Transcription
[Music] [Music] [Music] she emerged from within me like a goddess from [Music] water. She filled her lungs with new air with a sigh that meant everything: relief, rebirth, release. She took in the world around her with an understanding of its fragility and strength. She let the waters of her past run down her face. She took on a new name. She took on a new way. She became whole. She lives in me. She saved me. She is me.
[Music]
Hello gorgeous goddesses of the Fatal program. I have been loving reading your shares in the group. I feel like the most beautiful things are coming through. We have a brand new baby in the group. Someone gave birth during this program. And we also have some more difficult things. People who are going through some health things. People are going through some emotional things. The duality in this group right now is exactly what this program is all about. Because this is, this is what life ends up being. It's the best day of your life with a hard thing right in the middle of it. And it's the worst day of your life with a silver lining. It's, it's the best year of your life with the hardest moment in the middle of it. It's the worst year of your life with a miracle in the middle. Like, if we're able to hold the duality of life, it's quite spectacular what begins to happen.
So, what I really learned for myself in my journey, really anchoring into my relationship with this goddess energy, is that if I can handle the highs and lows of my life, there really is nothing that I cannot be. There's nothing I cannot do. And there's nothing I cannot have. Because all of my resistance is in trying to avoid feelings. Every single thing I give myself less of a chance of experiencing, every time I don't allow myself to live fully, it's just because I'm afraid of a feeling. So when I learn to embrace the highs and the lows, when I'm not afraid of those feelings, I drop the resistance. And for us, the thing is, resistance really stops our receiving in massive ways. And so you could block yourself from receiving love. You could block yourself from receiving visibility. You could block yourself from receiving opportunities, money. Like, when we have resistance, it's like we put a wall up. And it's a wall that keeps us safe, but also keeps the good stuff from coming in too. The bad stuff doesn't come in, but the good stuff doesn't come in either.
So, what we want is to find so many ways to, to release the resistance in our lives. To be willing to face and process our feelings as soon as they come up. And to not have a big story about what feelings mean, what it makes you look like, what other people will think about you, what you're trying to avoid. Like, I don't want people to know that I'm sad because I don't want people to talk to me about my sadness. And then I have to think about my sadness in moments when I'm not thinking about my sadness. I want anybody to know about my sadness so I can control when it comes up. And it's just a fortress of emotions. We want to bring those walls down.
So today, we're going to have a module that talks about portal dropping. And I want to explain to you what a portal drop is. And I also want to explain to you how this came to be in my life. And how this process was created for me. Uh, it's a mix of, of stories. And so it's going to be a fun module to watch. So, so the first thing I want to share with you is that about, about right now in 2013. So what is that, 11 years ago at this point, 12 years ago. Um, I was sleeping in my car. Like, this is, this is it. This is, this is the time of the year that that it happened. January, February, March, April. So it was not, um, it, it was kind of shocking that I actually got myself to where I did. Because my biggest fear in my life was that I was afraid of making a mistake. Even though what I had was not good enough. And no matter what, how unpleasant, and how much my heart hurt in my relationship, I couldn't leave it. I tried so many times to leave, and I couldn't muster up the courage to go. Because I wondered if the pain of leaving would be worse than the pain of staying. I don't know if you've ever had anything like that in your life, at a job, with a friend, with a partner. But it's just like, I am not okay. I am not well. I am not happy. I don't believe things could get better. But when I think of what it would be like to be apart, or to be alone, that, that hurts worse somehow. So I'm stuck between this bad and worse situation. And I've got no way out.
