Transcription
So Liam, do we want to continue down that road and invite Amy into it, or shall we tangent? I mean, I went pretty in-depth about stuff on Wednesday, on our Tuesday. But yeah, like, for me, one of the things I've started to pick up on and learn about life in general, especially as I try to work on being a better parent, is how every human, at a base level, requires power and control. That's what we're always looking for. We're always craving. Like, from a basic level, like when when kids are born and babies are born, they may look to have that power. And it's how it, what you do within how you go about it, that separates people with their intentions. So when it comes to things like fears, doubts, anxiety, depression, all of that, what I think is the most terrifying about it is because people feel they're out of control. And that's what's scarier than than anything else.
One thing about being in control, people sometimes don't learn the awareness of how many things around them are going on in spite of them.
Yeah.
Because if they realize all that stuff is already handled.
Yeah.
And they don't suddenly need to be in control of it in order to be okay. Because the more you are able to just let it be, allow the things that handle themselves to continue to do so, life is so much easier that way.
Yeah.
Amy knows this. I'll probably never bring me into this.
No, I bring you in. That's how it works. It's for me, as I as I dive more into one, my own personal development, two, into being a better parent, and three, into the personal development of others. It's all these concepts linked together pretty well. And it usually comes down to power and control. I don't mean power as in like wanting to take over the universe and the world, but to to feel that little bit of power.
So how would that.
Why some people.
How does that power show up in the parent-child relationship?
So for me, it's the, um, there's a power struggle when a kid is told to do something. "You do this." "No, I'm not doing that." "I've told you to do this." "No, I'm not doing that." And that creates a power struggle. And the kid's got their idea, well, this is my moment. I want control of this situation. I want the power. And be able to say no and go, "Okay, it's accepted." Feels powerful. So for me, you have to word it in different ways. One, don't make it a demand because no one likes to be told what to do. That's as simple as that. Even as an adult, I still don't like it. And it's more of a guidance than anything else. So you don't feel like you're taking the power away from, especially if they're doing something. Granted, you don't want kids on tablets all the time. But for me, I notice that's where the bigger power struggle comes in. If my daughter's sitting on her tablet and I've asked her to put it down, then I'm probably going to get told no because she doesn't want to because she likes her tablet. And that's where the heels get dug in. And it's trying to work out the ways about that. I'm still struggling with it because it's not exactly easy. Um, but I think that's what it is. And with kids, they still try to find their place in the world very, very early on to try to figure out where they fit. The world is always changing and the comfort zone and everything's always expanding all the time. Like they're this little world that we live in is just ever expanding. And then when boundaries get pushed a little bit, it expands more. And it's just trying to figure out how to give how to give people as much power as possible without it being too much. That's the kind of tricky part.
What I heard in your example, you know, the kid, you tell the kid to do something and they say, "No, I'm not going to do it." And that starts the power struggle. What I heard in that example is it boils down to whose decision matters.
Yeah. And that kind of allows for the opportunity to get more into they say it your job versus their job. So my job is this, my job as a parent, and as a parent, I'm responsible for this. And that's why I understand that what I'm asking is important. And I realize that you, as a kid, you you don't get that.
Because that's not your job as a kid.
Sometimes a little bit of "why" can go a long way.
Yeah. I always follow up for why. And it's early on, it would be a case of, "Can you do this?" "Why?" "Because I told you to." It's not really a reason, is it? Because that's what my parents did. Because I told you to, and what I say, go, sort of thing. And I really back to I I'm very different police officer to to most, I will say that. And I I brought that into the kind of parent style because I would never say, "Someone do that." I'd always say, "Look, I need you to do this, and here's why." And give them the reasoning. And back up, or you can't go down this way because of X, Y, and Z. If they then still go, "Well, I'm doing it anyway," that's a different matter altogether. Because but you've explained it. And that can usually remove a lot of that power struggle. So it comes to tablet and say, "Look, I need you to put down your tablet right now because it's time for bed. If you don't go to sleep, you're going to be really cranky tomorrow. And if you're going to be exhausted, you're going to be tired. You're going to feel horrible. You're going to feel sick. It's better to go to bed now, get some nice rest, and you'll feel even better tomorrow, and you can go back to it the next day." Sometimes I got a no and go, "Well, the result of that is, if you don't, you're not going to get your tablet tomorrow." Fine. Okay.
