Transcription
Good morning. [Music] All right, you guys. It's episode 26 of Inner Demons. I just cut 25. I'm gonna show some love for Inner Demons tonight. I'mma chill out on the on the War Stories. I might hit you with the hat trick; I don't know. But at any rate, I'm gonna go ahead and get episode 26 in since I just dropped 25.
So anyway, while I still got this fresh on my mind, I figured I'd do it now, man. So let's get straight back into this, man. So I just went through the situation that I did with Ray. Everybody in the Pod, everybody seen what happened. Um, you know, it didn't really change nothing except that dude just he lost his respect, man. He lost it. Like I said, they didn't cut him loose, but you could just you could just tell things weren't the same, dude. [ __ ] pissed on himself, man. He [ __ ] bowed out straight up. I don't know how else to say it, man. Um, you know, at that time I was I was a pretty big youngster, and he wasn't no big dude. He wasn't he was like a little short cat. You know, he wasn't fat; he wasn't skinny. It was just like a medium-sized cat, but I would have put these Boulders on his ass. I would have lit his world on fire, man. And I think he knew it; right? Matter of fact, I know he knew it. And I'm not trying to be tough; I'm not trying to sound like a tough guy. That's just on the real, man. I would have destroyed that dude inside of a cell, too. I wouldn't even want to be on the receiving end of that one.
Um, so anyway, the months the months continued on. You know, I think it was like another month or two before um, some other cats would end up moving into the pot. I remember before that, though. So this this incident also happened in this same pot. I'm still in D7. Noppers from Sakura was over there. I know he was there, and there were a couple other there wasn't that many homeboys in D7 at that time. But this other situation happened, and it was um it was another eye-opener, man. So one day when they let they let the two ABS out, they were out on the tier cutting their nails and using the Clippers. That's whenever, you know, once a month they would let you come out on the tier; they'd run the hair clippers. If you had hair, you could come out shave your head. You know, if you had a Celly, you could trim up your ceiling. If you didn't, you would just ass out; you had to cut your own hair, man, uh, do it yourself. This was another another eye opener for me. So like I said, man, you know, they ran hair clippers once a month. While the two ABS were out on the tier cutting their hair, one was one was using the hair clippers, and the other one was sitting on the stairs cutting his his toenails, right? So I'm right there on my gate. I'm kind of watching. I'm watching my TV. I got my earphone in, and I got one earphone in so I can hear the pie and hear what's going on on TV at the same time. And we saw I'm watching this uh this one individual that's on the stairs, and I see him [ __ ] around with the stair like he's cutting his nail, but he keeps pulling on the stair. So I'm watching if the stairs are all still; they're all still. They're like a still great type of uh there there's like a great I don't know how how else to explain it. It's it's still, and it's all [ __ ] uh it's like that's like a great pattern on the tip like on the tip of every stair; there's a long piece of yellow still. It's like a a flap that kind of protects the stair The Edge, whatever. I don't know what you what you call it, but anyway, so I'm watching them, and he's pulling on that that's what he's pulling on. I see I eventually I see it to start to come loose, and next thing you know he cracks the whole thing comes up, right? I watch him; he takes it; he takes it into his cell, and I'm like [ __ ] man, that right there is a weapon. That that can kill somebody. You know you're already in a in an environment. Pelican Bay is already in the environment, you know that you can lose your life back there, whether it's through a Selly uh cell mates kill each other all the time back there, whether it's through you coming out on the tier unexpectedly and getting your head blown off by the Gunner, or whether you know you're in a situation like this one right here where these guys now they're armed with bone Crushers. You know, I got a little paraso, but it's it's a little piece of [ __ ]; it's plastic; it's plastic. It's the best I can do at that time. I had got my TV, so I had cut out a little piece of plastic, and that's all I had. It was enough to [ __ ] you know, hit a [ __ ] a couple times, and it it's probably like a two or three hitter quitter, and that's it. The most you're gonna do is you're gonna puncture [ __ ], get them up off you, and it's not really gonna inflict no real damage. I mean, if I would have cut my whole TV apart and took a a piece of plastic the whole length of my TV, yeah, you know, you can take a piece like that and you you could probably make a piece that will kill somebody, but the little piece I had it was just a little small, but also enough to to just do what I needed to do basically. But these guys now when I seen them take that flap off, I'm thinking of myself, they're gonna break that up, and everybody in the Pod except for me, of course, is gonna have a [ __ ] Bone Crusher, so it's all bad. You know, it it it elevated my awareness just a little bit more, and it also kind of took it up a notch, man. You know, again, we were this was an enemy; this was, you know, it was considered Behind Enemy Lines back there. It was on in Corcoran, and it was on a Pelican Bay right at that at that time. So you know, it was even more reason for me to be on my p's and q's, man.