And I'll, I'll never forget. There was this woman that I had met that became like a friend, acquaintance, who was practicing NLP sessions. And she, she asked me if I would be willing to do an NLP session with her. And I said, okay. And so she asked me about something in my life, like, what's something in your life that feels like a big obstacle? And I, I knew exactly what it was: was leaving this guy. And she said, you don't need to tell me what it is. I just want you to close your eyes. And I want you to imagine how close to you the scenario is. And so I closed my eyes. And I was like, it's everywhere. It's, it's so close. I can't see anything else. She said, okay, if you had to give it a color, what color would you give it? I said, bright red. She said, okay, what would be a color that would feel opposite to bright red? And I said, turquoise. She said, okay, turn the red to turquoise. And imagine the thing that's so close to your, your so close to you. And imagine it backing up until it gets smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller. And it's a very tiny dot far away. And I was like, okay. And she, how do you feel? And I was like, I don't know. And she said, okay, well, I'll check in with you tomorrow. Within 24 hours, I'd broken up with the guy. I don't know how much of it had to do with this. But I'm going to go and say a lot. Because I had tried to do it for so many years. And he, Pro, when I tried to break up with him, he swore to me, he's like, I finally get everything. Where there's nothing really wrong. For the first time, they were not even fighting. I haven't messed up. Like, where is this coming from? Like, finally, I feel like I'm getting it. Finally, I feel like I'm doing things right. And now you're going to break up with me? Now? Like, it just, it just doesn't, it doesn't make sense. What happened? And I just felt so solid.
But then things kind of started getting pretty bad. And my life fell apart. He fired me from my job. I ended up sleeping in the front seat of my car. It was a whole mess. So this experience I kept with me. And every time I'd get really overwhelmed by him, because I used to think about him all the time, I would just imagine that he represented red, really close to my face. I'd turn it into turquoise and move it far away from me until the, the little dot disappeared. And I did that often. And it helped me. Not as much as when she did it for me, but still, it helped me.
Now, fast forward a few months. It's neurolinguistic programming. That's what it means. And it's the only time I've ever done it. Was with that one person, that one exercise. The only thing I've ever done. And I broke up with somebody on the back end of it. Um, so I made my way through life, living, sleeping in this car. Life is really uncomfortable. Things are a mess. And one day, I try to do the little light thing. And it, it doesn't work. And I catch myself Googling how to make your ex-boyfriend cry on Google on my smartphone. And instead of finding how to make your ex-boyfriend cry, I end up finding this thing that's like, how to, or have the relationship you want by this woman called Rory Ray. And it, and I felt very ashamed of myself in that moment. Because I was like, even Google doesn't have anyone else that's Googled how to make their ex-boyfriend cry. Like, isn't this not a normal thing to wonder? No, just me? Oh my God. But I am so grateful that through search engine optimization, Rory Ray showed up on my page. Because this woman, who honestly, if you ever Google her and you look at her, you'll just love her. She's just, it just doesn't make sense that this person exists in life. She's like a caricature of a person. But she had this program. And when I read Rory, R-O-R-I-R-Y, R-A-E, Rory Ray. And, uh, I, I was just sitting there in the, there was this program that she was selling. And I thought, everything about it, I needed. Everything she said was me to the tea. Like, it was exactly me. Like, I, it was me. But I had no money. Like, my credit cards being declined everywhere. Declined at the hotel, declined at the grocery store, declined at the gas station. Like, I had no money. And I, I don't know why, but I just tried it. I put my credit card in. And it went through. And I got this program. And I listened to this program. Like, she was the voice in my car. She was the voice with me every day. Every day. And I used to listen to her everywhere. And there was this one module. I remember this one morning. I had stayed, I had made money that this one night. And I had treated myself to stay in a hotel or motel where there was breakfast included. And I'm sitting at this restaurant. And I've got my phone. It was an HTC Touch at the time, propped up against a glass of water, listening to Rory Ray, taking notes as I'm eating breakfast. And so far, everything I've listened to has been pretty PG. Until, until she starts saying, um, I want you to imagine the last time that you were having a fight with someone. Like, I want you to imagine the anger. I want you to really imagine being in this fight. I want you to take all that energy. And I want you to drop it into your vagina. And as she says this, while she's on speakerphone in the middle of a restaurant, at the exact same time, a waiter comes to me and is like, would you like some water? Would you need it? Anything? And then she repeats it again, let your vagina expand sideways, breathe through your vagina. I'm like, what? So I pick up the phone trying to make it stop. My fingers are wet. The condensation on the