Transcription
Welcome to module 3, attraction rewiring. At this point, we're going to try to actually rewire your brain on how you see attraction happening, and all the techniques that are actually involved in getting real attraction with a girl versus like it's all imaginary. And more, more importantly, like why it actually works.
So, number one, what I want to kind of go over is there's going to be basically four kind of outcomes or four scenarios that are taking place when you want to go approach that pretty girl and you're like hoping for attraction. Either you feel very confident and you're happy about yourself and you're like, "Yeah, this girl wants me." Or you're feeling negative about it, more likely you're feeling like, "Ah, there's no way this girl's going to want me. I'm too short, I'm too fat, she's too hot, she's too blonde," whatever the case might be. And then we've got the girl here, and she does like you, she's into you. And then we have another girl, she's not into you, she's mad, she's like, "No, do do not talk to me." Okay, hopefully we can all agree these are the only four possibilities. You feel one of these two ways, yes, she's into me, no, she's not into me. And the reality is, she is into you or she's not into you. Okay?
So let's talk about the four scenarios that can happen. Scenario number one: You approach the girl and you believe she's into you, and she is into you. What do you think is going to happen? All right, 100% you're going to get this girl, nice and easy, right? Obviously, I think that's pretty much like a given.
Now, the other scenario is you are not confident, you're feeling she's not into you, you are making excuses, whatever the case might be. And obviously, she's looking at you, she goes, "In what world am I not interested in you? I don't care." So, of course, we've got like a 0% chance here. All right, these are the obvious ones.
Now, where the magic happens is when it switches. So let's say this guy approaches a girl. And by the way, if you've ever gone on YouTube and you watched my uh, my course like "How to Handle Indifference," there's a great YouTube video I did years and years ago. Just do uh, Jared, uh, "Ten Commandments of Handling Indifference." You can check that one out. But I talk about this scenario like for an hour, like really in depth. But long story short, only two, one of two things are going to happen here. Either he comes in with a girl that looks at him and goes, "You're not my type. I'm not into you." Uh, she doesn't feel attraction. But because he is confident, because he's keeping his body language good, because he's keeping a playful demeanor, he's not reactive to her, he's not letting her affect him, he actually turns her around and gets her attracted. Or, fair enough, he does everything right, he acts like the man, but for whatever reason, she's not having it. And she goes, "You know what? No, I'm still unattracted." But either way, let's say we give this guy, you know, a 50% chance here. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
What happens here? Okay, this guy is going up to a girl and he's like, "There's no way she's going to find me attractive. This can't work. Um, for sure she's going to be turning me down." But the reality is, she's checking him out and going, "You know what? I am attracted. I'm open. I'm single. I'm looking for a guy." In fact, one of our friends, I was just out with, um, with Anna, and one of her friends was just like, "You know what? I want to go out and I want to meet a guy. I want a guy to hit on me and get with me. And I'm looking for a cool guy." Like, women do this all the time and they talk about this. This is why I really, really urge every guy watching to have female friends. You can kind of see behind the scenes, behind the curtain, on what they're going through. Long story short, what can happen is one of two things. Either he walks up to her and because he's so blah and unconfident and because he's doubting himself, he turns her off. Or, of course, she's just so into him, it doesn't matter what he says, and she's down. So we've got about a 50% chance here.
Okay, uh, classic scenario of this, by the way, is you'll see this guy who's like tall and good-looking. And the girl checks. I've seen this again and again and again. He's just tall, good-looking, you know, mega Chad, or whatever. The girl sees him and goes, "Wow, he's hot. I would definitely want to get with him." And then he opens his mouth and she goes, "I just lost all the attraction. The moment he opens his mouth, I'm just like, 'In what world is this guy so lame? He's so boring, blah, blah, blah.'" You'll see it again and again and again if, if you have female friends.
Okay, so if we look at this guy's stats, just on their belief system alone, this guy has about a 75% chance. This guy has about a 25% chance. Nothing else is different. The reality, how the girls actually feel, this is irrelevant. Just on how they act, this guy is going to have three times more likely success than the guy who thinks that it's not going to happen.
Okay, so when I realized that, I was like, "Well, why not always be this guy?" The greatest seducers I've ever met, the guys who are the absolute savage with women, they have this like delusional confidence about themselves. If a girl doesn't like them, they're like, "Oh, clearly she's a lesbian, or she has got a boyfriend, or she's this, that, or, you know, whatever." Right? They're just like, there's for no rhyme or reason. They're not particularly attractive, they don't make that much money, they're not, you know, whatever. They just go, "Of course she's gonna want me. Why wouldn't she want me?" And that, um, idea of rewiring their brain of how attraction works, kind of is like, I don't want to say manifestation of the secret because it's kind of like woowoo, but that alone is what makes it so powerful because they, it, it becomes like this self-fulfilling prophecy. So that's what I want to put into your head. Okay? But I did the self-fulfilling prophecy here.
