Transcription
Hello, friends. Friends, I want to say something to you all, and I truly wish that you will listen to our words. The things you chase, like money, position, prestige, house, honor, body, health – all these things that you think will set your life right once you get them. Know this, nothing like that will happen. The change you are hoping for, by trying to earn all these things, your expectations will not be fulfilled.
My name is Gulab Chand Shukla. I have turned 75 years old. I too, in my life, spent 50 years chasing those things that could never fill the emptiness in my life that I was trying to fill. To chase wrong things for 50 years is a very long time. So, sit with us for a few minutes. What I took half a century, 50 years, to understand, I will try to tell you now. Perhaps, you might not waste as much time as I did.
We all make the same mistake. We think we will be happy when we get this, when we get what? When we get a promotion, when we have our own house, when our home loan is paid off, when people start respecting me, when I retire, we will have plenty of time. I said the same thing my whole life. My whole life. My whole life, you know what happened? I got a promotion. I got a house too. I built not one, but many houses. I retired. People respect me, perhaps. But at this age, who counts respect?
But there is one thing that no one tells you. It is that when you achieve one thing, another thing comes before you. The destination always shifts further away. You feel the destination is about to be reached, but then you see it has moved even further than before. I too, spent 50 years chasing a destination that simply did not exist.
Now, I will tell you something about myself for which I have no pride. I am not proud of it. But I want to share this with you all. I was born into a poor farmer's family. Not so poor that there was difficulty in eating, but certainly poor enough that I could feel what poverty and richness were. We were seven brothers. Our father was a farmer. He had a peculiar habit: until he bathed and performed his prayers, he would not drink a single drop of water. But working in the fields, poverty, sometimes it would be three or four in the evening before he could bathe. He had no particular respect in the village or anywhere. People considered him insignificant. I used to observe these things. At that time, I must have been 10 or 11 years old, but perhaps I matured before my time. I decided then that I would not let the same happen to me as was happening to my father. I will study, become a big person, earn a lot of money, and achieve success so that I have honor and worth. And I did just that. From childhood, I dedicated everything to my studies. Whether at home, in the village, or in the fields, whenever I was sent for any work, I would go. After doing that work, the only passion was that I had to study. And perhaps that is why I kept coming first in class, and our hard work gave us results, and I completed my engineering. After engineering, I got a job as an Assistant Engineer in the maintenance department of a fertilizer industry. Colony, house, money, and respect – I got all these things. But my desire was not satisfied with that. I had a passion to grow. I would be at the office from 7:30-8 AM. I would leave the office at 5:00-5:30 PM. At home, there was my wife and children. But it was as if we had no particular concern for our wife, children, or home. My only focus was on how to excel in my plant, in my job, and to keep getting success in my career. Perhaps I ignored many things at home. I got a promotion too. I became a Senior Engineer. I got a job abroad, in ADNOC, Abu Dhabi National Oil Company, with four weeks on and four weeks off. There, I was selected for the post of Engineer. There too, I did the same. My family lived in India. I would stay there for four weeks, work, and then come on leave for four weeks. When I was on duty for four weeks, I would work there with full dedication so that my career could improve further. And when I would come home on leave, it was as if I was not even at home. My constant effort was to invest some of my money somewhere else, to earn more money, to buy a bigger house, a bigger car, to purchase land and property. The important part of my life passed in pursuit of all these things. Around the age of 50, I became the Department Head in the company, the Maintenance Manager. The maintenance department of the unit came under me. I worked very hard. Finally, I retired. During my service, and after coming on leave, or even before that, everyone who interacted with me thought, "What a successful person. He studied well. He achieved a home, car, horse, bungalow, everything."
