Transcription
So, you've blocked them. You hit that block button. You finally cut them off. You changed the locks in your house. You changed forwarded their mail elsewhere. But for some reason, you're still waiting for that text message from them that says, "Hey, what you doing? I miss you. Hey, big head. Hey, big butt." Whatever it is, right? Hey, hey, dookie head. Hey, dookie butt. Whatever they got some kind of pet, pet, playful nickname that they give you, right? You're waiting around for that, right there. You're waiting around for them on Facebook, Instagram, message, or something like that. You really truly want to know, do they ever truly leave you alone? Will a narcissist ever leave you alone? Will they ever leave you be?
'Cause I get a lot of times in the comment section, they say, "Lee, you're a diagnosed narcissist. Can you answer this question for me? Will a narcissist ever truly leave you alone? Please, Lee. Please, please, please." That's what I'm talking about today, y'all. The cold, hard truth about narcissists and hoovering, leaving you, leaving you alone, and other stuff like that. But keeping it hot and ready, narcissists never forget you. I'll leave with that right there. A narcissistic person will never ever forget you. Right? So, no. Yo, all that other stuff. They would never ever forget you. That's not how it works. The mind of a narcissist does not work like that. I can't just forget anybody like that. Like if I spent some quality time with you, if I've known you, now if it's a if it's a one-night stand or something like that, you might be forgotten. Like I don't know, like that. You might very well be forgotten. I don't make the rules, right? But if it's deeper than that, if we've been together for a while, we've dated for years or whatever, we shared something, they know they're not going to forget you.
Now, forgetting and leaving you alone are two different things, right? They will never ever forget you. But that doesn't mean that they will always bother you. Right? Just because they don't forget you, it doesn't mean that they will always bother you. That some of them will absolutely leave you alone. Right? So, I'm going to just kind of get into more detail and explain the difference between like being deleted or being put on a shelf. Put on a supply shelf, so to speak, right? The supply shelf. And things of that nature. You know what I mean? I've been trying to book your time for an hour. Uh, you have to check my site, my site, my website, mentalillness.net for all things Lee Hammock. Well, welcome to the live, y'all. Welcome to the live. Welcome to the live. Um, but yeah, we're going to hop right into it, y'all. No, no, no waiting around. No nothing. Again, the sup- we're going to talk about, we're going to call this the supply shelf. The shelf. The shelved supply to a narcissist.
People are kind of like apps on a cell phone, right? You can download an app on a cell phone. You know what I mean? We might close the app. We might or like, like window, like windows on a browser or apps on the phone. We might close the app or close the window, but it still might be running in the background, right? It's not deleted. It's still there. It's still in the search history, right? I might, I can close the window on my computer right now, and but it's still in the search history. All you got to do is click, you, you, you, you click in the uh, the, the line where you put your, the type, the stuff in, it pops right on up, isn't it? It pops right up. Search history. You're still there. Like, so some people are, they will put you on the shelf. It doesn't mean that they get rid of you. So, if they put you on the shelf, right? It doesn't mean that they typically, they're not going to leave you alone. If you're on the shelf, they won't leave you alone.
Y'all know if y'all been following me, I use the Toy Story analogy, right? I always tend, tend to use the Toy Story analogy of how, what you mean, in, in the Toy Story movie, we're going to say Andy is a narcissist. I'm not saying that Andy is a narcissist, but in Toy Story, Andy is a narcissist, right? Andy has his favorite toy, Woody. You. You are Woody in this situation. You are the current supply. I get the most validation from you, from Woody, right? But all of a sudden, out of nowhere, new shiny supply, Buzz Lightyear comes into play, you know? Buzz Lightyear is the new supply. I might put Woody in the toy chest, toy chest, just like, just like Andy did in Toy Story, put him in the toy chest, but he didn't get rid of him. He played with Buzz. Buzz, Buzz, Buzz Lightyear to the rescue, right? Buzz flying around the room, you know? All that type of stuff happens. He got rid, he didn't get, he put Andy on, he put Woody on the shelf, but he didn't get rid of Woody. Woody was still there. He just was playing with Buzz more. Buzz was the shiny new supply. But he didn't want to just give Woody away so anybody else could have Woody. He put Woody away so he can play with him when he needed to.