phone. It won't stop. She said vagina about 7 times in 30 seconds. And I have never, at this point in my life, heard a grown woman say that word. I'm 25 years old. I was as red as a beet. I was so uncomfortable. I, I couldn't even look at the waiter. And in the end, he comped my entire breakfast. And I ran out. Like, he just said, you don't need to pay anything. You can go. He could tell it was so uncomfortable. And I just, I just left. And I was like, oh my God, I didn't, I didn't feel safe to open Rory Ray's things anymore in public. I was like, what is she going to say? Like, what is happening? But I kept thinking about this whole thing, like being so angry and dropping this energy. And I was like, maybe I should try doing this. And so I tried doing it. But I had a lot of resistance. Because every time she said vagina, I felt really uncomfortable. I didn't realize at age 25, I'd never heard anyone say that. Like, I couldn't, it was a body part on my body. And I didn't even, I couldn't, I, I just felt so uncomfortable. I was like, why do you have to call it that? Like, I, I didn't like any of it. And every time she guided me through the exercise, I felt like a 13-year-old boy. I was just like, like, I couldn't, I couldn't get the woman part of it. It just felt like completely out of touch for me. But I tried doing it. And I think then I got a new resistance. And the resistance was like, how to drop anger there? That feels like, shouldn't this be, I don't know, like, no, I don't want to do that. But I practiced. And I tried. And, and I got the concept. But then my dad called me. And I got real mad at him. And I tried to do it. And I was like, I cannot do anything about my vagina when I'm on the phone with my dad. This is just not going to work. So I realized this, this whole thing was not going to work for me. But I liked the concept of having something. And I just sat there for a moment. And for some reason, the memory of the NLP session came back to my mind. Where there was the colors involved. And there was all these things. And so I created a process for myself right there that I have used since then, 12 years. And here's what it is.
So what I realized is that the color that I'm seeing represents an emotion. So it's going to be really hard for me to drop anger back into my body. It just feels like I, I can't. So I realized I wanted to just take it out of my body. I wanted to, I wanted to see the color, whatever it was. And I wanted to move it out of my body. But I realized that every time I did that, I then felt really tired. So let's say I had tons of anger. And I turned the red into turquoise. And I moved the energy out of my body. And I watched it disappear. I needed a nap. I felt really tired. It was like, as if I'd moved the energy out of me, not just the anger, but the whole energy. So I wondered, how can I keep the energy? How could I possibly not be angry and have all this energy and then give it away? Because another thing I had learned throughout my processes is that energy cannot be, uh, lost. You know, you can't lose energy. You can move it, but it can't just disappear here. And so I thought to myself, what if I changed what the energy means to me?
So what I started doing is, I would first imagine the experience of a color, whatever it was that I felt. So if I ever felt anger, it was like a dark red or a dark purple or black. If I ever felt sad, it was usually like a bluish or light purple color. Like I could kind of tell what my colors were. When I was stressed or, like anxious, it was like an orangey red color. And so I kind of noticed that my, my emotions had colors to me. If I really focused on them, I could be, I could be at peace with saying anger is red or orange. Or, you know, sadness is blue. I could get, I could, I could get behind that. And so what I imagined is that the, the anger in my body. And I was seeing all the feelings in my body have color. So I realized when I was upset, I felt it in different places. So I felt anger in my throat, in my chest, and at the back of my neck, at the top of my head, in the palms of my hands. I started paying attention to where in my body I felt the anger. And so I would imagine when I was angry, I could see the color. And I would tap into my body from the tip of my toes all the way up my body where the anger was. So it's like, it's in the ball of my foot. It's in my calf muscles. It's behind my knees. It's in my thigh muscles. It's in my lower back. It's in my armpits. It's in my chest. It's, I'd feel it. I'd see it. And then I would just imagine this bright red color everywhere there was anger. I saw this bright red color. And then I asked the bright red color to exit my body and just go into this white ball of light in front of me and melt into this white ball of light. Because white is all colors. So if you put red into all colors, it just becomes white. So I just asked the red to leave my body. And it felt easier to ask the red to leave my body than to ask the anger to leave my body. And so I just imagined all the red leaving my body and moving into this big ball of white light in front of me. And I did this until I saw no more red in my body. And when I was ready, I imagined the light go right back in my body. And I dropped it down into my womb. Like I dropped it. You know, like if you tense your muscles, your pelvic muscles, I would drop it right there. Boom. And I felt this weight. And all the energy from my body would feel quiet. My mind would feel quiet. And I didn't lose the energy. It was in my body.
