Transcription
Hi everyone, welcome back to my channel. If you're new here, I'm Courtney Ryan, and today we're going to be going over six foolproof, easy ways to tell that a woman is toxic. And I think every single guy on the planet should watch this video, especially after the Amber Heard, Johnny Depp debacle that we all saw online. I think it will benefit all of you to make sure that you watch this video and stick around until the very end. So again, these are six foolproof ways to tell that a woman is toxic. Let's get right into it.
Number one, she's always the victim. If she's always pointing fingers, blaming you, never taking accountability, it's always everyone's fault but hers. This is not a good sign and a sign that she's unable to take accountability for her actions, which is obviously not beneficial if you're looking for a healthy, mature relationship. This is the type of girl that's always going to make you feel guilty, who's going to make you feel like you need to be apologizing for things that you didn't even do, simply because of the fact that she can't take accountability for her actions, plain and simple. It's exhausting to be with someone like this and a toxic situation to be in where someone is always blaming other people and playing the victim.
Now, there's a really big difference between playing the victim and actually being the, you know, person who was in the right in a situation. I'm not saying that she can never be the victim in a situation, but I do think that constantly playing the victim or wanting to be the victim and wanting people to feel bad for you and throw a pity party for you is not a good way to live your life and is exhausting to be with someone like that.
Number two, and one of the easiest ways to see things from the very beginning, is that they play games. This is something that you honestly might be able to pick up on from the very start and save yourself some time. I say this all the time on my channel. If you have been on my channel for a while, I'm sure you've heard me say this a million times. If she's playing games with you, this is a sign that she is insecure and immature, and we don't have time for that here. And also, this is going to be a window into what the rest of your relationship is going to look like with her, which probably is not a healthy, happy one.
I will also say this, and I think it's important for me to mention this at some point in the video, is that a lot of times toxic people and toxic behaviors stem from, you know, insecurity, immaturity, but also trauma and also things that we need to deal with and heal within ourselves that a lot of people just don't step up and do. Does it mean that this person is going to be toxic forever? No, absolutely not. Does it mean this person is going to be undateable for their entire lives? No, absolutely not. But I will say it is not your responsibility to stick around and find out if they change or to try to be the one to change them. I would not recommend any of you do that. In this case of talking about a toxic girl, it is her responsibility to take ownership for her toxic behaviors and heal herself and work things out so that long-term, she can potentially be in a healthy, happy relationship.
And while we're on the topic of stepping up and taking charge of our mental health here, I'm really excited that today's video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Real talk here, how is your mental health? In all honesty, I've been feeling a little bit overwhelmed and I've been struggling a little bit, you know, running to YouTube channels, trying to make time for myself. It's not easy. So if you're struggling with your mental health, you're definitely not alone. My therapist, Janie, helped me identify that in order to be my best self for not only myself, but also for all of you and the people around me, I have to make sure that I'm, you know, putting time in with myself and spending time on things besides just work. In all honesty, it's really difficult to manage your mental health if you have no idea where to even start. And this is exactly why I work with BetterHelp. They offer customized online therapy that includes video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist, so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. BetterHelp is more affordable than traditional offline therapy. You can apply for financial aid during the sign-up process, and they accept HSA benefits. There's a broad range of expertise in BetterHelp's 20,000 plus therapist network that gives you access that may not be available in your area. You just fill out a questionnaire to help assess your specific needs, and then you get matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Then you schedule secure video and phone sessions, plus you can exchange unlimited messages, and everything you share is completely confidential. You can also request a new therapist at no additional charge anytime. So many people use BetterHelp that they are currently recruiting additional therapists in all 50 states. Join the 2 million plus people who have taken charge of their mental health with BetterHelp. You can also use my link to get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/courtneyryan. That's better H-E-L-P dot com slash Courtney Ryan.
