Transcription
[Music] The following content is a fan-created parody. I do not possess any rights to the anime or manga of Jiujutsu Kaizen. Kindly show your support by accessing the official release.
What's happening, y'all? It's Rab. Just want to say I appreciate y'all as always, and it's crazy how far Hood JJK has come. Now that Zero's done, I'm gonna make sure I drop the next season one episode soon. I got y'all.
Now, if you pulling up to DreamCon this year, do not miss our Hood Dragon Ball Z premiere. The whole Hood Dub crew is going to be there, and we're ready to meet y'all. Outside of that, thanks again and enjoy Hood JJK Zero.
Daddy, you the— You think you a pimp or something? [ __ ] Ain't nobody calling you that. [ __ ] Can you get out my face before you get hurt, man? Ain't nobody scared of you and your imaginary baby mama. [ __ ] a ghost. [ __ ] She just be scared of me.
So y'all put a bag on his head because of a dispute he had with his baby mama? Shouldn't the courts handle that? [ __ ] Oh, so his first love died, became a curse, and now he's just stuck with her for eternity? Yeah, that still sound like some [ __ ] the court should handle. But don't worry, I got them. I'mma keep them out of trouble.
I'd say y'all been patiently waiting, but that'd be a lie because y'all been getting on my damn nerves about it. So, here we go. Introducing Okatsu Yuda. It's Daddy Uda. I'm not calling you that. [ __ ] Don't be shy. They've been waiting for you. Okay, then let's do it. What the— I like this [ __ ] What is this melody? Show me some money. [ __ ] You cool? You can't just walk in like that, little boy. Duchess, do you care about your life? Oh god. But before we back you up, what was that song you was bumping? I need that on the playlist. Swiss leaves. I'd back up off him if I were y'all. His baby mama not going to like that. [ __ ] Don't touch my baby. Wait. Y'all done now? Yeah, I thought so.
As I said, this is Uda. He's a new member of Ya Squad. That also means y'all need to get familiar with his situation. So, Uda got a childhood crush that died and end up turning into his forever cursed baby mama or some [ __ ] That's not exactly what happened. Yeah, I forgot how the story go, but just don't do too much or she going to pop her [ __ ] Oh, so we're recruiting deadbeats now? Nice.
Anyway, we got to get Uda up to speed real quick and put him in the field ASAP. You mean you want to throw him in the field right now? You know he not ready? There's no better time than the present. Now make sure he don't get his ass beat. I'm putting his life in your hands. In. Stop pulling me though. Hey, hurry this [ __ ] up. There's kids in trouble. All right, then Zen baby. Show me the road. If you call me whatever that [ __ ] was one more time, a bit of baby mama going to be the least of your worries. Oh, fine. [ __ ] The [ __ ] What is that? [ __ ] fiends. Y'all bum ass curses all smell like entertainment. Back the [ __ ] up. You're just going to stand there while I do all the work? Useless ass [ __ ] man. Baby, look. Zen baby, I promise I'm going to make it up to you. I'm just getting used to everything. You know the [ __ ] Oh, hell no. This big dumb [ __ ] just ate us. See, this is just what I get. Gojo's dumbass wouldn't be funny. Now I'm stuck with the crybaby [ __ ] who freezes up under pressure. [ __ ] I'm trying my best. Man up, Utah. There's [ __ ] kids in here. Cut me some slack, Zen, baby. I swear to God if you'll call me that dumbass name one more time. I'm Simb baby. We're going to die, aren't we? No, we not doing this today. I'm Daddy [ __ ] Uda. Time to stop playing scared. Ra baby, handle this [ __ ] Damn. Your baby mama scared.
What we doing here again? We getting you strapped up, [ __ ] That first mission was sloppy as hell. So if you really trying to slide, you going to have to keep some on you. Here. Wait, what? And don't you worry, we going to make sure you really can tote that [ __ ] proud. But until then, leave your baby mama. Where the [ __ ] she at? That [ __ ] give me the heeie-jeebies. Goddamn, I just got my pole. Why go throwing me back in the field already? Swiss Leafs. Ain't no way the streets that wicked these days. We really need [ __ ] sliding like that. Lemon pepper wet. Damn. My bad, gang. Is this a dead end? Butt ice. Free. Free who? Oh, hell no. This [ __ ] got to go. [ __ ] Oh [ __ ] kills. Maybe I'm not built for all this sorcerer [ __ ] man. Do say it's like what? Two times I done slid and both times I sat back and watched the other [ __ ] put in work. I'm just background noise out here. I should just give it up. Oh, pan J. 10piece honey hot. Ooh, cheese fry. Cheese fry. Wait, you ain't nice like that, [ __ ] Stop playing. Ooh, 50 cent can soda. He won scholarships. [ __ ] Why the [ __ ] you still in the streets then? Mr. Pure combination play crab rangon. You know what? You right. Let's get active. Hey, you freaky frog. Get that [ __ ] locked up. You can make that [ __ ] in hell, [ __ ] I got that ball on me. H s your whole ass down. Hell yeah.
