Transcription
What I'm saying to you is: all the other you did, you need to plan for your intimate relationship. And if it's not working, I'll tell you the best way to do it. You know, if you train a dog, I don't support this, but people, they can train a dog by smacking him. You can't train a dolphin that way. If you try to smack a dolphin, it swims away. The only way to train a dolphin is with love, with rewards, no pain. You can't catch them for the pain. You can do that to a poor dog. Can't do it to a dolphin.
So, I remember decades ago, I read a book called 'Don't Hit the Dog.' And it was all about how we as humans condition each other without knowing it. We're always training each other. And the only way they train is they'll take these dolphins. This is what you do with your husband. And you know, if a dolphin gets really sick or tired or just burned out from the same routine, he just willfully won't do it.
And I talked to one of the top golfing trainers and I said, "What do you do when you get a listless dolphin or dolphin that's been performed? And they don't perform and you got to go out and perform?" He goes, "We give them a jackpot." I said, "What's that?" He goes, "We go out and get an entire bucket of fish for no reason and dump it on their head and they go insane. They start biting at, jumping, flying everywhere, and then as they do, reward them, and all of a sudden they go again."
But when most of you do in a relationship, when it's not the way you want, you pull back. You think you're going to punish them. Punishing your partner punishes you. That whoever taught you that, I promise you, look at who it was. They're not in a happy relationship, right?
But you learn from them. You learn from a someone who is not successful in that category. May have been a good person but not successful. You don't want to learn how to be healthy from diseased people. I went around, found the most healthy people, and said, "What are they doing different? Diseased, what are they?" And contrasted them. See what's the difference that works.
So, your husband needs a jackpot.