Jean Shepherd - "Wizard of Oz"

[Music]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. All right, all right. All just become, hey, did you hear the rumor that they're thinking of, of, uh, of creating World money? You know, we have a thing called US money. You know, our dollar is, is a US dollar. And, uh, of course, the French, the Franc, and the, the pound. And did you hear that story? Yeah, thinking of creating a thing called World money. In other words, it's, it's a money that, uh, if you go to France, or if you go to England, or any place else, it's exactly the same, no matter where you go. And it's called World money. Well, I don't know whether it's a good idea or not. Who knows? You don't know. Uh, do you?

You know, speaking of world things, you know, when I was a kid, if, if I may tell you a story about being a kid, I was really into, of course, I was a ham at the age of 10, roughly 10, 11. Yeah, I was just getting to be 11 when I got my ticket. And I have been licensed ever since. Uh, and, and of course, uh, here I was, uh, ham. Even to this day, a ham is not to be confused with a, with a CB. No way. Whole different ball game. And, uh, here I was. I was 11 years old. I was, uh, I was sitting at night in my, in my bedroom with my homemade receiver. I had built. I had a 6L6, uh, oscillator, crystal controlled. I had a 66T, uh, uh, Zep antenna, fed with a twin space, 600 ohm, uh, open lead. All the stuff I believe in. Here I'm 11. And, uh, now when I look back on it, I realize that was a, that was a kind of a strange kid, you know. And I'm sitting there in this, in this bedroom every night. And I'm talking to guys in places like Mermans. Well, you know, most kids that I knew at 11, at 11 years old, had trouble talking to the guy at the candy store. And here I was, I was knocking off, uh, long QSOs, long conversations with guys in places like Denmark. And, uh, not thinking anything of it, except I dug it all the way. See?

Well, of course, we were dealing in a symbolic language. It was code. Uh, code CW, uh, which I still am into very much. And I'm sitting there talking away there. And then, and I'd be sitting. And in fact, it was a guy I got talking to in that period that I always talked to about every, every other Wednesday. He would be on about 7:00 at night on 20M, on the low end of 20. And, uh, I'd sit there and we'd jabber back and forth. A G, a G is an English ham. And he was a, a G3. And who was, uh, 14 years old. So the two of us would sit there and by the hour, you know, jabber back and forth, a transatlantic, uh, uh, kid trivia talk, you know, sitting there, uh, when our highly complex technical stuff. And so I got into this, this business of, uh, of a symbolic language, you know, a code. It's a symbolic language.

Well, one day I was, I was with another guy who was a ham. And he said he had to go to school at night. So he, he said, "I, I can't hang around." He says, "I'm, I'm late for class." And some said, "What class are you going to?" And he says, "This thing I never heard of it before." Would be like if somebody said to you, "I'm going to a spiritualism class." Something. He said, "What the hell?" He says, "Uh, yeah, I'm going to this class." He says, "It's, they're giving it down at the Indiana University extension." You know, we were in school. We were in high school, just, or junior high, rather. And he's going down to the school. And, uh, he's a ham. And he's taking his car. So I said, "What is it?" And he says, "Well, come on down. He says, "They'll sign you up." And it's free. So, you know, the hell, free. So I, I took off on the bus with him. And I went out of this place. And I signed up. And I started to take this course.

Well, I went back there for over a year and studied every week, taking this course. And, um, and I got very fluent in it. We'd sit there and he and I would would talk for hours. And none of the other kids all around us, you know, the kids in school could conceivably understand what we were talking about. It wasn't, it was a created language. And they even had a society, a worldwide society, of which I was at one time a member. What is the name of that language? What is the name of that language? It's a language that's an international language. It's just like we're talking here about international money. It's a language that is spoken in all countries, exactly the same. So if you land in, in, uh, Tokyo, or if you land in, uh, Stockholm, and, and, and you can find somebody who speaks that language, it is an international language. And it's created. What? Correct. Correct. That is correct. Them all. And, uh, and, and I, I spoke this language, you know.

