Transcription
That 23-minute video is what launched this whole platform. Because I had to tell her that the minute you want want something for their money, have you ever dated a man earning more than you? Seriously? Yes. Do you have men earning more than you right now? Seriously vetting you to be their wife? I actually just ended my engagement about six months ago. Okay. How long were you guys together? Off and on for 10 years. And he earned more than you? Yes. And why you're in the engagement? Sex. I wasn't happy. You can't make this up, folks. Ma'am, die alone. I mean it. Man, die alone. 10 years a man invested in you, and you left him because of sex? Die alone. You had options, sir. If you're listening, do not take her back. I'm being honest. It's not cold. 10 years of man invested in you, and you invested in him, and you ended it over something as trivial as sex? Would you like? I mean, would you like to know why? No. I know you had 10 years, and I know you ain't gonna. The chances of you finding somebody on this level or higher is infinitesimally small. But women today feel like because they can get attention and or sex, that they can go replace a suitable man outside of sex. Did he have good character? No. No, no. Man, I don't buy that. I don't buy that one because you said you ended the cause of sex. Now, because of character? I've been doing this too long. So did you think by ending this that you're going to be able to find someone else to replace him as good or better? Yes. Um, why did you think? I mean, our relationship wasn't perfect. There was, you know, that's what a relationship is. Big mama, if you, you know how many people have gone to funerals and find out they got a whole other family somewhere? Relationship to problems. I guarantee if I had him on, if I had him, you tell me that you're a whole problem. But I'm asking from a business or logistics standpoint, if you, why did you think the market was full of six-figure men who would be interested in marrying a woman like yourself? I guess it's a wishful thinking, if I'm honest. But I mean, I, I didn't think there were, there would be men just falling at my feet. I mean, of course, you know, I'm just. But it was enough for you to get rid of something that you both were in for 10 years? I think that we both deserve to be happy all around the board. And your happiness? Relationships aren't about happiness. Marriage is business. Happiness is why the black community is dying because you women bought this feminism, independence, happiness, Disney [ __ ] and you got The Color Purple and Waiting to Exhale playing on the big screen in the back of your mind. When every other group of women will get with their men and make it work. Where in the marriage vows? Where in the Bible does it say? Are you a Christian, by the way? Um, I was raised in the Christian church. Did you plan on having a Christian ceremony when you get married? With the Bible? I would, you know, go on what my faith would be at the time. I'm not playing games, man. I'm just asking. I mean, not, I mean, not definitely, probably nine times out of ten. So a convenient Christian. And my point is, man, even just for my logistics, you're getting older. You've been in a situation with a man for 10 years. What man? Men aren't really keen to deal with women who have that kind of imprinting on them. And why is this conversation important? Because women need to hear that scrapping relationships, hoping to find something grass is green on the other side, is not smart. Because you didn't go from one to another. You went from something to nothing on a hope. Well, if you get what the hope is empty. What does life look like for you if you don't get married and you have no children? Socially, at 55 plus, probably like, you know, very lonely. Oh, man. That's more likely than that. One in four black women will already marry. When you're already 37, man, so you're two years into geriatric pregnancy. If you met a guy today, even six to 12 months, if y'all were married, you'd be every bit of 39 before you would have a kid. Most OB-GYNs tell women to stop and try around 42. And at your age, it's not uncommon to have to use IVF. These treatments are $12 to $25,000 per treatment. Do you plan on, if let's say you were, you did get married and had a kid, would you plan on going back to work or would you plan on staying at home for the first several years? Go back to work after 13 weeks with your newborn? You're going to turn it over just to somebody else. Okay. How much is newborn care? Do you know how much that is? I would say probably close to $2,000. So $24,000. Okay. How many kids would you like? Two at the most. Considered IVF? So, I mean, if I chose that with a husband or without one? Without one, because I've definitely weighed that out. So you're crazy. So you're crazy as [ __ ]. So you already know the statistics, but you're that selfish to decide to become a single mother? Wow. Guys, I swear to God, I didn't make this up. I didn't pay her. And I'm glad you be honest, man. Because you know this, the, the odds on a child of being raised as a single parent, right? The odds of the, the numbers are far worse. Kids do better. Be if you decide to have a child, man, it'll be purely for selfish reasons. I'd agree. So you're, you'll be basing raising your children solely based upon your income? So you'd have to put your child in a, in a daycare. And who would assist you with raising this child? But all this made more sense than to marrying a man you were with for 10 years? Did