Transcription
Hi baby. If I wanted to become the ultimate dream girl, fertile black cat energy girl, that every guy chases, the girl that you want to be friends with, the girl, the dream girl in 2025, me personally, and I wasn't there yet, but I wanted to become her, this is what I do.
I am going to detail what is the dream girl, how the process goes. I've got about 18 points on this device here that I've written out from cultivating everything I've ever talked about. This was going to be the ultimate guide. So if you watch this and you're going into the next year and you are ready to start a fresh and a new, and you want to be that dream girl, you know, the girl that you watch and you're always like, "This is going to be me. I'm going to be her," and everything is going to feel right in my life, whatever that image is, we're going to go through what that means for you. We're going to go through every practice you can do. We're going to go through all the bullet points, and we're going to go through everything you need to do to achieve what you want to achieve, and finally become her.
Because we always know that feeling when the year starts, a school year, a time of year, a journal. I used to be that kid who, I used to grab my journal or my school book, and we used to have to laminate it on the back because, you know, time before iPads and, um, you used to have to write like the date on the 1st of September. That's when we used to start school in England, 1st of September. And I used to be like, "This will be the year that I am going to write it perfectly. This is going to be the year that it's going to look streamlined, pristine, and I'm going to be that girl." Well, you grow up, and that never passes. Every year you're like, "Okay, okay, on your birthday, this is going to be me. I'm going to be that dream girl. I'm going to be that girl. I'm going to be the girl that everybody recognizes for doing the amazing thing. The guys are going to chase me. I'm going to do it all."
Okay, so I want to debunk some myths. I want to tell you some truths, and I want to really dive into this concept of really the blueprint, the whole idea of what it is to be her. Let's start with step number one. You cannot get anywhere unless you know where you're going. What is the dream version of your dream girl? It's not his dream girl. It's not her dream girl. It's your dream girl. For somebody, it might be an Angelina Jolie in the tourist type. She is kind of very revered and like prowling and like a panther. To someone, it might be a Marilyn Monroe. To someone, it might be like somebody who, I don't know, is in Hufflepuff in the, um, Harry Potter series. It's not always the same for everybody, and we're not made to be the same. We're all made to be unique varietals of different things. It's important to understand what your dream girl is. How does she move? How does she act? What is her style? And unless you know who that is, and unless you have that in your mind and somebody to emulate, that's never going to be you.
So let's take Angelina Jolie as an archetype. That's always the person that comes up for me. Even though that's not necessarily my archetype, I like to use something between like an Angelina Jolie and a Bridget Bardot. That's like a dark feminine for me, and a light feminine that I marry together to result in my feminine archetype. For you, it might be somebody different. So you go with who you want. But often, it's very useful to have two archetypes: one dark feminine, one light feminine. If you haven't looked at my content about white cat energy and black cat energy, have a look at that and see what you think about that. So you need to define it. And to define it, you need to write it down. There is no ifs, ands, or buts about it. We need to get the journal, ladies. We need to get the journal and we need to write in that journal who that person is for you. If you don't have archetypes you want to follow, celebrities, people from books, characters, etcetera, you can really write down the words: magnetic, stylish, has D, has this, that, the other. For me, the iconic look about the whole idea of being that girl, that dream girl, is that blonde tussled hair. She said with her slick back pony. If you're watching this, you're like, "The hell?" But I've always imagined having long, luscious blonde hair because blonde is my natural color. If I was brunette, it would be brunette, like natural hair color. And just having that beautiful hair. For me, that's very much Bridget Bardot in her natural Frenchness. But the sleek bag bun, that's also very Angelina Jolie. You know what I mean? You have to find that personal style.
Because once you become the dream girl, the importance of being the dream girl is you have the confidence to execute dream girl being and dream girl nature, which is confidence. If you are not confident, if you're buying into any style, any trend, falling for everything that is always presented to you, now we like big butts, now we like small butts, now we're into OIC, and you're always following the trends, that's not dream girl behavior. If you're not somebody who loves writing, me, I love writing. Then you are somebody who is visual. You need to create a vision board. There is so much online about vision boards. But essentially, you can either print it out on a computer, or you can write it out, or you can look at it in magazines. I don't know if we still look at magazines, but if you do, do that. Pinterest board, boom. Pinterest board. We are renovating at the moment in a different house, and we are potentially moving, fingers crossed, soon. And vision boards on Pinterest are so iconic and so key because you know what they do? You write down what you like in there. You write down your style. And then it presents you, the AI is clever, it presents you with other items of what you might look like. It's like, "That's your type of dream girl. I see you. Say less. This is who you need to be." So go on there, make a Pinterest board. Call it the year that we're in. If you're watching this in 2027, I know you're watching this in 2027. Go write, "2027 New Me Dream Girl. This is who I'm going to be." Okay? And for us who are watching it in the now, 2025 Dream Girl Energy. This is who I'm going to be. It has to be crystal clear in your mind. That cannot be any ifs or buts.
