Transcription
To get to fear by Gavin de Becker. The goal of this video is to help you avoid being in the presence of someone who might do you harm, or to try to understand why people hurt others.
Like every animal in nature, you too have a remarkable defense system. While human beings didn't get the sharpest claws or the strongest jaws, we did get the biggest brains. Illusion is a part of America, and more than that, it is a part of our species. It is around us, and it is in us. Without one single enemy or predator who poses to us any danger of consequence, we found the only prey left: ourselves.
The prevalence of violent events brings up the following question: Why do we worship hindsight, as in the news media's constant rehash of the day, the week, the year, and yet distrust foresight, which actually might make a difference in our lives? One reason is that we don't have to develop our own predictive skills. In a world where experts will tell us what to do, we don't need to learn about violence. Minimal because the police will handle it, the criminal justice system will handle it, experts will handle it. Though it touches us all and belongs to us all, and though we each have something profound to contribute to the solution, we have left this critical inquiry to people who tell us that bonds cannot be predicted, that risk is a game of odds, and that anxiety is an unavoidable part of life. That's false.
The truth is that your safety is your responsibility. Your personal solution will not come from technology. It will come from an even grander resource that was there all along: intuition. Intuition is usually described as emotional, unreasonable, or inexplicable. We much prefer logic, a grounded, explainable, unemotional thought process that ends in a supportable conclusion. In fact, Americans worship logic even when it's wrong and deny intuition even when it's bright.
Intuition is the journey from A to Z without stopping at any other letter along the way. It is knowing without knowing why. How many times have you said, "I knew I should have done that"? That means you got the signal and didn't follow. The problem is judgment, and that's what gets in the way of your perception and intuition.
People do things "out of the blue," "all of a sudden." I don't know where these phrases support the popular myth that predicting human behavior isn't possible. Human violence, and fear the most, that we call random and senseless, is neither. It always has purpose and meaning to the perpetrator, at least. The truth is, every thought is preceded by perception. Every impulse is preceded by thought, and every action is preceded by an impulse. And no man is so private that his behaviors unseen, his patterns undetectable.
Pre-incident indicators are detectable factors that occur before the outcome being predicted. Stepping on the first rung of a ladder is a significant pre-incident indicator to reaching the top. Stepping on the sixth, even more so. Since everything a person does is created twice, once in the mind and once in its execution, ideas and impulses are pre-incident indicators for actions. There is no mystery of human behavior that cannot be solved inside your head or your heart. Evolution gave us introspection specifically so we can model other human beings and therefore predict their behavior.
Distinguished psychiatrist Karl Menninger has said, "I don't believe in such a thing as a criminal mind. Everyone's too criminal. We're all capable of criminal fantasies and thoughts." Perhaps unsurprisingly, then, violence and homicide occur in all cultures. When we accept that violence is committed by people who look and act like people, we silence the voice of denial, the voice that whispers, "This guy doesn't look like a killer." Many errors of predicting behavior come from the belief that others will perceive things as we do. The psychopath will not.
To successfully predict his behavior, you must see the situation your way and his way. Imagine you are watching a bird as it floats to earth, battling the sun. Is the bird's shadow on the ground, and both bird and shadow move toward the landing point? We know that the bird cannot possibly arrive there before its shadow. Likewise, human action cannot land before impulse. An impulse cannot land before that which triggers it.
The conscious or unconscious decision to use violence usually boils down to how a person perceives four fairly simple issues: justification, alternatives, consequences, and ability.
Perceive justification: Does the person feel justified in using violence? The process of developing and manufacturing justification can be observed. A person who is seeking to feel justification for some action might move from "What you've done angers me" to "What you've done is wrong." Popular justifications include the moral high ground of righteousness and admission, and the more simple equation known by its biblical name: an eye for an eye. Anger is a very seductive emotion because it provides the energizing and exhilarating. Sometimes people feel their anger is justified by passing fairness things, and with the slightest excuse, they bring forth resentments unrelated to the present situation.
Perceive alternatives: Does the person perceive that he has available alternatives to violence that will move them towards the outcome he wants? Since violence, like any behavior, has a purpose, it's valuable to know the goal of the actor. Knowing the desired outcome is key. If a person's desired outcome is to inflict personal injury and there are few alternatives devised, if the outcome is to punish someone, there might be many. It is when he perceived no alternatives that violence is most likely. David wouldn't have fought Goliath if he perceived alternatives. More than anything, he fought because he had no choice.
Perceive consequences: How does the person view the consequences associated with using violence? Assort before resorting to force, people weigh the likely consequences, even if unconsciously or very quickly.
Finally, perceive ability: Does the person believe he can successfully deliver the blows or bullet or bomb? People who have successfully used violence in the past have a higher appraisal of their ability to prevail using violence again. People with weapons or other advantages receive a high ability to use violence.
Behavior is like a chain. Too often we look at just the individual links. But we want to believe that violence is a matter of cause and effect. It is actually a process, a chain in which the violent outcome is only one link. Hopefully, this video provided some insight. If you learned something, please share and subscribe.