Now, let me tell you one more thing. I was married. My wife came. My wife, I would say, was a very decent lady. She sometimes told me, "Is it necessary that we earn so much money and you stay so far away?" I perhaps exploited her and showed her the social norms of home, children, and family, and tried to make her support our dream. She too made my dream her dream and gave up everything, took on my responsibilities, and handled the social obligations, raising the children, looking after them, the home, whatever it was. And I remained focused on building my career, chasing more earnings. After achieving all those things, I retired and came home. But amidst all these things, what did I miss? I missed my growing children. I missed their school functions. I missed eating meals sitting with them. I missed taking them somewhere. All that work was done by my wife. I missed many things. But I was consumed by a passion to further my career and earnings. In my career, I became a Manager. My nameplate was placed in front of my office. People called me Sir. I received a lot of respect, both in the office and in India. Whenever I got a promotion, as an Engineer or Manager, I would get happiness for a few days. But it was very short-lived. After a few days, the same routine. The same emptiness in life. It felt like I was trying to climb a mountain. A lot of hard work, all the struggles, the path was rough, but I reached it. I became successful. After that success, when I reached the mountain, I found nothing there. What did I find? Only the understanding that I was successful, and immediately, another mountain appeared before me, and I tried to climb that second mountain. For all these things, I, in a way, stopped living my life. But what did I achieve? Did the house, buildings, cars, all these things constitute my life? No. I understood that all these things were not my life. I was not running behind money, position, prestige, respect, to get them. I was running because I thought that once I achieved these things, a feeling would come in my mind that my life would be secure. I matter. I am not insignificant. And all these things, from my understanding, could give me what I was doing, what I was earning, which was totally wrong. People calling me Sir, having a lot of money, a lot of respect – these things would never bring the feeling within my mind that my future would be safe, that I would be secure, that I would not need anyone's permission. I did not understand this. If I was not capable, if I was not competent, how could I achieve all these things? This means that I was capable. I was enough, comfortable, even without all these things, because I was who I was. I just had to decide if I was truly capable, worthy. Did I matter in society?
The same happened in my marriage. I got married. I started earning and providing for my wife, a house, a car, all the comforts. Thinking that when I give all this to my wife, she will be happy, and I will be happy too. But perhaps she needed me, not money. She said once or twice, "Do we need so much money? Can't we live together?" Yes. We are not saying we don't need money, don't need a home. We need everything. But after a basic need, we should also live our lives. And all these were the reasons why she was not happy. It wasn't that she was unhappy because I was not successful. But she was unhappy because she missed what she needed – my company, talking with me, living together, eating together. All these things she missed, and because of that, she was unhappy. I understood later that providing things, accumulating them, cars, horses, all these are different, and living together, exchanging feelings, all these are different. I had read somewhere, "The journey is the destination." I understood its meaning later. Life is a journey for us. If you call life's destination, perhaps life's end. So what do we do? We think that we will reach the destination after completing life's journey, and then we will enjoy life. But the destination in our life is the end. So, will we enjoy it after we die?
Yes, many people create about 10-20 destinations in their lives, and when they reach that destination, they enjoy a little. But one thing to note here is that today I am trying to live. I will live tomorrow. So, will we get today's moment tomorrow? Will we get the same mental understanding, our age, our family's, our children's, after a few years?
In this, I will give you a small example. There was a father, a father. He had a young son. The son always used to tell his father, "Papa, sit with us. Play with us a little. Come to our school. There is a function in our school. It's my PTM." But he didn't have time due to earning money and couldn't go. He worked hard. Became very successful. Earned a lot of money. When he had enough money that he felt he could give time to his child, he came home and called his child with great joy and said, "Come, son, let's sit together, let's play together." At that time, his son had grown up. He had his own ways of living. He too had aspirations for his own earnings, and he no longer had time to enjoy life with his father.
So, in this way, our life's journey, it's not that we should shy away from earning. We don't need a home. We need everything. But we should not do it in such a way that we sacrifice every moment of our life that we could enjoy. We should not trade our life, but move forward enjoying every moment.
Think of it like this: there is a line of ash, on which some ants are walking, and that ash keeps spreading. As far as that ash spreads, those ants have lived that much of life. The portion beyond that, which remains as it is, is the destination; that life has not been lived.
We have an uncle, he is about 84 years old. Even today, he is chasing these things. He compares, "Our neighbor's house is bigger than our house. The car our neighbor has is better than our car." Even today, he keeps comparing. Even today, he keeps counting, and he is very visible. On the other hand, we have another cousin who is not very rich. He has a small house in the village, but he is contented. However he is, he is happy. He wakes up in the morning, thanks God, and lives his life happily.
Friends, in this life of ours, we never live freely. We always have a desire to earn more and keep trying to earn. To keep earning money. True independence is when someone says something bad to us, and it doesn't hurt us, but we can ignore it. Where we don't think whether any person will like me or not. We remain beyond that.
Friends, the real truth is that the happiness we are seeking in the life we are living is not going to come from outside. That happiness is an internal matter. We just have to stop running. We have to stop searching for this happiness outside. And when you stop running outside, stop searching outside, then perhaps that happiness will come to you automatically. When you understand that I am worthy, I am capable, I am enough. Looking in the mirror, you can say to yourself, "Yes, this is me, and I am enough as I am."
In this way, if you can live the journey, instead of reaching the destination and enjoying only then, it is like postponing our life. If we enjoy every moment and move forward, then perhaps at the end, when we look back, we will have no regrets. We will not feel that we wasted our life.
Friends, if you feel these words are useful to you, then share them with those who are caught in this rat race. Thank you.
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