Transcription
I'm not happy. These are the first sounds that you'll hear, signaling the approach of the four horsemen of the marriage apocalypse. These words are usually spoken at a time when you, as a man, think everything is going just great. Usually, it's in the first seven years of your marriage. You know, the honeymoon phase might be over, but you're still, still things seem pretty good. You know, you seem relatively happy. I mean, all things considered, you pulled it off. You're two grown people living in the same place under the same roof, sharing bills, taking care of business. You know, it's not perfect, but what the hell? It's working.
Well, that's not good enough, my man. That is not good enough. What if I were to tell you that the seeds for your marriage's destruction were planted long before you ever met your wife? And these four horsemen of the marriage apocalypse, they are endemic to our society, our culture. And little girls start getting initiated into the the cult of marriage apocalypse from a very young age. So, let's talk about it.
When we're children, we are told, at least here in the United States, you can be anything you want to be. And so, for little boys, that means you can be a ball player. Maybe you can uh be an astronaut or a pilot or maybe even the president of the United States. But for little girls, not all of them, but for a lot of them, that means they can be a [Laughter] princess. And I don't think that Walt Disney knew what he was doing. He thought he was just creating child's entertainment, you know, just a way for kids to have some fun, just, you know, watch a fun movie. But uh apparently there's a whole field of psychology that is dedicated to studying the effects of Disney movies on the minds of young children, girls in particular. They have a like a romantic scale, like a romantic belief scale or something like that, RBS, but it essentially says that um they ask you a bunch of questions to determine just how delusional you are. And then they ask you, "How much Disney did you watch?" And as it turns out, the more Disney you watched, the more delusional you are, especially for girls.
Now, I'm sure some little boys fall into that trap, too. You know, a lot of guys see themselves as Prince Charming, but uh it sets unrealistic expectations and it plants a really negative seed for what comes next because obviously there is no way that anyone can um uphold that level of uh expectation when someone becomes an adult, unless you are technically a prince, like if you're like one of those Saudi princes or something like that and you've got big oil money, seems very unlikely that most guys are going to be able to pull that off. And most guys don't recognize that when they put that ring on her finger, what they've really done is they put a crown on her head. That's why so many women change after uh after the wedding. So yeah, the first horsemen of the marriage apocalypse starts when they're very very young. And that's the Disney princess thing.
When you look at the story lines of all these Disney princess movies, they all basically follow the same formula. And it involves initially a lot of patience on the behalf of the future princess. She's going to have to wait it out. She might even have to sacrifice something like I think it was Ariel in the mermaid movie. She gave up her voice in order to meet her guy. And then um you know, Sleeping Beauty, of course, you know, she had to, you know, um go through the whole touching the spinning wheel and falling asleep and the evil spell and all that. And of course, Snow White, she had a similar thing with the, you know, the eating the apple, which has got all kinds of weird symbolism in it, but whatever. So, the girl makes some kind of sacrifice, and then she goes into this waiting mode. And then along comes Prince Charming, who's going to transform everything, make everything better. Oh, Beauty and the Beast. That's one of my favorites. So, not only does um she have to go into the waiting mode and she has to sacrifice. She's taken away from her family. She's put up in the big mansion, but then she's able to transform the beast. God, this is powerful. She transforms the beast into Prince Charming. Oh, man. If you're a little girl with your little brain like at six, seven, eight years old, just sucking all this stuff up, just eating it up, you can just imagine how powerful that is on their little psyches, you know, and um seeing that this love can be so powerful and transformative and um so uh essential to the role of the princess and the plot of the story. And I can't help but think that a lot of these young girls carried this forward into adulthood in their subconscious mind. And when you stumbled across them and thought, "Oh, I'm going to call you princess." I've done it. I've absolutely done it, man. I have used that word out loud with a woman. Come here, princess. Oh, you're my princess. Oh, you don't ever want to make a girl a princess. But yeah, you you just don't know what you're into in for.