You You can also add what their crabiness, how that would affect the people around them. If you're crabby, you're going to talk to your your brother like this, and your brother's going to be upset, and your brother might not want to play with you all day. Is that what you want? Because when you get to an when you get to an unmet need that really means something to them, now you've got leverage.
Mhm. I remember reading that one. Unmet needs. It's an interesting concept because I do like to read the care parent books to understand more about it.
Huge.
That's why it's why we do anything. We're trying to meet a need.
Yeah.
It was it was in that same book that we kind of kind of where the realization about problems comes into how you think. What to what to you seems like nothing, to them is massive. And you don't diminish it, no matter how small you think a problem is, which I suppose would come into account it needs.
Yeah.
When we're talking neurodivergence.
One of the big underlying issues is sensory regulation. So we can do a lot of stuff. Oh, you know, I just need to get up and move. I just feel like I need to pace. Uh, I'm sitting there fidgeting with a pen the whole time. And you have no idea why. And someone will take that down, "Stop that, it's driving me crazy." But you might not know why you were doing it. And you don't want the other person to get mad at you, so you put it down.
Yeah.
And now you're not paying attention to them because you're focused so much on how squirmy you feel now without a pen.
Yeah.
I'm definitely a definitely a fidgeter. And if this happened at work, was accused of fidgeting, and I'll just go, uh, no.
When I have access to a big big part of the couch, I can't stay in one position. I'll sit, then I'll lay down. Then maybe I'll put the, the footrest up. I'll lean back for a while, and then while the footrest is still up, oh, I'll just, you know, lay down again.
Yeah.
Like my my old this, I reckon both my kids probably have ADHD. It's unlikely that they won't because I have and I'm pretty sure our wife has. So therefore, chances are they have.
It's pretty much a guarantee.
Yeah. And it's it's it is [ __ ] frustrating and it is irritating, annoying, but it's also trying to remember it's not on purpose. It feels like they're doing things just to wind you up, but they're not. It's just trying to remember that. Then well, kids in general, really push parents' buttons. There's I don't know of any kid that doesn't frustrate their parent.
Yeah.
It's kind of their job.
Yeah.
But I don't know how you operate with your kids, but in many cases, a person's own difficulty with their frustration tolerance can make their response to their kids' behavior worse.
Yeah.
Because they'll more likely blow up at their kids more often and scare the hell out of the kid.
Yeah.
And I understand doing that on occasion.
I get lot louder than I give myself credit for.
Yeah. Like I don't I don't realize how loud my voice is at the best of times. Like and has said that a few times as well. Like the way I speak can sometimes come across quite aggressive. It's not intentional. It's just the tone and how it gets used. Um, and I I always try to remind myself that, oh crap, might sound aggressive. I think the kids to extent are are kind of used to that tone now because it's just how I speak. Um, it's not with any agitation behind it. It's just the tone. It's just how I talk when I use my normal speaking voice.
Um, so they kind of me it's dad.
Okay. So they kind of take the volume with a grain of salt.
Yeah. Cuz I know that's that's my usual normal speaking tone a lot of the time. There isn't a singing song of voice where I speak to them. I speak to them the way I speak to most people. I've always tried to talk to kids as adults. Um, but I am aware that sometimes that can be a bit on aggressive sounding. If I ever make it your way.
We're going to go to a pub and just yell at each other so people can stare and say, "So, are they deaf or something?"
They won't because that's how people talk to each other in Glasgow.
Like, and in Glasgow, it's very, very common. Like, you can't tell if someone's arguing or talking because it sounds exactly the same, man. Well, I'm going to have to do a deep dive into the culture and see what that's about.
Yeah, it's I think it's just just how we speak, especially in Glasgow. Glasgow more than other places. A lot of things come across very aggressive in Glasgow cuz my wife's not from Glasgow. That's why it sounds aggressive to her. She's from Ursa, which is a little bit different of a style of speaking. Again, um, I'm not from Glasgow, but I've been around it for so many years now that comes out. And the place I'm from is just outside Glasgow. So we pick up some of their mannerisms. And when I speak to people online, I soften my voice massively so people can understand me. But this isn't how I would normally sound. It's a little bit more straight toned and it's a little bit harsher sounding.