So I'm going to have, I'm going to do this exercise with you. And I, I've called it a portal drop. Because I, I see it like our womb is our portal to the divine. So we drop it in our portal. Okay? So I want you to imagine any emotion you want to play with. Whatever feeling you might have. It could be anguish about work or anxiety. It could be a frustration you're going through about something. It could be a sadness you're going through. And I want you to close your eyes. Alpha F team, if we want to put the 741 music on, this might be helpful. And I want you to really feel in your body where you feel the emotion that you're currently feeling. So where does this emotion reside in your body? Find it. It's everywhere. You could feel it in your hair, in your eyebrows. Like, just notice everywhere where you feel this emotion. And have it turn into the color that represents that emotion. Scan your whole body one more time. Check if there's anything else. Under your feet, your toes, top of your feet, the balls of your feet, your, your ankles, your, your calves, your legs, your, your knees, your muscles, your legs, your bum, your back, your belly, your, your sternum, your breasts, your chest, your throat, your arms, your armpits, your, your elbows, your wrists, your fingertips, all the way into your face, your nose, your mouth, your eyes, your hair, your eyebrows. Like, scan everywhere. And when you're ready, I want you to watch the color that you've chosen completely exit your body and join this beautiful ball of white light in front of your body. Watch it just slowly move out of your body and be attracted to this beautiful ball of white light in front of you. Scan your body to make sure there's nothing left. If there's anything left, just watch it go right into this ball of light. And when you're ready, I want you to let this ball of light in, right through your chest. And let it slowly fall all the way down your body, all the way into your womb. Tense your muscles, your pelvic muscles. You'll feel right where the ball landed. And take a deep breath. I want you to open your eyes and tell me how your body feels. Leaned, relaxed, grounded, calm, tickly, tingly, light, relaxed, softer, like I can take a full breath, lighter, anchored, calm, definitely softer.
So I started doing this. It finally worked. This is okay. Al, we can close the music. Thank you so much. So this became my tool in life. Because the thing is, I can do this now. I've, I've practiced this so much times in my life. I can portal drop like that. I, if I'm nervous before a live stream, I drop it. It takes two seconds. Someone triggers me or says something really mean or rude. And I feel my energy go up. I immediately imagine the light going into the ball in front of me. I bring it back. I drop it in. It's gone. Like this now. The only thing that sometimes happens for people is the resistance to put it back in the body. But you've got to remember, you've got to see the energy of the glowing white light. The white light is the pure light. There's no red left. It's all white. That's why you put it back in. Because it's clear light. If you ever processed something that was so big that you didn't want to put it back in, you don't have to. The worst thing that'll happen, you'll watch all your energy go into the white light. And you'll leave it out there. You'll just feel tired. You'll probably need a nap. Because you'll have taken all the energy out of your body.
What I love about the portal drop is it gives me my energy back. When I'm about to go to sleep, I tend to not put it back in my body. I just imagine a white light hovering over my body. And I imagine it sending white light over my body. So that I don't put all this energy back into me right before I'm about to go to sleep. So if you want to be calm, leave the energy on the outside of you. And you imagine it like a blanket, just hovering, or a big ball of light protecting you. But if you put the energy back in your body, now visualizations tend to be easier. The first time we do them with our eyes closed. But eventually, when you know something so well, you don't need to close your eyes. And I want to prove it to you right now. So wherever you are in your house right now, I want you to, without closing your eyes at all, just imagine getting up and walking to your kitchen, opening the cupboard where the glasses are, grabbing a glass, turning the tap on, filling it with water, and taking a big sip out of it. Did you need to close your eyes for that? No. So there will come a time where you will know your body so well. You will know where the energy is hosted so clearly. You'll know exactly what color you're looking for. And you'll be able to have your eyes wide open, be completely aware of what's happening. And just watch and feel all the energy leave your body, going to the ball, drop it in your portal. I can do this when I'm driving. I can do this when I'm talking. I can do this all the time now.