Some of y'all, if you were on the shelf, they are still reaching out to you. They, they are still contacting you. They're still messaging you, calling you, liking your stuff on Facebook. Sometimes, you are still, you are still sleeping with them, right? Even if, even if they moved on to a new supply, you are still sleeping with them. I've heard, y'all would be surprised how many times I heard that story right there. Lee, they left me for, Lee, they left me for someone else, but [snorts] like Lee, Lee, they left me for someone else, but they came back to me and said that they made a mistake and now we've been sleeping together, but they won't leave the new supply. They keep me, they keep me around, though. What should I do? I was like, first of all, stop [ __ ] them, 'cause that's not going to help anything. 'Cause if you're sleeping with them while they're with somebody else, they think that you're okay with being a side piece. 'Cause are you not? Are you not? I jumped off the shelf and left the house. [laughter] Are you not? I don't make the rules. You see what I'm saying? That's what ends up happening right here. This is what goes on. So, sometimes if you don't have to contact them, if you're done with them, if you feel like you're on the shelf, you have to block them. There's no other way around it, right? What's going on, Tammy? There's no other way around it. Hey, what's going on, Mama? Mama Morp, what's up? But, there's no other way around it. If y'all are just joining the live on YouTube or whatever, Facebook, make sure y'all hit the thumbs up button. Drop a comment in the comment section. I'm in the comments as well, y'all. Um, well, as y'all can see, I've been going live a lot more, haven't I? I've been going live a lot more. I like talking to y'all. I like answering these questions and stuff like that. The course I took myself off the shelf. Yes. Because think about it like that. That's what ends up happening. Like, if they are, if you're consistently dealing with them while they have someone else, they're going to keep you at on the side. They're going to keep you on the shelf. Right? Y'all know my, some of y'all might have taken my course. I have a course called Understanding the Seven Stages of a Narcissistic Relationship. This stage I called it, I called the recycle stage or the, I call it as actually got storage or storage or recycle. They put you in storage. They keep you there, right? You know, they put you in storage. They keep you there. They do all this type of stuff because it benefits them to have backups. One person very rarely is enough for a narcissist. If y'all want to check out my course, courses.thatmentalillness.net. You can find my courses there, right? Um, but, [snorts] they very rarely, you, you are just going to be able to deal with one person, you know? So, they like having backup supplies. Sometimes they, when they, when they are, when they are with you, they have a backup supply that is someone else. You know? They have a backup supply that is someone else. But, when they're with somebody else, they might have a backup supply that is you. And some of you are willfully in the back of the supply position. Because some, something is going on, right? We, we're trauma, trauma bonded. Something is going on. Something is going on. I'm done with my narc. Yeah, power up. Power up. If you knew the channel, I should have let you know what you're talking about. Appreciate that, seven. But yeah, they are, this is what they got going on. This is what's happening. This is what they do. So, you have to get into this space right here. Mine had hundreds, hundreds of supplies. Damn. Mhm. He tried to triangulate me with the new supply and I walked. Good for you. Good for you. Because if you are, are you, if they are able to get a reaction from you or to triangulate you, they're going to keep doing the same things over and over again. Even if you're married to them. Yes, absolutely. Even if you're married to them, they can have a backup supply. And sometimes you might be the backup supply even like they might leave you, stay, refuse to divorce you, and stay married to you, and have you on the side. You see what I'm saying? That happens, too. It's this type of stuff sometimes you got to worry about, man. It like, it they will play in your mind. It will play in your face. This is what they do sometimes. They do all this playing and messing with you because a lot of narcissistic people enjoy it. They get a rise out of it, right? They absolutely get a rise out of messing with you and doing the things that they are doing to you because they, if makes them feel empowered. It empowers them to do more 'cause they feel like they can get away with it. Right? That's the baby steps they had to take right there.
