Transcription
My parents immigrated to the United States of America in 1976. Both of them were born during the Korean War and, uh, had escaped, actually, North Korea before the nation was split in half and fled south. And, uh, when they were 24, 25 years old, amazing. They were coming to America for future opportunities and education. They didn't have any money. So they flew with 30 Korean orphans with two trunks of clothing. Yeah, just in this pursuit of what we would know as the American dream.
And even though they had, uh, come from a family of faith and generations of faith that were saved in the Pyongyang revival in 1907 and from foreign missionaries that came in the late 1800s and early 1900s, um, their personal faith wasn't fully activated. And it wasn't until 1982, when my dad was getting his master's degree at Mississippi State University, that they found out that, uh, my mom was pregnant with myself and my twin sister.
And, uh, we were, while we were in the womb, uh, found out that we were going to be born 3 months early. So, 12 weeks premature. Uh, the doctor sat my parents down and said, "Hey, there's very, very, very little chance that actually your, uh, twins are going to survive." And it was in this moment of desperation, you know, that my parents' faith got activated. There's nothing like crisis that helps us remember our humanity and remember that something probably vigorous is going on. So they did what many people do: start to cry out to God. Uh, my grandmother, my mom's mom, actually flew in, who was a strong prayer warrior. And I'm so grateful for her life because she came, uh, right after we were born, when we were in incubators for a few months and had survived. She would come and she would hold my sister and I and do three days of Esther fasting, which is no food and no water for three days at a time. And she would just hold us and pray for our destiny in God, pray for our healing.
A funny story is when I was 12 years old, I got to meet the doctor who actually delivered my sister and I. And he was like, "Oh my gosh, you're alive!" Like he was surprised that we had survived. And in that moment, my parents were able to testify right away that they are products of prayer, that prayer actually works. So it was in this kind of moment of crisis and miracle that my parents' faith was reactivated, where it became authentic, genuine. They had a vibrant and personal relationship with Jesus. They had been a part of starting a small house church in North Carolina. And through the Holy Spirit and through miraculous things starting to happen through these five or six immigrant Korean families, the church started to grow rapidly, uh, to 300, 400, 500 people.
And it was during that time—probably I had been growing up in church—but around the age of 12 or 13 years old, I started having more questions about faith. I think, you know, when you're a teenager, you start to ask more questions. Why is there so much evil in the world if God is so good? Like, what really happens after you die? Like, how come like bad people prosper and it seems like good people are having a difficult time? I started seeing hypocrisy even in some members of the church and just all the flood of these things. Uh, some areas where even I had been abused by a church member before and even, uh, growing up as an immigrant and experiencing racism. There was just pain, and in my pain, trying to process really what life is. And, you know, everyone engages differently with that pain, but mine manifested itself through rebellion.
And from the age of 12 to about 22 years old, for 10 years, my heart really started to wander from the Lord. And at the height of my rebellion, I was selling drugs, making about $30,000 a month doing that, selling guns, fake tax forms, stolen cars, stolen TVs, all kinds of stuff, anything to make money. There was one moment in that 10-year span of time where, uh, I had actually come back to know Jesus. I was 17 years old and not come back to know Jesus, but I was, um, um, pursuing him because I had gotten in trouble. I might be getting in some criminal, uh, um, like charges and even be tried as an adult. So at 17 years old, in that 10-year span of time, like I kind of pursued church again, you know, in another time of desperation and crisis. But actually, um, as I got closer to this youth pastor, I realized that he was a big talker, you know, like he was all about being godly in the front. But the closer I got to his life, he was living completely in sin, completely, huh, hypocritical. Like I remember staying at his house for a number of days; he would have stacks of pornography in his home and actually had tried to make a move on a young teenage girl in our youth group. And it was in that moment I was like, "Man, this wounding, this is horrible. Like, how could people call themselves Christian? How could they call themselves spiritual leaders?" And so really from 17 to 22 is when I really went off the deep end.
And it was at a time when I was about 22 years old, you know, I would say, um, now, like I was a secular humanist. You know, uh, you know, most people who are secular humanists, they have all their decisions revolve around themselves. They would never call themselves God, but all their decisions revolve around feeding themselves, their own comfort, their own benefits, and really where that is their ultimate goal. And for me, like I would say that's where I was, kind of denied the existence of God, you know, respected my parents' authentic, uh, you know, pursuit after Jesus, but didn't quite have a framework for any of those things. And was kind of like organized religion, all these things, man, they've just wounded so many people throughout history. Why would I ever want something to do with that? And so this is the state of where I was just living for myself, addicted to pornography, womanizing, addicted to all kinds of substances, making all kinds of money. Didn't really care where my life was going. Like purposeful in the sense of gaining more money, filled with zero purpose when it came to really, where's my life headed. But it didn't really matter at the time because I was just living day at a time, right?
