Transcription
Hi guys, I know this is not my usual setting, but I was actually going to bed and, um, I felt called to do this video. It's basically about letting go—knowing when to let go and how to let go.
The reason why I want to do this video is because for the past days I have been helping a friend of mine, giving him advice on how to let go of a job that he has been working at for seven years. It's like his career field, and he just stopped growing in that career, so he began to feel miserable. Um, the boss kept promising him stuff but never delivering on it. He basically told me, “Liz, what should I do?” and I told him, “You have to leave.”
You know, when you're stuck in a situation like that where you're miserable, people are promising you stuff they're not delivering on it, or you're stuck in a relationship—what you need to do is think about… I was reading this book, yeah, in, um, *The Art of Thinking Clearly*. It talked about something called the sunk cost fallacy. Sunk cost fallacy basically means you don't have to look at how much time or energy you spend into something as a reason why you should stay. You should look at what is the future of this thing. It doesn't matter how much time or energy you put in if the future of it is not going to get better. If you have put years into that relationship and energy and whatever, but you're unhappy and you see your future in that relationship being unhappy, then there's no point in staying. The same with the company or your work; if it's not going up, there's no point in staying.
First thing: realize when you're being manipulated. When a person is promising you stuff and never delivering on it, you are being manipulated. If someone is telling you—even if a boss is telling you—“Yeah, you will get this position if you do this,” then you do that thing and you still don't get that position, that's manipulation. Because it's like they're promising you stuff, but they're never delivering on it. Same way in a relationship: they're promising you to change, they're promising you that they'll do better or whatever, it won't happen again, but then it does. Manipulation. They're just saying anything to make you stay. If the words don't match the actions, you leave. You guys need to stop believing people on words. People are full of… okay, let's be honest here—it's so easy to lie. Why wouldn't everyone lie? You know, if I wanted to keep a girl, but I know I'm not serious with her, but I can just sleep around with her, I would also lie to her to make her stay. You know, why not? If I can, why not? Most people don't feel bad when they do that. You need to realize that not everyone has a good heart or morals or feels bad about the stuff. No, most people don't. You guys need to start realizing that the world is really harsh. When the words do not match the actions…
See, I had so many people in my life screaming to me, “Liz, I love you, I love you,” but then they would do stuff to me that was so shitty that I would think, “How is this love?” You know? And then you have me. I'm verbally… I don't say that much like, “Oh, I love you,” but I will always show with my actions that I respect you, I love you, and I'm loyal to you. Like, my actions will always show. I don't talk, I show you. And that's how you have to look at people. Look at your boss: are they just talking, or are they actually giving me what I want and what they promised me? Look at your relationship the same way. Other thing is: what they can easily get will never be valued. Okay? And also, if you're easy—like, if you're loyal to a company that is literally not giving you what you want but promising, making false promises—also, they will not value you. Because see, with my friend, the issue was what his boss did: he promised, promised, promised, never delivered. But the boss knew the guy would never leave; he's so loyal to this company, he knew he would not leave, so he knew this behavior could go on for years and years without him really doing anything. You know? And they would even say like, “Oh, no, he will never leave, doesn't matter whatever.” That's how these people start to disrespect you. Start to value yourself. You know? Start to value what you want and what you think that you deserve. Relationships: don't get too easily with people. Make them literally work for you. Make people prove—especially if you're going into a relationship with a man—make that man prove to you that he's worthy of being with you. Because in this day and age, and I truly believe this is the issue with most relationships these days, is because we've created this whole thing of like, “Oh, no, uh, they don't have to do anything anymore, everything is equal, this and that.” So then you have men that don't want to show up and be men anymore. They're just like, “Okay, whatever, I don't have to do anything,” so they're not going to do anything. And even worse, they want to take from the woman now. Yes, I do believe in equality. I do believe a man and a woman should be equal, and I'm happy if that's the way it is. But at the end of the day, if you like, make it so easy for a man to get with you and he doesn't have to do anything at all and he can still be in a relationship with you, they will abuse that power. They will abuse that power. And that is not an… that's not equality. You know, cuz again, they're more powerful over you because you're giving yourself away for nothing. This person doesn't even appreciate you, respect you, doesn't do anything for you, and you're just giving yourself… you're giving your time. Value yourself. Making someone literally prove to you that they're a good person with their actions is valuing yourself. That is self-respect. There's just nothing worse than a waste of time. Wasted time on people. Don't waste your time. Your time is valuable. You guys, like, literally, I've heard so many older people say, “Time flies like this. Today you're 20 years old, tomorrow you're 80,” and it flies like this. Don't waste your time on dumb people. Don't waste your time on dumb people. Don't put your energy into people that promise you stuff and don't deliver. Don't go to people that don't respect you or are toxic because you're lonely and you don't have anyone, so I'll just stay with them. But then you end up being miserable again. They're taking away from you; they're taking away from your years, and you end up feeling bad about yourself. You end up feeling insecure and thinking that you cannot do anything bad. Those kind of bosses, those