Transcription
The Celestine Prophecy Chapter 6 of 9 read by John Devon at John Devon on social media and Tiffany at spotonspirit. The title of this chapter is Clearing the Past. Enjoy.
Ahead the road narrowed and bent sharply around the sheer rock face of the mountain. The truck bounced over several large rocks and slowly proceeded through the curve. Below the Andes rose in massive gray ridges above banks of snow-white clouds. I looked at Sanchez. He was leaning over the steering wheel, tense. For most of the day we had been scaling steep inclines and edging through passages made more narrow by fallen rock. I had wanted to broach the subject of control dramas again, but the time seemed inappropriate. Sanchez appeared to need every ounce of energy for driving, and besides, I wasn't clear on what I wanted to ask. I had read the rest of the Fifth Insight and it had echoed exactly the points Sanchez had related to me. The idea of getting rid of my style of controlling seemed desirable, especially if it would make my evolution accelerate, but I still couldn't grasp how a control drama operated.
"What are you thinking about?" Sanchez asked.
"I finished reading the Fifth Insight," I said, "and I was thinking about these dramas. Considering what you said about me, I assume you think my drama has something to do with being aloof." He didn't reply. He was staring up at the road 100 ft ahead. A large four-wheel drive vehicle blocked the way. A man and a woman stood on a rock precipice 50 ft from the vehicle. They returned our gaze. Sanchez stopped the truck and looked them over for an instant, then smiled. "I know the woman," he said. "That's Julia. It's all right. Let's talk with them."
Both the man and woman were of dark complexion and appeared Peruvian. The woman was older, appearing to be about 50, while the man looked approximately 30. As we got out of the truck, the woman walked toward us. "Father Sanchez." She said as she approached. "How are you, Julia?" Sanchez replied. The two embraced, then Sanchez introduced me to Julia. Julia in turn introduced her companion, Rolando. Saying nothing else, Julia and Sanchez turned their backs on us and walked toward the overhang where Julia and Rolando had previously been standing. Rolando looked at me intensely and I instinctively turned and walked in the direction of the other two people. Rolando followed, still looking at me as though he wanted something. Although his hair and features were young, his complexion was ruddy and red. For some reason I felt anxious. Several times as we walked to the edge of the mountain, he looked as though he was going to speak, but each time I turned my eyes away and increased my pace, he remained silent. When we reached the precipice, I sat on a ledge to prevent him from sitting next to me. Julia and Sanchez were above me about 25 ft sitting together on a large boulder. Rolando sat as close to me as possible. Although his constant stare bothered me, I was slightly curious about him at the same time. He caught me looking at him and asked, "Are you here for the manuscript?" I took a long time to answer. "I've heard of it." He looked perplexed. "Have you seen it?" "Some," I said. "Do you have something to do with it?" "I am interested," he said. "But I have not seen any copies yet." A period of silence followed. "Are you from the United States?" he asked. The question disturbed me, so I decided not to answer. Instead I asked, "Does the manuscript have anything to do with the ruins at Machu Picchu?" "I don't think so," he replied, "except that it was written about the same time they were built." I remained silent, looking out at the incredible view of the Andes. Sooner or later, if I remained quiet, he would divulge what he and Julia were doing here and how it concerned the manuscript. We sat for 20 minutes with no conversation. Finally, Rolando stood and walked up to where the others were talking. I was perplexed as to what to do. I had avoided sitting with Sanchez and Julia because I had the distinct impression they wanted to talk alone for perhaps another 30 minutes. I remained there, gazing out at the rocky peaks and straining to overhear the conversation above me. None of them paid me the slightest bit of attention. Finally, I decided to join them. But before I could move, the three of them stood and began walking toward Julia's vehicle. I cut across the rocks toward them. "They have to go," Sanchez remarked as I approached. "I'm sorry we did not have time to talk." Julia said. "I hope we see you again." She was looking at me with the same warmth Sanchez often displayed. As I nodded, she cocked her head slightly and added, "In fact, I have a feeling we will see you soon." As we strolled down the rocky path, I felt the need to say something in response, but I couldn't think. When we reached her vehicle, Julia only nodded slightly and said a quick goodbye. Both she and Rolando got in and Julia drove away toward the north, the way Sanchez and I had come. I felt puzzled by the entire experience.