Moving right along here, number three is that achievement becomes competition. Being competitive and competition in general is a very normal thing in a lot of aspects of our lives. Maybe you're playing a video game or a board game, or, you know, you're doing something fun with your partner that gets a little bit competitive. What is not healthy is when your achievements become competition. And I found a quote from an article that I want to share with all of you that says, "Healthy relationships are based on a mutual desire to see the other succeed in all areas of life." Carabello says, "But when things turn toxic, every achievement becomes a competition." So maybe this looks like she doesn't encourage you, she doesn't support you, she gets upset when you get a promotion at work or when something good happens in your life because she's only able to be happy for you if the same thing is happening to her. Maybe you just got an A on your exam, but she got a C, so she's upset and mad at you for the fact that you got an A. There are so many situations and scenarios where this can present itself. That's just a little example I wanted to share with you in case maybe you've been in something like that. But again, this can present itself in many areas of our life, whether it be with friendships or work or a promotion or getting a new job. I mean, it could be again, an array of things. But when achievement becomes competition, she's not supportive, she's not encouraging, she's not happy for you, and she only cares about herself. This is a real issue.
And that leads me into my next point here, number four, which is excessive envy or jealousy. If envy is keeping your partner from being happy for your success, this is a big issue and it's quite frankly toxic. When we're talking about jealousy here, jealousy is a natural human emotion, but when it leads to constantly mistrusting your partner, snooping through their phone, or crossing boundaries, this isn't a good thing. And being jealous and envious isn't cute. And I know it might seem okay in the beginning or people say, you know, it's healthy to have a little bit of envy or jealousy in your relationships, but again, when it gets to this excessive point or a point where, you know, you're crossing boundaries and you can't trust each other. Now, if you've given someone a reason not to trust you, that's a totally different story. That's not what I'm talking about here. But say, for instance, you bring up a story, you're telling her something, and there's a girl that you mention in it, and the second that you mention the girl, she absolutely freaks out, even though you've done nothing wrong. That's exhibited. And again, here, if something positive is happening in your life, you would think that your partner would be encouraging and supportive. But if envy is keeping them from being supportive or encouraging of you, this is toxic.
Number five is that she's controlling. And again, my last two points that I made have led me to this point, and they're all kind of entwined within each other because often, if, you know, she's controlling, she also might be envious or jealous. Does she make you sit on the couch when you get home from work so that she can come and take your shoes off for you? But one day you decide to take your own shoes off, and she has a frantic meltdown. If you watched the Johnny Depp trial, you probably know exactly what I'm referring to here. But regardless if you watched that or not, generally speaking here, controlling behavior is toxic. Being controlling of your partner is not healthy, point blank period. Does she control who you hang out with, who you talk to, what you do on a daily basis, how you take your shoes off, if you take your shoes off? I know that's a crazy example, but this is just proof that it happens. Of course, setting boundaries within your relationship is really important, but setting boundaries and being controlling are two very different things.
And my last point here is money. Does she try to get you to buy a Birkin even though you just met her? If so, she's probably toxic. Does she only talk to you when you're buying her something or taking her out? Remember here, what you allow is what will continue. I really want to highlight here that it's toxic to spend tons of money to impress a woman, but it's also toxic when a woman is only using you for your money. If she makes you pay her in order to send her a text message, again, if she's asking for a Birkin on the first date, if she's asking you to fly her out and take her shopping, and that's the only way she'll talk to you, probably a sign that this girl doesn't have your best interest in mind and only wants to see what's in your wallet. And if you're in a relationship or married, the same kind of money rule applies here, but it might just look a little bit different. Have you agreed on a budget, and she goes behind your back to buy things anyway? Does she cross the boundaries that you've agreed on when it comes to finances? These are conversations that you need to be having. And in order to have a healthy, happy relationship, you have to make sure that you guys are both, you know, respecting each other's boundaries and not consistently crossing them, or that leads to toxic behavior like this.
All right guys, so to wrap it up here, again, I think a lot of times toxic behaviors stem from insecurity, immaturity, trauma, you know, not taking charge of our mental health. So I think it's really important to make sure that you're looking for these things when you're looking for a potential partner, when you're dating, even when you're in a relationship and married. These are six foolproof warning signs that you need to look out for. And again, I'm not saying that just because she does things, she is the scum of the earth, worst person on the planet, she's never going to be dateable. But it just might require her to again, step up, take charge of herself, and stop doing these toxic behaviors.
Let me know down in the comments if you guys have ever experienced any of these things. If there's anything I missed, please be sure to let me know and help some of the other guys out down in the comments. If you like this video, be sure to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel to be in the loop for when I release new content. If you haven't already, be sure to follow me over on Instagram at Courtney Christine Ryan. I love connecting with all of you guys over on there as well. As always, thank you all so much for watching, and I will see you all next time.