And when I was 22 years old, my dad went to a missions conference in Chicago, Illinois, at a university called Wheaton College. And while he was there, um, he heard a man named Loren Cunningham, who's the founder of Youth With A Mission, the missions organization I'm a part of now, and the University of the Nations where we're filming right now. And there he heard this man sharing about this global youth missions movement that was affecting every nation on earth where young people were hearing God's voice, living for a passion for Jesus and a purpose for the nations. And there, as he heard about the university, he got this idea. He's like, "I'm going to go back home. I'm going to suggest to my son to attend this university in Hawaii and let's see what he says." So he gets back from this trip in Chicago and he comes to me. I wasn't living at home at the time. He's like, "Hey, you should consider going to this university in Hawaii." And I was like, "Why? Why would I ever leave where I'm living right now and go to Hawaii?" And he's like, "Think about it. Uh, you know, it's like beaches in January. You know, it's going to be so warm you could avoid the wintertime." And I was like, "What? Why would I ever go there?" And I think he was throwing a Hail Mary because he's like, "I have—he has no spirit to really appeal to. So, I'm going to appeal to his like carnality or maybe his flesh." He's like, "Hey, think about some of the girls in bikinis that are there." You know, and I was like, "What? What is going on? This is such an odd conversation." So, he planted that seed. I didn't think anything of it for a couple of weeks and then got into some serious trouble where I was living. And this thought came to my mind: I need to lay low. I should get away for a little bit. Huh. A good place to do that would be Hawaii. Let me go there. I heard they got the best weed in the world. Right. At the time, I think there was this thing called the Cannabis Cup. This is where they would like rate the different weed around the world. And they had won some kind of award. So I was like, "Hey, I heard Hawaii's got some great weed. Let's just go there, relax, six months, party, and then I'll come back when all like the heat and all the stuff dies down." So I came back to my dad. I was like, "Hey, I think this is what I'm going to do. I think I'm going to go to that university thing that you're talking about." He's like, "Okay, great, great, great, great." He was so excited. I didn't know it was Christian. Didn't know it was missionary training. All I knew was Hawaii in the wintertime. So I got on my flight. I flew through Santa Ana, California, where my layover was. I drank so much at the bar because I had like a four or five hour layover or whatever. And then I showed up here in Kona, Hawaii, like quite drunk. And then I saw a guy holding a sign that says University of the Nations, Kona, right? So I went up to that guy. I was like, "I guess you're my ride." You know, he's just smiling, you know, and, uh, so welcoming. Doesn't say anything about the smell of alcohol in my breath, puts me in this van and then takes me to this campus that we're on right now filming. And so I go to bed.
The next morning I wake up and I go to our orientation. And as I walk in there, surrounded by people from all over the world, I think at the time maybe 50 or 60 nations represented amongst our student body. I sit down and I begin to hear this woman named Darlene Cunningham, who's the co-founder of YWAM, begin to share about the life of King David. And I'm like, "Whoa, where am I right now?" And about five minutes in, I realized this place is like super Christian, right? It's not even like, you know, some universities have like a Christian title, but like this is like super Christian. And then I thought to myself, "I can't believe this. You know, I'm pretty street smart. I've avoided all kinds of danger in my life. But my dad got me. Like he got me." I mean, so in the middle of orientation, I get up, I cruise into town, and I'm just thinking about why am I here in Hawaii? Do I need to go back home? I was like, "You know what? I'm going to take advantage of my time out here. I'm just going to chill." I end up skipping all my classes and just party all day, every day in town, just kind of living my best Hawaii life, going to the beaches, doing everything. But as I'm living this life, I can feel some kind of tension growing in my heart. I don't know if it's the spiritual atmosphere of the campus that I'm staying on or it's all the authentic young, genuine, fiery people I was meeting. They were speaking about Jesus in a way that I had never heard people talk about the Lord before. They were talking about hearing his voice. They were talking about him intimately and personally. I always thought God was kind of like distant, far away, cold, you know, fully removed from humanity, right? But they were speaking so personally and how he was actively moving through their lives. They were talking about signs and wonders and miracles, supernatural things beginning to happen. And when I would look into their eyes, they were filled with life, filled with joy. They had dreams and vision for where they wanted to take their life and how they actually wanted to make a difference. And I had personally never been around anything like that before. So there was something compelling, something beautiful, something attractive, right, about this reality.
So because of that, I said to myself, "God, you know, I grew up in church. I don't know if you're really real, but if you are really real, I want you to speak to me like you're speaking to all of them." And you know, the Bible says really clearly, "Do not put the Lord your God to the test." But Psalm 103 also says that he is gracious and compassionate, that he is slow to anger, rich in mercy and abounding in love, that he does not treat us as our sin deserves, but as far as the east is from the west, that's how far he's taken our sin, our transgressions from us. And just thinking about how good he's been to me over all these years. Not just in a salvation moment, but over 20 years of following him in my weakness, in my brokenness, he's been a way better leader than I've ever been a follower. He's more committed to the plans he's had in my life than I am to finding it. His ability to draw near to me is greater than my ability to draw near to him. He's been consistent when I've been inconsistent. He's been strong when I've been weak. He has been faithful even when my faith has been wavering. And he's just been so, so, so good. And so I put God to the test and I said, "God, if you're really real and all these people are talking about you this way, I want you to speak to me like you're speaking to them."
