Transcription
There's people out there who don't want something casual, who wants to have a strong relationship with someone. They want them to be like their partner, their teammates, and you guys grow together, and you do fun stuff together. Like, why doesn't anybody want that anymore? Is it just me? Like, am I alone? Am I dying alone because I don't I don't want casual.
>> [snorts] >> And I just I feel like that's all people want now.
>> Okay, some free advice for you. If you're interested in long-term commitment, then stop dressing like you're on the way to the club. Everything about your presentation says that you are optimizing for physical appraisal. The bare shoulders and the upper chest, all that deliberate exposure of skin, all the glam makeup, the stylized hair, that white dress that like hugs your body. Come on, think about the message that you're sending. If you want men to be taking you seriously and to look at you and to think in terms of like a long-term relationship, then you've got to shift your attention away from your body and your appearance and direct it towards the person that you are. And I would do it quickly because men are opting out. I read an article recently about how landlords in Australia can't raise their rents any higher because everyone's just opting out. They're not paying. They still need a place to live, but if rent gets too expensive, they'll just move back in with their parents, or they'll crash on a friend's couch or something. You can't just raise rents forever, and I realized that the creative solutions that people are employing in the rental market actually perfectly describes the dating market as well. It's a perfect metaphor. Women raise their prices too high, and so men are just walking away.
>> We're going to get married. I don't want to get married. There's no benefit for the man. He only has everything to lose. A man can be completely be to his wife, provide, protect, take care of the kids, you know, obviously when he's not working, whatever. And the wife can step out and cheat, and what's the result of that? Man has to pay alimony, has to pay child support, loses his house, loses the cars, loses everything. Why? What's the point?
>> We are actually in uncharted territory. Never before in our collective human history has this ever happened before, where men are just saying, "No, I'm just not going to get married. I don't want to." Which leaves women like these confused, like, "Where are the people who want to have long-term relationships?" But what's being exposed is that women don't have the monopoly that they thought that they did. Let me explain because relationships between men and women used to be reasonably straightforward. Just like a renter gives a fair price to a landlord, and then in exchange gets somewhere to live. It's good, it's fair, it's a win-win transaction. That's how it used to be in marriage. The man brought a certain amount of like protection, resources, leadership, emotional stability, discipline for the children, manual labor. That was his contribution, and in return, a woman brings softness and warmth and domestic contributions, physical affection, nurturing for the children, gratitude and appreciation. You know how it goes. You know, he would trade his masculinity for her femininity. And everyone was happy. They're both exchanging their complimentary skills, and it was fair and equal. But what if women collectively wanted to change the price? Landlords have to compete with each other. They don't want to get undercut, so they're subject to market conditions. What feminism did that's so unique is it kind of created a cartel around the price of being in a relationship with a woman. I explain how that works in part two, but just imagine what happens if the landlord starts making changes to the arrangement. You know, the rent goes up, the utilities are no longer covered, there are repairs that don't get fixed, inspections are more frequent, and then the rent goes up again. And at first, the tenant doesn't complain, you know, because these don't happen all at once. It's just little incremental changes. It happens gradually, so they keep on adjusting to this new sense of what's normal. But, that doesn't go on forever. At some point, the renter reaches their breaking point, where they look at their budget, they look at the quality of what they're getting, and they say, "No, this isn't worth it. I'm breaking my lease. I'm walking away." And this is where a lot of men are. It happened gradually, so they didn't notice it at first, but there comes a tipping point where they go past their threshold, where they look at their relationships, and even if they can't articulate it, there's just something in their gut that says, "No, this is not fair. This is not right. There's no way that this arrangement, with everything that I'm contributing and how little I'm getting in return, there's no way that this is normal."
>> After 2 years of marriage, my husband told me he doesn't love me anymore.
>> No, that's not what I said.
>> That's exactly what you said.
>> No, I said you can't keep buying stuff we don't need on Amazon every day.
>> That's the same thing.