you, did you really think through all of this? Yes. I wasn't happy. I'm sure he would, if I wasn't happy, I'm sure he wasn't either. Well, and that's the problem. I can give a [ __ ] about happiness. And this is my point. And you may not agree with me, but modern women are so selfish. You guys, happiness is paramount in all things, and you'll do whatever you have to do to make yourself happy. Leave a, leave a stable relationship, become a single mother, and then when it doesn't work, you guys don't take accountability. But I got a question before we leave. You've been very honest. I appreciate this. But I've got a couple of questions. What state does this continue to leave the black community in if we continue to have 80 plus percent of our children born to single mother households? A terrible one. Beautiful. I get that. But, but can you honestly say that you really care about it? Is it a concern of yours? I mean, I know you care. But what is the overall black community or rank in your decision-making? Is it just paramount, or is it just an afterthought, or what is the black community rank? Yeah, yeah. You know, of course, being a black woman, I want to see us prosper in every arena. You know, the fam, our families, our careers, our businesses, our everywhere. And, you know, it's unfortunate that, you know, over the years, you know, we've been separated from what we should have been. We haven't been. Black women, have you guys are doing this, not us. So all the things you said sound good, but I got a hard question. How do we do any of that with women like you? I'm a product of my environment. Because then, I mean, I didn't have it. Man, man, I'm a part of my environment too. But how do we do that with women like you? It's not, it's women like you. I'm not seeing you. I'm saying women like you. How does the black community move forward? I want to make sure that when we answer this question, that we cover all bases before we go. Because you're saying women like me. So a woman like me who chose to, to be independent, is a detriment to the community? Yes. Because see, the first time. Okay, but before you didn't answer my question. How do we move forward with women like you? We can get into it, but I'm asking, how do we do that? Don't dissect what I said. How do men move forward with women like you? I'd say by working just as hard as we are. You have a choice to leave or go. You're free. No one can make you do anything. And free. How do we work with women who choose to lead? I mean, I can't answer that. Yes, you can. Okay, yes, you can. Because the community needs to continue. We need to continue to have families and children. If men want families and children, they have to get with what child-bearing women and have what? Wives and families. Right. Right. Right. Oprah Winfrey and you. We can't do that with. So what do we do if we need a black community? What do you tell the black men who want to build a black community and have black families and black babies when women like you and Oprah and all the other independent women are on whatever you're on? Cool. But what do you tell the men who want something different? Because you said you care about the black community, having businesses, family, something, and so forth. We're on the same page. But you need willing women like you. Fair to say you're not as willing as we need? What do we do with women like you? Put themselves in positions to leave. How about we just go get white women or non-black ones? How about we go get women who want to be with us of any race and then make babies? See, the problem is, the answer you don't want to give us is, you think you're our only option, and we're just supposed to bend over. No, man. Your answer is ultimately waste your time, black man, and try to. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Don't. No, that's not what we do right there. We don't. We don't just tell a man to continue to try to get a woman who doesn't want to be a wife down the aisle. The fair thing is with the black community, man. Fair be fair. We've been doing this pretty well for the black community. Continue to move forward. If a black man marries a Hispanic woman, a Middle Eastern woman, an Asian woman, a white woman, and they make babies, will the black community continue to move forward where we have families and children? Yes or no? Yes or no? Yes or no? The answer is no. I mean, we will have families, but you will have a black man with a wife and children. Is that not a family? Repeat that for me. A black man, a black man with a woman, what, even if she's on another race, but they will have children. Is that a family? That is a family. It's a black family because of the children. So we all right. So we want to build a black family. We have to have willing women to be wives and mothers. For whatever reason, far too many women are on the independent. That's fine. But we need to be able to tell the men who want families to stop trying to figure y'all out and get y'all down the aisle and go ahead and tell these men, get you somebody else and keep the black family going. Is that more important than black women? That's the question. And then we could do your question. Is that more important? Is the black community continuing more important than the black woman? You know, you can't make it up. Can you make it? Do you? And this is why I tell you guys, sell out, sell out the femininity because at that point, you're always going to be a hostage. They don't have to do anything. It's getting worse, and they just want