother to hurt you, it is hurting them." that would justify giving it. and so you could also find lines in the Course of Miracles where it talks about, "To hurt if you allow a brother to hurt you, it is hurting them." so from a Course in Miracles perspective, it's about not figuring it out. the Course in Miracles is very Eastern that way. we talking before about the Zen mind, the beginner's mind. when he says in the, in, in the Course of Miracles, he talks about the line, "Be as a little child." and that the reason that line is in the Bible is because children know that they don't know. so as a Course in Miracles student, the technique, the problem-solving modality would be simply, "Dear God, should I give her the money?" it wouldn't be any of the other figuring it out. does that make sense? and so if you pray and you get a no, then that's the answer. but not because you have to let her go and she has.

To learn her any of that, it's only because the spirit of God knows the larger is the part of your mind that knows the larger picture much more than you do and knows how your behavior fits in and what the other person really needs and what's going to happen tomorrow. So, as a course principle, just whatever, whatever your prayer is, and if you get no and do you feel at peace with that? I might have to meditate a little bit more about it, honestly. I, you know what, my, what I would, I really have to, you know, have to think about it more. I think, well, I have to pray about it more. Well, but let's talk about this for a moment. I'm sorry, the Course in Miracles doesn't say if you pray enough about it, finally the answer will come. The answer has come to you, and I don't know, and you know deep in your heart, and I don't, and I'm not putting you on the spot here, but usually the issue is not that you don't know and need to pray more. The issue is that you pray the answer may or may not have gone along. The Course of Miracles says what the Holy Spirit says will often seem startling to you. So sometimes what happens when you quote unquote think about it is different than what you will get when you pray because there's the psychological dynamic of your sisterhood of her addiction, and then there is the soul dynamic that may or may not align in obvious ways all the time, right? So why don't we just pray about it with you, and then what you see after that, and as you move forward, does that sound like a good idea? Sure. Okay, tell me your name again. Joan. Joan, right? And your sister's name? Bonnie. Does that sound good? Stay prayer together? Yeah. Okay. And this is for anybody here or watching on live stream who has a decision to make. This is, this is a large part of what the Course of Miracles is about, that you don't make decisions for yourself, that there is a part of your mind that knows things you don't know. You can't know with your conscious mind how your part fits into the large, larger plan, plus you don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. Does that make sense?

Dear God, We join with Joan as she puts in your hands her relationship with Bonnie. We know that you know, dear God, she has a decision to make, and that is whether or not to say yes to her sister's request for $250. We join with Joan as she empties her mind of all her own ideas and thoughts about this and asks that only your thoughts, higher thoughts, remain. She completely puts this question in your hands and asks, in this and in all things, that your will be done. And now, all of us take this opportunity. If there are any questions or decisions to be made that we're dealing with in our own lives, we put this question in the hands of God. We put this decision to be made in the hands of God, and we pray for illumination and guidance and truth. And so it is. Together, we all say Amen. Anybody else tonight? Okay. You, you, you. Okay. Yes, ma'am. Hi. So my mom passed away two and a half years ago, uh, stomach cancer. It's really terrible. And, uh, I'm having a really hard time forgiving my father for the kind of terrible relationship he had with my mother. And, uh, I had this really strong anger towards him, and, uh, I regularly get into it with him, and I've been a really big jerk, and I've said things to him like, "That should have been you, not my mother." And all this. In other words, you've learned how to act from your father, so you're treating your father the way you feel your father treated your mother. That's probably accurate. And I mean, I've come here several times, and it's like, I know theoretically, I know what there is to do and all about forgiveness, and I've had many opportunities in life to forgive a variety of things, but I'm having a really difficult time with this.