Okay, so like ever since I left my job, my anxiety been through the roof. I can't sleep. My hair falling out. I keep dreaming about this one shadowy figure. [ __ ] Are you trauma dumping on me right now? Why would I want to hear that? I mean, it might be relevant. I've been going through a lot and I just thought— Do you think I metaphorically removed demons or some [ __ ] Like I'm a therapist? That's not what this is. No, but like I've been lighting candles, saging the room. I even paid this one girl on TikTok $75 for our healing ritual and I still feel like someone's following me. Lady, I remove actual curses. It sound like you just need therapy or some [ __ ] It's that damn boy she was with. Ever since she left that no-good bastard, she been falling apart. Oh, wait. You can't let go of that a [ __ ] [ __ ] Yep, I see the curse on you. Hold on. [ __ ] This the kind of man you need to be looking at. Tall, clean, businessminded. Not like them little hoodlums you always running after. Oh, wow. I appreciate that, ma'am. Really? Y'all be safe now. Girl, you better go give him your number while he's still standing here, child. That man got a good job. And I bet he loves him some light-skinned girls. Love light-skinned girls, huh? Ain't no way I look like I would ever waste my time on one of these at Bino8 [ __ ] Man, I hate [ __ ] You're not even trying to hide the racist [ __ ] anymore, huh? Oh, I'm sure your Google reviews are going to be through the damn roof once people find out you're a racist. Oh, if ain't my favorite snow bunny, [ __ ] What the hell are you spraying? Deodorant. I can have the public confuse me for one of them she moisture monkeys.
Oh, yeah. I almost forgot. We sliding on Gojo [ __ ] ass today, ain't we? N Gojo, something ain't adding up. First all that wild [ __ ] with the kids, then we got special grades popping up like roaches. The [ __ ] going on? It's all connected, bro. Don't tell me it's— Yep, man. I know you [ __ ] lying now. Why the [ __ ] would I lie for his [ __ ] ass? Well, that was your man's at one point. And the key word is was, but I don't keep [ __ ] [ __ ] in my circle. So you just been sitting on this info. Wasn't going to tell nobody [ __ ] huh? [ __ ] I just told you. And it don't matter now. Hold on. Ain't no way that [ __ ] this bold. Oh [ __ ] That must be Lil Yoda. The hell is that? Really little, [ __ ] Damn. You got soft ass hands just like a [ __ ] So this is the infamous Daddy Yuda. The one that got all the streets whispering. You don't look dangerous. You look delicate. You talking all this [ __ ] like [ __ ] like [ __ ] with sandpaper skin or something. Ah, nah, you funny. Tell you what, you should roll with me and my [ __ ] We could use somebody with baby mama drama to finish out the stereotypes. Hey, do me a favor. Back up off my boy cuz I don't need your broke ass [ __ ] [ __ ] tendencies rubbing off on him. Hear your ass go. I've been going a [ __ ] decade and you still using the same tired ass jokes. Well, maybe stop being a [ __ ] [ __ ] and go get a bag. That way I can finally come up with some new material. Ho. Damn. You call yourself checking in or some [ __ ] You know you not welcome here no more. So why the [ __ ] you here? See, this is why I hate [ __ ] always trying to rush the moment. But since y'all so pressed, I'm here to declare war. Let's see how real you and your [ __ ] really are. Bring y'all [ __ ] asses to our block Friday night. Us [ __ ] [ __ ] versus the self-proclaimed real ones. Let's see who really sliding on [ __ ] So, we supposed to pull up to your block and just get lined up like some dummies? [ __ ] Do we look stupid or are you just [ __ ] slow? Pull up and find out if y'all so real. What's a little danger, right? [ __ ] Do I need to remind you? You pulled up to our [ __ ] You think we just going to let you walk off? I hate to have to pack up a bunch of new [ __ ] cuz your loud ass can't stop talking. This was a courtesy visit. Be grateful I didn't bring a body bag. See you Friday, ho.
