Transcription
How can we start to identify if the person that is interviewing us, or we're about to go on a date with, or we're dating, how do we start to identify if they're a narcissist, a psychopath, or someone who's got these crazy skills that might use them for bad intent?
This is going to be a little controversial, but I'll give you two big things, two big ones. And I'll give you a question that you can ask. You just ask this one question, and it's going to reveal most manipulators, narcissists, psychopaths, people.
Number one thing that you need to look for is if you've ever met somebody who has been happy their whole life, um, and they're, even by the time they're 19, 20 years old, you're going to see these little crow's feet kind of just almost permanently etched onto the face. Someone who's really skeptical or angry all the time will look like this. So you'll see this muscle right here start squeezing together. That's called the glabella, right here. And somebody who is really skeptical all of their life, you're going to see, like, if I asked you to make a skeptical facial expression, like someone's feeding you a bunch of BS, it squeezes your lower eyelids. Yeah. Right. So it makes our lower eyelids wrinkle. And I can, you can spot more suggestible people, higher degree of suggestibility, by just the smoothness of this lower eyelid. And you just, you can Google Charles Manson girls. You can Google cult members right now and Google images. You can scroll through and see 99% of them have this really smooth lower eyelid because they're not doing as much scrunching. Right. So they're not really doing that skepticism face. Yeah.
So the end part of this is our forehead acts like a social billboard. So we are very expressive, you know, with our eyebrows. When we're talking, we want to emphasize points. Somebody says, "Oh, I just, this big huge thing just happened to me and I want to celebrate some win with you." I'm going to raise my eyebrows to help celebrate the win with you. Or if I'm just saying hello to a stranger, you say, "Oh, hey, good morning," and you raise your eyebrows. That's how we communicate socially. People who don't really communicate socially and view the world as a, in a transactional way, you're not going to see much movement of those eyebrows up on the forehead. Granted, there's other reasons. They could have Botox and all that stuff, but you're going to see a lot less lines in their forehead, and you're going to see a lot less movement in the forehead.
And the second thing is just asking the question from any stressful point in their life. Maybe it was a breakup, a previous relationship, a, a job that they left. You want to look for these two things. Number one, you ask, "What was like the biggest thing you learned about yourself?" Like, ever? No. About that context. Yeah. That one question, "What was the biggest thing you learned about yourself?" Are they going to put all the blame off on somebody else? So, if I'm asking somebody in a job interview, they might say, "Well, I, I trusted that company too much. It's, nothing's their fault." Right? So, you'll always hear these answers where, "I learned that I shouldn't trust people," or "I learned that X," fill in the blank. It's always going to be somebody else's fault.
The second thing you want to look for, especially when it comes to these like career manipulating people, all of their friends, like they're really good friends, are all in another city. They're all in another state. They're all living somewhere else. They don't have local, a tight group of local friends that they're regularly hanging out with. Does that make sense? Mhm. It's always going to be off at a distance somewhere. So, those would be the biggest red flags that I would give to especially women, uh, going out. And of course, there's women manipulators, too. It's a lot more likely it's going to be a dude.
If I asked that question, I can think of one person right now in my head. I wouldn't say she's a psychopath. I would just say she is more of a martyr. Would, would that not question sort of skew the judgment a little bit? Like if, if I was to ask her, I, I would just say she would probably, well, blame the other person a little bit. So, I want to look for a cluster of all those things. I don't want to look for one indicator and say, "Oh, that tells me everything I need." That's what I think that is an amateur thing. If you hear people teaching you that.
One of the final ways to ask is, or the final things to look for. If I'm talking about something happy and amazing that just happened to me, does it show on the other person's face? Are they kind of sharing in that emotion? If I'm talking about, uh, my aunt just got sick, or a, a relative of mine just got this horrible medical diagnosis, does it show on their face? Do you see some kind of concern on their face? If you're not seeing any of that stuff echoed on the other person's face, you're, 'cause the, the friend that you're talking about, whoever that is, will show empathy. They'll show empathy.
So, do I see reflective empathy? Am I seeing communication being expressed by the eyebrows moving? Are they open to say, "I learned a lot about myself. I wasn't. I needed to develop myself better. I need to show up on time. I need to be more disciplined." Are they taking ownership? And finally, do they have local friends? Do they have friends that are around?