Transcription
Jared was home for Valentine's Day. Without a date or party for the first time since he was 16, expecting to spend this day with his beloved wife, he made a reservation at a small restaurant several months in advance. However, the reservation was respected. As his wife was there, but today she was there with someone else, and he took her there himself.
Lisa was a good wife to Jared. Attentive, respectful, joyful, and hardworking. These were the qualities that described this woman with a beautiful body who, for some reason, married Jared. She even seemed to love Jared. Jared considered himself lucky.
He met Lisa at a local college at a Valentine's event. Jared was quite handsome in his usual way. He dated girls, but until Lisa, he never found the one with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life. Lisa came to the event with friends. Until last Christmas, she was dating a guy she went to school with, as Jared later learned. Everyone thought they were a perfect match and expected Lisa and Russell to stay together through college and then get married. But Russell went to a prestigious university on the East Coast, and Lisa could only attend a local college. The distance was difficult, but they kept in touch through text messages and cell phone conversations. They dated during the holidays when Russell was home, spring break, and most of the summer after his freshman year of college.
The relationship began to cool during his sophomore year as Russell got an internship and had to study hard to maintain his grades. He stayed at the university for Thanksgiving. Moreover, Russell began to answer messages and calls less often than before. Russell did spend more time with new friends in college of both genders, and due to social commitments, school, and internships, he did not have time to give Lisa as much attention and effort as before. For her part, Lisa became increasingly irritated and suspicious. After all, Jared was handsome, smart, and charismatic. Lisa suspected that Jared was less faithful than she expected him to be.
The turning point was the Christmas holidays. Russell did come home for the holidays and spend time with Lisa, but a lot of his time was spent helping his parents get the house ready for Christmas and hanging out with friends. Lisa was now suspicious of Russell, and her anxiety began to cloud their relationship. Lisa was especially upset that Jared chose to go skiing in Vermont with a group from his school the week between Christmas and New Year's. Lisa could not go because she did not know how to ski and could not afford the trip, in addition to other family responsibilities at the time. However, thanks to Twitter and Facebook, Lisa was able to follow Jared's adventures during this trip, and some of the photos clearly didn't show Jared at his best. In fact, Jared maintained his honor, but his composure ended there. Lisa was shown numerous photographs of Jared in situations that clearly hinted at his infidelity on the trip. Lisa still loved Russell but decided it was better to suffer now than later and chose the former. "Don't tell me there's nothing going on. I see the photos. It's just the tip of the iceberg. I won't be in a relationship with a cheater. We're done." Then she stopped all contact with him.
Lisa started dating others and met Jared at a Valentine's event. Jared was scruffier looking than Russell but had that boyish charm and tough look that attracted several of the college girls. They met in line for beer and struck up a conversation that ended with Lisa giving Jared her number and agreeing to go on a date. They started dating casually. Jared quickly fell in love, but Lisa didn't want to jump from one relationship to another and deliberately dated other guys. Jared understood her hesitancy, but he wanted Lisa. Despite some disappointment and jealousy over her dating others, Jared relentlessly continued his advances. Lisa became the center of his world, even if she was not always by his side. Jared's friends commented that Jared was like a little puppy, infatuated with Lisa.
The following Valentine's Day, Jared took Lisa out to a nice dinner and discreetly asked if they could be an exclusive couple. Jared was already attached to Lisa, so he asked her to commit to him and stop dating others. Lisa refused to promise that she would never go on a date with someone else again. "Look, I like you, Jared, and I really do, but I need to be sure. Let's give it another year, please." Lisa really liked Jared and loved spending time with him, but she couldn't overcome the feeling that Russell took up too much space in her heart to leave room for Jared. Lisa did respond to other guys' advances but never dated anyone more than once because none of them were on par with Jared or Russell. In addition, Lisa and her friends considered Jared a smart find. Lisa's mom also loved Jared very much and thought Lisa had struck gold. She always invited them to any meal that could fit into their schedules, all the while hinting at how long wedding planning took. But although Jared regularly declared his love, Lisa simply responded with "I know" or "Me too."
The following Valentine's Day, Jared expressed his love and commitment to Lisa on one knee and gave her a stunning diamond ring. Lisa immediately accepted it. Lisa's analytical mind has long realized that Jared meets all her requirements for a husband. Jared was relatively handsome, charming, hardworking, mature, and offered financial stability through a good job at a large company that he liked. They got along well and rarely quarreled. Both Lisa and Jared shared each other's interests, including sex, which they both enjoyed. "What more could you ask for?" Lisa thought, even if she still had feelings for Russell. Lisa decided that she also loved, or at least could learn to love, Jared. She wasn't going to risk letting Jared enter the free market with his assets.
Lisa and Jared got married the summer after she graduated from university, with Jared already working and Lisa finding a job in an entry-level position. They bought a house and started their family life. They were a beautiful couple, witty and outgoing with good friends. Although they were occasionally spotted individually, both would be shocked at the thought of moving outside the confines of their marriage. They were very supportive of each other and both felt that each would be there for the other. However, Jared's love for Lisa was more passionate than Lisa's feelings in return. Jared didn't show his emotions openly, but he was a little hurt that his beautiful and devoted companion never expressed her love for him as strongly or passionately as he did for her.
