Transcription
Guys, welcome to the program. My name is Joker, with a face for radio and a voice for print from the New York Post.
Men need to lower their standards on dating apps, news study shows. Now, many of you are saying, "Wait, what? They've gone mad to believe this. Obviously, the world has gone crazy." But here's the truth of it. They're actually right. I didn't believe it at first. I read this and I said, "This makes no sense. How can you tell men they must open up their selectivity even more to get a date on this?" And I read through this. It didn't make much sense to me. The story did, but the idea behind it didn't. And so I ran it through AI, and AI broke it all down and kind of explained it in an interesting way. And ironically, they're right.
Now, don't, don't string me up from the closest yard arm, but technically, this post from the New York Post is correct. Men do need to lower their standards even lower if you want to actually match with somebody. Uh, from the New York Post, they say there's been a long history that on dating apps, 80% of women are pursuing the top 20% of men, which is correct. But the new research reveals that actually, fellows who are aiming too high when swiping for love. That's right. You're being too selective, men.
International researchers analyzed the behaviors of almost 3,000 straight dudes on a Czech dating app, and their findings published earlier this week in the PLOS journal. Now, you might be saying, "Ah, that's just, that's from the Czech Republic or Czech or whatever they call it now. Uh, but that's not for the West." Actually, it is, and that's part of what I asked AI to do is to analyze this against all other data that has come out from other studies similarly in the Western countries, Europe, Australia, etc. And they said, "N-no, actually, this aligns with all those studies."
And I know you're saying, "But dude, we're already just to find a hookup. We're already borderline on women I don't want to be with just 'cause I'm trying to get laid or I'm trying to go out on a date or something. You're telling me I have to dip even lower?" And the answer to that is, yep, you do. That's how crazy the women have skewed the dating market.
They say men tend to express interest in women who are more desirable than themselves, while women typically pursue men of more similar desirability. The team uncovered. To classify how desirable each user was, researchers counted the number of swipes they received from other people on the app. There were more male users, meaning that female users generally ranked more highly in this hierarchy. So, because there are more men on the app just using it, in some cases five to 20 times more men on the apps, even unattractive women are getting more swipes than the unattractive men. Meaning, the men have to scale their preferences down even lower if you're hoping to get a match. It's a women's market on the dating apps because there are so few women out there, they're just getting all the choices. Thus, to avoid feeling frustrated and rejected when using the dating app, the research suggests that men should be realistic about their own desirability and not attempt to date out of their league.
"Really?"
The successful matching outcomes tend to align more closely with women's preferences than with men's. This likely reflects women's stronger position in the online dating market, as men outnumber the women and are often expected to make the first move based on the way women swipe. Meaning they're very selective about their swipes, and they select so very few men that men, if you want to match with them, you're going to have to lower your standards. And they keep saying that men are selecting women that are above their standards. Yes, they are. In other words, he, because there's so many men competing for even fives out there, five men need to aim for four, three, and two women. That's basically what it's saying.
I asked Grok, I said, "The story on this link, and I shared the link, references a study in Czech. Are there any other similar studies with the same or other results in the West, meaning Western Europe, the US, or Australia?" And it says, "Yes." And I said, "Explain and show the results." They took 240,000 interactions on a major Czech dating app. Women were significantly more selective, liking only about 5% of male profiles, while men liked around 50% of profiles. Meaning the average man likes the average woman, and the average woman likes only about 5% of the profiles, the top 5%. They say the asymmetry leads to men receiving far fewer matches, suggesting that men might need to lower their standards or be less selective to increase success rates. Which means a seven man might have to select a four woman, a five man might select a two, an eight guy might have to select a six. It's reaffirming what we've said that women have become so selective that if you're a man looking for someone that is equal to your looks, you're out of luck. That you're going to have to lower your standards even further. And on top of that, it further reinforces our correct assumption that 80% of women are chasing against 20% of men, leaving the other 80% of men with no place to go.
So, what those guys are doing is a five is swiping yes on a 10, a nine, an eight, a seven, a six, a five. And they're saying, "You're wasting your time." That's basically what they're saying. You're wasting your time. Lower your standards to women that are probably not as attractive as you are, and you might have a shot. I went down. They go down here through various studies. They talk about the study in the United States where OkCupid did it. They actually gave us our 80/20 expression. Women rated 80% of men as below average in attractiveness and messaged only the top 20%. Men were less picky, rating women on a more even bell curve and messaging broadly. And it says it mirrors the Czech study selectivity gap. It's called a 2018 Tinder study published in Science Advances, led by researchers from Queen Mary University of London and others. But US heavy data from over 200,000 Tinder users, the findings: women liked only 10 to 15% of profiles, while men liked 60 to 70%. Men got likes back 6% of the time, women 10%. The study modeled this as a feedback loop where men's broad swiping dilutes their appeal, suggesting men could benefit from being more selective.
So what they're saying is, if, if you want to not waste as much time, be more selective. But if you actually want to match somebody, you have to be less selective overall. Uh, Pew Research Center, same uh results in 2022, 2023 study on Hinge, same results. Women likes, women sent likes to 15% of profiles, men to 45%. Uh, same thing. West, uh, studies in Western Europe, same thing. Studies in Australia, same thing.