Once we were in our vehicle, Sanchez asked, "Did Rolando fill you in on Will?" "No," I said. "Had they seen him?" Sanchez looked confused. "Yes, they saw him at a village 40 miles east of here." "Did Will say anything about me?" "Julia said Will mentioned being separated from you. She said Will talked mainly with Rolando. Didn't you tell Rolando who you were?" "No, I didn't know if I could trust him." Sanchez looked at me in total bewilderment. "I told you it was fine to talk with them. I have known Julia for years. She owns a business in Lima. But since the discovery of the manuscript, she has been looking for the Ninth Insight. Julia would not be traveling with anyone untrustworthy. There was no danger. Now you missed what could have been important information." Sanchez looked at me with a serious expression. "This is a perfect example of how a control drama interferes," he said. "You were so aloof, you didn't allow an important coincidence to take place." I must have appeared defensive. "It's all right," he said. "Everyone plays a drama of one kind or another. At least now you understand how yours works." "I I understand," I said, "What exactly am I doing?" "Your way of controlling people and situations," he explained, "in order to get energy coming your way is to create this drama in your mind during which you withdraw and look mysterious and secretive. You tell yourself that you're being cautious, but what you're really doing is hoping someone will be pulled into this drama and will try to figure out what's going on with you. When someone does, you remain vague, forcing them to struggle and dig and try to discern your true feelings. And when they do so, they give you their full attention and that sends their energy to you. The longer you can keep them interested and mystified, the more energy you receive. Unfortunately, when you play aloof, your life tends to evolve very slowly because you're repeating this same scene over and over again. If you had opened up to Rolando, your life movie would have taken off in a new and meaningful direction." I felt myself becoming depressed. All this was just another example of what Will had pointed out when he saw me resisting giving information to renew. It was true. I did tend to hide what I really thought. I looked out at the window as we followed the road higher into the peaks. Sanchez concentrated again on avoiding the fatal drop-offs. When the road straightened, he looked over at me and said, "The first step in the process of getting clear for each of us is to bring our particular control drama into full consciousness. Nothing can proceed until we really look at ourselves and discover what we are doing to manipulate for energy. This is what has just happened to you." "What is the next step?" I asked. "Each of us must go back into our past, back into our early family life and see how this habit was formed. Seeing its inception keeps our way of controlling in consciousness. Remember, most of our family members were operating in a drama themselves trying to pull energy out of us as children. This is why we had to form a control drama in the first place. We had to have a strategy to win energy back. It is always in relation to our family members that we develop our particular dramas. However, once we recognize the energy dynamics in our families, we can go past these control strategies and see what was really happening." "What do you mean, really happening?" "Each person must reinterpret his family experience from an evolutionary point of view, from a spiritual point of view, and discover who he really is. Once we do that, our control drama falls away and our real lives take off." "So, how do I begin?" "By first understanding how your drama was formed. Tell me about your father." "He is a good man who is fun-loving and capable, but..." I hesitated, not wanting to sound ungrateful toward my father. "But what?" Sanchez asked. "Well," I said, "he was always critical. I could never do anything right." "How did he criticize you?" Sanchez asked. A picture of my father, young and strong, appeared in my mind. He asked questions then found something wrong with the answers. "And what happened to your energy?" "I guess I felt so drained, so I tried to keep from telling him anything." "You mean you got vague and distant. Trying to say things in a way that would get his attention, but not reveal enough to give him something to criticize. He was the interrogator and you dodged around him with your aloofness." "Yeah, I guess, but what is an interrogator?" "An interrogator is another kind of drama. People who use this means of gaining energy set up a drama of asking questions and probing into another person's world with the specific purpose of finding something wrong. Once they do, then they criticize this aspect of the other's life. If this strategy succeeds, then the person being criticized is pulled into the drama. They suddenly find themselves becoming self-conscious around the interrogator and paying attention to what the interrogator is doing and thinking about so as not to do something wrong that the interrogator would notice. This psychic difference gives the interrogator the energy he desires. Think about the times you have been around someone like this. When you get caught up in this drama, don't you tend to act a certain way so that the person won't criticize you? He pulls you off your own path and drains your energy because you judge yourself by what he might be thinking." I remembered the feeling exactly and the person that came to mind was Jensen. "So, my father was an interrogator?" I asked. "That's what it sounds like." For a moment, I was lost and thought about my mother's drama. "If my father was an interrogator, what was my mother?" Sanchez asked me what I was thinking. "I was wondering about my mother's control drama," I said. "How many different kinds are there?" "Let me explain the classifications spoken of in the manuscript," Sanchez said. "Everyone manipulates for energy either aggressively, directly forcing people to pay attention to them, or passively, playing on people's sympathy or curiosity to gain attention. For instance, if someone threatens you either verbally or physically, then you are forced for fear of something bad happening to you to pay attention to him and so to give him energy. The person threatening you would be pulling you into the most aggressive kind of drama, what the Sixth Insight calls the intimidator. If, on the other hand, someone tells you all the horrible things that are already happening to them, implying perhaps that you are responsible and that if you refuse to help, these horrible things are going to continue, then this person is seeking to control at the most passive level with what the manuscript calls a poor me drama. Think about this one for a moment. Haven't you ever been around someone who makes you feel guilty when you're in their presence, even though you know there is no reason to feel this way?" "Yes." "Well, it's because you have entered the drama world of poor me. Everything they say and do puts you in a place where you have to defend against the idea that you're not doing enough for this person. That's why you feel guilty just being around them." I nodded. "Anyone's drama can be examined," he continued. "According to where it falls on this spectrum from aggressive to passive. If a person is subtle in their aggression, finding fault and slowly undermining your world in order to get your energy, then, as we saw in your father, this person would be an interrogator. Less passive than the poor me would be your aloofness drama. So, the order of dramas goes this way. Intimidator. Interrogator. Aloof. And poor me. Does that make