But I will encourage you with one thing. And I say it in my book, "The New Rules to Being Her." If you have checked out my book, check it out for all the rules. But I'm not going to go into them. But I say in there that it's got to be close to the archetype that you are. I'm not over here with my mildly Scandinavian looks, Eastern European looks, trying to look like a JLo. No matter how much I break my back, I'm not going to do well at looking like that archetype. So understand who you are and pick someone who you can emulate. I'll be honest with you. You know, the reason why I chose Angelina Jolie to emulate all those years back. I used to have a childhood friend who was like, "Oh my god, when it was the Tomb Raider era," and she was like, "Oh my god, you know what? You have a body type like Angelina Jolie." And we were also into astrology, and we found out that Angelina Jolie's rising sign is exactly the same as mine on some kind of ascendant, cerebral, you know, sidereal signage. It's, um, in Cancer, basically. But there is like four realms of Cancer, and we have aligned on the same one, right? And those people, your rising sign, denote how you look. And she goes, "Oh my god, that's so true, because you've got really skinny arms and legs and a bigger body like she does, like a blocky body without a waist." And I was like, "Excuse me?" I was mildly offended, I'm not going to lie. But also, I learned to embrace that. I was like, "Okay, so if I've got skinny arms and legs, skinny arms and legs, go on my Instagram if you want to see my legs. Who everyone always asks what the workout is. There is no workout. It's just you have to be born in that astrological sign, apparently." But Angelina Jolie has the same thing: thin arms and legs and a blocky body. And instead of being like, "Oh my god, I've got to change it. I want to have a JLo waist. I want to have a booty." I was like, "Effort. I'm Angelina Jolie. Fine. Let's go with that." That's it. And so I started to represent myself in the way she walks. She's also broad-shouldered. Not that I'm that epically broad-shouldered, but you know what I mean. She's got bust. She's more top-heavy. And the way she presents herself and walks, I'm like, "Okay, say less. Say less, Angie. I see how you do that. I can emulate that." So it's about the knowledge of what your dream girl looks like. And don't forget to put on that board or in that journal what the dream girl acts like too, because it's not all about looks. When we're going to emulate this, it's going to be the type of career you want. It's going to be the type vibe that you're giving. It's going to be all of it. Okay, so that's step one: clarity. Crystal clarity.
Step number two, ladies and gents, is we're going to level up our confidence. I say this time and time again. Confidence is not just about pretending to be better than you feel. Confidence is a couple of elements together. And the biggest one, and the reason why you look at people when they're confident and you're like, "I just can't emulate that. I just can't reach that. It doesn't feel reachable. It doesn't feel attainable to me." I will tell you exactly why. The reason you don't feel it is because those people show up for themselves. The people that are confident, I am confident. I show up for myself. I'm not confident because I'm the smartest, the prettiest, the best, the whatever. I'm confident because I show up for myself. I vouch for myself. When you're confident in a friend of yours, you are confident that they're going to be there for you. You're confident in the knowledge that they are going to stand up for you. You're confident in the knowledge that when they say they're going to be there at 8:00, they're either going to be there or they're going to say that they're running late. Confidence comes from repeated action and showing up for yourself. If you are not confident today, it's because you've not been showing up for yourself. If you can show up for yourself, and you can represent yourself in the world in a way that you would vouch for, say, your own pet, you know, if your pet is sick, you take them to the doctor. Stand up for yourself that way. That level of confidence is dream girl energy. Not because you are the best thing since sliced bread, even though I don't indulge in bread at the moment. You know what I mean? I'm being a healthy legend. But if you like bread, do bread. Yeah. For me, it doesn't work. If you are going to show up for yourself, you are going to have that level of confidence. And if you don't feel like you're the best thing ever, that's okay. I don't feel that way too. But what I know is I'm going to vouch for myself. I'm going to back myself like I do with my pets and kids. And that's the essence of confidence.
