Transcription
Do you guys think, regardless of the stats, do you guys think that men are more marriage-minded than women? Just if I ask the question straight up.
No.
[music]
Do you think men want marriage more than women?
No. Oh, no. Okay, Kelly. Do you think women want marriage more than men?
Yes. Just because we speak about it now. Do you think that men, men right now, so you took black men, black women, right? Do you think that [music] the men have more people who are suitable for marriage than the women?
Yeah. What you say that one more time? I'm hearing Yep. So you got black single women, black single men, right? You go through this person ready for marriage, this person is, and men on one side and women on the other side. Are there more likely to be more men picked [music] out ready for marriage than women?
Yes. You think? I think it's circumstantial. Well, [music] nah, nah. That's a song game. The men that were that's a good one, how cool. So let's let's look at the metrics right now. This is really. What's the lack of accountability in women? I have to say that. How do y'all want to go? Now, do we need to run down metrics? Do we need to go side by side? Cuz now we this the A side B side premise.
Well, go ahead. Let's go. Let's go. So what's one of the most important metrics for relationship? I guess I could look at the reasons why people divorce and maybe look at those. So I think one of the top three reasons is financials. What are the financials between black men and black women? Who, who more on average makes more money as an example?
Well, I think I just said the black woman. Make more money on average? Not on average. It's marriage. Okay, that's that that's that we were just speaking of. Oh, that was just marriage. Oh, okay. Okay. So men, I if it's on average, then the man would make more. Okay. So men make more money, question, on average. And it's like I think right now it was it was up to like $5,000 more on average. Now, what about debt? Who has more debt?
Women. Women. Do the women actually have more debt? I I believe so. I I think it's running neck and neck now. I thought it was I thought it was neck and neck the last time we looked it up. I think that was a couple of months ago we had looked it up. Talking about just based on consumer debt or whatever. I thought it was like basically statistically even. Somebody edify me in the chat. Who has more debt? I'm going to I'm going to chat GPT it, but I'm looking at the chat too. I'll shout out to Arnold, he in the chat. We got a few super chats from our read too. Who has more consumer debt?
That's a good prompt. Black men or black women? That's a fair prompt. Yes? Just making sure. It depends on what you put in there. Pause. It can [laughter] make a big difference. Oh, my bad. I carried the wrong screen. I got you. All right. Ready when you are. It's crazy. All right.
[clears throat]
Short answer, there is no clean widely cited data set that directly compares total consumer debt between black men versus black women in all categories. But when you break it down by the data we do have, especially student loans and gender trends, a clear pattern shows up. So Arnold's saying they broke this down, black women have more debt. Black women generally carry more debt than black men, especially in student loan debt, which is the biggest form of consumer debt. Black women have the highest student loan balance of any race or gender. The gap between black women and black men grows over time due to slower repayment and compounding interest. Women overall tend to hold more debt than men. Women hold about 2/3 of the US student loan debt. Some broader credit suggests men tend to borrow slightly more in areas like auto loans and mortgages, but that doesn't outweigh the heavier long-lasting burden women carry in student debt. So that's pretty much the key metric. And so what we know is, and I actually I know that stat cuz I looked it up regarding the average income and then if you couple it with this, seems like men may have just on average more liquid capital. So that is an important metric in terms of marriage, right? Or who would be more ready for marriage? Money matters to most people, as it should, right?
[clears throat]
So what, so what, what's next? So let's say that men have an the edge in financials. What would be another metric that we can measure? Y'all taller? No, stronger, faster? And are more physically capable. Now, does that matter in the world today? I don't I don't think. What do you think? Does it matter today? As it pertains to relationship?
Yeah. Yeah, to be able to protect. Oh, you're saying that he's so. Okay. Okay. I can I can see what we could do. The things that men are supposed to provide, protection, right? Men have physical prowess. Aaliyah's alleging that men are more readily available to do that. Black men. Now, black men, the only other race of men who is less obese than black men is Chinese men. Chinese? Though black men are actually less obese than white men, Latino men. Now, so I'm just I'm just thinking about physical capability. Now, what would be the side that women would have to innately offer? Is it? But what would be? So you got physical prowess for protection. What are the thing that men have to offer? Or excuse me, women have to? Women, sorry. Would it be affection, love? I don't know what, what, what is it? Like nurturing? Yeah, maybe nurturing. Nurturing for sure. Some physicality. Cooperation? Is it cooperation? Is it nurturing? Is that who said cooperation? Well, cooperation involves both parties, but I would say nurturing {slash} homemaking would be like a. Kelly, you might have you might have shot him in the chest with the homemaking thing.