>> The deal for men has never been worse. But, how did we get here? What did women actually do? Okay, three things. First, new burdens on men, new demands and expectations that were never part of the original deal. Number two, protections have been removed. Things that used to safeguard men inside relationships, they have been stripped away. And lastly, a drop in quality. And this one especially stings because at the same time, the men have been paying a higher and higher price, the quality of what they're getting in return has just been plummeting.
>> I work hard.
>> I don't want that.
>> hard to afford this.
>> I sent you the link. What else do I have to do? I mean, I told you the ring that I wanted. I don't want that. I don't
>> Just because it ain't six, seven carats, I mean, it's
>> I don't care. I told you what I wanted. You asked me what I wanted. I told you what I wanted, and that's I don't want that.
>> I don't know what you paid for that ring, but I promise you, it's too much. This is not a good deal. So, bring it back to this woman who's confused why men don't want long-term relationships, let me break it down for you, okay? Let me explain why. Let's start with the burdens that have been added to men. Your man is now simultaneously expected to be a solid rock of stoicism anytime that you need grounding from your emotional chaos, but you also require him to be emotionally sensitive and vulnerable and highly expressive with his emotions anytime you feel like connecting. You expect him to step up and be a leader anytime you're fatigued, when you just want to turn off your brain and let somebody else make the decisions. But, you also want him to step aside and relinquish being a leader anytime you feel like being in charge. He's meant to just surrender the reins the moment that you feel assertive. And because he's the man, you 100% expect him to be the protector and the provider because that's what a man does. But, also this isn't the olden days anymore. And so now, he has to do half of the housework and half of the parenting. And if he doesn't, then you are a victim and you're being exploited.
>> give a [ __ ] what a man does for work. If he does not come home and contribute to your life, meaning helping you with the kids, helping you with the house, helping you with the laundry, he is not the [ __ ] one, sis. If you do not have a partner that comes home and contributes to your [ __ ] life, you don't have a partner. You literally have somebody who is paying your bills and then you're taking care of their kids or you're basically raising them and taking care of their laundry and their dishes and all that stuff. And if your partner thinks that paying the bills is contributing to your life and that's all they need to do, that's leave. I don't give a [ __ ] what a man does for work. If your man goes to work and he comes home and does nothing, doesn't help with the kids, doesn't help with the house, he is not the [ __ ] one. He's a lazy piece of [ __ ] I don't give a [ __ ] So, when he comes home from work, it's time to clock in, [ __ ] It is time to get this [ __ ] rolling so that we can all have a peaceful night so we can all get some rest, we can all take care of ourselves. I said what the [ __ ] I said.
>> let's just imagine you're a man and for some reason you married this woman, sorry. And the moment that you get home, she starts screaming at you and she says, "I don't care how hard you had to work today on the oil rig. Don't you realize that I had to go like this with a vacuum cleaner and I had to press a button on the washing machine. It is time for you to step up." At that stage, you might start thinking, "Shit, I think I might have made a mistake getting into a relationship with this woman. I got to get the hell out of this situation. You know, this is not a good deal. All these additional burdens that have been added on top of me." No, I don't I don't want to pay this price anymore. I want out. But then, you discover that you can't leave. You can't extricate yourself, not easily, because the protections that you used to have as a man, they're now gone. In the US, your wife could participate in a gang divorce you and still get paid alimony.
>> Steve Harvey's wife cheated on him with like their personal chef and now she wants like $400 million for their divorce. It just sounds like victim whining to me. Like I think you guys have to step up.
