✝️ How to become what God says you are without trying - Dan Mohler

Are you following me? So all this stuff is a working of God's grace and God's ability. So as I get alone with God and I put on the things that he says I am through the blood of Jesus, grace comes and makes those things my reality without me trying to be that way. That's the only way I know how to explain it because it's a work of grace. It's supernatural.

So when I get alone, let me give you an example. I'm in my bedroom. This is what it would look like. I don't even do this anymore. I did this countless days and hours in the early days. I just see it now. I don't even do this anymore. But watch this. Was me probably daily, several times a day in the beginning.

"Father, I just thank you. My life is not my own. Never one prayer for safety, protection for my children, for my wife." This whole time now, not that I didn't have that in my life, but this whole time was just designated to me becoming what he paid for. Are you with me? It was my communion time with God.

I might sneak in my bedroom. I used to close my door so I had to open it to go in and I'd open it and I'd peek in and I knew theologically he's in me but I was going to meet him in there. So I'd open the door like he was already in there waiting. I'd say, "Hey. It's me. I'm just here to be with you." And I would begin to talk to him and thank him for loving me and washing me and and explain to my own heart all the reasons I had boldness to be in his presence because he loves me. "And while I was yet a sinner, he sent his son. Father, you made me clean." And I would declare some of those truths. "Father, I thank you. Colossians 1, right now in your sight, I'm holy, blameless, and above reproach." And I believe it. And that would give me confidence to be in his presence.

And what I found was that God started to manifest his presence. And not that I don't teach that a lot. You're not looking for that. You're looking for knowing in your heart. The greatest strength you can have in your heart is not feeling the manifest presence of God. It's actually knowing he loves you. Feeling he loves you is awesome when you feel it. Knowing he loves you is 24/7. Yeah. You're not living for a feeling. You're pursuing a knowing. "We've come to know and believe this love that he has for us."

You see how ramped I get when I talk about this? You see how I get intense and it lights up in my face? I try to be calm. It's hard because I see it. I know it. I'm talking about something I know. It's like two people that think they love each other. They eat something that was out of this world, describable or indescribable, and they're like, "They just got to have that person try it." Like that's how I feel when I'm preaching. Like I've been tasting and seeing he's good. And I'm like talking about this like inviting everybody in like, "We can all have this." Like I've never made it about me. I've never tried to build a ministry. I don't line everybody up and move in my giftings and show my giftings. They're in my life. You sit beside me on a plane, you're probably going to get my gifting. I just don't look for it in a service because then the church gravitates to gifting and makes you a superhero. And you wouldn't have a thing if God didn't give it. You wouldn't see if he didn't let you. You wouldn't know if he didn't tell you. It's all glory to God. But we're so moved by gifting. We should be moved by love. My goal is to teach and train and empower you for the work of the ministry so you can live Christ. Paul said, "I'm laboring till every man is complete in Christ." Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. It's just passion in me like that. That's just yay.

Pardon? I have a question. Yes. What is it? I am stuck on the thing that you said. Okay. I can't get. So when you're. Yeah, that's why I do the question thing because then you won't hear all this amazing stuff I'm saying. No, go ahead. What's your question? We'll do our best. Your family, you said that they put you through a lot. What do you, what do you do with that? You go to your room and you pray and. Well, no. I mean, uh, sometimes, sometimes you don't have a voice. Sometimes people don't want you to talk to them. Sometimes my wife, I didn't have a voice with my wife. I have to discern that. Some you have to learn. See, here's what, here's the best way I can answer your question because there's no real blueprint because we're individuals and every situation is different if people are in different places. So, we have to discern the difference. Some you snatch out of the fire. Some you save with compassion. We're supposed to know. We're never going to know if we're not having this. If we're just driven by the problem and we're hoping God intervenes and changes things, that's probably why it's not going to change and you're going to go through hell in the process. Can I just be raw? Yeah. But when you're communion, you're alone with God. "Father, I thank you for the wisdom." So, I was just giving you that illustration. Nobody owes me a thing, etc. Watch this.