In their third year of marriage, they attended a barbecue with some of Lisa's friends from high school. As usual, the couple alternated between spending time together and spending time with each other separately. At that party, after they split up, Jared noticed that he hadn't seen Lisa in a long time. He eventually found her sitting on a bench on the front porch with a man Jared didn't recognize but with whom Lisa was having an intense conversation. He decided not to get involved, but after half an hour without seeing Lisa, he returned to the front porch, where Lisa and the same man were still talking. As Jared approached, Lisa noticed him and stood up. "Honey, guess who's coming to dinner? It's Russell." "Russell, this is my husband, Jared." As they shook hands, Lisa explained that Russell had convinced his company to open an office in his hometown, and he had returned to develop the office. "It was so unexpected to meet Russell. So much time has passed, and so much water has passed under the bridge," Russell added. "Yes, a lot has changed, but a lot has remained the same. Jared, congratulations on winning the golden ticket. Lisa is one of a kind." With that, Russell walked away while Jared and Lisa returned to the barbecue, holding hands but not saying a word. They continued to chat and enjoy the party until people began to leave.
In the car, Jared finally asked, "I think you had a lot to talk about." "Yes, you know, Russell and I were close, and we haven't parted as friends. It's time to bury the hatchet." "So, you buried it?" "What are you talking about?" "Oh, burying the axe." "Yeah, yes, of course," answered Lisa, looking straight ahead. Jared felt the siren starting to sound in his head. "Did he say something to the effect that he hasn't been with anyone since then because he couldn't replace you? Should I be worried?" he said. "Although I'm not sure I believed him, but to your other question, no, honey, you have nothing to worry about." After a pause, she added, "You are my husband and a good husband. You treat me like a queen and are always there for me. I will never leave you." Lisa then placed her hand on Jared's thigh and continued, "Just take us home and to our bed, where I'll show you how committed I am to you." The evening ended with casual sex, although Jared wondered in the silence if Lisa was thinking about him or Russell as she pressed herself against him.
Over the next few months, there were several occasions when Lisa found herself at parties or other events where Russell was present, sometimes when Jared was around, sometimes when he wasn't. Lisa and Russell sometimes hugged hello or goodbye and occasionally touched each other's hands while talking, but there were no signs or anything that failed the spouse test. Jared remained calm. When the New Year came, they were at a New Year's party, and Russell was there too. At midnight, Jared and Lisa kissed each other and then started talking to everyone else, and everyone was drunk, hugging, and kissing on the cheeks. Lisa and Russell then met and hugged before kissing on the lips, but then they separated and continued to communicate with others. Jared was a little upset, and on the way home, he asked, "Maybe I'm too sensitive, but I haven't kissed any woman on the lips. Kissing Russell on the lips while hugging is something I didn't expect. It was in public and in front of me, so it's not cheating, but it seems that this is beyond the bounds of what is permitted." Lisa looked at Jared with a look of shock and annoyance on her face. "I'm sorry if it hurts you, darling, but it was just a New Year's greeting between friends. Nothing more. You don't have to worry about it. Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss. Please don't make it more than it is." Lisa leaned over and kissed his cheek as Jared continued to stare at the road.
Arriving home, Jared and Lisa started the new year with the best sex they'd had in a long time. Jared noticed that Lisa was more energetic than usual, and for the first time, Lisa moaned "I love you" when they made love. Jared was pleasantly surprised but then began to wonder if Lisa was expressing her love to soften the impact of kissing Russell, or perhaps Lisa was thinking about Russell when she said those words. Over the next few days, the kiss was forgotten because Jared didn't want such a potentially ambiguous event to overshadow his relationship with the woman he truly loved. Jared remained calm and confident in his marriage.
Soon, Valentine's Day arrived, which was a big event for Jared and Lisa. On this day, they met for the first time, and on this day, Jared proposed to her. So, Jared made a reservation for a romantic dinner on Valentine's Day. This comfort was shattered later in January. That day, Lisa was working from home, and Jared was on the road. Instead of returning to the office after the trip, Jared decided to come home early. The garage door was open, so he entered the house, where he heard Lisa talking loudly on the phone to someone. Jared couldn't help but overhear Lisa's side of the conversation, and it hit him like lightning. "I know, but I can't meet you for lunch or a walk or anywhere where we'll be alone. I'm sorry, but as much as I'd like to, I can't." Jared couldn't hear the other side of the conversation, but after a pause, Lisa continued, "You don't understand. Meeting alone would be suicide. We may not plan on it, but your hand will accidentally touch mine, or we'll hug, and I can't trust you either. We won't take it to ourselves that we won't move on to the next step, and the next, and the next." Another pause. "It's because we love each other that we can't date. Even if we avoid touching, there will be emotional intimacy between us, and that's cheating, even if we don't go any further. And I'm... I'm not sure we could have avoided it. As soon as we start..." Brief pause. "It's best for both of us if we just avoid each other and avoid the pain of seeing each other so close and yet so far away." Another short pause. "Yes, I said I still love you, and always have. I'm so sorry I broke us up, but I did. And I found Jared. He's a good man, and he was and will always be there for me. He truly and absolutely loves me and tells me that I am his life. He trusts me completely. I could never hurt him by leaving him or cheating, and the only way I can avoid hurting him is by avoiding staying alone with you, like it's a plague." Pause. "I don't care what words you use. Any private meetings with you will be dates, no matter how much you try to avoid that word. I promised myself to my husband, and I can't date you." Pause. "I know I didn't say I loved Jared, but it doesn't matter anymore. If I love him or love you more than him, I told you before, he's a really good man who loves me completely. He's committed to me. He doesn't deserve a cheating wife, and I could never break the promises I made to God and our families." Pause. "We will still be friends and can see each other when other people are around. You will always have a place in my heart, and I sincerely hope that you find a woman who can love you without the baggage that... that I would bring. But it has to end like this. I'm sorry." Jared heard Lisa sob quietly. He quietly left the house and then returned noisily. Jared dropped his laptop bag in the office where Lisa was still sitting. Lisa stood up and greeted Jared with a warm kiss and hug. "I didn't hear the car pull up. My mind was somewhere else, but I'm just glad to see you home." Lisa tried to pull away, but Jared continued to hold her in his arms. He could see a little red in her eyes. "I love you so much, my dear." "I know you love me, darling, and I appreciate everything you do for me. Now, let me start cooking dinner," she replied and headed to the kitchen.
