Transcription
[Music] [Music] Yeah, no, no, thank you though, Mr. H. What can I bring for you on this glorious afternoon?
Well, Hector, here's the game plan. You're going to bring us two absolute martinis. You know how I like them. Straight up. And then precisely 7 and 1/2 minutes after that, you're going to bring us two more. Then two more after that. Every five minutes until one of us passes out.
Excellent strategy, sir. I'm I'm good with water for now, though. Thank you. It's his first day on Wall Street. Give him time. Thank you. Mhm. Thank you, Mr. Hannah.
You're able to do drugs during the day and and still function, still do your job. How the else would you do this job? Cocaine and hookers, my friend. Right. I got to say, I'm incredibly excited to be a part of your firm. I mean, the clients you have are absolutely the clients. Your only responsibility is to put meat on the table. You got a girlfriend? I'm I'm married. I have a wife. Her name is Teresa. She cuts hair. Congratulations. Thank you.
Think about Teresa. Name of the game. Move the money from your client's pocket into your pocket. Right. But if you can make a client's money at the same time, it's advantageous to everyone. Correct? No.
Number one rule of Wall Street. Nobody. I don't care if you're Warren Buffett or if you're Jimmy Buffett. Nobody knows if the stock is going to go up, down, sideways, or in circles. At least of all stock brokers. It's all a fugazi. You know what a fugazi is? Fugazi. It's a fake. Yeah. Fugazi. Fugazi. It's a wazi. It's a woozy. It's a fairy dust. It doesn't exist. It's never landed. It is no matter. It's not on the elemental chart. It It's not real. Right. All right. Right. Stay with me.
We don't create. We don't build anything. No. So, if you got a client who bought stock at 8 and it now sits at 16 and he's all happy, he wants to cash in, liquidate, take his money and run home, you don't let him do that, okay? Because that would make it real, right? No. What do you do? You get another brilliant idea, a special idea, another situation, another stock to reinvest his earnings and then some. and he will every single time cuz they're addicted. And then you just keep doing this again and again and again. Meanwhile, he thinks he's getting rich, which he is on paper. But you and me, the brokers, we're taking home cold hard cash via commission, Right.
That's incredible, sir. Can't tell you how excited I am. You should be. There's two keys to success in the broker business. First of all, you got to stay relaxed. Yeah. You jerk off. Do I do I jerk off? Yeah. Yeah, I jerk off. Yeah. How many times a week? Like um three three four three four times maybe. I pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers in this racket. Find myself I jerk off at least twice a day. Wow. Once in the morning, right after I work out, and then once right after lunch. Really? Okay. I want to. That's not why I do it. I do it because I need to think about it. You're dealing with numbers all day long. Decimal points, high frequencies, bang, bang, bang, digits, all very acidic, above the shoulders, mustard right? Kind of going to wake some people out. Right. You got to feed the geese to keep the blood flowing. I keep the rhythm below the belt. Done. This is not a tip. This is a prescription. Trust me. If you don't, you will fall out of balance. Split your differential and tip the over. Or worse yet, I've seen this happen. Implode. No. I don't want to implode, sir. No. No. No. I'm in it for the long run, you know. Yeah. Implosions are ugly. Yeah. Pop off to the bathroom. Work one out anytime you can. And when you get really good at it, you'll be stroking it. You'll be thinking about money.
The second key to success in this racket is this little baby right here. It's called cocaine, right? It will keep you sharp between the ears. It'll also help your fingers dial faster. And guess what? That's good for me. Yes, sir. Revolutions. You follow? Revolutions. Keep the clients on the ferris wheel. And it goes, the park is open 24/7, 365 every decade, every goddamn century. That's it. Name of the game. How kitty? Thank you.
[Music] Come on. [Music] with a common denominator. [Music] Keep it up for me. C. And the money comes in, the parade comes to town. Going down Broadway is a one-way street. Whichever way I go.