Wow, that must be an experience.
It makes things interesting.
Hey, Relle. Hello.
How you doing, my friend?
Oh, how are you?
You got a good tea there, have you?
Matcha.
Very nice. Do you put anything in it?
Oh, no.
It's great, huh?
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's a it's a good one. I mean, otherwise I'll like do some froth up some milk and then do like make a little latte out of it. But yeah. So, anything top of mind for you?
Um, like not so much in a personal sense, but um I've been babysitting for my friend uh a few more like a bit more lately. In the past month.
I spent two whole days babysitting um cuz she was going into Vancouver. Uh so, um yeah. So, I spent two nights there. Um, and so her kid is is autistic. He's 7 years old. Um, fairly non-verbal, like he doesn't really communicate in sentences, but he his learning to kind of read and speak and stuff. So like that much is it's interesting to kind of like see, you know, it's uh I'm not really sure where or anything I'm getting at, but um
So are you babysitting this child?
Sorry. Yeah, I'm babysitting sometimes. Yeah.
Okay. Any issues?
I mean, some like there's moments when I'm like, okay. like things just went easy peasy with this part. And then there's others it's just like um like like I was trying to get him out the door for school and he was just kind of having a little bit of a meltdown and I'm like I don't know what to do right now. Okay. Uh and so I'm like I don't know if we're going to get him to school today. So I don't know. I feel like I'm handling everything very very well. Like like he can be I don't know. It's it's stressful sometimes, but it's less like he just doesn't eat something that's sitting out for him for hours. Okay. Is he going to go to bed without anything proper to eat? Okay. I don't know.
Have your Have the parents told you whether what you've experienced are the same issues they have?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I've hug I've spent time with her and him. Um well I I mean I've since like May is kind of like when we started hanging out and then I started you know seeing what he's like. I wouldn't have babysat him if I hadn't spent any time with him before cuz you know I just wouldn't know how if I just suddenly saw a meltdown. I just be like.
I don't deal with kids in general and not uh, you know. So yeah. Um,
So one thing they need to figure out is how to transition him from the home to the the school. Does he go is he driven there? Does he go on a bus?
Um, he's driven there unless somebody may be watching him in the morning cuz she has to work like random hours. So she just kind of gets, you know, help and support from friends. Um, so otherwise sometimes gets walked there. That's kind of like a 10-15 minute walk. Um, yeah. I don't know. It's Yeah, there sounds.
Like you're making it work.
I was making it work. Yeah. I'm not sure if there's any issue exactly to talk about, I guess, but I mean there I mean a lot of his, you know, there's obviously a lot of in his personal development, but you just every everybody every kid is going to be different anyway. So.
There's no way to say what timeline he could possibly be on. Yeah.
But as far as you, everything is easy peasy squared away.
I feel like I'm easy peasy. Yeah, for I mean, for the most part, I mean, yeah.
It's wonderful.
Yeah.
Have there been any lessons that you've learned.
As part of what's making things easy peasy? Not at the top of my head.
How are you with your systems? Things to help you make things work?
I think pretty I don't know pretty good. Like is there any kind of process that you have to deal with that you feel frustrated and procrastinate because you're still using your head to do it?
I mean, I can never understand how many dishes pile up in a day or two as a single woman. Um.
It's far more than you expected.
Yeah.
You're you're an achiever. You know, you're a go-getter. What can we say?
Yeah. Yeah. It's uh you know how I'm like, how many cups did I actually just go through in the past two days? Wait, I did have guests. I had guests. Oh, okay. That's why there's a couple extra. Good. Not just me.
You even forget whether you had guests.
Uh I mean, not really. It's just like just suddenly like like look at like the pile of like dirty stuff. It's like oh my god. Oh, that's why. If you have working memory issues, it's easy to forget stuff.
Like in seconds because there's such little capacity for memory that it only takes in information about what you're doing right now.
Right.
Pushed out. Then you go and look at it and all of a sudden, oh, that's right.
Now you have room for it for, I don't know, five seconds and you switch back to what you were doing and you forget again.