Well, well, it was very strange because, because I got very good at it. And we could, we could sit there for by the hour. He and I would sit and say things. We, we, you know, had running gags in this curious language. And we're talking away. Say something in it. Well, I'll have to think that. That's what I'm, that's the point of my story. That for this one brief year, he and I spoke this language fluently. And then you never heard anymore about it. All of a sudden, this language disappeared. And, uh, and it became sort of a, just the thing that had gone. Like doilies. You don't hear anybody sitting around making doilies. Uh, but they existed at one time. There was a whole doily culture. Well, at this time, there was a whole language culture that learned this language. And, uh, of course, then things went on. I went on to college. I went on to the Army. And a whole bit. And I hadn't thought of this language for a long time.

And the other day, I am sitting. I'm, you know, I'm sitting in a, in a place waiting to see some guy, a friend of mine. That was, we were going out to lunch. And I had the times. I'm reading the times there. And there's a little tiny piece down at the bottom, way down at the bottom. And it was a story about an International Conference. Was to be held in Stockholm. It says, "I won't even tell you what the name of the language is." So let's just let you simmer out. That says, "Anyway, the, the blank International Conference is, is, is being held in Stockholm where leaders in the promulgation of this language have gathered." And they're having this conference. I say, "Oh boy." I tried to remember if I could remember any of it. And, uh, I only remember a very few bits and pieces of it. EST, EST. Uh, oh, well, you know, who cares?

But now, now you, you, you, you can't, you, you really can't separate yourself from, uh, you know, when you're a kid, you, you, you get into these crazy things like that. And, uh, and I knew. Well, listen, I knew a kid who, at the age of, this was a, a family I knew who had this kid, see. And, uh, this guy went over to Denmark to study something. He's a, he's a scientist. And he went over to, to Denmark to some kind of anthropology thing he was going over there for. And they stayed in this Danish home. He said, "It's incredible." He says, "Within about three days, this five-year-old kid is out on the street talking to all the other kids in absolutely fluent Danish." This kid talked Danish like he, you know, he was five. He didn't know any differ. He's out there talking away with these kids. He learned it in about three weeks. And he says, he and his wife sitting around and house, they couldn't understand anything for years. The kid is jabbering away. He says, and, and after, after an entire year of this, the kid was, you know, absolutely fluent. And then he, he could read Danish just like he could, or speak Danish just like he could speak English. And, uh, all the kids. He went to Danish school, bit. He's five. He went to kindergarten and everything. And they came back. And he said, "Within about a year and a half, this kid not only couldn't read, couldn't, couldn't understand Danish, he didn't remember speaking it." Well, I don't know, you know, what to say about that, except there it is. Uh, but, but I spoke this language. And, uh, yes.

In fact, it even got to the point where we were writing. Like in this school, it was at Indiana, in Indiana University extension. And, uh, here we were. He and I, this guy Stanley Ryer and myself. We were the only kids in the whole thing, see. The, all the others were grown-ups, you know, they were college students and all that. And, uh, we were kids. And we were really into it. And so we had themes. We would write a theme every week. And they would give us, they would give us a lessons to work out. And it was really fun. I mean, I really enjoyed it. And it got to the point where we could speak it fluently. The, the whole class was conducted in that language. The second semester was like advanced, you see. The second semester. At that point, everything that was said in class was conducted in the language. And it was an artificially created language that was a combination of English, Spanish, German, French, uh, most of the major languages. But it was a, it was a constructed language. It was not an endemic language. And we could speak this like, uh, you know, like natives. We started to even speak with a strong accent of that type. And we took the smoking little short, angry-looking cigars and wearing a straw hat pulled down low over our eyes. We looked like a total native, you know.