So, some of them will absolutely not leave you alone. They'll put you on a supply shelf. But on the flip side of things, on the flip side of things, there are a lot of narcissists, right? You know, they will leave you alone. You know, they will leave you alone. A narcissist will leave you alone if they feel like they cannot get any type of supply from you anymore. Right? When it, when they stop, when they stop getting reactions from you, when you stop reacting, when you start taking your power back, when you stop giving them energy, when you stop responding to them, sometimes when you even when you gray rock them, gray rock. You know, it's like it's not necessarily always about going no contact and disappearing on them. When they are, when you gray rock them and they are no longer getting that emotional reaction that they are used to from you, that can lead to this going on as well. Right? This can happen, too. So, you sometimes you got to think about it in that position, in that space right there. Of this is how it works out as well. You know, you gray rock them. You take away the supply that they're getting. And then like, look, when you are, if you're gray rocking them, you know, you imagine your cell phone going, imagine your cell phone going dead, right? You know, right before it go dead, especially if you got an iPhone, the battery, the battery light turn red, don't it? It's red. That's how it is. When you're gray rocking a narcissist, their supply battery is on red. You know, it's red as hell. It's absolutely red and it's blink, it's red and it's flashing. 10%. They try to go on power save mode. So, they do that type of stuff right there and they keep doing it over and over again to try to get a reaction from you, to try to find a way to get a supply from you, a way to get something to drag something out of you. And does it work sometimes? Yeah. That's why gray rocking is so important. That's why taking a figure out, figure out the type of supply that they are getting from you and take it away from them. If it's emotional supply, take it away from them. If it's sexual supply, take it away from them. Is it physical supply, physical intimacy? Take it away from them. If it's financial supply, take it away from them or limit it, right? So, sometimes it's very difficult to just turn it off. Turn it down. Whatever you're doing, turn it down. Sometimes you have to turn it, turn it down, right? You have to turn it down. If y'all just joined on YouTube, make sure y'all hit the thumbs up. Uh, hit the like button. Now, so you drop a comment as well. Subscribe as well. If y'all just popping up on here, you ain't subscribed. Cool. What is stopping you from subscribing? You know, so gray rocking is a way to take the, the back from them and give them no supply. But also, if you cause a narcissistic injury, which leads to a narcissistic collapse, sometimes that's how you get deleted. Sometimes that's how you get them to leave you be. They'll sometimes they'll leave you alone forever if you cause a narcissistic injury. Right? No, a narcissist will leave. What is a narcissistic injury? I'm glad you asked. A narcissistic injury is when you do something to crush their ego. Their ego is smacked ferociously. You do something to ferociously smack their ego. You either move on and find somebody that makes them feel this big or you just be a, you show that you don't need them. You live without them. You're happy without them. That's also crushes their ego 'cause narcissists, at the end of the day, want to be needed. We want to be needed. So, if our ego, if, if we, you see you don't need us, that crushes the ego. But the best and most efficient way to crush a narcissist's ego is to expose them. Let's keep it hot and ready. The most efficient way to crush a narcissist's ego is to expose them in some way, shape, or form. How can I contact you? It's on the screen right here. You can find me at mental, y'all, everything's at mentalillness.net. Even my, even my email address is on there. mentalillness.net, everything is on there. Um, they will, like, a lot of times they will leave you alone if you cause a narcissistic injury that they cannot recover from. Right? If they cannot recover from it, they cause this narcissistic injury and it does some damage, right? But you have to be careful. There's always a but, isn't it? You have to be careful causing a narcissistic injury because as you know, some of them will lose their damn minds, right? You cause a narcissistic injury, they might try to retaliate. They're going to, you injure me, I need to injure you back times 10. Right? He still follows me on social media on a fake page that he won't tell me about. Oh, yeah. And if he's following you, this is weird. You say you know I'm watching you on social media from a fake page. Mhm. I told the narc