Yeah. Well, it's I I I'll experience the like overwhelm paralysis of like I don't feel like doing that task right now. So, I mean, no, I don't really see it as much of a big issue. It's just I know I'm going to come around to it and take care of things.
So.
The way you do things, it works out.
Yeah. One thing I am very excited about is that finally um my like I had a roommate for a long time. Um and then he kind of didn't intentionally move out and had been away for a year and I still like had a lot of his stuff with me just cuz um I wasn't just going to like sell and get rid of it. like I knew somehow things were going to arrange and eventually he did come back and was stayed with me for like a month and now he's been another month in transition in between getting a new place and so now he's like yesterday yeah yesterday he like actually moved out a lot of his stuff from the other room so I got to expand out into another room and have the whole place be my own energy and I feel like there's going to be a big shift in how I operate because it's like not me being like, "Oh, that's uh, you know, like I like how however my current room and living room, it could all get rearranged. I don't I don't know. It's going to be at some point I'm just going to walk around in circles and stare and that's how it's going to go."
Yeah. I would say that it would change energy.
Yeah.
Because depending on who your partner is, that could really muddy the waters. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's that he was also a lot more ADHD. So, like he uh I feel like there's certain kinds of like I don't know how to say empathetic habits of being of myself being a bit more disorganized than I think I would normally be on my own and just having his stuff here in my atmosphere. I feel I feel like on my own I'll be a lot more kind of on top of things. It's it's it's interesting. But I feel like there has been a difference in my own energy kind of conquering my space than than with the feeling of like there's an unsettled this isn't all mine. I don't know if that makes sense.
I think so. you you get more hesitant in your own space.
Possibly.
We had somebody else come in. I'm not sure how to say your name. I don't want to butcher it.
You're on mute.
Sorry, I just realized I'm Shamsa.
Okay, just like I thought it was going to be. Thank goodness.
Yeah. Yeah, just as it sounds. I thought I'd just hop on as I actually had time today and I've not managed to do one of these calls before. So, hi.
Thrilled to have you. The time change has kind of monkeyed things up in terms of when people are are coming into the call, but we're always glad to have you for whatever you can manage. So, what brings you to the call?
Just being nosy today. Um, I've not been on the Thursday calls before and I believe you, um, are a specialist in an area which I'd be quite interested to find out more about.
Yep. So, what questions are top of mind for you?
I think I'm just here to observe just now. I've not really got anything that I want to talk about in particular. Um, I'm more kind of just like being nosy about what you do and what you say, I guess.
Well, one thing I was going to mention to piggyback on what Michelle was saying, I went out, my wife and I went out with a couple and the guy got a little hotheaded with me because I'd asked him a question and he had answered that question several minutes before. And I had to stop right there and I said, "Look, my working memory is in the third percentile. I barely remember anything." So that's why that happens. And his wife said something too, like, "Oh, thank you for telling us that." And things were a lot smoother after that.
Little self-advocacy for the win. Nice.
But that was, you know, Michelle was talking about, you know, the the dishes need to be done and she'll often find herself spotting the dishes and saying, "Whoa, what's that all about? How did it how did it get that bad?" And it's that easy to forget things when you have got slippery working memory.
That's why I write down everything. I wrote a post earlier that I have a done list, which is not a new concept, but I don't know how many people do it. I know people that are neurodivergent, especially ADHD, almost refuse to write things down like it was part of a religion. They want to keep it all in their head and they drive themselves nuts. They're not organized. They forget stuff like crazy. And yet they still think that somewhere in their noggin, they should be able to get it handled. It's never going to happen. I write down everything I have to do. I put as many alarms on it as I can. When it's done, it goes in the done list because my memory is so lousy. At the end of the day, I had to remember one or two things and then beat myself up how unproductive I was that day.
Because I forgot everything else I did. And sometimes my wife would ask me a question and it will remind me of something I did.
And I'll say, "Man, I totally forgot about that."
It was gone.
I like I do like having my calendar that like I can, you know, I I write my main appointments in the day, whatever.
And then I kind of like to add some extra, okay, he maybe can do post about that or do that, you know. So then I give myself some nice check marks about what happened. So and then so like different I mean different days I'll put more intention into that on the calendar day. But it is kind of nice to be able to reflect and be and just like add tasks like, oh, and I did this. Oh, and I talked to this person, you know. And and everything counts, you know, as far as I'm concerned.