Anyway, I knew that for the remainder of that night they were going to be busy. I was going to hear a lot of movement, a lot of cell a lot of fishing, a lot of back and forth. You know, these guys were all going to get pieces of that [ __ ], and I was right. The Southsiders got theirs. The the there were two uh two a metals; they got theirs; they got theirs first. Then the Southsiders all got theirs. So now I'm like, okay, any one of these [ __ ] doors open up for one, I'm I'm there's two of them in each cell, so I'm going heads up with two cats off top. That's but you know, now maybe even more of a disadvantage because now these cats now these cats got weapons, man, and they're they're not weapons; their weapons to be taken serious. So you know, I mean, but there's only so much more I could do. All I could do now is just is really just pay attention and just prepare myself for if that situation was to ever arise, man. So that's what I did. But it you know, I also knew that the day he took that off of there, I knew that it wasn't gonna it wasn't gonna be long before somebody was gonna see that stare, and all hell was gonna break loose because like I told you guys it was the yellow strip that ran across the full length of the stair the tip, and it was like the edge piece that right there you took that whole piece of yellow off of that stair; it was noticeable; it was clearly noticeable for myself because well, one, I seen him take it, but for two that didn't have no yellow on it, no. So I knew that it was just going to be a matter of time before [ __ ] slurricane came up in there and tore all our shits up. And it literally took 24 hours. You know what I mean? It took 24 [ __ ] hours. So the rest of the night nothing happened. Cos came in there; they serve dinner; didn't catch it. It's probably because you know the [ __ ] came in with trays, and they got to go up the stairs, but still I was thinking this dude coming down the stairs; he was gonna see it; didn't catch him. They came in to get the trays; didn't catch it. They came in for a pill call; uh, they ran that at the gate, then they came in to pick up the mail at night; none of them caught it. So went to sleep that night; shut down the program. Next day, next morning, seals came in early in the morning for something; still didn't catch it. When they came in for lunches to serve lunches, they they you eat early in the morning; early as [ __ ] there. Um, I don't remember what times like I don't know, four or five o'clock in Pelican Bay, and then they come back and they give you a bag lunch. So when they came back in to give you to give out the bag lunches, I seen the the the the the CEO that came for the bottom tier; he went down there and started popping slots to give those guys their lunches, and then I'm watching the CEO that was coming up the stairs with our lunches up on the upper tier. I seen him take two steps up the stairs and stop; me just froze, and I see them looking down, and then I see him bend down, and I see him turn around. He tells the other CEO; hey, tells him something, and they both leave; they leave, and they [ __ ] close the the door; the gate closes. As soon as that happens, I hear the I hear downstairs the AVS telling the medals, hey, you got that right; you just seen what happened. And oh yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. So they caught it, too. I mean, you have to be deafed on me blind not to uh Pelican Bay; it housed the most savvy, sharpest, most sophisticated inmate in the state of California, and that's that's no [ __ ]. You had all your abs, all your medals, all your NF members, and all your North Daniels, your your some of the most educated individuals were up there. So yeah, they were, you know, I wasn't the only [ __ ] uh I was surrounded by sharp sharp individuals, man.
Um, anyway, so right after that uh they came in probably around 30 minutes later, you know what I mean? I I already put everything away; got rid of all my [ __ ]; was ready for him to come up in there. They came up in there [ __ ] like 30 [ __ ] deep Mossy ass deep and pulled us all out; pulled us all out; walked us all out to the hall and put us in different cages up and down uh the corridor up and down um d d facility hallway. So you know, they went in; tore our [ __ ] up. I'm talking about tore it up. I'm lucky I didn't really have that much property. I'm doing a parole violation; I'm not there on a [ __ ] new beef, so I don't got [ __ ] loads of [ __ ] legal work in Thousand books, and I got my little [ __ ] knapsack [ __ ] I can throw on a [ __ ] uh sticking and tie it up and put it on my shoulder. You know what I mean? Um, so when we come back the pot is destroyed. They destroy you know, I walk in; I was one of the first ones to come back in; it's like the second or third. So you know, walking on the lower tier just looking in the cells, I look I could see the doors were still open because nobody had come back in except for like one or two other cats. But walking by looking in the cells, I was like, God damn, you know what I mean? They [ __ ] tore [ __ ] up, and I knew my [ __ ] was gonna be tore up. And sure enough, I got up to the upper tier, and we got it, too. They found I guess they found the perazos. These guys tried to [ __ ] get slick and hide them in their wall or something. They tried to put them in the wall and create some some you know the I know what they did because we done the same thing. Basically, what you do is you the wall is not the paint on the wall is not completely white; it's not like a bright white; it's it's kind of like it's got a tint to it. So if you're gonna dig out a hole in your wall and you're gonna hide something in there, you got to take a little bit of ink from the from your your ink filler and you gotta make some paint basically is what you're gonna you're gonna make some put some like putty type of [ __ ]. You take a little bit of ink, some toothpaste, you might even uh throw in some some a little bit of toilet paper uh to make basically it's going to come out like a like gravy; it's gonna come out kind of like that. Then you put your [ __ ] up on the wall, and then you use that to kind of like to conceal it the best way you can, but it's got to be done right, man. It's got to be done right, and the the coloring can't put too much ink in where it's too dark, and you got to kind of play with it to where it matches and all that [ __ ]. But anyway, it's they try to do something like that, and they got caught. The they got written up for it. I heard them talking about it on the tear; they got D.A. referrals, and some of the other cats trying to get rid of their [ __ ] down the toilet; they didn't go too far. I mean, these [ __ ] had some some big ass better [ __ ], man. That that stairs alone; it's long as [ __ ], man. So they could have made like they could have made about six pieces that long each and probably would have still had some left over. You know what I mean? They were still had some left over, and they could even shot me the rest and been like, hey, fair fight, homie. You know, Gates crack; let's kill each other, man. But but uh anyways, so that incident happened; that was one incident that happened that was no worthy of talking about. Other than that, um, up until that point, nothing else really happened. There was two two of the Southsiders; eventually, they they moved to another block, so they moved into Africanus Africa um an africano from I think he was from Sunnyvale, and he had a Sally out of Frisco from matter of fact, he was from Sunny Dale. It's crazy; Sunnyvale Sunny Dale. But Cool Cats; there were cool africanos; older cats; BGF laced up sharp. So you know, they hit me with the George Jackson literature when they came in there, so it was cool. Plus one of them was my chest chest partner, and it was a break in monotony, man. It was, you know, I felt like I had some allies now; somebody I could really [ __ ] chop it up with. And then you know, Bandit I kind of looked at me as an ally, but still it just gave me a little bit more. I would talk to the Southsiders, and I would talk to the to the woods, but it was limited because it was just kind of it was still it was kind of weird, man. It wasn't we weren't chumming it up like that, man. So with with these africanos, one of them being from Frisco, I could talk about [ __ ] that he could relate to, and it was just a different different kind of vibe, man.