The rest of the evening went as usual, and after dinner, Jared and Lisa settled down to watch a show. During a break between episodes, Lisa turned her head to Jared and asked, "Honey, can we talk about whether I should stop taking the pills? I know you want a family, and maybe we shouldn't drag this out too much because we'll never know what can happen." She then looked into my eyes and laughed. "I really want everyone to see me with your baby in me." Then she gave me a deep kiss. Jared kissed her back because his love for her had never been stronger. He wondered, given what he'd heard earlier, whether Lisa thought pregnancy was a way she could block out Russell and her feelings for him. When Jared broke the kiss, he stroked the side of Lisa's face and asked, "Will you love children the same way you love me?" Lisa was shocked. "What question is that? Of course, I will love our children. I don't understand what made you say that." Looking into her eyes, he said, "When I came home, I told you I loved you, remember?" "You said, 'I know you do,' and then turned to the kitchen." Lisa's eyes restlessly moved from his eyes to the floor. Jared continued, "When was the last time you told me you loved me, darling, other than New Year's?" "I don't remember. Do you remember?" "Now," Lisa looked at Jared with horror, or at least with great stress. "Darling, how can you even ask such a question? You are my husband and my best friend. I love being with you, and I want to have your children. My greatest dream is to grow old with you until death do us part. Why are you asking these questions?" "Why? You just expressed some wonderful thoughts, including that you love being with me, but I still haven't heard that you really love me. Why is this so hard?" "Sorry, but I'm a little confused by your questions," she replied, looking into his eyes. After a short pause, she continued, "Yes, darling, I love you, and please never doubt our love again." But she looked down as she spoke the words, only to meet his gaze again as she continued, "Darling, we are one, and we will always be here for each other." Then she smiled. "Until you let me go."
The next two weeks reflected the internal struggle that Lisa and Jared were experiencing. Lisa did everything she could to convince Jared of her love. She bought several new outfits from Victoria's Secret and became more active and perhaps even desperate in bed. But there were times when Jared saw that Lisa's thoughts were somewhere else, not connected with him or her surroundings. Jared saw her loving behavior as an attempt to banish Russell from her mind and prove to herself that she truly loved Jared and not Russell.
One evening, while Jared was working in the yard, he had to go into the house. Then he heard Lisa again in a telephone conversation, which he soon realized was with her mother. Then everything came out again. "No, Mom, I think Russell has accepted the situation. He hasn't tried to contact me since we talked, and I'm definitely not going to contact him." Pause. "I know you like Jared, and rest assured that I'm committed to Jared. I just need to sort out my feelings for Russell. It's not easy. They're stubborn and unwavering. I think about Russell all the time, and sometimes it's hard to keep it under control." Pause. "I don't know how I can get over my love for him. I seriously think that maybe getting pregnant with Jared will force Russell out of my head. I mentioned to Jared that we should start. I want Jared's baby, and if it frees me from Russell, so much the better." Pause. "Yes, Mom, we have to be very careful to never let Jared know that I love Russell. It would kill Jared, and it would kill me because I would hurt him." Pause. "Sure, keeping a secret from Jared hurts, but it only hurts me, and I would never let anyone or anything hurt Jared. Jared is about to come home, so I need to go. Bye, Mom."
Jared was absolutely in love with Lisa. She walked on water. But now Jared's view of Lisa has reached a new height. In light of her decision to sacrifice Russell to avoid hurting him, Jared wondered what to do. "Lisa shouldn't be blamed for Russell entering her heart. Russell was there before I showed up. She's trying desperately to stay true to me and our marriage and trying not to hurt me, but she clearly loves Russell, not me. Lisa is wonderful, and she deserves to be happy. Lisa cannot be completely happy with me. Her true happiness can only be with Russell. If I really love Lisa, and I do, the only thing that matters is Lisa's happiness. Nobody loves without pain." Jared couldn't let Lisa suffer, and he couldn't live in a marriage based on pity or obligation anyway. If he loved Lisa, he had to act, and there was only one choice. The next day, Jared scheduled a meeting with a legal friend, during which he asked him to prepare a divorce petition with standard terms and division of assets.
Valentine's Day was fast approaching, and Jared couldn't help but think that it was right and proper to show his extreme love for Lisa on this day. The week before Valentine's Day, Jared couldn't make love to Lisa. In his mind, she no longer belonged to him but belonged to Russell. Now he considered sex with Lisa to be treason. It might be crazy, but Jared wanted Lisa to leave him as the pure goddess he imagined her to be.