So, in the one I was in, my my wife was in an identity crisis. It was just a thought she was believing. She believed everybody said hi to her cuz she was my wife, that she didn't really matter and she was along for the ride, that I was anointed and she wasn't. I was called and she wasn't. And it was all rhetorical and people acted like they cared about her and it's just because she was with me. That's a good way to lose your value because I tried to explain to her, "Honey, if I was nowhere around and non-existent, you're still you. You in Christ, Christ in you. You still have a goal, a purpose, a destiny. No, you're comparing yourself to me and you're doing yourself grave injustice. You're worth so much to God like the blood of Jesus." Well, you're supposed to tell me that. Doesn't mean it's true. Then she just got into this place. So for eight years, eight years she lived there. My kids saw that in her. They saw me and they saw me zero compromise, zero. They saw me not yelling back. They saw her accusing me of things. One day my little girl interrupted. She said, "Mommy, you're that is not my daddy you're talking about. That is not my daddy. Why would you say that about daddy? That is not daddy." And sometimes God will just use your little girl to intervene. But if she doesn't know me that way, she can't speak up. If I'm one of these and just, you know, but she knows in her heart and she speaks up. So when she starts struggling, when my son starts struggling because they're springing off her weakness because everybody has to work out and walk out their own salvation, they can't ride daddy's faith for their whole life. They can't serve the God of their daddy. At some point, they got to get to know the God of their own life. They have to walk in faith, not daddy's faith, their faith. They got to know how to suppress the temptations and the drives of the flesh. And like Jesus was tempted at all points, yet without sin. Jesus had the opportunity to travel in every direction any man ever traveled. But he's not moved by that. He's not pulled by that cuz he's here on a mission and he's selfless and he's here to do the will of him who sent me. But he had opportunity to go in any direction. People don't realize that he was tempted at all points. That that reveals his humanity side. Everybody when you talk about this, they think you're taking away Jesus's deity. It's the most ridiculous argument in the body of Christ. So, we're so defensive, we can't even talk without being judged. Jesus came. He's the son of God. Absolutely. But he came as a man. Made himself of no reputation. Laid down his glory. We're not saying he's not the son of God. Yes, he is. There's things on the internet that say, "Pastor Dan Mhler doesn't believe Jesus was the son of God." That's ludicrous. That's people that are speaking out of term that don't even know me and never had the heart to call me and ask what I mean and just wrote an article in presumption and they'll be judged if they don't repent. It's ludicrous. And they do this stuff and it's demonic. So that when you hear my name, oh, not going to listen to him. He doesn't even believe God's Jesus is God's son. It's insanity. But people read the internet and tend to believe what they read. And then we all joke, well, of course, everything on the internet's true, right? Haha. But then we believe what we read on the internet.

I was in a service with a young man. He said, "I invited my coworker tonight. I'm so glad you're here. God used you to change my life, man." And he was crying. He told me what he went through and how he got these messages in the nick of time. And he said, "I invited my coworker. I hope he comes. And he said he he couldn't believe I was coming to church on a Friday. He's not saved. But I said, 'You just got to come. You're going to hear this man and benefit from what he's saying.'" And and he said, "I told him who you were, but he never heard of you." Well, while we're talking, his phone dinged. He opened it up and it was he said, "Oh, it's him." He said, "Sure glad you told me his name. I looked him up. I'm not coming. He's a false teacher." Wow. Isn't it crazy how people gravitate to the negative? Yeah. Don't even know what I'm saying. They just read somebody's article. And it's a copout most of the time for a heart that's not hungry or searching. It's usually just a copout for somebody that's not searching. For a spouse that really doesn't want to go to church, so they tell their spouse, "Oh, I just looked him up. He's." And it's a copout.