What I explained yesterday is this is not necessarily as big of an energetic process as breathwork. Like breathwork will bring up like ancestral lineage trauma. You know, tapping is all the thoughts that you may have. Even though I'm going through all this, even though I'm feeling this, I profoundly love and accept myself. Even though it's a lot of thinking and feeling. But the portal drop has nothing to do with your thoughts. It's just the feelings that are trapped in your body. Now, what's important with this tool is that we don't use it as a bypassing tool to not feel ever our emotions. And so I, for a short while, was like, this is great. I don't need to feel sadness ever. It's not a good plan. It's not about trying to get your emotions out of your body and not feel them at all. But it is like when you've had a moment with yourself. Or let's say you wake up in the morning and you're feeling a little bit sad. And you're like, I'm going to have some self-care. I'm going to take care of myself. And I'm going to let myself process my feelings. And you let yourself process your feelings. And you're like, I'm not sad anymore. But I still just feel a residue. And I feel, I wish I could just get over it. Because I don't actually feel sad about anything anymore. It's just this lingering emotion. Portal drop is fantastic when you're speaking to someone and there, your sadness that you're feeling is their sadness. So this helps me a lot in my coaching business. Because I speak with people sometimes that share things with me that I'm like, I'm a sensitive person. I feel it immediately. But it's not my sadness. It's not my story. It's not my life. And I feel it like it's mine. And so the portal drop is so good for me then. Because there is no bypassing my emotions. These aren't my emotions. These are your emotions. So it's being able to see all the sadness that entered my body, seeing it in a beautiful red light, bring it into the ball, dropping it in my portal. And being able to be there for you while you're going through your thing. Still, sometimes it might, I might still cry. But I won't feel the pain. And it doesn't change my coaching. Because it is really important for me as a guide, as a mentor, that I'm not coaching through my lens. That I'm really open to people's life and their perspectives. And that I'm not in the way. And so the portal drop really helps for that. It's also helped me be there for my friends, my family, my siblings, when they have a different experience of life than I do. Or when I just want to go in and fix it. Portal drop. So that I don't take on people's stuff like my own stuff. It has changed the game for me. And I've realized that it gives my, it gives me back my power. But it's done something over time that's actually quite extraordinary. Is it's helped me develop an incredible relationship with my lower body. One that I never had until I started learning about all the Fatal and the goddess things. I never would have thought about my womb. I never would have thought about the power, the portal, the, the power it is to be a woman. Like to, to flex my, my pelvic muscles. And to actually feel grounded in my body. Like I'd never done that. And I feel like a lot of us don't learn the power of our own bodies. And how actually quite spectacular it is to be a woman. It really is the wildest thing. And so it's reconnected me to my whole power. When I say women are magic on legs, what I really mean is like, you're a womb walking. You are magic on legs. You are the universe on legs. You're God on legs. Like you are able to bring life into this world. And it doesn't matter whether you've ever had children or not. And it doesn't matter if there's ever been a diagnosis that means that you can't have them yourself. You still have all the mechanics of it. And it still is that you were born a woman. You were born with this gift, this portal, this beautiful energetic vessel. It's the most incredible thing. And so what made me change my perception of my body was that it's not just about what it looks like. It's about what it is. I'm walking around with this body that helps me see, that helps me smell, taste, touch, like, listen. I can, I have all of these feelings. I have all of all of this magic happening inside of my body. And I've got this gorgeous spirit that's decided to come here for a life experience. And this body gives it all of these experiences. I have a heart that loves and feels. I feel joy. I feel happiness. I feel excitement. I feel pride. I feel gratitude. I feel, I feel pleasure. I feel sadness. I feel grief. I feel pain. I feel, I feel all these incredible things that as just a spirit, you wouldn't feel. Like, it's the human being that really is alive within that gets to experience and feel everything there is to feel. And it made me realize the power of just owning myself as a powerful woman. Not just as someone who doesn't really know my body. Not just as someone that other people want to see my body, touch my body. My body for me, what's my relationship with it? And because of certain things that happened to me in my life, in my past, I cut off my relationship with my body. I thought any relationship with it will remind me of what happened to it. So I don't want to, I don't want one. I don't want a relationship with it. I just want to forget that it matters to me at all. Actually, I'd rather just have it. It's just me. But it wasn't the same relationship that way. I didn't, there was no connection. I feel like a lot of times women come, they want to feel confident. They want to feel confident. They're not even connected to the greatest thing they've got. You don't have to look a certain way to be confident. You've just got to feel like you own your body. It's yours. Doesn't matter who tries to steal it. It's still yours. And I had this incredible experience. After the more I started really connecting to my lower body, and the more I really used this portal drop in my life, and started being grateful for my womb, and grateful for my portal, and grateful for my body, and how it transmutes energy, and grateful that I could understand, like, the energy and feel it and see it and move it out of my body. Like, I, all of a sudden, I started realizing there was so much more in my body than how I'd been using it.