sense?" "I guess." "You think everyone falls somewhere among these styles?" "That's correct. Some people use more than one in different circumstances. But, most of us have one dominant control drama that we tend to repeat depending on which one worked well on the members of our early family." It suddenly dawned on me my mother did exactly the same thing to me as my father. I looked at Sanchez. "My mother, I know what she was. She was also an interrogator." "So, you had a double dose," Sanchez said. "No wonder you're so aloof. But, at least they weren't intimidating you. At least you never feared for your safety." "What would have happened in that case?" "You would have become stuck in a poor me drama. Do you see how this works? If you are a child and someone is draining your energy by threatening you with bodily harm, then being aloof doesn't work. You can't get them to give you energy by playing coy. They don't give a damn what's going on inside you. They're coming on too strong. So, you're forced to become more passive and to try the poor me approach, appealing to the mercy of the person, guilt-tripping them about the harm they are doing. If this doesn't work, then as a child you endure until you are big enough to explode against the violence and fight aggression with aggression." He paused. "Like the child you told me about, the one in the Peruvian family that served you dinner. A person goes to whatever extreme necessary to get attention energy in their family. And after that, this strategy becomes their dominant way of controlling to get energy from everyone. The drama they constantly repeat." "I understand the intimidator," I said. "But, how does the interrogator develop?" "What would you do if you were a child and your family members were either not there or ignored you because they were preoccupied with their careers or something?" "I don't know." "Playing aloof would not get their attention. They wouldn't notice. Wouldn't you have to resort to probing and prying and finally finding something wrong in these aloof people in order to force attention and energy? This is what an interrogator does." I began to get the insight. "Aloof people create interrogators." "That's right. And interrogators make people aloof. And intimidators create the poor me approach. Or if this fails, another intimidator." "Exactly. That's how control dramas perpetuate themselves. But, remember there is a tendency to see these dramas in others, but to think that we ourselves are free from such devices. Each of us must transcend this illusion before we can go on. Almost all of us tend to be stuck at least some of the time in a drama and we have to step back and look at ourselves long enough to discover what it is." I was silent for a moment. Finally, I looked at Sanchez again and asked, "Once we see our drama, what happens next?" Sanchez slowed the truck in order to look me in the eyes. "We are truly free to become more than the unconscious act we play. As I said before, we can find a higher meaning for our lives, a spiritual reason we were born to our particular families. We can begin to get clear about who we really are."
"We're almost there," Sanchez said. The road was cresting between two peaks. As we passed the huge formation on our right, I saw a small house ahead. It backed up to another majestic pinnacle of rock. "His truck isn't here," Sanchez said. We parked and walked to the house. Sanchez opened the door and walked inside while I waited. I took in several breaths. [snorts] [sighs] The air was cool and very thin. Overhead, the sky was dark gray and thick with clouds. It looked as though it might rain. Sanchez walked back to the door. "No one is inside. He must be at the ruins. How do we get there?" He suddenly looked exhausted. "They're up ahead, about a half mile," he said, handing me the keys to the truck. "Follow the road past the next ridge and you'll see them down below. Take the truck. I want to stay here and meditate." "Okay, I will," I said, walking around to get in the vehicle. I drove forward into a little valley and then up the next ridge, anticipating the view. The site did not disappoint me. As I crested the ridge, I saw the full splendor of the ruins at Machu Picchu, a temple complex of massive, carefully shaped rocks weighing tons sitting atop each other on the mountain. Even in the dull, cloudy light, the beauty of the place was overwhelming. I stopped the truck and soaked up the energy for 10 or 15 minutes. Several groups of people were walking through the ruins. I saw a man wearing a priest's collar leave the remains of a building and walk toward a vehicle parked nearby. Because of the distance and because the man wore a leather jacket rather than a priest's robe, I couldn't be sure it was Father Carl. I started the truck and drove closer. As soon as he heard the sound, he looked up and smiled, apparently recognizing the vehicle as belonging to Sanchez. When he saw me inside, he looked interested and walked over. His build was short and squat with dull brown hair and pudgy features with deep blue eyes. He looked to be about 30. "I'm with Father Sanchez," I said, stepping from the vehicle and introducing myself. "He's up at your house." He offered his hand. "I'm Father Carl." I glanced past him to the ruins. The cut stone was even more impressive when in close proximity. "Is this the first time you've been here?" he asked. "Yes, it is," I replied. "I've heard about this place for years, but I never anticipated this." "It is one of the highest energy centers in the world," he said. I looked closely at him. Clearly, he spoke about energy in the same sense it was used in the manuscript. I nodded affirmatively, then said, "I'm at a point where I'm consciously trying to build energy and deal with my control drama." I felt somewhat pretentious at saying that, but comfortable enough to be honest. "You don't seem too aloof," he said. I was startled. "How did you know that was my drama?" I asked. "I've developed an instinct for it. That's why I'm here. You help people see their way of controlling?" "Yes, and their true self." His eyes shone with sincerity. He was totally direct, with no hint of embarrassment at revealing himself to a stranger. I remained silent, so he said, "You understand the first five insights?" "I've read most of them," I said, "and I've talked with several people." As soon as I made this statement, I realized I was being too vague. "I think I understand the first five," I added. "It's number six that I'm not clear about." He nodded, then said, "Most of the people I talk with haven't even heard of the manuscript. They come up here and are entranced by the energy. That alone makes them rethink their lives." "How do you meet these people?" He looked at me with a knowing expression. "They seem to find me." "You said you help them find their true self? How?" He took a long breath. [snorts] [sighs] Then said, "There's only one way. Each of us has to go back to our family experience, that childhood time and place, and review what happened. Once we become conscious of our control drama, then we can focus on the higher truth of our family. The silver lining, so to speak, that lies beyond the energy conflict. Once we find this truth, it can energize our lives, for this truth tells us who we are, the path we are on, what we are doing." "That's what Sanchez has told me," I said. "I want to know more about how to find this truth." He zipped up his coat against the late afternoon chill. "I hope we can talk more about it later," he said. "Right now, I would like to greet Father Sanchez." I looked out at the ruins, and he added, "Feel free to look around as long as you would like. I'll see you back at my house later."
