Transcription
Why do I struggle to connect with my inner child? This is part two. Why is it that even when you understand your patterns? Nothing really changes.
Because change doesn't come from inside alone. It comes from practicing a different relationship with yourself. In my last video, I talked about speaking to your inner child. Not just when you're triggered, but every day. In this video, I want to show you exactly what that sounds like. Because this is the work you can do in between sessions where real change begins.
Let's start with the morning. You wake up and instead of going straight into your phone or your to-do list, you pause. You check in. You might say, "How are you feeling this morning?" And you wait. You notice a slight tension in your chest, a low-level anxiety. Instead of ignoring it, you respond, "I could feel something feels a bit unsettled this morning. Now I'm here with you. We'll take this one step at a time." That's it. No fixing, just connection.
Now, let's move into the day. You receive an email that feels well critical. And immediately, your inner critic steps in. "You got this wrong. You should have done better. This is why people don't trust you." Notice what happens next. Your body tightens. Your mood drops. That's your inner child feeling the impact. Now, listen to the shift. "Hold on. That's not fair. We're allowed to make mistakes. This doesn't define who you are." And then turning inward, "I can feel this has brought something up. Maybe that old feeling of not being good enough. I'm here with you. You're not alone in this." You are interrupting the critic and supporting the inner child at the same time in this process. That's the work.
Now, another moment, you're about to say yes to something you don't really want to do. There's a familiar pull to please. You pause. What's happening inside? You might say, "I can feel a pressure to say yes, but also something in me feels uncomfortable." That uncomfortable feeling is your inner child. So, you respond. "It's okay to say no. Your needs matter, too. I've got you." And then you set the boundary externally. This is how inner dialogue changes outer behavior.
Now, let's look at an evening reflection. You sit for a few minutes. You think about your day. "Early today when that conversation happened, I noticed you felt quite small and quiet, like you couldn't speak up. That makes sense. I know where that comes from. But you're not that child anymore, and I'm here with you now." Notice the tone. It's calm. It's steady. It's reassuring. This is how you begin to reparent yourself. Your biological parents couldn't do this.
And there are moments when the inner critic is relentless. You might hear, "This is pointless. You're wasting your time. You'll never change." This is where you step in more firmly. "I hear what you're saying, but that's not helpful. We're not doing that anymore. You don't get to speak to us like that." And then you turn back to your inner child. "I know that voice can feel powerful, but you're safe with me. I'm here."
Over time, these small moments build something much bigger. You are developing an internal relationship that most people never had growing up. You are learning to notice your feelings, respond to them, and protect yourself from that internal criticism. And it won't feel natural at first. It may feel awkward, even forced, but that's because it's new. And new is exactly what creates change. That is the work you do between sessions, not perfectly, but consistently. A few moments in the morning, a pause during the day, a reflection in the evening. Speaking to yourself with awareness, compassion, and boundaries.
Because the goal here is not to get rid of your inner child or silence your inner critic. It's to change the relationship between them. And when that relationship changes, everything begins to change. If you'd like help connecting with your inner child and pushing back on your inner critic, visit my website, book a free discovery call. Let's see what's possible.