Now, here's the real secret of how to rewire a lot of your scenarios and a lot of your situations. Every single one of you watching this, I believe, maybe I'm wrong, but every single one of you watching this goes, "When I walk up to a girl, I have to build attraction. I have to build rapport. I'm coming from here, and she's really hot, she's up here, and I've got to build and impress her and get on her level." Or, if you're into that manipulation, old pickup, you feel like you've got to bring her down and, you know, put her on your level. And it's just all wrong. It's just a wrong way of thinking about it.
So what I want you to reimagine, understand how attraction works, is you need to assume it's all already there. That's where you become more like this guy. The best way to build rapport with someone and make friends with someone is to act as if they're already your friend. Is to be casual, joking, is to just actually take on that mindset of, "Well, we're already good. We're on the same level." When you meet a girl, she's watching subtle cues you do. She's watching like, "Well, are you, you know, looking away first? Are you watching your eye contact? Are you fidgeting with your pen? Do you feel nervous to be around? Do you feel that she's like this goddess or you, whatever the case might be?" Right? When you assume, just walking up to her, and again, for some of you, it'll be like, "Well, it's completely delusional and there's no way. Why would a girl like that be into me?" Again, it doesn't matter. Remember what I just said, the greatest seducers, the greatest guys with women I've ever come across have that delusion. And what happens is they just act as if, like, "Okay, this girl is clearly attracted to me. I just, they just believe it. They just see it. They just go, attracted to them." And then now they start taking naturally actions that build the attraction. Because if it's some, if you feel she's above you, if you feel that you have to impress her and work your way up, all you're signaling to her is that she is above you. And now that means you're not the prize. It means the girl is not, from the girl's perspective, why should she chase after you? Why should she put in work? Why should she be into this guy that feels this need to prove himself to her? It's a very, very common complaint when guys are like trying to brag too much, trying to impress too much, trying to show off how cool they are all the time.
Okay, so that's kind of the rewiring I want a lot of guys to have to get rid of this old, outdated methodology of, "I need to raise my status to meet hers," or "I need to knock her down to mine." Just assume you already have it. To go a little bit more advanced with this, of course, there are things you can do that make this more real versus just like a delusional thing. But now it comes from show, don't tell.
Okay, so for instance, if I'm, uh, telling you, "Oh yeah, I get with models all the time and I hook up with these gorgeous girls and I could talk to any girl, whatever." Maybe you believe me, maybe you don't. But when you see videos or pictures of me surrounded by women, or you're out with me in field, which we have retreats all the time, and guys in our program get to see me in action, every single one of them, it's included in our VIP program, right? All, all of a sudden, magic happens. Seeing is believing. They're like, "Look, I knew you were a good guy, but now that I saw you in field talking to that girl, boom!" They're like, "Okay, clearly I need to listen to what you're saying now because I've been able to see it." Right? Same thing with women. If you're talking about the, the Rolex or whatever, or all how much money you make, it's, it's hurting you more than helping you. Instead, you want to showcase these things such as pre-selection, being around women, having, uh, women come out with you wherever you go. Most, most of you are having wingmen. I, for the, there are exceptions. I don't like having wingmen. I like having wingwomen, specifically. Six, I call them my entourage, like going out with six women I can take with me wherever I go that are attractive and fun. That shows the girl instantly, "Okay, he is attractive because I can see that other women do want him. I can see he's living this high status, high value lifestyle." And that's a whole another thing we get into, and that's something we really go in depth and teach in our VIP program course. We actually, instead of faking it and pretending to be something, we actually get you living this lifestyle. For, for instance, I could talk about, um, Evan, for example. This guy was all he did all day was play Dungeons and Dragons and just did like ComiCon conventions. Now, every time I see this guy, he's posting stories on his Instagram surrounded by women, having mega parties going on, two dates a week, etc., etc. But it's not because he's just pretending all this, he's actually living this.
So, step one, assume you're this guy from the get-go because the mindset leads to the actions, and then you're going to start living that lifestyle where the girls can respect it and see it. But even if you're not there yet, it's okay. You just have to rewire this belief that you have to knock a girl down or you have to impress her and try to like prove to her you're this really cool guy. She's going to see that from your micro-expressions and the small things you're doing, um, in every interaction you're with, whether you're first meeting her, whether you're texting her, or whether you're just going on the date.
All right, so now that we understand how the, kind of like, the attraction works, and we understand we want to be this guy who's confidence, which again, in the previous module, we talked about it, that's only going to really come from competence. Now, let's go into how to build those natural, genuine connections.