So anyway, one of the other Southsiders a cell was with one of the other South Siders ended up moving out, and it opened up a cell directly underneath me 109. And I'm waiting, you know, when there's a when there's an empty cell, man, everybody in there is it it's hard to explain; it's like everybody's happy; it's that's the best way I could say it; everybody's happy because it's like we're getting some new blood. Everybody's excited to see who's it going to be; is it going to be a northern; there's gonna be a southern; it's going to be a white; is it going to be a Samoan; a [ __ ] uh uh apidgeration uh is it gonna be a [ __ ] Cambodia. Everybody's happy; that's it's it's crazy, man. That's how isolated and how secluded you are back there. There's eight cells with there could be anywhere from 10 to 12 15 bodies in there, but after a while, you know, this some of the same old same old becomes redundant; it becomes um you know, boring, man. You know, so you want some new blood. So when when there's an empty cell, everybody's kind of happy, man, like who are we gonna get? We're gonna get some new [ __ ] faces in there soon, you know me. So that day that they brought somebody else in, I remember hearing the cards coming in, and I used to tell you guys I've told you guys before Pelican Bay everything is based on sound up there because I've done so many years up there. I learned how to how to basically I learned how to make my ears become my eyes. I couldn't see nothing from looking out of the cell; all you see is a concrete wall. So everything's based on sound. I know I've said this before, but for the new the new guys, I'm telling you again; I'm saying it again; everything's based on sound. So I can only see a concrete wall, so I gotta train my ears to become my eyes. What I can't see I can hear. So I knew what every gate in that's in that uh pod sounded like by how it's squeaked. I knew what the what the control Booth was doing by just The Sounds were coming coming from up there. If he was in the locker, I could hear the locker. If he was [ __ ] around with the belly chains, I obviously I heard the chains moving around. If he was popping doors, I could hear him up there. So you know, everything everything uh that happened in there I could hear it, and I would know what it was. The the laundry cart would was a big cart, and it rolled; it had a different kind of hollow sound when it rolled; that was different from the canteen car. The canteen cart was different from the food cart, and so on so forth. So you know, and then not only could I hit not only did I know what cell door would open in the pot by how it's squeaked, but I used to be able to hear some you know the way that people walked; what do they call it; their gate? I could I would listen to like on the upper tier years later when I would be on the lower tier, and I'd hear guys walking on the upper tier; I knew their walk. If it was a slow walk, it was this individual. If it was like a [ __ ] happy [ __ ] skippity type of [ __ ], it was this [ __ ] fruitcake. If it was, you know, a low stroll, it was a stroll real strong slow; it was a [ __ ] super cholo, you know me. So everything I learned how to identify everything with sound, man. And you're in that type of environment; your awareness is peaking; it it Peaks back there; it you have to, man. You're you're again you're Behind Enemy Lines, and there's just too much [ __ ] going on, man. You're in you're not in a good place; you know; it's the best way I can say it. So anyway, I hear I hear a cart coming; I hear I hear two carts coming. So I know, okay, we got two bodies coming in. I could hear like two different sets of Wheels. They have these little small cards that usually they they would put the food carts on or they put the uh the lunch is on when they would serve. I heard two of those rolling, so I knew they're they're willing somebody down the hallway that's coming right now. And sure enough, our gate pop; yep; everybody in the Pod to be like, hey, here they come. So in steps into two uh older cats, right? One of them chiseled up kind of tall; I've got a got a little whip; the other one's an older cat probably in his 60s uh grayed out gray hair [ __ ] uh you know, kind of kind of heavy [ __ ]
] Not really in shape, just the older cat, man. Um [ __ ] Stopped doing burpees like five years ago anyway. So they come in and um, you know, they will, their [ __ ] in, and one of them starts walking around and just introducing himself to, to themselves down on the lower tier. And I hear him, comes up, comes up the, the stairs, and he stops in the corner, and I hear him; he's like, "Hey, what's up, Bandit?" And Bandit's like, "Hey, what's going on, man?" So they're talking. Then I see him, I see him up on the gate, like they're talking real low. I can't hear what they're saying now, but he's down there for a minute. So I'm thinking, man, maybe this is, maybe these are homeboys, right? I don't know. I ain't seen a [ __ ] homie since I've been there. I've been there about five months; there ain't nobody been in my pod. I've been uh, bolo, solo, solo, bolo for five months. So Bandit obviously tells him, "Hey, you got a homie down there at the end of the hall, right at the end of the tier." So I'm just assuming that based on what happened after, because after he comes down, he's introducing himself. Ray, all right, my name is, my name is Pancho, right from Sacramento. Then he comes to myself; he's like, "Hey, what's up, homie?" He's like, "Hey, my name is Pancho, uh, Frank, uh, Baca." He's like, "Um, just let you know, Marcelli, we're both Cardenas, you know what I'm saying? Uh, uh, the homie down there, Bandit told me that you're, you're Nathaniel." Is like, "Uh, so we'll be getting at you, you know, we just, we just pulled up, um, we were in uh, like D3 or D4, you know, as soon as we get situated, little homie, we'll be hollering at you. All right, bro. Hey, uh, man, I'm glad to see you, bro. I've been by myself over here for a minute, you know I mean? Uh, much respects, bro. It's a, it's an honor and a pleasure to meet you guys, man. This is the, like this is the first time in the Bay that I really been able to be around NF members. You always hear about these guys before you come to prison, and they're, they're talked about like they're [ __ ], like they're Gods, man. These guys are, are they're militant; most of them are [ __ ] ex-marines; they're, they're regimented, disciplined, hard-lined [ __ ]; uh, some of the, the, the sharpest individuals you'll ever meet, you know, that you hear all, all kinds of stuff like that about these guys, man. So you know, I'm like intrigued and fascinated by the fact that I got two NF members with me now that are obviously, they're older dudes; they must been, they must have been around for a while.