If I wasn't living this way, my kids wouldn't stand up and say those things. My boy wouldn't ask me that question. That's true. Are you with me? Yeah. I'm teaching him by example. My daughter intervenes. So, guess what that tells me in my heart? That deep in her heart, she knows her daddy and she's been touched by his life. So, no matter what she's struggling with, no matter what decision she's making, no matter how she's compromising along the way of her life, I know there's a better seed in her. I know there's investment. I know she's been trained in the way she should go and she's not going to depart. Watch. Because I don't find my identity through my children. How I can cleanly love my children. Not be overbearing, not be insecure, not smothering them, not relentlessly contacting them, calling it love because I'm scared. I've watched countless parents lose their identity over their children making wrong choices. Nope. And my children are making wrong choices. It shows my identity's established because I've decreed a thing and I've laid faith before God and I'm trusting him and I'm still shining and living like nothing's wrong because I'm not seeing what's wrong. I see what's right. I'm not a man with a problem. I have an answer and it's a good one. His name is Jesus. Are you with me? Yeah. So, it's never, "Well, you don't know what I've been going through." I shifted that and focused on what he went through. So now I found myself through his truth and it always overtakes this reality and it shows me just what to be.

So back to your question, you'll never find your answer except this way because you need discernment. You need to love your child right where your child is for who your child is. No pastor should give you a blueprint. "We'll do this, this, this." That's not the answer. It's live Christ.

So in my prayer time, I'm praying and then I'll say, "Father, I just thank you for my wife. Oh my goodness, Lord, the love you put in my heart for her, God. I I see what's going on and I see what's happening. But I know you haven't changed. Your love never fails and that means this love will never fail. It's in me. God, thank you for giving me wisdom to love her through every moment. Give me the discernment to speak when it's time to speak and stay quiet when it's time to be quiet. God, let my words only be in a a due season, in a fit moment. I thank you, trust you, and know you love my wife." That's how I'm praying, right? And Father, I thank you for my children. And God, sometimes it just feels like, Father, they they think I'm lecturing them. My goodness, are you kidding me? Lecturing, it's the last thing on my mind. But Lord, don't ever let me appear to be that way. Don't ever let me come across that way. And ask you, help them to discern where my heart's coming from. I just know my kids are going to do well. God, thank you for my children. That sure beats. "I can't believe they don't love me. God, how much is this chaos going to keep happening? I feel like they're all against me. God, I'm trying to do right. I'm trying to do right. God, why why don't you intervene?" That's not prayer. You already broke through the ice. You're not on thin. You broke through. You're sinking really fast. Are not being mean. It's not prayer. That's you taking personal your trial. You've become the result of that trial and now God's even in question and you're spiraling fast. Are you all okay? No, that one feels funny in the room. The room feels funny right now. We are so used to living there and taking on our trials and challenges. We wake up in the morning and it's early and we're like, "Oh man, I didn't sleep. God, Lord, I didn't sleep. I can't believe I got to go to work already. Lord, if you don't if you don't show up, Lord, if you don't show up, I I'm not going to make it. I don't even know if I should feel like I should call in. But either way, oh no. And I got to work beside Jimmy today. Lord, please. Lord, you got to intervene. I'll never make it through the day if you don't show up." We call that prayer. That's like not prayer. Hello. Let me show you what prayer is.

Wow. Sure feel like I could stay in bed this morning. Lord, my body is saying two more hours. But the truth is, I got to be at work by 6:30 and I have a commitment. And what a blessing that you gave me a job. God, I just thank you. And I just realized I work with Jimmy today. Man, he has no clue who he is. God, I used to let him get on my nerves, but now I see him different the way you seem. If Jimmy knew who he was, he wouldn't live the way he's living. He wouldn't say the things he's saying. I thank you that Jimmy doesn't move me except for compassion. And God, I thank you the way you pursued me when sin abounded, grace abounded much more. I'm going to pursue Jimmy. I'm so glad I'm working with that God. Ain't that different? That sure beats thinking for yourself and calling it prayer.