For the next hour and a half, I walked through the ancient site. At certain spots, I would linger, feeling more buoyant than at others. I wondered with fascination about the civilization that had built these temples. How did they move these stones up here and place them atop one another in this fashion? It seemed impossible. As my intense interest in the ruins began to wane, my thoughts turned to my personal situation. Although my circumstances had not changed, I felt less fearful now. Sanchez's confidence had reassured me. I had been stupid to doubt him, and I already liked Father Carl. As darkness descended, I walked back to the truck and returned to Father Carl's house. As I drove up, I could see the two men standing close to each other inside. When I entered, I heard laughter. Both were busy in the kitchen preparing dinner. Father Carl greeted me and escorted me to a chair. I sat down lazily in front of a large fire in the fireplace and looked around. The room was large and paneled with wide boards, which were lightly stained. I could see two other rooms, bedrooms apparently, linked by a narrow hallway. The house was lit with low wattage bulbs, and I thought I could detect the faint hum of a generator. When the preparations were completed, I was summoned to a rough plank table. Sanchez offered a brief prayer, and then we ate, the two men continuing to talk. Afterward, we sat together by the fire. "Father Carl has spoken with Will," Sanchez said. "When?" I asked, immediately excited. "Will came through here several days ago," Father Carl said. "I had met him a year ago, and he came by to bring me some information. He said he thought he knew who was behind the governmental action against the manuscript." "Who?" I asked. "Cardinal Sebastian," Sanchez interjected. "What is he doing?" I asked. "Apparently," Sanchez said, "he is using his influence with the government to increase the military pressure against the manuscript. He has always preferred to work quietly through the government rather than force a division within the church. Now he is intensifying his efforts. Unfortunately, it may be working. What do you mean?" I asked. "Except for the few priests of the Northern Council and a few others like Julia and Will, no one else seems to have copies any longer." "What about the scientists at the Quinte?" I asked. Both men were silent for a moment, then Father Carl said, "Will told me the government has closed it down. All the scientists were arrested, and their research data was confiscated." "Will the scientific community stand for that?" I asked. "What choice do they have?" Sanchez said. "Besides, that research wasn't accepted by most scientists anyway. The government is apparently selling the idea that these people were breaking the law." "I can't believe the government could get away with doing that." "Apparently, they have," Father Carl said. "I made some calls to check, and I received the same story. Though they're keeping it very quiet, the government is intensifying its crackdown." "What do you think will happen?" I asked them both. Father Carl shrugged his shoulders, and Father Sanchez said, "I don't know. It may depend on what Will finds." "Why?" I asked. "He appears to be close to finding the missing part of the manuscript, the Ninth Insight. Perhaps when he does, there will be enough interest to create worldwide intervention here." "Where did he say he was going?" I asked Father Carl. "He didn't know exactly, but he said his intuitions were leading him further north, near Guatemala." "His intuitions were leading him?" "Yes, you'll understand that after you get clear about who you are and go on to the Seventh Insight." I looked at both of them, at how incredibly serene they appeared. "How can you remain so calm?" I asked. "What if they came crashing in here and arrest all of us?" They gazed at me patiently. Then Father Sanchez spoke. "Don't confuse calmness with carelessness. Our peaceful countenance is a measure of how well we are connected with the energy. We stay connected because it is the best thing for us to do regardless of the circumstances. You understand that, don't you?" "Yes," I said. "Of course. I guess I'm having trouble staying connected myself." Both men smiled. "Staying connected," Father Carl said, "will be easier once you get clear on who you are." Father Sanchez stood up then and walked away, announcing that he would be doing the dishes. I looked at Father Carl. "Okay," I said. "How do I start getting clear about myself?" "Father Sanchez tells me," he replied, "that you already understand the controlled dramas of your parents." "That's right. They were both interrogators and that made me aloof." "Okay. Now you must look past the energy competition that existed in your family and search for the real reason you were there." I looked at him blankly. "The process of finding your true spiritual identity involves looking at your whole life as one long story. Trying to find a higher meaning. Begin by asking yourself this question. Why was I born to this particular family? What might have been the purpose for that?" "I don't know," I said. "Your father was an interrogator. What else was he?" "You mean, what did he stand for?" "Yes." I thought for a moment, then said, "My father genuinely believes in enjoying life and living with integrity but making the most of what life has to offer. You know, living life to the fullest." "Has he been able to do this?" "To some