So anyway, they get situated, right? They get situated. Once they get situated, it's like the, the next day or something, they run showers. Pancho comes up, slides a [ __ ] big ass kite under my door. Anyway, the kite, it introduces himself as well as his Sally. Pancho from Sacramento, Jaime Corpus from Fresno. I remember their names, man, trust me, I do. So you know, if they go on to say, you know, "We're Carnage, uh, we, we both been around since the 70s," they call um, you know, my, my Shelly, they call them Jaime, that apparently they, they called him, uh, uh, what was it, man? It was like, um, Black Jesus or some [ __ ], some crazy, I don't remember, man. I'm bullshitting, but it was like black something; it wasn't black jazz or nothing like that. I know black jazz, and but it was something like that. So you know, they're telling me that they've been around for, for this long, and that uh, you know, right now that there's a split in the NF, and you know, they're, they're representing the, the, the part or the, you know, that there's a rift, and that they're, they're on the right side, and they go into a little bit about the reasons why; it was up some leadership issues and and some other cats that were pushing a, a negative agenda. Anyway, so that, you know, he asked me to get back at him, give him a little bit of my history, where I'm at on my, on my glass shop, you know what kind of things am I interested in, knowing, you know, if I ever thought about taking that step. And I'm like, taking a step? God damn's the first [ __ ] kite that he shoots me, and he's asking me if, if I ever thought about taking a step into the NF. And I mean, of course, I'd already got recruited into the NR, and of course I wasn't just cool with that. Once I involved myself, I'm going to the top; that's every, I believe that should be every NR member's, you know, that's what they should be aspiring to be, is to become an NF Member. One day, become a leader, to develop, to keep developing, to keep elevating. To keep elevating. Some guys, they, you know, they, they elevate to a certain point, and they're good right there, and I, I respect that. But me, I was like, "Hell yeah, I'm aspiring to be a C. I'm in it for the long haul, man." Um, that's how I felt at that time when I was a youngster. I considered myself a hardcore norteño; that's what I used to do; it's all I used to do. I was willing to give up everything for the cause: my life, my freedom, my kids, my family, everything. And I did. However, um, you know, anyway, I, you know, I answered them, yeah, you know, um, as far as my education, I've been, you know, I went over the bonds, it went over the format, I went over the Historia, I went over this, this, this and that, seven phases, Mainline training, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? As far as me wanting to take that step, that is most definitely a goal of mine, when I'm ready, when I develop into that individual, when I develop into, you know, a worthy Prospect where Carnales feel that I'm ready to take that step, I'm there, man. This, that I'm in it, um, you know, for the Long Haul, and I'm, I'm not just in it to just stop it and just an NR member.
So anyway, I had basically, I had expressed my a desire to make that commitment. So you know, over the course of the next month, two months, they start educating me on the, not only on the NR, the NR history, but then they start delving off into, into topics that are interrelated towards, you know, to the NF: a lot of hypotheticals, a lot of different scenarios, a lot of um, what ifs, and what would I do. And so you know, I'm getting some top-notch collection, I'm thinking, right? And you know, they're even giving me portions of the Bible, and Pancho was telling me, "This is the NF biblio right here. This is this is, this is uh, this is our Bible; this is our constitution. I can get killed for giving you this; however, I'm giving you sections out of order, and the reason why I'm doing it is because I believe you have the potential to become a C one day. You're sharp, you're, you're driven, you know, um, just from I, what, what, what I've picked up from, you know, knowing you here in this pod, you seem like a, a an intelligent, sharp hermano that's striving; you're, uh, you know, you're open to being educated; you're, you know, you're somebody that's a 10 if they go through all this [ __ ], right?" So give me all kinds of praise, man, and I suck it all up. Yeah, yeah, yep, yep, uh-huh, yup, that too, yup, oh yeah, hell yeah. So anyway, um, you know, I used to play chess with the Africanus. Um, Africa was really my, my chess partner, but Jaime, the older cat from Fresno, that never used to come up on the upper tier to shower, so my in my interaction with him was very limited; it was whatever happened basically over the tier. Pancho used to come up to my, my door, so I would interact with him more; I got to know him more. Like I said, Jaime was just, it was, I think they called him the Black Pope, something like that, I swear to God, man. But anyway, so it was real limited; it's like based on what happened over the tier, um, or what could be said over the tier; that's as much as I would interact with Jaime. Anyway, so other than that, he used to like to play chess. So we start playing chess; we start playing chess, man. Him being that I'm playing with the C, uh, an NF member, I wanted to be real respectful; I didn't want to make any mistakes; I didn't want to, you know. So I kept it, I kept it straight G, man, uh, real respectful, even when we would play. And it seemed like I'd be [ __ ], I'd be on a roll; I was killing them, man. I was, I take his [ __ ] Queen, take this, take that; I was whooping that ass on the chessboard. All of a sudden, my pieces start ending up on squares where they weren't, and it's like some straight bone-headed [ __ ], and I'm a chessologist, man, straight up. I don't give a [ __ ] uh, how good you said your chess game is; I've been playing since I was 10. I know how to shoot chess, man. Um, but some of the, some of the mistakes that this cat, I'm lightweight playing, man, but what I'm saying is like some of the things, some of the moves that this dude said I was making, they were like, but they didn't make no sense; like my queen was just free; like I take three minutes to move, and I have enough time to look at the whole board, but my queen is just somehow sitting there all by itself after I've already taken his Queen and and decimated his [ __ ] little, his army. My queen just sitting there by some, you know. First, like I said, I didn't, I was like, "Oh, damn, man, you shot that homie," so my Queen's gone. That [ __ ] started happening a lot more; I started losing games, and I don't lose that many chess games. I am a real, on the real, not, not being arrogant, but I, I do know how to play chess, um, and there's not too many people that can beat me. I started at a very young age; my stepfather taught me how to play when I was 11 or 10 or 11, and over the years I used to play chess, even in some of the tournaments in Frisco, downtown on Market Street. I used to sit there and play with dudes that were a lot older than me, you know. For my birthday one time, my mom got me a chest, an electric chest game where I would play against the machine on the, on like easy, um, hard, or extremely hard, like with just some, you know, when you get it, when you play chess like that on that level, you know how to shoot that [ __ ]. But my point is, is this dude start cheating, man. He start cheating. At first, I let that [ __ ] ride; I let it ride because it wasn't that important; I was just like, "Ah, [ __ ], dude wants to win that bad [ __ ], let him win, man." But you know, at the same time, man, uh, it started to come to the point where it started, it wasn't even fun no more; it was like, here I am beating this dude legitimately, and then somehow towards the end of the game, my pieces end up all over the board, and then he just runs through me.