Well, that's, you know, you know the theory, you know the abstract, right? But enlightenment begins as abstract concept and then makes its journey without distance, and that comes from prayer and meditation and serious work. Are you doing the Course in Miracles itself? Uh, no. Yeah. So if you, so where you are stuck is that you know the theory, you know the concept, and that does not warm you at night, and it doesn't heal your life. It just makes you more impressive at parties. So if you wish to have the peace that only forgiveness will bring, which will include a peace in your heart after he dies, then I recommend that you consider actually, if these ideas call to you, looking at the workbook of the Course. Even if it's 30 days, if you start doing the workbook of the Course of Miracles, and then at the end of 30 days, you feel like, you know, this is not the path, you know, there's one truth, many paths, you might feel like it's not the path for you, but that will not have been a waste of your time because only the hand of God can erase the memories and and dismantle those wires, those crossed wires within you where he did this and he did that, and if he hadn't done like all, all of that stuff that is plaguing you, and it is not serving you, it is not serving him, it is just further disease, right? Does that make sense? But we'll be glad to say a prayer with you, and then you have a decision here to make of your own, and that's how deep you wish to go into the waters of forgiveness. And a lot's going to happen from this prayer too. Does that make sense? Yes. What is your name? Mia. Mia. And what is your father's name? Albin. Albert. Okay, let's pray for Mia and Albert. And there might be someone in your life that you're having a hard time forgiving. So, you know, the principle is the same. So if forgiveness is an issue for you, by all means, enter the prayer with that person.

Dear God, We join with Mia as she places in your hands her relationship with her father, Albert. May this relationship be lifted to Divine Right Order, above and beyond the walls that would separate them. May a great wave of forgiveness come upon them both. May they see only the innocence within themselves and each other. May all illusion of guilt now fall away, that thus this relationship might be reborn. A path of light paved before them for their sake and for Mia's mother's sake, who from where she is, deeply loves them both. All of us place in God's hands any unforgiveness that we ourselves carry towards anyone. And so it is. Together, we all say Amen. Somebody else back there? There were a couple more. Okay, this gentleman, and then that gentleman. Okay. Hi. Hi. I'm so happy to meet you. Thank you. Happy to meet you too. You're awesome. Thanks. Takes one. One. So there's a Harvard study which you brought at the beginning, started in 1938, and it's primarily, um, health-focused study, um, and has evolved into the, uh, adult development, um, area where they took, uh, originally 250 Harvard graduates and did complete biometrics on them for the rest of their lives. So it's almost 80 years now, and it's expanded now into their, uh, descendants. There's more than 2,000, um, participants in the study, and there's a Ted lecture on it, but it's, it's worth looking into because the results are very surprising. Of all the things that, uh, folks self-reported where they were happy, and the clinical facts that they had lower blood pressure, they eliminated diseases, um, reduced addiction, and lived longer than anybody else. When you take a look at, were they addicted? Were they overweight? Where they, did they exercise? Did they, um, uh, do the things? Did they smoke? The one thing that is common in all the longest-living people is that they, and healthiest longest-living people, is that they had deep, meaningful relationships. Duh. Yeah. Like we, you know, and that's what's sick about this culture. We think we need Harvard to tell us this. So I just wanted to contribute. Yeah. Thank you.

Well, it's good for us to, uh, to say, even Harvard says it. No, it is true. And there have been numerous studies like this. Um, married people, uh, live longer. Uh, this has been, just like we know that the, the $25 million study on mentoring, what makes kids learn. We now know the single largest, most important issue in in the ability of children to learn is that one adult who does not even have to be a relative, spends one hour with them saying that they care. One hour a week. I mean, one hour a week. The presence of one adult who indicates that they care whether or not they do well in school. So other people are everything. Yeah. And this is the conversation we're having here. It's like other people, our relationships to other people. And we have a society in which that kind of, oh yeah, that even though we know we're all desperate for it. Does that make sense? So thank you for telling us that. That's, that's great. Okay. Yes, there was somebody over here. Somebody. Okay. Yes, sir. Um, parenting advice, please. Um, my wife and I have two sons, six and three. Um, and we're getting to those, uh, uh, questions about everything. Um, when I grew up, I was brought up partly Catholic, and God was a guy with a beard who created everything in seven days. Um, so we're getting questions. My eldest asked me about the Big Bang the other day. So I tried to explain. Then he asked me if Michael Jackson was there at the time. I said, probably. Um, and then he said, "Who's God?" And this is something that I haven't really thought about because I've evolved so much spiritually since I was forced to be Catholic. So how do I tell a six-year-old what God is?