extent, but somehow he always seems to have a run of bad luck just when he thinks he's about to enjoy life the most." Father Carl squinted his eyes in contemplation. "He believes life is for fun and enjoyment, but he hasn't quite pulled it off." "Yes." "Have you thought about why?" "Not really. I always figured he was unlucky. Maybe he hasn't found the way to do it yet." "Maybe not. What about your mother? She's no longer living. Can you see what her life represented?" "Yes. Her life was her church. She stood for Christian principles." "In what way?" "She believed in community service and in following God's laws." "Did she follow God's laws?" "To the letter. At least so far as her church taught." "Was she able to convince your father to do the same thing?" I laughed. "Not really. My mother wanted him to go to church every week and to be involved in community programs. But as I told you, he was more of a free spirit than that." "So where did that leave you?" I looked at him. "I've never thought about it." "Didn't they both want your allegiance? Wasn't that why they were interrogating you? To make sure you weren't siding with the values of the other? Didn't they both want you to think their way was the best?" "Yes. You're right." "How did you respond?" "I just tried to avoid taking a stand, I guess." "They both monitored you to see if you were measuring up to their particular views. And unable to please both, you became aloof." "That's about it," I said. "What happened to your mother?" he asked. "She developed Parkinson's disease and died after being sick for a long time." "Did she remain true to her faith?" "Absolutely," I said. "Throughout it all." "So what meaning did she leave you with? What?" "You're looking for the meaning her life has for you. The reason you were born to her. What you were there to learn. Every human being, whether they are conscious of it or not, illustrates with their lives how he or she thinks a human being is supposed to live. You must try to discover what she taught you and at the same time what about her life could have been done better. What you would have changed about your mother is part of what you yourself are working on." "Why only part?" "Because how you would improve on your father's life is the other part." I was still confused. He placed his hand on my shoulder. "We are not merely the physical creation of our parents. We are also the spiritual creation. You were born to these two people and their lives had an irrevocable effect on who you are. To discover your real self, you must admit that the real you began in a position between their truths. That's why you were born there. To take a higher perspective on what they stood for. Your path is about discovering a truth that is a higher synthesis of what these two people believed." I nodded. "So how would you express what your parents taught you?" "I'm not sure," I replied. "What do you think?" "My father taught life was about maximizing his aliveness, his enjoyment of who he was. And he tried to pursue that end. My mother believed more in sacrifice and in spending her time in service to others, denying herself. She felt this is what the scriptures command." "And you, how do you feel about this?" "I don't know, really." "Which viewpoint would you choose for yourself? That of your mother or that of your father?" "Neither. I mean, life is not that simple." He laughed. "You're being vague." "I guess I don't know. But if you had to choose one or the other?" I hesitated, trying to think honestly. Then the answer came to me. "They're both correct," I said, "and incorrect." His eyes beamed. "How?" "I'm not sure exactly, but I think a correct life must include both views." "The question for you," Father Carl said, "is how? How does one live a life that is both?" "From your mother you received the knowledge that life is about spirituality. From your father you learned that life is about self-enhancement, fun, adventure." "So, my life," I interrupted, "is about somehow combining the two approaches?" "Yes, for you, spirituality is the question. Your whole life will be about finding one that is self-enhancing. This is the problem your parents were unable to reconcile, the one they left for you. This is your evolutionary question, your quest this lifetime." The idea propelled me into deep thought. Father Carl said something else, but I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying. The waning fire was having a calming effect on me. I realized I was tired. Father Carl sat up straight and said, "I think you are out of energy for tonight. But, let me leave you with one thought. You can go to sleep and never think again of what we have discussed. You can go right back into your old drama. Or, you can wake up tomorrow and hold on to this new idea of who you are. If you do, then you can take the next step in the process, which is to look closely at all the other things that have happened to you since birth. If you view your life as one story from birth to right now, you'll be able to see how you have been working on this question all along. You'll be able to see how you came to be here in Peru and what you should do next." I nodded and looked at him closely. His eyes were warm and caring and held the same expression I had seen so often on Will's face and Sanchez's. "Good night," Father Carl said, and walked into the bedroom and closed the door. I unrolled my sleeping bag on the floor and fell quickly to sleep.