So there was one time, there was one time when we were playing, and I was mopping his ass up; I was [ __ ] him up, took his [ __ ] right off the [ __ ] rip, you know what I'm saying? And all of a sudden, my pieces started landing in different spots, and I was like, "Hey, man, I'm cool, man, I'm good, I'm cool, man, you know what? I'm gonna go ahead and just step on back because I'm getting frustrated; my pieces are ending up in squares where they're not." And this dude was like, "What do you, I mean, what do you mean, bro? You think I'm cheating or what, man?" I'm like, "I'm not saying nothing; all I'm saying is that my pieces are ending up on different spots; I don't know if you got your board number different; I don't know what the [ __ ] going on, but this takes all the fun out of it for me; it's past time, homie, you know what I'm saying? It's past time; it's not that serious; I ain't gonna cheat you, man, to beat you. If, if you know you could beat me heads up, square square, I mean, Fair Square, then amen; I'ma shake your hand, give you a good game and tell you, um, you're a [ __ ], uh, uh, a genius and a scholar, man." But it wasn't happening like that, man. This dude was straight cheating, man, and uh, it was getting to his ego that I was beating him; that's what it was, straight up. So when I said that, that I was cool, that I wasn't playing, um, all of a sudden, tough guy Pancho jumps up off his bunk, and I hear him, I, I hear his feet hit the ground hella hard. He goes, "Hey, hey, uh, Hey Boxer, uh, Hey, set your board up, and uh, we're gonna play right now, and we're gonna play for a thousand [ __ ], 22 counts, and if you lose, you're gonna pay right now, and if I lose, I'm gonna pay." And I was like, "Nah, I'm cool, man, like I said, I'm good, man. I put my board up, and and I'm good with that." And he was like, "Hey, I'm not asking you; I'm telling you to set your board up." No, let me say this, man. I'm 22 years old; I, I am, I am committed to the NR, and I respect the NF. My heart was, was, was, any, especially when I was younger, I was like really trying to, I was inspiring to be everything I could [ __ ] be, and I was willing to, to take, not only take penitentiary chances, but I was willing to spill blood or spill my blood for this movement. I wasn't no fake dude; I was really about that [ __ ]. I had dedicated my life to this [ __ ]. Later on, like I said, I would give my kids up; I, you know what I mean? So I was really [ __ ]; I was a real believer, man. But I was still a man, and I, I was still demanded my respect as a man, and I'm not gonna let anybody talk to me just like I'm some kind of [ __ ] riffraff. I don't give a [ __ ] who you are, NF, FN, uh, whoever you are, especially if I don't disrespect you, if I got that respect, you just don't do that. I don't, I never, I hadn't been around NF members that much, but I do know that from everything I'd heard, they don't address you like that; they're not gonna [ __ ] talk to you publicly in front of all kinds of, not just adversaries, but just other people that are outside of our Circle and ripping to you like that, and and belittle you and degrade you, and and it'd be okay. You know, I was, I still had my pride at 22 years old, man, and when he said that, I was like, "Hey, bro, like I said, I'm done; I'm done playing, and um, I'm not gonna go, I'm not gonna get into that, man, you know what I'm saying?" So like I said, I played for [ __ ] fun, to pass time. And let me tell you guys this too: when we were having this conversation, the whole [ __ ] pod went silent because it was obvious this was escalating, and the tension was thick as [ __ ]. So you know, I, I try to respectfully slide back, but this dude kept on pushing, man. He was like, "Hey, no, I'm, I'm telling you, you're gonna set your board up." And I'm like, "No, you're not telling me nothing; I'm not setting my board up; I'm done with that, man; I'm not gonna get myself caught up." And he was like, "You're not gonna, you're not gonna set it up, huh?" And I was like, "No, that's, that's what I said, man; I'm not setting my board up." He goes, "Chacos, like chakas, you're through; you're done, right?" So I'm like, "Okay, it's all good, no problem, bro, you know what I'm saying?" So he was like, "Um, I'm not gonna lie, man; I'm stressed out; stressed out, pissed off from up there [ __ ] walking labs, pissed off, wanting to kill something, can't kill nothing, uh, wondering if I [ __ ] up. I'm, I'm replaying the whole incident back in my mind, like, did I really, did I really make the right choices? Did I do the right thing? Should I have handled it different?" Um, and I kept on replaying it in my mind; I was like, "Nah, man, I did everything I did to keep it respectful, and I, I handled it the way that I should have, and and I honestly believe that, man." Um, so you know, this guy obviously probably knew I was, I was stressed out, and you know, he made a point of interacting with other people in the pod purposely to, like, make it feel like I was the one that was being cast out, and that he was still part of the In Crowd, or he was still part of the community, and like it was me that was being pushed out. That's the best way I can explain it, and I hope I'm explaining it to you guys the right way. That's the whole reason for him to reach; it was uncharacteristic the way he did it, how he hollered over to the woods, and how he hollered over to the emeros in there, and it was nothing more than for the purpose of making, making it look like I was the one that got cast out, right?
