Transcription
Don't joke with short card games. Were fun, like mine. This change should help keep my Millennium Puzzle safe from the various villains who are always challenging me to children's card games.
Hey, give me some time without mirror. I need to apply my makeup. God, you are such a [ __ ]. Yeah, well, you're really small. Look at you down there. You're like small. Emic, small. That's your name.
Hey Yugi. Hey Taya. What do you think of my new chain? Pretty pimp, huh? Hey, hey, hey. It makes you look ridiculous. Well, I think it looks sexy. You look about as sexy as Mr. T. Oh, shut up. Let's just go to school, okay? Hmm, I wonder who they were.
[Music] [Applause]
And then this one time at duel camp, I put my dick in my. Hey, what's that? Step right up, and I will reveal your future in America. What a crock. Maybe he can tell me when I'll finally hit puberty. In order to tell your future, I'll need you to give me your necklace. My puzzle? No way. Without it, I can't pretend to be good at card games. Look, do you want your damn fortune told or not? Well, okay then. I predict that you are a gullible idiot. In America. Ah ha ha ha. In America, you. He, I hate to break this to you, but you totally deserved that. Hey, come back. You didn't even tell me my fortune. Hmm, he must be hiding inside this abandoned warehouse.
Welcome Yugi. I see you've fallen right into my trap. In America. Now, let's have a children's card game to decide who gets to keep your millennium item. But you've already stolen it from me. If anything, I should be challenging you. Look, can we just play the card game? You're new to this whole stealing thing, aren't you?
Reading, yo. Taya, how is it hanging, dude? What the hell did you just say to me? I'm trying to sound more American so people won't pick on me as much. Well, stop it. You sound like you're from the 1970s. Oh, come on, baby, cut me some slack. Let's hang out together. It'll be totally cool. Somebody help. Bakura's gone insane. Now, the cheese out of the way, I can concentrate on finding gay people. Come on, little gaydar, work your magic. It's time to duel. In America. I don't know who you are, but I won't let you keep my puzzle. I summon the frustrated Celtic guardian. I am so frustrated. You're frustrated. Elf is no match for my machine monsters. In America.
[Music]
Wait a minute. Those monsters look kind of familiar. Who are you? Show yourself. Oh my god, it's Bandit Keith. I had no idea. Super special awesome plot twist. Yes, it's me, Bandit Keith. But I'm being controlled by somebody who isn't American. You mean you're being manipulated? That's right, little Yugi. With my Millennium Rod, I can take control of whoever I want. And you choose Bandit Keith? Why the hell would you choose Bandit Keith? He sucks. It's simple. Americans are very easy to brainwash. Isn't that right, mind slave? Whatever you say, Mr. President.
We gotta save Yugi. So let's just skip school for the 50th time. You'd think they would have expelled us. Banal, what is the meaning of this? You kids should be wearing your extremely tight gym shorts. Me? Sorry, coach, but there's been an emergency. Somebody spoiled the new Harry Potter book for Taya, and she's very upset. All my fan fics are worthless now. My pink sweater is moved by your story. By all means, take the day off school. Why didn't we just turn the truth? Because lying is fun.
It looks like my Millennium Ring has led me to this warehouse. I haven't seen gay readings this strong since that screening of Showgirls. Hmm, that looks like a Bandit Keith and Yugi. Someone must be manipulating this duel. Someone with a Millennium Item. The Millennium Puzzle belongs to me. Wait a minute. This thing wasn't made in America. It must be destroyed. No, my chick magnet. This looks like a job for Limey Man. In America. Bakura, you saved me. I'm here to kick ass and drink cups of tea, and I'm all out of tea.
I can't believe he broke my puzzle. I guess I'd better start putting it back together. Yes, Yugi. And when you do, they'll be a part of my soul inside it. Then, in about 500 episodes, I've put my evil plan into motion. I'm so diabolical, it hurts. They don't call me Florence for nothing.
Hey Yugi, you forgot this piece. Hey, thanks. Wow, you're being really helpful today. It's kind of weird. My mommy says I'm a good boy. You know, Bakura, I think I might be starting to respect you. Thanks, Yugi. Oh, Baga. Oh, my sensitive little bottom. Yeah, forget what I just said. Catch you later, dude. Bye. Bakura, try not to get beat up on the way to school, sucker.
You have failed me, Bandit Keith. And for that, you will suffer my wrath. There is a voice in my head, and it's French. The exact opposite of American. No, stop torturing me. Okay, I admit it. I'm not really American. I'm Canadian. Is that what you wanted to hear, you bastard? Look, the building's on fire. Somebody must be in big trouble. Let's forget about Yugi and help these guys instead. Uh, ever God, what was I thinking getting that chain? I must be the dumbest anime character ever.
We're coming in the door. Hurt me. Joey. Hey, let me do it. Me, me, me. Getting so hot, I don't know if I'll make it. Me, me, me, me. It sure would be nice if my friends showed up to help. Okay, seriously, where the hell are those guys? Neh, booyah. Help. This building's haunted by French people. Yo, what are you doing? We gotta get out of here. I can't leave yet without my puzzle. I can't be a main character.
We didn't start the fire. It was always burning since the world's been turning. Oh my god, it's my Yugi muffin. Don't worry, Taya. Aside from some third-degree burns and severe mental scarring, he should be just fine. I'm a fireman. It seems Bandit Keith was a waste of time. It looks like we'll just have to try again tomorrow night. Citroen, what are we gonna do tomorrow, though? That same thing we do every night, Pinky boy. Try to take over the world.
All right, you primitive screwheads, listen up. This is my boomstick. It sure is good to be back home in Canada.