Go to bed that night. I wake up the next morning and I have a Bible verse reference in my mind. And I had grown up in church, but never really read the Bible before. Maybe heard a few Bible stories. Only time I really had exposure to the Bible was when I got kicked out of school the second time in high school and my dad made me write the book of Proverbs. I don't think that would make anyone fall more in love with the Bible. But, you know, it's like a very Korean-like punishment, right? So, I remember writing the book of Proverbs. That's probably the only exposure that I've had to like really engaging the word of God. And so, I woke up with this Bible verse reference in my mind and it was Ezekiel 36:26. So, I look it up. I find a Bible in the room. I look it up. It says, "I will give you a new heart and I will put a new spirit in you. I will remove from you a heart of stone and I will give you a heart of flesh." So, when I read this, didn't know what to think about. And honestly, I thought I had a pretty good heart because I bought everyone at the bar beer last night. You know, like, you know, we always justify. We're like, "Well, I'm not that bad. I'm not a serial killer. Like, I'm selling some drugs here and there, but you know what? Like, I'm like generous, or you know, like I'm like I treated this person nicely, you know, or whatever it might be." We all have a tendency to justify that we don't actually need a savior. But every single person has fallen short of the glory of God. And we are all desperately in need of a savior to save us from our sin. So I got this verse, Ezekiel 36:26. "I will give you a new heart. I will put a new spirit in you. I will remove from you a heart of stone and I'll give you a heart of flesh." I didn't know what to really make of it. Read it. Okay, great. And later that day, I was walking back to my room. And I remember bumping into my neighbor. His name is Jeff Reed. And he was a single dad. He had just been saved and delivered out of a deep drug addiction to meth. And he was just always so filled with life. And, uh, when I was walking past him and I bumped into him on my way to my room, I was just admiring his ink. He was covered in tattoos. And on his shoulder, I was looking closely because he had a tattoo of a heart. And that heart had stones falling off of the bottom. And inside of the heart, it said Ezekiel 36:26. So I was like, "Oh, that's crazy. That's the same verse" that was like in my brain this morning. Didn't know what to think of it. Just thought it was a coincidence. We ended up just chopping it up, talking for a few minutes.
Later that night, uh, a staff member comes to me, a guy named Bill Effinger. He was 73, 74 years old. And, uh, he pulls me aside. He's like, "Son, no, we've been praying for you. We've been fasting for you because God wants you to know that he has a plan for your life. He wants to use you in a mighty way." And I was like, "Man, you know, listening to him, I was like, really? Prayer? My mom does that?" I remember walking home in my teenage years, sneaking back into the house, seeing the little light on underneath her door and her crying for my salvation and like praying that I'll return to Jesus. And I was thinking like, "Prayer, does that really work? Like you're like in a room talking to an invisible God and you think somehow it's going to make some kind of real change." But man, he had such conviction in his eyes. He was so believed what he was saying. He's like, "Yes, we've been praying for you." And he's like, "God loves you," and he spoke to me about you because he loves you." And I was like, "Oh, really? What did he say?" He goes, "Ezekiel 36:26." Do you know what it says? And I was like, "Huh?" He goes, "He wants to give you a new heart. He wants to put a new spirit in you. He wants to remove from you a heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And can I pray for you?" So, I was just standing there receiving prayer. I was like, "What in the world?" He stops. He shares with me his testimony. He got saved a bit later in his 40s. He came from a similar background as myself, you know, and, uh, so relatable, and I could not believe that this was the same verse. So that night I go back to my room and I'm pondering, but still it's kind of feels like a coincidence, you know? I would say my heart was still super hard but like curious. And so again that night I said, "God, if you're really real, I want you to speak to me like you're speaking to all these people."
And so again, the next morning I wake up and I have another Bible verse reference in my mind. It's Galatians 2:20. So I look it up. It says, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but it's Christ who lives in me. The life I live in this body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me." So I read it, didn't know what to think of it all, but curious. And again, walking around later that day, headed back to my room, and I bump into Jeff Reed again, my neighbor who's covered in tattoos. And as we're talking a bit, I look on his forearm, and he has a tattoo of a tombstone with vines growing around it. And on the tombstone is written Galatians 2:20. So, I'm like, "This is wild." Like, I can't believe this. This is crazy, right? I was like, "This dude probably got the whole Bible tattooed on his body, right? Like maybe like Mark or the Gospel of Matthew like written on his chest. Who knows, right?" And so I was like, "This is so bizarre." Like, "How is this happening?" So, as I'm thinking more and more this coincidence again that night, another staff member comes to me, a guy named Matt Hol, who had probably been praying with Bill Effinger for me and maybe some of the other, uh, problematic students or ones, you know, that they just had a heart to pursue. And Matt pulls me aside and he says, "Hey, Sono, we've been praying for you, fasting even," and man, with such sincere eyes, "God loves you so much and I believe the Lord has a word for me to give to you." And he said, "It's Galatians 2:20." And I'm like, "What? This is wild." You know, I probably did too many drugs. So immediately my mind's thinking like conspiracy theory, right? Like they're all like conspiring against me, trying to manipulate the situation, you know what I mean, to like draw me into this faith. But there was something so sincere when I looked into his eyes and I knew that it was real. So again that night I'm like, "God, this this feels real, but I don't know if you're really real. Will you please keep speaking to me?"
