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May 29th, 1900. William 3. Threat of chastisements. Jesus is abandoned and left alone, continuing in the same state. I felt all oppressed and I had all the need of a support to be able to bear the privation of my highest good. Having compassion for me, blessed Jesus showed his face from within my heart for a few minutes, but not with clarity. And letting me hear his most gentle voice, he told me, "Courage, my daughter, just a little longer. Let me finish chastising, for afterwards I will come as before." While he was saying this, in my mind I said, "What are the chastisements that you have begun to send?" And he added, "The continuous rain that is pouring is more than hail, and it will cause sad consequences for the people." Having said this, he disappeared, and I found myself outside of myself, inside a garden. From there, one could see crops withered in the vineyards. And within myself, I kept saying, "Poor people, poor people, how shall they go on?" While I was saying this, a little boy appeared in that garden, crying and screaming so loud as to death in heaven and earth. But no one had compassion for him, even though everyone could hear him crying so much. They would not bother with him and they would leave him abandoned and alone. A thought flashed within me, "Who knows whether he is Jesus?" But I was not sure about it. So drawing near him, I said, "What is it that you were crying, dear child? Do you want to come with me, since they all left you?" Pray to tears and to sorrow which oppresses you so much as to make you scream so loud. But nothing. Who could calm him down? He just barely answered with his sobs that yes, he wanted to come. So I took him by the hand to him with me, and in the very act I was doing this, I found myself inside myself.
May 29, 1900. Five-volume 6-1. Who rests in the arms of obedience receives all the divine colors. This morning, on coming, blessed Jesus threw himself into my arms as if he wanted to rest, and he said to me, "So must the soul rest in the arms of obedience, like a child dressed safely in the arms of his mother. And one who rests in the arms of obedience receives all the divine colors, because when someone is truly sleeping, one can do to him whatever he wants. In the same way, when someone truly rests in the arms of obedience, it can be said that he is sleeping, and God can do to the soul whatever he wants."
May 29, 1923. Volume 15. God is always the first to operate in the soul. I was accompanying my sweet Jesus in his pains, especially in what he suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane. And while I compassionately aided him, moving in my interior, he told me, "My daughter, the first one to form the crafting of my pains and my humanity was my celestial Father, because he alone had the strength and the power to create pain and to place in it as many degrees of pain as were needed in order to be satisfied for the deaths of creatures. Creatures were secondary, because they had no power over me, nor the ability to create pain as intense as they wanted. The same happens in all creatures. In creating man, the first crafting, both in the soul and in the body, was done by my divine Father. How much harmony, how much happiness did he not with his own hands and the human nature! Everything is harmony and happiness. And man, the mere external part, how many harmonies and happiness's does it not contain? The eyes can see, the mouth can express, the feet can walk, the hands can operate and take things where the feet have reached. But if the eyes could see, but man did not have the mouth to express himself, or if he had feet to walk with no hands to operate, would there not be unhappiness and disharmony in the human nature? And then the harmonies and happiness's of the human soul: the will, the intellect, the memory. How many harmonies and happiness's do they not contain? It is enough to say that they are part of the happiness and harmony of the eternal One. God created his true personal Eden in the soul and in the body of man, and Eden all celestial. And then he gave him the terrestrial Eden as residence. Everything was harmony and happiness in the human nature. And even though sin upset this harmony and happiness, it did not completely destroy all the good which God had created in man. So just as God created with his own hands all the happiness and harmony in the creature, he created all possible pains in me to be repaid for the human and gratitude, and to make the lost happiness come out from the sea of my pains, as well as the accord for the upset harmony. And this happened to all creatures. When I must choose them for a distinct sanctity or for my special designs, it is my own hands that work in the soul, and I create in it now suffering, now love, now the knowledge of celestial truths. My jealousy is such that I want no one to touch her. And if I allow creatures to do something to her, it is always in the secondary order, but I myself have primacy and I keep forming her according to my design."
May 29, 1929. Of Jesus was the greatest sorrow of the Apostles. Pained for love of Jesus forms all the good of Jesus. The throne and the kingdom of the Divine Will in Louisa could be established only upon a divine pain. The continuous loss of Jesus. I was thinking of when my sweet Jesus went back to heaven in his glorious ascension, and therefore of the sorrow of the Apostles in remaining deprived of such a great good. And my sweet Jesus, moving in my interior, told me, "My daughter, the greatest sorrow for all of the Apostles in their entire lives was to remain deprived of their Master, as they saw me ascend to heaven. Their hearts were consumed with the pain of my privation, and much more sharp and penetrating was this pain, since it was not a human pain, something material that they were losing, but a divine pain. It was a God that they were losing. And even though I had my humanity as it resurrected, it was spiritual eyes and glorified. Therefore, all the pain was in their souls and penetrating them completely. It made them feel consumed with grief such as to form in them the most harrowing and painful martyrdom. But all this was necessary for them. One can say that until that moment they were nothing but tender babies and virtues, and in the knowledge of divine things and of my own person, I could say that I was in their midst, and they did not really know me, love me. But when they saw me ascend into heaven, the pain of losing me tore the veil, and they recognized me was so much certainty as the true Son of God that the intense sorrow of no longer seeing me in their midst delivered firmness in good and strength to suffer anything for love of the One whom they had lost. It delivered the light of divine science, it removed the swaddling clothes of their childhood, and formed them as intrepid men, no longer fearful but courageous. The pain transformed them and formed in them the true character of apostles. What I could not obtain with my presence, I obtained with the pain of my privation. Now, my daughter, a little lesson for you. Your life can be called a continuous pain of losing me and a continuous joy of acquiring me. But between the pain of the loss and the joy of acquiring me, how many surprises have I not made you? How many things have I not told you? It was pain and the painful martyrdom of losing me to prepare you and dispose you to hear the sublime lessons on my Will. In fact, how many times it seemed to you that you had lost me, and while you were immersed in your howling pain, I would come back to you with one of the most beautiful lessons on my Will, and I would make the new joy of gaining me come back to dispose you once again to the piercing pain of my absence. I can say that the pain of remaining deprived of me has delivered within you the effects, the value, the knowledge, it is the foundation of my Will. It was necessary that I behaved with you in this way, that is, coming to you very often and leaving you prey to the pain of being deprived of me, since I had established I would manifest to you in a way of special many things about my Will. I had to leave you prey to a continuous divine pain, because my Will is divine, and only upon a divine pain could it establish its throne and lay its dominion. And assuming the attitude of a Master, I communicated the knowledge of my Will as much as it is possible to a creature. Many will be amazed in hearing of the continuous visits I made to you, which I have not done with others, and of your continuous pain of my privation. If you had not seen me so many times, you would not have known me or loved me so much, because each one of my visits brings an additional knowledge of me and a new love. And the more the soul knows me and loves me, the more her pain is redoubled. And incoming, I kept provoking your pain more intensely because I want my Will not to lack the noble courting of pain, which makes the soul firm and strong, such that my Will is able to form my stable dwelling in her and to give her new and continuous lessons on my Will. Therefore, I repeat it to you, let me do and trust me."
End of May 29th. Fiat.