Transcription
I want to thank Nord Protect for sponsoring this video.
Earlier this week, I had the chance to talk to a guy whose wife left him a few months ago. She's already dating. He is devastated on one level. He's out of his mind with jealousy and craziness on the other. Emotionally and intellectually and psychologically, he is a mess. His life is completely turned upside down. He does not realize it, but he is extremely vulnerable in this moment and he's putting himself out there in a situation that could very easily make him a victim of a psychopath.
Now, I know we talk about narcissists and cluster B and all these other personality disorders, but nothing quite compares to psychopathy because these people who only make up a you know about 1% of the population overall um they they have no limits. They have no shame, no guilt. There is nothing holding them back. It's all about personal gain. And when you are out there trying to get your life together and you're at midlife and you're a man and you maybe have accumulated some wealth, well, you are in a very vulnerable spot because there will be people who are looking for you. They have their lines out there just like fishermen looking for those fish looking for the easy meal. And if you're out there looking for an easy meal, finding a date, a woman, whatever, you better believe they're looking for you.
So today I want to talk to you guys a little bit about psychopaths, a few interactions I've had with them, a couple of people that I think had some interactions with them, and uh how you need to avoid them. This is life 2.0. Let's talk about it.
Back in the 1980s, we didn't know very much about mental illness. I don't know if there just wasn't any mental illness back then, if we were just stupid. It was one or the other. I had a friend in college who um had a girlfriend and he was going to break up with her because she was just a little weird and uh he had other options and he just wasn't all that into her anyway. But she persisted and persisted and persisted and did anything and everything she could to endear herself to him. and he slowly fell in love with her. And over the course of the next year, he became more and more and more wrapped up in this woman, young woman. And after about a year, I think they were on Thanksgiving break. And he had uh taken her home to visit with his mother. So things are starting to get serious now. And um after that break, when they got back, she broke up with him. And she told him that this last year has been a complete lie. That she had been playing him the whole time. That she had never loved him. That she just wanted him to fall in love with her so that she could destroy him. So she could break his heart. That, my friends, is a psychopath.
You guys might remember this story from an earlier video. Um, Jake and Sarah. So Jake was a guy that I worked with a long time ago and um he had met a girl online named Sarah and Sarah and he had developed this like texting relationship and he she had sent him pictures and he had sent her pictures but they lived far away from each other. I think she was like in Europe or Eastern Europe or something like that and he was in the US. So but he was vulnerable like he had gone through a divorce. He was middle-aged, you know, he was just lonely and psychologically he was torn up and emotionally he was vulnerable and she took advantage of it or whoever she was took advantage of it. It started off real simple. I think it was like a family emergency. Her mother needed surgery and he needed to pony up $5,000 and so he did. He ponyied up some cash and she uh jumped right on board with it, you know. Um then few months later her rent was going up and uh she asked him for some additional money and he uh kicked in to help her secure her living arrangements and it was something else. I can't remember what it was but along the way I think that Jake was out somewhere in the ballpark of like 20 or $30,000. It was pretty sizable amount of money. And then she just disappeared one day, like just fell off the the uh the planet, like she was just gone. And Jake was like real confused, very upset, as you might imagine. It occurred to Jake that Sarah had all of his personal information. She knew where he lived. She knew his birthday. She knew his mother's maiden name. she had enough information about him to start opening up bank accounts and uh credit cards. And sure enough, that's what happened. Now, he did not realize this immediately. It didn't happen for several weeks afterwards after the relationship ended. And um suddenly, he started getting uh notifications in his email um about suspicious activity, something was going on from his bank that something was going on or his credit cards. And so he uh immediately you started looking into it, pulled his own credit only to see that there were more than a dozen new accounts opened up in his name. Jake's entire identity had basically been stolen. It cost Jake money, time, resources, all kinds of energy to get his life back together. And it was a horrifying experience for him.