I, I have this experience. And I want to share it with you now. This is triggering. What I'm going to say. And so I really want, if it's possible, to like, really hold space. This is such a, a powerful conversation for anyone who's been through what I'm going to talk about. And if you haven't been through what I'm about to talk about, then if you can just send beautiful light into this conversation so that anyone that needs healing from it receives it. We're just like going to hold it together as if we're all sitting in a circle. Okay? When there's any kind of abuse, for, for a woman, a lot of the times, it causes all kinds of different things. There's a feeling like something was taken. Like the best part of you was taken. Like maybe you're ruined. Like maybe you'll never be the same again. Like maybe, maybe you just aren't ever supposed to go back to have a relationship with yourself. Because it would bring everything back. Like you should disconnect yourself entirely. Or you're spend the rest of your life trying to reconnect to yourself. But it often feels like someone took something. And I know that that was my experience. Like someone took something that I could never get back. And every time anyone ever talked about intimacy, or body, or anytime anybody talked about anything, I, I realize I just rejected it. I had resistance to anything that had to do with sexuality, intimacy, pleasure. I just, because anything that would make me think about what happened to me felt like resistance. So I just didn't want to think about it. To the point where I was 25 years old before I recognized the first time I heard a person say the word vagina. And it made me feel like I was a 10-year-old hearing it. Like complete resistance to anything that had to do with with my body. And so I got this message. And it changed everything for me. And this is after I had done a lot of bodywork. And so this may not land for you today. But my hope for you is that if anything like this has happened for you, as you practice reconnecting with your lower body, one day you'll bring this thought back into your mind. And it'll land. It could land today. You could just be like, oh my gosh, everything I've always needed to hear. Or it could be like, I'm going to meditate on this. And it could be that it comes through for you when you most need it. But here's, here's what came through for me. The thing that we are is not our body. The thing that we are is the magic inside the womb. What we have inside is a direct portal to the divine. What we have inside is literally a gateway to life. And that is the sacred space inside of us. That is the most sacred. It's not the superficial body parts. That's not, that's not actually what we have. And the beauty that we have inside of us, we don't even connect with the sometimes forever. Like I've had women in their 80s take this program, 70s take this program, be like, I've never thought of my body this way. But we don't connect with our body. Like we have the power of the goddess in our womb. We don't walk around thinking, I have a portal to life in my body. We don't, we don't think of that kind of power. But the thing is, there is a, a feeling about a woman, an attraction about a woman. And there is either, either an extraordinary respect for the human body, or there is a feeling of wanting to take it. And there are people on this planet that don't think they could ever be given this power. So they steal it. They try to steal it. But they can't take it if you don't give it to them. You may have been making love your entire life. And you may have never given access to your portal to anyone yet. You may have been married for years. And you've never given anyone access to your portal yet. You can't give something unless you know you're giving it. And that's the, that's the thing that men that try to take things, or women who try to take things, don't understand. You can't take the thing you're chasing. You'll feel emptier after you've done what you've done than you did before you tried. Because the thing you were trying to get, you were not given. They didn't take anything. Because they couldn't take it unless you willingly gave it. What women give during intimacy, that opening of themselves and of that magic, is the most extraordinary connection