Transcription
Listen, you might have it all wrong. This is what a lot of women think makes a man obsessed. Texting less on purpose, playing games, acting like you don't care, posting a hot photo for him to see to catch his attention, or making him jealous. These things work short-term at best. This creates attention, not obsession. In today's video, I'm going to teach you how to make a man actually obsessed with you, like unbelievably obsessed with you.
Before we get into this video, I want to say a huge thank you to our sponsor, Astra. I'm always talking about self-love, confidence, going through a breakup. I myself am somebody that also finds myself needing reassurance. I'm a human being, you know. I'm not going to sit here and watch my own videos and take my own advice. Of course, there's going to be certain things in my life that I feel a little bit stressed about. Maybe I feel like I need some clarity on something, a certain friendship or a relationship or a situation with my job or travel, whatever it might be. Astra is the perfect app to help me get through all of these challenging things in my life. I am a huge fan of AI for therapy and the app Astra is absolutely incredible. I'm going to insert a clip on the screen so you can see what I mean. There are a range of different things on the app that you can do. Astra isn't about predicting your future or telling you what you want to hear. They actually give you insight, patterns, tendencies. It's kind of like their motto is the stars don't control you, but ignoring the signs does have consequences. You know what I mean? It helps me ask deeper questions about anything that I might be a little bit confused about in my life. My therapist moved to Singapore, which is so annoying. Love it for her. But what am I supposed to do? You know what I'm supposed to do? I just pop on to Astra. I love that I can be traveling. I can be anywhere in the world. And if I'm feeling stressed or anxious about anything, I simply just open up the app and I can ask it any question that I want. If you want awareness without excuses, check out Astra. Basically, when you get onto the Astra app, there are a ton of different features. There's an ask me anything feature, a daily horoscope, there's one for intimacy and seduction, which is really important. There's a style me feature, romantic compatibility. I am obsessed with looking up if I'm compatible with somebody. There's a tarot card interpreter, a birth chart guide, a manifestation coach, a travel guide, a life coach. It's such a reassuring, safe space. So, I highly, highly recommend going into this year with intention, being introspective, and asking the right questions. And what a perfect app to help you with this. Thank you so much to Astra for sponsoring today's video. And without further ado, let's get into the video.
Hi guys, it's Luma. Welcome to or welcome back to another episode. This video is going to be up on Spotify as well as an audio version. I upload things onto Spotify so that if you want to come back to certain videos and listen to them, you can. We're just two best friends right now chilling here together. And I have some things I want to talk to you about. Here's how to make him obsessed with you. I want to start off by saying this isn't one of those [ __ ] videos where I'm going to be like, "Let's manifest a text. Let's be witchy woo and use these dark psychology tricks to lure a man into your life." That's no. We're not doing that today. Okay? I'm going to be extremely realistic. I'm going to clock you and I'm going to give you what you need to hear as well as the tools for how to make a man absolutely obsessed with you. Ever since this clocked into my brain, I have never had a bad dating experience. People are people. People are complicated. They're going to do things to hurt your feelings. But because of my mindset and because of these things that I now know, I truly feel like it would take a magician, like a mastermind, to actually play me at this point. Listen, I'm not here to give you advice on how to shift into a completely different person that will then lure in this person and make them attracted to you. That's ridiculous. I don't condone that. I don't want that for you. Chances are you lure this person in by playing games or being super fun or mysterious or whatever and you're not actually being yourself. Like, where does that leave you? If you have to be a completely different person to attract this person that you like, then [ __ ] that. You don't actually want that person. You want somebody that wants you for you. You want them to be obsessed with you. Okay? We are complicated. We are not perfect. All of us, we have our little flaws. We have our quirks. Listen, I'm not here to teach you how to become a different person that attracts that person into wanting a relationship with you or wanting to be with you or be your friend, whatever it is. I don't like that. I'm not here to do that today. Even though my title says this is about making somebody obsessed with you, I want them to be obsessed with you for who you are. It's about having that person actually obsessed with all of my six personalities. They don't just want me because I'm being hot or playing games or putting out for them or whatever it is. That's No, honey. That's not what we're doing here. So, don't get it twisted.