Affirmations is another part of step two. You have to affirm yourself verbally because that is how you put spells onto yourself and the world. You have to verbally speak only light onto yourself and onto other people. But other people is a whole new series, and I will talk about that and how to make him feel a certain way about you or how to amplify people and make them love you and all that stuff in a different thing. This is about how you become your own dream girl. You need to talk about yourself in an elevated way to yourself. And don't make dumb jokes to your friends about how ugly, fat, skinny, unworthy, whatever it is that your qualm is, you are. Do not make them because they materialize. Whatever you say materializes. It is the craziest thing. I've talked about this a lot. I have a very close friend, the most beautiful girl you'll ever see. She always talked about how big her nose is, how ugly her nose is. Guess what I can see when I see her? Her nose was normal. And now, because she's talked about it so much, that's what we can see. Ladies and gents, step two is also about internal work. You need to reframe your limiting beliefs. If you have done my "Become Her" course, you will know all about reframing of of limiting beliefs. For example, a limiting belief might be, "I'm shy. I can't talk to people." That is not my limiting belief, but that could be yours, right? So I'm going to use it. "I'm shy. I can't talk to people." That belief is going to limit you because you're not going to put yourself out there, and you're not going to talk to people who you want to talk to. However, if you flip, reverse it, uno reverse it, and you say, "I'm a thoughtful person. It takes me time to get to know people, but once I know them, I'm very interesting to talk to." You can have a confidence behind your merits. You can put a negative spin on anything. "Oh, I, um, didn't go to uni." And not my case again, I'm just saying hypothetically. "Oh, I didn't go to uni and I don't know what I want to do with my life and I haven't chosen my career yet." "I didn't go to uni despite everybody telling me to because I'm more of a free spirit and I'm still deciding what I want to do. How amazing is that that my parents don't push me or support me to go and do a degree and get into debt when I don't have to?" Everything can be reframed.
You also need to sit down and when you're meditating, whatever meditation that is, or whatever thought process that is, these days I would even encourage you just to walk without listening to audiobooks or headphones unless it's my audiobook. The others don't listen to. L, I'm joking. Listen to them all. But I encourage you to have thought. We don't sit and think anymore. We don't have thought. We don't introspect. We don't know who we are. We don't focus on embodying that person we want to be with confidence. It's very, very tricky if you have no room for thoughts. And you're always podcast, podcast, podcast, video, video, video. Everyone's always talking your head, talking your head. You can't compress the notion of who you want to be. It's a confusing, blurry mentality. So I encourage you to turn everything off. And in your mind, visualize yourself literally being that person you want to be. Angelina Jolie, Bridget Bardot, Margaret Thatcher, whoever it is you want to be.
Number three, we cannot avoid this one. And if we learn to embrace it, it's quite fun. Amplify your physical appearance. Part of being a dream girl is being the best version of you. Being the best version of you. If you feel ugly in your life, it's because you have not amplified to the best of your ability how you look. You have not got the best version of your own teeth. You don't brush them enough. You haven't got Invisalign. "Oh, I can't afford Invisalign." You haven't saved up for Invisalign. "Oh, you can't." You got all these excuses. You need to amplify your looks, your god-given looks, to the best ability that you have. Have the trash food that you put in your body. The way you don't wash your skin before you go to bed. Why have you not brushed your teeth again? Why have you not saved for Invisalign? But yet you're going out with your friends, getting the 5, 500 coffee. Not that you can save and not buying coffees. I'd encourage you more to make money. But if you want to hear more about feminine energy business strategies, comments, guys, comments, because we can talk about that. I talk about what you want to know about. Okay, so if you have not amplified your looks to the best of your ability, your soul, your your core self feels that. Why have I been given this opportunity to look like this person in this lifetime? Even if you believe in reincarnation, cool. You will never be you again. This is your one chance. And I know there's something in you that loves the way you are. If I gave you the opportunity to look like Samantha, Sally, or Judy over there, you wouldn't. There's something that you're attached to being the way you are. So why don't you respect it? You have the face of people who've loved each other, your ancestors who made it through jungles or mammoths or ice age or whatever they made it through. Listen, you are here. You need to put some respect on their name and some respect on your name. Think about where you come from, where your people come from, what they've been through. Amplify yourself to the best of your ability, just through the notion that you exist. But let's put all the esoteric and very real stuff aside and just say, is your hair the best it could be? Is your skin dewy? Have you done everything that you need to do? Are you drinking that green tea? Because let me tell you, it works for skin. Are you doing all of that? If you're not, that's number three step to being the dream girl.