So again, the next morning I wake up and I have another Bible verse reference in my mind. Psalm 46:10. So I find it. It says, "Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations and I will be exalted in all the earth." So again, walking around that day and I remember opening up my computer and I have a twin sister, like I was sharing earlier, you know, she is really educated. She went to Yale on a full scholarship, you know, and she was working in Milan as a designer and as she was designing and working super hard. She wrote me this long email and never referred to the Bible. I was saying from the womb until now, right? Hardly has ever referred to the scripture. But in this email, she was saying, "Son, I've been so busy." And you know what? In my busyness, I feel God is just telling me Psalm 46:10, "I need to be still and just know that he is God. Not to worry about the future, not to worry about tomorrow, but just to be still." And I just felt to her, "Send you this email." So, in this moment, I'm like, "This is too obvious. If it's too coincidental to be a coincidence, it's probably a living God who has a plan for your life, who's the author and the finisher of our faith, who's pursuing you at work." And so I was convinced in that moment and I went to my very first optional class. And I go there. I'm the first one there. I sit down and I'm like nervous, don't know what to think, you know, like I I'm like trying to be sincere, but I'm trying to figure it out and no one there's no handbook for like what's your next step? And as I'm sitting there having these thoughts, I look up at the ceiling of the classroom here at YWAM Kona. And written across the molding of the ceiling is Psalm 46:10 in this beautiful colorful cursive. And I'm like, "What in the world? This is crazy." So I pack up my stuff. I don't even stay for the class, but I pack up my stuff and I walk straight to a place called the Plaza of the Flags, the center of our campus. We have all these flagpoles that are flying flags of nations of students that are here and places that we're doing missions work with a wonderful fountain in the middle. And I remember pacing around there for hours, 'cause the question I asked is, "God, if you are really real, I want you to speak to me like you're speaking to all these people." And now God has shown himself as real. He is now speaking to me through the word of God. And now I am confronted with the reality that he is real. He is speaking. Yet I have no idea who he actually is. And it felt honestly like a moment of crisis. So I'm like thinking, "God, you created trees. You created this animal. They're all created for a unique design. You must have created me and you must have a design for my life. Yet I have no understanding. You must—you have opinions about how we use money, how we do relationships, how we do marriage, how we do parenting, how we—how we are children, what is love, what is evil, what is justice, what is mercy, what are all the diversities all about. Like you must have opinions and thoughts and perspectives and truth around all these things, yet I have no idea what they are." And I was thinking it would be like the equivalent of, you know, Steve Jobs. He created the iPhone. The iPhone is his intellectual property. He created it with very clear intention to upload all kinds of stuff through the iOS to all hold all these different apps, right? And I am God's intellectual property. He has created me, yet I have no idea why I exist. It would be like an iPhone saying, "No, I want to run on an Android operating system." Or an iPhone saying to Steve Jobs, "No, I actually want to be a Tesla." Right? It sounds ridiculous. Yet how
Often, at times, as people do, we not actually go to the Creator as the very source of life, who could actually give us the words of life, the pathways of life, and He knows why He has created us in the first place.
So, in this moment, I'm having a crisis, and I realize I don't know what the meaning of life is at all. So I start to run to the Bible because God was speaking to me through the scripture, and I start tearing through the word of God, reading three, four, five, six, maybe sometimes even eight hours a day. I got ambitious because maybe it's a little bit of my personality. I was like, I'm going to start memorizing the Bible.
But you know what? I'd done so many drugs. Like I would always say I probably have like two brain cells. They're trying to hopefully find each other to repopulate my brain, right? But but I started memorizing the Bible, and it started re-um-generating something on the inside. It started renewing my mind, right? And I got ambitious. I was like, I'm going to memorize the whole Gospel of John because it's a gospel. I looked, there's like 21 chapters. I was like, I'm going to memorize Philippians cuz it was only four chapters, right? And I did. And I just was trying. I was so hungry for the scripture.
I was thinking like Proverbs chapter 2, right? It says, man, to search for wisdom, understanding, or the word like it were a hidden treasure. Imagine if I told you there was a billion dollars right outside. Here's a shovel. First person to dig it up gets the treasure. How vigorously would we shovel for it? We would skip every meal. We would skip every meeting. There would be we would beline straight to that place of the treasure to dig it up. How much more the eternal scripture when everything else fades and passes away, like it says in Isaiah 40, what will remain is the word, right? And Jesus himself who's the word.
And I realized like, man, like I just started searching for God as He were this kind of treasure. And He, it just supernaturally, because I really believe I'm like a product of prayer and a trophy of grace, that really it was supernatural that God would draw me to Himself like that. And it's nothing of my own doing. It's nothing of my own performance or my own earning. I would say it was just God's faithfulness to respond to my mom's prayers, my grandmother's prayers, and His great love for me that when I would just crack open my heart a little bit, He would flood in with His love. So, it was there I started reading the Bible a ton. And this is where I started a bit of my journey. But it wasn't until a couple of months later that I really had my first love encounter and I would say my true salvation moment.
So I was on this journey, and um and I ended up on my first missions trip to a nation called Fiji. And Fiji was going through a historic revival during that time. The prime minister had actually devoted the nation in the spirit of 2 Chronicles 7:14. "If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves, pray, seek my face, turn from their wicked ways, um then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin and heal their land." And so there was a sweeping move of the Holy Spirit that was happening, and we were sending um outreach teams there from YWIM.
And I remember about 2-3 weeks into our missions trip, our team leader, who was actually this guy Bill Effinger, the guy I told you about, the 74-year-old man who had given me that same verse, he was my outreach leader. And I remember one day in our meeting after we were done praying and debriefing the day, he said, "Okay, tomorrow we're going to go to a hospital and we're going to go two by two or three by three. We're going to go room to room to room to room. They've given us access. You're just going to go lay hands on the sick and pray for them. Pray for healing. He's like, 'Some will probably get healed. Some probably won't.' But he's like, 'Just share the love of God with them and see where the conversations go.'" And I was like, "Wait, we're just going to walk up in a hospital and start like praying for people, and you're telling me that some of them are going to get healed through my prayer?" And he and he's like, "Yeah, yeah." I was like, "Uh, okay." It was just so matter-of-fact and it was just so simple, and I didn't I've never seen anything like that before. But I was reading the Bible at the time, and I was like, man, it seems like Jesus is doing that, and not only Jesus, but His disciples are doing that, and not only His disciples, but the church was doing that. So, I guess it's a thing, you know. And I was so new to the whole like Christian missionary deal. I didn't know what to think. So, I'm just like already kind of been just cruising along with the team anyways, you know?