Um, these little girls, a lot of them have grown up with that idea in the back of their minds, in their subconscious mind that propels them into their relationship, thinking that you are going to be Prince Charming and they are going to be the princess and there's going to be some kind of a transformation that occurs and you are going to make everything better. Okay, that's a lot to put on a guy. Everything is a lot. And better is a very vague generalized term without a lot of strict measurements. But yeah, so you are going to make everything better. That's your role. So the fact that she didn't last very long or your marriage is starting to fall apart or the fact that she's not happy shouldn't be a surprise because probably there's a little princess in her that hasn't fulfilled the storyline in her her narrative. and you as Prince Charming have fallen woefully short. So that's the first apocalypse. That's the first horseman of the apocalypse.
The second horsemen of the apocalypse is when they get a little bit older and they start watching romantic uh things on television or worse yet they start reading romantic novels. They used to uh I have these drugstore novel kind of things and I remember you know there they've always got some big hunky guy on the front you know he's got these long hair looks like Fabio you know what I mean and they would read this and this is all just like like pornography for women that's basically what it is you know it's just imagination porn and um they would just eat this stuff up you know and then they carry it forward into their viewing habits on TV or in movies you know, they're just all about this whole romantic um setting and this story and this narrative that is going to set the standard for their life going forward. And then comes the romantic comedy with the the meet cute, you know, where they just show up and they meet run into each other at the grocery store or at the library or at the farmers market. Oh, that's the best one. You know, and from there, everything just falls into this wonderful little pattern where this romance develops. Now, of course, there's going to be some level of conflict in the middle of the movie because that's just the way these formulas work. And then they're going to resolve the formula and they're going to live happily ever after. But, you know, you never actually see the living happily ever after part. You only see the part right up to the point at the end where you know they're going to be together and everything just seems so blissful. I cannot tell you how many moments in my life have been like that where I get to that moment, you know, just like in the movie where I'm giving the girl the kiss, you know, the lights are going down. We're going to live happily ever after. But then the phone rings, somebody needs something somewhere and you've got to do something about it. You know, it's not like that in the real world. In the real world, there are bills that need to be paid. There are diapers that need to be changed. There are cars that need to be fixed and houses that need maintenance and there are yards that need to be mowed. There is that happens. There is no fairy tale land. These girls just have this in their subconscious mind. And then when you talk to them rationally about it, they know there's no fairy tale land, but they live there in their minds, in their imaginations. Just like when we were little boys, we thought, well, maybe I'll play major league baseball or maybe I'll, you know, be a professional football player, be a pilot, whatever, be the president. Well, at some point we gave up on that dream. You know, I mean, some most of us did. There's some guys that obviously didn't, but somewhere along the lines we thought that's probably not realistic. You know, I'm not nearly as fast as I thought I was. And, you know, as it turns out, I didn't grow up to be a, you know, a 6'5 guy with, you know, insane genetics. So, I'm probably not going to be um be doing that. I'm not going to be making my career in the NBA or anything like that. But girls, they don't kind of let go of that so fast. women, they they that's so deeply implanted into who they are, into their their subconscious mind that um it just becomes a part of them. And so that adult Disney, what you could really call it, the romantic comedies, the romantic movies, the the um the novels, that's the second horsemen of the marriage apocalypse because now everything from the first horsemen is just being reinforced. It's just being drilled deeper and deeper and deeper into their brains.