You need to also reflect on your personal style. One of my closest friends came over. She by far more stylish than me. But I've been so obsessed with this kind of Princess Diana, Cindy Crawford from the '90s style at the moment. Why? Because I am a mom of a 10-month-old and a 4-year-old. So when I tell you I run around, I mean I run around. So I can't do Lady Gaga at the moment. Okay, maybe I can on occasions, but I'm not willing. Wardrobes should be effortless and very, very you. They should not be wearing you. You should be wearing them. So when I see Princess Diana in her bike shorts and vintage sweater, which wasn't vintage at the time, but let's say it's vintage, and sneakers, or I see, you know, that kind of Cindy Crawford '90s Levi's 501s with a white shirt, I'm like, "Yes, that's my style right now. I can do that. I can do that right now." Okay, so my friend came over, and I was like, "I got a pair that was too small. I got a size 26 and it was too small for me, waist." And I was like, "Hey, why don't you try them on?" She's a supermodel, so she put them on, and they fit. And I was like, "And wear it with the white shirt and kind of flick your hair that way." And she's looking at me like, "Girl, girl, I've got more style than you, don't you worry." She didn't say that, but like her eyes said that. But not really. But she was like, "Stop it. Stop trying to style me." But anyway, she sent me a photo of herself wearing it with a white shirt, and I was like, "Chef's kiss. Amazing." Because I've been meditating on that style. I've been meditating on it. You know, right now, I'm not into things that are not attainable for me, not that they aren't, but just uncomfortable, aren't there for me. If you're watching this on video, I'm wearing this, um, blue navy gold button situation. It's kind of, it's kind of giving, you know, I, uh, go to the golf course and I drink martinis vibes. Okay, so whatever is your vibe, you need to really zero in on it because it's going to give you confidence. So it's not just about healthy appearance, it's about your style, your personal style, and a signature scent.
Today, my daughter is unfortunately spiking a fever. She's napping at the moment, my poor little cherub child. But I was going to have an amazing interview, which I will still bring to you. So I won't tell you who it is, but it's one of the biggest fragrance female owners, founders in the world. And I was researching these fragrances, and I was like, "Man, fragrances are powerful." Okay, they are so powerful. The notion of how you smell can linger in someone's mind forever. So step number three, before I chew your ear off for too long, is fragrance. Find a signature. It's going to remind you of that character. Attach it to the character that you are wanting to build.
Step four: Master the art of connection and connectivity. You see the way I'm looking in your eyes? You see the way I'm talking to you? I'm open. Master body language. Master how you connect to people. I will give you this tip for sure. If you have an awkward connectivity to people, people will react awkwardly towards you. You, what you need to do is have open body language. You need to put your shoulders back. I'm sitting here with my knee up. I can put it down. I can put it up. I still have very casual body language. I can even lounge like this. Actually, I'm going to do the rest of this podcast like this. I'm going to lounge. I'm still lounging, but the body is still poised. You have to have a cat-like poise. When we're talking about black cat energy, white cat energy, the reason we use a cat is because a cat is graceful, unless he's Garfield, yeah. A cat is usually graceful and flows and has that feminine energetic vibe. I talk about it in my book. There's a moment when my mom said to me when we came into a restaurant, "Why is everyone looking at you? I mean, you're deeply average." My daughter, she didn't say like that, but, you know, my mom's funny. She was like, "Nobody looks at me like that." I said, "It's about presence." It's like that old story about Marilyn Monroe being Norma Jeane, and her friend goes to her, "Nobody recognizes you on the street." And she's like, "I'm not being Marilyn, babe." I'm not being Marilyn. Check this out. And she just changes up her walk, and everyone's like, "Oh my god, it's Marilyn Monroe." And they start running around and, you know, trying to catch her or whatever people do when they see celebrities. Anyway, you need to develop a poise and a presence, a charisma. Do you know how far charisma goes? Because you can't ride far on youth and just good looks. Because some people are not going to care about your good looks because maybe they're the same gender as you and they don't really care about that. And maybe they don't go that far with looks. And some people, you're going to age. You know, not that you can't be good-looking as you age, you 100% can. But charisma, cultivate it. I was very lucky that I thought I was very unattractive as a young child. I don't know why. Maybe someone said something. A couple of people said stuff where I was a bit confused. And I was like, "Oh, well, I'm not attractive. I might as well be funny and charismatic." It takes time. You've got to work on it. And the biggest tip I will give you, I'm just coming back to it, is listen. Nobody listens to anybody anymore. Be present when someone's talking to you. Don't clicker-clacker, clicker-clacker on your phone. You're not a secretary. Stop it. Look at people. Be present. If you want to post on your stories, take a photo, post it later. Have decorum. Be demure. Be mindful. People don't really have that skill anymore. If you can cultivate that, you are going to stand out by a landslide. Also, don't take things super to heart. If you can possess this, I'm telling you, you will conquer the world. If when people say things that are potentially provocative, or, "Oh, you didn't wash the dishes," or, "Oh, yeah, of course you'd like to get the drink first," whatever it is, provocative thing, if you can react with playfulness and joyful energy and a vibe, you'll be a winner at life.
