Transcription
After 60, there are a few things that are quietly destroying your happiness, and you probably don't even know you're doing them. In this video, I'll share seven things that you should ditch after 60 that will give you instant happiness, or at the very least, instant relief. If you can remove just one or two of these things, I can guarantee you life will be much better.
Life after 60 can get better and easier despite the physical changes that are going on. But it can only get better if you ditch the things that are draining your energy and your inner peace. I spent far too many years carrying around with me old regrets, old guilt, old fears, and a bad attitude towards some people. It took me over 10 years, most of my 50s, to get over this. I can tell you now there were a few difficult times in my 50s. That was the worst decade for me. But I finally owned up and I was accountable for these things. These were the habits, the fears, the guilt, and the people that were slowly draining my energy. But once I started letting them go, everything got a lot lighter.
In this video, I'll share with you seven things to ditch after 60 for instant happiness. Let's start at the bottom and work our way up to what's most important in life.
Number seven, toxic relationships. You have to assess everyone that is in your life, and that includes family members and close friends. Does spending time with them drain your energy? Do they respect your boundaries or do they just make you feel crap in general? By 60, time is your most precious asset. And every minute that you spend with somebody, who drains your energy, people who don't add value to you, who just take or make you feel bad is a wasted minute. It's a minute stolen from you. There is only one thing you must do. Cut them off without feeling any guilt. You do not owe them your time or your energy. I know that's not always easy if it's a close family member, like a parent, for example. But you've just got to find some way of minimizing the amount of contact you have with them whilst perhaps still fulfilling your family obligations.
Number six, expecting others to make you happy. If you need other people to make you happy, you are setting yourself up for unhappiness. Because here's the truth, happiness is an inside job. It's intrinsic, not exttrinsic. It's all in your mind. Happiness is a mindset. It is something that you can create and it certainly is not something you should be expecting from people. The happiest people are not the ones who are waiting for invitations, the social event, the party or waiting to be recognized for their achievements or perhaps living in the past, a past glory. The happiest people are not those that are waiting for others to bring joy into their life. The happiest people are the ones who are creating that joy for themselves. And how are they doing that? Well, they're getting out there and meeting new people. They're exploring new hobbies. But the most important thing is that they're engaging in activities that excite them. It's important that you don't outsource your happiness to other people. Take responsibility for it. You own it. Don't rely on others. Here's a simple little thing that you can do every day. First thing in the morning when you get up, look in the mirror and say, "I am happy." And then just enjoy what the day brings. And that includes time on your own. Some of my happiest moments are times when I'm on my own. I've talked about it in lots of my videos how I really enjoy going on long solo walks in nature. That is the time when I'm very happy and I'm not relying on other people to make that happiness. I'm making it for myself. watching nature around me, the awe of it, and just having mindful moments as I walk along in the countryside.
Number five, regret. Look, you've made mistakes. We all have. I've made far too many mistakes to even mention in these videos. But here's the thing. I have a mindset about those mistakes. They are experiments. A bit like Edison and his thousand light bulbs that didn't work until the one that did. Every single mistake I've made in life is moving the needle just that little bit closer to where I would like to be in life. What good is a mistake if you can't use it and learn from it? Because that's what mistakes are. That's all they are, experiments. We all have moments in life that we wish we could change. We can't jump in a time capsule and fly back to 1970 or 1980 or whatever the date is of the thing that is weighing heavily on us and change it. You just have to get on with life. All you can do is live now in this moment and perhaps make some plans for the future. Although I would say don't plan too far ahead. I always find that about 12 months is about my maximum. Living with regrets is like having a ball and chain permanently attached to your leg. It drags along. It weighs you down. It saps your energy. You have to forgive yourself for your past mistakes and just move forward. Focus on what's in front of you, not what's in the rear view mirror.
Number four, believing it's too late. It is never too late to begin something new, to create a new life for yourself, to make new friends, to build something wonderful. The only thing that stands in your way is what's between your ears. And that is your mindset. If you have a growth mindset, you can do anything at any age. Some people change career completely in their 50s. Some people start their first businesses in their 60s. Some people go to university in their 70s. And some people write their very first book and succeed with it in their 80s. So why not you? If they can do it, so can you. Don't have a closed mindset thinking that your best years are behind you. Here are just some of the people that wouldn't have had success if they'd have thought that way. Vera Wang, she opened her first bridal boutique when she was 50. Ray Croc, he started the McDonald's franchise when he was 52. Ariana Huffington, she launched the Huffington Post at 55. And finally, one of my old favorites, not that I go there very often. these days, Colonel Sanders. He started KFC at 65. And then there's me. I know I'm not part of that illustrious list, but I did start this YouTube channel at 63. So, think of it like this. If they can do it, what are you capable of?