>> Well, at the risk of being accused of victim whining, let's just go through the protections that have been taken away from men. Thanks to no-fault divorce, women can now lie to their husband, commit infidelity, abuse him, steal from him, but for some reason, we can't assign fault. So, financially, she's still going to get paid. Men have also lost the protection of due process. It seems as though feminism has gleefully removed the burden of proof from divorce and custody arrangements. All she needs to say is that she was mistreated or that the children were abused. Not that she'd have a vested interest in making up these lies, but the simple accusation, that's enough. Protection orders in the state that I live in here in Australia, they issue protection orders just based off accusations. So, her lack of evidence is no longer a protection. The truth? [clears throat] Irrelevant. She doesn't have to prove [ __ ] So now for many years while the custody proceedings are underway, he can't see his kids. And in these contentious cases, when the decision finally does come down, it's not likely that he's going to get primary custody or even 50%. 50% custody is the dream for most divorced fathers. They wish they can get that. They desperately hope for it. But instead, he becomes Uncle Dad. He pays child support and sees them every other weekend, his own children. And how about this one? Certain jurisdictions If he's not the father, like they take a paternity test and it proves that she lied and committed paternity fraud, guess what? That doesn't even end his child support obligations. She cheats and she lies in the most brutal and disgusting way that you possibly can about [clears throat] paternity, about whether your children are actually yours. She misleads and manipulates him potentially for years. Does she face any financial consequences? Can he sue her? Is there any jail time? Is it a criminal offense? There is no consequences for her. And in many cases, the guy still has to pay child support. The protections that men used to have in marriages and relationships, that's just evaporated. And so, a lot of men can see this for what it is and they think, "Wow. Okay, I will be very vulnerable once I sign that marriage contract. I'm not sure if this is worth it." I mean, it's a pretty big risk. I've got all these new burdens. I've got very little protection. And what exactly am I getting in return? What's the dating market like? What are the women like? What is the quality of partner that I can expect in the modern dating scene?
>> Men don't have a say in women's lives. As
>> Do you think the empowerment of women in any way contributes to their own objectification?
>> No.
>> Does the fact Does the fact that an OnlyFans exist prove that women are okay being objectified as long as they're getting paid?
>> No. It means that we can use our body the way that we want to without men's control.
>> Do you consider work to be real work?
>> Yes. Yes. And if you don't, you suck.
>> Why are women more accepting of women who can but are less likely to accept a man who can buy it?
>> Because it's empowering to be able to do what you want with your body when you want to be able to do it.
>> But isn't that like shaming your own customers?
>> No.
>> Well, how can you be a victim of your own product?
>> Because it's my body. My body, my choice. My body, my choice.
>> I'm just imagining the guy who's potentially going to marry this woman in the future. You know, he's accepted all the additional burdens that will be put upon him, and he's swallowed the injustice of the fact that he's going to have no protections for him should things go south in his marriage. He's taken an enormous risk, and he's decided to to be brave or foolhardy at least and to to push forward. And then this woman, this is his prize. This is his reward. This is what he gets in return for everything that he gives. I know that I will be accused of dehumanizing women when I say that there has been a collective decline in quality of women over the past decades, but I mean, why should we be afraid of saying it? It's obviously true. I actually find it more dehumanizing to men to expect them to stomach this drop in quality given everything that they are sacrificing. Such an unequal exchange. He has to be Superman, you know, and be good at everything and do everything where she gets to be completely devoid of any femininity. And it's not just the high body counts and the [ __ ] social media. It's the nasty, ugly, hateful personalities that modern women have developed. Women have become aggressive and loud, and they're always complaining, and they present themselves as victims of everything. There's no accountability. And men are just expected to sit there and smile while her brazen hypocrisy is on display. he's meant to nod and agree while she demonizes masculinity and blames every problem in existence on men? Does this answer your question why there aren't any men out there who are interested in long-term commitment, why they are just keeping things casual? It's because the deal sucks. Men are walking away. They are done, like truly done, many of these guys. And I think that it's important to take a moment and just appreciate how unprecedented and extraordinary that is for a man to just say, "No, I'm just done with marriage. You know, I'm not going to marry you women." Do you realize how obnoxious and entitled you need to be to push a man to get to that point? Every one of a man's instincts are biologically inclining him towards partnership and reproduction and companionship. And somehow, you've severed that. And they already stomached so much. You know, they already adapted to new baselines of expectations. They shifted. They moved. They compromised. They put in this effort. And they didn't want to walk away because men define themselves often by what they provide for women. Being a husband, a father, a protector, a provider, that's his identity. And I want to go into detail on the psychological mechanisms that were at play when men were accepting these worsening conditions. I cover that in part two. But men had already invested so much. You know, the sunken cost. They didn't want to walk away from that unless they absolutely had to. And you probably thought that it would never come. You know, I imagined that you thought that men would just tolerate nonsense and [ __ ] forever. matter how much guilt and shame you you heaped upon masculinity, men would just sit there and continue to take it. But congratulations, ladies. We We reached the edge. The hatred and the bitterness in your personalities has finally gotten too much. And many men have just reached their breaking point.
