Transcription
Hi everyone, a very warm welcome to the channel, and I am your English educator, Shipra Mishra. And I hope you guys are doing fine. So today, we are going to complete our very beautiful poem, "My Mother at 66." It is very interesting, and I am sure you will be able to relate to it. We all will be able to relate to it because it is a poem that defines our relationship with our loved ones, especially with our parents. And it talks about the conflict of duties, about how sometimes a conflict arises before us, and we don't know what to choose. Should we choose our existing duties, or should we choose those duties that are towards our parents? So, we often feel this way, and Kamala Das also found herself in that dilemma. And what did she choose? We will talk about that.
So, Kamala Das is the poet of this poem, and she has written this very wonderful poem with very amazing similes. And you will also see here that the entire poem is completed within 14 lines. It is written in a single sentence. You will not find any end punctuation here. It carries a single idea. So, enjambment is definitely present here. With fabulous similes and very wonderful imagery, she has tried to explain this idea, this conflict of duties. Let's have a look.
So, the poem begins with "Driving from my parents' home to Cochin last Friday morning, I saw my mother beside me, dozing, open mouthed, her face ashen like that of a corpse and realized with pain that she was as old as she looked." So, children, this "my" pronoun that she has used, because of this, she wants to tell us how a girl has no home. Because if you leave your parents' home, then will you call it your parents' home? And if you get married and are living with your husband, then it is your husband's home, or your in-laws' home. So, she has no home in between that she can call "This is my house." So, somewhere here we understand what kind of responsibilities a girl has.
So, she says that "Driving from my parents' home," I was going from my parents' home towards Cochin. It was last Friday morning, children. This "last Friday morning" that she has written here, from this, we understand that this is a recollection. We understand that this poem is a recollection. She is trying to remember something that happened to her. So, a past event is being talked about here. So, this is a recollection.
So, she said, "I saw my mother beside me." I saw my mother beside me, right next to me. She was sitting next to me. I saw her. "Dozing, open mouthed." She had fallen asleep, she was dozing, and her mouth was open. "Her face ashen like that of a corpse." And her face had completely, you know, faded. There was no color in it, no blush, nothing. It had completely faded. "Like that of a corpse." Like the face of a corpse. A dead body, right? A dead body has no life in it. It has no color. It has no blush. It is completely, you know, life is not running in it. So, just as that body fades, becomes colorless, exactly like that was the face I was seeing of my mother.
"And realized with pain that she was as old as she looked." And then I realized, then I realized with pain. It caused me great pain because when I saw her face, and of course, when you see your parents' faces like this, so dull, you feel bad. You feel like, perhaps now she has reached that stage after which she will leave me. And no one can think about their loved ones like this, okay? So, as soon as this thought came into her mind, she realized it. Because sometimes, we run away. Sometimes we run away from the truth. Sometimes we feel like, "Oh, no, my parents are fine. Oh, no, my parents are very young. Oh, no, they are still fine." "They are very healthy." Like this, we try to run away. We don't try to understand the truth of death, the truth. So, here she accepted that truth, realized that her mother had truly become as old as she looked. It's not that she had actually turned 66. Yes, she had truly become old. Now she could not run away from that truth.
Now, when we see our parents at this age, when we see them at a stage where they are surrounded by illnesses, or we can say, they have become old like this, then all sorts of thoughts come into our minds. We feel like, one day we will lose them. So, such a thought also came into Kamala Das's mind.
Look, children, I have put the word meanings here for you. Let me tell you which poetic devices are present here. First of all, you will find assonance here, children. Assonance means when the vowel sound is repeated, it is called assonance. So, for example, "to Cochin last Friday morning." The 'o' sound is repeating again and again. So, therefore, assonance is present here. Again, you will see assonance. Again, you will see vowel sounds repeating. "Dozing, open mouthed, her face ashen like that of a corpse." So, you are seeing the 'o', 'a', 'e' sounds repeating again and again here. You are seeing 'o' repeating. You are seeing 'a' repeating. You are seeing 'e' repeating. That means this is also assonance.
After this comes simile, children. Simile means when we make a comparison between two things with the help of "like" or "as." So, if we are comparing two things with the help of "like" or "as," then what do we call it? Simile. So, here we see that the simile is present in "her face ashen like that of a corpse," where she has compared her mother's face to a corpse, a dead body, and used "like." So, "like" has been used, so there is a comparison here. With "like," there is a comparison, so this is a simile.
Let's move on. "But soon put that thought away, and looked out at young trees sprinting, the merry children spilling out of their homes. But after the airport security check, standing a few yards away, I looked again at her." So, as soon as that thought comes into her mind that my mother has become old, and of course, after this, the stage is something I will not be able to bear. That thought is so frightening that she wants to quickly remove that thought from her mind. And therefore, to distract herself from that thought, she looked out at young trees sprinting. She looked at how, you know, very green trees were running backward. Children, these green trees, these young trees, are running backward because the vehicle is moving forward at speed.
Now, what does this show? What does this sprinting show? It shows how time has passed. It shows how time has passed before her eyes. How she can see her childhood before her eyes, her mother's youth. She can see that time when they both used to be together and felt that they had a lot of time. Just as they both had a lot of time. Now there is still so much that can happen. Now they will be together for a long time. So, she sees time passing. She sees that youth, that vigor, that energy passing, which they both enjoyed together. So, she looks outside to distract herself, but when she looks outside, she finds herself in more pain.
"The merry children spilling out of their homes." She sees that the merry children, "merry" means happy. So, she says these happy children are spilling out of their homes. So, on one hand, she saw young trees sprinting. Trees don't run, but still, she made them run, personified them. And on the other hand, she also saw children coming out of their homes. Children are in the first stage of their lives, a stage from which their lives will go through different stages. And to reach where her mother is standing today, where Kamala Das's mother is standing today, they will have to go through many stages.
