Transcription
The wealthiest people I know, you'd never pick them out of a crowd. They're in the coffee line. They're driving a 10-year-old car, shopping without designer labels. You'd never guess they have millions in the bank. They're quietly wealthy.
They understand the smart habits and the boring habits are what actually create wealth. In fact, I left a dead-end job to build a multiple seven-figure business from scratch. And along the way, I had to completely unlearn the habits that were keeping me broke and replace them with quiet habits that build wealth. So, in this video, I'm sharing with you 11 of those habits and how you can adopt them, too. Let's dive in.
Habit number one, parallel productivity. Quietly wealthy people are not harder working than you. They hate hard work. And so, if they can do something easier with less work, they will. And so what I'm about to reveal to you is actually going to sound like multitasking, but it isn't. It isn't what you're doing when you multitask. In fact, we've all heard that multitasking doesn't work. And for the most part, this is true. At least in the way most of us do it. Because what we call multitasking is usually just task switching. Switching to a podcast, then checking your phone, then switching back to writing the email. And so unlike computers that can do this rapidly without really even realizing it, whenever we switch between a task, there's this mental cost and it adds up over time. More mistakes, slower work, and then more more burnout.
And so here's what quietly wealthy people understand and take advantage of. There's a version of multitasking that does work, and I like to call it parallel productivity. Your brain can't solve two math problems at the same time because you don't have enough brain power to do this and you can't listen to two podcasts at the same time because your brain can only process one thing coming in at a time. But our brains can do this thing called crossmodal attention. We can focus on one thing at the same time doing something else unconsciously. And so this might look like listening to a business audio book while walking or reflecting on a new business idea while folding the laundry or watching a course or learning a new skill while commuting to work. This turns those routine activities or what you would consider dead time into real output and opportunities for growth. So, the quietly wealthy end up multiplying their productivity and earnings, not through grinding harder or doing more, but through squeezing more value out of the time that they have.
Habit number two, know your value. Quietly wealthy people have a unique ability to think about value. It directly correlates to how much they value themselves. So, here's a question. What is your most valuable asset? Most people think their most valuable asset is their money, but quietly wealthy people know this is wrong. Quietly wealthy people know their most valuable asset is time. Therefore, they make all of their decisions in life and all of their habits revolving around buying back time, having more time, not wasting time. Morgan Scott Peek once said, "Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it."
You see, most people think their problem is productivity. Oh, I'm just a procrastinator or I'm just not working hard enough. And so what they'll do is they'll go out and they spend a lot of their time to make some money. And when you don't understand that time is a higher value asset than money, you're consciously giving away all of your time for a little bit of somebody's money. But quietly wealthy people know time is a limited resource. Money is a replenishable resource. Time is a limited resource. And so once you spend time, it's gone. You can't get it back. You can always get more money, but you can never get back time.
So if you really want to know what your time is worth, I want you to think about this. Let's say that you make $100,000 a year. That means your time is worth about $50 an hour right now. But if you waste an hour scrolling on Instagram, you didn't just lose that hour, you lost $50. And so if you do that every day for an entire year, that's $18,000 of time, a non-relenishable resource completely gone, wasted. That's a new car or an investment property deposit. So it's not a small amount. But if you learn how to multiply your value in the marketplace, your time becomes exponentially more valuable. So, you get your time back because you make more with the amount of time that you have. Comment down below if you've fallen into this trap of giving away all of your time for a little bit of money from someone. Time is the most valuable asset you have. So, start treating it that way. And so, I want you to actually start tracking where your time is going. Treat your time the way you would track money. Audit your calendar the same way you would track your spending every month. Notice how much of your time goes to distraction versus building your vision.
Habit number three, track the trend line. Tony Robbins once said, "No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow your progress, you are still way ahead of everyone else who isn't trying." And see, quietly wealthy people live by this. Because when you're building something meaningful in your life, like an online coaching business that literally transforms people's lives or a body that lets you run a marathon, it often feels like you're behind everyone. You're not doing enough. And like progress is way too slow for you. But it's really important to remember that it's not about your position. It's your trend line that matters more. And so if you only ever compare yourself to where you want to be or to other people, trust me, you will always feel behind. But if you zoom out and you look at the trend to see how far you've come over time, you start to feel really proud of yourself and it gives you back that sense of control. And even the smallest wins matter. In fact, every bit of progress releases dopamine in the brain that helps keep you motivated. And so the lesson here is to always track progress and wins and focus on the trend overall, not your position in the current moment.