One of the one of the number one prayer requests I got when I was a full-time pastor was, "Can you just pray for me to get a new job? I can't stand where I were. If I hear one more f-bomb, I'm just gonna." And I'm like, Jesus is not doing the three monkey thing at the right hand or the father with Jesus at the right hand like blocking his ears, eyes, and nose from the world. Like like if I hear one more f-bomb, look people, that's all they know. You know more. Why do you let what they don't know decide what you do know? Why don't you let him be greater in you and get a different say, get pray that I get a new job. I need to get out of my job. My boss is so unfair. I don't know why God's let me go through all this. I don't know what I did to deserve this. No, that's language I hear in the church in a prayer request. And then they wonder why they didn't get the job for the next four months. They're still there. Why is God, what is he trying to teach me? I'm like, listen, they say, "Are you praying for me to get?" No, I'm praying he balls and change you there till you get a revelation. You don't run from this stuff. It'll show up on your next job. You change. You don't run from drug addiction. You move in beside a dealer. You change. You get free from you. You see people for who they really are and you understand your calling in life. And then you can be thankful for your job, not dread it. Do you see?

I used to hate going to work. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, right? Mr. Hyde was the the transformed ugly guy in the story, right? Dr. Jekyll was the regular guy. Hyde was the. Okay, so I was Hyde and then I went to work and was whatever was worse than Hyde. So I wasn't Dr. Jekyll ever. I was just Hyde and worse. When I went to work, I manifested into something worse than what I already was. When I got saved, I saw the value of my co-workers. I was full of life, was thankful, and loved my job, and saw it as a blessing, and saw everything as an opportunity to shine and manifest Jesus. And I couldn't even wait to go to work. I didn't try that. I didn't put that on in the name of integrity or character. It was just the way I saw life now. It's a gift. Life was a gift. Wow. And this is my opportunity and privilege in these men's lives. This is a season that I have to impact them and sow into them like I have my children. And about the time I feel sorry for me or it's about my boss. See, I'm at work and and and this is good to tell these stories because you see, it's a perspective change. If God can change your perspective, he can change your whole life. Look, be transformed by your hard work, diligence, and discipline. Is that what Romans 12:2 says? To be transformed by your hard work, efforts, and diligence. Be transformed by. Huh? It's that simple. Seeing different, thinking different. I'm just going to think different and be different. Yep. You get it? You see why I'm like this? Cuz it's that easy. It's life-giving. And I'm not like, "It's a hard long road, people." But stay in the race. We'll get there. I'm having the time of my life. I'm probably more excited now than I've ever been. And I'm 30 years saved. I used to tell people my whole life, if whatever you see in me now, the next time you see me, if you ever see me again, I'll probably be like this or worse. And I say worse because I might know him more. Yes. See, the passion you see in me is because I know him. I'm not sharing my theology. People say, "Well, he's never even been to seminary." Praise the Lord. What? That might have been a detriment to you because now you're reading your Bible to defend your seminary and now you can't even see what it's saying. You just see what your seminary said. So you might never even have got alone to seek who he is. You might have been told who he is. So you're believing what somebody else believes, but maybe you don't even really believe it because it's not the fruit of your life. But you'll defend it in an argument because it's your training. I I'm zero good for a debate. I'm not going to debate for you with you. I'm not going to argue over a table, over a scripture. I'm having the time of my life. My heart's free. There's all kinds of fruit. I got people healed. I mean, people for years, they finally stopped doing it cuz I talk about a lot. But for years, people knocking on my door, knocking on my door unannounced, walking in my backyard while I'm working for the garden, just walking into my yard for prayer. And Christians say, "Well, they did it to Jesus." Are they doing it to you? Those Christians that say, "Well, they did it to Jesus, brother." Are they doing it to you? It's not cool. I'm away for days. I come home and my bang bang bang, I got crying personal. Of course, I'm surrendered. I'm going to love you. I'm going to correct you for doing it that way, but then I'm going to pray for you and love you. But I am going to correct you and tell you there's a better way. Why are they doing that? Cuz I've been living the way I'm crying out and they're overwhelmed with need. So what they need the most, they're seeing in me. So they think if they get to me, they can get what they need the most. Do you see the deficit? I'm not being mean. I'm being real. And we've almost trained ourselves to be that way. That we're all followers instead of leaders. As soon as you get saved, you're a leader in the realm of light. You just went from darkness to light. So, you automatically have a sphere of influence in your life called light. And you can think different. You can care different. You can love different. And you're already leading the way in the realm of light. And you're one day old in the Lord. Now, you're still following. You're still being mentored. You're still growing and learning, submitting, and I get that. But we're all leaders in the way of light. We can all see different, think different. We're transformed by the.