Now, what was the name of that language? Well, when you, when you get into this kind of stuff, you know, you, you just do it. Uh, and, and he and I would learn this. Now, the reason that that I gave up on that, of course, after a year of this stuff, where you can, you go, I knew how to speak it. That was the end of it. There was no more, no more point in it. But, uh, but I got into another thing as a kid. Now, now, and this has never left me. And for those of you who are, who are into this thing, I have some, uh, very important, interesting news. Not news, really, but, but a, but a story here. You know, when you, did I can't explain how some guys, some people get into things that people around them have absolutely no interest in whatsoever. And they come from the same background, the same environment, the same shtick, you know? Know, for example, I'm probably the only guy that ever came from my hometown, which is a whole big town, this a whole big 200,000 people, that I know of, whoever went into showbiz. I never heard of anybody else. Nobody else. I don't know. I, I, I've never heard of anybody else who, who came from that area who went into any kind. Except one guy. One guy, yes. He was a legendary character. There was a guy who came from our high school who went, you know, in the early past days, before long before I ever got to this high school, he was just sort of a legend. He had been a movie star. But it was only rumored that he had lived there. But nobody ever actually knew. But, uh, so there's no explaining this. There isn't any, really. And, uh, and this, this, this, uh, for some reason, when I was about 12, roughly 12, I got unbelievably, unbelievably hooked on books. Now, I don't mean reading necessarily books. Oh, yes. Have you ever met a, a really dedicated bibliophile? Oh, boy. That's a, that's a, that's a fanaticism that borders on the, the true maniacal. Uh, a dedicated bibliophile. And he doesn't necessarily read much. He's just talk. It's just like, you don't think, for example, that that the stamp collectors mail letters, do you? Or write a lot of letters to their aunt? No way. They collect stamps. Quite often has nothing to do with with mailing things. Uh, that's the same way with guys that are gun collectors. I know a gun collector that is afraid. Ever. He would never shoot a gun. This guy's really scared of guns. He never shoots guns. But he collects guns. And nothing to. He collects his works of art. And he has a whole giant, fantastic collection of guns. But never shoots his guns. No way. He's scared of them. Uh, he just doesn't do that.

Well, anyway, I got, I got into, uh, I get into books. And that. Now, now, how I got into books, of course, uh, I can, I can really tell you. It came about. The first, I started to go to the library. And, yeah, yeah, that's right. I went to the library there. And Miss Easter was in charge of the library. She had white hair. And she, she used to, uh, she used to encourage kids coming to, you know, to the library there. And like in many libraries, discourage kids, sadly enough. But she was, she was great. Then we'd go to the library. And, and every Saturday, they had. Did you ever go to these things when you were a kid? Every Saturday, they would have some, uh, somebody would read stories to the kids in the library. Sure. They have that here in New York. Uh, that the library has a, has a program like that where people who know how to read stories well, and they, they come to the library. Well, one of my earliest remembrances of a library was going down on a Saturday afternoon at two with a bunch of other little kids. We were little kids. We were maybe, oh, I guess six, something like that, five. And, and they would have a lady there who read stories. Now, what you, she read all kinds of stories. She would read stories like, uh, like, uh, oh, she would read out of the Oz books. And she read stories like, uh, she read us, for example, Mark Twain. She would read us. In fact, one whole month, every Saturday, she would read us chapters of Tom Sawyer. And, you know, that was really great. As kids are sitting there, really digging it. So, you, we developed a taste, I think, around there, because of this scene, we developed this taste for literature. Not necessarily, uh, uh, Marvel Comics literature, real literature. And, uh, that was a whole different. And I'm really delighted now when I look back on it. I said, "That was, that was a very important thing that happened to me." Uh, and I didn't know it at the time. But, uh, when you're five and you're sitting there listening to to Mark Twain, and you're listening to, uh, Alice in Wonderland, you're listening to the real thing. Uh, you begin to see there's a certain shallowness in Superman. It just doesn't quite make it. So we, we sit there. And it was not that we were intellectuals. We just liked the stories, you know. We really dug the story stories. And there were times when they even acted them out. I remember they, uh, they had this, this troop of actors came there one time. And like the Paper Bag Players and all, and troop of actors. And they, that one whole month, every Saturday, from from 2:00 till 3:00 or 3:30 or 4:00 or something like that, they would, they would lower the lights in the library there in the kids' section. They had a big kids' section. And they would, they would actually perform all of these stories. And it was fantastic. I really dug it.