Look, the bottom line is we all sliding. This [ __ ] a trap. And I don't give a [ __ ] And that don't make it any less of a trap. And I'm a trap [ __ ] How about that? What else you got to say? Cuz now you starting to sound [ __ ] So I'm [ __ ] for not wanting to get backed on purpose? Please make that make sense. That Uncle Ruckus acting [ __ ] just tested our gangster. And what you want to do? Just stay at the crib? Yes, [ __ ] That would literally make the most sense. Well, [ __ ] we sliding anyway. Goddamn it. This is my one-off day. We really letting them jump [ __ ] pull up on the block like that. Hell yeah. And they going to fall for it, too. Their ego's too damn big to ignore something like this. You throw out that quote unquote real [ __ ] card and they feel like they got to prove something, which is exactly what I wanted, man. It's like six of us. What the hell you mean this what you wanted? You trying to get the whole gang packed up like lunch meat? Hey [ __ ] watch your tone. I know that monkey brain of yours can't sit still cuz of that nonsensical [ __ ] ape ADHD you got, but there is more to my plan if you shut up and listen, [ __ ] My bad, boss. As I was [ __ ] saying, I played on their egos just to get them off their block. They not going to risk bringing that new [ __ ] with them to our [ __ ] cuz he's too valuable. So while they out here flexing on our block, I'mma slide to their [ __ ] Yeah, I'mma pack you the scary ass up and turn his bitter ass baby mama into a perk. And once I pop that [ __ ] who really going to stop us?
I see they left your ass behind while they slid on the ops, huh? They said I ain't built for that type of smoke yet. That I ain't proved myself or something. But it's cool with me long as I get to spend a little more alone time with you, Zen baby. Do you know why I hate when you call me Zen baby? I mean, I assumed you was playing hard to get, but go ahead, give me a hit, baby. My family is the Zenins. They come from a long line of respected crash-out sorcerers, real killers, all born with cursed energy flowing through their veins like water. But me, I popped out of the womb, trench-bodied. Can't see curses. Can't even use cursed energy. And that ain't never stopped you from putting good hands on a [ __ ] So why they make it such a big deal? Uh, it wasn't always a problem, but the last [ __ ] in the Zenon line born like me, they say he was the worst crash-out in Zenin history. Not only was he a natural-born killer, but he he was a financial burden. Blew the entire family bank account on failed parlays and penny slot plays. [ __ ] had him down bad. So bad they cut ties with any family member who showed signs of being like him, which just happens to include me. But I ain't even mad about it no more. It's just that [ __ ] Zen name that still gets me. It's a reminder of a past that I was in no control of. That's why I hate when you call me that [ __ ] Look here, when I call you Zim, baby, it ain't got [ __ ] to do with your past. It's cuz I want you to be my main [ __ ] for real. [ __ ] that family. [ __ ] that name. That [ __ ] don't mean nothing to me. Baby, I'm focused on us. You know what? When you put it that way, maybe they name a girl on me. He sure knows how to sweet talk a [ __ ] Don't fall for it, Sen. Baby. Damn.
[Music] It. The [ __ ] are you doing here? Wouldn't you like to know, little Zen [ __ ] Keep on the app and pill papa man. It's your lucky day in it. [ __ ] Back in the day, your uncle killed my [ __ ] Today you get to pay off some of his debt. Man, go get your head in the game. You've been staring up there for hellas. [ __ ] I'm making sure this [ __ ] ain't a trap cuz I don't see gay on nowhere. But I'll tell you what's really bothering me. It's a [ __ ] up there wearing a Kango and a USPA zip-up like it's 2003. So either this [ __ ] got to be 45 or somebody Jamaican stepped. Either way, I don't trust that broke ass [ __ ] Watch this blood-clotted blindfolded man over Yaso. He must think him better than everyone cuz him wear one overpriced Armani jumpsuit. Are you talking to yourself right now? Yeah. Chat about this flashy man over here. Should have never flash him money like that. Me go show him one real money, man. If you say so. Is that [ __ ] ass [ __ ] staring at me right now? Wait. Panda enumaki. There's no way in hell that snake ass [ __ ] G didn't pull up to talk his [ __ ] So I'm sending y'all back to our block to make sure [ __ ] straight. And if y'all run in the gator, hold it down till I pull up. A blood-clad ban. Look, I can't hear [ __ ] through that fake ass accent. But did you just say ban for ban? Gun to your head, little [ __ ] Spit a many fresh verse real big car real big real big everything. [ __ ] I said burst real. If you don't got a burst, then sit down, [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm a [ __ ] big hood. in that [ __ ] How the [ __ ] is this still going? In that [ __ ] broke. How the [ __ ] do you know this [ __ ] I know it cuz I got to cuz one thing I'm never going to do is lose a gun, man. I hate [ __ ] That's what I do. Take in the middle of people. Okay, get it. Know this old ass [ __ ] Now stop singing this [ __ ] Goddamn. Uncle Tom ass [ __ ] I should hear a closet. Shut this [ __ ] [ __ ] up. I'm sick of hearing this [ __ ]