So, one of the greatest in this breakout session, one of the greatest ways, even in your question, honey, is seeing different and making sure you're seeing what God's seeing when you're looking at your situation. And you're not just looking at it through psychology, through human reasoning and the way that seemeth right to a man, but you're actually looking at it through Christ and saying, "Here's what I would say a lot to the Lord. Lord, if you're if you were in my shoes, which you are, what would you say to her right now, if anything?" And sometimes I'd hear, "I wouldn't say anything." Or sometimes I'd find myself just being gentle and I'd have this access and I'd say and I would just sow into her for those whole eight years. It was a powerful story. And she wanted to die. In the end, she wanted to die. She thought if she died, she knew she couldn't get it right. She knew her life was, she knew she withdrew. She was living tormented and condemned. And she knew that people realized she was struggling. So, she thought now she's self-conscious on top of it and she's condemned because everybody thinks she's loco. My own kids said, "Is our mom crazy?" And I'd say, "Kid, stop. If you ever prayed from your heart for anyone, pray for your mama right now. She really needs your prayers, your love, and your support. But please don't be mad at her, frustrated, or antagonized." Like, you know how we let people inconvenience us? Well, they've been putting me through. So, could you imagine Jesus having a meltdown and having that mentality? Well, he ain't making it through a day because every day they're contesting him, trying him, belittling him, judging him, wrongly assessing him. He's doing good and they're figuring out what has to be wrong. He's healing and they're saying, "What devil did it?" That was Jesus every day. And we're going to get bothered in a little family thing. Come on, guys. I'm not going to sell that cheap if I'm bought with a price. I want to set an example for people to follow. But he'll give you discernment, kiddo. There's no blueprint for your question, but this is where you're going to find that. And I thank you, Father, when I see my family, I see them through your eyes. I see what you see. Your heart is in me. And I live from the place where you abide. And it's called love. God, nobody owes me a thing. And my whole purpose in life is to shine. I'd wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning." Wow, mercy gave me one more day to be more like you. That's how I'd wake up and that's how I would talk right out of my mouth as soon as I'd wake up. My heart was so trained in that that my mind was so renewed that I was living transformed. People were like, "You're so. How did you change like this? What happened to you?" My co-workers used to say I was brainwashed and I'd laugh and say, "My brain has been thoroughly washed." And they'd be like, "Ah, oh my god, I freaked all my co-workers out." Imagine this. I worked with him for 13 years. Just one of the guys in the warehouse and now I'm totally transformed and saved. Not a Christian confession. Not, "Hey, I went to an altar and prayed a prayer." Transformed and changed in their eyes. Well, they thought I'm in a cult. They right away. It's all this panic. Who brainwashed you? You're in a c. Who'd you get tangled up with? Nobody. Just heard a voice at work. [Laughter] I mess with them so bad. They told me I'm going through a phase. They told me it'll grow off, wear off of me, that I must be going through a crisis. And people generate a god to lean on because they're too weak to live. That's what they were all telling me. That's what they believe about all of us. A lot of times they're right because that's what we look like to them. But we're supposed to do all things without grumbling and complaining so we can be seen by them as innocent, harmless children, which we don't believe this is possible without fault in the midst of a crooked. And then a preacher said, "Well, brother, don't preach that." The Bible's preaching that. Yeah, but nobody's perfect. You're going to mislead people. Take it up with the Holy Ghost who wrote it. I always wondered when it said, "Be perfect, be perfect even as my Father is perfect." The word perfect means complete there. So it means fulfilled and complete. In other words, no deficit, no vacuum, no insecurity and no crisis in identity. He's not talking perfection. He's talking complete. That word means complete. So you're complete. Watch this. Colossians 2. He's the fullness of the Godhead bodily. Meaning the full expression of God in a man and you are complete in him who is the head. The verse before that says, "Beware least any man cheat you, rob you, plunder you or hold you captive through empty deceit, traditions of men, the basic principles of life, philosophy, and not according to Christ." In other words, don't you ever be identified apart from