Now that I look back on it, I really liked it. I remember there was a guy playing, for example. It was, I remember seeing, uh, uh, they did, they did one of the Oz stories. Now, most of the people don't know the other Oz stories. Most of, most people go through, they went backwards into the Oz world. They, they started out by seeing the movie Judy Garland. And then they read the book from which that movie was made, which happened to be Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz, which there was only one book. There were some better Oz stories by far than that one. Did you know that? Oh, very, very little known. And they were tremendous. And there was one, for example, that dealt with, uh, Dorothy was in all of them, by the way. Uh, Ozma of Oz. Do you know who Ozma was? Well, you mean, you don't know who Ozma was or is in literature? Sure. Uh, the Scarecrow. That you don't know what happened in the later life of all these people and the earlier life too, which was really interesting. So, uh, this one particular one that I remember them doing was the, was the, uh, Pumpkinhead of Oz. Did you ever hear of him? Well, you've heard of the, you've heard of the, uh, Tin Woodman, and certainly the Lion, the Cowardly Lion. You also heard of the Scarecrow. Well, now, all three of those creatures were bound on a quest. What was their quest? Each one, uh, what was the Tin Woodman after? That's right. He was looking for a heart. Now, what had happened to him? He'd been a human person, you know. And the Tin Woodman was a Woodman. And unfortunately, you know, what, what it's like when you're dealing with a double-edged ax. He would keep cutting himself. And they, as he would, he'd chop it away there. So one day they came and they, they, uh, they gave him a tin leg. And then a couple of years later, he cut his other leg badly. And they gave him another tin leg. And this kept up until finally he was made entirely out of tin. He was still a Woodman, however. He, uh, the one thing he lacked, though, obviously, was a heart. So he needed a heart. But he, outside of that, he was great. Now, when Dorothy discovered the Tin Woodman, in what condition was he? That's correct. He could not move because he'd been out there working in the forest one day. And he got caught in the rain. And he was, he was, uh, rusty. And there he was, forever out there, waiting for somebody to come along with a can of oil and release him. At which point Dorothy was able to pull this off. Now, the Scarecrow, on the other hand, what was he looking for? The Scarecrow. That is correct. He was looking for a, he was looking for brains. He wanted a set of brains. He was very unhappy because here he was, he was a scarecrow. And his head was stuffed with what? Straw, right? And he wanted brains. Now, on the other hand, the, uh, Cowardly Lion was looking for what? Well, it's obvious. He was cowardly. He wanted courage. He needed courage. And, uh, so all three of them proceeded on a trip, uh, accompanied by Dorothy, who was just sort of along. And they, they, they headed towards where? No, they were in Oz. They were in Oz at this time. Where did they go? Now, come on. They went to this place, uh, and, and it was a very important track, a track. It was, it was a great quest, you know. That almost all the world's great literature is based on a search or a, or a quest. Now, you maybe you've never thought of this, but almost all the great world's literature, The Odyssey, Captain Ahab, almost all of The Red Badge of Courage was, was really the Cowardly Lion. He was looking for courage. Uh, almost all the world's great literature is based on a quest. I mean, really great literature. I'm talking about Dante's Inferno. I'm talking about the Tom Sawyer, particularly Huck Finn. Huck Finn was a classic example of a quest when he set out on a raft. So here, here you have a quest going. Now, uh, what, uh, what, what were they looking for? Where did they go? Now, the, the three of them went, Dorothy, or rather, four of them. Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Lion, and the Tin Woodman. Now, where were they going? That is correct. They were going to the Emerald City, which was at, in what point in Oz? Where was the Emerald City geographically in Oz? See, all these things are very important. I mean, if you're going to, if you're going to be a real student of this, you have to know that this, this is important part of the thing. All right, I'll tell you that the Emerald City was right in the middle of Oz. The Oz, Oz was divided into four quadrants. Oz was roughly circular. And right in the middle of it was the Emerald City. It was the capital. And everything revolved around the Emerald City. Now, what were the names of the four countries? It's not enough to simply say the Wicked Witch of the West or the Good Witch of the East. Uh, what were the names of the countries? I'll give you, I'll give you one to set you off. Maybe, hasn't one ever heard of the Munchkins? All right, that was one land. The Land of the Munchkins. Now, what were some of the other lands? And each one was a different color. Each, each country, when you got in this country, it was a whole different color. One of them was yellow. Which one was yellow? Well, you know what this was based on, see? When, uh, when Frank Baum, who was the writer of the Oz stories, was writing, kids used to study a thing called geography. Now, when you studied geography, you studied what? Maps. And as you studied maps, all the countries in a, say, if you were looking at the map of Europe, had different colors. So it's quite logical that when you're creating a, a fictitious land, you could, uh, you could actually create create a land where they really were, in fact, different colors. So here was the yellow one. Here's a blue one. Now, the Emerald City was obviously green. Now, the, the next question, but not really. Now, that is fascinating. Why was the Emerald City not really green? Aha! Now we're getting into some very definite esoterica here. So if you think this was just a casual. Now, I'd say more, more about the Emerald City and, and that whole land. Do you know that the people who really got into Oz, just like the people who get into, well, Wonderland, for example, a classic example of a land? Did you know that a lot of the great literature, there's a special subgenre of literature that is based on the creation by the writer of a, an artificial country, a whole land where he, he creates a land, he creates the people, and in some cases, even a whole set of laws, he creates a religion, the whole business. Can you name some of those? Well, how about Aroan? Samuel Butler. You ever heard of Aroan? Well, have you ever heard of, uh, say, uh, another example of a land that was created? Come on. Oz is an obvious one. What about Wonderland? It's another country. What about Tolan? There's an example of a created country where the people have their own religion, their own bad guys and