On Valentine's Day, Jared came home from work to pick Lisa up for dinner. He was amazed at how sensually but tastefully Lisa dressed. It was a burgundy dress with a lace top that ended above the knees, black stockings, and matching 4-in heels. Lisa laughed as she turned to him, hinting that he had noticed the outline of her garter belt. "You're great. You did a great job," he said, trying to hide the jealousy he now felt. "Aren't you worth it, darling?" she answered, then whispering insidiously in his ear, she added, "But wait until you see what's underneath. For you, my loving husband." Jared smiled sadly because Lisa had no way of knowing that he wouldn't be the man to undress this beautiful woman tonight, and another man would reveal Lisa's secret. "We better get going," he said as they got into the car. Lisa chatted on the road, happy and looking forward to another pleasant evening with her husband, while Jared quietly reflected that this might be the last time he would take her. Jared couldn't carry on a conversation; he just listened to Lisa's speak, that golden voice that he would never hear again. When they entered the restaurant, Jared put his arm around Lisa's waist for what he thought was the last time. "Lisa, Valentine's Day is a celebration of love, and on this day of love, there is only one gift I can offer you that will even come close to demonstrating the love that every molecule in my body feels for you." "I know, and that will be my last gift to you." Jared looked around the room and saw him, Russell, sitting alone at a table for two. Jared had called Lisa's mom the day before and through many tears convinced her to act as a mediator to get Russell here. Lisa also saw him and covered her mouth with her hands in horror. Jared still held Lisa by the waist, from which he gently guided, perhaps pushed, the stunned Lisa towards the table. Russell stood up slowly, perhaps still not fully aware of the event in which he had participated. Lisa collapsed rather than sat on the chair. Jared took an envelope out of his pocket and placed it on the table. "Lisa, the contents of this envelope will provide the happiness you deserve." Then, turning to Russell, I said, "I trust Lisa's well-being to you. Don't let me down. I'll leave Lisa's overnight bag at the entrance. Good luck with that." Jared quickly turned around before his tears became visible and walked away.
On February 15, Jared woke up without Lisa by his side. After leaving the restaurant, he returned to the car and brought back Lisa's overnight bag. When he walked in, he saw Russell and Lisa holding hands at the table and looking like real lovers. He returned home and sat quietly in his chair. Maybe Lisa will return home unexpectedly or call, but the door never opened, and there was no call from Lisa. The only call came from Lisa's mom, who wanted to find out what happened and then console him. She was crying about the event. Jared asked her to organize. Lisa's mom praised Jared for his love for his daughter, asked him to stay in touch, and assured him that she would protect him if anyone asked why Lisa left him. Jared's brain was still a mess. He already missed her, her sweet smile, laughter, just talking. In fact, Jared seemed to desire Lisa even more, which is understandable since the most intense longings are often for objects we cannot have. "That's enough," his brain told him. "She has gone to a better world. Accept it and move on." Jared wasn't going to be sad or cry, cry, or throw up. He was not a weakling, and a man should look forward. He remembered the lines from Emily Dickinson's poem: "A parting is all we know about heaven and everything we need to know about hell."
Lisa was in a trance when Jared directed her to Russell, sitting at a table for two. Suddenly, she found herself sitting on a chair. Jared handed her the envelope, wished Russell luck, turned his back, and walked away. Completely stunned, she opened the envelope and saw the executed divorce petition with a short note: "The last gift to my beloved. Thank you for the wonderful years that I will always keep in my heart." A minute of silence passed as they looked at each other. Lisa imagined herself in an episode of The Twilight Zone. She began to tremble, but Russell took her hands in his. "I've been thinking about you since you broke up with me," he said quietly. "I never dreamed that this would happen, but here we are, together. Together again, and forever." Russell then explained the little bit he had learned from Lisa's mother, but the bottom line was that Jared willingly gave up Lisa in favor of Russell so they could pursue their dreams. Lisa wanted to talk to Jared. She wanted to thank him and tell him what a wonderful person he was, apologize for everything. Collecting her thoughts, she rushed outside to catch up with Jared before he drove off, but it was too late. His car had already left. Disappointed that she didn't catch Jared in time, Lisa decided she could talk to Jared later, but for now, she returned to the table to enjoy the start of her new life with the man Lisa had always considered her true love. Her passion for Russell soon overtook her thoughts of Jared. Their first kiss at the table was short but intimate. They were finally together. Before dinner ended, Russell and Lisa were discussing how long the divorce would take so they could set a date for their wedding. After dinner, Russell took Lisa to his house. As soon as they crossed the threshold, they kissed passionately before Russell led Lisa into his bedroom. Lisa slowly undressed, dropping the dress that was intended for Jared to the floor. Lisa was trembling with anticipation. It was something she wanted and perhaps needed, and as she thought about her and Russell having sex, she had the satisfaction of knowing that she was right not to trust herself to be alone with Russell, but it wasn't cheating now because Jared had put her here for that purpose.
The break gave Lisa the opportunity to reflect on her luck. Lisa did not cheat, but still felt like a woman. She was still married, but tonight she was enjoying herself in bed with another man other than her husband. Even though this was her husband's action, she still felt strange. Another man was in her bed. It was fantastic and exactly what Lisa wanted. "Yes," the thought. "Lisa, my husband loved me so much that he sacrificed himself for my happiness." But then Lisa began to worry. "Who is Jared with now? Or is he alone at home, and is everything okay with him? Is he suffering?" Her happiness suddenly seemed less important. Lisa herself couldn't understand why, but being grateful for the best sex of her life, her thoughts were now not about Russell where biology and brain should have been, but about Jared. Before Lisa could come to any conclusion from her thoughts, Russell returned, and they hugged and kissed, but no more words were spoken other than "That was great," and "You were great." There were no pillow talks about feelings and life like there would have been with Jared. Russell quickly fell asleep, but Lisa could not. She must have been on cloud nine, and the sex was divine. However, Lisa's body was still not in place. Everything happened so quickly. One minute she was getting dressed up for Jared, and a few hours later, she was getting naked for Russell and enjoying great sex with him. She was ecstatic and satisfied while she tried to concentrate on her future with Russell, but she still felt like something was wrong. Jared's actions overwhelmed Lisa's thoughts. "What made Jared sacrifice himself and give me the freedom to be with Russell? I dreamed about it, but I never asked for it." Lisa's mind was full of internal debate between two parts of her consciousness. "What have you done?" she thought, still trying to understand how this Valentine's Day had changed her life. "You feel guilty, girl, because you're a cheater." But the other part of Lisa's brain responded, "I'm not guilty, and I'm not a traitor because Jared arranged this." Then she thought, "How can you not be guilty if Jared only did this because he found out about your passion for Russell? You are guilty, and you cheated, at least emotionally." Lisa was still wondering how Jared was feeling. "He shouldn't be alone on a day like this, but he will be alone because he is a good person and will not want to burden others with his sadness. Maybe he went to his brother. Oh my god, do I have Natalie's phone number? I should call her and make sure they get in touch with Jared if he doesn't get in touch himself. Jared was such a good person that he shouldn't have been alone when he must have been suffering even worse." Lisa's subconscious was remembering how she made love to Jared. Lisa's brain synapses replayed memories of Jared and compared him to Russell. Lisa tried to banish thoughts of Jared and think only of Russell, but it was a losing battle. Lisa was clearly thinking about how much Jared loved her. Russell had given her better sex that first night than Jared had ever had, but still, Lisa's brain was reproducing Jared's body heat. Lisa, in her conscious state, decided that she was simply used to Jared. Russell was her life now, and she was sure that it might take one more day with Russell to forever leave Jared as a sweet but distant memory of the wonderful man who had helped her in her previous life. "Russell," Lisa tried to convince herself, "was now her true husband." These thoughts continued to play in her mind until fatigue finally overcame her mind, and she fell asleep.