I woke up with Will on my mind. I wanted to ask Father Carl what else he knew of Will's plans. As I lay there thinking, still zipped in the sleeping bag, Father Carl walked into the room quietly and began rebuilding the fire. I unzipped the bag and he looked over at me, alerted by the sound. "Good morning," he said. "How did you sleep?" "Okay," I replied, standing. He put fresh kindling on the coals and then larger pieces of firewood. "What did Will say he was going to do?" I asked. Father Carl stood and faced me. "He said he was going to a friend's house to wait for some information he expected. Apparently, information about the Ninth Insight." "What else did he say?" I asked. "Will told me that he thought Father Sebastian intends to find the last insight himself and seems to be close. Will thinks that the person who controls the last insight will determine whether the manuscript ever becomes widely distributed and understood." "Why?" "I'm not sure, really. Will was one of the first to ever collect and read the insights. He may understand them better than any man alive. He feels, I think, that the last insight will make all the others become more clear and accepted." "Do you think he is right?" I asked. "I don't know," he replied. "I don't understand as much as he does. All I understand is what I am supposed to do." "What is that?" He paused momentarily, then replied, "As I said before, my truth is to help people discover who they really are. When I read the manuscript, this mission became clear to me. The Sixth Insight is my special insight. My truth is helping others grasp this insight. And I'm effective because I've gone through the process myself." "What is your control drama?" I asked. He looked at me with amusement. "I was an interrogator. You control people by finding something wrong with the way they live their lives?" "That's right. My father was a poor me and my mother was aloof. They completely ignored me. The only way I could get any attention, energy, was to pry into what they were doing and then point out something wrong with it." "And when did you work through this drama?" "About 18 months ago, when I met Father Sanchez and began to study the manuscript. After I really looked at my parents, I realized what my experience with them was preparing me to do. You see, my father stood for accomplishment. He was very goal-oriented. He planned his time to the minute and judged himself according to how much he got done. My mother was very intuitive and mystical. She believed that each of us received spiritual guidance and that life was about following this direction." "What did your father think about that?" "He thought it was crazy." I smiled, but said nothing. "Can you see where that left me?" Father Carl asked. I shook my head. I couldn't quite grasp it. "Because of my father," he said, "I was sensitized to the idea that life was about accomplishment, having something important to do and getting it done. But, at the same time, my mother was there to tell me life was about inner direction, intuitive guidance of some sort. I realized that my life was a synthesis of both viewpoints. I was trying to discover how we are guided inwardly toward the mission only we can do, knowing it is of supreme importance to pursue this mission if we are to feel happy and fulfilled." I nodded. "And," he continued, "you can see why I was excited about the Sixth Insight. As soon as I read it, I knew that my work was to help people get clear so that they could develop this sense of purpose." "Do you know how Will got on the path he is on?" "Yes, he shared some of this information with me. Will's drama was to be aloof, like yours. Also, as in your case, each of his parents was an interrogator and each had a strong philosophy they wanted Will to adopt. Will's father was a German novelist who argued that the ultimate destiny of the human race was to perfect itself. His father never advocated anything but the purest of humanitarian principles. But, the Nazis used his basic idea of perfection to help legitimize their murderous liquidation of inferior races. The corruption of his theme destroyed the old man and led him to move to South America with his wife and Will. His wife was a Peruvian who grew up in America and was educated there. She was a writer, too, but she was basically Eastern in her philosophical beliefs. She held that life was about reaching an inner enlightenment, a higher consciousness marked by peace of mind and detachment from the things of the world. According to her, life was not about perfection. It was about letting go of the need to perfect anything, to go anywhere. Can you see where this left Will?" I shook my head. "He was left," Father Carl continued, "in a difficult position. His father championed the Western ideal of working for progress and perfection, and his mother held the Eastern belief that life was only about reaching inner peace, nothing else. These two people had prepared Will to work on integrating the main philosophical differences between Eastern and Western culture. Although he didn't know it at first, he first became an engineer dedicated to progress and then a simple guide who sought peace by bringing people to the beautiful, inwardly moving places in this country. But searching out the manuscript awakened all this in him. The insights speak directly to his main question. They reveal that the thought of both East and West can indeed be integrated into a higher truth. They show us that the West is correct in maintaining that life is about progress, about evolving toward something higher. Yet the East is also correct in emphasizing that we must let go of control with the ego. We can't progress by using logic alone. We have to attain a fuller consciousness, an inner connection with God, because only then can our evolution toward something better be guided by a higher part of ourselves. When Will began to discover the insights, his whole life began to flow. He met Jose, the priest who first found the manuscript and had it translated. Soon after that, he met the owner of Vicinte and helped start the research there. And at about the same time, he met Julia, who was in business, but was also guiding people to the Virgin Forest. It was with Julia that Will had the most affinity. They hit it off immediately because of the similarity in the questions they pursued. Julia grew up with a father who talked of spiritual ideas, but in a capricious and flaky way. Her mother, on the other hand, was a college speech teacher, a debater, who demanded clear thinking. Naturally, Julia found herself wanting information about spirituality, but insisting that it be intelligible and precise. Will wanted a synthesis between East and West that explained human spirituality, and Julia wanted this explanation to be perfectly clear, something the manuscript was providing for both." "Breakfast is ready," Sanchez called from the kitchen. I turned around, surprised. I didn't realize Sanchez was up. Without pursuing