But it didn't have to be like this. If Jake had Nord Protect, he would have been warned immediately as soon as anything had come up because they have a three-step process. They are on 24/7 monitoring, watching every single one of your accounts. And the minute somebody opens up a credit account in your name, they're going to notify you. They're going to warn you so that you can take action steps to prevent this from getting any worse. If Jake had had that going for him at the time, it would have saved him enormous amounts of stress, anxiety, and he would have been able to identify this relationship as a fraud right from the very beginning. Thirdly, they help you repair things. You get a million dollars of coverage to help you put your life back together following a uh identity theft or something along these lines. Jake was completely on his own. He had to figure this out the hard way. He had to contact the federal authorities. He had to contact the local authorities. He had to contact all of his bank accounts, all of his um credit cards. He had to get a new driver's license. He had to get a new um PIN number for the Social Security department. Not social security for IRS. Uh the whole thing was just a a complete mess. Lord Protect would have given Jake a 247 assigned agent to help him sort through this entire process and walk them through it step by step.
In addition, if you use my link, nordprotect.com/jhgriffin, you'll get a 30-day money back guarantee. That'll give you the opportunity to get online, check out their platform, play around in their dashboard, and see how they can protect you and make you feel better about your online presence. I am certain that you're going to want to continue this relationship. Having a a powerful company like Nor Protect behind you in the event that something goes sideways gives you a peace of mind that you absolutely have to have these days.
Psychopathy is not a personality disorder. And I think that's important to recognize because we talk about personality disorders a lot, you know, like um narcissists or um borderline personality disorder, that sort of thing. Um psychopathy is wiring. Like they're born this way. They're this is factoryinstalled crazy. This is not learned crazy. this is something that they they came to earth with and it changes it it that makes them so much different from us that it's almost hard to relate to. Like if you're driving down the road and um you see the blue lights pop up in your uh rearview mirror, you're like, "Oh crap, I'm going to get a ticket." And you kind of your heart beats a little bit faster. You know, you think, "What did I do?" You're starting to imagine all the things you're going to say. You know, you're you're going to pull over. You know, you can feel the anxiety about this whole thing and the anger that you might have associated with it. Psychopath is not affected by this at all. A psychopath just sees it as another event, as a cost of doing business for whatever it is that they're after or whatever they're trying to do. They could have a dead body in the trunk and they would never let on for a moment that there was anything unusual. In fact, they would be charming and thoughtful and uh polite with the cop. They would be completely at ease.
Psychopaths can pass lie detector tests without any problem whatsoever because their pulse, their physiology doesn't change in the middle of a lie. They are completely capable of bamboozling even the the best um people when it comes to interpreting you know facial ticks and uh reading people's personalities and you know professional like CIA people who are uh trained on how to tell when someone's being deceitful or lying. Yeah, you can't tell with a psychopath. They will make you buy into whatever narrative they're selling and you will want to buy into it. In fact, you will be drawn to them because they are so good at manipulating people. They will make you think that you're choosing to build a relationship with them. Um, even though it was their intention right from the very beginning to draw you into their world. So, understanding psychopaths is really, really critical.
Now I said earlier that only 1% of the population are really psychopaths but like every other mental illness there is a bit of a spectrum and there are psychopathic um disorders or uh behaviors that are being identified in as much as a quarter of the population. Now I don't know that those people necessarily are genetically psychopaths but it's very interesting that these behaviors are becoming much more common these days. So, I don't know if there's something in the water, you know. I don't know why this is happening, but it does seem like the incidence of crazy is just skyrocketing in our culture these days. Maybe it's just the stress of it all. Who knows? Who knows? But I don't remember crazy being such a big deal back in the 1980s.