I, so I re-read the headline states, "Men need to lower their standards." What was meant by this, considering women are far more selective? It says right here in the summary, "The interpretation aligns with broader patterns in online dating research where evolutionary and market-driven factors like abundance of options for women amplify these imbalances. The study's implication is practical. By lowering their aspirational targets, men can better navigate the selectivity gap and achieve more mutual connections." If the article or study is misinterpreted in media discussions, it's often oversimplified. But the core message is about strategic realism rather than blanket concessions. In other words, you men need to lower your standards even further and stop wasting your time swiping on all women that you find attractive. But you still must lower your standards if you want to match because the women are getting too many likes and then their their selectivity gets all screwed up. So, if so many men stopped selecting them and these women didn't get 10,000 likes, but maybe a hundred likes that were more realistic, those guys might have a better shot. The problem is you're trying to get women to realign with reality, and that's definitely not going to happen.
So, I, I re-read. "Wouldn't all the study data you previously supplied mean it's actually women that need to lower their standards as they're the selective ones only swiping on 5% while men swipe 50% of the time?" It says, "Men's aspirational behavior reduces success." The Czech study, the US study, the rest of these found men often swipe on women who rank higher in desirability. And here's what it said that I think is relevant: "Women's selectivity shapes the market. Women's low swipe rate, 5 to 15% across studies, reflect a stronger position due to receiving more attention. For instance, Tinder data shows women get 10% match rates versus men's 6%, and Pew notes 54% of women feel overwhelmed by messages versus 64% of men feeling ignored." Because women have so many options, their selectivity effectively dictates who matches. The Czech study emphasizes that successful matching outcomes tend to align more closely with a woman's preferences, as their rejections enforce similar desirability pairing. Men swiping broadly doesn't overcome this. It often dilutes their appeal, and the algorithms may penalize indiscriminate swiping.
They say, "Could women be advised to lower their standards instead?" Your point that women's high selectivity, 5 to 15% swipe rates, could be seen as the bottleneck has merit and is debated in academic and popular discussions. Here's why advertising women to lower standards might seem logical but isn't the focus. Women's selectivity is reinforced by market dynamics. Women receive far more likes and messages, an example 20, 20 times more in the 2021 UK study, allowing them to be choosy without reducing matching opportunities. Lowering their standards, in other words, swiping on more men might increase matches for the men, but might also lead to unwanted interactions. The Australian eHarmony study showed women responded to 15% of messages, often prioritizing quality. Lowering standards might not align with their goals because they'd get more matches, and they don't need more matches because all the thirsty men are trying to get with them anyway. They say women already match at higher rates. Studies like Tyson in 2016 and the 2024 Dutch Bumble study show women's match rates are three to 10 times higher than men's due to their selective swiping. They don't face the same pressure to adjust as their strategy yields results. Men, however, face a numbers game.
They say evolutionary and societal factors. The Czech study and others cite evolutionary psychology. Women's selectivity reflects preferences for partners with status, resources, or compatibility. Now, in my mind, compatibility probably is attractiveness if, because most of these apps are based on looks. They say while men prioritize broader availability, advising women to swipe more might conflict with these instincts, especially since the apps amplify their choice. They said to the counterargument, "Women lowering standards could balance things." If women swiped right more, closer to men's 50%, it could reduce the imbalance, giving men more matches and lessening the need to aim high. The 2018 Tinder study suggested men's broad swiping is a response to low female response rates, creating a feedback loop. If women were less selective, this loop might break. However, no major study advises this directly, as women's selectivity aligns with their incentives, quality over quantity. The 2023 Hinge study notes women's pickiness increases with education, suggesting deliberate choice, not a flaw to fix.
Final take. The data show women's selectiveness, 5 to 15% of swipes, creates a bottleneck, but advising men to adjust is more actionable because they initiate more and face higher rejection. Women could theoretically lower their standards and increase matches, but their current strategy works for their goals and market dynamics, which is more male attention, reduces their need to change. The Czech study's headline might feel one-sided, but it's addressing men's strategic misstep and a system where women's preferences hold more sway.
So, it really boils down to this. There are thirsty men, and there are so many men on these dating apps, anywhere between five and 20 times more men than women. Even average women or even unattractive women are overwhelmed with choices. And so when overwhelmed with choices, even the very lowest bottom rung of women are choosing only the top men that they have a choice of. So these women are swiping on all the hot guys, and then they're swiping on all the average guys. And these very unattractive women are still getting some action in the average guy camp. So it leaves the average guy swiping on these apps to swipe on just basically anybody. They'd say, "I'll at least go out on a date with her, and I'll sleep with her, and anybody above that." And those men are wasting their time. When in reality, these women have so many choices. And these women are able to be as picky as they are because it is so many men overwhelming them with choices that women have just become too picky.
So, the advice really boils down to a couple things. Men need to swipe way less on women out of their league, which is true. You know, you're not going to have a shot, but you're wasting your time if you're doing that. And next, if you really actually want to be a match, you need to be the best match a woman of lower quality can get. Meaning that if you're a six and you want to have a realistic chance at matching, you probably need to be swiping on fives, fours, and threes because those women have so many choices. In reality, this is just telling you, get off the dating apps. You're wasting your time. You're wasting your effort. And if you do get a match, it's likely from somebody you don't want to be with. Don't waste your time. Don't lower your standards. Don't give these women their inflated egos and the choices that they think they have.
Guys, if you like my work, don't forget to follow me over at betterbachelor.locals.com. We do lots of fun events over there, lots of streams that don't make it over to YouTube, many that don't make it over to Rumble. We do that for an exclusive audience only because it's about behind a paywall. So, we can watch MMA together. We can watch football. We can watch movies and other things that the web in general doesn't like us to do. So, come on over, join a great group of like-minded guys over there. I think you'll appreciate it. And we'll see you in the next one.
[Music]