So, uh, three of us go to the hospital, and when we walk in, uh, two of my friends walk into the room first. There's, uh, three beds. One bed here in this corner, one bed in that corner, one bed in this corner. And I'm kind of hiding behind them, you know. And, uh, in the first bed, there was a young man. He was probably 17, 18 years old. And he had hurt both of his kidneys playing rugby. And, uh, he was like spitting up blood, urinating blood. He was in really bad shape. So much pain, could barely move. And as we walk into the hospital room, he looks at me, he's like, "Hey, hey, you." And I'm like, "Me?" He goes, "Yeah, you." He's like, "I seen you in my dream, and you're supposed to pray for me, and I'm supposed to be healed." And I was like, "Nah, bro. That's not me, man." You know, like I'm like baby Christian, even if I could call myself that. And I'm definitely the worst missionary on my team. And he's like, "No, I've seen you in my dream, and you're supposed to pray for me, and I'm supposed to be healed." And this is what I said to him. I was like, "No, no, no. That's not me." He goes, "It is you. It is you." And this is what I told him. I said, "Nah, all Asian people look the same, bro." I was like, "You probably saw a dude from China. Like, I'm Korean-American. There's way more Chinese people in the world than Koreans, you know?" So, it's really highly likely that in your dream you saw that guy who looked like me, but we're not related, right? I mean, but with great conviction, he goes, "No, it is you, and you need to pray for me." So, I'm like, "Okay." So, my team's like, "Okay, yeah, go just go pray for him." And I never laid hands on the sick before. And so, I pray for him. I start laying hands on him, and I don't even know what to do. And I'm like, "Yeah, in Jesus' name, be healed." And then I kind of like open my eyes and look at him and I'm like, "How do you feel?" He goes, "I feel horrible." And then this is what I said to him cuz I'm like the worst missionary ever. I said, "I told you it doesn't work." Like filled with unbelief. I told you it doesn't work. And then something rose up in him, and he rebukes me, and he goes, "You need to have more faith." Wow. And I'm so immature. I get defensive, and I'm like, "Hey, I'm the missionary here. You need to have more faith." And then my two teammates are like, "This is embarrassing." like I can't they're like trying to like smooth over the situation and like yeah, you know what this is like his first time, you know, like making excuses for me, and you know, like I'm already like defensive filled with pride. I'm like don't make that like I'm trying this thing out, you know, like just like it was really really embarrassing, right? But this is honestly where I was.
And so after that happens, there's a second bed, and uh, there was an Asian Indian man's cuz Fiji is half Asian Indian, and he was a Hindu, and his fiance, she was is a Christian, and in their culture very uh common to have an arranged marriage. So they were in an arranged marriage. He got in a horrible bus accident. The bus had flipped over, and when it flipped over, he landed on his face on the concrete, broke his jaw, broke his cheek. His eye was his face was completely black on this side. His eye was swollen out to here, and then his eyelid was like the size of a ping-pong ball. And so he looked rough, you know. And so his Christian fiance comes to us. She's like, "Can you please pray for him, please?" And I was like, "You just saw what happened." You know what I mean? Like, but I don't know what to make of it. But she grabs my hands and she looks me in the eyes. And when I look into her eyes, there was just a deep desperation that was there. Like a real desperation. She's like, "Could you please pray for him?" And something inside of me was moved. I compassion or empathy. So I was like, "Yeah, I'd love to." So I lay hands on him, and I start to pray, "In Jesus' name, be healed." And all of a sudden, right before me, the swelling in his eyelid completely goes down. And then his eye opens up right in front of me. And I'm freaking out. I was like, "I can't believe this happening." And then he freaks out. He's like, "Oh my god, your God just healed me." And then I look at him like, "Oh my god." like my God just healed you. Like and we're like freaking out, right? And like this is crazy. My team like they're freaking out. The other dude is like, "I told you it's working, you know?" And I'm like, "This is wild." So, I don't know what to make of it. And we start talking, and I'm like shocked. And as we're talking a little bit back and forth, you know, like uh the conversation kind of dies down, and then um we start moving to the next room. And when we're we're leaving, the guy whose eye was healed, he's like, "Hey, hey, hey, please come back tomorrow. like I really want to talk more with you." And so I'm like, "Oh yeah, we'd love to. We'd love to. We'll be back. You know, I want to see you again, you know, but we got to keep going around and talk to all these different people." We probably should have just stayed.