Like I said, now you might be thinking, John, there is no way I am falling for that. I am way too smart. I am way got my act together. There's not that's not happening to me. Well, let's just think this thing through for a minute. Bring you back to the story I started this video with. that guy that called me up, his wife had left him three or four months ago and uh she's seeing someone else and he is literally out of his mind. He is a middle-aged guy. He's almost 50. Um he's got a good job. He has money. Um he is extremely vulnerable. He is desperate, and I don't I'm not overstating that. He is desperate to get a woman in his life physically, emotionally, psychologically, he needs a woman in his life. There was no answer that I could give him unless I could give him the phone number of someone that he could call right now. You know what I mean? Like that's what he wanted from me. It's like, dude, I don't know anyone there. I don't know who you could call. But he was that desperate.
Anyway, when you're in that state of mind and you're middle-aged, you're 50, you know, 60 years old, think about who's out there in the dating population. So, if psychopaths only make up 1% of the general population, what percentage of the dating population do they make up? And what percentage of the dating population that you're considering do they make up? Because I would just guess that by a process of elimination that there are a higher percentage of psychopaths on the dating market right now than there are in the general population just because they would be more focused there for a number of reasons. Number one, probably they have relationships that all blew up on them, so they're divorced, too. Number two, they were looking for someone to take care of them, you know. So, especially with women, you know, male psychopaths, we stand out because we start, you know, killing people, we hack people's heads off, whatever. We get into fights, we end up in prison. That's what happens to most male psychopaths. They are aggressive. But women psychopaths are not like that. You know, they have been socialized to be like women. So, they are much more covert about their behaviors and they're less violent, too. I mean, they don't generally come after you with a knife. They do sometimes, don't get me wrong, but um for the most part, they're coming after you because they want your wallet. They want to ruin you. They want to emotionally hurt you. They want to psychologically hurt you. They want to financially hurt you. But they don't necessarily want to physically hurt you. Maybe because they don't think they can. I don't know. But that seems to be the MMO when it comes to women who are psychopaths.
So, now back to my question. What percentage of the dating market do you think are psychopaths? women psychopaths. So, let's just say since we know 50% of the people get divorced that it's double. So, now we're up to 2%. Okay. Now, let's take it up to older people. So, we're talking about over 40, 45, 50. So, maybe you're dating people over age 40. So, I'm 60. So, I I can't go below 40. I I just have to set a bar somewhere. That would be the the youngest person I would date would be 40. Um, now you're concentrating that population even more. So now maybe we're talking 3 or 4%. So that's one out of 25 maybe that are psychopaths. Now how many likes do you get on um your dating app? You know what I mean? Like how many women are actually liking you on a dating app? And if they're psychopaths and they are predatory, which they frequently are, and they see you on that dating app and they think, "Ah, there's a guy that I could probably pick up." What are the likelihood that they would choose you? Yeah, it starts to get kind of scary now. Like maybe now one out of five, one out of 10 of the likes that you get on a dating app or from a psychopath. Yeah, it's crazy.
So if men are physically psychopathic, women are emotionally psychopathic. What that means is that they have taken all the fine art that women have in understanding and displaying emotion and they have refined it so much that it is scientific in the way that they can deploy it. They can deploy their emotions such that they can manipulate you into believing almost anything. They can go from one extreme to the other instantly. They can draw you in masterfully like a Hollywood actress, like an Oscar-winning actress into whatever role she's playing for you in that moment. She can make you believe that she is the damsel in distress. And not only that she is a damsel, but that it's a a critical critical moment. Like she absolutely needs your help and you're the only one who can help and it is an emergency and they she needs it. I think this is what happens with Jake and and Sarah. He got sucked into that whole thing. um they're emot they're uh information vampires. So they will suck up every little piece of information that they can get about you. They want to know you. They want to know everything they can about you so they can use that information either for themselves or against you. So just be aware that this is the kind of behaviors that you're going to see. These natural psychopathic I have sprayed myself and sprayed myself and they are still coming after me.