good guys. And this is a very interesting kind of writing that creates a whole country like that. And, uh, you, it's a, it's a really an escape. That's a true escape literature where you, you really aren't even in your own world. And it goes beyond say, something like science fiction. It becomes something else. It's a, it's a kind of fantasy writing that is very curiously philosophical because you've created a whole. Well, all right. What are you, what, what is the most famous mythical country of all? It's been done in the movies. It's been done in a hundred different plays. A very famous country at one time. It was presided over by Ronald Coleman. Shangri-La. There's an example. Shangri-La was a, is a classic example of, of, of a, of a mythical country that was, that was created by the writer, uh, as a, as a place that, of course, all these, the interesting thing about all these various mythical countries is that they all are curiously utopias. And almost all of them, and this is what, what gives a kind of a nuttiness to it, almost all of them are dictatorships. They are all dictatorships. And they're all benevolent dictatorships, which of course has been the dream of mankind since all time. In other words, the people see, we, we're, we're psychologically, where our head is, is in a certain way. We like liberty when you see it written. But most people secretly are afraid of it because you, you have to make so many decisions of your own. And you can fail. Your decisions can cause you infinite problems. That's true liberty. And so in the, in the, in the pursuit of these various, uh, uh, countries, uh, that writers have have created, almost every one of these countries is a benevolent dictatorship. Now, now, try to figure out one that wasn't. All right, try to figure out one that was not a benevolent dictatorship. How about, uh, uh, of course, you remember, uh, Jonathan Swift's great, uh, country. What was his? Yeah, Lilliput. And, uh, that was, that was an interesting country where Gulliver himself came. And he was, he was living in Lilliput and observing the the natives. Now, in the case of the dictatorship in, in Oz, who was the dictator of Oz? Who? Yeah, the Wizard. But was he, he, in fact, a wizard? Or was he a trickster? Exactly. He was a fake. A phony. And he had, he was the first known use of electronic fakery. He had a gigantic PA system. Yeah, he had a, he had a PA system, see. And, and when the people would come to see the wizard, they never really saw the wizard. Uh, they would see this tremendous facade. Lights would light up. He did a light show for them. And he was hiding behind a screen with a microphone. And when they, when they would ask him a question, "Please, wizard," they would come creeping up on their knees. "Please, wizard, would you give us, would you give us this great benevolence? I need brains." And, uh, "Could you help me with brains?" And then immediately he would press the button. And this enormous voice would come on, "I am the Wizard of Oz!" Wow. I mean, when you hear a, you know, he must have had, uh, he must have had some really fantastic Jim Lansing speakers hid in the corner there. And he really gave him help. Well, all right. The, the Wizard of Oz was a dictator. And, uh, in the end, when he was deposed. Now, I'll ask you a really interesting thing. When, at the end of, of the, of the Wizard of Oz, he was kicked out, if you recall, he left. Uh, how did he leave Oz after they showed he was a humbug, but a lovable one? Correct. He left by balloon. They didn't, you know, like in the normal course of events, in in the real world, what happens when a dictator is deposed? Well, if he isn't, that's right. If he isn't, uh, disemboweled by the roaring crowd, he usually moves to Switzerland with a gigantic Swiss bank account and lives happily ever after eating $4 a pound chocolate. Okay. Now, uh, in the case of the wizard, the Wizard left. And he left by a, what? See, I'm asking the class here. All right, he left by a balloon. Now, I'm going to ask you the biggie question. He was succeeded by whom? Who took over then? You know, this country was not going to be anarchistic. The one thing that a dream country is, you never have protesters. It's never anarchistic. It has absolute order. Who took over the country? That is the subject of later books. Oh, there's a very, there's a lot of curious things happened in the, in the Oz stories. And, uh, this, this was taken over by another person who took it over. You're writing it down? No, it was not the Scarecrow. Now, the Scarecrow was a loyal subject. Well, out, that was only briefly. The beautiful witch sat on the throne there for a short time. But the actual ruler, the, the, the legendary hereditary ruler of Oz, came to Oz in the next story, which was even better than the one they made the movie on. And, in fact, for those of you who are curious about the chronology of Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz, do you know that that there was at one time when they made the movie, when they actually made this movie, uh, the, the great debate of the producers was whether to make that the F, that novel into a movie, which was Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz, or make the second one, which was called The Land of Oz, into a movie, because that's a much better story, actually. And, uh, and, uh, it involved also, it, uh, it involved, uh, the, the, this, well, the Tin Woodman. Now, as a kid, I remember this, this group of players came to this, this library that I was going to when I was a kid. And they, uh, this one guy played, uh, the Pumpkinhead. There was a guy called Jack. He, he had a pumpkin head, just like the, the, uh, uh, the Scarecrow was a person, actually. He was a scarecrow. And he, he looked for brain. The Pumpkinhead, you don't know about him, do you? Well, what was he searching for? He had an interesting history too. If you don't know about him, you don't know who he is, then. But I was fascinated because this was one of my favorite of all the Oz stories. Did you ever hear of Tick-Tock of Oz? T-I-K-T-O-K. Tick-Tock of Oz. Ah, you have yourself. I, I envy people who have never read all the Oz stories because, because it's a, it's a fantastic world. And if you, if you really get into this world, you have to let yourself really go. And if you get into, uh, the chronology of all the various characters, there were many, quite a few, not many, but enough of the Oz stories were written by Frank L. Baum. They're absolutely great classics. They will live forever. Uh, the Oz stories. But the, the, uh, the ramifications of, of all the various, uh, Oz histories, as you begin to read it, you begin to. And, and there was a time, by the way, in one of the Oz stories, where Dorothy is referred to by many of the characters as a legendary character that some of them believe in, others don't, because it happened in the past, this visit from this human person. It is fascinating.