the conversation any further, Father Carl and I got up and joined Sanchez in a meal of fruit and cereal. Afterwards, Father Carl asked me to take a walk to the ruins with him. I agreed, wanting very much to go there again. Both of us looked at Father Sanchez and he gracefully declined, explaining that he needed to drive down the mountain and make some phone calls. Outside, the sky was crystal clear and the sun shone brightly over the peaks. He walked briskly. "Do you think there is a way to contact Will?" I asked. "No," he replied. "He did not tell me who his friends were. The only way would be to drive to Iquitos, a town near the northern border, and I think that might be unsafe right now." "Why there?" I asked. "He said he thought his search would take him to this town. There are many ruins near there. Also, Cardinal Sebastian has a mission nearby." "Do you think Will will find the last insight?" "I don't know." We walked in silence for several minutes. Then Father Carl asked, "Have you made a decision about what course to take personally? What do you mean?" "Father Sanchez said, you were talking at first about going back immediately to the United States, but that lately you seem to be more interested in exploring the insights. How are you feeling now?" "Precarious," I said. "But for some reason, I also want to continue. I understand a man was killed right beside you." "That's right. And still you want to stay?" "No," I said. "I want to get away, save my life. Yet here I am. Why do you think that is?" He asked. I scrutinized his expression. "I don't know. Do you?" "Do you remember where we left our conversation last night?" I remembered exactly. We had discovered the question my parents left me with, to find a spirituality that is self-enhancing, that gives one a sense of adventure and fulfillment. And you said if I looked closely at how my life has evolved, this question would put my life in perspective and clear up what's happening to me now." He smiled mysteriously. "Yes, according to the manuscript, it will. How does that occur?" "Each of us must look at the significant turns in our lives and reinterpret them in light of our evolutionary question." I shook my head, not comprehending. "Try to perceive the sequence of interests, important friends, coincidences that have occurred in your life. Weren't they leading you somewhere?" I thought about my life since childhood, but could find no pattern. "How did you spend your time as you grew up?" he asked. "I don't know. I was a typical child, I guess. I read a lot." "What did you read?" "Mysterious stuff, mostly. Science fiction, ghost stories, that kind of thing." "What happened in your life after that?" I thought about the effect my grandfather had on me and told Father Carl about the lake in the mountains. He nodded his head knowingly. "And after you grew up, what happened?" "I went away to college. My grandfather died while I was away." "What did you study at college?" "Sociology." "Why?" "I met a professor I liked. His knowledge of human nature interested me. I decided to study with him." "What happened then?" "I graduated and went to work. Did you enjoy it?" "Yes. For a long time. Then things changed. I felt that what I was doing wasn't complete. I was working with emotionally disturbed adolescents and I thought I knew how they could transcend their pasts and stop the acting out that was so self-defeating. I thought I could help them go on with their lives. I finally realized something was missing in my approach. Then what?" "I quit. And?" "And then an old friend called and told me of the manuscript." "Is that when you decided to come to Peru?" "Yes." "What do you think of your experience here?" "I think it's crazy," I said. "I think I'm going to get myself killed. But what do you think of the way your experience has progressed?" "I don't understand." "When Father Sanchez told me what had happened to you since coming to Peru," he said, "I was amazed at the series of coincidences that brought you face to face with the different insights of the manuscript just when you needed them." "What do you think that means?" I asked. He stopped walking and faced me. "It means you were ready. You were like the rest of us here. You came to the point where you needed the manuscript in order to continue your life evolution. Think about how the events of your life fit together. From the beginning you were interested in mysterious topics and that interest finally led you to study human nature. Why do you think you happened to meet that particular teacher? He crystallized your interests and led you into looking at the greatest mystery, the human situation on this planet, the question of what life is about. Then at some level you knew that life's meaning was connected to the problem of transcending our past conditioning and moving our lives forward. That's why you were working with those kids. But as you can understand now, it has taken the insights to clear up what was missing in your technique with those youths. In order for emotionally disturbed children to evolve, they have to do what we all have to do, get connected with enough energy to see through their intense control drama, what you call acting out, and go forward in what turns out to be a spiritual process, a process you have been trying to understand all along. See the higher perspective on these events, all the interests that led you forward in your past, all these stages of growth were just preparing you to be here now exploring the insights. You've been working on your evolutionary search for a self-enhancing spirituality throughout your entire life. And the energy you acquired from that natural spot where you grew up, an energy your grandfather was trying to show you, finally gave you the courage to come to Peru. You are here because this is where you need to be to continue the evolution. Your whole life has been a long road leading you directly to this moment." He smiled. "When you fully integrate this view of your life, you will have achieved what the manuscript calls a clear awareness of your spiritual path. According to the manuscript, we all must spend as much time as necessary going through this process of clearing your past. Most of us have a control drama we have to transcend. But once we do, we can comprehend the higher meaning for why we were born to our particular parents and what all the twists and turns of our lives were preparing us to do. We all have a spiritual purpose, a mission that we have been pursuing without being fully aware of it. And once we bring it completely into consciousness, our lives can take off. In your case, you've discovered this purpose. Now you must go forward allowing the coincidences to lead you into a clearer
and clearer idea of how to pursue this mission from this point on, what else you must do here. Since you've been in Peru, you've been riding along on Will's energy and Father Sanchez's. But now it's time to learn to evolve by yourself consciously."