kind of relationship people, what they will do is they will make it seem like you are… this is the only good thing you will ever get. Like, you cannot get any better than this. And that is just such… that's one of the things they do with their manipulation. Yeah, they have to make you feel like you cannot get do anything better. So that toxic partner will make you feel like you cannot get anyone better than him or anyone that treats you with decency and respect. They will make you actually believe that. Or your job: they will make you believe that, “Oh, you cannot get anywhere better. You will not be paid better. You will not get the same respect or position.” What? That's such… stop listening to these people. It's not true. It's not true. In order to control you, they have to make you feel this small. But you have the power to take to take that back and be like, “No, you know what? I deserve much better, and I'm capable of much better, and yes, I can get much better than you.” And you can. There's literally billions of people in this world, and you think this one douchebag is your only option? Please. There's literally so many companies. You can start your own company. There's so many options in this world. Money is only an energy. If you start to understand money in an energetic way, you also start to realize it doesn't have to be this hard. He stocks people constantly benefit from putting you down and making you feel this small, but like… stop. It has to stop. And the only power you have right now is to take your own power back. You gave away your power to those people. Those people are not powerful without your energy that you gave to them. That company is nothing without you. That company needs you; you don't need them. That toxic person needs you; you don't need them. You think anyone wants to be with someone that treats them like… nobody wants to do that. So when they're telling you you can't do anything better, they're actually projecting onto you. They can't do anything better. That company cannot find a better employee than you. That partner cannot find a better partner than you because you're the only one that wants to put up with their stuff. Nobody else wants to do that. Whether it's a company, whether it's a relationship, that thing, whatever it is, should always add to your life and not take away from it. For example, my friend that works for a company, he completely doesn't have any time anymore for his friends or family. Constantly working, constantly working, became miserable. His relationships are failing, um, so… and he doesn't even make enough money to make up for that. You know? So it's like his relationships are completely failing, and the company is taking away from his relationship, his personal life. It shouldn't do that. If you're doing a job, that job should add… you should make your money, and and you should like… you should still have your life. You should still have… be able to keep your relationships. And the same way… you know, I'm going to say one thing: have a partner and you have a good family that cares about you, and your family says that this guy is not good for you or this girl is not good for you, and they can see it, and and you actually also know there's kind of red flags, but you still choose that partner over your family and you lose your family because you chose that partner—that's a dumb decision. I'm going to say it here: that's a dumb decision. If you have a good family—I'm not talking about toxic families—if you have a family that actually cares about you, once that toxic person that got you away from your family knows that you don't have anyone anymore and you're not communicating with your family anymore, you're done. You're done. You're literally like caged for them because they have all control now. Every time you want to leave, they'll they'll say, “Where do you want to go? You don't have anyone.” They literally feed off of this. You cannot—I can't go against literally the people that I love because of a man. Honestly, truly, I've had friends, co-workers, people that I used to know, tell me that they did this when when they had a good family, and they said it was the worst decision of my life. The person became abusive. The person literally did anything and everything to me, and um, yeah, at the end of the day, they felt isolated. So much trauma coming out of it because you're not talking to anyone anymore. You don't have anyone to go to. Now you only have this one toxic person, and you're isolated with them. With them… that sometimes people around you that love you, you might feel like, “Oh, they're going against me. They don't know what they're talking about,” whatever. Sometimes they know better. Believe me, trust me. I have seen it with my own eyes. Not with one case; I've seen multiple cases like this. Sometimes your loved ones know better. Realize that it's okay to change your mind. You don't have to do things like one way or just because you studied this and you're this in this company and you did this job, but you don't feel good there and you want to do something else. It's okay to do something else. You know, it's never too late to change direction. You will anyways go where you're meant to go or where your intuition leads you. You will get there, but maybe it's not a straight line. Maybe you have to go like this or try different things to in order for you to just feel like, “Oh, this is what I want to do.” I was watching this interview from Tony Robbins, and Tony Robbins was basically talking about… humans get unhappy and depressed when they stop progressing in life. Progression is literally what makes us happy. That's why even if you look at people that are at the top, they have millions and millions, they… you you might look at them and see, “Whoa, oh my God, they accomplished everything,” but they're miserable. Why do you think that is? They stopped progressing in life. They don't have that drive anymore because they have everything. So we constantly need to find that thing that drives us. Need to find that thing that makes us want… want to involve. And when you feel like it's not okay to change your mind or you have to stay this way because this is what you've been taught and whatever, you'll become miserable at the end of the day because you know that this is not what you want. And second of all, you feel like you're not progressing because this is not even what you want to begin with. You don't even want to progress in this thing, so you're stuck, and