to the divine that anyone can ever have. When you open your magic up to a partner, and you let them touch the divine through you, and you actually are feeling it while they are feeling it, you give them something. And you give yourself something that is impossible to take. Because you have to be opening it up willingly for someone to experience it. So no matter what has happened to your physical body, no one has ever taken it. The magic, the essence, the actual thing that you're made of, the magic on legs thing inside of you, no one can take that. You give access when you feel it. And it is the greatest experience of your life. And I know that for most of the women in this program, you have yet to even experience this in your own life. To have intimacy with someone where you let them access the divine means that you access the divine while you're making love. And so many of us are not taught about sexuality, or intimacy, or spirituality at all. And there's just no way we even know we have this inside of us. And so the piece I got in that moment was that no one ever took anything. Because the best part of me, I hadn't even discovered yet. And as I reconnected with my body, I actually found something inside of me that is so powerful. And it's not like every time I make love, I open it. It's not, it doesn't always feel like I can open it. But when I do, I get feedback about it. When I open this part of me, there is something that happens that is unforgettable for me and for Kevin. And so what I want to invite you to to make peace with here today is if anyone has ever tried to take the most beautiful part about you, and you have imagined at any point up until today that they had succeeded, I want you to make peace with the body that they may have hurt. But I want you to take your power back with the knowing that the thing they tried to get, they could not take. Because it would have needed your full consent. It would have needed your openness. It would have needed your pleasure. It would have needed your full participation. And they did not get it. It doesn't take away that they shouldn't have done what they did. It, it gives you your power back. And I've been living a very different life ever since.
I want you to reconnect with your body in a different way. This is not just a meat suit that you've got that gets poked and prodded. This is actually the vessel for divinity inside of you. Like you are actually so magical. And when you start to live by this, everything will change. It's not just confidence. It's body wisdom. It's knowing that every time you put one foot on the floor, you're actually a moving, walking embodiment of God's most beautiful creation on Earth. You're the universe on legs. You're magic on legs. You're a portal to the divine. That's who you actually are. And you can transmute anything through that portal. Any single thing that you would like to pass through white light, to move your energy through it, trust, peace, faith. If you, you want to put your hands on your lower belly whenever you're praying, thank you or please. If you can actually trust in your connection to the divine, you're going to feel differently about yourself. Confidence doesn't come from the mind. It comes from a full embodiment of the understanding of who we are. It's not what we look like. It's what we are. And what we are is extraordinary.
Some of you right now in this program are pregnant. So for the women in this program that are pregnant right now, we've known you couldn't grow a baby in your womb. But like you have right now, the universe in your body. Your magic on legs. Your life on legs. You're incubating life as you do regular things. You wake up and you brush your hair and you brush your teeth and life is growing. You get in the car and you drive to work and right there in your womb, life is growing. That is extraordinary. And we forget that we were given this power. And it can create life. And it can create cleanliness. And it can create peace. And it can create power. And it can create forgiveness. And it can create strength. And it can create miracles. Your body is a portal. And if you start to treat yourself that way, you will watch the entire world change in response to you. You are so powerful. But you've not practiced using your power yet.