Number five: Elevate your routine. I can't believe we've almost got like 18 points, but number five, elevate your routine. Dream girls don't have a random, random, random routine. Even I try with my young, young children, and I don't have family around here to help. My mom lives in London, but even I try and implement routines because without routines, empires fall. Okay? You need to have things that you anchor your day with. I like to drink Hydrate water by LMNT. Not an ad, but that's what I drink because I try and maintain a keto diet at the moment. It makes my brain powerful. If you're watching this video, you're like, "Margarita, it's like 20, 30 minutes long." If you're listening to this podcast, you're like, "Wow, this is incredible." That's because of keto, because my brain is firing at a different capacity. Okay, so create a morning routine. Align with how you want to feel during that day. Meditation, exercise, journaling. "I don't have time, Margarita." You don't have time? I don't have time. I was trying to do butt workouts while my children were crawling all over me this morning. Okay? I just typed in onto onto YouTube, "Build glutes after motherhood," and I was doing that. Okay? And children enjoy it. You will enjoy it. Arch time in your life. Learn English first. And then arch time in your life where you prioritize those things and exercises and routines.
Me next. If you want to be the dream girl, you need to prioritize yourself. Yeah, I know. Burn. You need to prioritize yourself. I know, I know, I know. How you want to prioritize your work? That man, you want to meditate on why he didn't text you back. You want to think about why he doesn't like you enough. You want to text your girlfriend about why he doesn't like you. Wrong. Every time you're thinking, "Oh, has Derek eaten? Have you eaten? Has, um, he, um, had a good sleep last night? Have you had a good sleep last night? Has he, you know, is he taking his vitamins? Have you taken your vitamins?" Refer it back to you. If you are used to being selfless because of the way society has built women these days, you need to learn to start being selfish. Selfish. Yes, I said selfish. Controversial. I know. Oh my god. Oh my god. We can't be selfish. If you, my friend, who's 99% selfless, will become a little bit more selfish, the world will survive. In fact, it will be better without you sacrificing yourself constantly. Okay? Self-care, nourishing meals. That is up to you how you do that. Do you want to be vegan because you need more vegetables? Do you want to be keto because you want to have brain powers like me? What do you want in your life? Cultivate it. Do some research. Put yourself first. Treat yourself like a beloved pet because I know you love your pets and you will put energy and time into them. Protect your well-being. If he wants to eat at 9:00, but you know your body works well with eating at six, then you don't eat with him. You understand your well-being. You come first. That is dream girl energy. And if you need to counsel on him because you need to clip your hamster's nails, then that makes you all the more attractive. I don't know why, but there is a notion that you like, I had this, and it's a vulnerability of mine. I always want to make people comfortable. I will run around, break my back, trying to make people happy, but it actually makes them unhappy. I do this all the time. Like my husband will mention, "M, I like, um, blue Lucozade." And I'm like, "Great, I've got to go get that now." I don't have that time in my day. And then I'll go get it, and I'm like, "Here's your blue Lucozade." He's never said that, but let's imagine. And he's like, "Oh, I don't feel like it." I'm like, "You don't feel like it? I went all the way to get it for you." That's mothering energy. I don't do that anymore, by the way. I don't do that anymore. But you can't do that. You can't put your goodwill, toxic goodwill in quotations, and expect to win at life. But that's for another, for another theme.