We have all heard the phrase pay yourself first, right? And so it essentially means that whenever money comes in, you should immediately put some of it aside for investments before buying stuff that you want or paying your bills. But here's a deeper version of that habit that most people completely overlook, and it goes way beyond the basic rules of personal finance. You need to pay yourself first, not just with money, but with every choice that you make today that your future self will thank you for. So, what does that mean? That means saying no to adding another Netflix episode and saying yes to getting proper sleep. It means doing the one thing on your to-do list that's not the easiest, but the one thing that will actually move you closer to your goals. It means prioritizing long-term lasting learning over short-term distractions. Because paying yourself first isn't just about being smarter with your finances. It is the ultimate sign of true self-respect.
Habit number five, the failure resume. In Silicon Valley, the tech startups there started something called the fail fast principle, which basically encourages people and businesses to experiment quickly and collect feedback and to iterate just like in a science experiment. And quietly wealthy people treat failure exactly like this. It's data. In fact, they keep track of their failures, which is something that most people would never even think to do. Because think about this, we're taught that failure is bad, scary, shameful, and so we let failure bring us down and knock out our spirit. But failure is actually an essential ingredient for the process. Just think about it. No one wins a successful business just because they decided to start yesterday and became an instant millionaire. They put their first thing out and it was a hit overnight. This is completely unheard of. In fact, I would never have made my first million in my early 30s if I hadn't been willing to fail a lot over and over again in my 20s. And there's three really good reasons why this is a good thing. Number one, failure is a root. It tells you where you shouldn't be going with your time and energy so you can start heading in the right direction. Number two, failure is a learning experience and it's an opportunity to grow and be better. And number three, failure builds your mental and emotional resilience. Remember that failure doesn't result in death. And no matter how difficult it might be, it simply means you just get another chance to try again. The difference between those who succeed and those who don't is their tolerance for failure. How someone responds to setback is literally everything. And so you need to start collecting your failures like data and using that data to guide you closer to your goals.
Habit number six, stop flexing. If you want to be wealthy, you don't need external validation. According to Experian Automotive, over 61% of Americans earning $250,000 or more don't drive luxury cars. What are they driving? They drive Hondas, Toyotas, Fords. Because the truth is, quietly wealthy people blend in and they don't need to prove it to anyone else around them. In fact, in most of the middle class that are stuck in the rat race, they're completely obsessed with looking rich and spending all of their money on status symbols. They want the flashy car, the designer handbags, and all of the latest tech. Instead of actually buying status symbols, invest in high-income skills. Like create an offer. Learn how to create high-income offers. And once you have that skill, then you can start buying things in life with offers instead of money. This is exactly what I did. I've used my offer to pay for my mortgage, family vacations, paying off six figures of debt. How did I do that? I created an offer selling something I already know how to do. And so if you don't have an offer, join me for Offer Week, a free 5-day challenge where I help you turn your skills, story, expertise into a client-attracting offer that actually sells. So go into the description box, grab the link to register for that today.
Now, habit number seven, chunk your goals. According to research, 92% of people never achieve their goals. This is a huge number. What about those 8% though, the people who actually reach success? Well, this story from Will Smith's childhood actually has some really great lessons. Back in 1980, Will and his brother Harry were asked to build a new wall in front of their dad's shop. And so, every single day after school, they would lay brick after brick, even in the scorching sun. And at times, Will and his brother thought they'd never finish this wall. And they kept going. And eventually after 18 months, that's a year and a half, the wall was finally finished. And so this story is a perfect reminder that big goals are only achieved through small consistent actions. And in the words of Will himself, you don't set out to build the wall. You say, "I'm going to lay this brick as perfectly as brick can be laid." You do that every single day. And soon you have a wall.
You see, most of the time we set these big ambitious goals like I want to retire by 40 and I want to build a business that makes me millions. And not only are these vague and wishy-washy, but they're way too overwhelming. And so you need something that's called chunking. Breaking a big goal down into smaller, manageable steps, just like Will and his brother did with the wall. And behavioral science even backs this up. A study shows that people were four times more likely to commit to a savings plan when it was framed as $5 a day instead of $150 a month. But guess what? Smaller goals feel more achievable and less daunting. So whether you're trying to save more money or retire early or build a business, always set yourself a series of smaller sub-goals to make it feel more doable. And when it feels more doable, you'll actually end up doing it.