So physical. So what do we do as women that's physical? Well, no, no, no. I'm saying that somebody might want to tell Natasha to be careful now. One thing I don't accept. So this part, we're saying that nurture the physical protection aspect, right? Cuz it's hard to conclude it. I'm just trying to think of something that may be able to make that point, right? You got protection, you got nurture. Do we, do we want to compare those two things? Child bearing? Having, having kids, maybe? Would that match up? Well, would that be equal?
That I think we can we might have to go down line. Remember, these are single people. Right. So the ability to get. It would have to be. No, I think it would have to be homemaking. And this is one that we want. Oh, I see. More be of equal value. That's the only thing that would be of equal value on the opposite end. This is more speculative, right? This this exercise, this part. Do you think more black men are capable of protecting than black women are capable of homemaking?
No. Yes. No. Because women are. We are. We were. We're naturally nurturers. That's the the. So I don't think that. No, I think we we we're definitely as women for that one, for sure. If you if you. First of all, we can give. We just said we give birth. You get what I'm saying? We are natural nurturers. That is something that we are created to be. I don't. Give birth isn't automatically nurturing. That's not nurture. That's biology. I think that I'm still saying we're we're we are created to nurture our children. We're we create. You get what I'm saying? We have men. We nurture them. You get what I'm saying? So I don't I don't feel like most men. You have. You don't have men, you have children. I have. You know what I mean. Wait. Boys aren't. I have. We nurture them. That that's what I'm saying. So what if we talking about two single people and everything like that, there wouldn't be any children involved. So I wouldn't use the child bearing portion of it or whatever. If for nurturing, I would more so use the use the fact that we're more influence. What's, what's the word of? It's not with an A and it got an M in it. Malleable's good. That would more so speak to the nurturing part as opposed to the child bearing part if we're talking about two single people coming together in a relationship.
Homemaking. I like Kelly. I think those cuz you were looking at tangible [ __ ] Can he protect? Can she make sure that house is a home? Cooking, cleaning, etc., etc., etc. Are more men able to protect than women are to homemake in our community?
Yes. This is a speculative thing. Every man is not automatically a protector. And you right. All right, let's let's make it orderly. Let's make it orderly. Let's make it orderly. Aaliyah, you said what? I said men are more ready to protect than women are to be homemakers. Why? I just feel like just from the commentary I hear on social media, when certain women, we don't even want to make a man a sandwich. So it's like how would we be ready to make a home or to make a house a home and we not even willing to make our boyfriend a sandwich? So that's just how I'm how I'm thinking about it in my brain. I don't think black women is willing to make it a home for a man. Now, they might make it a home for themselves and he could stay there, too, maybe, but I don't know if it would be a home for them.
Tamia, you said the women are more apt to be homemakers and the men are protectors? I don't, I don't, I don't believe that. Make the make the case. All right. Only because I feel that way because I do see. Tamia, I don't know. I don't know.
I love you first and foremost. I don't know. You feel is a nasty start. I ain't going to lie to you. Let me, let me think on it.
We'll let it marinate. We'll let it marinate. We'll come back. Akeria, you ready? Are men better protectors than the women are homemakers in our community? Who you think gets the nod if those two things are compared together or put against each other? First I said no, that men aren't ready to protect. I changed my answer on it because I feel like men, they they are just as natural of of as to being a protector than woman is to being a natural nurturer. But I feel like men are more readily available for those roles. Some women don't feel like some men are worthy of making a house a home. So Aaliyah, do me a favor, clean it up. You said some. So what do you think? Most women think men are worthy? Or? Most women don't think that most most men are worthy of even having a for it. So you say the men get the nod in home? For sure. I thought Cal? I would say most men over most women as far as the person or sister protection versus the homemaking. Only in that only in that most men are would be more so willing to crash out over the person that they claim versus a woman in a homemaker because that has that that that's a skill that has to be taught. Damn.