When Lisa woke up on Saturday morning, Lisa's first thought was that there was a stranger in her bed. "Where's Jared?" she remembered. Then she remembered, "Of course, he's the love of my life, Russell." But as she reached for him, the rays of the morning sun met the diamond on her engagement ring and reflected off the gold of her wedding ring. Lisa froze. Her thoughts about last night resurfaced. Her other brain reminded her, "Remember how people asked how he could afford such an amazing ring?" And then the other brain remembered Jared's answer: "The price is nothing compared to the joy of seeing you in his arms for the rest of his life." She tried to take them off, but couldn't, so she rushed to the bathroom to use soap to remove the rings from her fingers. "These rings are so beautiful, just like our marriage." Lisa carefully placed the rings in her purse and made a mental note that she needed to return the rings to Jared and ask him to find someone who deserved them more than her. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Russell waking up. "Jared will have to wait." Lisa had to make up for the years of Russell's absence.
Jared also woke up this Saturday morning without Lisa by his side. Lisa didn't come and didn't call. Jared grabbed the yogurt and then drove to his office, which was empty on a Saturday. Jared needed solitude. The combination of solitude in the office and monotonous research helped to avoid thoughts about his changed life. He called his brother and invited himself to dinner that evening. He had a good relationship with his brother, mother, and his wife Natalie. She was smart and successful in her profession, but also arrogant. Many, including her family, considered her rude and difficult to get along with, but Natalie got along with her son-in-law, and she and Lisa accepted each other like sisters, although they were not close friends. Jared told his brother and Natalie what happened. They listened to him and said all the expected phrases. Natalie challenged Jared for letting her go to Russell so quickly and not fighting for Lisa if he loved her so much. "What do you think is going on in Lisa's head right now, dear son-in-law?" Natalie asked and then answered her own question. "I imagine that she feels that you abandoned her. If I were in her place, I would be hurt." Jared understood Natalie's point, but it was done. "If Lisa is in pain, she will soon get over it because it was meant to end this way. She will eventually relegate me to a distant memory, hopefully a pleasant one." They talked a little more before Jared headed home to spend another quiet night in the empty house.
On Sunday morning, Jared picked up the Sunday newspaper. Lisa and he always enjoyed Sunday mornings with a cup of coffee, a bagel, or a muffin, sitting next to each other and doing the crossword puzzle in the newspaper. He tried to do the same alone, but the coffee seemed bitter. He didn't buy bagels or cupcakes because there was no one he could share them with. Solving a crossword puzzle was no longer fun without the jokes and touches that accompanied solving the riddles. His feelings were a mess, but there was a feeling of completeness and completeness. Lisa was ready to sacrifice her happiness with Russell so as not to betray him. She gave up Russell for him, even though it was clear that she loved Russell, not him. The right thing to do would be for Jared to respond in kind. He was sure that he had done the right thing.
After attending a church service, Jared went for a long run, leaving his cell phone at home. Returning, he saw a missed call and a voice message from Lisa. Her message surprised him. "Are you hiding from me? Pick up the phone, you coward! How could you leave your wife like that? I was a good wife, and you had no right to throw me out. I'm not your thing to be passed between you and Russell. I'm not stupid. You just want to be with someone else. Go find someone. I don't care because she will never love you like I did. You are not a real man. Live your damn life, and I am no more. I never want to see your pathetic face. Do you hear me, you worthless person? Go to hell!" Jared could hear Lisa crying on the other end of the line before she ended the call. He sat up and stared at the phone, thinking, "What the hell happened? What did I do wrong? What did she mean when she said no one would love him the way Lisa did?" Lisa never said that. "Loves me?" Jared considered calling back but decided to let the situation cool down and message her later to set up a meeting to talk. He showered and then did the laundry to make sure all of Lisa's things were clean and folded and in her closet so she could pick them up when she came to get her things.