>> Men are predators. Men will go into spaces where there are guaranteed going to be women and they will basically just harass them. There are predators that exist in this world. Men are predators.
>> You know, I actually think it might be the landlords in this situation who are the true predators. You thought that because everybody needs a place to live that you could just keep raising rents forever. But you underestimated how good men are at problem-solving. If all you offer him up in the dating market are terrible options, you know, you either marry this nasty lady or this horrible woman, why would you expect that he's definitely going to marry one of them? No, he might just walk away. Many men are delaying commitment. They're not rushing into anything. And yeah, this woman doesn't like it because all the men she meets are dating casually. But from a man's point of view, he's thinking, why exactly would I sign a document that gives you ownership of my testicles? And if men do get married, they want prenuptial agreements. Why should you as the woman be the only one that gets protection just because your protection comes default from the state because of our feminist society and I have to pay a lawyer to get mine, why shouldn't I as a man have that same protection? Other guys are exclusively only dating religious women, you know, ladies with socially conservative traditional values. Other guys are choosing to only date young women, you know, women before they've been indoctrinated into feminism too badly. Or they're going overseas, you know, passport bros, right? They're moving to countries where the women still have some femininity. Other guys are finding companionship with sugar babies and escorts or AI girlfriends. Or they're busy with their hobbies or their friends. And if they want children, they'll use a surrogate. And these options are only expanding as they lose the stigma that they once had and social permission increases. I explain how that works socially in part two. But I want to be clear, I'm not celebrating any of this. It actually breaks my heart because it's unnatural. You know, men and women should be together. We shouldn't be coming up with creative solutions on how to avoid each other and have surrogate relationships and other things that fulfill us in our lives. No, men and women should be committing to each other. Given the strength of that commitment, the thought that you had that you could just make the deal worse and worse and worse for men, expecting that well, what are they going to do? They're trapped. They need us. That was wrong. You know, ultimately, you overplayed your hand. Men have a strong instinct for justice and fairness. And they looked at the deal that you were offering, and they realized, correctly, that it sucks. So, for this woman who's confused, and for any woman out there who wants to attract a man into a long-term relationship, this is my advice. Stop thinking of your relationships with men as a competition or a trade negotiation where you're trying to get the better deal. You're negotiating against him. You you know, you're trying to define a bargain. No, realize that the two of you are on the same team. When he wins, you win. And then, start to roll back the burdens that you placed upon him. Give him some of his protections back and cultivate your femininity. Make yourself a more desirable partner so that he begins to feel like being with you is a good deal. Make him feel like a winner. And that will be a good thing for you because you have fun dating a winner. When he is happy, he is going to treat you well. And I promise, you'll have decades and decades of love and a healthy functioning relationship between the two of you. This is not happiness at his expense. This is complimentary happiness because both of you, you have your own strengths. You're meant to work together. That's how nature designed us for mutual benefit. I still I have so much left to say on this topic, but let's quickly recap. Okay, so in part one, we've spoken about how women thought that they were landlords that could just increase the price of rent forever. We spoke about how the deal got worse and worse and worse with the increased burdens on men, the lack of protection, the drop in quality until we reached this breaking point where men just opted out and they started engaging in creative solutions. In part two, I want to explore the male psychology of how men kept adapting to this worsening deal. I think that's important so we know the weak points that allowed all of this to occur inside our own minds. I want to talk about how feminism acts as a kind of cartel sort of forcing all the women to raise their standards together. That one's really interesting. And also, what we're seeing now and what we're likely to see in the future as men engaging in creative solutions becomes more and more socially acceptable and what impact that's going to have. Lots to talk about, heaps more depth. If you enjoy these videos in the part one format, I guarantee you're going to love the part two format. You can actually watch part two right now for free. All you need to do is go over to my Patreon and you'll get a free 7-day trial membership.