Well, let me ask you, what do you think God is? Because you said you have evolved spiritually. Yeah. I haven't had to put it in words to myself. I mean, I tried to tell him that God is energy, and we're all energy, and he's come to this conclusion now that when we die, we all go back into energy, and energy came from the stars, and so that's where we've both got to at the time. It sounds real good. I would suggest that you add love to that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's the only thing. Like, I mean, I think that's a beautiful explanation. I also think, and I, I have a book, I'll, I'll give you. I wrote a book called "Emma, Mommy, Talk to God," although it's not in print anymore, so I have to get it on eBay myself. It's funny, um, but I do have a, I'll be glad to give to you because that's about the age. Um, that was a great answer. And if the love part's there, and I also think that parents have a natural ability for the spiritual wisdom. You are just like, you know how to take care of your children. You know, know how to physically take care of your children. You know how to emotionally take care of your children. You actually also know how to spiritually inform your children. It's just a matter of, like, a muscle we haven't been using. And it sounds like you did great. And that, and what, what could be more beautiful? And I, I would have answered the same way about Michael Jackson. And by the way, I want to say something about the Big Bang Theory. The Course in Miracles totally aligns with the Big Bang Theory because it says that this whole mortal world was born in an instant. It happened in an instant, an instant of unforgetting, but an instant. So, I, my sense is for you to just allow yourself to be more comfortable with exactly what you're saying, but just never leave out the love part. And when your kids have a problem, don't hesitate to say, "Why don't we just say a prayer about that? Why don't we say a prayer about that? Oh, you know what you need, honey? You need a miracle. Let's pray for a miracle." And then also, if another kid is a problem at school, to we teach our children spiritually, not through, um, making it some other section like Sunday school. We teach them spiritually situationally. There's a problem, let's pray for a miracle. Everything gets solved. Oh, let's remember to thank God. Uh, if somebody, if somebody is a problem at school, to say to that child, you know, I want, I wonder, I mean, I don't know, but I wonder if maybe at home they're not happy. I just don't know. I don't know if their mommy and daddy are happy. Do you think? You know, the ways you can start putting their minds that what the other child might be feeling, so that's it. It worked for me. It's like just using her life, my daughter's life, as, I mean, there's almost nothing that you can't. And then it doesn't become, and then it becomes what you really want it to be, and what we wish it all was for us, not a separate category of life, but just the way they see everything. Does that make sense? Do I think you're sounding beautifully to me? Okay. Anybody else? Okay. Somebody else back here? No, no. Okay. One more down there. One more here. Somebody down there. Okay. We just have one more and we're done. Yes. Thank you. Hi, Marian. Just a really quick question. Um, I, I started doing, uh, reading the text of the Course about a couple of months ago and started doing the, uh, couple of weeks ago. And just a question, you know, I eat my breakfast in the morning and I read the text, read the, the workbook, and I think about yesterday's lesson, okay, in the workbook. And I feel like I'm, like I realize that I'm not, that I'm not necessarily following the instructions completely. Like, if they, they say to do it three or four times during the day. And if I didn't do it, is it appropriate to do the same day again? Most, most of us do. I always, because I don't know anybody who has perfectly done three this day, four this day. And the last thing the Course wants is for it to be something that you beat up on yourself about. Most of us, myself included, uh, I did that yesterday, but I didn't really do it well enough, so I'm going to do that one again today. After about three days, it's like, go on. There's no graduation day. I mean, you're going to come back, you know what I'm saying? So, I, I, that's, I think very normal. Just curious about that. Yeah. Okay. Okay. All right. Okay. Yes, ma'am. Okay. Oh, hi Rory. Hi. Great to see you. Um, so I see you in LA all the time. I live in New York. Praying all day long. I have like 10 days and I have to have God to make a decision. Are you going to give up your apartment in New York? Are you going to go back to LA? There's no job either way in New York or LA. So I gave it like a month to see which way I can go. I gave seven years in LA and it didn't work, but I'm really like, in like, I have to make a decision. So I went to the doctor, say I want to be vulnerable about it, and I'm thinking, oh, medication. I never been on it, and I'm thinking, oh, I need to be on Adderall. I'm just speaking vulnerable right now because I can't. I'm thinking, I'm praying nonstop, and I'm like, I have to make a decision. Why am I proc? Like, why isn't anything? I'm really trying to understand. You couldn't decide whether you should move to live in New York or LA, and so your mind said that's a reason to take Adderall? Well, we can remove that for a second. The point is that it's been going on for so many years that I went that route today. I didn't take it. I'm just here today to get the, the spiritual medicine. I understand. But I'm still not understanding even the, like, I can't make a decision of where I will be the happiest because I like both places, and I can't. I have to make a decision because I own a place and I have to rent it, or I have to go back to my place in LA. I can't just be in flux like, oh, like for too long. Make a decision. You have to make. And I've been praying nonstop, and the answers aren't coming.