So your, your homework for this module is very simple. I want you to reconnect with your lower body. I want you to actually practice from time to time squeezing your pelvic muscles. And realize how long it's been since you've done that. Since you've even realized that there's a life out there. There's a life in there that has nothing to do with just sex and intimacy. It's much bigger than that. There's so much life in your body. You're so alive. And there's a space that's literally there just waiting for you to give birth to something. Whether it's a fantastic idea, whether it's to a greater emotional state, whether it's to a child, whether it's to an orgasm. Stuff gets built up inside of you. And magic comes out. No matter what it is that you put there. And if you're like me, and this is a weird conversation for you, and you're like, gosh, I'm realizing I'm not comfortable talking about my body. I'm not comfortable talking about, you know, even talking about squeezing my pelvic muscles in a group. Is like, is everybody doing it now? Like, is this weird? Like, if it's weird, all the more reason to spend just a little more time to reconnect with your body. To actually understand the power that you have. And to just walk around a little differently, thinking, gosh, if this is really true that I am magic on legs, then why have I been looking for confidence in my mind? Like, I've got, I've got God above my legs. How could I possibly worry where I'm going? It's a trust. It's a surrender. And it's an inner power. Now, this is going to be your journey. So it's not like you might all of a sudden just be like, yay, amazing. I, I want to give my, I, I want to go and I want to, I want to have fun. Rory Ray, you know, some of you may have some breakthroughs to have. Everyone will have a very different journey with this breakthrough. But I would invite you, if you are in a partnership, if you're in a close, you know, very beautiful partnership where you can surrender and you feel like you'd like to invite your partner into something far bigger than you ever have before, reconnecting with your magic for a few days, you'll eventually feel it that you're ready to, to be intimate in a different way. And I think it's going to blow your mind when you give them permission while it's happening to actually decide you're opening the magic for you and for them to actually surrender into that. There's something quite amazing about that. If it's just for yourself, using your own magic to transmute energy, to drop things into your portal, and to actually feel like you've got, you've got the, the magical system that cleans the energy. Like you never need to hold on to anything that doesn't feel right or yours ever again. You've got the cleansing system. You've, you got the purifying system. You've got it all. Like, it's all there, right there. And you take it everywhere with you. You can't even leave the house without it. You're, you're fully equipped to do everything you've ever wanted. To hold your power, to hold your confidence, to hold yourself together, to have, and, and if anything feels wobbly, to move the power through you. And so what I love about this work is that you're taught tapping with your very fingertips. And a woman's fingertips can do extraordinary things. You're taught breathwork with your very lungs, like your breathing to bring yourself back. And then your, your womb, your body, to transmute the energy. We have everything we need inside of us. We are the one. You were given everything you needed when you came here to do everything you were meant to be. Just have to learn how to use it.
So I want to give you some time on this one. We'll end a little early. That you can actually take time to think. I want you to journal about this for yourself. What comes up for you? What would you like this to mean? What would you like to do with this moving forward? How would you like to utilize this? What, how could you, how could you be more connected to yourself in the future? What hope does this bring up for you? What desires does this bring up for you? And really try to focus on the future more than the past in your writing. Just because you've just found out. And it is easy to be like going backwards and trying to figure stuff out from the past. You'll go back in time, go forward in time. What would I love to be able to feel about myself? What can I imagine this might mean? What would I like to live with this? What would I like to bring into my life? What does this make me feel as possible? Cast into the future. Whatever comes through. And if it feels in your body like you're nervous, or it feels uncomfortable, try practicing. What does uncomfortable look like in your body? What color is that? And can you move that out? And can you transmute it into a white light? And can you move it into your portal? Let me just see here. Can this cleansing system be broken or blocked? No. The only thing there can be is resistance in your mind to doing it. But if you practice and you soften, it will work. I've been doing this work for 12 years. I have taken thousands and thousands and thousands of people through this work. And there is more magic on legs on this planet now than there was 12 years ago. I can tell you that. So I want you to enjoy giving yourself the power to heal you, to move you, to cleanse you. You've got the power. Yeah, got power. Feel it. Enjoy it. Take it back. Re, like, reclamation of self, fully. And if there's anything you want to share in the group about how you're feeling, even if it's just a small blurb, I'll be looking forward to reading about your experiences. I am sending you so much love, so much power, so much magic. And I look forward to our next session.
[Music] [Music] [Music] she emerged from within me like a goddess from [Music] water. She filled her lungs with new air with a sigh that meant everything: relief, rebirth, release. She took in the world around her with an understanding of its fragility and its strength. She let the waters of her past run down her face. She took on a new name. She took on a new way. She became whole. She lives in me. She saved me. She is me. [Music] [Music]