So I don't say nothing for the rest of the day; it's all good. They took me off roll call that night, right? Didn't, didn't say [ __ ] to me, which I was like, cool, I expected it. The next day, um, the Africanos, at some point during the day, I yelled down to the Africanus, and I said, "Hey, uh, come on, freak up." He's like, "Yeah, what's up, Box?" And I'm like, "Hey, um, how do I get to the law library, man?" I had never been to Law Library since I've been there; I hadn't been there, um, like I said, there was no other homies there, so I didn't know nothing about how to get there, nothing, man. And I had really, I didn't really have an interest in going, so I never really thought about going to the law library, um, and when I told him that, he was like, "Hey, all you got to do is get one of, one of the forms from the CEO and fill it out and turn it in, and they'll, you know, you'd be on that next chain, right?" So I'm like, "Okay." And I say it openly over the tiers so everybody can hear. And something else happened after that that's, that was, that was crazy. So everybody heard the conversation between me and Pancho. Nobody likes bullies, man. Nobody likes bullies, nobody, even, even though you might be from a different, even though you might be adversary, or you guys might be, um, from a different group, like the ABS and the surrenals, nobody likes bullies. If, if I was in North Daniel and I, you know, I'm in a pod, and I see some A's and they're pressing a little, you know, a little young, young white kid, like, and this is a, he ain't no [ __ ] square; he's somebody that, you know, he's a little [ __ ], uh, he's a little up-and-coming [ __ ], but these guys are pressing this youngster, and they're, they're using their, you know, they're, they're using their weight on this kid, man, and just straight [ __ ], uh, bullying them around because of their status, nobody's gonna like that, man. So it was kind of the same thing with me. What happened was is the next time they ran showers, the woods, the two ABS that broke off the a piece of the stair, Pancho and Sally Beaver, well, when they came out, Pancho came up on the upper tier to shower, and he slid a kite under my doors; he slid a kite under my door, and he's like, "Check it out, look, man, I don't want to get in your business, and I apologize if you think I'm, I'm involving myself or if I'm intruding on your guys's business, but I just want to let you know I heard what happened on the tier, and you know, I go to the law library all the time, and from an outsider's perspective, I think that there's something wrong that you need to look into, the whole, the whole get down, the way that they treated you in, in, you know..."
Um, openly on the tear in front of everybody is something that I just—I've been around a lot of NF members, and that's not the way they conduct themselves. So what I'm telling you is, I think you need to reach out and get at your people and see if there might be something else going on. And I, I was, I was floored, man. I was like, wow, I didn't even think about that. I didn't think about that, man. Uh, maybe these dudes are not what they're saying that they are. Maybe these dudes are, maybe they're [ __ ] uh, they're Charlotte in this, man. You know what I mean? Um, maybe they're Hermits [ __ ]. So anyway, uh, um, when, when Frank comes out, I tell me—I appreciate that, man. I don't—hey, I in no way do I feel like you're intruding, man. I appreciate the, you know, that for you extending your hand the way that you did, man. And uh, yeah, if you, if you do go to the law library, because he said he went all the time, and if he needs me to relay anything, he will. Anyways, like I'll probably be going, um, maybe tomorrow. If I do, I know who you people are. I've been up here—I'm a lifer; I've been here for a while. I reach out and I'll get it, somebody for you until you can touch down yourself. And I'm like, cool, I appreciate it, man. So anyway, here the next day, he went to Law Library and—no, okay, so I take it back. I didn't ask the africano how to get to Law Library yet; it didn't happen yet. It was, it was about to happen. So they did call the word to the law library. The next day he went, he comes back from the law library, he comes into the pod, and I watch him get uncuffed and [ __ ], and he tells the control booth—the cool ass cat named George—he was hella cool—he [ __ ] let you come out on the tear if you need, you got a package or something and split it up, but he'll pop you out and let you do your thing. And he, he was cool; he let you come out and fish from one part of the next floor. Options was gone; he'd be like, you got five minutes, hurry the [ __ ] up. So Frank came in from the law library, said, George, can I run up 209 real quick? George, like, make it fast. So he came up the stairs, came to my door, slid something up under my door; he's like, that's from your homeboy Courtney. So boom, I had heard about Corny before, and I was like, damn [ __ ] Corny, you know what I mean? I was like, to me at that time, it was like, wow, um, okay, you know, this is the big homie, right? So I get—a matter of fact, he said Corny and Pinky. So anyway, I popped it, I popped the gun open, the kite, and basically it was like, hey, um, and this was something that he had just written up at the law library. He wrote it like quick because they obviously had a conversation right there, and as a result of the conversation, this was a response to me about what had happened. So Corny was like, look, hey, we heard about what happened. I'm gonna tell you right now, Frank Baca, Frank, uh, Frank Pancho Baca from Sakura is a [ __ ] deal. His celly, Jaime Corpus—forget his name, I want to say the Black Pope or something, some weird ass name you [ __ ] called this dude—they're both [ __ ] drop-offs. Corny said, look, do everything within your ability to get in the cell with one of those dudes and [ __ ] get your [ __ ] money. Oh, wait, you ain't got to tell me twice, man. You know what I mean? Um, I'm like, hell yeah, I get some [ __ ], get back; I'm about to get my justice, man. So I don't say nothing; I'm like, I'm keeping this—this is like a [ __ ], uh, this is