he can't reject me. He rejects me, he rejected himself. Yeah, be safe. Be safe, Natalie. But that's what goes on, y'all, in the mind of a narcissist. Like, sometimes they will leave you be. Like, it's not impossible. I know people, some people just like, it's impossible. They don't. Some narcissists, I'm just telling you, sometimes y'all not just dealing with your regular run-of-the-mill narcissist. Some of y'all are dealing with psychopaths. Some of y'all are dealing with crazy narcissistic people that are out to try to hurt you and bring pain to you. That's just the truth of it right there. Some of them are out here trying to hurt you and bring and just disrupt your life, disrupt your peace. And some of them are so broken that they won't leave you alone. Right? Who said that? Yep, perfect word, perfect word right here. Obsession. Like they become obsessed with you to a certain extent and they just drive them crazy. It really does drive them crazy. Sociopathic, yep. Do they purposely? Some of them absolutely purposely trigger you to try to make sure that they still can get some type of, try to make sure that they have some type of control over you so that they can get that narcissistic supply from you. Right? Some type of validation from you 'cause if you give me a reaction, uh, Nikita, if you give me a reaction, I think I still have some that validates me letting me know that I'm in some type of control. Right? Over here, right. Oh, Teresa, I saw your email. I was, I meant to respond to you today 'cause I saw you, you local. I saw you from, uh, Tarboro, Tarboro. I saw, I saw her. I got caught up. I'll respond to you, I promise. I did see your email. I did see it. Uh, yes, the malignant ones are crazy. The malignant ones. I just, I just had a call right before I hopped on this live. That's why I said 1:10 and not 1:00 with a young lady. She's dealing with a malignant narcissist that's stalkery and crazy. That's what happened right there, y'all. Sometimes they, that's what end up going on. Yes, obsessed. Yep. All day on the DL? Some of them are, yeah. Yeah, some of them absolutely are. Not all, some are. Some are. It's the blaming me for cheating. Yeah. They always find an excuse and do, do stuff like that. They always find an excuse to cheat or whatever, right? She said she doesn't know me well, she's the one who's been in my house. Can you clean my house? Like, she's cleaning your house? He left me six months ago, I cut him off. Yep. Sometimes you have to like, y'all. Sometimes you have to force the narcissist to leave you alone. You have to force them to leave you be. If, like, how do you force them? Sometimes you got to, sometimes you like, "Come on, get a," you got to walk. You got to wind up. You got to, you got to, you got to hit him. You got to, sometimes you got to hit him with the Y I Y I water. You got to wind it up and clock them, right? [laughter] Now, be careful. Call the police. Doc. Like, y'all, document everything. You absolutely have to document every. I did the wind up. You absolutely have to document everything that's going on. You have to visualize it and document it in order to to protect yourself. You absolutely do. Documentation is necessary. Sometimes it's recording them. Sometimes it's writing things down. So, sometimes that leads to getting a protective order. Like Nikosha said, like you, they leads to you having to get a protective order or something like that. You rather have it and not need it than to need it and not have it. Documentation is absolutely important 'cause you're going to wish you wrote this stuff down. You're like, "Damn it, I should have wrote that down. Damn it, I should have recorded that. Damn it, damn it, damn it." Right? And that's what ends up going on right there. How do I make him give me a document, give me a divorce document? I still ain't done. Like, sometimes you like, it's tough. 'Cause sometimes they don't want to, they don't want to necessarily want to let you go. It really depends on the situation right there, right? It really does. I started acting like him and he didn't like it. Yeah, if you start, if you, when you, when you feed a narcissist their own medicine, typically they spit it back up. Right? Typically they spit it back up. Document, paper trail, protective order, video record, camera, screenshots, everything you can. Document and put it in a place where if you're still them and you're not, if you're in the house with them, document everything and put it in a place where they cannot find it. They cannot find it. Right? Because you don't want to get in, you don't want to have some great documentation, everything you need, videos, recordings, everything, voice notes, everything, and then guess what [snorts] happens? They find it, delete it, throw it away. Right? But also, before you video record somebody or phone record them, make sure that whatever state or country you're in, make sure to check out the laws. Right? You don't want to record somebody and get in trouble. Like one-party or two-party states. Make sure you make sure you're in a one-party consent state before you record somebody. 