you to waste your time. Ma'am, you cannot put black women above the black community. Please tell us how you put black women above the black community, and then I'll answer your questions. Community when you really think about it, it, you know, when you think about the over the last 25, 30 years, okay? This is the model. This is. No, no, no. It's not. No, it's not. The black woman is ruining the black community. Prior to 1965, we were made at a rate of 80. Jim Crow, segregation, slavery. We still had a community. We had church. We have family. All it took was feminism. Jim Crow, slavery, chattel slavery could not wreck the black family. All it took was one generation of feminism in college to [ __ ] this community up. You are free. As soon as you got your freedom papers, did you decide to stand by your black man, or did you decide to take the benefits for yourself and become independent? Fine. Black men have adjusted. But how can you tell? How can you put black women's solo interest above the black community survival? No one's saying don't be you or Oprah, but you can't put. How do you put that above the survival of a people? I guess I just hold black women that high. If I'm gonna answer that question, I just feel like, you know, we've made it happen through everything. So without us, you know, the black family will definitely come to an end. No, it won't. We carry the spark of life. We'll still be a black community. Matter of fact, it'll be better because then we'll have women who want to be with us, stay with us, and build families. Not have women who want to top me. You want to be on top from the bottom. But you are honest. This is the deification. This is the queen energy. We don't owe y'all nothing. We owe the community. We owe ourselves. And if y'all don't want to be here with us, that's fine. Live your life, travel, do whatever. And then once you go to dust, we'll be moving on down the path. Do you think if black men stop mating with black women, the black community would cease to exist? No. Then y'all better start acting like it, 'cause that's what's happening to you. Because without us, who's rushing into marriage? Is Brad Lee, Ahmed, and Enrique lining up to take over with black men leave behind? Who y'all gonna marry? IVF. These are good questions, ma'am. You gotta admit, these are good questions. You got some on your mind. Go ahead and ask. I'm scared of you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, you don't have to be. Okay. We have to have these conversations because so many sisters feel like you. That the answer is really, well, if I'm not ready, you should still wait till you find a black woman. But under no circumstances do you just give up on black women and get a non-black woman. Man, we die before y'all. We die more often. We die sooner. We don't have time to wait for y'all to decide you want to be our wives. I'm trying to wait for y'all to decide y'all want to be our part to be the mothers to our children. Maria can make fried chicken. Becky can make macaroni and cheese. Oh, you see? They, you see, you don't think so? University of California, Fresno. Go look at the black masculine studies. White girls are getting booties. White. The only, the biggest advantage black women had was physical. They are coming for black men. And y'all act like, and I want you to understand, y'all act like black men have to just stay beholden to this [ __ ] and and your attitude, or you're not an attitude, but your point of view is so rigid to where black men just need to just keep trying to figure out the combination. We're not your property, and we're not second-class citizens in the black community. We're independent too. Y'all forgot who actually runs [ __ ] around here. I don't belong in them. You belong to me. You belong to me. You heard me? Let me say it again. You belong to me. The kids belong to you. I belong to God. We report up in your bucking eyes. And you look confused. Go look in your Bible or whatever. Think I don't belong to you, woman? You belong to me, woman. Foreign concept. What you gonna do about it? If you don't want to belong to me, fine. Let blonde hair, blue eyes, flat booty Becky come in here. She'll be just fine with it. Let Maria come in here. Bobby, she'll be just fine with it. Let me link America and and Jamila coming here. That'll be just fine with it. May I say something? Kevin, please do. If I found a man that offered everything that, or I would say 75% of what I really wanted, I could conform. Tired of having to lead. I'm tired of having to be masculine. I want to be feminine. I want to be led. So what you just heard is chameleons, the conditional femininity that if a black man were A, B, and C, then I could rest in my femininity. I'm tired of having to lead. No, you can't get a masculine man because you're too masculine. That's why you got to get me, and you got to lead. Masculine men won't accept masculine women. But if you, but I'll tell you what you do. You want to know what you do? You treat the black man like you treat your white job or your white university or your white paycheck, and we got no problems. Put as much respect on our name as you put on that PhD, or the NBA, or Masters, or your Bachelor's. When I ask you what you got, you stood up loud and proudly, round off your credentials from Virginia State and Bowie State. Yes, sir. And you'll die. And they will give a [ __ ] that you would add Kiki jokes on you. They got your money. You might as well be on the plantation 'cause you by your damn self. But that, that's