Number six: Create an abundant mindset. Shift your mind to abundant thinking. If you are jealous of someone or you're envious of someone, you're like, "Oh, she's got everything. I don't." You need to shift your mind to abundance. There is enough for everybody. When I see somebody achieve something that I want, I think, "Oh my god, yes, Universe, God, you're showing me that it's possible. Someone else has done it, and I can do it too. It is possible." And you know, people used to run a certain speed, and then when the record's broken, suddenly everybody starts running at that speed. Have you ever noticed that? That's what happens. An abundance mindset can really be cultivated and created through gratitude journaling. I did gratitude journaling for about three months, and it changed my life. That is how I started my career, wrote my book, opened my podcast, everything. Before that, I did not know exactly what to do or where to go. For some reason, I had like blocks and confusion about exactly how to execute my business. And I didn't even have a son back then or my daughter. And I was like, "Oh, I don't know what to do. I don't have enough time." I don't have enough time. That's funny. That's funny. Before you have kids, and I didn't have a full-time job, so that's even funnier. And the thing is, I was like, walking around the world wondering what to do. And then I got my gratitude journal. Goral, that is some powerful [ __ ]! When you write down every day three things that you are grateful for, your mind opens up to abundance. When I got to writing in that journal, for some reason, things just fell into place. I think you must make the best of what you have while you have it, and gratitude allows you to do that.
And another part of this step is detachment. Detachment from outcomes. I have so many videos on this on my channel. If you're listening to this or if you're watching this, go on my channel, write my name, write "Detachment," and watch it. If you can detach yourself from people's opinions of you, from certain results, or how things develop, it's, it's a very interesting and pivotal point. Before detachment, you will feel like when somebody doesn't reply to you, when somebody doesn't like you, when somebody doesn't validate you, your world's literally crumbling around you. But that's not the truth. You are the one who's got to know that you have your back, no matter what, and you will be fine. Whether they choose you, don't choose you, like you, don't like you. You need to give people that freedom to want to be with you or to not be with you. You have to let people live. Don't you want to know if somebody authentically wants to be with with you without changing yourself, without breaking your back in order to appease them, to make them like you, to make them value you? It's crazy that the reality is you need to detach from outcomes to become that dream girl. Because if you have desperate energy and you're very attached to things, trust and believe the universe, men, everything will not give you what you want. Detachment is the key to attracting more and better things.
Number seven: Own your own unique flavor and brand. And that is a good way to talk about feminine energy. When we talk about feminine energy, and everyone talks about, "Okay, so you got to wear skirts, you got to appear very feminine, you got to look a certain way because then he'll treat you like a lady." No, it's got to be an authentic energy that comes from you. Choose two archetypes of feminine energy. Let's say Angel Jolie and Bridget Bardot, and embody those together. When I talk about white cat energy and dark cat energy, or black cat energy, and that is to embody light feminine and dark feminine. I started talking about white cat energy because there's so many women who are like, "I can't relate to the allure and mystery. I can't keep him on red." There is something to be said about like feminine that is playful, joyful, open. But what they both have in common is strong boundaries. What is feminine energy? I'll break it down to you at its essence. Old-school girls have this, whether they are white cats or black cats, whether they're light feminine or dark feminine. They have this in common. What they have in common is that number one, they are the ones who select. The feminine selects. The masculine does the doing. And the feminine does the selecting. As in, the man presents. I can do this like a bird that dances with its feathers, and the gray, non-eventful little bird is like, "Yep, I like that. I don't like that." She never has a qualm in her head about, "I've got a bit of dark feathers. I'm a bit like gray and not so entertaining." She never thinks about that. She's like, "I am the dog's bollocks, and I love myself. And, you know, he's entertaining me, and I am the selector. I, the chooser." That is feminine energy. And another realm of feminine energy is boundaries, AKA being able to say no. No, I don't like that. No, don't do that. If you want access to me, no. Or yes. The gatekeeper of that. Okay? So you need to lead with feminine energy and not be afraid to set boundaries and say what you want. And a mix of the two, the dark feminine and light feminine, is chef's kiss, amazing.