Men get obsessed with women who are emotionally unpredictable in a healthy way. Let me elaborate. I don't mean you're toxic or you're chaotic. I mean, you're just not on call for them. You're not a cold girl, babe. You're soft and you're kind, but you take no [ __ ] and you're not glued to them. I love this lyric by Sabrina Carpenter where she says, "I can make a [ __ ] show look a whole lot like Forever and Ever." She's talking about how you don't have to lie to girls. We'll just lie to ourselves. That's something that we do. All of us do. And we need to stop it right now. I'm going to clock you right there. A man will show you how he feels about you truly with his actions. Men are so good at talking. They're so good at doing this. They're so good at barking. It's okay. They're not here. Men aren't watching this. This is a safe space. So, I'm going to say what I want on my channel. Okay? They are going to show you how much they value you through their actions. So, don't do that thing that Sabrina Carpenter is saying in her song where she says, "I can make a [ __ ] show look a whole lot like forever." Don't romanticize a [ __ ] show. He's literally giving you nothing and he's giving you the vibes that he's talking to other girls or whatever. Then, chances are, babe, he is doing all of those things. Chances are, he's not your dream man. Plain and simple. It's right in front of you. It's so easy. It's quick maths. In order to be emotionally unpredictable, you're not waiting there. You only react based on their actions. Okay? Men are so good at talking, but it's the actions that actually count. So instead of shapeshifting your reality and bending over backwards for them, you react based on their actions. If they want to take you out on a date, you go and you have a great time. If they don't want to text you the whole next day, you're not going to text them first. I know it might sound stupid or petty or like you're playing games, but this is the phase where they're supposed to be almost like courting you. They're supposed to like want you so much, you know, and really take that initiative. That's kind of like the nature of it. That's their role. That's really like what men enjoy doing in my experience at least and with my friends as well. He needs to feel like he's earning access to you. Not fighting for it, but earning access to you. And I kind of love this, but it makes them feel like, wait, where do I stand in her life? Like, what does she feel about me? Cuz you don't want to give them everything. You don't want to just give them everything all in one go. You want to be mysterious. Being mysterious is not just about hiding. It's about not oversharing everything too soon. You don't have to give them everything too soon. That's why I always say, don't sleep with a guy so soon. Why are you doing that? If you actually want him to like you and want him to want you back, then you don't just want to be an open book. First date, you're giving him everything or you're trauma dumping on date three. No, let him earn the privilege of getting to know you because it is a privilege. Give him chapters. Don't give him the whole book. I feel like men fall in love harder when they're getting to know you little by little. You know, you're giving them little breadcrumbs almost. You're mysterious. You're a black cat. You're letting them come to you. That is what they want to do ultimately. And remember this, there is a big difference between I like you, so I'm going to give you all of me right now. And I like you, but I value myself enough to pace this. I'm not in a rush. Being in a rush is not cute. Take your time with it, babe. Pace things. That feels luxury. It's like a luxury mindset that you can have. Being selective, not thirsty, not easily impressed. These things are just a win-win situation genuinely because let's say you start dating this guy, he's treating you amazing and then he turns around, he realizes he doesn't want to invest all this time into you. Maybe he's just a [ __ ] boy and he literally just wants to sleep with you and doesn't really want anything else. Listen, it's a win-win situation if you respect yourself because chances are you didn't really give him all of yourself and you really have nothing to lose. If anything, you just wasted a little bit of time there. You know what I'm saying? But I feel like girls have more to lose and they get more upset when they invest everything so quickly into a man and they sleep with you and then don't talk to you the next day or, you know, don't find interest in you and whatever. It's just like that hurts. That's literally a humiliation ritual. Let's stop doing that. Why are we doing that?
Men crave women who don't need them to feel whole. I truly feel like a man that goes for a broken woman or, you know, wants to control their girlfriend, control what you wear, and just every little thing, I feel like that comes from a place of insecurity. That's not what we want in a man. That's unattractive. That's ugly. We want a man that has his [ __ ] together. A real man. Do you know what I'm saying? That's what's hot. That's what we want. That's what I want. At least if you want that, too, then I'm going to tell you, men crave a woman that is already impressed by herself. So, it's like having a man that you know is chivalous and does nice things for you. That's just a bonus. But it's something that you can live without because you have your [ __ ] together and you can do everything on your own. Like, you have your own world and your life does not revolve around him. That is so attractive to a man. This is the part that girls underestimate the most. It's all in your self-care, your routine, how much you hang out with your friends. Listen, it's almost like a subconscious thing. Men don't realize that they feel this way, but I'm telling you, they do feel this way. If you spend 24/7 hanging out with him, you know, cuddling with him, being with him all the time, cooking for him, cleaning for him. Of course, he's going to accept that and love that. Who wouldn't? That's literally like you're doing charity. You are Make a Wish Foundation. You are doing charity for the wrong charity here cuz we love charity. Don't get me twisted. But like this is not the right charity. You know what I mean? You're not being charitable for a good cause here. If you're doing all of that and if you're doing too much, you're cooking, you're cleaning, you're doing the most, you're being there for him, you're changing and shifting into this version of yourself that is perfect for him and you're just making his life better in every way. If you're doing that, of course, he's going to enjoy that and accept that. But that doesn't make somebody obsessed with you. That is comfortable. That is easy. That feels nice. But it's not something that makes them obsessed with you. It doesn't give them that feeling of like, "Oh my god, she's chosen me. I am the chosen one. I've earned this. This is such a valuable woman because I've earned her time and I'm so lucky." That doesn't come with you doing the most for this man. Do you know what I'm saying? Men get obsessed when they feel like they're a part of your world, but not your whole world. I also feel like really high value men really love and almost worship a woman that has passion for life. You know, like she's passionate about whatever it is. Like if you're a florist and you love, you know, what you do and you love making beautiful flowers and taking content for your business and what I don't care whatever it is, like you just need to be passionate. You could literally be doing anything. I don't care if you work at the zoo, if you're a zookeeper. Like, I just want you to be passionate. Be so passionate. This is your life and you have so much to be excited about and so many things that you're so good at. We are all so good at so many different things. There are so many people for us to meet and friends to make and places to travel. And there's so much more in this life than you having a crush or you being in love or being in a relationship. And maybe this is controversial and maybe some people don't agree with this, but I truly believe that that's what makes a man obsessed with you. Like I said before, when he is a part of your world, but not your whole entire universe, your very existence. You know what I mean? Having a man's validation is nice, but I want his validation to be a bonus, not your entire existence. From now on, you are forever going to be that girl that has high standards. You're going to be remembered as that girl that has high standards, that values herself, and that doesn't take [ __ ] from anybody.
