Transcription
Pharaoh: Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer... Just kidding, it's only Yu-Gi-Oh!
Kaiba: I have to reach Pegasus' island! Fortunately, I can pilot a helicopter. Thank God for Microsoft Flight Simulator. Once I get there, I'll probably bump into Yugi. I'll never forget the way he beat me in a card game. I can remember it like it was just yesterday...
Pharaoh: Wait a moment! Did you to summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?
Kaiba: Yeah, so?
Pharaoh: That's against the rules, isn't it?
Kaiba: Screw the rules, I have green hair!
Kaiba: Huh... Well that was just weird. I should probably cut down on the drugs.
*Opening Theme* (♪ "Kawaita Sakebi Ga" ♫)
*Opening Theme* (♪ "Todoke Fly At Higher Gaaaammmmeeee" ♫)
Yugi: Look Bakura! Your millennium ring is acting really peculiar.
Bakura: Oh, that's just my gay-dar. My father had it installed in my Millennium Ring in order to protect me. Because I look so bloody effeminate!
Yugi: I wonder why it's pointing towards Pegasus' castle..
Bakura: Bugger if I know.
Pegasus: This tournament is simply fabulous! OOooh, let's celebrate by watching the Spice Girls movie!
Henchman: Oh, not again!
Bakura: I say, that reminds me of the time when I was transferred into your school.
Teacher: Kids, this is our new student, Bakura. Not only is he new here, he's also British. So feel free to bully him like crazy.
Bakura: Hello everyone! It's bloody nice to meet you.
Kid #1: What's wrong with his voice?
Kid #2: Is he a girl?
Kid #3: Go back to Russia.
Kid: #4: I wanna go home...
Bakura: You blokes are a bunch of wankers!
Joey: Checkmate! I sunk yer battleship!
Yugi: Joey, you redefine what it means to be a moron.
Bakura: I was watching you play card games with your mates, when my millennium ring started pointing toward your Millennium Puzzle. I can't imagine why.
Pharaoh: This Millennium Puzzle is simply fabulous!
Bakura: By the way, where are the others?
Yugi: Joey and Tristan are busy guarding Téa. For some reason ever since we got back from the Shadow Realm, she's been under the impression that she's a caterpillar.
Téa: Soon I'll be a beautiful butterfly. And then Yugi will love me.
Bakura: Oh my, a helicopter! I wonder who it is.
Tristan: I hope it's Santa Claus!
Yugi: Look, it's that guy I defeated in the first episode without even breaking a sweat! Hey, loser! How's it going?
Kaiba: I'm here to kick ass and play card games! And I'm all out of cards..
Yugi: Here's your deck, Kaiba. By the way, I've forgiven you for hospitalizing my grandpa. Can we be super special awesome friends now?
Kaiba: Like hell! I don't have time to waste with you Scoobies! No offense, Yugi. You're a great duelist and all, but your buddy over there couldn't duel his way out of a paper bag.
Joey: That does it! Nobody talks about my pal Tristan like that!
Kaiba: I don't like to be touched by people who don't have money.
Joey: *Nyeeeh~!*
Yugi: Joey. Are you okay?
Bakura: Check his pulse, Yugi!
Joey: It's time ta duel, ya big palooka!
Kaiba: This looks like the perfect opportunity to stroke my ego. Behold, the Briefcase of Death! This contains the prototypes for my revolutionary new Duel Disk system. So tell me, Wheeler. Are you ready to be completely emasculated in front of your friends?
Joey: I was born ready, Kaiba! Go Armored Lizard!
Yugi: I think Beyblade's gonna sue somebody.
Kaiba: Battle Ox! Axe Smash Attack!
Joey: You duel like a dairy farmer!
Kaiba: How appropriate! You duel like a cow.
Téa: Joey's sucking even worse than usual!
Bakura: Keep a stiff upper lip, Joey!
Joey: So here's this Giant Enemy Dragon!
Kaiba: Blue Eyes! Attack his weak point for massive damage! (Voice clip) *Ridge Racer!*
Kaiba: That costs you 599 US Life Points.
Joey: No! I lost..
Kaiba: Oh cry me a river, mutt! You dweebs don't know what you're up against. Pegasus is ruthless. Camp, yet ruthless. I've seen it with my own eyes. It was at a surprisingly popular card game tournament in America. Mokuba was supposed to be there with me, but since he'd been kidnapped for about the 50th time, that month his seat was empty. Pegasus was facing me Intercontinental Champion, Bandit Keith, who apparently likes to remind everybody that he's from America.
Bandit Keith: You can't beat me, because I'm an American!
Kaiba: See what I mean? It looked like Keith was about to win, but then suddenly Pegasus invited some kid from the audience to their table.
Bandit Keith: Hey, what are you doin'?! Asking for help's illegal! In America!
Pegasus: I don't need help. A child could beat you, Bandit Keith, and I'm going to prove it.
Child: Are you my mommy?
Kaiba: Pegasus gave the kids some instructions, and in just one turn, Bandit Keith had lost Who would have thought that a child could win a children's card game?
Bandit Keith: This can't be happening! In America!
Pegasus: I've turned this tournament into a total farce!
Audience: Hooray! (Hooray)
Yugi: And just what was that story supposed to prove?
Kaiba: It proves that I am obscenely rich. Smell you geeks later. I have a hyperactive brother to rescue.
Tristan: I didn't even get to tell him what I want for Christmas...
Pegasus: Ohohoo! I can sense you Kaiba-boy. And once you get here, I'm going to spice up your life.
*Wannabe - Spice Girls*
*Wannabe - Spice Girls*
♪ If you wanna be my lover [fading echo] ♫
Yugi: Oh my gosh, we're in trouble. What are we gonna do?
Pharaoh: I'm going to do my laundry! Could I have some change?