The phone rang again, and it was Lisa's mom. "Jared, Russell brought Lisa here. Please come." Lisa really came to her mother to collect the pieces of her shattered life. After Lisa got out of bed and showered on Saturday morning, she and Russell had a late breakfast and went for a walk in the local woods, which was their favorite activity that Lisa also enjoyed with Jared. Russell and Lisa were holding hands and talking. It was normal, but conversations didn't go as smoothly as when she was hanging out with Jared. They both seemed to feel the need to say something, something to break the two long silences. During these pauses, Lisa began to think about Jared again. In her mind, holding Russell's hand, she plotted the conversation she could have with Jared if he were here. As they passed a rock covered in lichen, to make conversation, Lisa pointed to the rock and commented, "I always like to see the strange things nature does." Russell looked and replied, "Yes, it's really beautiful. It's moss." "It's not moss, it's lichen. Who cares? They're all just plants." Lisa didn't answer, but she remembered a conversation with Jared when she also pointed out a rock like this. "Jared, look at that beautiful lichen on the rocks! I like those plants." "Mosses are plants. Lichens are not plants, but a symbiosis of fungi and algae that live together. The algae cells provide food for the fungi, and the fungi protect the algae from drying out and being damaged by the sun," Jared explained. "Jared is so smart," Lisa thought. "It's always interesting to be with him because he knows so much." She remembered the saying, "Live in the present and make it so beautiful that it is worth remembering." But the present still included Jared. "I need to talk to Jared, but what can I say? Will I tell him that I miss him? That I think about us making love? No, this can't be right. I'm with Russell, the man I've always loved."
After the hike, the couple ended up in a pub over a couple of beers. They talked about Jared and his unilateral decision to let them have the life they wanted together. Lisa opined that Jared's action was typical of him at his best. Russell's answer hit Lisa like a board to the head. "If Jared loved you so much, why wasn't he man enough to fight for you?" Now Lisa had another thought, darkening her mind even more. Why did Jared give up so quickly and not fight for her? Her mind was confused as her brain jumped between conflicting thoughts. "Jared loved me so much that he offered himself as a sacrifice for my happiness, and if Jared really loved me, he would never let me go. And if he didn't let me go because he loved me, that would prove that he doesn't love me because he would leave me unhappy. And I wonder how Jared spends his time, what he did yesterday, what he does today. Is he suffering, or is he feeling good?"
Lisa prepared dinner. Lisa noticed that Jared knew his way around the kitchen, and they often cooked together. She didn't know if Russell knew how to do anything because he never offered to help in the kitchen. After dinner, they made love again. Lisa wanted to confirm that she belonged to Russell. They kissed. She still couldn't help but think about Jared. She was confused by her feelings. She should have been delighted. She was supposed to be with Russell. She had always loved Russell, and it was only her stupidity that led to their separation. But then why was she so stuck on Jared and how happy and fulfilled he made her? Lisa opened her eyes and stared into Russell's eyes, trying to banish images of Jared. She began to think about her future life with Russell. "We will have a blissful marriage. We'll have a family, and Russell will be just as good a father as Jared was." Lisa's eyes widened. "Wait, did I see Russell as a father figure, just like Jared?" As she continued to tell herself that she should be with Russell, Lisa tried to remember all the ways that Russell was better than Jared and why she should choose Russell. But when Lisa thought about it, she couldn't find anything that made Russell better than what they had in bed, but these gave her instant gratification but ultimately less satisfaction and happiness than she experienced with Jared. Somehow, Jared kept interfering with Lisa's attempts to convince herself that she loved Russell. Lisa also remembered that she never thought about Russell when she made love to Jared, but Jared became a permanent fixture in her thoughts when she was with Russell, and he never left. That night, Lisa dreamed not about Russell, but about Jared. These were vivid dreams of Jared making love to her in their bed and then being surrounded by hundreds of people cheering for them.
Lisa's thoughts then went back to how Jared was feeling. "Jared must have suffered, perhaps even physically, after he took her to the restaurant. I had caused that pain, and now Lisa is suffering from the thought that she was the cause of Jared's pain." Reality collided with fantasy, and fantasy lost, and badly. However, she was with Russell, and when Russell woke up, they were having sex again, but Lisa didn't feel anything anymore. She had no desire to hug Russell or wrap her legs around his torso. She was no longer making love to Russell but was just a sex object, and she felt not real. Russell went to take a shower. He didn't suggest they shower together, which Jared would have done. In fact, Jared would help her with her hair and wash her body, kissing the back of her head tenderly. Lisa went down to the kitchen. She was disappointed. "Why didn't Jared make coffee like he always did? Oh yeah, he's not here." Then, doubling her disappointment, Lisa remembered that Jared hadn't brought bagels or cupcakes. After she made coffee, she went outside but did not see the Sunday newspaper in the entrance. She was angry about not having a newspaper and therefore no crossword puzzle, but then Lisa remembered that she didn't have Jared to do the crossword puzzle with. She loved the Sunday mornings when they would faithfully open the newspaper to the crossword puzzle page and enjoy the loving banter as they solved the puzzle together, and then they went to church together to give thanks for the blessings that were in their lives. "Now I can't go to our church. I can't shame Jared like that. I'll have to find another church where no one knows me and no one knows what I did to my husband." More and more, the life that Lisa enjoyed was crumbling around her. Sitting with her coffee, Lisa could no longer avoid the inevitable conclusion. She missed Jared like she never missed Russell. She wanted to be with Jared, not Russell. She constantly thought about how better life was with Jared compared to Russell. Russell was a monstrous delusion of her own making, and the first person she lied to was herself.