Tamia? I I agree with the ladies. Oh my god, man. [laughter] I agree that. You want me to argue? It's not arguing. It's they made me make sense. I can I can. Their points are valid. They made me make sense. Don't mean I can't. Don't mean I can't whine about it. All right. So, the men are up two. Financials and just an innate thing that we offer to one to one another. That is a crucial one. I'm not going to hold you. We Let's look at the look. Go ahead. Go ahead. You got it. I was going to say this just to add on to what I was saying because a lot of my homegirls, right? They talk about how a man physical or his physicality make them feel safe off off rip. Mhm. And and a lot of times I think that that's really something that a lot of women look for. They look at the physicality of a man and they automatically think like he he a protector or he'll make me feel safe. Mhm. That's real talk. A lot of times that happens. Okay. Women don't realize that, but we do it a lot. Well, most women do it a lot. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Now, let me read these super chats real quick. This one this one might be tough. Subscribe, tell a friend, tell a friend. Hit the like button if you can. It helps the channel most. My brother Daly in the building with the $2. He says, "Shout out to Brooklyn ladies. Talk your shit." I had to turn my soundboard off for off Daly, but salute, salute, salute my brother. Brother number in the building with the fist bump. Appreciate you. My brother Marcus Evans. What up, kid? With the $5. He says, "What's good brother Ham and the ladies on the panel? I hope everyone is doing well. Y'all be good." Black with the $2. He says, "Love comes with conditions end of story." BZ with the $5. He says, "So, if a woman marry outside the community, are they still a part of it? Are they still part of the statistic?" They would, but good gracious, bro. You know how I feel, but and I'm saying Most High said Arnold with the $2. He says, "I can negotiate a business deal, not emotions." [laughter] Indeed. Ricardo with the $5. He says, "Most women want to get married in the wedding versus the marriage for the long haul." Salute. Subscribe, tell a friend, tell a friend, man. Look, let's get to this one. So, right now the men are up 2-0. So, we're looking at A side B side. Kids. Kids. So, now I want to make sure that I'm clear on this stat. 50% of men don't have kids, but what age group is that, Kelly? 50% don't have kids? What's that? What's that?
It. That's not any age group. It was 26% for 20 to 29, 62% 30 to 30. Well, that do have kids, excuse me. That do have children was 26% 20 to 29, 62% for 30 to 39, 80% 40 to 40.
So, on average 50% don't have kids. Is that what that is? Is that? Is that still true? If you average those age? Average age of black men is in the mid-30s, no. So, average age for black men is in mid-30s. Hold on. I believe it was 33 or 35. Are the youngest, right? Hold on. All right. So, let me just see. Average age for black men, I can bring the screen up for you guys. About 34 years old. So. That's the average age? For black men. So, I'm just going to ask it the question. I know we talked about that stat a bunch of times. So, it says about 60% of black men, which goes along with that 35, about 60% of black men ages 15 to 44 are fathers, have at least one biological child. How do we take out the married men? Why we got to take the single men? Single black men. All right. So, no one single stat. But it says So, it says So, it says roughly 35 to 45% of black men are both single and have children. So, it's slightly imperfect, but I guess it goes. So, what number do we accept? So, that one would say about 55% don't have kids. So, it's close, kind of, right? To the other number. So, it says 55%. What's the number for women? How do you?
Isn't it higher? I don't know that one. So, let me ask the same question. So, what percentage of single black women have kids? So, it says 55 to 65% of black women are unmarried. And 75, 70 to 75% have kids. So, it looks to be about 10 points. Go ahead. 70% of the 55%? Is that what they say? Yeah, I think so. So, the 75% have kids. 55 to 65% of black women are unmarried. 65% roughly 55 to 65% of single black women have children. So, it's like 5 to 10% disparity. Just about, I think. Does this mean anything? Does this change anything? Does it make anybody more or less desirable? So, it appears that black women have more kids. Single black women have more kids on average than single black men. By about. It looks to be, and this is we this is very. It's not. This is not. This is surface level. It looks to be about 10 percentage points difference. Do you guys think that kids make a person more or less desirable?
Yes. Especially if you if you got multiple different children and then you got to take in in consideration of how many baby fathers you got. Start with one. How you rate it? One? To to to somebody that can be less desirable for somebody. I think it all depends on a person's preference because some people prefer no kids at all.
Well, if I don't have no kids, I wouldn't want somebody who has kids or have one kid. I have none. So, it's like I think that matter is is all over about a person's preference with that. We got to. We got to. We got to. Go ahead. My bad. No, I was saying just based off of the rhetoric, um, I would have to go with the ladies' position that wouldn't you wouldn't you wouldn't want to have you wouldn't want to get into a relationship with someone with kids and you don't have any. Kelly, why are you hanging off the camera? You hanging off the camera.