[Music] Get him, gang. Miss, you good, gang? Check it. Don't y'all worry. I got y'all. Just hold on. You made this TR body, [ __ ] You [ __ ] Put her down before I choke you the [ __ ] out. Stop playing with me, Ra. I'm sorry. I can't leave. I just wipe those tears and tighten the [ __ ] up. We got business to handle. Huh? Y'all done? That little hatchet was cute. I ain't going to lie though. This was antilimactic as hell. All your [ __ ] folded quick. Guess that means I get to handle you now, crybaby [ __ ] Oh, I've been waiting for this. Hey, Gator, you got long hair just like a [ __ ] So, let's go ahead and put a hoe back in their place. Who the [ __ ] you think you blabbing them ignorant [ __ ] lips at? Shut your mouth, hoe. Daddy, you's talking now. Gun to your head. Spit a flow rider verse. time. No excite [ __ ] [ __ ] Hey, get your dumb ass in the sword, huh? Jo, bring your broke ass on. You really think you come around with me? You're a dead. What are you talking about? Latest dead like that man runs from war. Repeat that. Stand still so we can't beat your blood clot. Where you think you going? No. I'm sick of this [ __ ] You [ __ ] [ __ ] Goddamn. Big [ __ ] high step and protect your neck. To what you doing? We got to get to safety. If you ain't trying to beat the road, then beat your feet cuz the block hot right now. Goddamn roaches and another double shift. We going to make this quick. Get your piper. Get your piper. Get your piper. Ain't no speaking of working man. You really think you built for this daddy uda? You don't know what real pain is [ __ ] I watch everything I love get violated by monkeys like you. Hey little [ __ ] tighten up. The way you yapping and crying make you sound like a [ __ ] [ __ ] Wake me. Let's shut this [ __ ] up. I shut you [ __ ] Man, little [ __ ] You been for this thing. You ain't going to speak to that gorilla garbage to me like I'm a hoe. I lost everything for my cause and I still ain't f. You ain't bold. You trying to blow a block up on old fish. You know what it's like to lose your best eater. I thought so, [ __ ] But that's cool. You about to find out the hard way. Baby, give them hell. Oh, so y'all think y'all in love, huh? [ __ ] please. That ain't love, ho. Y'all just thirsty for attention. You weak, [ __ ] Just like that bougie ass blindfold. [ __ ] up and get your paper up. I ain't realize you being such a private [ __ ] But since you want to [ __ ] with real killers, you better strap up, [ __ ] Like a broke [ __ ] rocking mall chains. You ain't going to pop [ __ ] little ho. Don't worry, Ra baby. We got this. Now, let us pray the pimp's prayer. Lord, please pray for the soul of this [ __ ] and guide my pimp head and make it strong, Lord, so that he might learn a ho's play. This is exactly why I hate [ __ ] All you monkeys is so [ __ ]
[Music] unorg, man. Yeah, I swear I hate [ __ ] From the bad-built BB hippos, the Georgia peach proud hates to the ash ancestors with the Hanks on their neck, the vanilla gorillas and the dusty dark-skin hot chip loving gargoyles. [ __ ] them all, [ __ ] You thought [ __ ] was sweet, huh? Oh, hey Gojo. Didn't expect to catch you here. Kind of put it, huh? My best friend step by my side at that. Hey, I got to ask you some [ __ ] and be real with me. Was all this really over some Miami trip [ __ ] Like, I just feel like it was better than that. Honestly, it might have just been a principal by the end. Who knows? Still, those were some of the best times of my life. Even if that broke [ __ ] [ __ ] it all up for us, I just pray I don't have to see his ass in that fight. Whatever part of hell you going to is going to be way deeper than wherever Tog told you Bo ass ends up. Heads up? What you mean heads up? Oh yeah, I almost—
[Music] forgot. Oh, you raggedy [ __ ] Why am I not surprised? Guess that's just life, huh? I hate [ __ ]
[Music] The hell is this freaky ass [ __ ] You thought [ __ ] was sweet, huh? [ __ ] ain't no [ __ ] way. Wow. Is that how you greet your day one? Some best friend you are. How the hell are you here? I saw them bag you up. You was gone. [ __ ] told you broke ass killed you and you still here. What's the difference? Uh, fair point. You still got to explain this [ __ ] though. Oh, I was gone. But then I met this cursed spirit brain thing that could bring me back to life. [ __ ] e. His name's Kajaku. He hates [ __ ] damn near more than me. We chocked it up and made some arrangements. Now we just vibing. Wake up, hate [ __ ] together. It's a good life. But anyway, time to lock your ass up, Gojo.