Christ. Anything that does that is cheating you, plundering you, and robbing you. Don't let anyone tell you you're less than who he is in you. You get it? For you're complete. Be perfect. For your Father's in heaven's perfect, the word's complete. He's not talking perfection. But I can show you in scripture, and we've been taught not to believe this stuff because we're always going to fail. You know, nobody's perfect. And when you talk like this, then people say, "You're saying you're perfect." So, I've been I've been told a hundred times over to other people, well, well, we don't listen to Dan because he thinks he's perfect. He says he never sins. Never said that in my life and never even thought that. And that's never even been the topic of discussion in my own mind, but people seem to have that one for me. Isn't that something? I just think people that don't know him have to fulfill things with other conversations and thoughts and stuff because if you really knew him, you probably wouldn't be able to do that because it's presumption. You're you're writing something about me and you haven't even talked to me to know to hear me say it out of my mouth. You're taking a clip. My friend said, I don't watch this stuff, but he said there's a clip out there. He said, I'm wearing three shirts to say one sentence. Oh, wow. I mean, how obvious is that? Yeah. So, people have to know they're doing that or I'll say a whole line and they'll take out five words and say, "Do you see what he just said?" But you can't hear what I said right in front of it and right behind it to hear what I really said. Right? So, you're going to do that and know you're doing that and do a big long thing on it to trash me or whatever just because you're in a different theological camp than me and because you went to a seminary that trained you outside of the way I'm preaching. So, I'm an enemy and I've got horns in my disguised as a Christian. It's just something how people will do that. Now, it's not it's not I'm not telling you that cuz I'm bothered by that or I'm threatened by that. There's there's so much there's more emails than I can read. I thought it's funny how there's a handful of persecution things out there and then I got more emails and more testimonies than I can read of people that said, "God used you to change my life." I mean, this man just ran up to me and wept in the foyer. Full grown man. It just melts me every time. He said, "Oh, man." And he started, he had me crying. I'm like, "Get out of here. I got to go preach." But he just said, "Just thank you. God used you when I was in the darkest place of my life to get out. Just I'm so glad you're here." And I said, "Get out of here." Then I turn, somebody runs and tells me the same thing. And then I got it one more time up here. I'll take that. Absolutely. You get it? Yeah. This is where we change, guys. Make no mistake about it. You'll never change apart from this right here. You're not going to change because you heard the message. You're going to change because you took the truth of the message by faith into a place where you believed you could be with him. And you didn't let yourself keep you from being there with boldness. You didn't let your view of God keep you from being there with him. In your view of you or his view of you be twisted. You see clear. He wants you there. You belong there. He paid for you to be there and he loves when you're there. Period. Like anything else is a lie. He paid for you to get back to the Father. So get back to the Father. Talk to him. Be personal. Be intimate. Ask him questions when you're reading your Bible or doing a daily devotion. Sometimes people just do their daily devotion. They're just I'm not against devotional books. I'm against not having communion with the Lord. You can read a daily devotion book and never contact God. Never even think about the reality of God. You can just read it for knowledge, do your devotion, and feel spiritually equipped that day or like you did your thing. Hey, I did my lesson. You can get sentimental about it. Just go, "Oh, that's so awesome." And never just stop in the middle of reading and saying, "Wow, that's amazing. You see me that way." God, to sit here and know that that's exactly how you see me is overwhelming. God, that's amazing. That's how I want to see every man for the rest of my life. Thank you that you put your eyes in me. And when I look through my eyes today, I'll see what you behold. That's a devotion. People do confession sheets and never have connection. I'm not against a confession sheet. I'm against not having relationship communion with God. We're not machines. It's not robotic. We're not slot machines. You know, I've hear it taught that way. Just keep dropping the coin in a slot and sooner or later you'll get three bells. No, the confession should be prayed out. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." It's not walking the floor quoting that. It's listening to what it says and comm "Father, I just thank you. I'll never lack strength. That anything I need in the moment is available because of who you are in me. And the truth is nobody owes me anything. So I don't have deficit. I'm complete in you. I'm fulfilled. I'm not needing for men. And I always have something to give in this place. I'm a cup running over. Oh my goodness. You made me thirsty and you filled me and you can flood the dry ground. God, I'll never go dry. Men are drinking out of the overflow of who you are in my life. God, I thank you. My days of being exasperated, frustrated, at wits end have ended. God, you're so good to me." That's a devotion. Are you with me? Yeah. Yeah. Did you have a question? Um, I only have like four minutes. I'm just letting you all know. I just think this whole thing where when you're growing in identity and who you are and then and being connected to someone who has the identity issue like your wife is common and whether whether ever and that you're on. I don't know how that story panned out and everything with my wife. Yeah. My my wife was in a place where she had a chance to die. They thought she was going to die. She's on life support in a coma with severe brain damage. And we laid hands on her. And the kingdom of God came upon her. And an hour after we prayed, she woke up with zero brain damage, zero residuals of an hour-long seizure, which is medically impossible. And a head of ICU doctor got hit with the fear of God and cried on my shoulder because she was totally normal. And there's no possible way. How about that one? So, when I walked in to see my wife and she's off of all life support and totally normal, she doesn't even know what happened and wondering what's going on and why is she in a hospital in her little gown. And I walked in and just cried and said, "You've never been more beautiful." And she lifted. She said, "Just came out of a coma." She said, "Really?" I said, "I'm not I'm not talking about that. You're alive." And I told her, she said, "What happened?" I told her what happened. Now watch. She's been saying, "If I die, it would be a gift to this family. I can't get it right. I'm I'm a crazy woman. I don't know how to get it right. I'm such a burden to you." I said, "You're no burden to me. Oh, I have to be, but you're not." And she believed in her heart that dying was a gift to not only her own struggling soul, but to me. And when she knew that she was in a position to die, I prayed for her to live. And she realized that I saw what she wasn't seeing. And here's what she said when I was telling her what happened. And I said, "And then they called the house and and they said, 'You you know, she was really afraid you were going to die and everything looked bad and we were in a waiting game.' So, and she realized that I came in. I said, 'So, we came right in. I brought Daniel and we laid hands on you.'" And she went, she went. It was so fun to watch. She went, "You held on to me. You held on to me. You didn't let me go. You didn't let me go." See, she didn't want to die. She just thought it was her only option. She didn't want to die. People say, "Well, they just want to go." No, they feel that way because they're in such torment. And when she realized I held on to her and had a chance to let her go, she realized what she was believing was wrong and that I saw what I saw the whole time or I wouldn't still be there praying for her to come back after eight years of that. A lot of people would think death is a gift in that season. And now I can finally move on. I'm just being real. And it hit her. And I watched her come out of that from that moment. And the only thing I had to love her through was she would get condemned when the children would spin because she felt like she empowered them to live where they're living because of the eight years of her expression. And she felt responsible. So I had to talk her out of that and tell her, "Our kids are grown. They have convictions. They're making their own choices. Don't you be condemned for their choices. God's way bigger than the mistakes you made over those eight years. He's redemptive. He's way bigger. You are not judged and condemned every time they slip." So, I had to walk her through that. Would you say that moment when she saw your love for her, God opened her eyes? Here's what I realized. Yep. This is what I realized. Nobody loves God first except they see his first love. On that day, I realized for the first time in my Christian life that sometimes we get the great honor of being the expression of that first love. That I actually manifested the way God loved her to her through my own life to where she saw it was God and it wrecked her and then she went this way and had the confidence to go this way. You get it? My son years later, years later came home from drug addiction, didn't