Step eight: You need to curate a social life because without a social life, you will be hung up on John when John doesn't even want a bar of you. I have become a workaholic recently, and I look after my children and I work. And I consciously, consciously am going to be vulnerable with you. I'm forcing myself to cultivate my friendships. You often write to me, "What does it mean to be in feminine energy and cultivate friendships?" I am traversing that step for you, ladies. I know what it means, but to practice it is a different thing. At the end of the day, you cannot expect one person, AKA your husband, and I don't expect this from my husband or partners, not that I have both, but you know what I mean, for you guys, partners or husbands, but for me, my husband, I don't expect him to be both and show up as both. It's impossible for one person to be your sister, best friend, cousin, auntie, duela, wife, midwife, everyone, right? It's impossible. And it gives a bad twist to the relationship and it kills sensuality and sexuality. So it's very, very important to cultivate female friendships and to make them important. You need to create networks. Hence why I've started opening up my podcast to interview format. And some people have been like, "No, we just want to hear you talk." And I love to hear me talk. I love that, girl. But I'm like, I want to learn from incredible women. And hopefully, if you like me, you want to see me learn, you want to see me grow, or you want to see me, uh, counteract what those women say and maybe have a conversation where our two minds as women grow into something interesting. Because if you isolate yourself in your world, you don't have those pivotal women to fall back on. And part of womanhood, and what is interesting and amazing about womanhood, is that when we are together, we are amazing.
Number nine is: Prioritize your emotional well-being. And for me, that is being active instead of reactive. You need to cultivate how you act in your life. You can't always be flying off the handle, getting upset, writing people long text messages about why they upset you. The best thing you can do when somebody upsets you or somebody doesn't validate your feelings is decide how you want to represent yourself in this world and act in that way towards that person. You cannot always be jumping to conclusions and deciding how you want to punish somebody because they didn't write to you, or you've just started dating and suddenly you want to tell them how bad they made you feel and all these things. You need to have some emotional prowess and some detachment, like I said. You need to, if somebody ghosts you, let them go. You need to have a liberty in your life. And a dream girl never tries to control other people. I will tell you that right now for free. The way to cultivate a more powerful mindset and kind of relying on your own thoughts and not always feeling like you need somebody to apologize to you or to always be there for you is coaching, therapy, and all those things. You need to delve into your mind and understand that even the most prettiest package can drive people away, like when girls act completely crazy by relying completely on somebody else when they should be relying on their own mental and their own mental attitude and deciding how they want to proceed in the world, as opposed to relying completely on the fact that if he replies to you, then you're okay, and if he doesn't reply to you, then you're a total mess. You need to invest in your mind. And like I said, social circle and therapy, meditation, or whatever it is you want to do. But you've got to prioritize the mental. Being mentally sound and being balanced and hormonally balanced comes in the realm of that. That is really, really, really a priority if you want to be a dream girl this coming year.
Number 10: If you want to be that dream girl, you need to develop a career that gives you flexibility at the same time of being able to embrace your feminine energy. I'm going to talk about this later in content. If you want, just let me know you want to know it. But I developed a career around the fact that I wanted to be present in motherhood and at the same time be around my children, but also do something that I'm really passionate about, and that is self-development, feminine energy, and how women appear in their marriages. I went and I did a diploma in life coaching and I cultivated something that I could do in my own time around that. I think it's such a big flex and an incredible thing to do for a woman to work around something that she is creatively passionate about and she can cultivate and make an income from. You need to sit down and decide what can you do on the side? We no longer, there's very rare people who stick with one job for the rest of their lives, like a lawyer or something, and that's all they do and that's all they ever want to do. If that's you, if you're a lawyer or a doctor and you want to go to a university, learn it, and then do it, fantastic, because it's already a setup for that, right? But if you kind of want to dabble, write a book, be a stay-at-home mom, but also be flexible, there is ways to do that. There is personal branding and ways to do that that I could tell you more about. But if you want to be a dream girl, I would encourage you to start thinking about ways that you can, yes, be provided for by the man that you want to be with, and that's great. But if you haven't met him yet, or if you want to buy things that you want, he might not be able to afford. Because at the end of the day, relying on his salary and not going 50/50, I vouch for and I believe in, and I've told you about till the cows come home, right? But I also don't think that you should expect to live, live it a certain life. It's all nice that you like six-foot, six-figures, six-pack, but that's not all men. And there's some amazing men who don't earn that kind of salary and have a blue-collar job or something, right? So if you can make an income that you can have for your things that you want, that's an amazing thing to have and it's a cool thing to do. Now, if you don't want that and you want to be a stay-at-home wife completely and you rely on your man, that's also great. But I think you need to have an understanding of your finances regardless, with him, and by yourself, or what you want to do, what you want to invest in, how you want to invest in your mind. It's all about growth, growth, growth, growth, growth. A dream girl is never not growing. That is always happening.