But so the next day, um, so the next morning, wake, we finished that day of outreach. We go, you know, hospital room to hospital room. We go back to our team. We debrief. I'm like sharing the story. It's kind of crazy to me. I'm still trying to process it, you know. And um so the next morning I wake up and I'm like genuinely excited. I get up early, pray, and then I first thing I take like a tuk-tuk, like a you know, like um I don't know how to explain it. Yeah, it's like a small form of transportation. Uh and I go to the Bible store and I buy a Hindi Bible cuz I want to give it to this guy cuz the Bible was like rocking my life, and I just wanted to share it with him. So, I end up going to the hospital room, and while I'm walking in, nervous, don't know what to expect, excited, joyful, like insecure, confident, you know, like all the different emotions that you're feeling cuz it's so new. Like, I don't even know uh where to place it all. I walk into the hospital room, and as I walk in the young man who had hurt both of his kidneys playing rugby who saw me in his dream, he's sitting upright, and he's packing a bag like a duffel bag, and I'm like shocked. I'm like, "Bro, what are you doing?" He goes, "I'm healed." And I'm like, "What? Are you kidding me?" He goes, "I'm healed." He said, "The doctors said I was supposed to be here for a few months." He's like, "But I'm healed." And I was like, "That's wild. That's crazy." And he goes, "Yeah, I've been telling the testimony to everyone." He's like, "I told the doctor. I told the nurses that a great missionary came and that he prayed for me and I was healed." And I was like, "Don't tell him that." He's like, "They want you to pray for all kinds of people." And I'm like getting like nervous like anxiety. I'm like performance anxiety. Like I don't know if I can deliver on all those things, you know? But he's like telling me all this stuff, and he's so excited, and I don't even know where to place it. And as he's sharing with me, uh, I see an older woman next to him, and it's his mom. And she's like throws herself on me, gives me a hug, and then retracts back. She's like grabbing my hands. And she's like, "Thank you." Hugs me. Grab my hands. Thank you. Hugs me. Tears flowing down her face. And she says, "Thank you so much. Thank you so much." And I was like, "I I don't I didn't really do anything. I don't know what I did, but" And she's like, "No, no, like you don't understand. my son, he loves to play rugby and we didn't know if you'd ever play rugby again, and he's going to play again. And she goes, 'We're very, very poor from the poorest village.' And she goes, 'And we have nothing to give.' She's like, 'But I was hoping to see you because if I did, I wanted to give you a gift.' She's like, 'But I don't have money.' And I was like, 'Oh, I don't need any money.' And she's like, 'I don't have anything.' But when I heard my son was healed, I went outside and I began to pick banana leaves. And then I made a basket. And then she reached under the bed and she goes, 'Here you go. Here's the basket. I want to give you this gift. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.'" And I remember receiving this gift. And I remember looking into her eyes, realizing they had a real problem that they were looking for a real solution to, and they found it in the Lord. and she gave me this basket and she's like, "I'm sorry. I wish I could give you more money or more chickens." And I was like, "No, no, thank you." Like, and I we just cried together in that moment. I still can see the look on her face, knowing that the gospel is a real message for real people. You know, we talk about nations or injustice issues, and all those things are real. But these are real people with real faces, real situations just like you and me. Real longing for joy and hope, real longing for belonging and acceptance, searching for identity, searching for purpose, looking for a savior, whether they know it or not. And there in that moment, I remember seeing her meeting Jesus.
And so I took this basket, thanked her. We end up talking a little bit more. And then we go to this next bed to the Hindu guy whose eye was miraculously healed. And I don't, it's hard to explain everything that was going on internally. But I hand him this Bible, and I just sincerely say to him, "Hey, I don't know how to explain this, but this book is changing my life." I was like, I feel like, you know, I'm reading it, but it's like reading me, and I feel like convicted, and I'm like repenting when I read it and confessing my sin, and it's I physically feel it changing me on the inside. I physically feel like someone's taking the perversity in my mind and like washing it clean. And here I just want to give this to you cuz it just means so much to me. And he received it with joy. He thanked me, and we just start talking. And I don't know a few minutes into our conversation, I'm like sharing my story, and I'm like processing with them like what I'm going through because it's so new. And he stops me in the middle of my conversation with him, and he looks at me, and he goes, "You have a joy inside of you that I want. You have joy inside of you that I want." And this struck my heart cuz I was like, "Joy, I know depression. I know anxiety. I know addiction. I know faking it." Like acting like I'm okay in front of everyone. But then the moment that I'm alone, feeling so alone, but joy. So this is what I was thinking. He's like, you have a joy inside of you that I want. What is it? And I couldn't help but say, "It's Jesus. It's Jesus. It's Jesus." And then he looks at me, and he goes, "I want this Jesus. How do I have him?" And I got anxiety again cuz I was like, I don't know. I've never led anyone to the Lord before, you know what I mean? So, we I just hold his hands, and I'm like, I don't know, repeat after me cuz I've seen other people on my team do this, you know what I mean? And this is how little my faith was. But yet, that mustard seed of faith, I was like, maybe if he doesn't say the right words, he might not get in. Honestly, this is just kind of where I was in my journey. So, I'm like, all right, make sure you cover all your bases. So, I'm like holding his hands. We're like praying. He's repeating after me. And then we open our eyes, and he has got tears streaming down his face, and the countenance on his face is completely changed. And I knew in that moment he was born again. I knew in that moment that he had been filled with the Holy Spirit. I knew in that moment that he had been saved by God. And as we were just sharing, you know, um we just started to rejoice, give thanks to the Lord. And then um his fiance, remember she's this Christian, they're in a marriage. She was feeling all this pressure. She starts like crying, jumping up and down. She's so excited. And we're like, "Yeah, isn't it awesome? Now he's saved. You know, before you're going to get married." She's like, "Yes, yes, yes." She's like, "But you don't understand." I'm like, "What is it?" She goes, "I've been praying and fasting one meal a day for 40 days for him to get saved before we get married." I'm like, "No way." She goes, "And today is the 40th day." And I'm like, "What?" Like mind blown.
And in that moment, I couldn't believe that all this this whole like small situation of a handful of people amongst billions of people around the world was being coordinated the way that it was. How would God know that He would bring the worst missionary ever to Fiji, who was on a journey of really discovering what this means? Who would have known that this young man would have gotten uh this wild rugby accident? Who would have known that he came from this poor village and his mom couldn't never pay for this? Who would have known that he'd be next to a Hindu man whose bus flipped over whose eye would get partially healed the on the 39th day on the 40th day of a fast be healed before they get married? I mean, who would have known? Like, you can't make this stuff up. And I just saw like God dish up His faithfulness, His love to and meet every single person's need in that moment. How is that possible that it would be coordinated? Could it be a God who's far away or distance? Or would it have to be a God who's deeply involved, moving through people's obedience, longing to pursue, longing to reveal Himself if people would say, "Here I am, Lord. I'm available." And I don't know, I've been a missionary for 20 years, and I'm weak, broken, and I always say the greatest ability isn't how smart you are or how talented you are. The greatest ability in God's kingdom is actually availability. He's just looking for anyone who will say yes to doing it His way through His word, showing His love, revealing who He is correctly to the ends of the earth.