All right, here's another, uh, mythical country that, uh, uh, that, uh, I'll lay on you. What now? Some mythical countries have a kind of mystical fairyland quality about them. In other words, you take Oz as that example. There are witches and good witches and bad witches. Other countries are really based on what could be called a logical country, but it never existed. It's, it's a country, a totally created country. There was a very famous series of novels that were written, uh, back around the turn of the century about a mythical kingdom that it very closely resembles Grace Kelly's world. I will give you a clue. The, the country began with G. It began with G. And it was also made into a movie. And also Ronald Coleman was one of the heroes of this. Oh, wow. You see it on old TV once in a while. It's a mythical kingdom, a, a true Middle Europa type kingdom. You know, where they, where they have, where they have people called poppers. And they have people called, uh, the Crown Prince, who's handsome, who's always fox hunting. And he keeps, and he meets a popper who looks exactly like him. And they change places because he wants to know how it feels to be, you know, you know. All right, what was the name of this kingdom? Begins with a G. Come on now. You guys are literate people. In fact, this has become a, a word in the dictionary. And often when, uh, when a country is described, they will describe it in those terms. Just like today, we use the word Wonderland. Well, Wonderland was a word that was created by Lewis Carroll. And so today, now, we've just accept that as a regular word, you know. But actually, people say it had the Wonderland overtones, right? Well, this country, they, they often describe Luxembourg. They often describe, uh, Monaco in, in terms of this country. Even the uniforms look alike, you know. The, the, the, the, the army that consists of only three people, two generals and a colonel, and one private. That comes once in a while. And he's a, a jovial guy named Otto. And that's actually the way it is in, in Monaco. What is the name of this country? Begins with a G. Was written by an American. And, and I, I'll give you one other clue. You may not know this, but his uncle, that is, I knew a guy who remembers this man, the man who wrote this book, because it was his uncle who wrote it. A legendary piece of, uh, piece of fantasy. Now, come on now. See, there you go. All right. Is there no more spots here? Good.