y'all's pride. Now, y'all are more proud to have Virginia State, blah, blah, blah, than Mrs. Robinson. Jokes on you. Even the feminists didn't buy this [ __ ]. Read the book, Subverted. This is why younger women aren't listening to women your age because they don't want to be in your position. Because you may have educational accomplishments, you may have money, but you don't have what makes everybody people happy, family, relationship. And ain't nothing you can get in those books or those jobs is going to do that. And the question is, if you could find somebody to give you 75% of what you want, what makes you, what makes you think yourself? What have you? What? How do you know your 75% of what the kind of man you want wants in a woman? Maybe the problem is in the mirror, not the man. Is that a new concept? That maybe there's something on your side that needs to be fixed? I don't know. Okay. I'll say this now because you see, you aren't really getting to see my personality through this conversation. Um, and, um, I'm thinking that, you know, these are more your thoughts versus what it actually is. You ain't special, man. I talk to you every day. I could take you and plug you into hundreds of other conversations I've had for three years. Start watching my content, you'll see you a lot more. That's the problem. I think I lost special. You're not. That's why I can complete your sentences. That's why I can ask you questions three moves ahead because I know you. See, I had to grow up with black women. We had to learn y'all and understand y'all. Y'all don't know us. Whether black men were so not what you want and not up to par, then why do you have a problem if the average black man moves on with a non-black woman to keep the black community going? Y'all don't wanna. I never said I had a problem. But I said, what do I said, how do we move forward? Women like you. And I said, what if you get a non-black one? You said no. And that's the point. Is y'all do want us to stay? I love black men, by the way. You can tell by your actions. Yes. Yeah. I think it's funny that black women say this stuff like we really believe this when y'all's actions show something different. Usually, when a black woman says, I love a black man, a tirade of insults is not far behind. See, we know y'all too well. And that's what's messing with y'all right now. The men are finally speaking. And they're telling because we grew up watching y'all as mamas, aunties, our cousins. But the more important thing is, you want, you said who's leading, right? So if a man needs to lead, he needs a woman that's going to follow. It's more important than a man who has a woman that's following. Does it matter what race she is? Okay, then. So if a black man can lead a non-black woman, why can't he lead a black woman? That's a great question. So when I ask you, how does we move forward with women like yourself, what's the disconnect? If black men can lead non-black women, because that's what one of the biggest concerns is, when you get on DBS for a white girl, well, if you can lead a non-black woman, how come y'all, okay, how can we can't lead you? That, I don't think that's the problem. Well, you know what? Okay, what is the problem? I think we got off topic, Kevin, because obvious question was, what did we rate sex in the relationship? Yeah, but that's, that's fine. Yeah, but you also said you were in character hiring. We showed that that wasn't true. The topic is relationships, and the topic is the truth. If black men can lead non-black women, why can't he lead black women? Let me ask the question another way. When a black woman is with a white man, does she act the same way with the white man that she does when she's with black men? See, I think that's just the question about compatibility more or less. Can he lead? If you're competitive, man, we have thousands and thousands and thousands of test cases of black women who are with black men in in public, and then they've got where the white men in public. Are you honestly trying to tell us that they actually treat black men and white men the same? I would not know. So I wouldn't say one way or the next. Okay. All right. What's your guess, man? What would you guess? I don't need. I don't need you to know each and every individual, but okay. You know, you got Serena Williams. You got. I can name. I can name countless women. Love Lonnie Love was with an out-of-work painter. We should be with an out-of-work black man that she met on ChristianMingle.com. She ain't even Christian. Come on, man. Let's not play games. Because if y'all, we really want to get somewhere, yeah, I'm gonna have to start being honest with yourselves and with us. When y'all don't want to be honest, I can't know. I can't speak for everybody. That's not me. Well, one of the initial things that we talked about was, um, the examples I had growing up. So I do believe that you treat your spouse based on the trade, based on, um, your the roles that you saw growing up. So if a man wasn't raised in an African-American household, he's not going to treat his African-American wife the same as an African-American man would treat his African-American wife if he grew up, you know, traditionally in an African-American household. What does all that mean? What does all that mean? That's word salad. The white man's not growing up in the White House. You're into black woman different based on your role, basically. Let me tell you something. According to the data, black men make the most involved fathers of all races. According