He was about to tell me something more, but we were both distracted by the sight of Sanchez's truck racing up behind us. He pulled alongside and rolled down his window. "What's wrong?" Father Carl asked. "I must return to the mission as soon as I can get packed." Sanchez said. "Government troops are there and Cardinal Sebastian."
We both jumped into the truck and Sanchez drove back toward Father Carl's house telling us along the way that the troops were at his mission to confiscate all copies of the manuscript and possibly to close it down. We drove up to Father Carl's house and hurriedly walked inside. Father Sanchez immediately began to pack his belongings. I stood there deliberating on what to do.
As I watched, Father Carl approached the other priest and said, "I think I should go with you." Sanchez turned. "Are you sure?" "Yes, I believe I should." "For what purpose?" "I don't know yet." Sanchez stared at him for a moment, then returned to packing. "If you think that is best."
I was leaning against the door frame. "What should I do?" I asked. Both men looked at me. "That's up to you." Father Carl said. I just stared. "You'll have to make the decision." Sanchez interjected. I couldn't believe they were so detached about my choice. To go with them meant certain capture by the Peruvian troops. Yet how could I stay here alone?
"Look." I said. "I don't know what to do. You two must help me. Is there anyone else who can hide me?" Both men looked at one another. "I don't think so." Father Carl said. I looked at them, a knot of anxiety growing in my stomach.
Father Carl smiled at me and said, "Stay centered. Remember who you are." Sanchez walked over to a bag and pulled out a folder. "This is a copy of the sixth insight." he said. "Perhaps it will help you decide what to do." As I took the copy, Sanchez looked at Father Carl and asked, "How long before you can leave?" "I'll need to contact some people." Father Carl said. "Probably an hour." Sanchez looked at me. Read and think for a while. Then we will talk.
Both men returned to their preparations and I walked outside and sat down on a large rock then opened the manuscript. It echoed exactly the words of Father Sanchez and Father Carl. Clearing the past was a precise process of becoming aware of our individual ways of controlling learned in childhood. And once we could transcend this habit, it said, we would find our higher self, our evolutionary identity. I read the entire text in less than 30 minutes and when I finished, I finally understood the basic insight. Before we could fully enter the special state of mind that so many people were glimpsing, the experience of ourselves moving onward in life guided by mysterious coincidences, we had to wake up to who we really were.
At that moment, Father Carl walked around the house, spotted me and came to where I was sitting. "Have you finished?" He asked. His manner was warm and friendly as usual. "Yes." "Do you mind if I sit here with you for a moment?" "I wish you would." He positioned himself to my right and after a period of silence asked, "Do you understand that you are on your path of discovery here?" "I guess, but now what?" "Now you must really believe it. How when I feel this afraid?" "You must understand what is at stake. The truth you are pursuing is as important as the evolution of the universe itself for it enables evolution to continue. Don't you see? Father Sanchez told me of your vision of evolution on the ridge top. You saw how matter evolved from the simple vibration of hydrogen all the way to humankind. You wondered how humans carried on this evolution. You have now discovered the answer. Humans are born into their historical situations and find something to stand for. They form a union with another human being who also has found some purpose. The children born to this union then reconcile these two positions by pursuing a higher synthesis guided by the coincidences as I'm sure you learned in the fifth insight. Each time we fill up with energy and a coincidence occurs to lead us forward in our lives, we institute this level of energy in ourselves and so we can exist at a higher vibration. Our children take our level of vibration and raise it even higher. This is how we as humans continue evolution. The difference now with this generation is that we are ready to do it consciously and to accelerate the process. No matter how afraid you become, you now have no choice. Once you learn what life is about, there is no way to erase the knowledge. If you tried to do something else with your life, you will always sense that you are missing something."
"But what do I do now?" "I don't know. Only you know that. But I suggest you first try to gain some energy."
Father Sanchez rounded the corner of the house and joined us carefully avoiding eye contact or noise as if he desired not to interrupt. I tried to center myself and to focus on the rock peaks that encircled the house. I took a deep breath [snorts] and realized that I had been totally self-absorbed since coming outside as if I had had tunnel vision. I had cut myself off from the beauty and majesty of the mountains. As I gazed out at the surroundings, consciously trying to appreciate what I was seeing, I began to experience that now familiar feeling of closeness. Suddenly everything seemed to exhibit more presence and to glow slightly. I began to feel lighter, my body more buoyant. I looked at Father Sanchez and then at Father Carl. They were gazing intensely at me and I could tell they were observing my energy field.
"How do I look?" I asked. "You look as if you feel better," Sanchez said. "Stay here and increase your energy as much as possible. We have about 20 more minutes of packing." He smiled wryly. "After that," he continued, "you will be ready to begin."