I I agree with that though. I agree with that because when you don't have kids, it's in a relationship dealing with someone who don't have kids, it's a lot of things that a person with kids won't understand. So, I think people with no kids should date people that don't have any kids. Well, what's in contention? We haven't heard from Akira yet on this. Is a person with a kid? So, more men don't have kids, right? About 10 percentage points. I know people are putting different stats in the chat. I'm just looking at the one that's the least biased. So, it had about 10%. It doesn't have such an exaggerated percentage, right? About 10%. Does that make a person more or less desirable marriageable if they don't have a kid? We understand people have preferences.
Yeah. But does that make a person more or less marriageable if they do or do not have a kid? Akira? I think they don't. No. Just say Akira. Yeah. Yeah. So, I feel like I'm going to have to agree with you and say only because I'm a woman, I don't have kids. So, I don't to be honest with you, a man having kids don't bother me, but I feel like more it's been more times where men don't prefer a woman who have kids. Do you think that's true, Akira? Do you think that it's more acceptable for the man to have kids than women?
Yes. Even from you guys' lens? I believe so. Mhm. Okay. Okay. Okay. I see a lot of more single moms and you have a lot of, you know what I'm saying, dads that aren't single. They have. They're either married or they have a girlfriend. Like you. Some women. Some women will prefer a man having kids. I think that's the minority if they don't have a kid, but I I think it's more than the other side. Or they may say it don't bother them, what you were saying. Now, that's a classic, too. A lot of more. I ain't heard that since 6th grade. [laughter] So, that's That's a classic. That's a classic. A lot of more is crazy. That's a classic. [laughter] So, So, you guys seemingly to lean towards you whoever has the least kids probably has more is more ready to get into marriage or you?
Less maybe less obstacles. Less obstacles. You don't have to deal with nobody, especially if they got older kids or kids that's not disciplined. It's so much that you don't have to deal with.
Yeah. Damn. So, do the men get that one? Please. It's okay to be the B side. It's [laughter] okay to be the B side. All right, let's. It's okay. Yes, sir. Damn. B side is up. What we, what we throwing on? No, A side is up. A side is up. Oh, A side is up. But it's nothing wrong with being the B side.
Got Y'all got another one? I'm trying to think. What's another metric that the men? We got this one because you got you got finances, you have innate offering, and then you have obstacles, essentially. Emotional intelligence. Well, let's say attitude or presentation. You. Now, you you set us up. You set us up for that, Ham. What? Y'all got bad attitudes? We can have [laughter] bad attitudes. About the majority. The majority got bad attitudes. You know that, Ham. Like He already know this. Okay, so let's do emotional intelligence then. What, what, what are we, what are we, what are we doing that for? That's what Akira said. But you men is going to win that.
Why? They No, they not. Women are more so. They so. They not. Man, we got to. We got to win somewhere. You got to make this make sense. Oh, no, man. It is some fellas that crash out, but women are definitely. They are. They are winning that. For sure. Yeah. Yeah, you right. We might. We might need to find something else. It's okay to be the B side. That's where I'm at. That's where you at? That's exactly where I'm at. It's all right.
So, let me Okay. Now, cuz this going to might feel like a set up, too, but it shouldn't. So, emotional the I said let's go ahead and skip over that cuz it's going to get dark. Communication? Hell, be for real. Oh my god. [laughter] What? That goes into accountability and attitude. Be for real. A woman ain't going to communicate cuz she don't want to be accountable. She going to just act like ain't nothing ever happened and they won't and she just want to move forward. Damn. He ain't apologizing. What we? At all. You hear me? Come on, y'all. We just. We did. You just showed a video example of a woman. I'm saying having. Well, she was struggling with communication.
Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So, right now the men are 4-0. 5-0. Jesus Christ. We know. We know how to count now. It won't cuz I'm thinking the the having the kids thing, the finances thing, the innate trait, emotional intelligence, communication. Promiscuity? I think I. Come on. I'm not. Not the women. What, what women at? No, the man lost that one, Cal. Why? They might lose it. Wait. No, let me let me think. Let me think. I'm saying. I don't think. They did the poll, Cal, did you see this poll? They did a survey of married people. Everybody was at 30% cheating, men and women. You heard that one, too? That probably is true. So, what y'all think?