an Ace in the Hole, man, straight up. I'm like, I'm not gonna say nothing to Pancho; I'm not gonna expose my hand; I'm just gonna, I'm gonna play my cards right and see what I can without what I can maneuver right. Soon, just so happened after he slid that kite, I yelled down—that's when I yelled down to the africano, how do I get to law library? And that's when he told me to get the request and Boo-Boo, right? So Pancho, obviously, he heard that. Now, in his mind, he's probably like, oh, this dude's gonna go to law library; he's gonna find out about us; he's gonna find out what we're really about, and we gotta stop that. He don't know though that this a—b already gave me this kite, and I already know what, what time it is with these cats. So next shower—and keep in mind we haven't talked at all since the chess game; we haven't talked—they got me on [ __ ] shutdown, straight up. He comes up to my gate, slides up another gun up under there. I'm so mad, you know, I was so mad at that point, I almost wanted to kick it out to sell, like, [ __ ] out of here. But I, I open it up and I read it, man, and it's basically like, bro, look, man, you know what, uh, you're the little homie, man, and you know I mean, what happened was, was just—it was in the heat of the moment; it was impulse; competitive juices was flowing, and it don't have to be like that, bro. You know, I'm exposing things with you I could get killed for, and you know, let's, let's square up, man, and, and uh, put this behind us, you know I mean? I want to work with you, little homie, and you're my little bro, and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, you [ __ ] them punk ass [ __ ] mans, but I gotta, I gotta play along with this [ __ ], right? And he's like, hey, Marcelly's gonna be leaving, um, in like two weeks. You know, I wanna, I wanna, uh, try to educate you as much as possible before he leaves, because there's no telling, they could end up moving me out, you know what I mean? Since I'll be on the bottom tier with no celly. And I was like, bing, light bulb, right? So I'm like, okay, I'm thinking now, my mind's racing. Okay, how do I play this, man? Whoa, right? Boom, got it, jackpot, right? So he comes out, he comes out the shower, hey, you know what, Pancho? Hey, I appreciate it, my boy. I'm, I'm, uh, I was wrong, you know, um, I take whatever form of discipline that you gave me, bro. You know, I shouldn't have said what I said, you know, carnalists—they deserve nothing but the utmost respect. I was just mad, bro, like you said, man, and you know, um, I appreciate it, bro. I appreciate you reaching out to me. I'm young homie, you know I'm saying? I'm young, and and I'm still, I'm cocky, bro. You know what I'm saying? I need to, I need to learn how to be around guys like—I'm blowing this [ __ ] head up; he's sucking it up too. I'm blowing this motherfucker's head—anyway, he's like, yeah, man, it's all good, bro. It's all good, man. So, um, you know, I get it; I'll get at you. Boom. So we shake pinkies, stick a little finger through the [ __ ] little circle, like, all right, bro. You know what I mean? We're good now; we're straight now. I'm thinking like, his celly's leaving in two weeks; I'm going up in that cell, man. I'm gonna get up in that cell, and and that's that's my, um, that's all I'm thinking about for the next two weeks, man. And you know, they continue to get at me. And at first, you, you know, the other thing is this, man. Okay, let me back up for a minute because I remember now, it didn't quite happen the way that I said. There was something that I forgot to tell you guys. So when he first jumped off his bed and was talking about, you know, you're, uh, you're gonna play chess and, and you know, basically he was trying to [ __ ] up us, you know, whatever you want to call it, man, uh, uh, he was trying to [ __ ] strong army or, um, use his muscle based on his status, um, you know, at first I just said, I'm just gonna back up; I'm cool, man. And that's when he said chakas—he said all that, right? But then the next time he came to shower, he slid a kite under my door, and it was like, hey, what you did, bro, was wrong, and you know, um, you're gonna learn, um, you know, we don't, you don't talk to [ __ ] carnalists like that, and you could get killed for that, and blah, blah, blah. And because of what you did, I won a ten thousand word—that's saying—this was like a day later; my jets had already cooled down. I'm thinking, okay, it's an opportunity for me to get back [ __ ] it. I start writing 10,000 words; I get like 5,000 words in; I'm pissed, man. [ __ ] this [ __ ] ten thousand words—that says I ain't doing [ __ ]. I ripped the [ __ ] up, man. I told my hey that, uh, that thing that you wanted, man, that, uh, that, that 10—he was like, yeah. I told him over here, I ain't [ __ ] doing that [ __ ], man. I'm good, bro. And that's when he was like, shock us, you know, um, you're done. So anyway, we bury the hatchet; everything's straight. Over the next two weeks, I don't play no more chess with these cats; I'm, I'm just—now I'm trying to finesse my way up in the cell, and I get at them, and I tell them, hey, Pancho, so your celly's gonna be leaving in a couple weeks, man. I don't want you to, I don't want you to move, man. You know, the glacier that you're giving, I need it, bro. And you know, I'm short; I'm just doing a violation on me. So what I wanted to ask you is if I could move down the cell with you, man, when your celly leaves, this way we can keep that cell on the bottom, uh, tier. You know, I'm not tripping off the bottom bunk; I ain't tripping off none of that [ __ ], man. I just, I want to get my glass shot, bro, and you know, be it being with the righteous. Do—he ain't stupid; that [ __ ] wasn't stupid. Hell no, he wasn't, man. He was like, nah, man, I already got somebody lined up, and uh, we already got something worked out, and you know, it's like, I appreciate, you know, the gesture and all that, but you know, I still, uh, on education, but I'm probably gonna end up going over there where he's at. And you know, I honestly, man, I felt like just saying, you know what, [ __ ] you, [ __ ] [ __ ] both of you [ __ ] pieces