Okay, I'm comfy. I'm cozy. I ordered some room service. Taking these off again because of the glare. But anyway, before we end off today's video, I wanted to kind of talk about some real life scenarios when it comes to this topic, okay? What I want you to do versus what's clowny to do. So, here's an example. Let's say you're really attracted to this guy and you're talking to him. He comes up to you. He's like, "Wow, you're really beautiful. How do you move about this?" You tell him then and there. Well, I'd love to catch up. You know, you tell him then and there that you love going out on dates. Tell people what you want. Like, this is the year for that. Tell a man, you know what? I love going out on bougie dates. And if you like that, too, then you just might be lucky enough to get to take me out on a date. Just have that energy. And if they laugh at you and they're like, "What? No." Then it's like, okay, flick them off because that's not who you want anyway. Do you really want to date some bum? Do you want to go to like McDonald's for a date? Like, I don't know. It's up to you if that's what you want. No shade, no tea. But if you want to be taken serious, you want to be treated well, tell a man exactly how you want them to treat you. You know what I'm saying? This is so funny. But my friend had plans with a guy and they were supposed to go out on a date. He was going to come and pick her up and he's not even that far away. Like, he didn't have to drive that far to pick her up. This is just the other day as well. And so, I'm using this as an example. I'm sure she wouldn't mind. I think it's so hilarious and I love the way that she responded to this. But basically, the guy was just being a little bit annoying. He was texting her and he was like, you know, do you want to hang out today? You know, like what would you rather? Like kind of giving the energy of, yeah, we can hang out if you want. You know what I mean? Like it just wasn't it was not cute. But anyway, she says, you know, we could do tonight if that works better instead of tomorrow night. Anyway, sends the address and he replies. He's like, what a drag. It's far. I'm sorry. What? And so the clowny thing to do here would be to continue entertaining this conversation. The moment he said that, my friend unfollowed him, removed him, and was like, "It's a no for me. It is not Make a Wish Foundation. It's an absolute no for me. I'm not doing that. I'm not dealing with it. I'm not [ __ ] with it." In certain situations, when somebody shows you exactly who they are, believe it, honey. Like I said, actions speak louder than words. And his actions were just proving that he didn't really care that much. And so why waste your energy? Why invest your time and energy into somebody like that? They don't want to invest their time and energy into you. Why are you going to waste your time and energy investing into them? It's just a question. Do you have an answer for me?
Another thing I want to say is listen, I know that we love going out on dates. We love hanging out with a guy that we have a crush on. It feels amazing. I don't want you to cancel your plans and to just like forget about your life and the things that excite you and your hobbies and your best friends. That is so ugly. That is ugly. That's not attractive. That's not an attractive trait. Okay? And I hate that girls do this. And I hate that I've ever done this in the past. It's just not cute. So, what I want you to do is even if you are completely free, I want you to sometimes make out as if you're super busy. [ __ ] find a hobby. Find something to do. If you like ice skating, go ice skating. If you like going to the gym, go to the gym. Paint. Whatever it is. I don't want you to just drop everything like that and say to this guy, "Yes, let's hang out. I'm free tonight." Especially not if it's in the beginning stages and you're hanging out with him super late. Girl. Your man shouldn't be more important than like your best friends. Your girls, you know what I'm saying? Like your girls are equally as important and so make time for them. I find it really annoying honestly when I have a friend that is just like constantly hanging out with her boyfriend only and she wants to ask me if I'm free when her boyfriend's not free so it's convenient and she has a little gap in her schedule. Her schedule of doing Make a Wish and literally just doing everything her boyfriend wants to do. That is just not cute. So that is one thing that I cannot stress enough. I really want you to hang out with your friends, to do things by yourself. It feels so good to cancel on a man, even if you like him, just because you don't want to make him the center of your universe. Listen, you can have plans with him that he can look forward to, that you can both look forward to. Let's go on a date on Thursday night. We're going to this fancy restaurant. We're going to dress up nice. I'm so excited. You know what I mean? Instead of like, yes, let's hang out. Like, no. No. You are the star of your own movie. Okay? You have hobbies. You have friends. You have a life. You have a show that you want to watch. You have things that you want to do. You have a book that you're reading. You're multifaceted. You're that girl. You know what I'm saying?
Anyway, I love you guys. I hope that you liked today's episode and I'm so excited to keep filming. I'm so excited for more of these episodes up on Spotify here on YouTube. I'm going to be uploading a lot, okay? I'm going to be uploading regularly. I love love love filming these videos so much for you. So, yeah. I hope that you liked today's advice. Thank you so much for being here and I will see you very soon.