When you say you've been praying nonstop, do you do a serious spiritual practice meditatively every day? So I would suggest, and you said you've been coming to my lectures, LA, okay? So if you come to my lectures, and thank you, that means that you are drawn to the ideas and A Course in Miracles. So that says to me, there is a chance that the, the Course in Miracles material would would please you. Well, you know how I got to you today? A stranger told me you were in town. Okay. I was coming out of the bookstore. No, no, it's great. That's why. No, it's not about that. It's about decision making, and it's not clear. You're looking in the mirror, you're like, okay, I really want like some sort of real concrete. I'm putting resumes out all over LA, all over New York, and nothing. I can tell you this much, though. A quieting of the mind, not an upper, would be helpful. So a quieting of the mind so that you could hear what the voice is saying. The problem, problem that you have from a Course in Miracles perspective is not whether or not to go to LA or New York. The problem you have is that your mind is all over the place. And so whether if it's LA, New York, or anything else, because in adult life, all of us have to make decisions like whether I live in New York or LA. In adult life, we all have to make decisions like, do I continue the lease here or should I move? It that is part of adult life. So the issue is, as we were saying tonight, decision making. So I want to ask you a question. When we prayed a while ago, and we put decision, the decisions in God's hands a few minutes ago, what did you get? He said, you need to go and try to find on YouTube, uh, meditation tonight and have a guided meditation. Oh, that's beautiful. Well, that's exact. And, and, and that's what you got tonight. Okay. I get messages like that all the time. It's just not the. Okay. Do you, do you have the Course in Miracles? No. Okay. So we'll get you. Tina, I mean, sorry, Tiffany. What is your name? Rory. Rory. So give Rory a copy of the Course in Miracles. And do we have that meditation tape of mine here? The daily meditations? Do we have that? Okay. And they're going to get you the meditation tape. And this is all so that you can't say you don't have it. Okay. So I recommend to you that you, because that's what you want to pray for is the quieting of the mind so that you can hear. Now, beyond that, okay, you live in New York, you live in LA, um, and it, it doesn't even, it doesn't matter as much as you're making it. What matters is the quieting of your mind. Does that make sense? Yeah, I get it. So I'm not going to take the medicine. That's just a miracle for me to just even be like telling everyone about it, you know what I'm saying? Like, that's huge vulnerability. Like I'm, like, don't want to, but yet I'm like crying inside of like, I, it's, you know, I'm 44. I want to be married. I want to have kids. This all this future stuff. And it's like, there's decisions that you have to make. Bearing yours, you say, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, where do you want to see your life? Not only about the living. Your mind doesn't become quieter, you're going to have a hard time getting that partner who wants to have that baby with you. I'm just going to meditate and not take the drugs. Good idea. Okay. And what did you say your name is, honey? Rory. Rory. Okay. We're going to pray now. And as my mother would say, God willing, we will be here next week. Okay, let's pray.

Dear God, We join with Rory and place the decision of where she should be in your hands. And we pray that your spirit come upon her, dear God, and give her peace of mind and inner quiet. May she feel your presence within and upon her. We pray for Kevin and for Lurella, for Mark, for Susan, for Marlo, for Bruno, for Luigi and Kevin, Jennifer and Judith. We pray for Peter, for Cheryl and her son. We pray for Jenny and her child within her. Adri. We pray for Josh and for Hlee, for Robert and for Maria. We pray for Omar, for Rosalba and Sarah, for Don, for Joel, for Hope, for Val and for Jennifer. We pray for Bell and for Brian and Blanche and for Mike. We know, dear God, that you know what the soul of each of these dearly beloved children of your cry out for. All of us now put our burdens, our fears, as well as our hopes, our wishes, and our visions in your hands. And now go forth in confidence and go forth in peace, for there are angels to your left, and there are angels to your right. There are angels in front of you, and angels behind you. There are angels above you, and angels below. Wherever you go, God goes with you, for God is closer than your very breath. There is a path of light already paved before you. And if at any given moment, walking on this path seems confusing or fearful, put out your hand before you, as would a little child for an elder brother, looking someone to guide you and put you back on the path and guide your footsteps along it. This is no idle fantasy. He is here. May our having been together tonight, dear God, serve your purposes. May each of us feel your blessing upon us, the goodwill we send to one another, and may we bless the world. And so it is. Together, we all say Amen. God bless you, everybody. Thank you.