Anyway, so a psychopathic woman is not going to come at you violently like she doesn't want to kill you. No, no, no, no, no. She's got much better plans. You know, I got to hand it to psychopaths, especially the women. So much smarter than psychopathic men. Psychopathic men, you know, they become serial killers or whatever. Psychopathic women, they become rich. Psychopathic women will triangulate, meaning that they will place one person against another. And they won't even do it necessarily for any kind of gain. They will just do it for the fun of it, just to see what happens, just to see the chaos. They love this crap. Psychopathic women will use emotional blackmail. Now, I know a lot of these things are a lot like narcissists, and there are some similarities, but a narcissist is actually afraid of being called out. They're afraid of shame. They don't want anyone to know about their behaviors. Psychopaths don't care, which means they're willing to take much bigger risks to achieve their goals. Yes, that means they have a no holdsbred approach to destroying your life. They will do anything and everything under the power to do it. and blackmailing you um or through all that information collection that they've been doing is a classic um tactic by especially female uh psychopaths. So be really really cautious about the kind of people that you bring into your life and uh what you tell them.
Psychopaths don't go after weak men. They go after good men. They go after men that are protectors and competitors. These are the guys that are going to have a lot of self-confidence. And that self-confidence oftentimes is exactly the um problem or exactly the uh characteristic that is going to make them even more vulnerable. So, it's not just guys are going through divorces or guys who have been psychologically and emotionally damaged because of a broken relationship or their self-esteem is in the tank. In fact, quite often times it's exactly the opposite. It's the guys who are most confident in who they are and their ability to make good choices who are the best potential victims because they're hubus about their ability to protect themselves and to be competitive and to all the success that they've had in their lives makes them think that they're invulnerable to these kinds of things. And it's that guy exactly that a psychopath will go after. And she will morph herself into exactly the guy that that guy would be attracted to. She wants to be um the woman that is perfect for him and she will make him believe that there is no woman on this planet as good as her for him.
About 15 years ago, I was um going to the UPS store and I had my then wife and my two young daughters in the car with me. And uh I was going to the strip mall and I pulled into a parking spot right next to the UPS store and but it was in front of a real estate office. And when I got out of my car, a woman in a Mercedes pulled in behind my car and yelled at me, "You're parked in my spot." And I thought, "Oh, I'm sorry. Let me just take a look." And I looked around. There's no sign. So I looked underneath the back of the car to see if there was anything written on the ground. Nothing there. And I looked at the curb and there's nothing there. So I said, "You know, it looks like this is public parking. I don't why is it your spot? She says, "This is where I always park. I work at that real estate office." I said, "Well, there's a parking space right behind me. I mean, you can just turn your wheel the other way and go that way." So, we're having a conversation now. This was going to be a a 10-second drop off for me. Anyway, she refused. I said, "Look, I'm just going to go into the UPS store. I'm going to be a minute or two. If you want, you can wait. I'm going to be leaving in just a couple minutes." So, I go into the UPS store. Unfortunately, there is a little bit of a line. Probably took me 2 or 3 minutes to come out. When I come outside and I get into the car, my wife says, "I think that lady took her key and scratched your car." I like, "No freaking way." So I go out and look around the other side on the drive on the passenger side and sure enough there is a fresh deep scrape across my paint. And I said, "Did you see that?" She says, "I didn't see it exactly, but she walked right up against the car and I heard that sound. So, I went into the office and uh talked to the girl at the front desk and said, "Does that woman drives that Mercedes? Where does she work?" And so, she's here. And so, she takes me to the back and this is the woman who runs the shop. She's like the owner. She's the freaking owner of the shop. I said, "My wife told me she saw you scrape my car with your keys." And she said, "Yeah, so what are you going to do about it?" And I pulled out my phone and I called the police.
Anyway, she um eventually came clean because my wife said that she saw it even though she just heard it when she put two and two together and she was forced to pay me. But through the entire exchange, there was no guilt, no shame, no indication that she had done anything wrong at all. In fact, she put all of the bad behavior on me because I refused to move my car, even though she had no legal right to ask me to move my car. I mean, it was just this crazy thing. Anyway, upon reflecting when I was doing the research for this video, I thought, I think that woman was a psychopath. Like, I think she legitimately was a psychopath. She was very successful financially. I mean, she ran that real estate office. She was driving a fancy car. She was well-dressed and wellappointed. She was not the kind of person that you would think that would key your car. That's for damn sure. And I think that she probably goes through life like that, putting on this act of being this very responsible business person who's very financially welloff and well-dressed and appropriate in every way, shape, and form. But in reality, underneath the surface, she's a nut job. She's a psychopath. She's crazy. And there are people that she's having relationships with right now who have no idea what they're dealing with.