'Cause you're in a two-party, the recording don't help you out. It's just the recording is just for personal use only. You can't use it in the court or anything like that. I have documentation on my phone. He keeps calling. I don't answer it. Then he started texting me BS. Yep. Keep ignoring. Like I said, you're taking the power away. Mhm. I calmly disagreed with my covert narcissist on something insignificant and he went full tilt, blamed me for everything. Yep. There I go. Something little or small disagreement, a small, a small rock, a small pebble can cause a can cause a huge crack in your windshield. Right? A small pebble can, it can cause a huge crack in the windshield. So, imagine the narcissist ego is that windshield, right? Imagine the narcissist ego is that windshield and whatnot. You know what I mean? This is what ends up happening. This literally ends up happening so much and this is how it goes right here. So, I would be very careful in this situation. Just watch it like that. You want to get yourself arrested? Call the police. They will arrest you. Yeah, that's why you have to remain calm. If you're snapping and the police get there, they're going to look at you like you're the antagonist. Right? They're going to look at you like you're the problem in this situation right here.
So, yeah, in conclusion, they might not ever leave you alone in their head, but you can make it so they never bother you in real life. Peace is a choice that you continuously have to make and you reaffirm yourself with, right? Not a permission slip that they give you. They, you're not asking them to give you peace. Sometimes you have to take peace. Sometimes peace is worth fighting for. Sometimes you have to go to court. Sometimes you have to get their asses locked up. Sometimes you have to take out child support or whatever the case may be. Sometimes you have to do it. You're going to ruin my life. You're going to ruin my. No, you're not ruining their life. They are ruining their own lives. They don't have to mess with you. They can choose to leave you alone. They're intentionally being antagonistic. They're intentionally messing with you and whatnot. They're intentionally doing so much stuff to you and all this other stuff. This is what they're doing. You know what I mean? So, you have to prepare for yourself in this situation right here. It's just like being able to protect yourself, being able to go forward, being able to do what you need to do. Like they are not in charge of you. You are in charge. You absolutely are. You know what I mean? 100% absolutely, 1,000% you are in charge. Don't let them, don't let them convince you otherwise that somehow, some way, shape, or form that they are in charge. They absolutely the hell are not in charge. You are. You hold the power. You hold the key. They can't do anything. They absolutely cannot do anything to mess with you. And that's what ends up happening right there, y'all.
So, right now, I got time for a few minutes for a Q&A, but then I have to, uh, hit the road, y'all. I have to hit the road. So, drop your questions in the chat and I will be doing it. Uh, purple horse. Mhm. I miss him intimately. Yeah, you can miss him intimately, but don't, don't go back to him intimately 'cause it'll make you harder to leave. Go watch my latest video on hysterical bonding and why you shouldn't sleep with your narcissistic ex. Even if, even if you. I can't get it anywhere else. Well, discipline. Appreciate that, Phil. Discipline is needed. Your life choice, take your power back. Yeah. Will you be doing a Q&A with your partner? I'm, I'm not. So, I haven't done a Q&A with my wife. My wife is, she's going to go live here pretty soon again here pretty soon on my channel. So, if my, she's going to do it on YouTube. So, if you're on YouTube or whatever, make sure you hit the subscribe button. She's probably going to go live in the next couple weeks to answer, do a Q&A and whatnot, y'all. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. I just did a video about NPD and BPD. I literally just did a, a detailed video about the difference between NPD and BPD. It's, look, look. I, I'm going to share the link right here in the comment section. I'm going to share the link in the comment section. Uh, the comments, I'm going to link to my, my video about, uh, NPD and BPD. This is it right here. It looks like it's a YouTube link. Go check that video out right now. STDs ain't fun. Hell no. I never said, I never met anybody who just said, "Hell yeah, STD. Hell yeah. Woo!" Woo! Mine told me to go find someone to love for me. Uh, Joe, I see, I see your comment, but you, but, but the B-word in there. So, I can't put it on the screen. It really just depends, man. Like I said, I don't know the whole situation in detail, but you really have to, it really just depends on if it's your stuff. You might have to take it to court, right? If it's your stuff, you have to take, you might have to take it to court. You might have to, you know, document everything that's missing or everything that she's took or whatever the case may be, and you might have to take it to court. 'Cause what, how does it benefit or make it seem like it benefits her if you're still in contact with her? How does it benefit her to give you your stuff back, you know? It's just staying out of jail. Is it doing that? Is it doing that, you know? What are the main challenges you face during your healing? Just, you know, uh, I don't know. Just like, hm. I don't even know what the main challenges for me are anymore, like, I'll just say consistency. Just being consistent with what I have to do. Yeah. The consistency and discipline. Mine says, "I'm the narcissist, but still wants me back." Yeah, that happens, too. Hm, hm, hm. What is trying? Somebody asked me, is triangulation? What is triangulation? It's when they put you, they put two or more people against each other by spreading rumors, by comparing and contrasting, trying to get people to compete that might not even know each other. All right. Somebody said, just abandon your stuff, my dude. It's not worth it. It'll mess with your head knowing it. Yeah, sometimes you, sometimes I say, sometimes you have to pay the tax. Sometimes the tax is getting, leaving the stuff behind. But I don't know the situation, right? So I don't know if the stuff is valuable. Could be some family heirlooms or something like that. I don't know what's in there right there, right? You know. I don't know if they're family heirlooms or what the situation is. The hard part is figuring out who you are as you heal. Yep. Who you, who you were at the beginning of the relationship and who you are as you heal will be two different people. Two different people. Are you proud of yourself? Yep. I'm super proud of myself. I've come a long, I've come a long way. Your customers. Did she steal your customers? Yep, been through that. Yeah. Do they even have feelings? Yes. They have feelings and they're very easy to hurt, which is why you get a lot of narcissistic rage and silent treatment and things like that. Self-awareness is what saves you. Yeah, not just for narcissists. Self-awareness on both sides works out for yourself the most. Why do they allow themselves to be recorded knowing how bad it would make them look? My ex was like, "I don't care what your legal rights is. I'm going to live like this." All knowing I was videoing him. Yeah, sometimes right there, that's the, that's hubris. That's ego right there. You know. That's hubris. That's ego. I'm the best. I'm going to be able to get out of this. That's hubris. That's, that's ego talking. That's not really out. It's not reality. That's delusional thinking right there. I'm the most amazing. Good for you. Got legal custody of your son. Walked away from a five-bedroom house and moved to another state. Sometimes you got to dip out. Why do they Hoover? Uh, really just depends. Sometimes they don't want you. It's ownership typically, right? It's only, they think you belong to them. They think you belong to them and whatnot. She cleaned and when she cleaned after that, I couldn't find it. What happened before she cleans and then the stuff goes missing. I don't know where it is. Oh, she took your papers. So again, it really just depends on how you go about doing it right there. But I found out she got three houses and makes like a thousand dollars a day. Uh, it's not about the money. Oh, she just, she just stealing [ __ ]. So really just, you might have to take it to court. If you, if you can prove that she got it, you might have to take it to court 'cause it, ask yourself the question, how does it benefit her to give you your stuff back? Anyway, y'all. I, I got to hit the road. I'll be going live again. I probably will be going live again Friday. I'll be live again Friday this week. Make sure, look, my courses are 50% off, 50% off courses when you enter the code mothers or fathers at courses.mentalhealthdaily.net. Check out my courses. My courses go into great detail about narcissistic abuse, healing from it, and under helping you understand what you went through, y'all. It looks like this right here. 50% off the courses, mothers or fathers at courses.mentalhealthdaily.net, y'all. I got to hit this road. I got to go to the store real quick, then I got to pick my son up. I appreciate all of y'all. Hit me up, y'all. Peace.