of [ __ ], but I didn't. I, I continued to, I continued that I held my character, and instead of going that route and being disrespectful—that's not so—that's not the way I conduct myself, even back then at an early age, I didn't conduct myself like that. All I did was, I kept it to myself that I knew, and you know, I just, hey, there's another time, and there's another place for an opportunity to get at this cat; I'll take advantage of it. Until then, I'm gonna just keep it on the, on the, you know, on the slumbers, man, and act like I let him—act like he thinks he's got one up on me, but really I know what time it is. And if I get the chance, man, I'm a [ __ ] knock your [ __ ] head off, man. So I didn't say nothing; I let his, his celly ended up paroling, and he ended up moving. Later, I did tell the other cats in the pod though—I told the woods—they're not active; they're drop-offs. And I'm just—the only reason why I'm telling you guys is because I don't want you to interact with them or do something that you might put yourself out there, and it might not, it might come back to hurt you. So just letting you know, their, their dropouts; my homies told me that they're no good. And um, that's just for you guys, is, you know, for, for you guys' info, man. You know what I mean? So you guys can know what time it is. And you know, that pretty much, uh, that was it, man. Uh, he ended up leaving out of the pod all the way up until the last day he left, man. Uh, I still continue to play that role. All right, Pancho, take care of yourself, bro. It's like, all right, box. Yeah, yeah. And as soon as he left, man, I told him—I yelled down in Africa with my freak—I was like, boy, man, [ __ ] straight coward, man. Everybody in there, I can hear [ __ ] laughing because they knew, you know, they knew I wanted to get in there with them. But it was a valuable lesson for me, man. I was 22 years old; I got played; got played out of pocket by two [ __ ] Hermits. They were NF Hermits that were just—they were floating around in the shoe—the shoe is a big [ __ ] D facility and C facility. They're two huge ass facilities. The D facility has 12—has 10 blocks, one through ten. C facility has 12 blocks, one through twelve. So it's huge, man. You could be there in Pelican Bay for five, ten years, and there's another homeboy there from your hood, and he's in another block somewhere; you might not never run into them. That's how big it is; you might not never run into them for the entire time you're there. Um, so you know, it was a learning experience, like I said, for me, man. Um, I was always real leery after that whenever I'd run into somebody. But you know, a lot of the red flags that went up for me in retrospect, when I thought about it, I paid attention. And a lot of the red flags, I was on point when I was thinking to myself, like, why is this dude exposing his hand to me the first, the first day he meets me? He don't know [ __ ] about me; I could be a dropout, you know I mean? I could be somebody in bad standings, but yet he's exposing himself as an NF member, not even after 20, 20 words—hey, my name is Pancho from Sakura; me and Marcelly were both Ganellas; we're both NF members from the 70s. Anyway, I would end up staying there for the, for the duration of my violation, um, I think I, I had like 10 or 11 months on that, uh, on that violation right there. Nothing else would happen, uh, except for my 49ers—either they won or lost the Super Bowl that year. Bandit—me and him would go back and forth on the [ __ ] football. That dude was a [ __ ] Cowboy fanatic, and I was a 49er die-hard. And when they used to go at it, if the Niners won, you know, he used to [ __ ] get pissed off and he'd be mad. And if the Niners lost and he was over there cheerleading, and I remember one time he cheerleaded against my team, and I was so [ __ ] pissed that every—you know, he used to get a lot of magazines. And when, when you know, the next day after the game, he—I felt like he took it too far—he's like, yeah, [ __ ] them punk ass [ __ ] homosexual [ __ ]. And hey, man, they got homosexuals everywhere, boy. But you know, when he said that, I was like, man, um, boy went too far. He came down to slide his, his magazines under my door, and I just kicked him out—on—I kicked him out. He was like, bro, what's wrong with you? And I'm like, bro, don't [ __ ] know; don't bring me [ __ ]; I don't, I don't wanna check out none of your magazines; I ain't got no rap for you, bro. You know what I'm saying? You [ __ ], you took that too far, bro. And all that [ __ ], you start talking about the city, bro. You know I mean? You know, it was disrespectful, man. So we're cool; we're done, bro. I'm cool with you, man. And you know, I was young; I would—a little bit of that was me being young. Um, they got them cats; I could sit there everywhere; they're [ __ ] um, all over—it's not just San Francisco's problem no more. So, but I used to take that personal when the Niners would play [ __ ] would say that, and I'd be like, man, why you gotta go there? Why everybody got to go there all the time, man? So that was the only other thing that happened; my happy ass would end up paroling, um, you know, at some point. But I took a valuable lesson from that that violation right there—first time in Pelican Bay; I got a [ __ ] wake-up call, man. That being said, man, this was episode 26. I hope you guys enjoyed it; I hope some of you took something from it. It's crazy, man; the shoe is not what it used to be; they shut them down. I mean, you still get shoes, um, you can still catch a shoe program in the state of California, but the validated, in the tournament shoes—that shit's a thing of the past. But it used to be crazy, man, though. I spent years back there—years and years—and a lot of it was just pro violations, even pro violation—10 and 12 months—that's where I spent them back there in the shoe program. But anyways, like I said, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode 26, man. I'm gonna keep it moving; I don't know if I'm a drop of War Stories tonight, but you guys got two inner demons—Imma hit you with some War Stories tomorrow. With that said, it's your boy B, and I'm out.