So, the third horseman of the marriage apocalypse is social media. Fear of missing out now becomes the driving force in the lives of many young women. Um, it starts when they're teenagers obviously, but it goes into adulthood. Um, here young women and girls see these highly curated visions of what other people's lives are like. Rich and famous people who are, you know, showing how they can lavishly spend money and they are living lives like royalty. Um, even the person down the street has taken that trip to the Bahamas and they're posting those photos online and it's creating this fear of missing out. What women want is not all the things in the world like the cars and the houses and the and the jets and all that stuff. They're not necessarily as obsessed with that. What they want are all the experiences that other women want. That's what they want. And so they see these other women having these wonderful experiences and that's what they want. They want that experience. They are jealous of it. It's envy. It goes deep. It is uh a driving force in their lives. And if you've married one of these women who is got that Disney thing working, she's got the romantic comedy thing working and now she's got the fear of missing out going, your marriage is over. I mean, I don't care if she's not even said, "I'm not happy yet. This is on the way. You either need to get this girl into some therapy like right away so that she can get a reality check or if you start bringing kids in the world and you start um procreating and all these other lives are going to be impacted by this crazy woman because she is crazy. That's a technical term. I'm I'm using the clinical term here. She is absolutely freaking crazy. She's got three of the um horsemen of the marriage apocalypse that are living inside her right now. And the likelihood that one of these or all four of them are going to come for your marriage is almost inevitable. It's just a matter of time. This fear of missing out is not an imaginary thing that's created as a result of social media. Fear of missing out is an advertising technique that's been around for generations. Advertisers have known that when they're pushing a product, they want to, if possible, create a fear of missing out their of their product from the general population. That's why, you know, commercials are made the way they are. You know, um, beer commercials back in the day, I haven't watched TV in a long time, but um, you know, they would often times show these beautiful, sexy people playing volleyball on a beach and drinking Kors Light and just having the time of their lives. and you're like, "Wow, I want that." Like, "I want to be that guy. Those girls are hot. He looks great." You know, that looks like a fun like a fun time. You know, I'd love to play volleyball on the beach with a group of greatl looking people drinking beer. You know, it's subconscious. There's a little bit of subconscious there, but there's a little bit of conscious there, too. You're like, "Yeah, I'd do that. I definitely I'm down with that." Um, but for women, man, it just goes so much deeper. And with social media, it's constant because you're doom scrolling. you know, so easy to find yourself just thinking, I'll just check really quick on Instagram or on Facebook or something. Next thing you know, you have um whittleled away three or four hours of your life watch or Tik Tok is the worst, you know, and you're just seeing all these beautiful people doing these fun and beautiful things and you're thinking your little girl inside her is thinking, "Wait a second, you're the princess. You're the princess. You should be experiencing all that stuff. You're the one. This whole world is about you. You know, you need to be validating on social media in that way so that everyone else can see how wonderful you are because only by validating online can they understand that they are missing out of you. Like you are the one that they should be jealous of not the other way around. Anyway, this is a twisted weird sick psychology and it affects a lot of of women. It affects a lot of women. I think that um social media should be seen like a drug, you know, like the same way we have restricted the use of um certain drugs like heroin and cocaine and you know, even to some degree, you know, the uh psychoactive drugs, like these the social media needs to have some limits on it. Like we need to um regulate this stuff a lot tighter because it's very clear to me that a lot of this stuff is really harming our our society. But that's the third horseman. Social media.
All right. Now, the fourth horseman is one that we have not really talked about. The first three I think a lot of you guys might have been able to guess at the fourth one. I doubt many of you are aware of because this is something that kind of flies under the radar and it's a tricky one because there's a there's a a core of truth to it but the way that it's presented creates this magical kind of um I don't know false promise that a lot of women fall into. And although the book The Secret is not the only source of this information, it's a good example to use in this video because it was very very popular for with women. And it introduced this um law of attraction to lots and lots of people. Women in particular really went for it because it felt very magical and mystical. And the way the the movie was presented in the book, it was really well done. And I got to give them a lot of credit. Um, but it was very misleading. The concept behind it was that you could have an imagination of what your life would be like. You can imagine it and that by having these thoughts and this imagination and creating your say putting yourself in this place, this this experience in your imagination that you could manifest it, you could make it happen for you. Yeah. that doesn't work. Um, now that's not to say that there isn't some value in using your imagination and having a vision for your life and wanting to achieve certain things and goal setting, but the idea that um, you could just meditate in your room and imagine yourself as a princess. I guess you know technically like if you could sit there long enough like if there was you if you had an infinite number of years to sit there inevitably in an infinite universe where you are part of that infinite universe and infinitely you have time to sit there and pretend to be a princess eventually it would have to happen. Eventually it would have to happen. I remember someone saying, you know, if you stand up on a