And in that moment, I got hit with the love of God. And it was like liquid love. I can't explain it. It was like the Father's love just came over me. And in that moment, I was getting so touched by God. And then I felt a scripture verse bubble up inside of me, Ephesians 28:9 and 10. It says, "For by grace you have been saved. This is not by works so that no man can boast. It is a gift from God. You are Christ's workmanship created in advance to do good works." And in that moment, I just intuitively knew that I was saved from something. I I thought about my background. I thought about selling drugs to single moms. I thought about how much wounding I had brought to my parents and my siblings. I thought about people I had stolen from, lied to, and just the brokenness that my own brokenness had caused other people. And I knew I was saved from something. But also in that moment, I knew I wasn't just saved from something, but I was saved for something. And that I would be Christ's workmanship to actually advance His kingdom, not just a recipient of the gospel, but one to carry the gospel to my neighbor or to the ends of the earth, wherever the Lord may lead. And in that moment, I felt so fulfilled. And since then, I've always known I'm just going to live like this for the rest of my life. I could be a traditional missionary through YWAM. I could be a businessman. I could be a videographer. I could be a stay-at-home mom. I mean, you know, I'm a man, but you know, stay-at-home mom. Or I could be a high school student. But all live for the glory of God and carry His gospel, His good news.
And sometimes we feel like we need to be perfect before God can use us. But the scripture is filled with weak people, but surrendered people. And He is the one who calls things forth as if they already were. He said, "Abraham, rise up. You'll be a father of nations." When Abraham couldn't even have children. Or He said, "Gideon, rise up, mighty warrior." when he's hiding in the wine press peeing his pants, terrified of the Midianites, right? Or He says, "Peter, you are a rock." And all His friends laugh their head off because you're like, "He ain't a rock. He's like the most emotionally unstable, erratic person we ever met." You know, think about Peter. He had three years of great discipleship with Jesus and still cuts off Malcus' ear with the sword. You know what I mean? Like that's like an angry person. You know what I mean? like but yet in the midst of it, God is the one who calls things forth as if they already were. And I can't believe it. You know, if someone would have told me during that time, "Hey, son, one day you'll come back and you'll be the campus director of this exact place, 800 full-time staff, 2,200 students. Just yesterday, we sent 65 teams to 44 nations." You know what I mean? Like, if someone would have told me that, I'm like, "Yeah, right." Like, I'm just trying to stop smoking weed and stop watching porn. you like used by God to use a place like that. But you know what? Like if we just keep surrendering, keep repenting, keep turning our heart to Him, keep believing that He is more committed to us than we could ever be to Him. But keep surrendering. It's amazing what He can actually do.
And now I've preached in front of millions of people. I've met with multiple heads of state to talk about how the gospel of the kingdom can transform nations into every sphere. like I've done a lot and not a boast by me like I'm the most disqualified person you can imagine but yielded but one who will say yes to whatever God asks and one who doesn't really care about who I am on this earth who I am in heaven yes I care about before the Father who I am in hell I want to be I want to be feared there that they know I'm bringing the light of the Lord but here who who I am doesn't really matter because I want to live in obedience to bring forth His kingdom. And so I just want to encourage all of you who are watching. Yeah. That God has a plan for your life. And that's not like a Jeremiah 29:11 nice little Christian bookmark, you know, that you put in your Bible. But it's real eternal truth that has been spoken by a real eternal God and a loving Father who's infinite in power but deeply personal. That your mother's womb was His art studio. It's where He made a masterpiece. He knit you together according
To Psalm 139. He knows what he's made you for. Remember, you're his intellectual property. And he's just looking to fill your life with eternal life, with abundant life as you joyfully surrender to him, to give yourself and to find yourself in the greatest unfolding story, to join generations and thousands of years of Christian history, to fulfill the great commission and to live filled with a passion for Jesus and his purpose here on the earth. Yeah.
So, it's such a joy to uh be able to share with all of you guys. Love you all. So now, yeah. Do you remember the first conversation that you had with your dad after realizing, "Oh, man, I'm a Christian?" And his plan worked. Yeah. A fun story is that my parents four years ago came and did a discipleship training school here and now they're on staff with us. Wow. So it wasn't just a moment uh that we we had after I got really gave my life to Jesus, but the story just keeps getting better and better. But yes, 20 years ago, I remember sharing with them and I remember giving my dad money and just saying, "Hey, like I don't know why I did it. I just had like and uh and just sincerely saying thank you so much, repenting to them, you know, sharing with all kinds of mistakes that I had made, thanking them for their persevering faith. And uh it was a real sweet moment.
And a cool thing is um like I said, my parents are now here on staff. A couple years ago, I was sitting at the dinner table with my mom and she says, "God, sono, God is faithful." She's like, he is still answering the prayers right now that I prayed 25 years ago. And she was sharing things that she would pray for my life. And that's why I say my life's a product of prayer and a trophy of grace. I'm just kind of living on my mom's prayers and on the tears that she shed before God. How could he not be faithful to respond to her in that way? And uh I'm just so grateful for that. So, it's been a beautiful redemptive story. not just a moment, but allowing the story to actually unfold after years has been so wonderful to see. And yeah, it's been so great, especially to have my parents side by side. And now, uh, I'm a family on mission. I got four kids, so we're three generations here together serving Jesus.