want to see me, talk to me because he's living violated. His conscience is wrecked. He knows I'm a man of God and he's doing everything outside of the box and now he's got all. Can you imagine the torment in my son's soul? But guess whose door he knocked on when he wanted free? See, the prodigal son story is only an awesome story because of the dad in the story. If you take the dad out of the story, you just have another sad story of a youngster that blew everything he had. But the dad in the story is the father and supposed to be us. And that's where the redemption came from cuz the dad didn't change the way he saw the son. So when my son knocked on the door, I said, and I hadn't seen him for a long time. I looked and I said, "Hey buddy, it's so good to see you." And he's just crying and shaking. And he said, "Can I hug you?" I said, "Come here." I just held him. He said, "Can I come in?" I said, "Come on." He said, "I don't know where to start." And I said, "Let me start." And I said, "Do you understand?" I held his shoulders and looked him right in the eye. I said, "Do you understand? I'm not one bit disappointed with you or discouraged." And he said, "Dad, that can't be possible. That can't be true. After all this, after all this, Dad, that can't be true." And I shook him a little and said, "Son, are you kidding? I don't know how you think it can't be true. You don't owe me anything." I said, "Son, if I cry one tear, it's because I know you're so much more than what you're choosing and living. I got nothing but love for you." And he's looking in my eyes, and guess what he saw? No disdain. Yeah. And in his heart, it has to be there because of the facts. And I got to be the first love of God to my son. Wow. And my wife. My son loses it. We hold. He puts himself in a program and my son's the rest is history. Here's what he told my wife, his mama. "Mom, I've never been loved like that in my life. It was so overwhelming. I'll never be the same. I gave dad every reason plus some to be something else. And dad doesn't know anything else. I've heard him preach this his whole my whole life. And I gave him every reason to not live what he preaches and it's all he knows. Mom, I'll never be the same." What did he see? The love I always talk about. Am I just trying to point him to God or am I a signpost? Right. Yes. You get it? Come on. You tell me. I'm minus 3 minutes. I'm so sorry, Randy. You tell me one thing I shared that you can't live if you're willing and trust God. Now, this I'm I'm flipping this on y'all now. You tell me one thing I preached that's not possible to live if you want to and you get alone with God and start praying this stuff into your life because you want to. This is a service like this measures your want to. That's right. It actually locates your heart. Yeah. And your willingness to be what he paid for and created you for. And when you hear it like this, you got the right to either go live what you've been living and experience the same or go after new life through Jesus Christ and understand he's loving and he's redemptive and there's no guilt or shame. And let's just go after God and let's start a fresh and let's run hard after him and never look back. You get what I'm saying? Would you stand to your feet? I want to pray over y'all, please. Y'all good? It's just my session's over. I am far from done. But my session's over. Can you tell I'm far from done? I preach in my sleep. I It never stops. Will you do something with me? This doesn't make you Pentecostal charismatic. We're not going to take a picture of this and send it to your Baptist church. Lift your hands with me to heaven. It's a sign of yieldedness. It's a sign of want to. It's a sign of yes, God. Just let it mean yes, God. If you're raising your hands, let it mean yes, God. I hear what this man's saying. You might be convicted and say, "I haven't walked in this, but man, I want to." Or, "I've been scratching the surface of this, but man, I want more." Or, "Man, I never even thought this way. Wow, this brings life." Wherever you're at, there's grace for all of us. Amen. But Paul said, "No matter where you're at in your walk, whatever rung of the ladder you're on, let us all have the same mind that we haven't apprehended and we're pursuing. We're not looking behind us. We're looking up and we're going after God so that we might arrive." So, Father, I pray for grace in this room and I pray that everyone get marked, literally get marked in their heart by your spirit, Lord, to say yes and to see this thing in front of them. And if in any other way they think different like Paul wrote, even you, Lord, show them the truth. I pray for grace in this session. I pray for grace in the walking out of what we heard. And I thank you. You are doing what you do best, transforming our lives. And we're willing. Would you all say amen? Amen. Amen. Alrighty. Love you guys. Bless y'all. Mr.