hill with your mouth open long enough, eventually a turkey is going to fly into your mouth and you will eat. You're going have to spend a lot of time standing on that hill. And those girls are spending a lot of time sitting in their little princess bedrooms imagining that they're going to be a princess, imagining that um the uh the universe is going to yield to their manifestation techniques and their abilities. they're going to use the secret to achieve these great things. Well, this unfortunately does more damage than probably any of the other three horsemen of the apocalypse because with the secret, they're offering you the idea that if you can just be good enough, if you can just do this, if you can just be one of us, then you can have everything that you want. And that's the lie. Because what ends up happening is you've got the halves and the have nots just like with everything else. You know, those people who for whatever reason were able to achieve whatever they thought they wanted to achieve, well, they're going to be on the inner circle of the secret people, you know, and everybody else is going to be on the outside looking in. And that creates this sense of, well, now it's not just about luck or, you know, happen stance or whatever. It's about you. Like, you're just not smart enough to do this. you're just not good enough to have it. Like you you need to work harder in your imagination. You need to you need to spend more time reading that book. You need to go back and watch the movie again. That's got to be it. You got to go back and watch that movie like 10 times because obviously it's not getting through your thick skull. You're just too freaking dumb. Guess what it is? Well, this fourth horseman creates the idea in people's heads that they can create the life of their dreams, that they can have anything they want. And there is a core of truth to it. You can create a life that you want. You are going to have to work for it. It's not just going to fly into your mouth. It's not just going to happen. You know, we don't have infinite time for the prince to show up. If you really want something, then you're going to have to work for it. And it may be difficult and it may be you've got to put a lot of resources to it. It might take a long time. But we're not going to instantly manifest some glorious world unless you just happen to strike the lottery. Um, and you know, I think a lot of women really buy into this idea that if they can just use their imagination, they can fix everything. And then when it doesn't work, the sense of loss and the sense of failure is so dramatic and so extreme that um, yeah, they want to take action right then and there to fix things. And that's when those famous four words pop up. I'm not happy. And the implication is that it's your fault. And there is nothing that you as a man can do to make her happy. Especially if she has these four horsemen in her in her head because you will never be Prince Charming. You will never fill that role of the romantic lead in the the novel or the romantic comedy. You cannot for most of us create that highly curated, you know, social media presence where everything just looks so beautiful and everyone's having so much fun and there's just so much money to be had. That fear of missing out is a an imaginary thing that advertisers, like I said, have used for generations and now they have just refined it into a daily dose that you can get on anything you want in the world that someone else is doing it better than you. And for whatever reason, rather than thinking, well, if they're doing it like that, I can do that. I might have to work for it. Well, we just want to manifest it. And that's where that fourth horseman comes in. We're going to open the secret up and we're going to start meditating on it and we're going to imagine through our metaphysical powers of med of of uh manifestation and we're going to make it we're going to make it happen. And when she's gone through those four and she's failed and you're still here and you're still not, you know, prince charming or whatever you need to be and her life
is not that of a princess. Well, I'm not happy, is what you're going to hear. That's three words. I'm not happy. Yeah. Three. I said four, but it's three. I'm not happy. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to get those three words. And um, she's uh, she's going to leave. She's going to want to end it.
So, for you guys who think that you did something wrong. And this is really the whole point of this video, is that when I was going through this, I had the idea in my head that I was doing something wrong. I had failed as a man. I was not good enough. I had met the girl of my dreams. I had been completely upfront with her. I had told her everything about me. I was honest. I was sincere. I was dedicated. I had spent money. I gave myself up emotionally, psychologically. I was all in. All in, holding nothing back. It's like going out and playing your best game and losing, you know.
So, on the one hand, it's bittersweet, you know, to have played your best and to have lost. It's much better to have gone that way than to have played a half-ass game and lost. But to have played your best and lost um, means on one hand, yeah, you did your best, so good for you. You didn't hold anything back. But on the other hand, it's like you just weren't good enough, man. You just weren't good enough. And that's that's tough. That's tough. It's a tough pill to swallow.
Well, for you guys who have gone down that path with me and you've been in that place where you're thinking, "Yeah, I'm just not good enough. I just didn't have what it takes to be the man that she needed me to be," well, the truth of the matter is, the four horsemen were there long before you got there.
All right, you guys. That's all I got for you today. I certainly hope you've enjoyed this video and you find it helpful. If you know some guy who's going through, you know, that dark part time right after separation, he's trying to figure himself out and trying to figure out what the hell happened in his life, please share this video with him. Maybe it'll give him some insights as to, you know, just what happened there and maybe give him some sense of relief that maybe he isn't as bad as he thinks. That maybe this was done long before he ever got there. If she had those four horsemen in her head, there may not have been anything he could have ever done.
All right, take it easy. Until next time, stay healthy and if you can, stay single.