You know, it's so special. And I think of this is what Matthew 7 is. It's like a house that was built on the rock. And you know, a house sometimes people think it's our individual lives, but no, it's like in a first-century Jewish audience, it was probably a multigenerational home, all who were obeying the word of the Lord and walking out the word of the Lord that whenever hardships would come, storms would come, the house would not be shaken. And we're really seeing that, which is super special. Yeah.
So now, who is Jesus to you? Oh gosh, man. that I was sharing um with a friend yet a couple days ago that I when someone asks me that question. I feel the poverty of language. You can't really express completely all that's inside of your heart. But recently the name of the Lord that I've been focusing the most on is he is my ever-present help in time of my need. He is my strong tower. He is everything. But sometimes you say Jesus is my everything or Jesus is my all and all. You feel like it seems too cliche to actually capture what's inside. Like if someone asked me who is your wife to you, you know, we've been 16 years in covenant. We've raised four children. We've been through lots of ups and downs. We've had to reconcile through many fights or you know, and then we've experienced incredible 16 years of memories that we shared together. How do you actually say you are my everything and it not sound cheap? It cheapens the love. You know what I mean? So, it's kind of hard to fully express who Jesus is, but he's everything. He's the resurrection and the life. He's my good shepherd and he's carried me in my time of need. He's my eternal portion. He's my inheritance. He's my exceedingly great reward. Like, it's not easy to follow Jesus. He never said it would be easy, right? He said it'd be filled with joy, filled with hope, filled with peace. But it's it comes with its share of difficulties. But he's so worth it. And the difficulty is a small thing compared to actually living in relationship with him. That's why he is my portion. He is my delight. He's that treasure that I found in the field. I'll sell everything to purchase that field. He's that pearl of great price, you know, that you search all over to find that thing that you're looking for. And when you know you found it, no one could ever buy it from you or convince you otherwise cuz it's actually everything. No.
So now, can you pray for those who are listening to your testimony and are wanting to give their life to Jesus? And I'm also thinking of those who are praying for that friend or are praying for that sibling or that son and haven't seen them come to the Lord yet. Could you pray for those who are ready to give their life to Jesus and those who are praying?
Absolutely. Yeah, I would love to. Yeah. I'll break it into two prayers then. Uh the first is for those of you who are really ready to receive Jesus as not just savior but lord. Yeah. I thank you Lord. Father that right now it's not by accident, not by chance that those people who are watching this video who you have been drawing have stumbled into hearing this as their hearts are burning right now as their eyes seem like they're being opened as their hearts are being captivated. It's not cuz wow, this guy's a good speaker. It's the Holy Spirit that's drawing you right now. He has been pursuing you. He has been drawing you to his love. He's the one who created you. But he knows what separated you through sin. Cuz all people have fallen short of the glory of God. And the wages of all of our sin, which is missing the mark of why we were created, the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life. But the great thing is is that we could never solve this on our own. But he sent his very own son, Jesus Christ, to die on that cross for your sin, for my sin, and for all of humanity. He took the punishment that we deserved. And it was the punishment that he received for our sin that gave us peace. It was through his suffering that has given us life. It was through his rejection in that moment from the father that's given us acceptance. And it's through his death that we have received life when he rose again on that third day and conquered sin and death. And so today I just want to pray for you as you are giving your life to Jesus. Just say Jesus you are my savior. Thank you for forgiving me for my sins. You are my Lord. You are the Lord of all. All my life belongs to you and I joyfully surrender to you.
And Lord, I want to pray also for those who are the quote unquote prodals, as many of you have prayed like my mother who prayed with many tears for many years, believing for lost children, lost spouses, lost friends to come to know who this living God is. First, for you, I just thank you for your persevering faith. For God has heard every single prayer. Be encouraged that there's many stories and that there is breakthrough for you and through your prayers. Don't let unbelief creep in where you feel like in the fire of delayed answers where you've given up. Strengthen yourself again today to lift your voice to the Lord and trust that he will answer your prayers. Be encouraged today. And for all those who are prodals, Lord, we just declare that this is the day that they will return home. Just like the father who waited in Luke 15 on the end of the driveway every day waiting, waiting, waiting, didn't see, didn't see, didn't see. And then that one day came when he saw his son from afar and he ran to him filled with life and love where then he just said, "Son, I embraced you." When his son was filled with shame and before his son could even confess, he said, "Here's my robe. Here's let's kill that fattened calf. Let's have a party for my son has returned. And today the father of glory, the father of love is waiting for you as you come to him. And before you can even come to him, he is running after you with his love. And so father we just thank you for all those who will return today in Jesus name. Amen. Amen.
So no, any last words for those who are watching your testimony right now? Yeah, I don't think it's by accident. You have to pay attention to these moments when you something is happening on the inside and just have a sincere prayer to God. not as like God who's far away and distant, but the one who's probably sitting with you in your room right now listening intently and sincerely to everything that you're saying. And just be encouraged. I know lots of people have been going through lots of difficult times right now. And the Lord is drawing you near and he wants to comfort you. He wants to lead you. He wants you to take any kind of your own control out of your own hands and just trust him. He's good. He's trustworthy and he's a fantastic leader.
Hey everybody, God bless you. This is Eric Vattoro, president and founder of Mission Deaf. On behalf of our team, I just wanted to come on here and thank you for all your support. If you've been praying, if you've been donating towards the production of these incredible testimonies, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for all your support. And if you didn't know, we recently relaunched our website. We've updated it with a couple of projects that we're working on. Everything from AI translations to our Spanish channel to even some international teams that we're looking to build. So, if you're interested in learning more about what the Lord is doing in our ministry, I invite you to visit missiondeaf.org.
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