Lisa's brain was working at its limit. Lisa knew her relationship with Russell was over. It wasn't even a difficult decision, as she later explained to her mother. "If you think of my time with Russell as a movie, my mind was on fast forward, doubling over and over again. I lived my whole life in a few hours." So why was she at Russell's house and not the house she shared with Jared? Lisa's troubled mind formed the answer that Jared had rejected her. Did he love her? If he had loved her, he would not have sent her away. But he even put things in the bag for the night and delivered her to Russell at the restaurant where she was going to show off her outfit to Jared, not to Russell. Moreover, Russell was already there in the restaurant. So, Jared and Russell made a deal between old friends to have Jared give her to Russell without her consent. They turned her into a piece of property. Will Russell have to give it back to Jared when he gets tired of it? Lisa was now raging internally. Jared had no right to decide who she loved or who she wanted to be with. She was not a piece of meat to be passed between men. Russell was not her lover who honestly won Lisa, but was a gift from Jared. How dare Jared make those decisions for her! All Lisa could think about was that Jared would now go and make another, more deserving woman happy. The idea began to form in Lisa's mind that Jared had not sacrificed himself for her, but rather had freed himself to find another woman who would be much more worthy of Jared than she was. But Jared belonged to her, and he had no right to be with another woman. Lisa called home and tried to reach Jared's cell phone, but only received voicemail, so she left a voicemail, which Jared later heard, completely surprised and completely confused.
After expressing everything over the phone, Lisa calmed down and wondered why she called Jared and why she was so angry with her words. Now that she spent time with Russell, Lisa has accepted that Russell was an illusion. She didn't want to spend another night with him. Lisa wanted to go home and be in bed with the man she had just cursed. She saw Jared as unique. His good-natured and kind sacrifice showed how special he truly is. Lisa then got dressed and asked Russell to take her to her mother. Her mother provided details that led to the Valentine's Day dinner and Jared's sacrifice. Lisa, in turn, poured out her feelings to her mother. Lisa explained how Jared had now taken up residence in her head, and what should have been the best weekend of young Lisa's life had turned into a nightmare. Her mother had always loved Jared, so she wasn't entirely surprised by Lisa's doubts. She also understood the real reason Lisa called Jared. She did what mothers do: reminded her that it was Lisa who made the statements that Jared overheard. Lisa stated that she loves Russell and treats Jared as a responsibility. Jared, having overheard the two phone conversations, made the final sacrifice by returning her to the man Lisa had clearly stated she loved and wanted to be with. Her mother encouraged Lisa to accept that she now needed to fight for Jared. Lisa didn't reject Russell when he was proposed to. Lisa chose Russell and spent two nights making love to him. She needed to talk to Jared and try to save her marriage before things got worse. "What makes you think you left such a terrible message for Jared?" Seeing Lisa hesitate, her mother continued, "How did you really feel when you called Jared? Passionate messages like that don't just come out of nowhere." Lisa thought about the question and then answered, "Weirdly enough, I think I was..."
Angry because I was losing Jared, I had a panic attack at the thought of never being with him again. "Not crazy, you were miserable and desperate. But why did you feel such agony over losing Jared?" Lisa stared at her mother as the realization hit her. "I made a terrible mistake, didn't I? I was blind and stupid. I seriously screwed up my life. What now?"
"Talk to him."
"I can't. I'm ashamed."
"It wasn't any wrongdoing. I wanted Russell, and he gave him to me. Mom, I don't know what to do." After a moment of silence, Lisa added, "He loves you. Mom, can you talk to him, please?"
"I'll talk to him, but only to invite him here. After that, it's all up to you." Then she called Jared.
When Jared arrived at Lisa's mother's house, Lisa was sitting on the couch, looking miserable and scared. Jared took the chair opposite Lisa. Lisa's mother left, saying she needed to go for a walk. Several minutes passed in silence before either of them could say anything.
Lisa then stood up and knelt in front of Jared, spreading his knees apart as she placed her hands on his hips. Raising her head, she stared into his eyes. She rehearsed what she wanted to say, but her trembling mouth could not form the words. Jared saw her suffering but also noticed that her rings were missing. Not knowing what to say, he muttered, "You look good, Lisa. Maybe a little different than the last time I saw you."
"In that beautiful dress," he said, before realizing why. "Yes, a little different. But no one will ever see that dress, or anything else I wore on Friday, again. I threw away all those clothes. I bought those things for you, but then I wore them for another man, and now I'm even. I can't look at them, let alone wear any of them."
"Why did you do that, Lisa?"
"I knew when we left our house, even if you didn't know, that you would be wearing and taking off your outfit for Russell. I accepted it, and you didn't do anything wrong. I did something bad, and that's why I'm here." Lisa was now trying to remember the words she had formed in her mind earlier that day.
"It is impossible for me to fully understand the depth of love you showed for me this Valentine's Day, but this weekend was an awakening. No, my dear husband, that I love only you. I made a terrible mistake. I thought I was in love with Russell, but it was a ghost that I began to consider real because of our history and how we broke up. I was still living in the past. I didn't love Russell, but had a naive crush that turned into some kind of ideal that wasn't really true. Existed, but you are reality. You were with me all this weekend. You showed me that Russell was an illusion. Your Valentine's Day gift not only cemented your commitment to me forever, but being with Russell only cleared my mind and made me realize how much you mean to me and how much I want to be with you and only you. Russell's demon is forever banished, and the thought of another man pushes me away. Please forgive me."
"What message did you leave me on voicemail a few hours ago?"
"I really regret what I said. I didn't mean any of those things. Love and hate are just two sides of the same coin. I was angry because I felt like you abandoned me, that you didn't fight for me, for us. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, and my mind twisted your sacrifice into betrayal. I began to imagine that you wanted to get rid of me, to be with another woman. I became angry because in my imagination you were abandoning me. And providing I was hurt and I was jealous. I wanted you, but you weren't there. And what you heard was my cry because I thought I lost you. This fear is a terrible feeling. I didn't fight because I thought I had already fought for your love and lost it. It's crazy to do the same thing expecting a different result, and I hoped I wasn't going crazy. Fighting a losing battle can only bring more pain. I gave you the last of my love. I thought I clearly heard you say that you were staying with me out of obligation, and I couldn't live like that."
