Transcription
All right, today we got Emerson Rose.
"How do you psychology to successfully flirt with your crush or anyone for that matter? Please don't listen to anyone when they tell you that flirting is about having a pickup line. There is no line. We create tension. You need to make it feel like there's a secret between the two of you. Opening with a compliment is a good way for you to."
"You don't make her feel there's a secret, there already is. When you enter into a space where a girl is, she either likes you already or doesn't. So, it's a yes or no, it's very binary right out the gate. Ideally, you know how to pick up on the fact that you're a yes without her saying it and that's now the secret. That's the more accurate framing."
"Set the tone of what this interaction is about. My favorite way to do this is to say something where they can't really tell if it's a compliment or not. Stick with me. Nice outfit. Don't elaborate. Just let them think about it. And you are complimenting them, but you know, you don't have to be like, 'I love this about it and it's so cute.'"
"This reminds me of the concept known as negging. This is very similar as giving someone a backhanded compliment but a little bit more subtle. So, it's a little bit more feminine in nature, I will say."
"Keep it short and simple and confident. You want to flatter them, compliment something specific about them like their taste or something that maybe other people don't bring up very often."
"Or a choice. When I say choice, I usually mean something like a fashion statement or a hair color or something like this. It's always best to compliment a decision they made because it's something that they can control and it's unique to them because they chose it rather than just being given something like blue eyes or big lips or something like this."
"Done. Now, if they ask you a question about yourself, you can keep things fun by telling them to guess. This one is not psychology but I think it's really fun and it tends to work. Like if they ask you what you do for a living or if they say do you."
"It is psychology, of course it is. Every time you ask them to guess, you're now inviting them into investment, okay? So, now they're doing the whole uh well, all that kind of stuff. Now, I used to do this exact game all the time, but now I've almost outgrown that where I felt like I've used this so much that it became boring. So, now this is how I set it up. Classic start of conversation with a new person, oh how old are you, where'd you go to school or something like this, what program did you graduate? I make a joke out of all the basic questions now, so when someone asks me like age-based question or something like this, I say, 'Now we're going to play that classic guessing game where I'm going to tell you to guess, and I have to think to yourself which direction you're going to guess so that you either flatter me or don't offend me or something like this.' I basically make a mockery out of the whole getting to know each other thing because a lot of times if someone likes you, they like you as filling in the gaps, but really they don't really care all that much. It's more just something that you need to do. It's almost like a formality really, right?"
"Playing a sport. Just say, 'Guess.' And it gives them something fun to react to rather than just boring old conversation."
"I've also done crazy guesses too where I went up to a girl start talking to her. I say to her, 'I feel like I know exactly what your sport is.' And then I say a skater or a skier or something like this. I basically try to classify them under a certain sport. And now it accomplishes the same thing psychologically because they're trying to guess what am I implying by saying they're a skier or a skater or a I don't know, skateboarder or something like this, right? They're trying to figure out is that a positive thing or a negative thing? And that thinking is important, right? Because it makes them question where they stand with you. Hey guys, before we keep going, I want to mention that I have a dating course that goes over all the essential concepts you need when it comes to modern dating. I put the link in the description, so make sure to check it out. Let's get back to the video."
"And you can say, 'Let me guess yours.' And make a playful assumption about them, which brings us back to the psychology, allowing them to further react to your words. Now, soft teasing, but only about low-stakes things, like what drink they're drinking or what coffee they order."
"This is always a razor's edge game because you can't know exactly what low stakes are, and I'm a bit of a gambler this way. I like to play high stakes. The reason I like high stakes is a guys because it determines right then and there which direction they're going to swing. If they play into it even when you say something insane, this potentially could work or will work. If they start getting really mad or they bite the bait the wrong way, now you already know you're going to start on shaky soil because if a girl is that sensitive, then I'll be honest, she's probably not going to be for me anyways. Now, for a lot of guys, being risque kind of comes with some sort of risky perception or whatever. They're really attached to getting a specific girl. You can play the low-risk option if you really want to, but in my opinion, you just go all in. Um and that's the one thing I think is different to what she's saying. She's still talking about a little bit from the feminine perspective where for them, taking the high-risk option usually isn't worth it. When I say taking the high-risk option from the perspective of the girl, I'm talking about a test. The last thing you want to do as a girl if you really like the guys take a high-risk test where you attack the guy's ego because most guys won't be able to perceive that as a sign of attraction. So, it's doesn't really work out in their favor most of the time. As a guy, though, I'm heavily in favor of high-risk if I'm being honest. Now, there are certain social settings where you probably want to be a little bit pulled back, and I understand that if you're trying to play a certain type of game, but I'm just telling you what my recommendations are."
"You can tease the way they said something, but never tease their intelligence or make them feel embarrassed."
"No, I don't always believe in this. Sometimes you have to know how to dabble with the negative. This is where she's being a little bit PC. Now, she may not like it. Like a lot of girls, they don't like it in the moment, right? They claim they don't like it, it's uncomfortable, but being able to sometimes play and and flirt with the negative isn't always to a disadvantage. It's sometimes it's that high-risk play that can work out for you. Now, obviously, high-risk means you might trigger some egos, and that happens sometimes, but if they really like you, they're going to play along with your game because they know that you aren't actually being serious. You're just throwing out a test to see how they're going to respond. Maybe I'm just a crazy freak that likes the super advanced tests. Like, if I went up to this girl and I said something crazy, I highly doubt that she would immediately walk away because it's just too interesting. There's just not enough guys that are willing to do something crazy or say something insane, especially not to someone like her, right? So, how much you want to bet that she would probably respond to something in the negative spectrum."
"Some people might be into that. I'm really not into that. You can also create a tiny inside joke. If something funny happens, name it in the moment, make a joke about it, or kind of make it blatant. Bring it up later if something else reminds you of it. This is called a callback joke, and it makes people feel like you guys have a shared history. Also, slow down in your interactions. When people are nervous or flirting, they tend to talk a lot or they speak really fast, but just take it slow. Make slow eye contact and speak a little bit slower. Pause in between. Keep a little smile on your face so that even if things get a little quiet, which they probably won't, it's still all in good fun. Flirting works best when you create a mix of uncertainty and comfort. So, if you can come in with a comfortable energy and then bring the uncertainty with your like jokes and your playfulness, it's a recipe for a fun and engaging conversation. And if you don't walk away with the person, that's totally fine because now you just got some good practice. Keep it warm, playful, and just slightly unpredictable."
"I can't ignore the obvious performative of this, but at least you guys get to see it firsthand that girls might be able to lead you very, very close to the truth, but never to the complete truth. It's almost impossible to play the dominant position as a man if you're so governed by arbitrary rules and boundaries. You have to be able to, only when required of course, indicate that you can go above and beyond the rules and that you don't care about them. You just live by them because you know that it's the right thing to do for the sake of the peace, let's say. Don't get stuck with playing too safe because she might call it good practice. The only way you learn boundaries is by blowing through some of these social rules, right? Things that you can or can't say or why you can't say them. You learn those boundaries way better when you flirt with the law. It also teaches you more about women because you'd be surprised at how far you can take things and how much they're willing to entertain you if they actually like you. If you like this video, like and subscribe. Make sure to check my links in the description below."