Next, you need to be intentional about your surroundings. I just put everything everywhere around my house because my life is so busy, and like I said, I'm a workaholic right now because I'm so passionate about what I do and bringing you this. I'm just very passionate about it. I don't know what is wrong with me. It's probably the ketones in my brain. But I'm so passionate about it. So I just dump everything everywhere. It's not dirt, it's mess. And then I go about my day. But I decided to clear up my dining table, as in like, I DP books and my computer and a set of keys and my kids' toy and everything. It's just there, right? I decluttered this room. And let me tell you, my productivity, happiness, joy, manifestation energy, all of it went through the roof. I was so happy about it. If you want to be the dream girl, you need to cultivate your space. I saw a creator, um, on TikTok say that she knows somebody is that girl when she sees that they have a bowl of Polaroids. Excuse light. The light decided to move. We move. When she has this bowl of Polaroids, and I have a bowl of Polaroids, I was like, "Oh my god, I am that girl. I am that dream girl. I have a bowl of Polaroids. This is me. Oh my god, I'm amazing." But anyway, it's just about cultivating beauty in the space. I completely feel like my mom is iconic with this. She is that girl when it comes to making her life stylish and seamless in all those ways. She has all these anchors of style around her home. Tidiness, aesthetic vibes, candles. When you look at those things, you feel a sense of peace, and it's a feminine thing that you are adding to your home, and it can make you feel very, very grounded and like that dream girl. We, girl, love the aesthetic.
Next, personal brand. I just rebranded my podcast because I felt like, and my management felt like, I'd evolved since I started it in the year and a half. Amazing, I know. But I just wanted to communicate in in in a tangible way how I'm feeling and how I'm moving through the space. It's like crazy. You get this one life. I saw another creator, I think it was Valeria Etki, does a photo shoot every birthday that she has. And I was just amazed. It was really beautiful. It was really nice. And I thought, "What a cool thing to do that you can kind of pinpoint your feelings and vibes and energy and mood every year." Not that I would do a photo shoot every year, but I, not because I'm not a model, supermodel, I like her. So I'm like, "I can't be asked." But I like that feeling. I like that energy. And I like the idea of personal branding. If you look at anybody who's that girl, they've got that personal brand going on. They, they know exactly what they're doing. They move through space in a certain way. Go online, find out about personal branding and how you cultivate a personal brand and take action in that. But with yourself, because how we appear online right now, in social media and everything, could be potentially your future career. So think about how you appear. Think about how you look in the world. Think about refining your personal style, your message, and the impact that you want to have, and how people see you, and how they reflect.
Next, main, main, a high vibration energy. High vibes. Don't speak badly about people. Don't gossip. Eat healthy. Put good food into your mouth. I once saw a guru say, "For food that looks repulsive to you, don't eat it." It means that you are connecting to your body and you're starting to to understand what is going to make your body thrive and what won't. You need to start to understand that your body has visceral reactions to the foods it eats. Make choices from a high, elevated state. Engage in hobbies that make you feel alive and lively. Don't talk to people that make you feel down because energetically, you might sense that the person doesn't have very good intentions for you. Detox from negativity and start distancing yourself from negative people, people who are always criticizing, people who don't have the best intentions for you, people who are not kind to you. Start to move away from that.
The last thing I'll say before the night falls, because I feel like that's what's happening, we're getting very cozy and niche in here, is that if you are feeling like you might break from this cultivation of this dream girl energy, that's fine. You can. Don't throw the whole book out. If you wrote the date wrong, like I said about being in the school girl experience, like I used to like write 1st of September, and I used to get it like wrong, moderately, and I'd be like, "Oh, I got to get another book." You know, I didn't get another book because we weren't allowed. But I would want to. Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater, okay? Everything is going to be okay. Have anchors in your life. Little moments. A candle, this, or a that. I talk about it a lot in my course, "Become Her." Check out my website. If you have not watched "Feminine Energy: 20 Principles," where have you been? This will anchor you in exactly that dream girl energy. It's a 2-hour masterclass that I've put my heart and soul into. It's $50. So check it out. It is very, very important you anchor in that energy. Thank you for watching. I hope to see you on the next one. Love you lot, jelly tots. Bye.