Well, so when you get, when you get hung on, uh, when you get hung on legendary countries like that, one of the most, most famous. All right, I'll tell you another little story about legendary countries. There's an author who died here a couple of years ago who had a great tragedy before him. He wrote 17 years creating a fantastic manuscript of a whole country that he wrote. He created this whole country, laws, religion, uh, even the kind of houses, the way the people talk, everything else. And he left the manuscript. He was on his way to New York. He left the manuscript of 17 years of work on the Penn Central train. And it was never recovered. He went back to his office and began to write. And 5 years later, he had reconstructed it again. How's that for a f? That that manuscript has never been found. What was the name of that country? Okay.

Well, now I'll give you, you haven't even given me the names of of the other people in Oz other than the Munchkins. You mean you don't know the names of of the four peoples of Oz? I'll give you a clue. One of the other ones was the Winkies. And what color were the [Laughter] Winkies? Oh, man. All right. What was Dorothy's aunt's name? What was her uncle's name? What state did she live in? You know, she's an American. That's right. She's from Johnny Carson's home state. She's from Kansas. Correct. All. And did she go back to Oz ever again after she left Oz? You recall she left Oz and went back home. Did she go back again? Aha, aha. Oh, some night I'll tell you the strange saga of Ozma of Oz. Ozma, O-Z-M-A. Ozma of Oz. You know, people live in their own way. They, they've created artificial countries. Has it occurred to you that the, that the, that the world of the celebrity to many people is a, a legendary land that is inhabited by super beings who do not, who do not live with the ordinary laws and problems of of the walking around person? Yes. So we have a desire always in our head to create a land where none of the problems that we faced in our walking around lives. That's why we go to movies. Have you, have you ever watched, uh, the endless violence on television? But have you noticed how rare it is that you actually see blood? People don't bleed on TV. Despite getting shot by a 357 Magnum, 10 feet away, you know, thing about that gun, he'd be spread over about a five-acre field. Cannon gets shot with a 306, which I saw in a recent. Then five minutes later, he's driving his Lincoln down the street. No problems. So that's magical. That's mystical. All right. I'll give you, I'll give you one, one answer to tonight. Uh, the, the legendary European Middle Europa country. Many movies were based on a concept close to this. Did you ever hear of Graustark? Graustark. Take your dictionary out and read. Look under Graustark. G-R-A-U-S-T-A-R-K. Graustark.