you will really become miserable. Start thinking about, “Okay, maybe this was not what I wanted. I tried this, but this is not what I want. This relationship, I tried it, but this was not what I want. I want something else.” It's okay to change your mind. It's okay. We are here on Earth to constantly evolve. When you stop evolving, that's when you stop living. So once you made that decision for yourself that you have to let go, you plan your exit. Okay? If you're in that company and you want to leave, what you do is you search for another job in another company, or maybe you're like, “Okay, I don't want to work for now. I'm going to take off and travel,” or whatever, or I'm going to do… whatever you want to do, but plan your exit. Plan your exit. In a relationship, if if this is really not what you want, okay, you start thinking about how can I get out of this relationship? Do you need financial… do you need money? Um, whatever you need, uh, maybe you can uh find family members, friends, anyone that can help you to get out. Plan your exit. You do not stay where respect is not served. You do not stay where you're manipulated. You do not stay where you're miserable. Once you have let go and you close that door, you do not open that door again. And why am I saying this? Listen, I used to constantly—when I was… I had an ex… me and my ex were good friends, but um, he would constantly… he would take care of me financially when I was really, really broke and I really needed him, but I didn't like the relationship anymore, and there was no love, and I wanted to leave. I constantly would like ask God like, “Please give me someone that I love that they scare of me,” um, but that would never happen, and I would constantly be stuck with this partner. So what happened is I literally, in a moment where I was my Brokers, I was like, “You know what? I have… have to let go of my ex, otherwise the person that is meant for me can never come in.” So what I did is I was like, “Okay, I'm just going to let go of him. I don't care that I literally have no money, you know, without him.” So then I let him go, and then literally like, uh, a year later, I met my partner now, and he's literally what I've wanted and what I've prayed, prayed for. So in order for that manifestation to come in that you want about maybe the partner or or the job that you want, you need to let go of the thing that's not serving you. If the thing right now is not what you want, but you just hold on to it because it's comfortable, you have to have faith and let go. Because I really, really believe… if you don't believe in God, believe in yourself. If if whether it's the universe, something else, I don't know. I really believe God has a bigger plan. Really, honestly, I… I believe God has a bigger plan, and I think the thing we ask for are just pathetic, and he has like such a big plan, and we can have like huge, huge stuff, but where we don't think that we can have it, so we never attract it. And this is what I told my friend as well. I'm like, “You have to show God that you trust him. You know, you have… you don't have to be afraid to let go of this toxic uh job that you have right now and uh be like, ‘Oh, no, if if I don't let this go, I will not have something else.’ You will, cuz God always provides. You will always have… always. But you have to have some faith. And if you don't believe in God, believe in yourself. You will provide for yourself. You will… you got yourself out of so many bad situations, did you not? Like, we literally went through so much and we're still standing. We're still doing our stuff, doing like… trying to get better and trying to evolve. So you're still here, are you not? Why do you not believe in yourself then? Why do you not think you can get better? Every time you thought that this was the end and and like you will never get out of this, you got out of it, didn't you? Why do you think that this time you're going to fail yourself? You're not. Trust me. Trust me. Once you let go… once I had let go of all the shitty friends that I had, all like my partner that there was no love anymore, once I let all of that go, I… I promise you, everything I ever wanted came in. And there is no person that has left my life that I miss. Truly, truly, I'm sorry. And there is no person that I would take back from from my previous life like in this… like in this new reality that I'm living. No, I'm sorry. I'm literally not. But once all that… that like unwanted is gone, your true purpose starts to show. You start to see what is meant for you, and and literally miracles start to happen because you had faith. You had faith in yourself. You had faith in God, and you were not afraid to take risks. Sometimes in life you need to get uncomfortable. You see, when you're jumping from your uh present reality to the new one that you want, in the beginning it might be a little chaotic. Like, it's not going to be amazing from the get-go, you know? And you have to accept that, but that's okay. You know, you've survived much worse. Much worse. This time when you're going into this, you actually have a plan and you have wisdom that you didn't have before. So this time around it will be different. I promise you, it will be different. And don't also think like, “Oh, no, it's too late, like my age, this and that, whatever.” No. People have done incredible things at 60, at 70. They've accomplished… only… you know, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Your age doesn't matter. See, age is just a number. We are a soul. You know, it's… it's all about our soul. You guys have to realize that our souls are here on Earth to evolve, literally, and to learn constantly. We have to learn. Once we stop learning and evolving, we stop living. So in order for you to do that, you constantly have to experience new things. You have to create those experiences for yourself, and you don't have to be scared to do that. Fear stops everything. Instead of fear, have faith. Have faith in yourself. If you believe in God, have faith in God. Have faith in the universe. Everything will work out for you at the end. But don't do a dishonor to yourself… yourself by staying where you're not welcome. Anyways, guys, I love you guys so much. I'm so sorry looking like this because I know a lot of people don't like it uh when I am not dressed up, but honestly, I just really wanted to share this message with you guys because I felt like… I felt some of you need it. Um, so yeah, I love you guys so much. Bye-bye.