Number three, thinking you have nothing to learn. I see too many people over 60 stuck in their ways. They don't embrace change. They always have a good argument for why not. I'll give you an example. AI. I mentioned it in my last video where I talked about five things that don't make any sense after 60. Number five was not embracing technology and I got dozens of people commenting giving their negative thoughts about AI. That's just an example of not being open-minded about learning new things. Those comments were symptomatic about how easy it is after 60 to think that you've got nothing to learn. Just because you're in your eighth decade or your seventh decade doesn't mean that you've got nothing to learn. There's a lot of new things out there that you've still got to experience, but not if you close your mind to them. When you feel like you've got nothing to learn and you stop growing, that's when you begin really dying and you start to fade to that inevitable conclusion, death. The happiest and sharpest minds after 60 are not people who close themselves off to new ideas. They are the ones who nurture a growth mindset, remaining curious and open and willing to open their minds to new things. They read. They engage in new conversations. They explore the world. They ask questions. And they continue to expand their minds indefinitely.
Number two, comparing yourself to other people. I'm thinking in particular here of comparing yourself to your younger self or even to younger people in general. This is a dangerous trap. Too many over 60s talk about the good old days. What good old days were there then? Are we talking about the three-day week and the power cuts of the 1970s? Are we talking about the 15% mortgage rates that people like me had to endure in the 1980s? Are we talking about the global recession of the 1990s, which I felt really keenly I nearly went bust on at least two occasions in my business because of that one? Or are we talking about the financial crisis of 2008? Thank goodness I'd sold my business by the time that one hit, but it still affected me. The good old days, right? Listen, I know what's going on. You're feeling envious of younger generations cuz you're not young anymore. And you're probably upset because you can't do the things that you once did. 100 kg bench press. Yeah, I don't think I was ever able to do that and I'm certainly can't do it now. 50 kg at a push. This is a toxic mindset that only leads to frustration and sadness. The truth is you have evolved because of all that experience. Because you've lived life. You are not supposed to be who you were at 30, 40, and 50. You're supposed to be who you are now. And you've got something that your younger self didn't have. And you might not think of it this way, but it does give you a competitive advantage if you use it. And that is experience and wisdom. So use it to your advantage. Younger people do not have the experience and perspective that you do. You just have to find an outlet to share that knowledge. For me, the outlet is YouTube and these videos. For you, it could be something completely different. Maybe you want to write a book. Maybe you fancy starting a small business, a side hustle. It's personal to you. But find a way to use the wisdom and knowledge. Don't just let it drift away because you're over 60. Think of yourself as an elder, not an oldie.
Number one, physical, emotional, and mental clutter. Look around your house. How many things do you own that you haven't used for years? How much stuff sits in your wardrobe or your closet, in your garage, in your drawers, digitally perhaps on your computer, doing nothing but taking up space and collecting dust. Every single one of them is a psychological burden. Each one creates stress without you even realizing it. Start clearing them out. I did when I was 60 moving house to here and me and my wife downsized. I sold, ditched, donated, dumped 75% of my stuff, and I've still got lots of stuff that I still need to do that with. I haven't by any means reached the end yet. Although, I do plan on making sure that by the time I finally snuff it, and I hope that's in 20 or 30 years time, I'm not leaving my poor son with a great big pile of crap to have to go through. Here's a little task that I do. I just try and get rid of one thing, just one, every day. It doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't have to be big. It can be something like deleting a file or deleting an old photo. Or it can be I've got a box underneath my desk here which I throw things into. One thing every day, boom, into the box. It adds up. 365 individual items a year ditched. You should try it. It's easy. And not only is it easy, it's liberating and it makes you feel so much lighter. The same goes for emotional and mental clutter. And what I'm talking about here are the grudges and resentments that you've been holding for the last 20, 30, 40 years, the promotions that you didn't get, the business success that you didn't get, the recognition or acknowledgement you didn't get because somebody else got it. And perhaps you think they stabbed you in the back. I used to think that a lot. Wasn't my fault, was it? It was them. Holding on to old pain will serve no purpose. These unspoken words will just weigh heavy on your mind. Holding on to old pain won't change the past. How can it? But it could screw up the present. So let go of what no longer serves you. Donate what you don't need. Forgive what can't be changed. Just clear a little space in your life to allow you to breathe. I mentioned earlier that my wife and I downsized and moved house when I was 60. As part of that process, I had a little bonfire, just a little one in the barbecue. And here's what I did. I took some little bits of paper and I wrote on there the names of the people who I thought had wronged me going all the way back into my 20ies when I started carving out my career. The names that went on there were bosses, colleagues, business acquaintances, business partners, former friends. And this is what I did with each one. I threw it onto the bonfire and I said, "I forgive you." But I didn't just stop at that because I'm not perfect. I've been a person that hasn't behaved well to others also. And I did this. I looked back over my 30 or 40 years and I thought, who are the people out there that I wronged? And I wrote their names down on a bit of paper, too. And I threw them into the fire and I said, I'm sorry. And in a flash, all my frustrations and guilt were gone. I felt lighter. You should try it.
Those are my seven things to ditch after 60 for instant happiness. Seven, toxic relationships. Six, expecting others to make you happy. Five, regret. Four, believing it's too late. Three, thinking you have nothing left to learn. Two, comparing yourself to other people. And one, physical, emotional, and mental clutter. What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with my list? Is there anything you would add to the list? Please share your story. Share your experience to help others. If this video has resonated with you, you might want to watch this one next. It's the one thing you should never take for granted after 60. Thanks for watching. I'll see you next time.