You know, if you say, "Oh, I remembered what I went in this other room for." Put it down.
That's an executive function win.
You know, like you rarely do that. Celebrate it.
That's true.
Because far too often people, I know the kiddos that are neurodivergent do this the most. They think of a good day meaning the absence of getting in trouble.
Teacher didn't yell me today. I didn't get bullied by that kid today. Was a good day. Well, where's the room for happiness?
Yeah.
The sooner you find that out, the the sooner you can start helping your kids see their day in a more balanced way. If bad things didn't happen, where are the wins?
You know, did you raise your hand and get a question right? Did you learn something new today? Did you learn a new joke by listening to somebody? Did you say something funny?
Yeah. Get them really primed to see that first. Ideally.
One one thing I actually did decide on was uh that my my podcast when I release an episode, it's always going to be now on a Monday. And that's whether I end up doing it weekly or bi-weekly. I'm I'm still okay with that kind of gap, whatever. But but I kind of realized in myself that I I have a fear of commitment and so I've never even like people like different podcasters are like, "Oh, I release on this day," you know, and I'm like, ah, I just go with the flow and stuff. But then that kind of ended up that resulted in me now, I'm not too worried about it, but it also resulted in me not doing any episodes all summer. Um, I was just kind of going with the flow of the summer. But then I'm also I'm just kind of starting to realize like these little things I'm like, I think I actually don't I have I think I have a fear of commitment. So at least I'm like, okay, that is an important thing for me. I'm going to choose Monday.
Is it a a fear of commitment or is it a fear of failing to measure up to expectations?
I guess there's some of that too. Yeah, but I know that if I like my schedule isn't completely full, so I really can commit to choosing a day in the week. Well, I mean, it doesn't matter which day that I actually record on as long as I'm making sure I get it out on Monday. That's kind of my, you know, but I don't really other than like certain Zoom calls coming from BBS or another membership that I'm in. It's just like these are my main things that I actually have every week. Well, yeah. I don't know. Other other outings, too. It's just Yeah.
How many interviews do you do a week?
Interviews?
Mhm.
Oh, none.
How about you interviewing people?
Oh, no. I I mean, I just I haven't been interviewing for the podcast lately. It's just talking.
Because I if you're just talking, that opens up some possibilities. If you did two episodes a week that you recorded, then you could keep up with the weekly schedule.
Right. And then I can just release whenever.
Because they end up building up in your reservoir because I interview two people a week and then right now I've got people I have a VA that does this for me. It's all scheduled out, I think, for either mid or the end of November.
So, if there's a week that I I can't do interviews, I can still breathe, you know.
Yeah.
No, that's that's really good idea.
Yeah. Besides that working memory, well, there are there are three boogers that I see, the three of the top gremlins. Working memory, emotional regulation, and all or nothing thinking.
Having dysregulation in any executive function is a problem, but those are the three that really affect how you interact with other people, how you make decisions.
M.
Because all or nothing means exactly that. It's all good or it's all bad. So you hear these people that say, "Man, this is the worst day of my life." And maybe something inconvenient happened, but they're putting so much attention into that they forget everything else.
They could have started out awesome. You know, the boss comes up to them, tells them how great they're doing. They're, you know, on this on cloud nine for a while. Then something else happens that really frustrates them and they get stuck on it.
And now it's it can't be good and frustrating. It's one or the other. Literally the day needs to be perfect for them to see it as a good day. You know, it was almost a perfect day. But if only this hadn't happened.
Yeah.
Come on. Look at the bright side. This good thing happened. Yeah, I know. But.
And it's meeting.
Go ahead.
Oh, I was going to say I I feel like I live pretty balanced in that. I mean, I know I can go through 100 emotions in a day. So.
Well, in the world that we're currently occupying, I can see that.
Yeah. Oh, I could be like I could I could be like crying and then I spark another thought and then I'm laughing. So.
So.
Does that work for you?
Yeah. Oh, also, yeah, the podcast is on Spotify. It's like everywhere. Yeah. Well, I'll catch up with that.
Does all of those emotional shifts. Does that work for you?
Yeah. Yeah. I'm used to myself. Yeah.