Habit number eight, live on autopilot. Did you know that the average American adult makes about 35,000 decisions a day? And every choice, what to wear, what to eat, what to say, it's costing you energy. So, it's not surprising that eventually what happens is our brain starts to cut corners either by acting on impulse or simply doing nothing at all. That's why quietly wealthy people avoid all of this by automating everything they can. And I'm not just talking about their investments, but their calendars, their groceries, their bills, their savings, their investments, even their wardrobe. Steve Jobs famously wore the same outfit every single day because automation protects your mental bandwidth. It reduces that decision fatigue and it frees up space in the brain to think about what really matters.
And so this leads me on to habit number nine. Because when it comes to making decisions, knowing how to make the right ones is everything. And if you wait for certainty before making the decision, you'll end up waiting forever. But the real secret is knowing which decisions require speed and which require caution. And Jeff Bezos is a really great model that he uses at Amazon to make smart decisions. Jeff Bezos always asks himself, "Is this going to be a one-way door or a two-way door?" And what's the difference between the one-way and the way door? A two-way door or a type two decision is a reversible decision and it won't have huge knock-on effects, which means that you should make those decisions as quickly as you possibly can because you can always walk back through the door if the decision you originally made wasn't optimal. But on the other hand, a one-way door or a type one decision is pretty much irreversible and consequential, which means it must be made slowly, methodically, and with collaboration with other people.
So, here's the problem. Most people treat every decision like a one-way door when most decisions are two-way doors. Jeff Bezos says, "As an organization gets larger, there seems to be a tendency to use the heavyweight type of one decision-making process on most decisions, including many type two decisions. The end result of this is slowness, unthoughtful risk aversion, failure to experiment successfully, and consequently diminished invention." Take starting a business for example. I've seen so many of my clients literally waste months trying to find the perfect idea for their business. They analyze the markets forever, tweaking their offers, taking course after course, getting stuck in this consumption trap without moving forward. But starting a low-risk side hustle or launching a simple service business is a type two decision. You can pivot, you can change, you can walk things back, you can walk right back through that door if things aren't right. And so don't waste your time, energy, or money overanalyzing low-stakes choices because quietly wealthy people save all of this for the ones that actually move the needle.
Habit number 10, strategic boredom. Warren Buffett says his favorite holding period is forever. And so what this means is that he prefers to buy a stock and then wait rather than constantly buying and selling to chase those quick gains. Because true wealth building is slow and to be honest, often boring. But quietly wealthy people embrace that. They don't chase shiny objects. They resist the urge to check, tweak, optimize everything all of the time. And they let compounding do all of the heavy lifting and hard work in the background. And so strategic boredom is all about being okay with periods of so-called stillness, knowing that growth is all happening beneath the surface, even when you can't see it.
And finally, habit number 11, reinterpret discomfort. I know this might be uncomfortable to hear, but the most ancient part of your brain doesn't care about your goals. It cares about keeping you alive and keeping you comfortable. And we're biologically wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain and conserve as much energy as possible. And so, every time that you try to do something challenging, your brain literally fights back. It says things like, "This is too hard. You're not ready. Maybe tomorrow we'll feel like it." And so it's not a personal weakness or a character flaw. It's just your brain doing exactly what brains do. And so that's why you find yourself checking notifications, starting little random tasks and distractions, rearranging your desk instead of tackling that one thing that actually moves the needle for you today.
But the thing is, quietly wealthy people expect the resistance to be there and they do it anyway. And so I want you to think about a plane taking off. Planes burn two to three times more fuel in the takeoff phase compared to the cruising phase when they're up in the sky because it takes some serious energy to overcome the gravity when they're on the ground. But once it's in the air, it's smooth sailing. And so the reason I'm telling you this is because most people stay stuck in that takeoff mode. They burn all of their energy fighting discomfort and then they quit just before that momentum kicks in. But if you expect struggle and you stop resisting it, you reinterpret all that discomfort as a huge sign of growth. And you use it as fuel and motivation because success isn't supposed to feel easy. It's supposed to be worth it.
And if you're sitting there at the end of this video thinking, Valerie, I'm ambitious and I want to be successful, but I'm just not doing the things I know I should be doing. Then I have the perfect video for you to watch next. I break down exactly how I went from overcoming six figures of debt to building a multi-million dollar business in my early 30s. So, I'll leave that over here on the screen for you to click on next. I'll see you on my next one. Bye-bye.