Transcription
All right. So, you don't lack confidence. You actually lack something simpler, something that anyone can attain if they watch this video. So, just give me a few minutes, and I'm going to show you how to actually attain what you're actually looking for. Okay? Endoquil. Okay.
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So let me show you how to do right. Essentially, most people, when they think of confidence, why do you want to have confidence? So that you can feel comfortable around the person. So that you can express yourself, right? So that you can be yourself, right? And the problem is that when you lack confidence, you're judging yourself, right? You're you're consistently thinking what the other person is thinking about you, and above all, you silently silently see them as an enemy.
So one of the keys to developing confidence or developing the confidence that you want because think about it, the type of confidence you want is a type that you're able to talk to your boss. You're able to talk to a girl that you like, a guy that you like. You're able to talk to your parents. You're able to go out to strangers. You're able to put yourself in unfamiliar situations and feel like it's familiar. So, it's really comes down to making the unfamiliar, familiar. And the word familiar comes from the word familia. And one of what is one of the most qualities one of the most important qualities of a family member is that you don't see them as a stranger. Right? One of the things about strangers is that you have no empathy for strangers, but for family you do have empathy, and that is the key difference is the fact that you see your family member as non-threatening. You see strangers who you don't know their thoughts, their emotions, their desires, their goals; you see them as dangerous.
So, with this being said, you the key to real confidence isn't developing co confidence because the type of confidence you're talking about about talking to your boss or going up to a girl, we call that situational confidence. And what I mean by situational confidence is that that that confidence is only there based on the circumstance. We want to be able to create and have a certain level of confidence that doesn't matter the circumstance. So you develop empathy. Empathy is the one thing that will cause you to see someone who's threatening as non-threatening. It is why I could promise you if if Satan had a mom like he he'll see her he'll see him as like the sweetest boy on the planet. The reason why that is because you lose that sense of threatening because you feel familiar to them. So developing empathy to me is the key to developing confidence. Now you don't look if you want to develop situational confidence that's fine. But have you ever seen a Christian, a Buddhist, any religious person, Isl a a Muslim? One of the things about them is that they are not shy about about their their religion. And if you're actually really really religious deeply and you love it, you'll notice that rather than feeling anxiety at new people, you actually feel an intense level of compassion like a desire to help them. Notice how compassion is empathy is an energy that comes towards the person. You want to help like there's like it's like a it's like a like a an assertive energy. Lack of confidence and shyness is an energy that's like withhold cocoons you right puts you in a warm spot that's actually a a mental prison.
So this empathy will cause you to literally to do what? Imagine this to get out of your creepy ass shell. Empathy is what causes you to think about somebody else before yourself. Empathy and compassion is what causes people who who who who there is like an accident to risk their lives for you. Literally the ultimate form of confidence is developing empathy and developing compassion. If if if you if you are nervous rather than trying to be confident by saying okay I make this much money don't forget Alexa you're the Don't do that. Just say look at them in your mind and and just see imagine them and say to you say to them may you be happy may you find peace and may you be at peace may you be healthy like wish them well it literally like I don't know about you but it literally lowers your anxiety and what's crazy is that it makes you want to hug them not like hug them but it makes you want to help want to talk want to find out about them in fact if you're somebody who's self-absorbed this we call this meditation meta This meditation will literally change your anxiet will make you not think of yourself, will make you want to know more about the person than you than you trying to tell them about you. Literally like it's it's it's the secret. I'm not even going to lie. Um it's a secret. And and it's actually in church when church members were shy about approaching people to talk about Jesus, we literally would do the first thing we would do is that we would imagine them and say to God, "God, bless that person. God, I wish you I wish you will bless them and their families." And one of the things that we notice is that the anxieties would lower. Like literally, you approach the person and say, "God bless them. God, I hope they I hope they understand your message." You approach them and you actually feel more confident in any situation. And the beauty about it is that the empathy causes you to ask They're right questions and it genuinely makes you interested. Sound like I'm torturing a mouse. It It makes you It's genuinely interested. And what that does is that it genuinely it changes your non-verbal cues; they'll sense authenticity emanating from you. Um, and I, for example, like the way I like to do this meditation, I do it in multiple ways. I do it multiple times a day. And what happens is that I don't notice this any I don't notice this anymore, but you really see people as family members. Like obviously you don't go up to them, right? But you you you see them and there's like a softness. You're like you just it makes you happy seeing people. Or something that I'll do is I'll put that song hum to the sea because or or thinking out loud by Shiron and as I'm in a taxi I'll just look at each person that I see and for and just focus on them for 30 for like two seconds and wish him well but you be well I'll look at the taxi driver not make eye contact but be like I wish you well and what happens is that you're training your brain to have empathy there's no nervousness in that you just can never be nervous really all right anyways um if you don't honestly go ahead and do that. By the way, I'm sorry. Looks like Hitler. Um, go ahead and do that and tell me how it goes in the comment section. Like, it's very it's really difficult to have to be nervous around somebody who you wish happiness, who you wish peace; it's impossible. But if you're trying to take something from them, if you're trying to be sneaky, if you're thinking of only yourself or or how much money you could get out of this deal, you're going to get nervous. Nervousness comes when you don't see them as as family or when you're trying to be sneaky about some All right, so don't be sneaky. And this is how you actually become confident. Take care.