It's a Yeah. No, it's okay. And then I just start laughing at myself for like being there and then there. Being human is a pretty I don't think the word is entertaining, but there's a lot of awe in just watching. You know, I'm here and my chances of being here are 400 trillion, 400 trillion to one.
Mhm.
Of being born a human being out of anything else. Now, am I going to sit here and complain about everything? Am I going to get really into the the real housewives of whatever city it is now and get emotionally invested in that with my one out of 400 trillion chances? Or am I going to invest my attention on other things?
Right.
H.
But the fact that you can take a very like have a very loose relationships with your emotions like that, I can see being not being very useful for you. Ride the wave instead of fighting it.
Oh yeah. Exactly. Yeah. It also helps me handle, you know, I'm pretty balanced when it comes to other people's emotions, too. Kind of like the the kid that I was mentioning earlier. It's like if he has a if he's kind of having a tantrum, I'm just like you, you know, like seeing his mom, she has kind of I think what you were talking about with Liam, like the kind of like intense overwhelm or something. Um, so she'll struggle with her own stuff. She knows that she's what she needs to work on and everything, but I'll see her just kind of like but it's more intense when it's I think when it's your own kid, right? Like you have to deal with this these moments a lot more often. And so I'll see her kind of like freak out and I'm applauding myself in the not freaking out. I'm like, "Okay, I guess I'll just walk away and let you regulate yourself." And it works.
So.
I I I've also seen like the ADHD superpower of like a little inconvenience can cause a meltdown, but some other like big event. Oh, completely put together and able to handle the situation.
That is so bizarre, too.
Well, it's got to be your kind of crisis.
Because there are other crisis where you don't have the executive functions for it.
Yeah. And you'll get overwhelmed and you'll melt you'll melt down. If there's something really shiny about whatever the crisis is that ramps up your dopamine.
Then.
You'll go right after it. Like.
I will stop at car accidents and help before you.
I will stop at car accidents and help.
Okay.
Before all the emergency vehicles get there.
So everybody else is driving it around. I did it with my son once and he said, "Why are we stopping?" This is because we're going to help. Now, I've I've had some medical training, so I know the basics of what to do. You know, keep you can hop right in, right?
Yeah.
So.
Yeah, I could I could do that. I could make sure they stay awake because he's got a concussion. You don't want them going to sleep and basic things like that. You know, I don't go all hands on and try and pull him out of the car. I couldn't do that if I wanted to.
Yeah. But just be there for the people. They're panicking, you know, or they just don't know what the hell's happening and a voice will help them to stay calm.
Yeah.
There might be some other crises.
I don't know.
Yeah. Well, I worked for I worked for Canadian Mental Health Association for four years, so um I was I was kind of always on alert. I mean, I can be calm, but technically still alert for somebody breaks in, somebody decides like I'm I'm in this building of like 42 units and all sorts of people, you know, addicts and different levels of life. Um, so I'm aware of certain people who could be coming into the building visiting people or the people who actually live there. And so it's just I've had to call the police different times and so just be calm enough about it. Yeah, it did frustrate me that the police themselves like if I if I'm like, "Can you do a wellness check on this person because I'm nervous about them and the person they have in their unit?" Um, and it bothered at least bothered me that they wouldn't come around and check on me eventually. It's like I'm like, you know, maybe they say that they're fine, but I'm worried enough about them and uncomfortable that it'd be really nice if you came and reported back or checked in on me because maybe I should just call him back. Hey, I needed check.
Yeah. To me, that just sounds like common sense.
Right. Yeah. It it wasn't great. Now, working in mental health, I they didn't give me any mental health support. So, it's kind of was part of a decision I made to leave because I'm like,
What are you doing? I'm supposed to just hold it all together and show up to work every single day. Like, you know, because I go for an 8-hour shift and then I have to go home and spend time self-regulating, become become back into myself.
So.
And did you even have enough time to self-regulate?
Well, depends on what hour I worked. If I'm going home at 3:00 in the morning, then I might just be going to bed and then, you know, Yeah.
Yeah. Don't having insufficient time to rest and repair is what leads to meltdowns and what leads to burnout. A lot of burnout in that in that industry. A lot of people say so and no wonder. I mean, I'm seeing it firsthand. Yeah. I I didn't.