"I know, darling, and I understand. I can't say enough about how sorry I am for what I thought and what I said. I now understand that it was all my fault and my fault alone. You heard my phone conversations, and I'm so sorry you heard that."
"Lisa, you told Russell and your mother that you were staying with me out of duty or pity, and I couldn't live like that. I know you heard it, but in my heart, I now know that it was not my duty as a wife that stopped me from cheating or divorce, but my desire to be your loving and faithful wife. If I did not realize or say this before, darling, I love and adore you. Even if I'm bored, I'm sorry I said life with you was boring. It's not. It's predictable and repetitive, but it's predictable because we plan it that way, and it's repetitive because we like it. I liked our boring life. I'm ready to try anything you want if we do it together. The only thing I ask of you is that you love me the same way you showed your love this weekend. I want to be one with you."
Jared put his arm around Lisa's shoulders, and together they moved to sit next to each other on the couch. Jared still had some images in his head, and nothing could be worse than what he imagined, so he decided to face his worst ideas and hopefully the reality would be better than his imagination. "It's really not a big deal, but did you use a condom with Russell?" he asked, hoping that perhaps Russell and Lisa weren't trusting enough of each other.
Lisa looked down before raising her head again. "It was meant to be with him forever. I'm sorry for the extra pain it brings, but I have to be honest with you. The answer is no. There was no condom." Lisa looked down, afraid to look up and see the pain her honesty must have caused.
"Was it good?"
Lisa began to sob. "Why are you asking this? I'm already suffering, and I don't want to hurt you."
"It will help if I know and don't imagine anything. We need to work things out to complete this."
"I don't know why you need this torture, but if you must know, and I must tell the truth, it was very good." Then, sensing that the truth was hurting Jared, Lisa added, "But it didn't go better than with you, honey. I promise you that. By the end, I was thinking about you and how I held you tight. The best sex is just a bitter memory. It was good at the time, but it didn't stay with me. You are my husband, and we make love. It's mature, and it's real. It stays with me for days afterwards. My memory about Russell, it's not sex, but the painful feeling that I betrayed the only person I love. Being with Russell was exciting and enjoyable, but ultimately it was a disappointment. I never want to experience again the emptiness and pain that was my time without you."
"How did your desire for Russell suddenly turn into such disgust?"
"I was fascinated by Russell. We had great times. I really loved him even after we broke up because I didn't think I could trust him. But now I see that it was young love where only passion matters and excitement. We're older and wiser now. I need and want more from life, and Russell couldn't give it to me. But you..."
"How can you be sure that I am the right person? How can you now say that you love me when you could never say it before, my wonderful husband?"
"I've apologized several times, and I'll say it again. I'm so sorry for what I said and didn't say. You were a wonderful, loving boyfriend and husband. I was foolish to believe I was still in love with Russell, and I think that it created a boundary around my feelings. Russell is now gone, and I am free to see life as it is, and without the restrictions of false love. And what I see is that I always loved you, even if I couldn't. What matters most is that when I thought I lost you this weekend, it hurt, and it hurt even more to think about how I hurt you. I never want to hurt myself or you again. I know that true love is a deep longing to be with someone and no one else, and the need to give you everything I have. And these are the feelings that I have for you, forever."
"Who knows, dear, what may happen? Death is the only certainty. We cannot know our future. We must play the odds. And now the chances of a wonderful life together with our children and then grandchildren are great, and the chances are that anything that would interfere with this is currently virtually non-existent."
"I guess we learned a lot." Jared then smiled and added, "If this weekend ended up bringing you closer to me, then maybe it was worth the gamble."
Lisa smiled. "Russell has now left our marriage. There will never be another man. I will do whatever it takes to make this right with you. Anything, anything."
"Be careful what you say. I was not mistaken. You gave yourself completely to me. I took everything from you, but I only gave what I like to do or what I thought you needed. I didn't realize that I was only hurting myself by not giving completely, but now I realized that I would be much happier giving myself completely to you, just as you gave yourself to me. You can have me anytime, anywhere, and however you want. You always ask me what I want. Now I will ask you and hope that you will tell me your true desires."
Russell thought about his answer as Lisa added, "I also know that I had sex with another man outside of marriage. That's a fact, and it doesn't matter that you brought me to him. So, as you showed your love for me, as my final act of repentance and expression of my devotion to you, I am giving you a permanent pass. I hope you never use it because it will cause me indescribable pain, but you were willing to bear the pain of me being with someone else, and if you decide to accept the pass, I will gladly endure the same pain you experienced. I can't believe anyone could replace you, my dear. I can only hope that your love for me remains strong enough for us to get through this Valentine's Day."
Jared looked into her hopeful eyes. "Damn it, life isn't perfect. Lisa, you matured in a fundamental sense this weekend. He and Lisa were strong and could handle the truth. They did not have to live in the past but could live in the present."
Lisa took out the rings from her purse that she had taken off the day before. "Will you put these rings back on my hand? Will you take me back?"
Jared placed the rings on the fourth finger of Lisa's hand, then cupping Lisa's face, still wet from her tears, in his hands, he stood up, lifting Lisa up with him. He kissed her softly on the lips and took her hand to lead her to the car and home to confirm their marriage. Subscribe to our channel so that your love doesn't cheat on you, and go ahead and listen to the next story because this story is nothing compared to the next one. If you're under 18, don't even think. Click to the next one.