to the data, black men are actually better in relationships because we grew up with women. That's why you got non-black women rushing over here because we weren't raising the patriarchy like they were. We're more willing to listen to our women. Where their women just get told what to do. See, you have been raised in a, in a culture who told you that we were beneath you and substandard to where you've even believed it. Then why are non-black women striving in and strolling in to get black men if we're so goddamn bad? Crickets. According to the CDC, black men make the most best involved fathers for very reasons, man. You have fallen to the propaganda that black men ain't [ __ ] and you got to live with the fact that you live that the most of your life, whether you acted on or not. You heard black men ain't [ __ ] for the black man ain't [ __ ]. Why are non-black women trying to rushing to get the top 10 or 15% of black men if they ain't [ __ ]? I'm still trying to get me one. Kevin, you had one for 10 years and you left it. He wasn't my person. Who told you you have a person? Adam, Hattie, convenient Christianity. People remember I asked if she was a Christian. See, your Godfather's too good for this [ __ ]. See, they just can't. They just can't. They cannot understand that they put themselves in their own trick bag and their ego is too God damn big to realize they screwed themselves. Humble yourself, man. Adam had Eve. You ain't no Eve, but you were with a man for 10 years. You were with a man for 10 years, and according to you, you left him because of sex. If that's the case, die alone. I don't know why women think y'all have an unlimited supply of men. The older you get, when most women would have just said, this is good enough. Black women, you better get used to good enough or dying by yourself. Black men, you don't have to be Superman to get these women. Sell out to femininity, gentlemen. You deserve better. Ma'am, you could be feminine. Y'all could do everything I'm asking you to do. Black women before you have done under worst circumstances. But the reason you can't, it's called you. The man are women like yourself, Oprah, all this other stuff. Y'all a man cool, but ma'am, it ends with you alone. It is with women like yourself alone. Maybe not you specifically, but the odds are very high. And you own here because whether you like it or not, you can see that it's more likely true. Why is it that as a, as a black woman's education and income goes up, her marital prospects go down? The men, 54% of black men are single and childless. 61% in the middle class. 2.5 million black men in the upper class. Black men are out earning and outpacing black women in every outcome metric. We are above your level. The average black man earns $6,000 more than the average black woman, yet you have $40 billion in student loan debt. You have bought into the [ __ ] propaganda. You ain't better than us, but y'all still don't miss me again on your level. You're right. We're above you. I never said that, though. Kevin, you said I said, why, when a black woman said that a black man, I'm better than a black man, but I said, why would a black woman's education and income go up, her mental prospects go down? And instead of saying she's more difficult to deal with, she outprices herself for the market, she automatically went to the men is the problem. The parliament, the education, the problem is the chick. Why is a non-black woman's income and education go up, her marital prospects don't decrease at the same rate as a black woman? Obviously, it's not the income or education, it's the woman. I'm showing you class. That black women's default for their, all the reasons why things don't work is the black man's fault. And they only been recognized that they're doing it when they do it. It's just the default answer. It's, it's like a multiple choice test. See, they just keep marking C, C. Maybe 37. It was somebody for 10 years, right? Wrong or indifferent, you got 10 years of imprinting on you. If you don't get back with that man, which dude? If you decide to get it back with her, make her pay. Make her pay. But if you don't get back together with him, cool. Where's this man gonna come from? And, uh, don't go out and be a single mother with IVF because I'm telling you, can't say nobody told you. If you do decide to do it, when you see a black man walking by with a little blonde hair, blue eyes wife and little, uh, 10 babies with good hair, you should, good thing for you. Mufasa, wish I could have had me one. Come on, come on, Alexis. Let me make you a baby mama too. Let's get our matching Chanel slippers. Let's go out to brunch. You can be strong and independent like Mama. I don't have to live this way. It's a choice, man. You don't have to be alone. But there comes a time, man, to where you will be alone. This is funny. Back and forth. I think this has been a really good conversation for a lot of people. Thank you for keeping your composure. I think, but we need to have these conversations because at the end of the day, we all, y'all got. Well, the only product y'all got to buy in mass. I didn't like brussels sprouts as a little kid, but you know what? My mama kept putting brussels sprouts on that plate, and she eventually, you eat them brussels sprouts on that plate every day until I, and today I love brussels sprouts. You better get you, better get your brussels sprouts, whether you like with bacon or maple glaze or whatever. You best start eating brussels sprouts before you just have water to drink.