So, the first stage is that childhood stage in which you have no tension. You are full of energy, full of enthusiasm, full of, you know, youth, vigor. And then, along with that, you live your life. You have joy, excitement, everything. And you have no fear of anything, no worry. You have your life ahead of you. So, this, this reminds her of how this is in total contrast to her mother, where these children are so happy, so excited, there her mother is so dull, so sad. Where they are so healthy, full of youth, vigor, and energy, there her mother has become old, is ill, has respiratory issues, and who knows how many days she has left among us. So, this, this total contrast she has shown us to tell us where her mother was, at what stage of life. She has used "merry children" here.
"But after the airport security check." And after this, she finally reaches the airport security check. After the airport security check, only those people can go ahead who have a ticket. And therefore, she goes ahead, and her mother is left behind. Now, children, this is a very wonderfully written phrase. Because, look, in life, your parents, your loved ones can go with you to many places. And after that, there are many things in life where you have to make the choice. You have to decide how to proceed from here. And whether you consider it fortunate or unfortunate, you have to go forward alone. No one else can go with you there.
Something like this was before Kamala Das. You know, that was the truth. That yes, she could not stay with her mother for as long as she should have, and her mother would probably leave her. And on one hand, there were her responsibilities for which she was going to Cochin. So, now she had to make a choice, and she had made that choice. She has gone past the airport security check, leaving her mother behind. That means she has selected those responsibilities that are in her future life. And she is leaving her mother behind.
Children, this is a very tough decision for any daughter, for any child. But sometimes in life, this decision has to be made. And Kamala Das also did the same. When her mother was standing a few yards away from her, at some distance, she wanted to see her mother once again. She wanted to, you know, bid farewell to her once in her mind, within herself. And therefore, she turned back and looked at her mother once again.
Children, here you will see consonance. What is this consonance? Look, consonance is when consonant sounds repeat. We call it consonance. Now you will think, "Ma'am, isn't this also alliteration?" Children, alliteration is when the initial letters of closely placed words repeat a consonant sound, then it becomes alliteration. Whereas, if we talk about consonance, then here, if a consonant sound repeats in the middle or at the end of closely placed words, we call it consonance. So, alliteration is for the beginning, and this is for the middle and end. For example, here the 's' and 't' sounds are repeating again and again.
Imagery. Children, sometimes what happens is that the poet feels something, and they want us to feel the same. And to make us feel the same, they use imagery. They use this poetic device so that we can also imagine, we can also feel what they are feeling. And here, the same has happened. When the poet has used "trees sprinting" and "merry children spilling," through this, she wants to say that time was passing before her. How those trees were going backward, as if time was passing before her. And these children, she wants to show how happy these children are. They don't know what else life holds for them. And they are completely happy in their lives. So, this, this she wants to tell you, wants you to imagine, wants you to visualize.
Children, here you will see that "looked" is also a very important literary device. For example, if you see, very often, a word is used repeatedly. And it is used repeatedly because you want to emphasize it. For example, the poet's mother, she is looking at her again and again. "Look," you know, she is using it. So, turning her head again and again and looking because she doesn't want to leave her mother here, but she has to go.
Now, she looks at her face. "Worn out, pale, like that of late winter's moon, and felt that old familiar ache." She looks at her face. How worn out, how pale, how faded it has become. Exactly like the late winter's moon. When she looks at her face again, it looks so dull, like the late winter's moon. Children, if you look at the moon at midnight, in summers, it is very bright. Its moonlight illuminates the entire earth. But if you look at the winter moon, it hides behind many clouds, behind smoke, behind fog. And it hides in such a way that after a while, it just disappears, fades away. So, she says that this worn out, pale, she looked so worn out, so pale, like the late winter's moon. A moon that has lost its shine, that is fading, and will eventually disappear while fading.
"And felt that old familiar ache." And when I saw her, I felt that old, familiar pain. What is that familiar pain? Her childhood fear. Her childhood fear was that one day she would be separated from her mother. One day her mother would leave her. And that fear she is feeling at this moment.
"But all I said was, 'See you soon, Amma.'" With this fear that my mother will leave me, I will never see her again, she was in a lot of pain. But she could not show this fear and this pain on her face. Because her mother might become even sadder seeing this fear and pain on her face. Our mothers are like that. It's like, if you are happy, they become twice as happy in your happiness. If you are sad, they become twice as sad. So, we don't want them to be sad, especially not at this stage. And therefore, she thought, "I don't want to make my mother sad." So, she hides all the pain, all that hurt inside her heart. And with a hollow, a very hollow smile, she smiles and says, "See you soon, Amma." She herself doesn't know if she will be able to see her mother or not. But she gives her mother an optimistic farewell, a very cheerful farewell. She smiles and says, "Mom, I will see you very soon." "See you soon, Amma." This, this saying itself is very optimistic. It is a lot of positivity that she is giving to her mother. A hope to her mother that they will meet very soon.
"And all I did was smile and smile and smile." And this smile is repeated here again and again. So that we can understand that this is a forced smile. This is a hollow smile. This is the smile that the poet is giving because she wants to hide her pain, her fear.
Alright, here we will see that the repetition. The word "smile" is repeated again and again. And it is repeated so that we can understand how hollow this smile is.
Rhyme scheme. You will see that this is written in free verse. There is no rhyme scheme in this poem.
Again, you will see simile here, where the poet's mother's face is compared to the late winter's moon. So, from here, we have completed "My Mother at 66," written by Kamala Das. A beautiful poem that tells us how sometimes we have to make choices for our other responsibilities, and we forget, or we have to forget, our responsibilities towards our parents. And this is adult life. That's it.
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