They they didn't they didn't ever really check in like sometimes. I mean, I know I could call the head boss and or different people or talk to manager and stuff, but it's still like how about you offered your employees like once once a month therapy or something, right? Like it's like a bare minimum. It's already it's already a um non-profit thing, right? So, they receive money from different like government and different organizations. So, it's not like it's coming out of their own like profit or anything. It's just a social organization.
Now, did that place have a lot of turnover as far as you know?
Oh, yeah.
There's also big struggle. There's also a big struggle of staff and then I would be getting called in because I was a casual employee for four years. I wasn't properly full-time, but when I was full-time, I didn't get any benefit for that either. So, and then I got called in and then I get, "Oh, can you work at this location?" and said, "Oh, could you possibly split your shift today? Thank you so much for being a team player."
While everybody else was struggling.
Well, I mean, you also need to be there for your team. there's at least one one location that needs somebody on 24/7. So, you know, like as a team, it's like I we all understand that that's how it needs to work there. So, you show up.
And hopefully it occurs to them that it might be good to have some support for their employees.
Yeah.
I'm an optimist. Seems like it's been functioning this way for a long time. So.
Yeah. If the broke works, don't fix it.
Precisely.
Thank goodness. Well, thank goodness you got out of that mess.
Yeah, it was good. I learned a hell of a lot. And now I have skills I can take out of that and put into my own practice. And that was part of the also the idea of leaving. I'm like, I, you know, I did my social service here.
That sounds like a win.
Yeah, for sure.
Maintain good relationships with my boss and everything. So now, you know, anything comes up in the future, she could be a great reference for me.
Very smart the way you played that.
Was that recent?
Well, I quit back in the end of May, so yeah, I haven't been to I haven't been working there since then. Yeah.
And people are seeing it though. They're reflecting back to me. They're like, "You look really good." Like you look.
Happy, look so very like full and yourself. Um, and like then the mention of my job came up. Okay. So, it was the best decision ever that you quit your job. I'm like, I I guess. Yeah. Through a friend of mine. I know a friend of hers several months ago quit her office job at Amazon.
And now Amazon just announces laying off 13 to 14,000 people. So she just missed the axe. She got out of there before that happened.
Nice.
So good timing.
I quit. You can't fire me.
But I just understand the whole company's toxic.
Yep. Yeah. I that that literally went into some of my university courses. How toxic Amazon is. I have a media degree.
Wow. And that was that was in the the studies.
Yeah.
Yeah. In that.
Must be proud of himself. Well, in that people I think in the company if if you're higher up and you get to work in the office, it's just like a they're just like it's like a boardroom where it's like people like fighting over each other with their greatest ideas and stuff or have to have like a whole bunch of great ideas and it's just really intense in those rooms and then pe otherwise people in the warehouse are just working alongside robots. Um, you know, like the robots actually know where everything is. people don't. It's just all computerized and everything. Uh, and yeah, it probably a whole bunch of just like emotional abuse in that company.
Yeah, I know people who worked in the, you know, getting the returns and processing them, putting them away in the rate they expect these guys to work at is dangerous.
They don't get breaks. They get hurt a lot and.
Right.
You get frustrated a lot in any case.
Yeah.
Thank you all for coming in this very interesting session since we had the time change and I still think we did good.
Thanks for having me as well.
I was just gonna say what did you think?
Good. It's nice to have a blather and see how people are doing. And I think the smaller groups are also nicer to interact with. You know, sometimes when the groups are larger, um, it's just, you know, I don't always want to talk. Um, because I'm still getting to know BBS and stuff as well. So.
And you can always participate in the chat as well.
Yeah.
That's a pretty safe bet.
I've I joined BBS, I can't even remember now, but I've had quite a busy year. So, I haven't really had um like the capacity to take on the calls as much. And when I do, I'm kind of multitasking, so I can't always like I put it on and I hear it, but I don't always have the ability to be sitting down to interact. Um, but I have got more time appearing soon hopefully. So, I'll maybe jump on more often.
That would be great. We'd love to have you.
Great. Thank you so much.
You too. Enjoy the remainder of your day and hope to see you soon.
Likewise. Thank you. Now, cheers. Bye, Graeme.