Neck and neck. They They probably. They probably is neck and neck cuz women do be sneaky as hell. But. God damn, man. So, what's up, man? What y'all think about the promiscuity? We going to go neck and neck. We. All right. So, let me ask you a question. Do you think and black men are more promiscuous than black women?
Yeah. What? You trying to set us up. No, I'm asking a question. I'm really. No, I'm trying to think about it because men, they like to sleep around or they they would like to. They would like to have the option to deal with a lot of women. So, y'all are like actually promiscuous, no? We not be like actually like that. That's a part of who y'all are. So, I would say they got. They. They are more promiscuous than women because that's part of who they are as men. Yeah, biologically imperative.
That's what they be saying, right? That's what they be saying, right? But if you just want to go off of the rhetoric. So, can we get one? Can we get that point or not? Well, let's. You can get that point. Talk through it. Why we got to talk through it? Biologically. You silly funny. [laughter] Biological imperative, yes. Access, no. Think about this. If you go out. Go ahead, Cal. I was saying no access and there's all these hoes that's throwing they [ __ ] around. [laughter] If you go out. What was they saying that they don't got access? But we out here just Giving it out. Look, they don't have access until we grant it to them, right? Cal is leaving out the other part of the access thing that she's been hearing for 20 years. Which part she leaving out, Cal? They. The. They only sleep with the men that they desire, which is 30%. That. That's the whole rhetoric bar, right? 30% are the ones with all the kids, right? That's the whole rhetoric bar that we've been hearing for 20 minutes, 20 years, 15 years, right? I only. I ain't been here that long, but I know that's been being said. Me, neither. So, it's. It's only a the minority of men that have access, so that excludes about 70% of the men, right? And it. Well, 70% cuz the 70% also includes the married men, right? That's how they broke down the stat before. So, they're not desirable, right? So, you saying the men aren't aren't aren't or the women? The. The men aren't. And so, think about this. You guys go out every day of your life, you get hit on. How you know that, Cal? Hold on. Take this walk with me. How many no's [clears throat] you really got in you? I got a lot of no's in me. Oh, you got a lot of no's in you. But you got to say. Listen. Listen. Think about this. There's another stat. Let me give y'all this one. This fun cuz y'all don't know the stats like that, right? And I. And I. And I'm you. We're using them very surface level. We're not probably not doing a good job, but we're just using the numbers that we've heard all the time. 35 men on average, 35 years old, eight bodies. You can hardly. Who said that? That's including all men. That's including all men. Damn. Hold on. That's including all races. So, what that mean? Also. You said that men on average get eight bodies. By the time they're 35, yes. I saw. I've seen. Insecure. Issa's character went through something that all the women championed. It was called a hoe phase. So, you believe that all women went through a hoe phase? I just know Insecure was a lens into how y'all act and I hate it. It's a broadcast. Majority. [clears throat] What you doing? We can't even hear you. Majority said what? No, I was saying to me, we can't hear the baby. Sometimes people think you it's loud in the background, but it don't be. Go ahead. Go ahead, Leah. We can't hear him, T Lee. I thought I. So, you. So, you asking if majority of women had hoe phases? We're just. We're just measuring this promiscuity thing. Oh. So, here. What we're doing is we're we're we're using. So, what we did was rewind. We have rewound time, right? And we go into how the conversation was usually had before we start digging a little deeper. So, you got. What else would come? Cal can attest. The abortion stat, right, Cal? That would be entered in about how abortions. Promiscuity, remember? What do you mean? Women could get abortions from THEIR PARTNER. Why do we got to be? Because she. You. You know what I'm saying? Well, you're right. Whoever was putting penis in vagina was the partner, that's for damn sure. So, So, that's another one, right? We. We would be stacking these up to say promiscuity with the little line. This doesn't mean necessarily because women get an abortion that they was just out here [ __ ] multiple different men. You know what's interesting? Does mean it's not safe. Maybe not doing it here in a secure way, so that means it's just willy-nilly. So, then you can assume. [laughter] That? I thought promiscuous is. I guess that's promiscuous. You really trying to get us to be 6 and 0, right? He so cheap, Mark. Uh, it's the same. Women. The same. I think I think women actually came out with a few percentage points higher, but I didn't even push that one. I'm just telling you all the things that would come out that you would have to retort. It's fine. I'm fine being the B-side. I don't. [laughter] I'm not arguing. We already had the. We had this talk maybe two episodes ago and men said men won, women two. I stick with that. I agree. Okay.