So, how do you protect yourself from a psychopath? First of all, you have to use some common sense when it comes to dealing with bringing new people into your life, whether it's a woman or anyone, because a man can do this to you just as easily. But women, I think in particular, we men tend to be uh more vulnerable to them. we put our guard down. And so we're more likely to allow them deeper into our lives and we're more likely to share personal information with them. So you're going to have to move really, really slowly in relationships. Too often times when I'm talking to guys who are going through separations and divorces, they want to jump right into the next thing. And there is a lot of risk associated with doing that. Even if she's just cluster B or she's, you know, borderline or she's a narcissist or sociopath. We even get into that. You know, there's so many other mental illnesses out there. And when you think about the dating pool and how polluted it's getting, you need to have some chlorine in the dating pool. You need to clean that stuff up. You do not want to just go diving in there. It's a cess poolool on some level. So, you got to take your time. You got to go super super super slow. Don't jump into the sack with anybody that you don't know. Because the minute you start intensifying the relationship is when you start um opening the door to conversations that maybe you never intended to have, but she did. Like maybe the whole uh jumping into the sack thing was just a way to get you to drop your guard so that you would open up and start talking to her about your personal life. Yeah. And now you're feeding her information that she could now use against you. So, you've got to be super super careful.
The key to it is if you catch her in a lie or some inconsistency and you point it out and she seems to exhibit no shame, no remorse, no uh indication that she is um feeling badly about this behavior. That is a red flag. That's probably the single biggest red flag that you can identify a psychopath with because they have no remorse. They will say and do things with um no sense of empathy for anyone else. Even worse than a narcissist. Like empathy is just something that doesn't light up in their heads at all. Like they don't have any sense of what it might be like to be someone else. So have that in your head. Be aware that psychopaths are out there. Be aware that there's a lot of mental illness out there. Be aware that if you're going to be out there dating and meeting new people, that the possibility that you're going to come across one is pretty good. there's a relatively good chance that you're going to come across one and you need to protect yourself.
If you're recognizing these patterns in a relationship that you're involved with right now, you need to get out of that as soon as possible. Psychopaths cannot be dealt with. They are dangerous people. You cannot have them in your orbit. You need to cut off all contact in every way possible. Block them on your phone. No more emails. Block them in any way that you can. Withdraw all of their tentacles from your life. Do not allow anyone that you have any kind of um relationship with to have a continuing relationship with the psychopath. So, if she knows your friends, your family members, you need to put the word out right away that she's dangerous and they need to stay away from her. Um, you just need to protect yourself at all costs. Um, because once she realizes that the gig is up, once she realizes that you're on to her secret, cuz she knows she's a psychopath. Once she knows that you're on to it, she's going to do everything she can to hurt you, she's going to use whatever she has available to her to cause you as much pain as possible. So, you have got to get out and you got to do it clean. Don't make a big deal out of it. You don't need to turn into a fight. You don't need to have a big explosion. you just need to disappear. That's your only um defense is you just have to disappear.
And then, you know, like I said, having a service like Nord Protection to protect your assets and your finances and to be on top of your credit and all that stuff, I'm I swear that is a a no-brainer. You've got to have something like that to um keep your finances in order and to alert you in the event that something goes badly.
All right, you guys. That's all I got for you today. I certainly hope you've enjoyed this video. If you have, please like and subscribe. If you know someone who is going through an experience like this and you think that maybe they need to watch it, please share it with them. Anyway, till next time, stay healthy and if you can stay single.